# Check Out This Frickin Dork!



## Veloculture (Dec 18, 2005)

here is the only race photo i ever bought. ever. it's the only photo i even have to prove i ever raced i think. i was 15 years old on a 1986 Fisher Procaliber that was 2 sizes too big.

at this point i was still a road and track racer and doing the mountain bike thing for training. i won this race and many others and lost all my road races. the switch to mountain bike racing was pretty easy at that point. once i got a good fitting bike i was off like a tornado and a quick burn out 

yes, those are Bolle's.

yes, i was once lean. 130lbs.

yes, i have a mullet

yes, i had shaved legs in Jr high school.

no, people did not kick my A$$ for having shaved legs. i lived in LA. that kind of thing wasn't so odd 

yes, i was about to level the bike out (he took the photo too early). aparently only 3 racers that day got any kind of air so the photographer wasn't prepared for waiting until the bike leveled out. when i was very young airing out BMX bikes was my thing. i swear i was born on a bike. i love these things.


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## kb11 (Mar 29, 2004)

Kids always doing wheelies  My 1st and last pic I ever paid for from Mammoth. Dont need to be reminded how slow I was


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## Rumpfy (Dec 21, 2003)

Aw hey....it's not that bad.
















Dork.


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## bushpig (Nov 26, 2005)

Sky: Awesome shoes. I always broke the soles eventually, but liked 'em while they lasted.

Here's me with the same shoes, same weight, same shaved legs but two years older and wearing a Unicorn helmet because my Pig helmet got busted. Race is Canada Cup 3 at Canmore.

[edit] I didn't and don't get air, gnarly or otherwise.


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## mwr (Jul 17, 2004)

Awesome pics. Great desktop material.


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## Veloculture (Dec 18, 2005)

thats what i hate about that photo. everybody thinks i'm doing a wheelie. i got air! really! ya gotta believe me!


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## Jeroen (Jan 12, 2004)

This is the only photo I ever bought, shot during a race. This was the ONKSS, translated to the Open Dutch Nation Singlespeed Championship, were the majority of riders were (oddly enough!) from Germany ;-)

(Hi fella's!) This was in '04, so the photo nor the race are 'vintage'.


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## Fillet-brazed (Jan 13, 2004)

Nice pic Sky. I did that same race series with Mike Johns as the promoter who stiffed us our money.  Where are you Mike?

Which race was this from?

I really didnt know you could "pop a wheelie" like that. 

I'll have to dig up some of my old pics.


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## fsp (Feb 15, 2006)

Veloculture said:


> here is the only race photo i ever bought...


Jeez, the only photos I have of myself are from when I was young. This is the least embarrassing. I'd just picked up our teams (my) new (old) van, & hadn't yet covered it in stickers...


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## shiggy (Dec 19, 1998)

Me from about 1987


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## Veloculture (Dec 18, 2005)

that was a long time ago but i think it might have been the downhill race at Julian. later that day was the 3 dirt crit races (first, second and then third place). then on Sunday was the regular cross country (food poisoning sidelined me). 

i did only 3 or 4 of the 7 total Mike Johns Cal State Championships that year so i wasn't able to pull out a very good overall but still i think i got 4th or 5th or something like that. i was a poor racer with no support whatsoever. traveling was difficult.


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## ssmike (Jan 21, 2004)

*another frickin dork*

I think this was 1987 at the Sorrento Cyclocross. Chuck's in the background on a really sweet green Salsa that was the template for the old Bridgestone MB-2.


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## mwr (Jul 17, 2004)

Beanpole! 

I am really digging on these pics.


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## ssmike (Jan 21, 2004)

mwr said:


> Beanpole!


LOL - at least I don't look like Martha Kennedy (see back to Sky's photo)


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## Veloculture (Dec 18, 2005)

ssmike said:


> LOL - at least I don't look like Martha Kennedy (see back to Sky's photo)


hey, wait a minute. Matt rips on you so you decide to rip on me? bag on Matts afro or something. leave my girly good looks out of this. after seeing you ugly monkeys i'm feeling much better about myself. i'm pretty darn handsome next to you beatniks


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## bushpig (Nov 26, 2005)

*Trialsin*

I didn't just race either. Check out this rad trialsin shot. Note the reduction in probability of having children and old school cycling shoes.


