# Sooo hard to talk to biker ladys



## kbahus (Sep 11, 2005)

I see all of these cute ladys on the trails all the time except they are either flying by me or visa-versa. All I can ever get out is a quick "hi". How lame is that. I am to the point of desperation here, perhaps I should take a digger infront of the next and see if she stops to help or runs me over. Do any of you ladys have any suggestions on meeting girls on the trail? It sure would be nice to have a female companion to go mountain biking with


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## verslowrdr (Mar 22, 2004)

*Simple.*

Wear lipstick, a short skirt, and stop to stick your leg out & wiggle a fancy Sidi at the girls going by.

Let us know how it goes.


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## donkey (Jan 14, 2004)

Brace yourself.....

Someone pass the popcorn please.

Oh, one more thing....you might check in with that BikerFox character. He seems to have a way with the ladies. www.bikerfox.com

B


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

verslowrdr said:


> Wear lipstick, a short skirt, and stop to stick your leg out & wiggle a fancy Sidi at the girls going by.
> 
> Let us know how it goes.


you think? I was thinking he needed to get rid of the unibrow.


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## kbahus (Sep 11, 2005)

formica said:


> you think? I was thinking he needed to get rid of the unibrow.


I shave the unibrow!


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

Where's that classic pick-up line that Hello Kitty suggested? I think it goes, "Which one of you baby-makers wants to swallow my love pudding?" 

I believe a few couples got married as a result of that one.


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## sarahk (May 25, 2004)

Christine said:


> Where's that classic pick-up line that Hello Kitty suggested? I think it goes, "Which one of you baby-makers wants to swallow my love pudding?"
> 
> I believe a few couples got married as a result of that one.


That was Catzilla. Hilarious.


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## antonio (Jan 18, 2005)

bro -think about it. just like men, women hit the trails to ride, not to get picked up. . . just doesn't make sense. 

i suggest you go on group rides, hit some of the after-ride hang out spots (bars, diners, bbq's, etc.), be cool, and make friends. maybe you'll find a biker lady interested in you romantically, maybe you won't, but at least you're better exposing yourself to the possibility of it happening naturally. just don't force picking someone up at the trail. it's a waste of good riding time.


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## vermont (Jul 20, 2004)

*good advice for ya....maybe*



kbahus said:


> I shave the unibrow!


as a general rule women don't care to get "picked up" makes em feel cheap and who wants to tell your new in-laws how you met 

but really now; if you want to have a serious "girl-friend" you gotta have some girl.....friends.... as antonio says...goto group rides and hang out after. If you come highly recommended by her girlfriends as a "cool guy" gettin a phone # and a date is a breeze bro.


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## zenmonkey (Nov 21, 2004)

donkey said:


> Brace yourself.....
> 
> Someone pass the popcorn please.
> 
> B


Here you go, got your hazmat suit on?


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## Cat's Pajamas (Sep 9, 2005)

Wear a shirt that says, "Mustache rides 5 cents"


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## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

verslowrdr said:


> Wear lipstick, a short skirt, and stop to stick your leg out & wiggle a fancy Sidi at the girls going by.
> 
> Let us know how it goes.


And if you'er lucky like me, they'll stop and hold your middle leg for you while you do your business. I never thought of wearing a skirt though. That's a good idea! 

But seriously, as others have said, women aren't riding to be picked up or chatted up. Just be friendly, genuinely friendly, not horny friendly, and maybe you'll be lucky enough to be invited to ride with them.


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## brownieinSC (Apr 19, 2004)

*Lmao*



Cat's Pajamas said:


> Wear a shirt that says, "Mustache rides 5 cents"


That might do the trick. This other quote had me laughing and grossed out at the same time. 
"Which one of you baby-makers wants to swallow my love pudding?"

Thank god I am already married to a nice biker guy.


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## verslowrdr (Mar 22, 2004)

"Ach! 'Tis no more than what God gave me, you puritan pukes!"*










* I REALLY wanted to get a pic of his kilt lifted, but couldn't find one..... sorry....


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## Dwight Moody (Jan 10, 2004)

verslowrdr said:


> "Ach! 'Tis no more than what God gave me, you puritan pukes!"*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ever see the episode where Lunchlady Doris lathers him with grease? Hot.


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## Guest (Sep 14, 2005)

i had a nice conversation with a girl that passed me last weekend on the trail. i sucked up on her wheel and we were talking for a bit. we were talking about how well my wife was riding (she was about 25 yards behind me) and then we both chose bad lines through a rough section. both of us wound up walking it and then my wife chugged by us still riding. 

if you make nice and talk to the people around you on the trail, it seems that eventually you could meet one that shows some interest.


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## serious (Jan 25, 2005)

I cannot imagine a worse environment to pick up ladies than on the trail. The only realistic option is to get yourself into a mountain bike club and go from there. But don't spoil a good ride. The pickup time is after the ride, when everyone is socializing.

I am married so I have no such worries, but I hardly ever see ladies on the trails I ride. In fact, if I was ever to depend on that environment to meet ladies, I would probably still be a virgin.


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## mahgnillig (Mar 12, 2004)

I'd imagine that the women you meet on the trail are there for riding, not for being picked up by some guy. If you really want to start a conversation, try the trailhead after the ride when they're not trying to concentrate on that big ol' tree that's coming up. If there's one person in particular that you think you'd like to meet, keep some spare beer/Gatorade/water in a cooler in your car and offer her a cold drink at the end of a ride... just don't be creepy or stalkerish about it. I know plenty of times I'd be totally grateful for a nice gesture like that... it's a good conversation starter at any rate, then the rest is down to your charm or lack thereof.

- Jen.


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## dirtmistress (Sep 2, 2005)

We had a nudge in our club that blabbed like a broken record, hit on women, made excuses when he didnt clean a section. He was avoided like the plague. Moron. 
Look, join a club, keep your mouth shut, compliment when neccessary.."good job". 
Fall down and weep like a sensitive, vulnerable guy and buy the drinks all around. Howzat?


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## Lutarious (Feb 8, 2005)

*Rules have exceptions*

I was resting at the topof a hill three years ago when two women rode up and stopped to drink. We talked a little, and then rode on a few miles. We chatted again when I was peeling off, and we agreed to ride again. I left my number on a bulletin board at the staging area and figured I would never hear from them, but lo and behold, a day later, Jenny called back. (She told me later that the number had blown away, but she looked around some and found it in the bushes nearby!) We rode a few times, we went to dinner, and we have been dating happily since...

You might be lucky enough to find Ms. Right on the trail, but I wouldn't quit looking other places as well.


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## Impy (Jan 6, 2004)

kbahus said:


> I see all of these cute ladys on the trails all the time except they are either flying by me or visa-versa. All I can ever get out is a quick "hi". How lame is that. I am to the point of desperation here, *perhaps I should take a digger infront of the next and see if she stops to help or runs me over*. Do any of you ladys have any suggestions on meeting girls on the trail? It sure would be nice to have a female companion to go mountain biking with


I was going to chalk you up as just yet another lame guy trying to hit on women (or *ladies*) that are sick of being hit on by desperate single guys on the trail, but the digger comment actually was funny. Crack some jokes at the next after ride event with your local bike club and you might have a chance.


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## vermont (Jul 20, 2004)

*learn to change flats quickly.....*



mahgnillig said:


> I'd imagine that the women you meet on the trail are there for riding, not for being picked up by some guy. If you really want to start a conversation, try the trailhead after the ride when they're not trying to concentrate on that big ol' tree that's coming up. If there's one person in particular that you think you'd like to meet, keep some spare beer/Gatorade/water in a cooler in your car and offer her a cold drink at the end of a ride... just don't be creepy or stalkerish about it. I know plenty of times I'd be totally grateful for a nice gesture like that... it's a good conversation starter at any rate, then the rest is down to your charm or lack thereof.
> 
> - Jen.


and do other simple mechanical things....tuning deraillers on the trail...good ice breaker


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## CycleMainiac (Jan 12, 2004)

*or leave a beer tab*

This past weekend our girls ride was at a near by ranch with a saloon (beer and burgers). Near the end of my groups ride, we came across a couple of guys trying to fix a flat, they had not the stuff they needed; not enough co2, no working pump, no tube while rinning tubeless. We used all the c02 we had and gave them a tube. It was still too soft to ride but then another group of ladies rode up and handed over another co2 and the guys were good to go.

When we all got the to saloon those guys had not only left us several co2's but a very generous bar tab.


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## Berkeley Mike (Jan 13, 2004)

*My daughter just came back from the gym*

after having to fend of yet another guy hitting on her. She just wanted to get he workout in and he wouldn't take the hint.
On the other hand, however, this Forum has often encouraged new girl riders by suggesting that it is a great way to meet men.
I think this qualifies as a conundrum.


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

Berkeley Mike said:


> after having to fend of yet another guy hitting on her. She just wanted to get he workout in and he wouldn't take the hint.
> On the other hand, however, this Forum has often encouraged new girl riders by suggesting that it is a great way to meet men.
> I think this qualifies as a conundrum.


OK, what I'm not getting is all the hostility in response to getting hit on. I don't get it. Whenever it happens to me I quickly and politely let the interested party know I'm married, not interested, and usually thank them and assure them that their attention was in fact flattering. Never when I have I been that blunt and polite in return, has an "offending party"  continued their wasted advances. What's the big deal?

IMO a lot of this hostility is rooted in a sort of programmed response, where women from an early age were taught to be offended by the interest of men. It's unwarranted. And frankly it's rude and obnoxious. Regardless of what you've been taught, you're not a "sex object" just because some guy wants to meet you. Get over yourselves. Just say you're not interested -- clearly and politely. It's not that great a feat. Men, regardless of what women say, are very good at taking a hint. It's women who are poor in giving clear ones.

Which brings me to part two, where I think also factoring into the hositility so often demonstrated in these situations is due to women's often passive aggressive nature. They'll be sweet to an "offending party's" face, and then act all put out about it to their friends. Say what you mean when you mean it, and you're less apt to exaggerate the incident later.

Lastly, I think the hostility may be misdirected and general (read again: passive aggressive) anger toward men that gets directed at some poor sap who dares to show interest in a woman. Guys, when they're a ***** to you in return of your attention, realize that you're just getting some of the maliciousness an ex-boyfriend earned years ago, but was never expressed to him. Blow it off and be thankful you don't have to deal with the left over baggage.

Anywho, rant over. Off to ride.


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## forkboy (Apr 20, 2004)

kbahus said:


> I see all of these cute ladys on the trails all the time except they are either flying by me or visa-versa. All I can ever get out is a quick "hi". How lame is that. I am to the point of desperation here, perhaps I should take a digger infront of the next and see if she stops to help or runs me over. Do any of you ladys have any suggestions on meeting girls on the trail? It sure would be nice to have a female companion to go mountain biking with


It's the reek of Single Desperate Man - women can smell it from a mile off, especially if you're grunting up a climb.

My advice - accept the fact that you are going to die a shrivelled up old man talking to himself while rocking back and forth on the porch. That lessens the scent, and may be confused by women for Successful Guy Content With His Lot in Life scent.

Or join some group rides. Then you will meet a bunch of other guys destined for loneliness, and the stink of Single Man may knock the ladies out so you can drag them back to your cave without much struggle.


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## verslowrdr (Mar 22, 2004)

There's another solution I've discovered: just be less-than-attractive and a little crazy. Guys are totally cool with nutty homely women as friends, but otherwise leave you alone. Problem solved!


