# She killed my passion



## Tracerboy (Oct 13, 2002)

Hi, fellas!! 

This is my first post here on passion, although I have been reading the forums occasionally, I’ve never felt the urge to post something here, right up until now. Well here’s my story, was a racer back in the late 90s, but didn’t have the skills to go anywhere. This kinda hit me hard at one time, so I quit biking. 

Anyway, the withdrawal symptoms were getting intolerable, as was my waistline.. hehe, so I bought this nice turner and started ripping trails again. As I was getting used to coasting around without any performance pressure whatsoever, along comes my wife (background in track and field) and decides to join me. A dream scenario? You’d think so. But here’s the catch.

My wife caught up on the technical bits so darn fast that she started racing this year. It takes up all her time. Only training, training, training, and nagging why I won’t train as well. And when I DO train with her, she has to ride her intervals, leaving me drips, and then ridiculing me about it later. On top of that, she has in her first season won 4 local races, and placed top 5 in a point-to-point race. I am not even feeling happy for her, I resent it. She doesn’t even do her part of the household chores anymore, and lets me massage her, without wanting to have intercourse. It drives me focking nuts- so much I have been getting night terrors. 

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, I haven’t gotten a decent preen-up. I have actually caught myself thinking about how great it would be if my wife just got run over by a steamroller. 

WTF am I gonna do?


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## craigery (Oct 20, 2006)

Wow. That would be tough to deal with. First of all, you should change your thinking and be happy that she's doing so awesome. Second, you need to have a serious talk with her and tell her exactly what you typed up here. Tell her that its hurting your marriage. Tell her that you are happy for her and support her love of mountain biking but that your marriage needs to come first and you need some attention. Sorry buddy. I hope things get better. Don't give up on your marriage.

On the other hand, I was like your wife with road riding last year. I wouldnt go on rides with my wife because I didnt get a workout. Since getting into mountain biking, I just took her for a ride the other day and she loved it. I didnt get the work out that I normally do but I just love riding and I'm not going to race so there is no need to ride hard every single time.

Again, dont give up on her or your marriage. I hope things get better for you.


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## chad1433 (Apr 5, 2004)

First off, you've got to tell this to her, not us.

Second, maybe find a role for yourself as her trainer that makes you invaluable to acheivieng her goals. Get your CMT cert, Personal Trainer lisence, Nutrition, whatever. Really, you don't have to be better than her, just bring something equal to the relationship. You probably do most of the wrenching on the bikes, so be that guy. There's nothing wrong with that. It's all about mutual support and respect, no matter which role you fulfill.


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## zzsean (Nov 3, 2004)

lol. one of the funnier passion posts.


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## mattbikeboy (Jun 8, 2004)

chad1433 said:


> First off, you've got to tell this to her, not us.
> 
> Second, maybe find a role for yourself as her trainer that makes you invaluable to acheivieng her goals. Get your CMT cert, Personal Trainer lisence, Nutrition, whatever. Really, you don't have to be better than her, just bring something equal to the relationship. You probably do most of the wrenching on the bikes, so be that guy. There's nothing wrong with that. It's all about mutual support and respect, no matter which role you fulfill.


That sounds like some cool advice. I might add, you could buy a nice digital SLR and start taking tons of photos when you're out riding together. She can be doing her training loops and intervals while you are scouting cool shots and artistic angles to photo her from. That way you're outside riding together with different and non-competing goals. Her success won't last forever and this way you'll have some nice memories later on in life.

mbb


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## Tracerboy (Oct 13, 2002)

Look, I appreciate every attempt to encourage me, show me ways out of this etc. but this is a lot tougher than just "changing attitude" How many of you guys are so adaptive that you could change your inner personality in a split second? Yeah, I know it doesn't sound nice that I don't feel happy celebrating all her victories. Yeah, maybe I am envious. Yeah, maybe I just am that focking bitter, miserable, egotistical and jealous son of a ***** who can't find pleasure being the personal fitness guru of his wife. That insight gives me NOTHING- ain't no remote control or adjustment knob on my back, turning my head around. 

Here's what. If you have that perfect recipe on how to reset my personality, I'd be listening carefully. But until then, let's just say that it is somewhat unrealistic. Which leaves us with status quo; I am not happy playing second fiddle, and I am not happy being reminded of it all the time. I mean- COME ON, I quit racing because I was unsatisfied with all the negative feedback- or the lack of self-reassurance. Now that I've finally managed to get my fat bum onto a saddle again, it kinda figures the last thing I need right now is an anorectic spouse chugging away at my self-esteem. And if you think I am being a chauvinist- It is me standing with a "¤#% apron (park tool) while fixing HER bike. F..ck it. Really.


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## Ken in KC (Jan 12, 2004)

*Oh, that makes it easy....*



TommyTiger said:


> Look, I appreciate every attempt to encourage me, show me ways out of this etc. but this is a lot tougher than just "changing attitude" How many of you guys are so adaptive that you could change your inner personality in a split second? Yeah, I know it doesn't sound nice that I don't feel happy celebrating all her victories. Yeah, maybe I am envious. Yeah, maybe I just am that focking bitter, miserable, egotistical and jealous son of a ***** who can't find pleasure being the personal fitness guru of his wife. That insight gives me NOTHING- ain't no remote control or adjustment knob on my back, turning my head around.
> 
> Here's what. If you have that perfect recipe on how to reset my personality, I'd be listening carefully. But until then, let's just say that it is somewhat unrealistic. Which leaves us with status quo; I am not happy playing second fiddle, and I am not happy being reminded of it all the time. I mean- COME ON, I quit racing because I was unsatisfied with all the negative feedback- or the lack of self-reassurance. Now that I've finally managed to get my fat bum onto a saddle again, it kinda figures the last thing I need right now is an anorectic spouse chugging away at my self-esteem. And if you think I am being a chauvinist- It is me standing with a "¤#% apron (park tool) while fixing HER bike. F..ck it. Really.


Grow the fvck up and get over yourself. Your wife is a better rider than you and you're not man enough to accept it. Too bad for her.


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## fsp (Feb 15, 2006)

Ok, first of all, I hate to make light of your situation, but this has to be the best first post ever.

Now, the passive-agressive way of solving this would probably be to join (or make up) a group of riders, and refer to it as "The Mens Riding Club". Ride with them as often as you like. Preferrably often enough that you're too exhausted to ride with her. When she figures it out that you're not playing her game anymore, simply tell her "I know you're very serious about it. I was serious too once. Now, I ride for enjoyment. ...especially since I'm not riding you for enjoyment anymore." That ought to get the ball rolling.


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## apex381 (Jul 9, 2006)

Jeeze, 
This sounds like the exact same problem I was having with my GF. She started Tea Kwon Do because she wanted something to do besides work, but she's a perfectionist and an insane competitor so it has naturally taken over her life. She now trains for tkd for at least 2 hours a day is usually at the Do-Jong training most of the weekend and insists on hanging out alone with her TKD buddies (other people who have no life other than TKD). What sounds really familiar about your case is the demanding of massages and similar rubbing/attention without anything in return. That was three months ago. Things are MUCH MUCH better now and she is still active in TKD but no longer obsessive... go to counseling. If you guys really care about your relationship you need to go to counseling!