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## ssmike (Jan 21, 2004)

Veloculture said:


> hey, wait a minute. Matt rips on you so you decide to rip on me? bag on Matts afro or something. leave my girly good looks out of this. after seeing you ugly monkeys i'm feeling much better about myself. i'm pretty darn handsome next to you beatniks


Handsome or cute. There's a big difference 

Next we can check out Jeroen's photo - say Jeroen, are those shorts standard length? They're about a couple inches from becoming knickers.


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## Jeroen (Jan 12, 2004)

ssmike said:


> Handsome or cute. There's a big difference
> 
> Next we can check out Jeroen's photo - say Jeroen, are those shorts standard length? They're about a couple inches from becoming knickers.


Aaaa.. put a sock in it Mike!!! (Not in them knickers!)


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## pinguwin (Aug 20, 2004)

*Racing in Duluth, MN*

Even though I had been biking for many years before this picture was taken in August of 1990, I have very few earlier pictures. This is at the Spirit Mtn. race with the harbor of Duluth in the background. There are lots of places to ride there and the the entire city is on a steep hill.

This particular race was a so-so design. It started off by going a dusty ski hill. Not only was the entire pack screaming out of the start instead of going uphill and getting spread out, but by the bottom of the hill, visibility was non-existent and everyone who was behind the leader, eyes hurt.

I remember that water bottle. It was a hot day and I dropped the bottle just before the finish. For some reason, must have been on autopilot, I stopped to pick it up. D'oh! A number of people passed me and it was only a quarter mile to the finish. I passed some of them up on a flat area but then got to a downhill and took the inside turn and passed up two of them in an extreme sprint. I don't think they expected me to take off so fast, but they were off in hot pursuit.

I was putting out more than I thought possible and had one guy left with fifty uphill yards left. I went for it and the crowd was yellling in excitement. I could see the judges getting ready for a close finish and I pulled ahead by less than half a wheel. I heard them yell, "Penguins got it!" So I had won by barely a nose (beak?). I was so exhausted and rolled off into the tall grass and knelt down. The judge came over to me and I told him to get away from me. "I just need your number." "Get away." "Why?" "Because I'm about to lose it." I got a bad case of the dry heaves and he beat a hasty and well-advised retreat.

Well, that's the story of that picture.

'Guin


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## SlowerThenSnot (Jul 16, 2004)

*Is that a*

A Project2 your riding there? Those look like 700c rims...



bushpig said:


> Sky: Awesome shoes. I always broke the soles eventually, but liked 'em while they lasted.
> 
> Here's me with the same shoes, same weight, same shaved legs but two years older and wearing a Unicorn helmet because my Pig helmet got busted. Race is Canada Cup 3 at Canmore.
> 
> [edit] I didn't and don't get air, gnarly or otherwise.


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## Rumpfy (Dec 21, 2003)

bushpig said:


> I didn't just race either. Check out this rad trialsin shot. Note the reduction in probability of having children and old school cycling shoes.


I see a 'dab' comin'.


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## Rumpfy (Dec 21, 2003)

mwr said:


> Beanpole!
> 
> I am really digging on these pics.


You got any to share there bucko?

...yeah, I thought not.


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## Rumpfy (Dec 21, 2003)

pinguwin said:


> Even though I had been biking for many years before this picture was taken in August of 1990, I have very few earlier pictures. This is at the Spirit Mtn. race with the harbor of Duluth in the background. There are lots of places to ride there and the the entire city is on a steep hill.
> 
> Well, that's the story of that picture.
> 
> 'Guin


Just tell me you don't tuck your t-shirts into your lycra like that any more!


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## mwr (Jul 17, 2004)

Rumpfy said:


> You got any to share there bucko?
> ...yeah, I thought not.