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## MidAtlanticXCer (May 21, 2004)

*tone is hard to id correctly from a post, eh?*

Hostile? All depends on the reader, I guess. I was just reading along and thinking that I'd add that probably many of the women out alone on the trail are alone b'cuz honey's home watching the kids so they can ride (or at least half of this forum, eh?). I think the responses are factual: most of us don't like being hit on while riding. Or really, much of any place else. Just the facts, ma'am. Not pissed, just sayin'.

One of my buds is always horn-dogging on the trail and at races when he sees an attractive woman he thinks might be single. I've tried gently to convey that this will drive women off faster than anything else, but unsuccessfully thus far. Ah, the attractive scent of desperation...


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## MidAtlanticXCer (May 21, 2004)

*another on!*



verslowrdr said:


> There's another solution I've discovered: just be less-than-attractive and a little crazy. Guys are totally cool with nutty homely women as friends, but otherwise leave you alone. Problem solved!


No no no, go out riding while 38 weeks preggers, that'll do 'er, right veryslo?


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## verslowrdr (Mar 22, 2004)

MidAtlanticXCer said:


> No no no, go out riding while 38 weeks preggers, that'll do 'er, right veryslo?


How would I know- they never hit on me anyway!


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## BeatVibe1 (Feb 20, 2004)

*Hey!*

Which one of you baby-maker, love-pudding on your mustache for five cents want to ride? Hello? Anyone? Anyone? Hmmm. I guess I gotta' work on my pick-up lines. Okay, I'll try shaving my unibrow - yeah, that'll get 'em!


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## Dwight Moody (Jan 10, 2004)

BeatVibe1 said:


> Which one of you baby-maker, love-pudding on your mustache for five cents want to ride? Hello? Anyone? Anyone? Hmmm. I guess I gotta' work on my pick-up lines. Okay, I'll try shaving my unibrow - yeah, that'll get 'em!


Remember, just shave the middle. Don't shave off the whole thing, that's creepy. Especially if you've seen "Pink Floyd's The Wall".


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## Gators (Sep 15, 2005)

My favorite line is:

"Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform?"

Gets them every time.


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## AndrewTO (Mar 30, 2005)

Hello Kitty said:


> OK, what I'm not getting is all the hostility in response to getting hit on. I don't get it. Whenever it happens to me I quickly and politely let the interested party know I'm married, not interested, and usually thank them and assure them that their attention was in fact flattering. Never when I have I been that blunt and polite in return, has an "offending party"  continued their wasted advances. What's the big deal?
> 
> IMO a lot of this hostility is rooted in a sort of programmed response, where women from an early age were taught to be offended by the interest of men. It's unwarranted. And frankly it's rude and obnoxious. Regardless of what you've been taught, you're not a "sex object" just because some guy wants to meet you. Get over yourselves. Just say you're not interested -- clearly and politely. It's not that great a feat. Men, regardless of what women say, are very good at taking a hint. It's women who are poor in giving clear ones.
> 
> ...


(bows in worship)

THANK F'N YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally, someone has spoken a large margin of truth, rather than simply mutter rubbish.

Perhaps YOU can explain something further to me, HK? It seems to me that all the focus is on meeting women in the biking world (it's makes some sense as this IS a biking forum, but...) and many have said "Oh, I/we just wanna ride, why can't men leave me/us alone?!?!" and I simply don't get it - what makes the environment of being outdoors on a bike ANY different than being in, oh say, a bar/club, maybe on the way to/from work (if you were commuting on public transportation), out for an evening walk?

I'm not really asking a serious question here, it's a rhetorical thing, but it's just annoying to see so many responses that make it seem as if it's worse to ask a woman out if she's on a bike than it would be to be banging here while her husband is at work. Some women make it seem as though it should be punishable by law. Why not just wear a shirt that says "If you even think of asking me on a date i'm going to scream rape!"

My last ride a few nights ago I met, and talked to, four different women at different points through my evenings' escapade with nature. I would have loved to have asked any of them if they might have been interested in going out for dinner/drinks after riding, but then I remembered what so many have said here - I figured i'd better keep my mouth shut in case one of them had decided to report me to the Head Office and get me banned for being some kind of perv-stalker. (no, we don't need to insert a Picard joke here, thank you very much)

Thanks HK! It's VERY reassuring to know there are some NORMAL women out there. Enjoy your ride.


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

I couldn't help but watch the train crash when the main board shows "sooo hard to talk to biker ladys." My two cents. 

I chat with women all the time on the trail, mostly hikers, they seem pretty friendly to me. Then of course it could just be the fact that I am usually towing a 21 month old toddler and riding with my wife.


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

MidAtlanticXCer said:


> Hostile? All depends on the reader, I guess. I was just reading along and thinking that I'd add that probably many of the women out alone on the trail are alone b'cuz honey's home watching the kids so they can ride (or at least half of this forum, eh?).


Actually, you're right, this thread hasn't been bad so far, but as Andrew noted, this forum has a way of giving off that unnecessarily hostile vibe discussing this subject. Clearly, I'm not the only one who has picked up on it. And again, I don't get it.



MidAtlanticXCer said:


> I think the responses are factual: most of us don't like being hit on while riding. Or really, much of any place else. Just the facts, ma'am. Not pissed, just sayin'.


Well, then I must be one of the few women on the planet that does, or at least doesn't find it to be a negative experience in any way. Help me out, what's not to like? Somebody's attracted to you. Interested in you. And wants to know you better. Just how is this an unpleasant experience? I really don't get it!

When it happens to me I rack it up as I would any other compliment, be it in response to my riding (isn't it one of the coolest things when a hiker actually complements your technical abilities?), or my work, or anything else about me. It's nice. And when people are being nice or kind to me, usually that begets a gracious response. The _"Oh God, don't bother me ... AGAIN."_ attitude seems weirdly hostile and really uncompassionate. Down right mean, in fact.


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

_IMO a lot of this hostility is rooted in a sort of programmed response, where women from an early age were taught to be offended by the interest of men. It's unwarranted. And frankly it's rude and obnoxious. Regardless of what you've been taught, you're not a "sex object" just because some guy wants to meet you. Get over yourselves. Just say you're not interested -- clearly and politely. It's not that great a feat. Men, regardless of what women say, are very good at taking a hint. It's women who are poor in giving clear ones._

Not so fast. I've always had the attitude of "friends first." Therefore I don't mind hanging out with a guy, being friendly, with no expectations. Problem is, the GUY very often takes this the wrong way. After a couple of recent situations, I now know better how to listen to my gut.

One guy I recently hung out with after a ride was like, "It's not a date or anything," but before I knew it, he had called to thank me for hanging out, then called me late at night when he saw I was online, then got all pissed off that I wasn't calling him back. So much for the casual approach! 

You can't win: If you refuse to give your phone # when asked, you get the "Oh what are you worried about, you stuck up b!tch" attitude; when you do give it out, it's like, "Well, if you didn't want me to call, why did you give it to me......" and so on.

So what if he now thinks I'm a b!tch. Too bad. The last guy who pulled this kind of crap forced me to "break up" with him when merely hanging out turned into flowers on my desk, romantic e-mails in French, and embarassing questions from co-workers.

Does this mean I assume the worst out of ALL guys? Hell no. I continue riding alone, even with guys I haven't met, but now pay more attention to my instincts.

I know one very strong woman whose HUSBAND was the one to tell her, "All guys want nothing but sex, you can't trust ANY of them no matter what." (that's the tame version of what he told her, actually.) In spite of her toughness, she's been truly afraid to ride alone with groups of men....and she's not the only Betty more concerned about the riders than the trail conditions. It's MEN who give women these paranoid ideas!

If a guy is interested, he should ask a woman out because he's spent some time with her and he thinks he might like her *personality.* Don't ask a woman out just because she's merely a single female with a pulse on a bike.

It's usually obvious when a guy is interested in a woman as a person or is just trying the statistical method- hitting on large numbers of women until one actually agrees to a date.


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

AndrewTO said:


> Perhaps YOU can explain something further to me, HK? It seems to me that all the focus is on meeting women in the biking world (it's makes some sense as this IS a biking forum, but...) and many have said "Oh, I/we just wanna ride, why can't men leave me/us alone?!?!" and I simply don't get it - what makes the environment of being outdoors on a bike ANY different than being in, oh say, a bar/club, maybe on the way to/from work (if you were commuting on public transportation), out for an evening walk?
> 
> I'm not really asking a serious question here, it's a rhetorical thing, but it's just annoying to see so many responses that make it seem as if it's worse to ask a woman out if she's on a bike than it would be to be banging here while her husband is at work. Some women make it seem as though it should be punishable by law. Why not just wear a shirt that says "If you even think of asking me on a date i'm going to scream rape!"


I realize it's a rhetorical question, but you're getting a response anyway. To me there is no difference. People meet everywhere. In the grocery store, at the gym, on the internet, and on the trail. And for the most part I think all this "I hate being hit on" is bullsh!t. I think most times, wherever the attention is extended, on the trail or in a club, women _are _ flattered, or at least not all that put out by the experience. The overt negative response, when it's delievered, IMO, is their exercising some mean and egotistical side of themselves -- read again: passive aggressive streak. In a nutshell, they just get off delivering some *****y superiority trip on some unsuspecting dude for various deeply rooted reasons.



AndrewTO said:


> My last ride a few nights ago I met, and talked to, four different women at different points through my evenings' escapade with nature. I would have loved to have asked any of them if they might have been interested in going out for dinner/drinks after riding, but then I remembered what so many have said here - I figured i'd better keep my mouth shut in case one of them had decided to report me to the Head Office and get me banned for being some kind of perv-stalker.


That's a shame. Next time follow your instincts. If she's obnoxious in response, it help you quickly -- and cheaply! -- filter out women you wouldn't have enjoyed dating anyway. You're up time, money, and immeasurable emotional capital.

And yes, I did have an awesome ride, thanks very much. It was on the road, but still awesome!


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## Godzilla (Mar 31, 2005)

Christine said:


> If a guy is interested, he should ask a woman out because he's spent some time with her and he thinks he might like her *personality.* Don't ask a woman out just because she's merely a single female with a pulse on a bike.


Yeah, exactly!

Limit your pool of candidates to co-workers, family, or members of any groups you might happen to belong to (but which you didn't join to meet people - otherwise you're a pig)
Maybe if you're lucky you'll even be attracted to one of them.



One surefire way to meet biking women with which you'll hit it off is to start dating someone seriously and then go on a group ride. Never fails...

Thanks HK for telling it like it is.


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## AndrewTO (Mar 30, 2005)

Hello Kitty said:


> I realize it's a rhetorical question, but you're getting a response anyway. To me there is no difference. People meet everywhere. In the grocery store, at the gym, on the internet, and on the trail. And for the most part I think all this "I hate being hit on" is bullsh!t. I think most times, wherever the attention is extended, on the trail or in a club, women _are _ flattered, or at least not all that put out by the experience. The overt negative response, when it's delievered, IMO, is their exercising some mean and egotistical side of themselves -- read again: passive aggressive streak. In a nutshell, they just get off delivering some *****y superiority trip on some unsuspecting dude for various deeply rooted reasons.


Yeah, I feel the same about the REAL truth of sarcasm. 

I hear what you're saying. It's a shame - sooooo many good women out there. And, no, for the record, i'm not simply talking about looks either. Sad part is, as i've found with my experiences, the predominant thing that usually attracts one person to another is.... looks. Conundrum, indeed.



