# Mental Injury



## givati (Dec 5, 2011)

Just over 1 year ago I had a wicked endo. Sever separated shoulder and several fractured ribs. Funny thing about it was it wasn't on some monster technical decent but, a high speed flat single track section. Simply lost focus, slipped of the trail and hit a rock.
Well, I haven't been the same since. I have lost something mentally and I'm not sure I can get it back.
My friends rode Porcupine Rim last spring. I couldn't go because I just had achilles surgery (a whole other story). I was actually glad I missed the trip.

Bottom line. . . . I'm afraid. I don't want to be.


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## dkbikes4life (Nov 20, 2010)

I'm in the same boat as you. I had my worse wreck ever back on May 13, 2002 riding BMX. Smashed my face into a brick ledge and broke from one cheek bone to the top of my nose then back down to the other cheek bone. Moved the whole middle piece of my face over a little too and had to have reconstructive surgery. I have 4 plates and 16 screws on my skull now because of it.

After the accident, I've noticed lots of things changed. I can watch open heart surgery on tv, but I cant watch them cut a person. I pass out if I get a shot or even get hurt bad. I definitley lost a lot of the "daring" part of me. I'm slowly getting some of it back, but its been a long mind game I've had to play with myself. Thats what you have to do though. The only reason your more afraid now is because of mind games your brain is playing. You basicaly have to face up to them and overcome them. Play mind games of your own. I'm not saying its a quick process or an easy one all the time, but its working for me.


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## mtnbikej (Sep 6, 2001)

Accidents happen.....you have to realize that. You crashed on an easy section, so now your confidence is a little shaken. 

Build your confidence back up. Start small and work your way up. 

In the last 20 months I have broken my Tib/Fib then just recently broke my Humerus, both on pretty smooth flowy sections.....just freak accidents. Took a little time with the broken leg to get my confidence back. Once I realized that it was healed, I progressively built my confidence back up. With my shoulder, it is still not 100% healed, so I am only back to about 85%. Once healed, I will be back to ridin the way I did before both injuries. 

You just have to trust yourself.


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## givati (Dec 5, 2011)

Good points. I've never considered myself a very good technical rider and now I'm more hesitant which is not good. I thought about taking a technique class. Or at least study technique on video then take yer advice and start implementing it on the trail bots at a time. I hate being tentative!


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## Pimpride (Nov 14, 2005)

Maybe get some new lower profile tires, maybe wider. Maybe get a new seat or some wider bars, something that sets it up a little more balanced. Or it least seems like it. Might give you a mental edge if it's set up a little differently. Maybe some new grips, a troll on the stem, something. Trick your mind into thinking your bike feels better than before. Good luck, have fun and ride hard but don't get to radical for a while.


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## cestfacile (Dec 17, 2011)

I feel like this too. I'm just going through the aftermath of a horrid crash which smashed up my front teeth and left me with severe whiplash. I'm eight weeks on and still got a long way to go. I love cycling but I don't know how I'll be when it comes to getting back on. My mother doesn't want me to at all! I do see her point but it's almost worse not to face up to it, somehow...


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## givati (Dec 5, 2011)

I know how you feel. My wife wasn't happy. She didn't forbid me to ride but every time I go out she gives me that look. And to be honest I don't need the look. I just don't want to go there again. But I don't want to stop riding either. I'm 54 and don't heal as quickly as I did and there seem to be more consequences to my injuries.
The injuries listed on this thread are intense. Damn guys!


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## dirtyjack (Jan 22, 2010)

According to this study, smoking a doobie before you ride will help you forget about your previous crash and focus on the here and now.

"Cannabis improves sleep and recovery after an event, reduces anxiety and fear and _aids the forgetting of negative events such as bad falls and so forth._"


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## happyriding (May 9, 2008)

Is mtb'ing worth the horrific injuries?


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## Ilikemtb999 (Oct 8, 2010)

Yep


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## WarBoom (Dec 13, 2011)

happyriding said:


> Is mtb'ing worth the horrific injuries?


Nope but neither is doing anything fun


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## cestfacile (Dec 17, 2011)

givati said:


> I know how you feel. My wife wasn't happy. She didn't forbid me to ride but every time I go out she gives me that look. And to be honest I don't need the look. I just don't want to go there again. But I don't want to stop riding either. I'm 54 and don't heal as quickly as I did and there seem to be more consequences to my injuries.
> The injuries listed on this thread are intense. Damn guys!