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## zzsean (Nov 3, 2004)

TommyTiger said:


> Look, I appreciate every attempt to encourage me, show me ways out of this etc. but this is a lot tougher than just "changing attitude" How many of you guys are so adaptive that you could change your inner personality in a split second? Yeah, I know it doesn't sound nice that I don't feel happy celebrating all her victories. Yeah, maybe I am envious. Yeah, maybe I just am that focking bitter, miserable, egotistical and jealous son of a ***** who can't find pleasure being the personal fitness guru of his wife. That insight gives me NOTHING- ain't no remote control or adjustment knob on my back, turning my head around.
> 
> Here's what. If you have that perfect recipe on how to reset my personality, I'd be listening carefully. But until then, let's just say that it is somewhat unrealistic. Which leaves us with status quo; I am not happy playing second fiddle, and I am not happy being reminded of it all the time. I mean- COME ON, I quit racing because I was unsatisfied with all the negative feedback- or the lack of self-reassurance. Now that I've finally managed to get my fat bum onto a saddle again, it kinda figures the last thing I need right now is an anorectic spouse chugging away at my self-esteem. And if you think I am being a chauvinist- It is me standing with a "¤#% apron (park tool) while fixing HER bike. F..ck it. Really.


you were serious in the first post? who knew?

My experience in mountain biking is that there are always people stronger, more motivated and more talented than me. That doesn't make the pursuit any less fun. The fact that your wife is one of those for you shouldn't mean anything unless your ego has had a long life of being battered and squashed by her already. Has it?

I would love to have a stronger rider to be able to go out an ride with on a regular basis. you have the advantage of being mechanically competent so just ride at your own pace knowing that if you have a breakdown you can fix it and if your wife has a breakdown she will wait for you to catch up.

sounds like you have some issues that this is just an excuse to vent.


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

Several thoughts. 

1. You are getting chicked by your wife and you can't handle it. I know of about 1000 guys that would trade getting chicked by thier hard core racer wife for their mall loving sofa surfers any day.


2. Internet forums are a really lame way to deal with marital problems. It's as bad as a chick gossiping to anyone who will listen, about how lame her spouse is. I'd suggest asking around in the real world for a good marriage counselor, and go. If she won't go, go yourself and figure what you can be doing different for yourself. I'm sure it can't be all about her.

formica


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## Ken in KC (Jan 12, 2004)

*^^^That's What I Meant^^^*



formica said:


> Two thoughts.
> 
> 1. You are getting chicked by your wife and you can't handle it. I know of about 1000 guys that would trade getting chicked by thier hard core racer wife for their mall loving sofa surfers any day.
> 
> ...


I just communicated the message differently.


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## wickerman1 (Dec 24, 2003)

Trade your MTB for a road bike. 
Then you don't hav to ride with her or listen to her if its an issue.
My wife is better then me at alot of things. If she was a better rider then me, i would be proud of her. And i'm not a great rider so that says alot for her. Her problem is fear of coming off the bike. One bad fall did it for her and regaining her confidence has never happened since. easy shared trails riding slow is all I can ride with her. Most of the time I ride solo.
You obviously have issues with women being better at something then you.
The one thing I don't agree with though is her ridiculing you about it. that's a low blow to anyone. That issue should be brought up.
But seriously, if you despise riding with her then get a road bike or take up something different that she isn't doing.
So this question I ask. Who did all the household chores when you were racing?
Was it 50/50 split ?


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

Ken in KC said:


> I just communicated the message differently.


LOL, at least I didn't send him to the WL for advice from the other side. :nono: :eekster:


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

> the last thing I need right now is an anorectic spouse chugging away at my self-esteem


no one can do this unless you allow it to happen


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

I can understand being pissed that she's mocking you, but the rest of it sounds hunky-dory.

Sounds a bit like the relationship I have with my sister- as kids, she was so horse-obsessed that I felt woefully inadequate taking riding lessons with her, so I quit. I suspect she feels the same way towards the idea of biking with me. We tend to avoid each other's hobbies as it brings out a bit of competitiveness. Not something we've ever discussed, but I can sense it. We can't operate as a team with anything. It's a shame.

We've mellowed a bit as adults, and I'd be thrilled to pieces if she'd let me teach her mtb. But if she suddenly became _better_ at it than me....?? :skep: That might suck.......at first. Then I'd have to start training in secret in an effort to at least stay at her level 

I could see it becoming a friendly competition, actually. Hell, it's not like she'd be the only one in front of me


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## BushwackerinPA (Aug 10, 2006)

wow I laughed and am jealous I have huge ego but could totally accept my wife being faster but hey heres the thing you for sure have a 'trophy" wife every pun in the book intended. hahahah

I actually know a guy back here in the burgh that has wife like your much faster than he and man he seemed happy as a clam.


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## popnfresh (Sep 17, 2006)

It seems to me that there are deeper issues than your wife being better than you in mtb. this is a convenient and easier target for your anger, but dude, you got to find that problem and root it out or youll go down. 
my two cents
I was going to suggest that you consider being her Bob Kersee to her Jackee joiner Kersee, and not be Ike Turner to her Tina.
JD


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## craigery (Oct 20, 2006)

TommyTiger said:


> Look, I appreciate every attempt to encourage me, show me ways out of this etc. but this is a lot tougher than just "changing attitude" How many of you guys are so adaptive that you could change your inner personality in a split second? Yeah, I know it doesn't sound nice that I don't feel happy celebrating all her victories. Yeah, maybe I am envious. Yeah, maybe I just am that focking bitter, miserable, egotistical and jealous son of a ***** who can't find pleasure being the personal fitness guru of his wife. That insight gives me NOTHING- ain't no remote control or adjustment knob on my back, turning my head around.
> 
> Here's what. If you have that perfect recipe on how to reset my personality, I'd be listening carefully. But until then, let's just say that it is somewhat unrealistic. Which leaves us with status quo; I am not happy playing second fiddle, and I am not happy being reminded of it all the time. I mean- COME ON, I quit racing because I was unsatisfied with all the negative feedback- or the lack of self-reassurance. Now that I've finally managed to get my fat bum onto a saddle again, it kinda figures the last thing I need right now is an anorectic spouse chugging away at my self-esteem. And if you think I am being a chauvinist- It is me standing with a "¤#% apron (park tool) while fixing HER bike. F..ck it. Really.


Seriously, you are ridiculous. People are on here trying to give you advise because you opened up to a problem and then you turn around and yell at all of us because you dont want the advise. Grow up. If you want to open up then have an open ear to the advise. Get over yourself and be happy that you have a wife that loves to excercise and be in shape. I bet a lot of guys into riding wished their wife would ride or excercise or something. Once again, get over yourself, be happy for her and grow up.


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## Drewdane (Dec 19, 2003)

Ken in KC said:


> Grow the fvck up and get over yourself. Your wife is a better rider than you and you're not man enough to except it. Too bad for her.


What he said. Except it's "accept".:thumbsup:


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## Drewdane (Dec 19, 2003)

formica said:


> Several thoughts.
> 
> 1. You are getting chicked by your wife and you can't handle it. I know of about 1000 guys that would trade getting chicked by thier hard core racer wife for their mall loving sofa surfers any day.


Ain't _that_ the truth! :madman:


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## Ken in KC (Jan 12, 2004)

*I don't know what the hell you're talking about.....*



Drewdane said:


> What he said. Except it's "accept".:thumbsup:


Except I'll have to accept that I have ninja editing skillz (with a 'z' biatch).

Thanks for the grammar lesson.

Ken


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## bigbore (May 11, 2006)

if this is real: your a loser, get over it, talk to your wife and be a man.

if this is real: its pretty funny


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## Biggie (Dec 11, 2004)

*This is way too easy...*

I never checked your signature to see if you are American, but even if you're not the answer triple sow-cowed across your television screen...