Honestly I don't have many mountain biking pics at all. I have a lot of BMX & MX pics somewhere but that's something else.


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## Rumpfy (Dec 21, 2003)

Ok...

Even in 97....full rigid, thumb shifters, and first gen Shimano SPD shoes. Handlebars are 19" wide.
Any anyone who's ever ridden with me...still white cotton t-shirts and yes...those shorts are flannel.

Peace man.




























Can you say 'Dead Sailor'. Don't worry, I pulled it off.


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## Fillet-brazed (Jan 13, 2004)

Love that kilt in the first shot.


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## Jeroen (Jan 12, 2004)

And yet again Rumpf amazes me with his appearance. Got give some credit for the guy... Love your socks too...


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## ssmike (Jan 21, 2004)

Rumpfy said:


> I see a 'dab' comin'.


Yeah, but with which appendage?


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## mwr (Jul 17, 2004)

ssmike said:


> Yeah, but with which appendage?


Rumpfy dabs with his teeth.


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## Rumpfy (Dec 21, 2003)

Jeroen said:


> And yet again Rumpf amazes me with his appearance. Got give some credit for the guy... Love your socks too...


Hey...it was 'cool' at the time.


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## Rumpfy (Dec 21, 2003)

mwr said:


> Rumpfy dabs with his teeth.


That's true. You can see the mark my two front teeth left....one year anniversary is coming up of that lovely day.


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## bushpig (Nov 26, 2005)

SlowerThenSnot said:


> A Project2 your riding there? Those look like 700c rims...


I thought it was called a Project 7. It was the top end Project bike - a 29er pioneer?


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## Jeroen (Jan 12, 2004)

Rumpfy said:


> That's true. You can see the mark my two front teeth left....one year anniversary is coming up of that lovely day.
> 
> https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v309/rumpfy/MTB/Misc MTB/teethtobar.jpg


Ouch! That one 's gotta hurt!


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## Rumpfy (Dec 21, 2003)

Jeroen said:


> Ouch! That one 's gotta hurt!


It didn't hurt so much as it did surprise me....

Nowth they're a bit chipped and I haveth a hard time withhhh my 't'hhh's

My perfect face is ruined!


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## WTB-rider (Jul 25, 2004)

ssmike said:


> Handsome or cute. There's a big difference
> 
> Next we can check out Jeroen's photo - say Jeroen, are those shorts standard length? They're about a couple inches from becoming knickers.


My shorts are about that length too, better than the hot pants Penguin is wearing  And no, there are no race photos of me in full JT Bonehead gear with matching helmet cover 

BTW, Veloculture and Martha Kennedy were definately separated at birth. 

Launch the attacks!


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## Veloculture (Dec 18, 2005)

i'm at a total loss here. i'm being ragged on and i dont even know who this Kennedy person is.


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## shiggy (Dec 19, 1998)

ssmike said:


> LOL - at least I don't look like Martha Kennedy (see back to Sky's photo)


 I had forgotten about Martha. There is a resemblance!


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## pinguwin (Aug 20, 2004)

*Rumpfy, you're breaking my heart...*

When I saw that response in the email notification, I thought you were talking about one of the certified dorks somewhere above my post...not me. Though tucking in my shirt, that would explain a definitive lack of dates, hmmm.......

One race after the Spirit Mountain race, I placed fourth in expert class in my fourth race. I went to see my friends who worked at a restaurant owned by a guy who had four eateries in the area. They said, "Hey John, he got fourth in expert. You should sponsor him." He talked to me about racing for a few minutes and out of the blue offered me a sponsorship and told me to get a shirt made. I wasn't sure how he would react to me getting a custom airbrushed shirt with his business name on the back and Team Moosepoop on the front. He loved it.

I've now got 4 custom airbrushed shirts, all emblazoned with the Team Moosepoop moniker and am looking at getting another one or two made. So, I don't have my shirt tucked in (no comments about the lack of riding shorts), but do I still qualify as a dork?