What did you do to yourself, givati? And how was the first time you got back on? My bike's still locked up at the hospital - don't think I'll want it back in the house until I'm fully healed. At the moment, I keep finding myself watching A&E programmes - they always seem to be full of spinal injuries! I think I have escaped with just whiplash, but until it is all better I still get wibbly watching these bits of shows.

This is the worst injury I've ever had - never had that split-second of thinking 'I'm not going to survive' this before. I'm 26 so I guess I probably heal faster than you, but sadly teeth don't regrow  Only bone that doesn't, blimmin' evolution!


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## NEPMTBA (Apr 7, 2007)

You know what they say about falling of a horse...

Just take it slow, cause naturally at first you'll be timid and confidence will take a while to gain back, but second guessing won't get it done. Just say to yourself over and over* "I'm a great rider"*, I can do this stuff, picture in your mind being a great rider and doing stuff.

I don't know how many times I ride with guys who right before they try something they say "I'm not gonna get this" Setting themselves up for failure before they even get going!

I don't even know ya, but I know you can do it! :thumbsup:

...get right back on and go again!


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## givati (Dec 5, 2011)

cestfacile said:


> What did you do to yourself, givati?


I just endo'd doing about 17it mph. Shoulder sep. And cracked ribs. Damn ribs are Friggin painful. First time I sneezed it dropped me to my knees. 
My first ride on single track after was a sad experience. Glad I was alone. Embarrassing. Ridding down a 8% grade you'd a thought I'd never ridden off road before.

And thanks for the encouragement NEP. I am better just not where I wanna be. I'm Workin really hard on conditioning and want to do the same with skills.

What do you guys think about doin a skills clinic? If I can find a cheap one.


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## Sol1 (Dec 14, 2011)

Had the same problem after breaking the collar bone and dislocating the shoulder. Fear of downhills has been a natural consequence, and not those technical rooty/rocky ones but those allowing you to go really fast and admire the landscape. 

Steady overcoming the fear worked in my case. By steady I mean not dropping yourself from the cliffs (I don't think the shock therapy would work here), but slowly raising the bar and being consequent. I also focused more on technique and generally, started riding more consciously. It paid off - I won't say the fear is completely gone, but it no longer deprives me of the joy of riding and I feel I am a better rider than before.

I wish you the same.

And remember - only stupid people do not fear (this is what we say in Poland, although this seems quite international ).


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## Danke (Sep 19, 2005)

I've dinged myself well a few times both riding and otherwise. I do find that I favor an injury for a while but I do work past it. 

Now I can't suggest this therapy will work for you but I have always found crashing again and not getting hurt to be a real confidence booster. Obviously the not getting hurt part is the real trick.


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## givati (Dec 5, 2011)

Danke said:


> Now I can't suggest this therapy will work for you but I have always found crashing again and not getting hurt to be a real confidence booster. Obviously the not getting hurt part is the real trick.


I bet yer right. Just really don't want to see if its true. 
I read the article posted by someone here called something like the art of the bail. Had some good things in there. Biggest to me was the idea of focus. I will purpose to focus every time I'm on the trail.


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## trodaq (Jun 11, 2011)

To answer your question. Yes I think a skills clinic would be of 
some benefit to you. It will get you back out doing your thing
On the trails while keepin your mind occupied. Just be upfront with
Them and explain what's happened.
Sounds like your suffering from PTSD or post traumatic stress. It's something
You can work through on your own, however it's up to you to decide. Search around
Online for more info. Local doctor , police and fire are usually well versed on the subject


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## Hugor (Aug 27, 2008)

Its not all bad really its just a more realistic understanding of whats at stake when you do have a big off.
I've had 3 big injuries and I still feel the consequences of all of them.
My advice would be to keep the riding about fitness and enjoyment rather than the adrenaline and progression.
Its been 2 years since my last injury and I'm probably a better technical rider than before, but at the same time I'm not afraid to walk anything that I'm not entirely happy with.
I don't enjoy riding at the limit of control anymore but there's still alot of great riding to be had within my comfort zones.
It may take me many months of studying and walking a section before giving it a go but so what.
Personally I think you need to let your head settle before going on a skills course - I don't think you'll get alot out of it unless your happy to be pushed beyond your fears which are the greatest limiting things at the moment rather than your skills.
Good luck I'm watching this thread with interest.
I have a thread in here called "when is it time to give it up?" when I was going through the same emotions as you after a big injury.