You, my good friend, are Tanya Harding(all American girl) and your wife is Nancy Kerrigan (that can't do nothing wrong upper class beootch from New England). You need to hire yourself a pipe wielding thug to limit your wife's "talent". Just think how easy it'll be to "get a leg up" when your wife's leg is suspended from a pully! The best part of this solution is that if you get caught you get to do porno!

I believe Axel Rose also supported this philosophy, "I used to love her but I had to kill her; she's buried right in my backyard!" Apparently, Axel's wife finished 20 laps to his 19 at the 24hrs of Slickrock! That's what I hear...


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## Drewdane (Dec 19, 2003)

Ken in KC said:


> Except I'll have to accept that I have ninja editing skillz (with a 'z' biatch).
> 
> Thanks for the grammar lesson.
> 
> Ken


 ....


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## bsdc (May 1, 2006)

Go find a nice private place to cry. When you're done, get yourself together, and start taking care of business. There's no magic switch. No one's going to tell you some quick easy secret. You just have to butch-up and do the work. In the end, you'll regain your wife's respect.


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## SlimTwisted (Jun 14, 2006)

Man for a supportive community, everyone's coming down pretty hard. Jealousy is a destructive thing to live with in life, worsened only by the close proximity of this situation. It seems to me like a little more then Tommy being checked by his spouse that’s getting on his nerves, it also sounds like the relationship is becoming a bit lopsided in the form of him being forced to maintain her bikes, give massages, and alter his schedule to allow for her racing. Sounds to me like the two of you would be better off going to a marriage counselor or a therapist so that these issues can be confronted (if going to her directly isn’t going to resolve anything for you). I for one love my adventure sports to escape the pressures of domestic life; an intrusion that results in such competitive pressure/ alterations in home life would upset anyone. Good luck to you man, sounds like a rough spot.


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## wickerman1 (Dec 24, 2003)

SlimTwisted said:


> Man for a supportive community, everyone's coming down pretty hard.


The reason is he basically opened up and seems to have asked for advise. people tried to help and he basically told everyone off for doing so.
That is why everybody has decided to get nasty about it.


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## jabpn (Jun 21, 2004)

*you've got to be kidding me...*

Why did you ever get married? Do you have any concept whatsoever of what unconditional love means? Seriously. People have been trying to help you out and then you "shout" them down. Your solution to your own lack of self esteem becomes a problem with your wife??????? There's only one problem here that needs "changing". That's your self esteem. No matter who you turn to the problem will never be resolved. Then after you lose your wife, and rightfully so, you'll sink even further into your behavior, reinforcing it, and constantly blaming everybody but yourself.

So you're using this corner to whine and moan about how your wife is better than you??!!!???? Guess what, she is!!!! Try worrying about things you can control and stop about those things you can't. One thing you can control, telling your wife how you feel. If you don't like it when she "insults" then tell her to stop and you won't tolerate it. For all you know maybe she thinks you're more capable than you're being and thinks this will get you "up to speed". But...wait...you don't know do you? Hmmm....what's that....you didin't talk to her? Well...(eye roll)....no wonder.

TALK TO YOUR WIFE ABOUT THE REAL ISSUES. Get over the jealousy. Now that you know about the jealousy issue it is no longer tolerable. The other issues are what's probably stirring the resentment. Those can be worked on by COMMUNICATION.


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## rafdog (Jun 16, 2006)

She didnt kill jack...you're doing it to yourself.


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

> ...forced to maintain her bikes, give massages, and alter his schedule to allow for her racing.


oh puhleeze. I'm sure the word "no" is somewhere in his vocabulary, he's just not using it.


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## wickerman1 (Dec 24, 2003)

*Formica on a lighter note*



formica said:


> oh puhleeze. I'm sure the word "no" is somewhere in his vocabulary, he's just not using it.


I've noticed your avatar seems like I have the same issue.... its called selective hearing 
"lalalalalal I'm not listening" lol


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## mattbikeboy (Jun 8, 2004)

I guess I know why your wife enjoys beating you so much. I wish my wife would get out and ride more. I rather enjoy following behind her.  

mbb


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## 92SE-R (Sep 23, 2005)

Small Pee Pee syndrome. LOL. I can't believe you want to divorce your wife because she is faster than you.


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## davec113 (May 31, 2006)

TommyTiger said:


> Look, I appreciate every attempt to encourage me, show me ways out of this etc. but this is a lot tougher than just "changing attitude" How many of you guys are so adaptive that you could change your inner personality in a split second? Yeah, I know it doesn't sound nice that I don't feel happy celebrating all her victories. Yeah, maybe I am envious. Yeah, maybe I just am that focking bitter, miserable, egotistical and jealous son of a ***** who can't find pleasure being the personal fitness guru of his wife. That insight gives me NOTHING- ain't no remote control or adjustment knob on my back, turning my head around.
> 
> Here's what. If you have that perfect recipe on how to reset my personality, I'd be listening carefully. But until then, let's just say that it is somewhat unrealistic. Which leaves us with status quo; I am not happy playing second fiddle, and I am not happy being reminded of it all the time. I mean- COME ON, I quit racing because I was unsatisfied with all the negative feedback- or the lack of self-reassurance. Now that I've finally managed to get my fat bum onto a saddle again, it kinda figures the last thing I need right now is an anorectic spouse chugging away at my self-esteem. And if you think I am being a chauvinist- It is me standing with a "¤#% apron (park tool) while fixing HER bike. F..ck it. Really.


It sounds like you know how you SHOULD feel and behave about most of this. I agree, the chores and not puttin' out arent cool, but other than that you should be happy for her and all that. I'd love to find a girl that could kick my butt on a mt bike...

OK, so here's what you do... decide how you want to act or what you should say on a continuous basis, and do it even if you feel differently. Don't be a slave to your unreasonable emotions. Notice how much better you feel when you've done or said the "right" thing. After much repitition you're emotional reactions will change. A LOT of repititions...

It might help to analyze why you feel jelous or pissed off, you need to _*realistically*_ be able to tell if your feelings are valid, or a result of unhealthy emotions. If what you are feeling comes from negativity, recognize that and don't allow it to control your thoughts, speach or actions. You need to be able to step outside of the situation and analyze it like an impartial observer.

If all that doesnt help, try drugs! :thumbsup:


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## hugh088 (Feb 1, 2004)

You were a loser in the 90's when you raced
Your a loser when you you bitcih about your wife winning.
Your a loser with the drivel you spewed here
Your a..............................loser.
Don't worry though you can be a winner. First decide to be a winner and then get some help doing it. Easiest way to be a winner set some goals that you can achive. Not simple goals just goals that if you work at can come in first. In this you should compete like a hunter, a sport when only one of the competitors knows he's playing. That way when you lose there's no one to dump on you but when you win the only person that counts knows you won. Work up to real life from there.


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## M.J. (Feb 23, 2004)

if she's deadly serious about racing mtb it's only a matter of time before she finds this thread


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## scorpionwoman (Jul 7, 2006)

I see two possibilities here.

One: you are married to someone who is totally inconsiderate and self-centered. Well, certainly that's the picture you paint. Is this really true? No, it cannot be ignored as a possibility; I myself ended up divorcing someone who is a total control freak. No amount of counseling, reading of books, and communicating could change the situation. It was elemental to his personality, and he was not able to change it. And in the meantime, I and my children were suffering many ill effects.
So there *are* scenarios where it is best for all to just get away.