'Guin


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## pinguwin (Aug 20, 2004)

*Oh boy*



WTB-rider said:


> My shorts are about that length too, better than the hot pants Penguin is wearing


Oh boy, am I going to hear about this one....


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## bushpig (Nov 26, 2005)

pinguwin said:


> Oh boy, am I going to hear about this one....


Subtle!


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## Veloculture (Dec 18, 2005)

pinguwin said:


> Oh boy, am I going to hear about this one....


is that Team Moose Knuckle?


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## Rumpfy (Dec 21, 2003)

pinguwin said:


> When I saw that response in the email notification, I thought you were talking about one of the certified dorks somewhere above my post...not me. Though tucking in my shirt, that would explain a definitive lack of dates, hmmm.......
> I've now got 4 custom airbrushed shirts, all emblazoned with the Team Moosepoop moniker and am looking at getting another one or two made. So, I don't have my shirt tucked in (no comments about the lack of riding shorts), but do I still qualify as a dork?
> 
> 'Guin


Well there you go....I was placing at the back of the back in beginner class....so who am I to judge! 

I'm trying not to say anything about that second picture.


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## rryyddeerr (Oct 4, 2005)

*Im going to try to take something from all of this.*



pinguwin said:


> Oh boy, am I going to hear about this one....


Im *never* going to let anyone take my picture in cycling apparel ever again. No matter what it is, in ten years itll all look as dazzling as these brave fellows here. I hope im *dead* before neon bikes come back into fashion.

Sincerely,
Future Goofball (or just Goofball?)


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## pinguwin (Aug 20, 2004)

*Not quite head to toe*



rryyddeerr said:


> I hope im *dead* before neon bikes come back into fashion


Rryyddeerr:

I'm not quite covered head to toe in mud like you, but I'm pretty deep up to the middle.

My neon-colored Klein (long may they live) got toasted that day and I couldn't ride. A guy who was going to be handing out water saw me dawdling about two miles from the start and asked why I wasn't racing. He said, "Take my bike and race." I replied, "You don't now if you'll ever see me again." "Take my bike and race." It was a $1800 American Comp-Lite, pictured below, so he was a person with faith in me. So I rush to the start with a minute to spare where they were giving the pre-race talk. A race official was pinning a number tag to the back of my jersey while I was in the starting gate. The other racers all looked at me oddly wondering where my usual bike was. I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

I was in the top three to top five when I broke a chain. It hadn't been lubed since the muddy race the previous weekend (where we looked like rryyddeerr), got chainsuck, and the chain snapped. I've never dropped out of a race and wasn't about to start. So I started pushing with nine miles left. Eventually I was in last place and the race judges on a four-wheeler offered me a ride. I declined as I was going to finish under my own power. So I continued along, walking, running, paddling, and coasting on the downhills. One of the officials said, "Hey, you aren't muddy enough!" So I jumped into the puddle. They weren't expecting that. Neither was I. The day sucked, but I made the best of it and laughed about it. They held up the awards ceremony until I crossed the line, which was quite an honor. They waited until everyone, even last place, finished.

Since 1990, I've ridden neon colored bikes and I've got a multitude of weird tights and airbrushed jerseys. Even worse, the bike pictured above was custom painted. Yes, it was intentional. My next bike will also be custom and even brighter. 

Long may they live.

Penguin


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## bulletbob (Apr 5, 2004)

*still have a pair...*



Veloculture said:


> yes, those are Bolle's


...of those Bolle's in a box if you want 'em!


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## Rumpfy (Dec 21, 2003)

kb11 said:


> Kids always doing wheelies  My 1st and last pic I ever paid for from Mammoth. Dont need to be reminded how slow I was


I don't think you've aged a bit in 11 years!


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## datawhacker (Dec 23, 2004)

It doesn't look like the end of a 20+ mile race, but it is. Shiggy might recognize it:


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## shiggy (Dec 19, 1998)

datawhacker said:


> It doesn't look like the end of a 20+ mile race, but it is. Shiggy might recognize it:


 That must be Oakridge!