Hello Kitty said:


> That's a shame. Next time follow your instincts. If she's obnoxious in response, it help you quickly -- and cheaply! -- filter out women you wouldn't have enjoyed dating anyway. You're up time, money, and immeasurable emotional capital.
> 
> And yes, I did have an awesome ride, thanks very much. It was on the road, but still awesome!


Yeah, don't worry, i'm kicking myself now. (shrug) Life is all about experiences, right? I should know better by now as my gut has never let me down. Maybe one day i'll learn.

You should charge ... even if it's by the post.   My next Gatorade is in your honour (a case of beer might not survive the shipping down there).

Off to work on bike to ignore personal, deep-rooted issues.


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## verslowrdr (Mar 22, 2004)

Christine said:


> ...I know one very strong woman whose HUSBAND was the one to tell her, "All guys want nothing but sex, you can't trust ANY of them no matter what." (that's the tame version of what he told her, actually.) ....


Add my husband to the list of those who are sayin' it like it is- although I'm not at all scared to hang out with the guys as a result. Just more amused when I see it in action.


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

Christine said:


> Not so fast. I've always had the attitude of "friends first." Therefore I don't mind hanging out with a guy, being friendly, with no expectations. Problem is, the GUY very often takes this the wrong way. After a couple of recent situations, I now know better how to listen to my gut.
> 
> One guy I recently hung out with after a ride was like, "It's not a date or anything," but before I knew it, he had called to thank me for hanging out, then called me late at night when he saw I was online, then got all pissed off that I wasn't calling him back. So much for the casual approach!


Precisely! The "casual approach," as you call it, is _vagueness_, and is _passivity_. _You're _ the one uncomfortable speaking directly, _you're _ the one blaming him for "putting you" in a situation where you have to be more direct, and then to wrap it all up _you're _ the one blaming him for being a creep by not reading your mind. Sweetie, it's _your _ problem.

Christine, practice these words: _ "Thanks very much. I'm very flattered, you're a really nice guy, but I'm just not interested." _ He'll stop, I promise. If not, you can always throw in, _"You're not my type, it won't change, and I don't want to waste your time."_ I know you may think that's being *****y, but it's not. He'll appreciate it, and he'll be left with a whole lot more dignity than feeling led on by your "being casual," and hoping he "gets the hint." Whenever you're hoping he gets the hint, I promise he thinks this means he still has a chance. You must be direct. Sheet, I've said stuff as directly and ended up great friends with the guys afterwards.



christine said:


> You can't win: If you refuse to give your phone # when asked, you get the "Oh what are you worried about, you stuck up b!tch" attitude; when you do give it out, it's like, "Well, if you didn't want me to call, why did you give it to me......" and so on.


Bull****! Just tell them you don't dig them that way, and that you're just not into them. Be direct. Say what you mean, when you mean it. Remember? Quit being so damn timid and then blaming men for misunderstanding you.



> In spite of her toughness, she's been truly afraid to ride alone with groups of men....and she's not the only Betty more concerned about the riders than the trail conditions. It's MEN who give women these paranoid ideas!


She's not tough. Hysterical chicks ain't tough. And here's another little truth for you: you and she own your ideas 100%. Paranoid or not.



> If a guy is interested, he should ask a woman out because he's spent some time with her and he thinks he might like her *personality.* Don't ask a woman out just because she's merely a single female with a pulse on a bike.


More utter bullsh!t. One of the greatest factors that bodes towards success in a relationship is common interests, and common values. An avid mtb rider is far more unlikely to have an extremely happy relationship with his GF or wife if she does not share his passion. Christine, where do you get this crap? Honestly! Is your mom bitter?



> It's usually obvious when a guy is interested in a woman as a person or is just trying the statistical method- hitting on large numbers of women until one actually agrees to a date


Again, what the hell is the problem with that? Christine, how do _you _ expect to find your husband if not by dating a pool of men before finding the one you decide to marry? You don't know anybody for several weeks anyway, so what's the harm in asking a lot of women out? God, you people drive me nuts. Call it "speed dating" at an Applebees, and it's AOK. A guy asking out a lot of women in hopes to find a date is some kind of lechery.

I just don't get it.


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## Dwight Moody (Jan 10, 2004)

Andrew said:


> Thanks HK! It's VERY reassuring to know there are some NORMAL women out there. Enjoy your ride.


If HK is in the minority than she's not normal.

Just an observation.


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## Dwight Moody (Jan 10, 2004)

Hello Kitty said:


> Well, then I must be one of the few women on the planet that does, or at least doesn't find it to be a negative experience in any way. Help me out, what's not to like? Somebody's attracted to you. Interested in you. And wants to know you better. Just how is this an unpleasant experience? I really don't get it!


OK, I'm a guy, I don't get hit on often. And when I do it's generally pleasant, and I ussually don't realize I'm getting hit on until the hitter realizes I'm straight and politely backs out of the conversation. (This hasn't happened since I grew my beard. Which makes me think the beard isn't such a good look but once you stop shaving, it's hard to start.)

However, I've seen what some guys call "hitting on" and I can see how it would cause the objects of their attention to be very wary of any signs of interest from men in future. Sad but true.


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## kept man (Jan 13, 2004)

No, not every guy out there wants to bag you. Maybe some do, maybe a lot do, but it drives me crazy. Hi. I'm on a group ride. I'm just trying to be friendly, and when you're the girl on the ss pushing a 34:16 ratio to my 32:18, when I say "wow, that's amazing you can push that gear!" ... that's really all I'm meaning. Holy crap. That's a big friggin' gear for this terrain.

Am I married? Yes. Do you know that? No ... but you know what? Even if I wasn't married, I wouldn't necessarily be thinking dirty thoughts about you. I just try to be nice.

Alternatively, and this has come up a few times, dudes, please find out a WEE bit more about a girl before asking her out on the trails. And probably don't do it on the trails to begin with, because if you're distracting a lady on a tecchie section, and you get the awkward: "uuuh, my husband is the guy up ahead on the ss (with the 32:18 ratio)", you deserve the bad tone.

And if you're the second dude to ask out this lady in the same group ride, same night, well then pay some damn attention, dumbass.


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## Guyechka (Jul 19, 2005)

*the male perspective...*

The "swallow my love pudding" line got me thinking: how many gay male riders are out there looking to pick up guys, and what exactly would the majority of the responses be? Hmmm? My guess is that they would be on the hostile side. I suppose you could just turn the original question around and have the woman chatting up the man, but where is the fun in that?

BTW. It has never happened to me while riding. Rock climbing is a different story...


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## VA2SLOride (Feb 17, 2005)

HK, you speak the truth. All very level-headed responses....and telling it like it is. 

You don't seem quite as bitter as a result of this, I'm sure...and it's always very comforting to hear women call one another out on a societal level.....lol....good stuff!!


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## Guest (Sep 15, 2005)

HK for president!

man did i ever get lucky when i met my wife. i would hate to be out there trying to meet someone worth while, while at the same time trying to dodge the psycho's and attitudes whizzing by my head.

one piece of advice i think would apply...

if you aren't having much luck at clubs, bars, trails, or work, try taking some classes at a JC or something. take classes that appeal to you and interest you. i met over half the women i have dated in my life in classes varying from English to Chemistry. you can also use this as a screening of their potential income! 

lets see, i think if i had to do it over i would hook up with a nursing student! good money and free medical attention!!!!!! (ER visits are WAY too expensive, wouldn't it be cool to come home and pop a beer, "Stitch me up baby!" HAHAHAA)


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## Johnny Hair Boy (Jul 11, 2004)

*I don't find hard at all*

Personaly I find most female mountain bikers to more friendly than your average girl. I never find any of them to have that stuck up attitude that you get with the club going crowd.I don't want to stereotype people but I think that mountain biking girls in general are down to earth, polite, fiendly and outgoing. That said I have never "hit on one" because I have a great girl already and yes she rides. I find alot dicussions on this board paint our female riders out to be bit---s and hard asses, and its a shame becuase most are not.


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## screampint (Dec 10, 2001)

> Alternatively, and this has come up a few times, dudes, please find out a WEE bit more about a girl before asking her out on the trails.


And if you happen to be a bike rep, find out who the wife of the owner is to make sure you don't hit on her on a shop ride. 

While I don't get in a huff if some guy is hitting on me while I'm the trail (doesn't really happen much, since I ride alone and don't see too many people), there are some instances. Never, and I repeat NEVER assume that because she is a woman she can't ride as fast or as well as you, that's the quickest way to get left in the dust. Some of the things that have been said to me have made me much fast for a 1/2 mile to escape the offender, most recent being, "you've got gorgeous legs, you might be able to ride this one trail I know. I could show it to you, I wouldn't mind hanging back with you." I didn't even bother telling him I was married.

Normally I make sure that they know I'm married, that seems to work. Like HK says, it doesn't mean they instantly leave you alone and quit wanting to be a friend, it just makes it clear. If only people could spell things out clearly.


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## BeatVibe1 (Feb 20, 2004)

*Aaaargghh!*



Dwight Moody said:


> Remember, just shave the middle. Don't shave off the whole thing, that's creepy. Especially if you've seen "Pink Floyd's The Wall".


So that's what I've been doing wrong! Should I lose the mini-skirt too? It's hard to find one with a built-in chamois - and it kinda' chafes.


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## AZtortoise (Jan 12, 2004)

I ride alone quite a bit and I like it. And sometimes I do not want to talk to anyone, male or female. Having said that, sometimes I like to chat with other mtb'ers, hikers and equestrians. Lots of nice people trailside.

As far as men goes, I will use two examples. One fellow and I exchanged first names and only speak on the trail or at the trailhead. This has been going on for about two years. At first we just talked bikes, now we talk about just about anything. And, lately, when we see each other at the trailhead we give each other a short hug. I do not feel threatened at all. He knows I am happily married and not once have I felt he was hitting on me. I consider him a friend.

Another guy I met at the trailhead gave me the creeps. He immediately started asking more personal questions, like where did I live, where do I work, when do I ride that particular trail, stuff like that. I felt a bit threatened by his presence. I avoided that trail for two months after telling him I rode there every sunday. I did not feel he was hitting on me, just too much personal talk for just meeting. Most of the time when men talk to me trailside we talk bikes or about local trails and I am ok with that. In fact, I enjoy it.

My point is, sometimes the vibe is just wrong with certain guys. The fellow that gave me the creeps came off as controlling and stalker-like, and he gave me 'the look.' You know, the I am undressing you with my eyes look. ***shudder*** I distanced myself from that guy as fast as I could.

And HK, I do the direct approach, too. No dancing around for me, I tell it like it is.

Rita


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

What bothered me was the whole "It's not a date," and then I began to feel like it somehow morphed into one rather suddenly. 

Of course I should've cut the lunch short, right there I suppose that was a mixed signal I gave out? In that case, it *was* my fault. Didn't think of it like that. I was just killing time, tired from the ride and not in a big hurry to fight traffic. 

No doubt it's got to do with MY issues how I end up in (or cause!) these situations in the first place. When I get that feeling, I've often overlooked it; now I'm learning to trust my gut off the bat. 

This is why I don't even date- I'm terrible at it!!  And why I post as much as I do- hey even when I get flamed I'm learning.


