# Sister "borrowed" my bike, then it got stolen..ethics



## mr2peak (May 25, 2009)

I want to know how you guys would handle this, and what you think is fair given the situation.

This is the bike: http://forums.mtbr.com/kona/my-explosif-re-build-766144.html

It started a few months ago. My sister wanted to buy the bike I had just rebuilt, my scandium kona explosif, first nice bike ive ever owned. But she didn't want to give me enough for it to make me want to sell it (I just put $500 more into it, new fork, wheelset, chain, etc). I then went on vacation to the Philippines for 2 months, and on the 16th of July she told me that she had taken my bike, without my permission,, and gone on a road trip across the US with it. Before she left, she had her friend and a bike store evaluate the bike, and the average was $375 so thats what she was giving me. I never agreed to sell it. On the 31st, after promising to pay me rent while the bike was gone and offering to ship it home, she td me it had been stolen off of her car in Denver, on the 19h of July!!

She then offered to replace the bike with a comparable frame and parts. As soon as she figured out what that would cost she started fighting with me about it.

She stole my bike once before, asked me for permission, I said no and she took it anyway. I told her if she ever did that again I wouldn't be forgiving.

SHORT: sister stole my bike for a road trip, then it got stolen off of her car. Took her 12 days to tell me.

So what do I do? What's fair? At this point she's telling me she doesn't have enough money to pay me back, because she wants to build her own bike..


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## jmmUT (Sep 15, 2008)

I'd say since she took it without permission and it got stolen during that time, she is completely liable for either your asking price or a directly comparable replacement bike. 

If you had given her permission, it may be a different story.

I'd say she just needs to pay up your asking price or close to it asap. Realize though that bikes are generally money pits. Putting in $400 rarely gives you a direct or better return. 

And if you don't get the $ soon, you'll likely never see it. .If her behavior is often like this, maybe it wasn't stolen. She could have sold it or something.


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## jgutz71 (May 6, 2012)

If she can go on a road trip across the US then she can afford to replace the bike at least thats how I see it...


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## Shark (Feb 4, 2006)

Sounds like she owes you whatever you had discussed the first time...$500 plus .....
that is a crock of **** & pretty bad behavior for family.

If she doesn't give you what you think it's worth, wait & "borrow" her bike.....payback is a ***** lol.


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## aBicycle (Jun 13, 2012)

Call the police on her. She stole the damn thing, she needs to pay up. It's either pay up to buy a whole new bike of comparable quality or jail as far as I see it.

Also, she sounds like a sociopath. You may want to read up on sociopaths.


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## Harold (Dec 23, 2003)

you have some options, as I see it.

1. pressure her however you can to get her to give you replacement value of the bike. not depreciated value. this may or may not work.

2. take her to Judge Judy, or otherwise file a civil suit against her (small claims court has a max monetary value, IIRC, and I don't know what it is).

3. file a police report claiming theft. that could get ugly if the police actually do something about it.

4. make an insurance claim on the bike. this may require #3, I'm not sure. let insurance get the money out of her. this could also be very ugly.

I guess it depends how fed up you are with your sister.

either way, you need to change the locks on your house and install a security system. if your sister is fine taking your bicycles just because she wants them, she's going to continue taking your stuff. don't give her a key to your house, and don't give her the code to your security system.


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## jugdish (Apr 1, 2004)

So you're thinking of writing your sister off for $400 plus. She is your sister, and you'll in all likelyhood interact with her in some manner for the rest of your life. Unless this behavior is across the board, i.e. she scetchy in other parts of her life as well and effecting others, my opinion is you learned a costly lesson about your sister. Don't leave your gear where she had access to it. Also, I'm not saying you should let it ride. Talk with her and see if she'll come up with the cash. I just think that with family members you need to consider what could be at risk in the long run. 
That's just one (mine) a55holes opinion...