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## datawhacker (Dec 23, 2004)

Yep. It was one of the years when the race ended on the fitness trail.


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## WTB-rider (Jul 25, 2004)

pinguwin said:


> Oh boy, am I going to hear about this one....


The paint job is dynamite. The riding gear...for one of the few times in my life I'm speechless.


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## dirtdrop (Dec 29, 2003)

Veloculture said:


> yes, i have a mullet


A hippie in the making!


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## pinguwin (Aug 20, 2004)

*Sorry, had to do this...*



WTB-rider said:


> The paint job is dynamite. The riding gear...for one of the few times in my life I'm speechless.


One of these days, I'll post some photos of the bike, but had to post one last picture of a true, dyed-in-wool-jersey dork. I just took this picture, so give me some credit as it's near zero outside, but when you said you were speechless, it reminded me of a time I stopped during a ride at a friend's house with these tights on. I bound into her living room and say "Yo Alice-Woman!" There was a guy there who looked absolutely mortified, I looked at him and said "Oh, hi." Later Alice said, "That was great, what you did to my son!" I didn't do anything, he just sat there." She replied "Yeah, that's what I mean. I've never seen my conservative, ******* son absolutely, completely speechless until now. He wasn't quite sure what to make of you."

And Rryyddeerr, just had to tell you, your post really made laugh!

'Guin


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## fsp (Feb 15, 2006)

pinguwin said:


> ...a true, dyed-in-wool-jersey dork...


Lookin good Penguin!  I thought that said Moose Poof... hehe...

But alright, seeing as how we're ditching our pride:

https://brutalartistry.com/ZZ9PluralZAlpha/VintageFSP/Chequamegon-24.jpg
https://brutalartistry.com/ZZ9PluralZAlpha/VintageFSP/Chequamegon-26.jpg
https://brutalartistry.com/ZZ9PluralZAlpha/VintageFSP/Chequamegon-25.jpg
https://brutalartistry.com/ZZ9PluralZAlpha/VintageFSP/Chequamegon-28.jpg
https://brutalartistry.com/ZZ9PluralZAlpha/VintageFSP/TheFuel.jpg

91 or 92 Chequamegon. Lied about my age to get in. Came in around 40th. ...out of 1200. Felt pretty good!


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## WTB-rider (Jul 25, 2004)

pinguwin said:


> One of these days, I'll post some photos of the bike, but had to post one last picture of a true, dyed-in-wool-jersey dork. I just took this picture, so give me some credit as it's near zero outside, but when you said you were speechless, it reminded me of a time I stopped during a ride at a friend's house with these tights on. I bound into her living room and say "Yo Alice-Woman!" There was a guy there who looked absolutely mortified, I looked at him and said "Oh, hi." Later Alice said, "That was great, what you did to my son!" I didn't do anything, he just sat there." She replied "Yeah, that's what I mean. I've never seen my conservative, ******* son absolutely, completely speechless until now. He wasn't quite sure what to make of you."
> 
> And Rryyddeerr, just had to tell you, your post really made laugh!
> 
> 'Guin


Wow! How "hair band" of you!!! 

I actually had a pair of pink/black zebra tights back in the late eighties, what a freakin' sight I was  I came across them about a year ago and decided to throw 'em on for old time's sake but they disintegrated as I pulled them on.


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## jasonwa2 (Oct 28, 2004)

pinguwin said:


> One of these days, I'll post some photos of the bike
> 
> 'Guin


Already got it...


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## geoffss (Mar 23, 2004)

*wheres my two dollars?*

you look like River Phoenix.

and like a total hacky-sack kicking dirtbag hippie. 

if that was '97 then when did you stop racing beginner? 



Rumpfy said:


> Ok...
> 
> Even in 97....full rigid, thumb shifters, and first gen Shimano SPD shoes. Handlebars are 19" wide.
> Any anyone who's ever ridden with me...still white cotton t-shirts and yes...those shorts are flannel.
> ...