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## Mtnz2Sea (Dec 13, 2004)

*Damn, I must be ugly,...*

well really! I ride 3-4 days a week, race in a series, do a few 24 hour races, quickly get out of the way and then cheer on the passing racers,....and no one ever asks me out. Hummm, my chiropractor maybe right. " you're too damn strong." I guess "farmer type" builds are only necessary if you own a farm. Well, gotta go and feed 6 horses and then a 20mile road ride. Ahhhh, Life is still good!


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## Impy (Jan 6, 2004)

AZtortoise said:


> Another guy I met at the trailhead gave me the creeps. He immediately started asking more personal questions, like where did I live, where do I work, when do I ride that particular trail, stuff like that. I felt a bit threatened by his presence. I avoided that trail for two months after telling him I rode there every sunday. I did not feel he was hitting on me, just too much personal talk for just meeting. Most of the time when men talk to me trailside we talk bikes or about local trails and I am ok with that. In fact, I enjoy it.


This is succinct and this type of guy is I think where some of this "hostility" (you call it) and "wariness" (I call it) comes from. Guess what, there are creepy desperate girls too.

FWIW I enjoy flirting. But within 5 minutes of meeting me any guy knows not only that I have a BF, but that he kicks ass on a bike too.


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## Impy (Jan 6, 2004)

Hello Kitty said:


> this forum has a way of giving off that unnecessarily hostile vibe discussing this subject.


Maybe as a forum we should make a sticky that says "Thanks, we are flattered by your interest in meeting some of us mountain biking girls, but we aren't interested". Any interest then beyond that would thus weed out the guys who "don't get the hint" as you put it.


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## kept man (Jan 13, 2004)

Screampint, I think the bike rep hitting (unwittingly perhaps) on the shopkeeper's wife takes the cake.

I mean, it's one thing just to be an unobservant lonely (or horny) person. It's another to be that way when on business. That's just stupid.


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

Impy said:


> Maybe as a forum we should make a sticky that says "Thanks, we are flattered by your interest in meeting some of us mountain biking girls, but we aren't interested". Any interest then beyond that would thus weed out the guys who "don't get the hint" as you put it.


Or the _"Hey I want to meet chicks that bike"_ threads could just be ignored.


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

Christine said:


> What bothered me was the whole "It's not a date," and then I began to feel like it somehow morphed into one rather suddenly.
> 
> Of course I should've cut the lunch short, right there I suppose that was a mixed signal I gave out? In that case, it *was* my fault. Didn't think of it like that. I was just killing time, tired from the ride and not in a big hurry to fight traffic.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry, my reply was too harsh. I blame post-ride endorphins. 

My point really was that in an effort to "be nice" women tend to "seem interested" -- legitimately! And I'm just pointing out there's many very polite, clear, and (best of all) effective ways to stop a lunch from morphing into a date; or to let a guy who's fishing to find out if you're into him, to let him know that you're not. He won't be near as crushed as you think he'll be if you let him know that you just don't dig him, and in some way thank him for his interest. Trust me, there are several great girls that, for whatever reason, just don't do it for him either.

Plus, when you do this, generally guys who tend to carry their ego around in a paper bag handing it everybody else to care for don't dig you either. They find some other chick to put up with their neediness. Problem solved.


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## brownieinSC (Apr 19, 2004)

*I normally go with how the person makes me feel*

I have met some guys in the parking lot before, chatting while checking pressure, etc, make sure they know my husband normally rides with me but then join them for the ride. It is fun to meet people to ride with. Some guys just put out a vibe that makes you feel trapped and scared though. Those are the guys you do not ride with and preferably don't talk to. I have rarely had a guy hit on me on the trail after stating I am married. I think my husband probably worries more about me riding with a stranger or strange group than I do. That entire MY wife thing and needing to keep me safe
Work though is an entirely different situation and I have many more problems there


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## MidAtlanticXCer (May 21, 2004)

*well, there you go*



Johnny Hair Boy said:


> Personaly I find most female mountain bikers to more friendly than your average girl. I never find any of them to have that stuck up attitude that you get with the club going crowd.I don't want to stereotype people but I think that mountain biking girls in general are down to earth, polite, fiendly and outgoing. That said I have never "hit on one" because I have a great girl already and yes she rides.


Sure, I'll talk to anyone. I do talk to anyone on the trail. I find that some are happy to chat and some aren't, whatever. I never assume that a guy talking to me is hitting on me, though, just being friendly.

To me, being hit on is either what some of the ladies here have described as that sort of creepy leering and asking personal questions, or it's straight up getting asked out by a stranger. The latter has the advantage of being an upfront approach, but even if I was single, I don't date strangers - doesn't make me mad, I just smile and say no. Personal preference, learned through experience. The former? Clearly socially clueless and / or a real creep. Not flattering, just disturbing.


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## Mamalisa (Sep 10, 2005)

vermont said:


> and do other simple mechanical things....tuning deraillers on the trail...good ice breaker


I would definately stop to chat with a cutie doing something mechanical...assuming he looked like he knew what he was doing and he wasn't with 5 other guys


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## RJG (Jun 17, 2004)

*trolling*

Hey guy that started the thread, try being normal. It shouldn't be any more difficult to talk to "people" on the trail than it is anywhere else. I could see if you are geared up in armor and wearing a full face helmet it may be difficult to say "hi". I could imagine it may sound like Charlie Brown talking on the phone. Check out the "The Tao of Steve" and make sure you have some Steve in you dude. Also, don't start threads like this, you're makeing the rest of us men look worse than we already do.


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

_He won't be near as crushed as you think he'll be if you let him know that you just don't dig him, and in some way thank him for his interest. _

That's why I didn't call him back when he called to thank me for the lunch. It was only then that I realized, oh crap this is like a date! He did push it a bit, what was I going to do? Say no to giving him my number? I didn't see the big deal and still don't.

As for the co-worker, I was getting letters and flowers AFTER I told him it wasn't anything more than a friendship.

Everybody else's comments.......too many to respond to, but hey it's a post, and I can't give the big picture so easily. For the record it IS flattering to get hit on! Just not by the guys who hide the fact that they're otherwise involved.

HK, you're harsh all right but I've learned my lesson!


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

Christine said:


> As for the co-worker, I was getting letters and flowers AFTER I told him it wasn't anything more than a friendship.


Hey, you're just an irresistible vixen. It's your cross to bear in life. Be grateful for it, or at least get used to it. You ride a bike, and that alone will make a lot of guys want to know you. Well.

Anyways ... I'm off to pick up some gym flooring to complete the full-on spin studio I've been working on. Hey, my weekend may be shot, but my winter's looking better all the time ...

Later! ~ HK


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

_Hey, you're just an irresistible vixen._

Oh sure. Just never when I want to be 

Bottom line is: Chat people up. Be friendly but not pushy. Don't be condescending. If there's a spark things could happen even if it takes time. This is true on and off the trails.


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## kept man (Jan 13, 2004)

pfffft. Spinning ... Kitty, I'm disappointed.

Get out on the slopes for those whole 3 weeks when you can't be on the trails! That way next time we're out your way you'll actually come skiing with us!


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## Impy (Jan 6, 2004)

Hello Kitty said:


> I'm sorry, my reply was too harsh. I blame post-ride endorphins.
> .


We weren't taking you seriously anyway. After all, we all know that you don't like to chat on rides, and you run over slower riders up or downhill. So you don't talk to guys on the trail either now, do you missy?

 <- obligatory smiley so that the tone is not mistaken

Hey here's a devil's advocate point to ponder in all seriousness. Maybe some of the "attitude" women have is not based on the theory that we think that we are all so lovely that we have to beat off men with sticks after being coy with them, but rather, that strange men in all guises and walks of life could pose a risk to safety. Women do get raped you know.

*disclaimer:*BTW before you accuse me of being paranoid, let me point out that this viewpoint was proposed to me by a guy with whom I was discussing this thread.


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

There are men who are genuinely interested, and men who know how to fake interest really well just to get what they want!

Not that there aren't women guilty of that as well.....but for us there's the added safety aspect that triggers red flag signals, even if its function isn't as necessary as it once was.

It's also why women bond over this kind of discussion- like when we go to the ladies' room as a group


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## AndrewTO (Mar 30, 2005)

Christine said:


> He did push it a bit, what was I going to do? Say no to giving him my number? I didn't see the big deal and still don't.


Yes. If you're not interested in him then DON'T give him your number. You lead him on. If it was a retrospective thing then that's different, but if your gut was telling you not to at that time - then don't. It's no longer a hint that is being offered (some of us guys are really LOUSY at taking hints, eh?!?!) - it is a clear indication that when you're done eating lunch then you're done with his company. Period. The end.

I had someone interested in me (yeah yeah, I know, soooo hard to believe  ) and I was in a bit of an uncomfortable position. She reeeeeally liked me. I didn't feel the same about her. I told her so. She asked me again, asking me to be more "clear and definitive with what I think and feel". I told her the same thing again, explained it all bit by bit (must admit, kinda tough). I ended with "that four page letter you wrote me kinda freaked me out a bit, too". Nothing to do with looks, either. It was her personality that bothered me. I would rather have someone _want_ me, not _need_ me.

Damn, maybe that's why i'm still single.       

(sticks neck out on gilloutine)

Christine, I really think you need to be a bit more "ball-sy". Hey, women have balls, they're just higher up, that's all.


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## forkboy (Apr 20, 2004)

Impy said:


> Hey here's a devil's advocate point to ponder in all seriousness. Maybe some of the "attitude" women have is not based on the theory that we think that we are all so lovely that we have to beat off men with sticks after being coy with them, but rather, that strange men in all guises and walks of life could pose a risk to safety. Women do get raped you know.


I asked a girl out last weekend after some rather friendly conversation. She says "I have a boyfriend". I said, "It'll kind of screw up my chances if you bring him along".

Dating sucks ass. It's amazing the human species hasn't died out due to all the BS surrounding it.

The main problem is accessibility. I think everyone should have to wear signs out - 
Single and looking
Single but not looking
Dating but looking
Dating - not looking
Single but damaged
Married
etc.

And it's not entirely women's fault with mixed signals. It's easy to say "Just tell him you're not interested" but then you have to deal with the moron guys that can't accept that you actually mean what you are saying. I think it's about 20% of the market (both male and female) that screw it up for the other 80%.

To paraphrase Grampa Simpson
I used to be real good at the game. Then the game changed. Now the game is scary.


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## Dwight Moody (Jan 10, 2004)

forkboy said:


> Dating sucks ass. It's amazing the human species hasn't died out due to all the BS surrounding it.


Hey, for a big chunk of human history people's families just told them who to procreate with. By putting all the "Getting to know each other crap" after the marriage, they saved a lot of trouble, right?


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

Impy said:


> We weren't taking you seriously anyway. After all, we all know that you don't like to chat on rides, and you run over slower riders up or downhill. So you don't talk to guys on the trail either now, do you missy?
> 
> <- obligatory smiley so that the tone is not mistaken


I usually get picked up _after _ the ride, when I'm disrobing under my Hello Kitty changing kilt.  And a couple of times I have found a note and a phone number under my windshield wiper, when I was riding mid week and was the only other car in the lot.



impy said:


> Hey here's a devil's advocate point to ponder in all seriousness. Maybe some of the "attitude" women have is not based on the theory that we think that we are all so lovely that we have to beat off men with sticks after being coy with them, but rather, that strange men in all guises and walks of life could pose a risk to safety. Women do get raped you know.
> 
> *disclaimer:*BTW before you accuse me of being paranoid, let me point out that this viewpoint was proposed to me by a guy with whom I was discussing this thread.