Side note: I have Kona Unit at my brothers house out in Fruita. Just easier than driving a bike back and forth. Plus, he and his wife needed a bike. I have no idea what shape it's in since last fall. I'm assuming it's not in the shape I left it. Hopefully not stolen. In the end it's just a bike and I have a good relationship with my bro. 

I'll try and repost when I see the bike again and see if my feelings have changed.


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## Prophet Julio (May 8, 2008)

*Ok*

So you are in the Philippines and your sister goes cross country. And you are fighting over a stolen bike that's worth $400.

If she is a younger sister, then forget about it, older you might have a case, but older always wins.

I'd say you're out the bike, but be happy, even ecstatic about having a sister who rides!.


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## mr2peak (May 25, 2009)

I understand that investing money in bikes is a bad idea, I've spent the last 5 years building cars... However, the depreciation is made up for by the pleasure of the use of that object, which I no longer get...

This isn't some bike that I left at her house, this is my hard tail that I ride when I don't need my heavy turner, and the bike I use for basic transportation in the city because I don't have a car. I use it constantly. She got her hands on it because I sublet my apartment for 2 months and had to leave it at my parents.

I'm really frustrated. I want my bike back but that ain't gonna happen. Unless one of you has a 2001 Kona Explosif Scandium 17" bike you'd be willing to sell. Been trying to find one but I can't.


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## big terry (Apr 22, 2012)

Id say she needs some intervention, whether it be a good, old-fashioned ass kickin' from her brother, or a visit from the local po-po. family or not, it seems she has a history of disrespecting family- which puts her dangerously close to crossing the not-in-the-family-anymore line.

ESPECIALLY if she had the balls to say she couldnt pay you back for the bike she stole, and then got stolen...because she was trying to build her own bike? wtf that right there deserves a visit from charlie murphy, time to smack a b!tch.


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## jwilliams (Jun 6, 2011)

Just meet her and borrow her damn iPhone until she gives you some cash.:thumbsup:


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## pursuiter (May 28, 2008)

Life is too short to be pi$$ed at your sister about a clapped out used bike. I recommend you get over it and show her some love.


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## Kaizer (Jul 19, 2010)

Call the police. Let em sort it out.


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## H0WL (Jan 17, 2007)

Your sister has 
a) stolen two of your bikes
b) lied to you
c) jerked you around about reimbursing you for what she has taken without permission (stolen)
and you are still wondering "what's fair"? You are considering negotiating with her? Really? All this BS about what your bike was "worth" according to her "appraisal" is just a red herring (google it). Keep in mind a), b) and c) above. 

Please, continue to love your sister to the extent possible, just don't ever trust her. Disengage/detangle your life from hers; this is not a person capable of having your best interests at heart. Again, it is possible to care deeply about her welfare while knowing that any dealings with her on the material plane will not have a good outcome for you; simply refuse to be drawn into the craziness. 

If you ever have to leave your bike (or anything else) stored somewhere, do it where she can't get to it. Really, two months of payment for a storage unit is cheap, and you will have a bike at the end. 

....or just watch Dr. Phil & Judge Judy daily for a few months and you will figure it out. 

Sadly, I have no idea how to get your money back.


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## Heist! (Aug 1, 2012)

Good day. 
I would like to open by saying the following; your sister is contrived, coniving, self-centered, deceptive, wench.

(1) She stole your bike. 
(2) She refused to pay you back anything even near fair market value. 
(3) Her rationale for not paying you fair market value; she needs the money to build her own bike. Mind you she deprived you of your property and enjoyment of the bike in order to feed her on selfish need. 
(4) You have lost the dollar value cost of the bike, plus your time and labor, and any sentimental value. 
(5) *This is not her first time stealing your property. *

No mercy, sir. Report it to the police and let her feel the sting of steel bracelets around her wrist bone. 
If she pays you back in full, drop the charges. If not, proceed with prosecution.