Two: you are suffering the ill effects of having butted heads on an ongoing basis with someone you love. You are highly frustrated and cannot figure out what "went wrong." Sure, you might need to vent about it, but venting is not going to fix anything. And spewing hatred is not going to fix anything, either. (Run her over with a steamroller??) If you are that angry, you might need to get off by yourself for a while and get calmed down. But then you are going to have to get help. It is very difficult to see through this kind of frustration and objectively analyze a situation that you are caught up in. It is worth the money to hire someone to help you with that task, and it would be ideal if your wife joins you. (If she won't, then that might point towards this falling under category one, above.)

One final thought: try to use this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself, and to become a better person.

Good luck,
clair


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## stingray_coach (Jun 27, 2006)

*My wife rides pretty well*

Most of the time she rides better than I do, is more gutsy on the tech DH stuff and has more endurance than I do on climbs. Not only does she mention it to me, but she makes fun. I think competative women are hot. Maybe once in a while try a little harder to ride at her level and stop being a baby about her skills and your lack of them. Like someone said, I would rather have her doing that then sitting on the sofa picking at her boils.


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## LyNx (Oct 26, 2004)

So I too am curious about the answer to this question. Were you married when you tried your hand at racing or single? If you were married were the tables turned? I think it is kinda unlikely you were married, 'cause your current wife sounds like the type of girl who would have joined you back then and the same thing would have happened.



wickerman1 said:


> So this question I ask. Who did all the household chores when you were racing?
> Was it 50/50 split ?


Seems to me you are in a reverse roll and just can't handle it. Big deal your wife is better at something than you, if you don't enjoy riding with her don't. Do you have kids? If you don't have kids start riding as suggested with another groups that rides for fun and enjoy the riding.

As for the "Do unto me as I won't do unto you" well there's a simple word that works seriously well in these situations - *NO* - it's that simple.
To the putting you down 'cause you can't keep up with the wife when she's riding well that is uncalled for and you need to tell her.

Sad fack is you need to admit to the fact that your a male that has a problem with a woman doing something better than you if it's not crotchet, needle point, painting nails etc. Hey maybe take up one of those hobbies "normally reserved for Women" in your books and you might be good at it.

Most guys would kill for a wife that rocked a MTB, the ones on here at least.


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## Judd97 (Jun 6, 2005)

Ken in KC said:


> I just communicated the message differently.


I sorta like your way better.


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## fred3 (Jan 12, 2004)

Well you could start by leaving out your saxual problems when you post.

As for the rest...either live with it or not. Good luck.

For a first post I'd rate this a medium strange. The reason: While it's about someone who's passionite about biking the theme is more Dear Abby. I tend to feel that personal problems don't need to be aired among potentially hundreds of thousands of strangers. Hmmm, perhaps that's why I can't stand people who talk so loud on their cell phone in public. Private problems and discussions need to be kept private.


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## Tracerboy (Oct 13, 2002)

*Easier said than done, guys.*

Some of you actually made some replies which were solution-oriented. Psychology ABC for Tommy Tiger. This is how I understood the essence of it.



davec113 said:


> 1. Be a robot
> 2. Analyze what pi$$es u off
> 3. Assign legitimate feeling/ illegitimate feeling to result
> 4. Allow yourself to express the legitimate feelings, phase out the illegitimate ones





hugh088 said:


> a. Decide to be a winner
> b. Find do-able goals
> c. Remove outer consequences should u fail
> d. Work it up from there.





fsp said:


> - Join _The Men's Riding Club_
> - ride with them, not with her
> - she will wonder
> - Tell her why u ride with them
> ...


I'd like to make a few comments. First of all; I understand that knowledge of self is the stepping stone to making changes. However, the way I see it, it is not a guarantee. I do know a little bit about why I feel the way I do, but I still can't control myself in every situation.

I decided to bail out when I quit cycling back in the days. I simply dropped out on situations which brought out the worst in me, without having to change. But now it is coming back to haunt me, and I simply don't have a personality which can handle it.

I feel really sorry for myself, and I want everybody else to do so, as well. I guess that is why I can't be more laidback about it when my wife rips my legs apart. The only antidote seems to actually be the best. If I can't be the best, well at least somebody should know how important this is to me, right? This game is probably played out somewhere in my consciousness, and ultimately, I get what I am seeking. Which leads us to what Hugh088 said: you gotta decide to be a winner.

Well, Hugh, it seems to me that it is easier to just bail out again, than to find a niche where I can excel. See, I haven't got world class material. Pretty darn good in some departments, but there is always some fockers who are better.

The sad thing is that I really enjoyed riding for fun. I didn't start biking to be Lance focking Armstrong. I started because I totally get a kick out of riding. Unfortunately, due to my wife (or my issues, depending on viewpoint), it seems that I have to quit to regain my composure.

So maybe I could decide to be another guy. Be Clint Eastwood. The question still remains- when Clint Eastwood is out riding with his GF, will he withstand the calling of the inner child?

fsp offers the best solution: go ride with someone else. That is a middle ground between quitting, and changing. Thanks, fsp. I will do it!!


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## pimpbot (Dec 31, 2003)

*Sounds like...*



TommyTiger said:


> Hi, fellas!!
> 
> This is my first post here on passion, although I have been reading the forums occasionally, I've never felt the urge to post something here, right up until now. Well here's my story, was a racer back in the late 90s, but didn't have the skills to go anywhere. This kinda hit me hard at one time, so I quit biking.
> 
> ...


You killed your own passion with your inflated ego. Man up and take the blame for your own issues, and don't lay your own issues on your wife.

Like the others have said here, you can give up and live the rest of your life as a miserable fock, grasping at the straws that make up your self-esteem, OR you can man up, do some hard work in counceling with and without your wife, and be a happier person at the end of it all once you figure out a healthy way to deal with it all.

I'm not trying to cut you down. I just think you have some serious personal issues to work out (hence, you're unhappy), and you're going to need help doing it. Listen to the therpaist, don't discount what s/he has to say and work it out.


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## miSSionary (Jun 29, 2005)

If you are serious about this and mad cause she's good at what you may have gotten her into...
No reason to reply...Your feelings are hurt and the selfishness won't change until you seek therapy.
Or your a troll and there is no reason to reply as you will just poor more gas on the fire.
Either way, you chose to take an activity up again and your spous joined you...GO BANG YOUR HEAD INTO A WALL :madman: AS YOU JUST DON'T SEEM TO GET IT. Good luck with being you, if we could all be so lucky as to have true partnership with our loved ones getting more involved in our worlds...tuff life. Don't like that; suck it up and realize you are a bitter washed up racer?? Better?? No, I will not feel sorry for you. I lost a wife to the bike and now I have found someone to support me...LIKE YOUR WIFE DID when she tried to bike with you...You say you can ride just to ride but if that were true this would not be a thread and you would be in love, instead you are jelous of the one you love most. Yes this is harsh, it is also the kind of train wreck that separated me from my ex...jelousy. Share with her...don't compete with her.


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## forkboy (Apr 20, 2004)

TommyTiger said:


> Hi, fellas!!


Wow - I initially tried to be helpful, but having read some of your replies, that's gone.

Get divorced. You obvioulsy don't deserver her, so go down to the bowlarama and find yourself a nice little bar-**** to hang out with.

There are plenty of Men out there who will be more than happy to support your ex-wife.


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## rzims (Sep 7, 2005)

I agree with most of the posts, I would be thrilled if my wife spent time on the bike instead of the mall, but I married her for who she is, not what she does or what she looks like.
The one thing I didn't see anyone mention is the fact that if you're getting beat on a regular basis ( as I do by several of my riding friends) the answer isn't to whine about it, but to get your butt out there and ride more and train harder. 
I can totally understand about hating to get your butt kicked, I'm as competitive as anyone I know. So when I go for a ride and get my a$$ handed to me, it motivates me to train that much harder so it doesn't happen again.