I've met that strange guy -- or two -- in a guise before too, and at least to me they're pretty obvious very soon. The "OMG, I have to get out of here _now_" instinct they illicit is pretty hard to dismiss, in fact one time it got really really freaky. I'll spare you the details but no cops were called. But if that instinct is happening all the time, that _is _ paranoia, at least in my book.

The vast majority of times I think guys giving that kind of attention are just being interested, flirty, or just horny. All of those are pretty harmless, and for the most part nice or at worst benign in my book. But then again, I don't live in Detroit, neither.


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## forkboy (Apr 20, 2004)

Dwight Moody said:


> Hey, for a big chunk of human history people's families just told them who to procreate with. By putting all the "Getting to know each other crap" after the marriage, they saved a lot of trouble, right?


It would have made the last 15 years of my life a hell of a lot simpler.


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

kept man said:


> pfffft. Spinning ... Kitty, I'm disappointed.
> 
> Get out on the slopes for those whole 3 weeks when you can't be on the trails! That way next time we're out your way you'll actually come skiing with us!


It's on my to-do list. I promise. I suck at it though!! I suck dammit!!

But seriously, if you and the missus are coming out thisaway please ring me up. Would love to ski, or lunch, and if you two need a place to stay our guest bedroom is all set up and you're welcome to it. It's a full on private apartment in the basement! It has its own bathroom. A private entrance. A coffee maker. And a fridge. Stocked with Budweiser. No fooling! I went a little nuts. I do that sometimes ...

Patch may be the first to use it though, as he may come out to Denver in October for some teaching conference. If that's the case, I suggest you survey under the bed for any errant socks before making yourselves too at home. Hahaha. That is if he's still going to stay here. I think that whole Foamy thing pissed him off.

 

BTW, got a new digital camera. I have to figure out how to use the damn thing. I need to post a picture of Charlotte. She's as big as a ping pong ball now.


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

_Yes. If you're not interested in him then DON'T give him your number. You lead him on. If it was a retrospective thing then that's different, but if your gut was telling you not to at that time - then don't._

But then I'm accused of being paranoid or stuck-up if I say "no" to giving my # out. Know what I mean? The reaction could've been, get over yourself, that's not why I want your #, etc. I have a separate list in my address book of bikers' phone #s so it's not that odd.

Each situation is different, and has to be treated as such. We should add to that list:

Single but On the Rebound
Married but Bored
Unavailable but Interested Anyway
Single but Sleeping with Ex for Convenience
Gay but Adamantly Closeted

Sigh. I swear it used to be much easier once upon a time.


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

Christine said:


> _Yes. If you're not interested in him then DON'T give him your number. You lead him on. If it was a retrospective thing then that's different, but if your gut was telling you not to at that time - then don't._
> 
> But then I'm accused of being paranoid or stuck-up if I say "no" to giving my # out. Know what I mean? The reaction could've been, get over yourself, that's not why I want your #, etc. I have a separate list in my address book of bikers' phone #s so it's not that odd.


Another suggestion, why don't you tell them it's a rule that you don't give out your number, but you'll take theirs if they insist? That way you're in the driver's seat.

Also, being wary or even being remotely concerned about being accused of being "stuck up," is clear evidence of your lack of balls. Don't allow yourself to be manipulated into situations you want to avoid based on how you might be perceived, or misperceived, by somebody. **** that! If you're the type of girl that is easily manipulated, you may faithfully attract a certain type of guy that likes to manipulate. And generally those types of guys are a royal pain in the ass.


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## Reposado Man (May 31, 2005)

I think the solution is simple: Be better-looking.

It's like that Chris Rock routine about Clarence Thomas. Had he looked like Denzel Washington, all Anita Hill woulda said was "Oh Clarence, you so NASTYYYYY!''

Reminds me of last year's Sea Otter -- a pal and I were riding around the XC course on Friday and we ran into Shonny Vanlandingham, rocking her Luna uni. Anyway, she seemed to be preriding the course, and because she didn't dust us immediately, it was clear she was soft-pedaling and taking it easy. 

But there was this one dude who was making the most pathetic attempt to pick her up. The dude would circle her, making the lamest idle chatter. Then he'd speed up, trying to impress with his riding ability. Then he'd stop, wait for her, and repeat the process. 

It was pretty clear she was annoyed, but being the pro she is, she kept smiling and humoring him.. Her sponsors woulda been proud!


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## kbahus (Sep 11, 2005)

Wow, I am really surprised by the number of replies, some with some very good information. I think HK hit the nail on the head with what I, repeat "I" am trying to get at: 

"More utter bullsh!t. One of the greatest factors that bodes towards success in a relationship is common interests, and common values. An avid mtb rider is far more unlikely to have an extremely happy relationship with his GF or wife if she does not share his passion."

I have dated my fair share of bar chicks, college chicks, etc etc and quite frankly they are boring and their lives revolve around the wrong issues. I love to bike and finding a girl, even just to hang out with, that bikes as well would be awsome. I never had any idea of group rides, I need to look into that in my area. It would be fun just to participate in something like that anyways regardless if I meet any women. Keep the comments rolling, this has turned into a pretty good thread if you ask me. 

ps: thanks HK!


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## zenmonkey (Nov 21, 2004)

So throw a party, invite the "'mtb chicks" (that term alone will get you mileage  ) call some (ugly) male friends, see who stays behind to clean up with you, then you are set for life (or the next weekend) ...


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

kbahus said:


> Wow, I am really surprised by the number of replies, some with some very good information. I think HK hit the nail on the head with what I, repeat "I" am trying to get at:
> 
> "More utter bullsh!t. One of the greatest factors that bodes towards success in a relationship is common interests, and common values. An avid mtb rider is far more unlikely to have an extremely happy relationship with his GF or wife if she does not share his passion."
> 
> ...


you seem like a nice guy, I'll take back my unibrow comment. 

Do you have any wrenching talent? I'd think that offering to be the token wrench at a women's clinic might be a good thing. Or volunteer at mountain bike races, trail days etc. This won't compensate for the fact that for every woman rider there are about 50 guys that ride, and for every SINGLE woman rider, well.....???

But what do I know, I've been happily married for, uh, a really long time and the dating thing just boggles my mind.I've always felt protective of my rare single mountain biking female friends.

formica


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## AndrewTO (Mar 30, 2005)

Christine said:


> But then I'm accused of being paranoid or stuck-up if I say "no" to giving my # out. Know what I mean? The reaction could've been, get over yourself, that's not why I want your #, etc. I have a separate list in my address book of bikers' phone #s so it's not that odd.
> 
> Each situation is different, and has to be treated as such. We should add to that list:
> 
> ...


HAHAHAHAHAA! I love that list! That's great stuff, really. I'll just plead the 5th for #4. 

So, with that response - see what I mean? Balls! Don't worry about what HE thinks. Whether he's any one of those above in your list (or even any combination - poor guy!) shouldn't matter. What's in your head and heart are the only things that should concern you.  I like HK's suggestion for having a "rule" with your phone number.  YOU are in control. No harm, no foul and he'll know IF there's any chance IF you call. "Hello?" "Hi, it's Christine" "Oh, HIIIIIIIIIIIII!". Now you're the boss (but don't forget to let him have a turn, too). Does it make you a b****? No. If a guy thinks so you know he's not worth your time.

Yeah, once upon a time - give a girl flowers in HS and suddenly you're picking out China patterns.  Glad it ain't like THAT anymore!  

Now, go grab your balls, shout out "I am woman!" and attack the world! 

_This fun-loving, motivational (and hopefully not ban-worthy) post has been brought to you by......._


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

In all fairness, I'm not *totally* clueless! It's just that situations like that one take me by surprise and leave me a little stunned. Plus, I'm leaving out details that contributed. The last thing I expect while dirty/sweaty/exhausted/battered/famished is this kind of attention.

Sad thing about that list, is that a few of the examples are basically real categories on dating sites! 

That is a very good point about asking out bikers, though: I just finished Marla Streb's book, and was surprised how easily I could relate to her feelings not just about biking, but about life in general. I'm sure the vast majority of mtb'ers who read it do too. When a sport becomes such an all-consuming passion then it does make sense, as values about other stuff would have to fit around it.


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## scrublover (Dec 30, 2003)

screampint said:


> ............... Never, and I repeat NEVER assume that because she is a woman she can't ride as fast or as well as you, that's the quickest way to get left in the dust. Some of the things that have been said to me have made me much fast for a 1/2 mile to escape the offender, most recent being, "you've got gorgeous legs, you might be able to ride this one trail I know. I could show it to you, I wouldn't mind hanging back with you." I didn't even bother telling him I was married.
> .


Sarah, reading that made me cackle more than anything on a very long, slow night at work. Hee!

I've only ridden with you once, but was (and correctly so) going into it assuming I was going to get my @ss handed to me. Ahem. And I did. Ouch.

I learned loooong ago to never assume someone is faster or slower based purely on the way they look/gender/kind of bike! There is always someone faster.


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## scrublover (Dec 30, 2003)

Hello Kitty said:


> Anyways ... I'm off to pick up some gym flooring to complete the full-on spin studio I've been working on. Hey, my weekend may be shot, but my winter's looking better all the time ...
> 
> Later! ~ HK


Whaaat???? You live right next to some great stuff that stays open/dry for big chunks of the winter ya know. I *hate* riding indoors. I'll go snowshoe up off the Peak to Peak accessed trails rather than ride indoors. Yech.

In fact, I could show you this one trail....... 

Ahem. That was a joke, just in case.


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## scrublover (Dec 30, 2003)

i've ridden with plenty of ladies, purely as a friendly ride thing. i've made it clear that i've got a girlfirend. not to stop them from hitting on me (right, as if they would) but to let it out there that they don't need to worry about me hitting on them all ride. seems to work well. i'm sure i've been guilty of overly ogling and flirty behaviour in the past, but i try to curb it, and not say anything that might be misconstrued. 

i have had a gal flirting/hitting on me pretty heavily during one ride. i was friendly flirty back (as opposed to "sure, let's hook up" slirty) and made it known that i had a girlfriend. didn't stop her flirting one iota. or maybe it was just my ego making things up, i dunno. definately made my girlfriend put her hackles up in reaction though.....


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

scrublover said:


> Whaaat???? You live right next to some great stuff that stays open/dry for big chunks of the winter ya know. I *hate* riding indoors. I'll go snowshoe up off the Peak to Peak accessed trails rather than ride indoors. Yech.
> 
> In fact, I could show you this one trail.......
> 
> Ahem. That was a joke, just in case.


You guys are too much! Riding indoors isn't that bad, you just have to be familiar with the spin thing. And the workout is fantastic if you design your routine well. We got some really good spin bikes too, the feel is very similar to a road bike, belt driven, and very quite and smooth. I pulled of the stupid rainbow Lemond stickers and put on some Yeti decals so I just pretend.



Believe me, I always prefer outdoor riding to indoor riding, but even though there may be ridable terrain somewhere very nearby, I don't always have time to be on it before the rain, snow, or sun starts falling. Particularly in winter months with shorter days and without the benefit of daylight saving time. I think starting in '06 they're going to extend DST for six weeks or so? That will be awesome!

PS: Putting in flooring sucks hard.


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## deanna (Jan 15, 2004)

Hello Kitty said:


> And a couple of times I have found a note and a phone number under my windshield wiper, when I was riding mid week and was the only other car in the lot.