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## Heist! (Aug 1, 2012)

pursuiter said:


> Life is too short to be pi$$ed at your sister about a clapped out used bike. I recommend you get over it and show her some love.


Fool me once, shame on you. 
Fool me twice, as we say in Brooklyn, that yo' a$$!

You don't coddle family when they abuse you and violate your trust. Like a bully, you don't half-step - one good slap back into reality and they tend to either straighten out and treat you with respect, or move on to look for the next victim.

Just like bad friends, family members can be toxic too.


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## DIRTJUNKIE (Oct 18, 2000)

I agree with what the very first response is in this thread.
I would also like to point out that all of her behaviors point to substance abuse. And possibly she sold the bike to support her habit. Just a thought, don't hate the observer.


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## aaronjbryant (May 25, 2012)

Having had two of my own bikes stolen (my first good road bike I bought on my own and a mountain bike I enjoyed screwing around with) I understand the violation of the situation. I had just started paying for renter's insurance (they were stolen out of my garage) and filed a claim. I recently replaced the road bike, and I'm working on the mountain now.

Anyhow, if you have renter's insurance, you will have to file a police report to file a claim. I don't know if insurance covers theft when it's not in your house or not, but you do need to be sure the bike actually did get stolen and that she didn't just sell it.

If it wasn't insured/covered, I dunno. I looked for months for a 61cm LeMond Zurich after it disappeared, but I had to just let it go. I can see a careless sibling being like, "Meh, they're gone for a while; they won't know if I use what I perceive as a junker for a bit," but it is odd that she took your bike to get appraised. You might try seeing if your parent's can lean on her for it, depending on age. That sucks, but where logic fails for you as a brother, they may succeed. I had a friend from high school run up two $300 dollar phone bills while sharing his sister's plan in college (this was a few years ago) and their mom ended up driving up to get his paycheck and giving him rent and grocery/gas money out of it for a couple months until he payed it off (I'm not sure if she took out gas money for her or not).


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## mr2peak (May 25, 2009)

Wow great responses. Seriously. Both sides are pretty evenly reprisented. The "send her to the police" posts make me think I'm not being that hard on her

And the "she's your little sister" posts.. yeah she's my little sister, but she's also 22 years old, with a car an the means to go travel America for 2 months...

I have access to her surfboard and her cruiser bicycle, but I'm not about to go pawn them, or steal her iPhone...

WHAT IM PROPOSING TO HER:

She has been given a Kula supreme frame from a friend, and that was going to go to me, until she found out how much it costs to build a bike, used parts of course. So now I'm trying to come up with a fair settlement...
I'm saying $500 and the frame. That will get me a fork and a wheelset and brakes. The driveline and the tires, handlebars, shifters, etc I'll have to pay for myself. The supreme frame is better than the scandium Explosif, but I'm still out half a bike, so what do you all think?


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## Tone's (Nov 12, 2011)

Your sister owes you a bike mate, end of story..
Its about ethics here, it doesnt matter if she is your sister, she took the bike without asking, it got flogged, it was very poor form on her behalf, she owes you for the bike and the parts you put on it, for her to take it n get it valued is a total lack of respect from her, yes i have brothers n sisters and none of us would treat each other like that because we have respect for each other n each others stuff, if she is over the age of about 13 or 14 she owes you a bike, n you should be the one making the rules over the price n what she owes you, it was your bike, its your decision how much you sell it for, n if she didnt take it without asking the problem wouldnt be happening, and if she has anything to say other than ''no probs bro, ill fix it up n pay you what you want,'' call the cops n charge her with theft, its called tough love, n when she is older n wiser she will understand, cheers

just to add to this, i just read on your last post that she is 22 yrs old, mate she should know better, shes not a child, you dont have to put up with that garbage from her at all, 
you sound more than fair, she owes you whatever you want.......


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## Berkeley Mike (Jan 13, 2004)

What is fair, what she owes you, and what you can actually get out of your sister are very different things. One thing you will get out of this is a lesson.