Of course everything else mentioned about the taunting and the massages and the lack of help around the house.....well, I think you need to see a professional about that and not look to a bunch of mt bikers for help

Good luck


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## dzm3 (Nov 29, 2005)

TommyTiger said:


> COME ON, I quit racing because I was unsatisfied with all the negative feedback- or the lack of self-reassurance.


I thikn you've answered your own question here. Just re-read your own words. Are you that insecure and vain that you *quit* the sport and acing just cos you can't win and look down on everyone else all the time? This has nothing to do with your wife, really. It *is* a problem with your attitude and personality. You had this problem with racing and not winning in general. Now it just hit home a little closer and on a more personal level - you're competing against your wife, not other dudes. I bet the fact that you're loosing to a woman is hurting your ego, and lack of selfconfidence.
Just man up and ride harder and more, and maybe you'd catch up to her. After all, ask any racer or rider, and they will all, reagrdless of what level they are at, tell you, that the easiest and quickest way to get stronger and faster is to ride with someone who's faster and stronger than you are. You're actually lucky, you have a training partner right there, always willing and ready to go riding. 
Most of us here would kill for that. I know I do, and I think a lot of other people do to struggling to find someone regular to ride with, and end up going alone, which isn't bad sometimes, but it's nice to ride with few peole and share the fun.

Anyway. I think instead of using your wife as a scape goat, you should look deeper into yourself and evaluate what is the real issue there. Is it her beating you, or you not being able to handle the fact that *anyone* beats you, especially a woman?


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## davec113 (May 31, 2006)

Actually the key point is:

Act differently than you always have, and see if it make you feel better.

I'd also have to agree w/ seeking professional help. Your ego is dominating your life, and its just make-believe, like a little girl's imaginary friend  

Stop being such a pu$$y... you're responsible for every aspect of your life.


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## FoulMouthFool (Dec 29, 2005)

my advice:

1. start training with her

2. start a good stacked cycle of juice

3. start outrunning her

4. With your newfound manliness, she will want to be training on the jock some too

5. Flex and tell her to get off her ass and clean something before you have to pull a rage on that ass


ALL PROBLEMS SOLVED. You're welcome.


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## BrandonNorCal (Sep 16, 2006)

F her. Her training hard and being a kick ass rider is cool as hell. Her *****ing about you not training even thought you're out on the bike and demanding massages but not giving it up... who needs that. Tell her how you feel honestly without raising your voice and fighting. If things don't change for the better little by little and if you go a month without "happy ending" for you then next time she askes for a massage tell her "actually I'm gonna go masturbate." You shouldn't be trying to hold her down but if she want's to be married she needs to put in a little. Then there's the other side of the coin that maybe you are just jealous. Make sure jealousy isn't your motivation. Look at what your goals are and act accordingly. Riding is hella fun but not every rider aspires to be a hardcore trainer/racer. It really seems like you don't have a problem that she kicks your ass in riding but her attitude toward you afterword. If this isn't the case and you really are jealous then you're just acting like a b1tch.


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

TommyTiger said:


> Some of you actually made some replies which were solution-oriented.


I notice you left out the ones that suggested getting some counseling. Why is that?


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## yentna (Jul 13, 2006)

*Alternate strategy?*

If you can't just straight up talk to here about the stress of biking with her, maybe ease into it by finding something else you can do together, and phasing out the biking together.

Maybe try to work it so your schedule doesn't allow you to bike with her, bike on your own time, and broach it as "honey, sorry we can't really bike together anymore, why don't we ___________ together instead?"

I.e. take a dance class together, learn a language, start a remodelling project, something that allows you to spend meaningful time together but that doesn't have the stress of the biking.

Use the opportunity to work on your communication, get closer, deepen your relationship, and then when the opportunity presents itself, gently bring up your feelings about the competition betweent the two of you. Keep it a relaxed, calm talk, comfortable. Hold her hand so she doesn't feel threatened and knows you need her, and vice versa.

Remember to listen to her point of view too, rather than just dumping your emotions on her knowing you are right. Probably there's a misunderstanding - someone said maybe she teases you trying to get you motivated, or maybe she senses that you don't like her being better than you and is trying to push you to be better so you are better than her. Who knows. Only talking about it can help, and it sounds like you are so worked up about it right now you can't talk rationally.

Good luck.

PS And I've had many experiences where I was dating someone who was threatened by my abilities. Frankly, if a man isn't tough enough to accept that a woman can best him at something that's not girly, it's a HUGE turnoff. FYI.


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## jugdish (Apr 1, 2004)

TommyTiger said:


> Hi, fellas!!
> 
> This is my first post here on passion, although I have been reading the forums occasionally, I've never felt the urge to post something here, right up until now. Well here's my story, was a racer back in the late 90s, but didn't have the skills to go anywhere. This kinda hit me hard at one time, so I quit biking.
> 
> ...





MWF said:


> I got into mountain biking because my husband was a racer in the late 90s. He was a terrible racer, and his technical skills pretty much assured his dismal race results, even in short courses. Ever the loser, instead of working harder, he just quit biking. Then he got fat.
> 
> Somewhere along the line he got bored enough, or humiliated enough by his former friends, and picked up a Turner, and finally the fatty started riding again. Because I couldn't stand seeing his lazy whining ass sit on the couch anymore, I decided to get a bike and learn to ride with him. Anything to help him out of his pathetic funk.
> 
> ...


 troll...


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## BrandonNorCal (Sep 16, 2006)

damn good save jugdish. I don't know why I fall for that troll crap.


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## eric (Jan 22, 2004)

It seems pretty simple to me, really:

1. Ditch the attitude. Two friends (and one ex) of mine could (and have) whipped me occasionally. The latter went as far as two pass me on a really nasty descent, laugh and tell me (with a straight face) I needed to speed up to stay together. The only thing I've ever thought was: "Hole cow, she's good". All you can do is support you s.o., and be happy for them when they're standing on the podium. After all, standing there is a moment to share, as individual an achievement as it may be. You should know this anyway, since you have a racing background.

2. If you're riding objectives don't match, just don't ride together. You'll have more fun riding where & how fast you want, and your wife can train all she wants. Save yourselves both the hassle and agitation and do your riding alone. This will make me sound like an arrogant geek, but I'm a faster rider than almost every single one of my better friends. I spend most free time on the bike, I choose to train alone, and most fun rides I don't bother calling anybody either..... Oh wait, maybe that's why I'm alone.  My point is: riding should be fun, training or otherwise. You and your wife obviously have different goals and atitudes when it comes to mountainbiking. Don't **** it up for yourselves when it's not needed.

As a couple of others have said, if this is a question of more than a little give and take, you really should not be asking about the biking part of it on Mtbr. Good luck.


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## *rt* (Jan 15, 2004)

TommyTiger said:


> Look, I appreciate every attempt to encourage me, show me ways out of this etc. but this is a lot tougher than just "changing attitude" How many of you guys are so adaptive that you could change your inner personality in a split second? Yeah, I know it doesn't sound nice that I don't feel happy celebrating all her victories. Yeah, maybe I am envious. Yeah, maybe I just am that focking bitter, miserable, egotistical and jealous son of a ***** who can't find pleasure being the personal fitness guru of his wife. That insight gives me NOTHING- ain't no remote control or adjustment knob on my back, turning my head around.
> 
> Here's what. If you have that perfect recipe on how to reset my personality, I'd be listening carefully. But until then, let's just say that it is somewhat unrealistic. Which leaves us with status quo; I am not happy playing second fiddle, and I am not happy being reminded of it all the time. I mean- COME ON, I quit racing because I was unsatisfied with all the negative feedback- or the lack of self-reassurance. Now that I've finally managed to get my fat bum onto a saddle again, it kinda figures the last thing I need right now is an anorectic spouse chugging away at my self-esteem. And if you think I am being a chauvinist- It is me standing with a "¤#% apron (park tool) while fixing HER bike. F..ck it. Really.


you should get divorced. really. i mean, that's obviously the only solution. 

feel better now that you've heard what you wanted to hear?

actually, i agree with Ken and formica: your wife is a better rider than you are. get over yourself.

rt


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## screampint (Dec 10, 2001)

bzzzt. added to the wrong post.