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## Danke (Sep 19, 2005)

givati said:


> I bet yer right. Just really don't want to see if its true.
> I read the article posted by someone here called something like the art of the bail. Had some good things in there. Biggest to me was the idea of focus. I will purpose to focus every time I'm on the trail.


Any chance of finding a foam pit where you live? That will let you come crashing down with reduced chances of injury. You can still clipped by your bike but it's maybe worth looking into. Even if you're an XC rider vs. a jumper etc. just go throw yourself in a few times till you feel less edgy.


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## givati (Dec 5, 2011)

Hugor said:


> My advice would be to keep the riding about fitness and enjoyment rather than the adrenaline and progression.
> Its been 2 years since my last injury and I'm probably a better technical rider than before, but at the same time I'm not afraid to walk anything that I'm not entirely happy with.
> I don't enjoy riding at the limit of control anymore but there's still alot of great riding to be had within my comfort zones.


Great advice! I have tossed this around in my head and talked about this very thing with my wife. Its when I get around my riding buddies that I begin to question my resolve. They are all much younger than me by 10 years and more and none of them have had a crash like mine and I really hope they don't. I must say that I really enjoy the fitness aspect of riding as well. And hopefully I don't sound like a giant braggart but none of them can stay with me on the climbs. They just don't ride as much as me that's all.

I must say though that I have always (even before the crash) wanted to be a better technical rider though, its my weakest point, having said that I must keep the attitude of restraint ongoing.


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## lalondtm (Dec 21, 2011)

sorry to hear about that


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## Hugor (Aug 27, 2008)

givati said:


> I must say though that I have always (even before the crash) wanted to be a better technical rider though, its my weakest point, having said that I must keep the attitude of restraint ongoing.


Everybody wants to be a better technical rider.
I see so many trail features that I can't ride - jumps, big drops, steep rocky chutes, skinny shore stuff etc.
I ride with people that take all these a lines whilst I ride around them.
In time I have slowly taken some of these things on and its usually been when I was on my own and I've sessioned it for a while at my own pace.
There are any I still won't do and will never do. The thrill vs risk ratio is not favourable.
I've come to terms with that.
You probably have greater responsibilities than your 10 years younger mates and you have tasted the consequences of injury.
Hopefully their time will never come but i they do hurt them self badly most people will go through what you are right now.
Being laid up for 3 months a year with no money and straining relationships is no laughing matter.


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## givati (Dec 5, 2011)

True that!


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## Hooch (Jun 30, 2006)

australians have a phrase HTFU or harden the fark up. strange people the australians but the pschye bred into them is that if you fall down, pick yourself up and keep on trucking. no one else is going to help you but yourself.
get back on your bike, start slowly, baby steps and rebuild your confidence, find easy tracks to ride, ride around the streets and slowly slowly get the confidence back. Or to a level you are comfortable with.
you may not want to do screaming DH runs,but there are pleny of fun tracks around that aren't as technical or as dangerous, aim for one of them.
set goals and milestones.


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## givati (Dec 5, 2011)

Speaking of screaming DH. I just watched "Life Cycles". Damn, if that isn't motivating her dead. And yer right hooch. One step at a time. I'll get there. There, meaning where I'm comfortable.


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## mickeydesadist (Oct 15, 2007)

I fractured my heel into many parts, twisted the same ankle (left) and broke my left arm an inch below the shoulder joint so they couldnt give me a cast. My left side didnt work and I could only take a few steps for 5 months. My wife took good care of me an wheelchaired me around for this time and my riding buddy took brought me vids and the LBS (PIERIKS) mech would come over and hang out. Good meds fron my Doc and Surgeon kept me in comfort. I am 54 and am back into AM harder than ever before. 
What I'm trying to do is give tribute to all of my mates, my family and my silly cat Shadow who kept my spirits up during this time. My fellow riders took me to a real wild spot first time out, freaked me out and brought me back to the point where I say GET OFF YOU ASS AND RIDE, Youve done it befire now do it better, And yes - I went to whwere it all happened and confronted the situation and got my groove back.
Thanks to my wife Pam , my buddy Greg, my LBS Pieriks Cycle Paul. My Dr.Sam My Surgeon Drm Sadler. The members of my workplace.
I was told that when you are thankful - you are powerful. They inspired me to reclaim my power.
Thanks Again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## cestfacile (Dec 17, 2011)

Well done on getting back on! I don't know how I'm going to handle it when I get to that stage yet, hopefully will take strength from all your stories.