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## motomuppet (Sep 27, 2011)

^ them's some wise words up there. This is tricky...I dunno what I would do if my sister pinched my bike without asking and then had it stolen....but my sister would never do that, is welcome to any of my stuff if she needs it and would pay me back in a heartbeat if any of my stuff under her care got nicked (and vice versa), but thats just how we roll.

Sounds to me like you are being more than fair, and she sounds like a bit of a spoiled brat with little regard or appreciation of the value of things. Good luck.


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## mr2peak (May 25, 2009)

motomuppet said:


> ...but my sister would never do that, is welcome to any of my stuff if she needs it and would pay me back in a heartbeat if any of my stuff under her care got nicked (and vice versa), but thats just how we roll.


And that's the worst part. I thought we were like that (except she knows to ask permission before borrowing my bike, surfboard, etc). It's actually kinda funny, cause she throws the "don't you love me I'm your sister" line, and I'm thinking...wait.... "don't you love me? I'm your brother and you just ripped off my bike"! Either way this goes, it's damaged our relationship. Bikes should be fixing things and making people feel good, not messing things up.


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## motomuppet (Sep 27, 2011)

That sucks. The whole, dont you love me, I'm your sister is kinda irrelevant though...of course you love her, but she is not respecting you or your stuff. She is acting like a spoilt child or someone with a substance abuse problem. My sister and I have a great relationship based on trust and respect. Much of that trust and respect was earned by both of us having to deal with an alcoholic brother. I don't know your background or your sisters situation, so am probably jumping the gun here, but if there is more going on, if her personality has changed in a shortish amount of time look into it seriously. Hopefully she is just a spoilt brat....and if so, well, good luck!

Tell her you love her but you need to be able to rely on her and trust her. How can you do that if she takes stuff without asking, loses it and then flakes on correcting the situation? That makes her selfish, untrustworthy and unreliable....who needs friends like that? And none of us need family like that. Of course you will forgive her over time, but trust is hard to earn and easy to lose..all that good stuff! 

Run up a good guilt trip, then steal her I phone.


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## Blurr (Dec 7, 2009)

Brother and sister arguing over a 500.00 bike? sounds childish


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## Shark (Feb 4, 2006)

Have her do a drug test....fishy behavior....


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## Prophet Julio (May 8, 2008)

*Plus 1*



Blurr said:


> Brother and sister arguing over a 500.00 bike? sounds childish


That's basically what I was hinting at earlier. I got neg rep for it, unsigned by some gutless flamer. I am a 50 yo father of two. I have a family business and work with my 2 brothers.

Nothing is more important than family. Work it out in private.


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## monzie (Aug 5, 2009)

Nothing's more important than family; until said family deep dicks you out of your **** you specifically told them they couldn't have. 

She owes you. Get your money one way or the other. If not money, cash that check in blood. As in, a good old fashioned sibling ass kicking. Barring that, I'd get my money by pawning all her ****. **** being taken advantage of, by anyone. Even family. Especially since it was your commuter too. More people have put it more elegantly but the idea is the same, get what you're owed from that leech.


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## tubby74 (Jun 2, 2012)

mr2peak said:


> I'm saying $500 and the frame. That will get me a fork and a wheelset and brakes. The driveline and the tires, handlebars, shifters, etc I'll have to pay for myself. The supreme frame is better than the scandium Explosif, but I'm still out half a bike, so what do you all think?


sounds like a pretty decent result. You're out of pocket a bit but you get the chance to built up again, maybe improve on what you did last time. she has to pay up and take responsibility, and by finding the frame for you she's at least had to put in some of the effort you made on your beloved bike.


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## FullyTorque (Jun 13, 2012)

If you use the bike as your main form of transportation then ask to borrow her car until she replaces it.