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## screampint (Dec 10, 2001)

jugdish said:


> troll...


Thank you for pointing out how pathetic this person is.

People, please, this is a fake post... Stop the insanity!


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## mattbikeboy (Jun 8, 2004)

screampint said:


> Thank you for pointing out how pathetic this person is.
> 
> People, please, this is a fake post... Stop the insanity!


No way! I think it is real. He is really hurting inside. He needs our support and friendship at this rough time in his life. And all of these "Man-Up Princess" comments are just driving the knife deeper into his pathetic little shallow heart. :thumbsup:

mbb


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## Tracerboy (Oct 13, 2002)

formica said:


> I notice you left out the ones that suggested getting some counseling. Why is that?


La la la... I'm not listening 

The counseling suggestion as such is not a bad idea, it just simply faded with the rest of what you wrote. A mix up of personal ideology and situation analysis. This thread has brought several approaches to the problem. I could care less what you think is lame in that respect.

Now don't get all snippy. Go hug a tree.


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## screampint (Dec 10, 2001)

mattbikeboy said:


> No way! I think it is real. He is really hurting inside. He needs our support and friendship at this rough time in his life. And all of these "Man-Up Princess" comments are just driving the knife deeper into his pathetic little shallow heart. :thumbsup:
> 
> mbb


I'm thinking that the same person posted this about "her husband":
http://forums.mtbr.com/showthread.php?p=2371299#poststop


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## Tracerboy (Oct 13, 2002)

jugdish said:


> Hi everybody! Look at me. Look how intelligent and funny I am. I registred as this dudes wife. How cool is that? Plz dont tell Admin, coz double nicks aren't allowed. Haha, man I am such a creative genius. And I also fooled half of the cretins reading this thread. My genius really ought to get more appreciation. The part where I insinuated that his wife is being unfaithful? Just brilliant. Let me hear that one more time? I am brilliant.


Careful about what you write, sir Trollalot.


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## mattbikeboy (Jun 8, 2004)

screampint said:
 

> I'm thinking that the same person posted this about "her husband":
> http://forums.mtbr.com/showthread.php?p=2371299#poststop


Boy, I'd like to see the "knock down, drag out" at their house for computer access today. 

mbb


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## brado1 (Oct 5, 2004)

Sounds like your vagina is bigger than hers for sure.


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## Pheard (Jul 23, 2006)

Tiger boy got PwNt.


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## chainsuck (Feb 21, 2005)

Alright, no idea who wrote the alleged "wife post" on the other board, but whether this is a troll or not, there are some interesting points here. If this is all just a joke, I would like know what kind of person Tommy really is, to fake inferiority complexes like that.

I have a hunch that TT is not the only guy around struggling with these issues. As pointed out, men feeling insecure about being beaten by their girls are a big turnoff. Insecure men in general are a turnoff. Question is: how many are actually attracted to men who are superior in one aspect or another? E.g. what is so attractive with tall men? Imagine cutting the legs off a basketballplayer, linking him to a wheelchair. If a man like that felt anything like TT does, would he be condescendingly called "pathetic" on this forum? I suspect not.

Tommy, I am positive that you don't have to be a loser even though you get ditched by your wife. Gunn Rita Dahle is faster on her XC bike than her husband. I can promise you, Marion Jones ran faster than C.J. Hunter. Your wife didn't marry you because you were the world's best athlete. So why do you feel inferior? Why does it hurt to be teased by your wife? Are you afraid that you will lose her love because you're not keeping up with her?

If I am getting you right, there are two options available to you- either you want people to look upon you as the best, or you want them to look upon you with pity. Why? Why stick with the loser attitude? What does it give you? Like others have pointed out, find other areas to define yourself. And if you can't apply the label _best_ in one particular area, how about _special?_. You are definitely special..


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## FoulMouthFool (Dec 29, 2005)

troll or real, I still say juice is the only viable option for him......ever


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## aliensporebomb (Feb 2, 2004)

This post gave me a headache. Oh, and nightmares. But I was awake so forget it.


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## RomSpaceKnight (Aug 16, 2006)

Riding with someone who is faster than you is the best way to get faster. Same goes for playing golf, darts and pool. If that is not enough encouragement try becoming her trainer, pushing her till she is good enough to turn pro then pimp her out to some mega corp looking to sponsor a racer then retire and live off her multi million dollar pro racer salary.


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## Carbon Ken (Mar 31, 2005)

Hah ! The answer is so obvious I'm suprised nobody has mentioned it...

Knock your woman up !

Either that or ask her if you can borrow one of her dresses...


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## Nigel 13 (Jun 5, 2005)

hugh088 said:


> You were a loser in the 90's when you raced
> Your a loser when you you bitcih about your wife winning.
> Your a loser with the drivel you spewed here
> Your a..............................loser.
> Don't worry though you can be a winner. First decide to be a winner and then get some help doing it. Easiest way to be a winner set some goals that you can achive. Not simple goals just goals that if you work at can come in first. In this you should compete like a hunter, a sport when only one of the competitors knows he's playing. That way when you lose there's no one to dump on you but when you win the only person that counts knows you won. Work up to real life from there.


He could always follow Beck's advice: "hey, i'm a loser baby, so why dont you kill me"


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## The_rydster (Sep 27, 2006)

Interesting posts even if the original was not genuine.

Personally, women who are better than me at something I am interested/passionate about is a real turn off so I understand where the poster is coming from. Some may say that is pathetic, but how can you help what gets you on/off??!!

Either ditch her or do not compete at all. By riding around with her you are kinda 'half competing' and as such you are losing and feeling bad about it and this is wrecking your relationship. On top of this all her emotional energy is going into MTB so this is a problem also.

If u want to cycle, do road cycling is my advice. A road bike is a great leveller, skill on the tight single track counts for Jack on the road, if you get your fitness up you whould be ok.


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## calvinator (Feb 24, 2004)

Take Up Freeriding


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## Ken in KC (Jan 12, 2004)

TommyTiger said:


> Some of you actually made some replies which were solution-oriented. Psychology ABC for Tommy Tiger. This is how I understood the essence of it.
> 
> I'd like to make a few comments. First of all; I understand that knowledge of self is the stepping stone to making changes. However, the way I see it, it is not a guarantee. I do know a little bit about why I feel the way I do, but I still can't control myself in every situation.
> 
> ...


My orginal advice stands. Or if that hurts your inner child too much, Formica's advice still stands.