I've had something similar happen--during a day at the races, there was a guy parked next to me, lots of folks there... so I didn't pay too much attention. Guess he noticed me though. After my race was done I returned to find his card and a note asking to "give him a call sometime." He's a personal trainer... my race had gone badly, I was thinking he thought I was way out of shape and needed help (actually had OTB'd pretty bad mid-race and I was happy to finish mid-pack). Took a while to figure out that perhaps he was hitting on me instead. DUH. Too many thwacks to the head.


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## gabrielle (Jan 2, 2005)

scrublover said:


> i have had a gal flirting/hitting on me pretty heavily during one ride. i was friendly flirty back (as opposed to "sure, let's hook up" slirty) and made it known that i had a girlfriend.


"slirty"....is that a combo of "sl*tty" and "flirty"? 

gabrielle

edited for clarity, the censor bot censored out the part that made sense.


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## MTBerJim (May 26, 2005)

Christine said:


> .It's also why women bond over this kind of discussion- like when we go to the ladies' room as a group


Maybe, but if women didn't go to the ladies room in a group there would never be a line to get in to the ladies room! 

Jim D.


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## kbahus (Sep 11, 2005)

formica said:


> you seem like a nice guy, I'll take back my unibrow comment.
> 
> Do you have any wrenching talent? I'd think that offering to be the token wrench at a women's clinic might be a good thing. Or volunteer at mountain bike races, trail days etc. This won't compensate for the fact that for every woman rider there are about 50 guys that ride, and for every SINGLE woman rider, well.....???
> 
> ...


Thanks for the compliment! I will keep in mind the volunteer work as I would actually like to do some regardless. Unfortunately it is the end of the season here in Colorado and I am not aware of too many more rides. I actually had an interesting run in today on the trail with a group of jogger ladies. I came across them at a really technical part of the climb and they promptly jumped to the side and were chearing me on to keep pushing. I was kinda dumbfound and all I could blurt out was "thank you!". Ah well, thought I would share as it made me kinda happy


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## wolftrack (Jul 28, 2005)

*meeting girls on trails*



kbahus said:


> I see all of these cute ladys on the trails all the time except they are either flying by me or visa-versa. All I can ever get out is a quick "hi". How lame is that. I am to the point of desperation here, perhaps I should take a digger infront of the next and see if she stops to help or runs me over. Do any of you ladys have any suggestions on meeting girls on the trail? It sure would be nice to have a female companion to go mountain biking with


I like talking to guys on the trails. Married or not. I find mtn. bikers much more friendly then roadies. Maybe it is being out in nature vs. fighting off SUV's. I find some guys need to watch their tone....example: I was climbing today and this guy says "Keep going you can do it" I looked at him and said "I know, I do it everyday" Watch that condesending tone. Just enter a conversation as an equal.....don't drag the ego in with it.


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## sfmtber (Aug 30, 2004)

Seriously, as HK pointed out, you can't blame a guy for trying. I don't know if you all know this but... wait for it.... Guys like girls... And more specifically, guys like girls who ride bikes. I know, totally shocking!!! Not sure what's wrong with us but unless the whole world turns into one giant Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue, its not going to change anytime soon. So, if a guy tries to talk to you on the trail, take it as the compliment it was meant to be, chat him up if you think he's cute (or has a sweet bike), tell him you're not interested if he's not your type, and if he's a psycho, tell him that you can't wait to introduce him to your parents, 15 cats, and the friendliest parole officer that ever worked at San Quentin, and the psycho should disappear rather shortly.

And by the way, what is wrong with showing a little interest in a lady who rides? I have a few single lady friends that ride and when they're not complaining that "all the good ones are taken", they are setting up unrealistic expectations for themselves that they don't want to meet Mr. Right on the trails, the gym, the bus, at work, a bar, a cafe, etc. etc. Ummm... that pretty much rules out the majority of places that they are likely to run into somebody that might be Mr. Right or at the very least, somebody that has some of the same interests as they do.

Anyway... sorry for the rant. 

My advice to the original poster... Be friendly, have fun, and don't think about it too much. Some ladies will be friendly, some will ignore you, but when you meet the one who's interested, you won't have to try very hard at all...


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## MidAtlanticXCer (May 21, 2004)

*Bahahaha!*



sfmtber said:


> tell him that you can't wait to introduce him to your parents, 15 cats, and the friendliest parole officer that ever worked at San Quentin


Good 'un! I'll begin practicing that line with my little girl as soon as she hits puberty.


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## catzilla (Jan 31, 2004)

Christine said:


> The last thing I expect while dirty/sweaty/exhausted/battered/famished is this kind of attention.


Translation: "Why would a guy be attracted to me when I'm clad in spandex, dripping sweat from my pumping muscles, and thrusting a peice of steel between my legs? I mean, I'm such a dirty, dirty girl."

Err...

Uh...

Seriously, I'm pretty sure Vivid Videos is on Dirty Sweaty Exhausted Battered Famished Girls XVIII.


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## Brown_Teeth (Jan 15, 2004)

Sometimes ladies just need a nice ride. I ride mostly solo acouple days a week and rarely see anybody on the trails so one day after about 8 miles I'm looping back for another 4 and I spot a gal on road with a fancy Cannondale lefty. I stop and say hey follow me. Well she was from Tahoe and a very strong rider especially since we were riding the coastal hills. She was happy to be guided about and we had spouses and kids in common so it was a friendly ride until the hill of death. A technical grind which I gag on and she just dusted me, oh well by then I had 12 miles and 2000 vert on her but I was impressed. Made me make a mental note not to visit her in Tahoe and have her guide me around on my 36#++ tank. Was fun just making a friend for the day but I felt a bit embarrassed. I was wearing my droopy messenger pants so she didn't have the best view going foward, oh well.


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## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

I don't get it. And sure, like any guy I think about sex every 15 seconds, but it's hard for me in the course of a ride to switch from concentrating on riding to all of the sudden thinking about how I'd like to jump some girl's bones and asking for her number. And let's face it, that's why we ask girls out, to get in their pants. It's not so we can be friends. Sure we want our lovers to be our friends, but the friend part isn't what drives us to lay it on the line and hit on women. On the other hand, if you end up in friendly conversation, that's seems natural. So, all I'm saying is that I can completely relate to why women don't want to be bothered on the trail or at the gym with guys hitting on them. They're out there doing their thing, and all the sudden some guy they don't even know wants to bone them. I'd be like, "Get the hell away from me," too! To me it borders on outright rudeness to intrude on another person's ride with your need to get laid and find a girlfriend. While I appreciate HK's attitude immensely, I can appreciate Christine's as well. I think the reason the OP has a problem hitting on girls on the trail is because it is out of place, and he actually has some class.


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## abc (Oct 15, 2004)

*Thanks for the understanding*



Bikehigh said:


> I don't get it. And sure, like any guy I think about sex every 15 seconds, but it's hard for me in the course of a ride to switch from concentrating on riding to all of the sudden thinking about how I'd like to jump some girl's bones and asking for her number. And let's face it, that's why we ask girls out, to get in their pants. It's not so we can be friends. Sure we want our lovers to be our friends, but the friend part isn't what drives us to lay it on the line and hit on women. On the other hand, if you end up in friendly conversation, that's seems natural. So, all I'm saying is that I can completely relate to why women don't want to be bothered on the trail or at the gym with guys hitting on them. They're out there doing their thing, and all the sudden some guy they don't even know wants to bone them. I'd be like, "Get the hell away from me," too! To me it borders on outright rudeness to intrude on another person's ride with your need to get laid and find a girlfriend. While I appreciate HK's attitude immensely, I can appreciate Christine's as well. I think the reason the OP has a problem hitting on girls on the trail is because it is out of place, and he actually has some class.


I have to complement your intellegence. Not too many people can step into other people's shoes and understand how it feels. And you've summed up the situation better than I can.

So, guys, imagine what it feels like to "be hit" on while in the middle of a workout, say, by a gay guy. You understand when and where NOT to hit on girls, 'cause the girl felt exactly the same way.

I've had many encounters with men and were occasionally invited to ride with them right then or a later time. 9 out of 10 times, these are from guys just interested in another riding buddy. Even that 1 of 10 who wants more than trail buddy can be politely informed of my lack of interest. I found these encounters pleasant.

I also had many encounters where I was being "hit on" and I simply rode away as fast as I can. Typically a desperate male who's only interested in, well, "bone" a girl. We girls can "smell" the purpose of the "hit" from miles away. A rude responds is only natural when the intrusion itself was so rude in the first place.


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## Ouchies (May 5, 2005)

catzilla said:


> Translation: "Why would a guy be attracted to me when I'm clad in spandex, dripping sweat from my pumping muscles, and thrusting a peice of steel between my legs? I mean, I'm such a dirty, dirty girl."
> 
> Err...
> 
> ...


God I love your posts...


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## kawboy8 (May 5, 2004)

catzilla said:


> Translation: "Why would a guy be attracted to me when I'm clad in spandex, dripping sweat from my pumping muscles, and thrusting a peice of steel between my legs? I mean, I'm such a dirty, dirty girl."
> 
> Err...
> 
> ...


If I comment....someone may take it the wrong....or right way. this is a funny subject.


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## archer (May 20, 2004)

abc said:
"...
So, guys, imagine what it feels like to "be hit" on while in the middle of a workout, say, by a gay guy. You understand when and where NOT to hit on girls, 'cause the girl felt exactly the same way.
..."

Well, yes and no.
Since getting hit on by a gay guy is always unwanted attention it hopefully isn't quite the same as getting knocked out of your focus by getting hit on by someone you might even look at twice in a different situation. 

I will say that I don't think I would go with Hello Kitty's attention is flattering argument in the gay guy situation either, although I was buying into it a little before that point. I mean attention from a woman I'm not interested in is probably still a plus up to but not including the psyco stalker type. Getting hit on by a gay guy on the other hand would be a minus.


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

I feel bad for gay men and women- that would be a *really* bold move, given the odds of the stranger also being gay. But if a gay guy hits on you, take it as a compliment- it's not contagious. Besides, they tend to prefer other men who are better looking than average 

Thing is, single women tend to hate places like bars where they feel vunerable (when alone, anyway.) So while there's no right or wrong place to meet people, just give the woman control so she feels safe. "Hey, it was fun riding with you- here's my card/#/e-mail if you need a riding partner again." 

I have no problem with guys being interested, as long as it's for the right reasons and I don't feel like I'm being pushed. When I worked at a gourmet store earlier this year, men were always giving us their cards (although under different pretenses, not blatantly asking us out.) The one guy who DID admit he was interested was really nice about it, apologetic even, and we went out. But I e-mailed him for a while before even talking to him on the phone.


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## abc (Oct 15, 2004)

*"bold move"*



Christine said:


> I feel bad for gay men and women- that would be a *really* bold move, given the odds of the stranger also being gay.


But Christine, think about it. What's the odd of the women being single and available? Is it really that much better than the stranger being gay?

From the number of women I saw on the trail, it's not that many to begin with. Now how many of THEM are single and unattached? Don't forget, some of those women might be gay! (don't ask me how I know)

I think it's an equally "bold" move for the guys to try to pick up girls on the trail and the success rate aren't all that great. They just don't realize it and keep at it. All they accomplish is annoy the hell out of the bery few single women who might even be interested to begin with!

Do I "mind" the attention from guys? Not really. But it's a distraction to be sure.


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

The difference is that a gay man could get badly beat up for hitting on a straight guy! Hence the boldness.