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## carter1 (Jan 30, 2004)

I had an A/C separation Nov 2010, surgery last February 28th, basically missed a year of "real" riding, after 45 years on bikes. I turned 50 with a shaved armpit and my shoulder strapped to my chest last April. Lots of physical and mental pain in the past 15 months. I can't get it back either. Not only am I tentative, but just don't really want to ride anymore. I've bailed on 2 rides in the past couple of months after about a 1/2 mile because I wasn't having any fun at all. Hopefully I'll get some motivation back. I have the support of a lot of friends, my wife and daughter, which is nice, but doesn't seem to be working. Kinda sucks, as I have a brand new tandem hanging in the garage. If you figure a cure, let me know.
c


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## Julie (Jul 26, 2005)

*Mental recovery after an injury*

I have found that the mates you ride with make a big difference in how you feel about getting back into riding after a bad injury. If it is a competitive group..and they think "support" for your recovery is all about encouraging you to get back and ride the same way you did before...well it may be better to find another bunch..especially if you are older than they are. They will never relate to your situation until they are actually in it...aging, more easily hurt, and slower to heal. 
Also it seems there are really two sorts of mt bikers...the ones who are in it for the challenge, thrills and competition, and the ones who just love the singletrack trails, nature, and comraderie of sharing the glorious beauty and fantastic exercise. I am one of the second group..and after fracturing my femur in a crash at the age of 60, I'm back doing ALMOST everything I did before, 2 1/2 years later, and very happy about it. I've slowed down a bit and get off and walk a few more things...but the flowers and trees and mountains and lakes and streams and wildlife are still there and just as glorious.
But if I were with people who found any trail that wasn't filled with rock drops and exposure was "boring", I'd need to move on.


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## JackStephen (Jun 29, 2010)

Carter1, I'm sorry to hear that. How is it that your AC separation has taken so long to heal?

Well, it's been a month since my AC separation. It came with a blow in the head and I can't really remember what happen. The good thing: No memories of the accident (I can't even remember how painful it was) = nothing to be afraid of. The bad thing: I can't remember what went wrong, was it me? the bike? the terrain? everything together? This "uncertainity" is what is holding me back. Obviusly I don't want to crash -this bad- again.

So far my doctor says I'm doing good, just started PT and he thinks in 3 weeks I'll be able to ride again (slowly). I'm waiting for a hardtail frame to build a lighter bike, hopefully the lack of rear suspension will slow me while I heal completely. 

Let's see what happens when I seat behind a handlebar...


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## xcguy (Apr 18, 2004)

Well, givati, you have to look at it as pertains to your age. I never gave a second thought to getting injured when I was younger, had pretty decent nerve even though I was still kinda slow.

I got older, I started crashing more and getting injured more and I lost my nerve like you did. I ride a bit around the neighborhood just get in some saddle time but I'm at peace with not going nuts on single track. The slower the better is what I say. Not even 17 mph.

It is not written that you have to keep riding. There will be replies from folks here who have been hurt bad again and again and keep coming back. Well, good for them. They are not you nor have your own personal priorities. If staying in one piece starts being a top priority and not riding singletrack is a way to attain that, so be it.


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## carter1 (Jan 30, 2004)

JackStephen said:


> Carter1, I'm sorry to hear that. How is it that your AC separation has taken so long to heal?
> 
> Well, it's been a month since my AC separation. It came with a blow in the head and I can't really remember what happen. The good thing: No memories of the accident (I can't even remember how painful it was) = nothing to be afraid of. The bad thing: I can't remember what went wrong, was it me? the bike? the terrain? everything together? This "uncertainity" is what is holding me back. Obviusly I don't want to crash -this bad- again.
> 
> ...


I did PT for 3 months in hopes of not having to have surgery, but after the 3 months, everyone (me, lastly) that there just wasn't anything left to hold it together. Fear was probably the thing that slowed me down the most. In addition, life happens, time priorities change, etc. I'm getting motivated to spend more time on my road bike to re-gain my fitness, and lets face it, fitness makes up for lots of mtb skills!. Part of my issue is that I never minded waiting on folks, just don't like being waited on, which is my current situation. I have a great crew that I've ridden with for 10 years, they're getting me back out more and more. Didn't mean to be a downer, 
pedal more,
c


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