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## fsp (Feb 15, 2006)

geoffss said:


> ...beginner...


Beginner? In 97? Ohhhh ER! Didn't know you were such a noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooobster.

1993!

https://www.brutalartistry.com/ZZ9PluralZAlpha/VintageFSP/Chequamegon92-TheRollout.jpg

See me? See? Right there, yeah. I'm in the pink flamingos jersey, sucking exhaust fumes out of a quad, and still keeping up with a bunch of pros!... You better enjoy kicking my sorry butt now, cause I'd have kiiiiiiiiilled you back then! See how faaaast I am? And styyyylish, in all my lycra?

   Yeah, they kicked my ass good & hard shortly after the quad took off...


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## bushpig (Nov 26, 2005)

fsp said:


> Beginner? In 97? Ohhhh ER! Didn't know you were such a noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooobster.
> 
> 1993!
> 
> ...


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The requested URL https:// was not found on this server.


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## Rumpfy (Dec 21, 2003)

Cut me some slack!

I placed 99th out of 101 people that year. It took me 8 years of work to move up to a 5th place finish in that class.

Now I'm back to 99th out of 101 in Sport class. 

Although there's a big gap in there from 97 to 2002/3 where I wasn't racing at all.


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## Rev. Gusto (Mar 3, 2004)

Mission Control Stem
Posted a thread a few minutes ago about parts sought and why. SoCal shop called Europa Cycles in Van Nuys has a silver Mission Control setup hanging on the wall. Price tag says $149, but like the bars, it's been there awhile.


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## Williwoods (May 3, 2004)

this is why the vrc forum is the best on mtbr cause on all the other forums no one would have the sheer balls to post some of these amazingly embarrasing photos. everyone else just posts here pics of check out my bikes better than yours photos. but here you are all trying to show whos the biggest dork. let me tell you I can not match the dorkiness here. I used to think to myself why I never took pics of me and my bikes from way back but forget it I am way glad I dont have any so I cannot prove I am in fact a bigger dork than the rest of you.

Will

damn hilarious and to think I am here browsing for vintage bikes but get this instead


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## geoffss (Mar 23, 2004)

*career beginner!*

i will race with you and get 100th, just so you can feel better 



Rumpfy said:


> Cut me some slack!
> 
> I placed 99th out of 101 people that year. It took me 8 years of work to move up to a 5th place finish in that class.
> 
> ...


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## Rumpfy (Dec 21, 2003)

Williwoods said:


> this is why the vrc forum is the best on mtbr cause on all the other forums no one would have the sheer balls to post some of these amazingly embarrasing photos. everyone else just posts here pics of check out my bikes better than yours photos. but here you are all trying to show whos the biggest dork. let me tell you I can not match the dorkiness here. I used to think to myself why I never took pics of me and my bikes from way back but forget it I am way glad I dont have any so I cannot prove I am in fact a bigger dork than the rest of you.
> 
> Will
> 
> damn hilarious and to think I am here browsing for vintage bikes but get this instead


Boo! Post. A. Picture!

Pinguin's got the king dork honors locked up.


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## Rumpfy (Dec 21, 2003)

geoffss said:


> i will race with you and get 100th, just so you can feel better


Sounds like a plan.


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## pinguwin (Aug 20, 2004)

Rumpfy said:


> Pinguin's got the king dork honors locked up.


Rumpfy, somehow you've managed to capture my entire life story in two sentences. I'm not sure whether to congratulate you or go crawl under a rock and not let anyone within rifle shot.

Time to ride.

'Guin


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## whangen (Jan 18, 2006)

*We have a winner!!!!!!!!*



pinguwin said:


> Oh boy, am I going to hear about this one....


My retinas are still seeing those colors, even with my eyes closed !  . Strawberry fields forever.


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## zaxxon (Feb 23, 2004)

pinguwin said:


> Oh boy, am I going to hear about this one....


Oh damn, thats like posting nudes of your wife. You just don't do it. Here anyway.


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