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## archer (May 20, 2004)

Christine said:


> The difference is that a gay man could get badly beat up for hitting on a straight guy! Hence the boldness.


Yeah but it kinda depends on how obnoxious he gets as to whether the 'not interested, get away from me' response becomes a rebuke reaching the level of physical battery since that is now a prosecutable 'federal hate crime'.

Of course that assumes a reasoned response instead of a automatic or reflex reaction. I know one guy who decked someone who laid hands on him and I've seen several people strike or kick out when they feel attacked with something as simple as a squirtgun.


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## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

It's been about 25 years since I've been hit on by another man, I'm 46 now. But it never really bothered me. Knowing what I do now, it should have, because the guys that were trying to get something from me when I was in my teens weren't gay, they were pedophiles, and that was before we even knew that there were such people as pedophiles. Or maybe not. Maybe it's natural for gay guys to be attracted to big strong 13 year old boys. Who the hell knows. Still it never seemed to require more form me than to tell them, "no," or ignore them entirely. 

Then again, when I see those guys walking the trails in Valley Forge after work looking for a hook up, while I'm riding my bike, and if one of them was to ... who knows what my reaction would be. But then again it's never happened there.

edit: maybe those experiences are why I am capable of putting myself in a woman's shoes, and choose not to use the trails as a pickup joint.


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## sfmtber (Aug 30, 2004)

Ultimately it seems like its all really relative. I mean, I can understand not wanting to be bothered all the time but I'm sure that at some point, all the moons and planets will line up, chatty mtb guy will have all the proper accruetaments and he will no longer be "annoying", he will be "confident", he will no longer be psycho he will be "mysterious" -in that rakish John Stamos way-, he will no longer be stalkerish he will be "persistent" and he will no longer be desperate single guy -since, according to this forum, the trails are full of- he will just be some "nice guy" that mtb girl met on the trails and 1 year later they will be exchanging vows on pink singlespeeds and it'll be story for the ages and the natives will sing folk songs about it...


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## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

Odds are that when the moons align, it'll turn out that both he and she will be married, and looking for a diversion, and a year later, two famillies will be destroyed. But at least the mtbers will be happy .....


..... till they cheat on each other.  God I love happy endings!


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## archer (May 20, 2004)

When the moons align how will you know? 

...after all there you both will be faceing the other direction with your pants down...


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## superjohnny (Aug 5, 2005)

Christine said:


> Where's that classic pick-up line that Hello Kitty suggested? I think it goes, "Which one of you baby-makers wants to swallow my love pudding?"
> 
> I believe a few couples got married as a result of that one.


Yup, this one worked for me three times. I'll have to try the "mustache rides 5 cents" one as well.

You guys are hilarious. Thanks you for the laugh.


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## hardtail05 (Oct 11, 2005)

*brilliant !!*

Hello Kitty, what a brilliant reply to the frustration many of us guys run into daily.

I, myself, would never "hit on" a girl out mountain biking (well being shy, I never considered "hitting on" them anywhere). I only end up talking to them if they express some sort of interest. When I'm riding Apex, MT falcon, Deer Creek, or wherever, I usualy only utter a quick "hi" out of courtesy to any women I run into becouse of what I fear might be a hostile reaction to any behavior that could be construed as being "too freindly".

The way some women are, as evidenced by some of these posts, has made me timid and even depressed when I come across a woman out on the trail and I think about how I may be perceived by her. I guess I also assume that any girl who rides probaly has about 10 or 12 other guys who would probably be in line to date her. I don't know what it's like to be hit on constantly while out on the trail, so maybe it does get old?

From what I've seen at the trailheads, though, people are generaly freindly; but I've overheard several conversations where guys "go down in flames" fairly regularly. I remember one occasion when a guy was coming on so strong that it seemed painfull to listen to. I, myself, prefer the quiet, respectfull approach, but it hasn't worked so far- LOL.

Anyway, I love your attitude and I wish others out there shared your insightfullness and equity in this whole torturous game we suffer through.....

P.S. saw your post about road biking out of Golden and the road from Idledale to Lookout Mt is partialy dirt and is called "Grapevine Road". The loop is best ridden clockwise, going up Grapevine and down Lookout .


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

It's really not that hard. Just don't announce that a post-ride meal is "not a date" if you decide you're going to make it into one right off the bat. Give the woman your phone # or e-mail, say you enjoyed riding with her and don't force the issue along. 

I was on my bike putting up flyers in the park the other day when a guy came up to me and started asking questions about the bike picture on the flyer. We got to talking and it turns out he's quite a bike nut himself. After a great chat about bikes, he gives me his phone # and says, "You can call me.....for anything." I thought that was cool. That one word- "anything"- made it clear. If he said it with an obvious wink or in a joking way, that would've been funny to boot! 

So there's one approach worth considering.


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## Maida7 (Apr 29, 2005)

Christine said:


> It's really not that hard. Just don't announce that a post-ride meal is "not a date" if you decide you're going to make it into one right off the bat. Give the woman your phone # or e-mail, say you enjoyed riding with her and don't force the issue along.
> 
> I was on my bike putting up flyers in the park the other day when a guy came up to me and started asking questions about the bike picture on the flyer. We got to talking and it turns out he's quite a bike nut himself. After a great chat about bikes, he gives me his phone # and says, "You can call me.....for anything." I thought that was cool. That one word- "anything"- made it clear. If he said it with an obvious wink or in a joking way, that would've been funny to boot!
> 
> So there's one approach worth considering.


I get the feeling that you like this guy. Will you call him?

I still feel this same senario could have easily gone the other way. If you hadn't been open to the idea of meeting this guy. Like if he had a big nose or he was wearing a Bush Chaney pin or you were just not in the mood. You could come away saying "What a creep! Anything? What the hell is anything supposed to mean? As If!"

Women are so fickel. Men on the other hand have a very short checklist. Something like: she's a she, check she's got a heartbeat, check she looked at me, check. Ok, your place or mine?

It's a wonder how anybody ever gets together. This is probably why guys refer to hooking up with a chick as "getting lucky". Lots of guys don't feel so lucky and are very intimidated by how unaproachable women can make themselves.


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

This guy was genuinely interested in discussing bikes. At no point did he make references to how I looked, ask me any personal questions, stare at my chest, or anything like that. So I didn't feel like a piece of meat. 

When he said "anything" it was just matter-of-factly. Not leery. I could conceivably call him to help with some trail work this weekend!  Hey, why not.


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## sfmtber (Aug 30, 2004)

i think the point maida7 was trying to make was that you thought it was a great approach because there was probably some attraction/interest there. if you had not been interested at all, for whatever reason (i.e. you weren't in that frame of mind, you were in a hurry, he was wearing a jelly belly jersey and high socks), your post could have easily been a "what the hell was this guy thinking" kind of post.

its all a matter of perspective really. get flowers from a guy you like, it's the greatest thing in the world. get flowers from a guy you don't like, then it's the most desperate pathetic thing that's ever been done.

and by the way, its not necessarily a girl thing either. guys are just as fickle...


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## Dude (Jan 12, 2004)

sfmtber said:


> and by the way, its not necessarily a girl thing either. guys are just as fickle...


we are not! wait maybe we are.. No we aren't... Let me ask if we are first before I reply! I was told we are but I think otherwise.. can I get back to you on this?

-Dude


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

He wasn't gorgeous, and he's probably 10+ years older. What got me was when he said "biking is a lifestyle" sometime during the chat. Plus, I didn't get any "red flag" feelings. All he did was act normal.

If a guy looks like Adonis and stares at a woman's chest the whole time, or is inappropriate somehow, she'd be like, "Just b/c he's hot doesn't give him the _right._" He's still a jerk.


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## Maida7 (Apr 29, 2005)

Christine said:


> He wasn't gorgeous, and he's probably 10+ years older. What got me was when he said "biking is a lifestyle" sometime during the chat. Plus, I didn't get any "red flag" feelings. All he did was act normal.
> 
> If a guy looks like Adonis and stares at a woman's chest the whole time, or is inappropriate somehow, she'd be like, "Just b/c he's hot doesn't give him the _right._" He's still a jerk.


I think you may be missing the point. It's great that he didn't come off as scary. Go for it, call him, enjoy yourself.

It's the opposite senario that is disapointing. When a guy gets the cold sholder because he comes off as creepy or wierd. There are lots of normal men who are just not that smooth when hitting on women. It doesn't make them lecherous creeps because thay can't act cool under presure. Cut us some slack. Normal, regular, decent guys are naturaly horny. It's The really sneaky guys don't appear horny. The honest good guys are staring at your breasts. We don't want to make you uncomfortable but we are programed to stare at breasts. Be happy that we think your sexy. Enjoy the attention, it won't last forever.

How do you think a guy feels when he gets a frightened and disgusted reaction for being atracted you. If he's confident enough to think he's normal he will probably think women are fickle b*tches. Worse, he thinks there's something actualy wrong with the way he acted and becomes ashamed of being atracted to women. See how things get all screwed up when were not honest with each other.


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## kawboy8 (May 5, 2004)

Maida7 said:


> I think you may be missing the point. It's great that he didn't come off as scary. Go for it, call him, enjoy yourself.
> 
> It's the opposite senario that is disapointing. When a guy gets the cold sholder because he comes off as creepy or wierd. There are lots of normal men who are just not that smooth when hitting on women. It doesn't make them lecherous creeps because thay can't act cool under presure. Cut us some slack. Normal, regular, decent guys are naturaly horny. It's The really sneaky guys don't appear horny. The honest good guys are staring at your breasts. We don't want to make you uncomfortable but we are programed to stare at breasts. Be happy that we think your sexy. Enjoy the attention, it won't last forever.
> 
> How do you think a guy feels when he gets a frightened and disgusted reaction for being atracted you. If he's confident enough to think he's normal he will probably think women are fickle b*tches. Worse, he thinks there's something actualy wrong with the way he acted and becomes ashamed of being atracted to women. See how things get all screwed up when were not honest with each other.


Good post. Women should take it as a compliment. Harmless flirting never hurt anyone...last time I checked. Not to mention it is kind of hot that women are into a sport such as mtn biking...especially if they ride well.


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

Women don't care if a guy *looks.* It's when he's doing it a lot and practically having a private conversation with our breasts that it makes us wonder how often he sees a real, live woman. 

Just b/c a guy's a gentleman doesn't mean he's perfect. Just b/c a guy's leering doesn't mean he's not great in other ways. But if you guys want to know what works, I'd suggest NOT leering!


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## zenmonkey (Nov 21, 2004)

What works: 

"We're gonna get drunk, we're gonna have a fight and then we're gonna get a shag." -overheard in the London Underground


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## sportsman (Mar 2, 2004)

hardtail05 said:


> P.S. saw your post about road biking out of Golden and the road from Idledale to Lookout Mt is partialy dirt and is called "Grapevine Road". The loop is best ridden clockwise, going up Grapevine and down Lookout .


Grapevine!

I could not remember that name. A favorite ride of mine, but I think that it's more fun going counterclockwise...


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## hardtail05 (Oct 11, 2005)

*Grapevine*

I chose clockwise becouse I'de rather take the dirt section at slow uphill speeds and be able to fly down Lookout. I'de hate to go down the dirt section of Grapevide at high speed and have my front tire wash out.



sportsman said:


> Grapevine!
> 
> I could not remember that name. A favorite ride of mine, but I think that it's more fun going counterclockwise...