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## bigboulder (Jan 27, 2004)

*Here is what you do*

1. Find a group of local riders that like to go out and have no preassure fun on the trails.

2. Start riding with them instead of your wife.

3. Meet a young hottie (it would be nice if she worked at a bike shop)

4. Start screwing her instead of your wife

5. Start dinking more....


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## rushtrack (Sep 7, 2006)

*THE solution*

1. Start cooking meals for her and filling her water bottles
2. Stealthly slip in roids
3. Put an annonymous tip into local and national riding officials
4. Get her banned from the sport
5. Point and laugh
6. Then go to the local blowerama and find a nice bar-****
7. She finds out
8. Divorces your loser cheating ass
9. Takes all your money and your turner

:thumbsup:


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## Mynamesrob (Jul 25, 2004)

TommyTiger said:


> Hi, fellas!!
> 
> This is my first post here on passion, although I have been reading the forums occasionally, I've never felt the urge to post something here, right up until now. Well here's my story, was a racer back in the late 90s, but didn't have the skills to go anywhere. This kinda hit me hard at one time, so I quit biking.
> 
> ...


Well, do the obvious...rent a steamroller. ha ha

Sorry. I wish my wife would ride more with me. She put slicks on her Ironhorse and all she rides is road anymore. Oh well...


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## burtronix (Jun 5, 2006)

*Counseling & Therapy*



TommyTiger said:


> Hi, fellas!!
> 
> Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, I haven't gotten a decent preen-up. I have actually caught myself thinking about how great it would be if my wife just got run over by a steamroller.
> 
> WTF am I gonna do?


I don't believe the internet is where you should be getting counseling & therapy, so I'm going to make this short & to the point. The root of your problems are that you are a self-centered little pissant to the core. Therefore, you need not only marriage counseling but intensive psycho-therapy. And just in case you think divorce is easier, this is your very own personality defect. If you run away from the marriage, it will pop up again on the job & every other relationship you pursue until you get it fixed. You're welcome.


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## wickerman1 (Dec 24, 2003)

*Has this thought crossed your mind?*

Seriously I kniow you liove mtb'ing but as I stated earlier, why not go the opposite direction, and get a road bike if her success at mtb'ing is greater then yours. 
Or, why dont you riide on the days she doesn't? I'm sure you can drum up something to get away from her... hell I do it all the time lol...uhh i mean with my wife not yours


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## derek14 (Aug 18, 2006)

This same issue is very common only the genders are reversed. How many stories have we heard about a guy getting his SO in mountain biking and then pushing her until she doesn't like it. It happens all the time, and the advise is always the same. The superior partner needs to be patient with the less skilled so that it remains *fun* to ride together. If the better rider can't handle that, then it is time to look for a playmate that can. 

Seriously, this stuff is supposed to be about having fun.


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## sandblast (Mar 27, 2006)

Give her my number, she will be happy to have a real man instead of a quitting whiner, and you will be happy too. The only one that will be pissed is my wife, but if yours is super hot, maybe she will go with it too.


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## LyNx (Oct 26, 2004)

*Come on Wickerman...*

.......how long do you think it will take his wife to figure out that if she wants to get better/faster and train better that she needs a road bike? Then once she has the road bike she will once again whip him, but this time infront of guys and things could get even uglier.



wickerman1 said:


> Seriously I kniow you liove mtb'ing but as I stated earlier, why not go the opposite direction, and get a road bike if her success at mtb'ing is greater then yours.
> Or, why dont you riide on the days she doesn't? I'm sure you can drum up something to get away from her... hell I do it all the time lol...uhh i mean with my wife not yours


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## Impy (Jan 6, 2004)

The_rydster said:


> Personally, women who are better than me at something I am interested/passionate about is a real turn off so I understand where the poster is coming from. Some may say that is pathetic, but how can you help what gets you on/off??!!.


Well, that's honest. A little scary, but honest.

Solution to the problem (fake or real) - tell her that you don't enjoy riding with her anymore. And then don't.


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## skinnyhippy (Jun 29, 2004)

be a man and step up to the challenge. If you're constantly defeated, be a man and take the beating.

and:
1) Enjoy having a hardbody athletic wife.
2) learn to play an instrument & start a rock band that practices at your house.
3) get caught with a hooker on purpose, explain to her that you had no choice 'cause she wadn't putting out. 
4) hide all your liquid assets in a cash value life insurance contract because those can't be claimed as a joint asset (usually), and you'll be getting dumped after step 3.
5) Ride slowly alone.
6) Biotch on this board about there being not enough women that like to ride
7) Kick your own ass in a few years for being such a pansy


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## screampint (Dec 10, 2001)

Impy said:


> Well, that's honest. A little scary, but honest.


Scary but true in many circumstances. Had a few break ups because I was better than the guy at something(s). Never really teased them about it though, not that I can recall anyway.


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## fsp (Feb 15, 2006)

screampint said:


> Scary but true in many circumstances. Had a few break ups because I was better than the guy at something(s). Never really teased them about it though, not that I can recall anyway.


Huh. Funny, I'm the opposite. I like a girl who is better at something than I am. Takes the pressure off me. With regard to riding, I can say "She's the serious one" and then I can ride for fun, happy to suck wheel, and watch those beautiful thighs & buns pumping up & down in front of me... not a bad gig! 

Hmmm... Perhaps I should think about dating again...


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## =ChrisB= (Aug 8, 2006)

Girls 
Talk to her about it. Tell her how you feal. In a relationship, thats how things work, right?


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## titleist990dci (Jun 16, 2006)

My girlfriend and I just ran a 10k road running race together....I didn't place and she finished 3rd...I was super excited for her and am really glad she will run with me. She doesn't mtn. bike which is my real love but maybe some day. Oh, yeah, she also snow skis with me too...anyway, guys would kill to have a girl like you have....you better start appreciating her...before someone else does and your butt is sitting on the curb wondering where it all went wrong....
Celebrate her success and support her..be a freaking MAN...damn...


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## nepbug (Sep 3, 2004)

After skimming through the posts I agree on the troll ruling.

Before I concluded the Troll status I was thinking, with TT's attitude (which apparently is unchangeable) he has to either get on it and become better than her or get a divorce. If he doesn't then she will divorce him anyways.

One other possibility is to become a drunk, drunk people are always happy and have no cares.


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## zenmonkey (Nov 21, 2004)

fsp said:


> Huh. Funny, I'm the opposite. I like a girl who is better at something than I am. Takes the pressure off me. With regard to riding, I can say "She's the serious one" and then I can ride for fun, happy to suck wheel, and watch those beautiful thighs & buns pumping up & down in front of me... not a bad gig!
> 
> Hmmm... Perhaps I should think about dating again...


Troll or not, there are people like that.

Next time I drink some champagne, I promise I'll raise my glass to the women I've met that are better than me. Loads of them, all of them in fact. In one way or another.
I am constantly surprised, and I have never met a woman that couldn't teach me something.

Sportswise, and stamina wise, they are fewer and that is a shame. But still legion. The best bike ride of my life was a 2-person challenge road race between Durham and Chapel Hill and back. 
She picked me up, saw my riding to the lab every morning and told me she could beat me on any ride of my choice. So, I set the rules, we had to go to CH, have an ice cream, come back and loser cooked diner. Won one & lost one. Great first date. I did diner, she did breakfast. And a great year together. Thanks go out to her, wherever she is today. I loved getting "chicked", and I was honored to be her partner. If your self-esteem is so fragile that it can't handle that, well, in the end, sucks to be you.

One bubbly glass to women who excel. One bubbly glass to sweaty women.


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## clarkgriswald (Dec 19, 2003)

*Since you are*

wrenching on her bike: Fill tubes with water, then lead shot, and keep adding weight to her race bike that she can not easily detect.

Prepare and provide Exlax laced food prior to her race. Be a real pansy and hide your sabatoge by empathizing her dimishing performance. That should restablish your bruised ego.:thumbsup:

Or do what Ken said.


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## 006_007 (Jan 12, 2004)

Only one solution. A group hug.