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## hardtail05 (Oct 11, 2005)

Bikehigh said:


> And let's face it, that's why we ask girls out, to get in their pants. It's not so we can be friends. .


Woah !! that's not always true. The problem with that assumption is that you would have to apply it to when guys talk to other guys on the trail too. There are plenty of people who I talk to on the trail that I have no desire to see what's under their pants or not, including many female. I will speak for myself and say that I would like to get to know a girl quite well before I "get in her pants". I think the thing about seeing a girl you are possibly interested on the trail is that you already know that you have a common lifestyle/passion in common with biking. If it were just about sex, wouldn't it be easier to go to a bar ?


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## shport (Aug 12, 2005)

Cat's Pajamas said:


> Wear a shirt that says, "Mustache rides 5 cents"


That shirt won't work. Bikerchicks are a tough breed. For this mission, and this mission only, you MUST hit the Bat Cave and dust off the FBI (Female Body Inspector) t-shirt/jersey.

This is the only time I will sanction the use of this overly effective method north of the Mexican border.

Please. Limit the usage to one trailhead per week as it's effect is legendary and you'll have more trail bunnies than you can shake a seatpost at.

Thank me later and throw me your turndowns.

Shawn aka "The Trailhead Pimp"


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

hardtail05 said:


> ... you have a common lifestyle/passion in common with biking. If it were just about sex, wouldn't it be easier to go to a bar ?


Precisely.

To be attracted to and interested in someone who shares your passion for biking makes absolute sense. With that said, It should be of little wonder why it confuses so many women.


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## kawboy8 (May 5, 2004)

Hello Kitty said:


> Precisely.
> 
> To be attracted to and interested in someone who shares your passion for biking makes absolute sense. With that said, It should be of little wonder why it confuses so many women.


Well put


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## Bikergal (Oct 10, 2005)

Hello Kitty said:


> Precisely.
> 
> To be attracted to and interested in someone who shares your passion for biking makes absolute sense. With that said, It should be of little wonder why it confuses so many women.


I couldn't agree MORE, I wouldn't have thought this as much until I met my guy!!! 
We both share the love for the bike so much so that his place is consumed with BIKES!!!Gotta love that. 

As far as meeting girls on the trail well I met my boyfriend through a bike board (he was looking for a riding partner). I think its hard to meet someone when riding. Most people are riding and not really out there looking (ok this is my perspective so take it as you like) to meet their next boyfriend or girlfriend. If they are I think it just happens by chance!!! I think you have to be MORE active in your actions for something like LOVE to happen!!!


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## Maida7 (Apr 29, 2005)

Hello Kitty said:


> Precisely.
> 
> To be attracted to and interested in someone who shares your passion for biking makes absolute sense. With that said, It should be of little wonder why it confuses so many women.


Yes but its still about the sex. Sex with somebody who rides. "Make absolute sense" to share your passion with "someone who shares your passion".


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## kawboy8 (May 5, 2004)

Maida7 said:


> Yes but its still about the sex. Sex with somebody who rides. "Make absolute sense" to share your passion with "someone who shares your passion".


I think "duh" is in order. Everyone wants to be with someone they have things in common with. A mtn biker is going to be happier with someone who shares their passion....rather than hooking up with the Twinkie eating champion.


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

Maida7 said:


> Yes but its still about the sex.


And just what's the problem with that? Psst! Maida ... here's a newsflash for you: It's about the sex for girls too.


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## Bikergal (Oct 10, 2005)

Hello Kitty said:


> And just what's the problem with that? Psst! Maida ... here's a newsflash for you: It's about the sex for girls too.


SHHHH, Hello Kitty you have to keep that stuff to yourself!!   
We can't let the boys know all of our secrets RIGHT!!!


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## kawboy8 (May 5, 2004)

Bikergal said:


> SHHHH, Hello Kitty you have to keep that stuff to yourself!!
> We can't let the boys know all of our secrets RIGHT!!!


  ...we knew already. Our problem is we like to talk about it too much.


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## Bikergal (Oct 10, 2005)

kawboy8 said:


> ...we knew already. Our problem is we like to talk about it too much.


Damn!!! The cats out of the bag then!!!


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## Maida7 (Apr 29, 2005)

Hello Kitty said:


> And just what's the problem with that? Psst! Maida ... here's a newsflash for you: It's about the sex for girls too.


No problem. Sex is great. We should all have an honest attitude towards sex. You obviously do.

I guess I forget that real women are also interested sex. I'm married with children and I don't get laid often. I'm also not supposed to think that other women would be into having sex with me. It's a very slippery slope. Not that I stray, but I should avoid the temptation and keep my blinders on.


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## Bikergal (Oct 10, 2005)

Maida7 said:


> No problem. Sex is great. We should all have an honest attitude towards sex. You obviously do.
> 
> I guess I forget that real women are also interested sex. I'm married with children and I don't get laid often. I'm also not supposed to think that other women would be into having sex with me. It's a very slippery slope. Not that I stray, but I should avoid the temptation and keep my blinders on.


  Maybe you should try talking to your wife??? Just a thought!!


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

Bikergal said:


> Maybe you should try talking to your wife??? Just a thought!!


no kidding. Not all marriages with kids make it so the sex fountain dries up.I get so sick of guys saying that. For some of us, it just means rearrangeng the priorities and getting a little creative.    Or, lack of sex in a marriage is symptomatic of other bigger issues. Unless you have a newborn, then that's a good excuse for "not tonight".

~f


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## Maida7 (Apr 29, 2005)

formica said:


> no kidding. Not all marriages with kids make it so the sex fountain dries up.I get so sick of guys saying that. For some of us, it just means rearrangeng the priorities and getting a little creative.    Or, lack of sex in a marriage is symptomatic of other bigger issues. Unless you have a newborn, then that's a good excuse for "not tonight".
> 
> ~f


Relax ladies. We still have sex. In fact my wife is pregnant again and we love each other and were both physically capable. However, my sex life could be better. I'm not going into details. Lets just say that it's nothing unusual or extream. I would feel alot less vulnerable If sombody would post something like "Oh that sounds normal."

Boy this is getting personal. I came here to be the fly on the wall and observe you ladies and somehow I ended up under the mircoscope.


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## Bikergal (Oct 10, 2005)

Maida7 said:


> Relax ladies. We still have sex. In fact my wife is pregnant again and we love each other and were both physically capable. However, my sex life could be better. I'm not going into details. Lets just say that it's nothing unusual or extream. I would feel alot less vulnerable If sombody would post something like "Oh that sounds normal."
> 
> Boy this is getting personal. I came here to be the fly on the wall and observe you ladies and somehow I ended up under the mircoscope.


Don't be so sensentive, I don't think anyone was slamming you and I of course was just stating that maybe you should let your wife know your unhappiness. 
Congrats on the new pregnancy!!!!


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## archer (May 20, 2004)

Suddenly this thread is linking with the 'noseless saddle' threads that have popped up the past couple days in my mind. 

Hey Maida7 good luck on the next kidling.


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## kawboy8 (May 5, 2004)

"However, my sex life could be better."

Ok...I am going to say it. Try a 3some.


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

Maida7 said:


> Relax ladies. We still have sex. In fact my wife is pregnant again and we love each other and were both physically capable. However, my sex life could be better. I'm not going into details. Lets just say that it's nothing unusual or extream. I would feel alot less vulnerable If sombody would post something like "Oh that sounds normal."
> 
> Boy this is getting personal. I came here to be the fly on the wall and observe you ladies and somehow I ended up under the mircoscope.


haha, it only takes one little sperm to get pregnant. 
What I want to know is why men seem compelled to complain about thier (lack of) sex life on the internet?


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

formica said:


> What I want to know is why men seem compelled to complain about thier (lack of) sex life on the internet?


It's a friggin' mystery. But while we're waiting for the answer, perhaps you can enlighten us on why so many women want to discuss their menses on it?


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## zenmonkey (Nov 21, 2004)

formica said:


> haha, it only takes one little sperm to get pregnant.
> What I want to know is why men seem compelled to complain about thier (lack of) sex life on the internet?


You only 'hear' it on the the net, but men always talk about sex. And the next time you hear a guy talk about his bike, car, job, a sport, or shoes, just think he's talking about sex. It's a different view of the world. And chinese food, too. When he reads the fortune from the cookie remember to add "in bed" at the end of the text.

Maida - it is not normal - unless you are doing it at least 367 days a year, twice, till you faint, you are an underachiever. (PS like IQs, most people are lying about frequency, duration and ... gasp .... length) I'm sure de feline persuasion will straighten you out (Catzilla or Hello Kitty we are waiting)

In my case, my legs are long enough to reach the floor.


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## hardtail05 (Oct 11, 2005)

zenmonkey said:


> And chinese food, too. When he reads the fortune from the cookie remember to add "in bed" at the end of the text.
> 
> .


There is a new twist on fortune cookies: instead of saying "in bed", some are now saying "in Boulder"


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

zenmonkey said:


> (PS like IQs, most people are lying about frequency, duration and ... gasp .... length) I'm sure de feline persuasion will straighten you out (Catzilla or Hello Kitty we are waiting)


You'll have to rely on Catzilla for the fine points. All I'll say, is that sex, is mental.

Want it more? Want it better? Appeal to her _mind_.

And that concludes my contribution to this thread.

Night all.


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## Maida7 (Apr 29, 2005)

formica said:


> haha, it only takes one little sperm to get pregnant.
> What I want to know is why men seem compelled to complain about thier (lack of) sex life on the internet?


Sorry, I was just being honest. I guess I have a big mouth. I'm gonna shut up now.


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## kawboy8 (May 5, 2004)

Maida7 said:


> Sorry, I was just being honest. I guess I have a big mouth. I'm gonna shut up now.


Relax dude...some people get their pants in a wad pretty easy.


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## catzilla (Jan 31, 2004)

Hello Kitty said:


> Want it more? Want it better? Appeal to her _mind_.


Ding frickin' ding lady.

General observation:

When dudes are all, "Waaaaah, my wife doesn't put out anymore", their wives usually can't remember the last time they went on a non-kid non-family non-dinner-and-a-movie date.

When chicks are all, "Waaaaah, my husband doesn't give me affection", their husbands usually can't remember the last time they were met at the door with a rock 'em sock 'em BJ.


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## kawboy8 (May 5, 2004)

catzilla said:


> Ding frickin' ding lady.
> 
> General observation:
> 
> ...


BJ ?


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## Hello Kitty (Sep 3, 2004)

catzilla said:


> Ding frickin' ding lady.
> 
> General observation:
> 
> ...


The finer points, indeed. Rock 'em sock 'em.  Excellent post, as usual, Catzilla.

I thank you. As will Mr. Kitty, in about six hours.


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## AndrewTO (Mar 30, 2005)

Hello Kitty said:


> The finer points, indeed. Rock 'em sock 'em.  Excellent post, as usual, Catzilla.
> 
> I thank you. As will Mr. Kitty, in about six hours.


Oh wow, has this thread ever become corrupt!  I like it!!!! 

Um, Kitty, shouldn't that be Mr. _Lion_ or Mr. _Tiger_, or something a little more "manly", yet still feline? (snicker)


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## Dude (Jan 12, 2004)

catzilla said:


> Ding frickin' ding lady.
> 
> General observation:
> 
> their husbands usually can't remember the last time they were met at the door with a rock 'em sock 'em BJ.


This happens? What have I been missing??? Dear we have to talk. Yes after the date without the kids..

-Dude


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