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## Pugdawg1 (Aug 28, 2005)

She sounds like someone to be proud of, not to whine about. So she's awesome at it and happens to be better and have more drive. Big deal. My boyfriend can out-do me, you won't see me having a tantrum. I do still kick his ass on climbs though. Muh haha.

Either grow up and appreciate the woman in your life, or you may just find yourself soon to be a thing of her past.


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

The_rydster said:


> Interesting posts even if the original was not genuine.
> 
> Personally, women who are better than me at something I am interested/passionate about is a real turn off so I understand where the poster is coming from. Some may say that is pathetic, but how can you help what gets you on/off??!!


... but lightbulb has to WANT to change...


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## Rontele (Apr 1, 2006)

your wife just massaged me. then we had intercourse.


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## wickerman1 (Dec 24, 2003)

LyNx said:


> .......how long do you think it will take his wife to figure out that if she wants to get better/faster and train better that she needs a road bike? Then once she has the road bike she will once again whip him, but this time infront of guys and things could get even uglier.


ok well then buy a dirt jumper ...oh yeah she does technical stuff really good already.
buddy your screwed.


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## Ken in KC (Jan 12, 2004)

*Um, not so much....*



wickerman1 said:


> ok well then buy a dirt jumper ...oh yeah she does technical stuff really good already.
> buddy your screwed.





TommyKittyCat said:


> ... lets me massage her, without wanting to have intercourse.


On the plus side, he's still a whiny loser.


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## antonio (Jan 18, 2005)

OP never had any passion to kill.


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## rafdog (Jun 16, 2006)

*Maybe she can kill this thread too*


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## bentimby (Jul 2, 2004)

i never thought there could be so much drama in riding a bike, get out and ride!!!! :madman:


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## wickerman1 (Dec 24, 2003)

bentimby said:


> i never thought there could be so much drama in riding a bike, get out and ride!!!! :madman:


It's not the bike thats the drama. it's the accessories.


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## cgee (Sep 1, 2006)

Let her do what she wants to whatever degree she wants. She will love you more because she will be happy and fulfilled.


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## dhummer (Dec 27, 2005)

Support your wife and help her train. Since you are the one wrenching her bike I first suggest putting some heavy slow rolling tires and dh tubes. For training only...of course. Next, well there is a thing called lead tape. Basically just a ribbon of lead with adhesive on one side. Go buy some.... Start affixing pieces of said lead tape to wifes bike. All the added weight on the bike might be enough to slow her down for you. This way you might be able to keep up on her training rides.

Just remember to put on the lighter tires for her races and remove the lead too. Oh and if she sees the lead tape and asks about it all you have to say is that you are helping her train.


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## AlloyNipples (Jan 12, 2004)

Where's Pete's advise when we need it?


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## kid4lyf (Aug 8, 2006)

Ken in KC said:


> Grow the fvck up and get over yourself. Your wife is a better rider than you and you're not man enough to accept it. Too bad for her.


2X
Dude, you've got issues.
I'm busting my ass trying to get my wife crash coursing so we can do bike trips out west together and you're whining about your wife being too good?
The fact that not being a good enough racer stopped you from riding explains a lot about you.
I think Dr Phil has a word for guys like you. He calls them pussies.

Got small penis?


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## jugdish (Apr 1, 2004)

ah, fugid aboud id...


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## rimugu (Jun 28, 2004)

dhummer said:


> Support your wife and help her train. Since you are the one wrenching her bike I first suggest putting some heavy slow rolling tires and dh tubes. For training only...of course. Next, well there is a thing called lead tape.


Jaja, this is so funny!!!! :thumbsup:


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## Ken in KC (Jan 12, 2004)

*er.....*



jugdish said:


> ah, fugid aboud id...


He stopped riding an Ellsworth a couple years ago. Duh... What, you have some sort of super ego or something?


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## 4000psi (Jul 6, 2006)

My advice:

Don't drink too much. You might start seeing double and kill yourself due to the sight of twice the woman you married.

Pull your panties up, go chop some wood or something!

After a leg massage, nuzzle up and knock her up, it will slow her down for 9 months at least. But, be careful, after pregnancy she will be even tougher due to the birth and the whole motherhood thing.

Buy a DH rig, it will ad to your list of excuses on why your slow.

Hide her heart rate monitor. Those things kill brain cells anyway.

Work more hours. It sounds like you have wayyy toomuch time on your to think up stupid sh!!t about your trivial problem. Sack up and talk, its cheaper than a divorce>


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## Blueliner (Apr 5, 2010)

apex381 said:


> Jeeze,
> This sounds like the exact same problem I was having with my GF. She started Tea Kwon Do because she wanted something to do besides work, but she's a perfectionist and an insane competitor so it has naturally taken over her life. She now trains for tkd for at least 2 hours a day is usually at the Do-Jong training most of the weekend and insists on hanging out alone with her TKD buddies (other people who have no life other than TKD). What sounds really familiar about your case is the demanding of massages and similar rubbing/attention without anything in return. That was three months ago. Things are MUCH MUCH better now and she is still active in TKD but no longer obsessive... go to counseling. If you guys really care about your relationship you need to go to counseling!


You are a man among men, I could never be with a woman who could kick my ass, then again I am really insecure.

Blueliner


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## MotoX33 (Nov 8, 2011)

This has got to be one of the funniest posts I have read on here. Thanks for digging up pure gold Blueliner! I wonder how their relationship is doing...


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## chainsuck (Feb 21, 2005)

I wanna know as well...


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

chainsuck said:


> I wanna know as well...


More like crazy posters need to get mental help.


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## BeanMan (Jul 6, 2006)

sounds like you need a little more Tiger, Tommy.


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## yodaopie (Jun 24, 2008)

Ken in KC said:


> Grow the fvck up and get over yourself. Your wife is a better rider than you and you're not man enough to accept it. Too bad for her.


very first words that came to mind after reading his response.


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## Stupendous Man (Jan 12, 2004)

Move on folks, this stuff is 6 years old.


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## Guerdonian (Sep 4, 2008)

^^^ what he said


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## DeathByCactus (Apr 5, 2012)

The internet never forgets...


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## spoonylove (Nov 24, 2009)

Get over it. LOL


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## Drew69 (Aug 3, 2010)

To be blunt if I wasn't getting any I don't know how long I could be happy.


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## GiantMountainTroll (Mar 27, 2012)

funny but hella old...


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## StiHacka (Feb 2, 2012)

A bunch of posts have been erased here in the past few days. Tommie resurrected this to tell us that his former wife was coerced to an abortion, became a junkie and how he is happy that she is finally more miserable than him. What a loser.


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## DeathByCactus (Apr 5, 2012)

StiHacka said:


> A bunch of posts have been erased here in the past few days. Tommie resurrected this to tell us that his former wife was coerced to an abortion, became a junkie and how he is happy that she is finally more miserable than him. What a loser.


?? So he necroed it and the post was deleted?


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## StiHacka (Feb 2, 2012)

DeathByCactus said:


> ?? So he necroed it and the post was deleted?


Yes, he did it under a new nickname. It was a quite disgusting reading. This whole thread should have been erased years ago.


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## DeathByCactus (Apr 5, 2012)

Wow, what a ****ed up person to ruin a perfectly good woman.


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## sandcritter (Jun 2, 2009)

To be fair, no matter who you are I hate to see relationships get rocky, inevitable as it is.

That said.... Seriously? Then I can't possibly reply (honestly) any further without getting the boot.


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## texasnavy05 (Sep 9, 2010)

I'm wondering what ever happened to these two. 

Im guessing steamroller got one of 'em.


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