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## danielsilva (Aug 13, 2011)

Prophet Julio said:


> That's basically what I was hinting at earlier. I got neg rep for it, unsigned by some gutless flamer. I am a 50 yo father of two. I have a family business and work with my 2 brothers.
> 
> Nothing is more important than family. Work it out in private.


I love my brothers and them taking my stuff without permission is, well, pretty normal but they're both underage, still even they know that expensive stuff ( monetary and/or sentimental ) is off limits. We usually "fight" about it but a couple days later and i'm paying them lunch on Burger King.

But in this case we are talking about an adult not "little" kids, someone who did the same thing before and will probably do the same or worst in the future. Doesn't matter if it's family or not, there ARE limits. I don't have any problem cutting ties with family members ( and have done it before ) if things comes to worst.

I don't believe this is enough to call the police or goin to court because of it - it's just $500 - but if this was me i would take a note, brush this incident off, put it behind me and seriously downgrade my relationship with her.

Sooner or later she will probably need her big brother and big brother won't be there for her, then, maybe she'll understand that being a freakin ****** might not have been such a great idea.


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## Loudviking (Oct 23, 2011)

I don't understand alot of the responses, said sister STOLE the bike, then
wasn't responsible enough to keep it safe while she had it.
I could care less if it's family or not, that doesn't give you a free pass to STEAL!!!
Call the Police, let her deal with it. If you don't, what might disappear next, everything
in your home?


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## Heist! (Aug 1, 2012)

Blurr said:


> Brother and sister arguing over a 500.00 bike? sounds childish


You're missing the point, Blurr. 
It's not an argument over money - it's an argument over morals, principles, and trust.


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## Heist! (Aug 1, 2012)

Prophet Julio said:


> That's basically what I was hinting at earlier. I got neg rep for it, unsigned by some gutless flamer. I am a 50 yo father of two. I have a family business and work with my 2 brothers.
> 
> Nothing is more important than family. Work it out in private.


Let us see what your position on the matter is when you find that one of your brother's has been pilfering money from the business account or stealing gross sums of material/product.

I have a low tolerance level for family stealing from family. Family is whom you have trust and love unconditionally and when they use this against you, then act recalcitrant about it afterward, it's a deep violation of that bond.


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## Tone's (Nov 12, 2011)

Heist! said:


> Your missing the point, Blurr.
> It's not an argument over money - it's a argument over morals, principles, and trust.


well said mate, your spot on :thumbsup:


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## justin_amador (Dec 2, 2009)

In the long run, you'll be doing her a disservice if you don't help her modify her poor behavior now. That means coming down hard on her, the way things work in the real world. If a stranger took your bike for a joyride and then it was stolen, and you found out about it, how would you react? So when she pulls the pouty ". . . but I'm your sister, don't you love me" BS, you can tell her, "Yes, I do. That's why I'm trying to help you."

And yes, this is about much more than a $xxx bike. It's about being able to trust your family. If you can't trust her to do the right thing with your bike, how could you trust her to borrow your car, watch your kids, pick the right nursing home for mom and dad? She's proven she has only her interests involved when she's making decisions, not the interests of all the parties that might be affected.


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## Harold (Dec 23, 2003)

Heist! said:


> I have a low tolerance level for family stealing from family. Family is whom you have trust and love unconditionally and when they use this against you, then act recalcitrant about it afterward, it's a deep violation of that bond.


I can't agree more. I will go out of my way to be fair (even a little more than fair) to family. But if they take advantage of the situation and violate that trust, I will not be merciful.

Nice example that parallels this situation somewhat (but not outcome).

My sister actually has a bike that I want. She's had it for years, and I've wanted it for years. It's an awesome piece of retro 90's matching ano everything. Thing is, it's not the kind of bike she needs, and the fit is not quite right. She needs a good family bike for pulling her daughter in a trailer. It's too big for her. Maybe she will still want a mountain bike (I have to say it would be nice if she expressed a desire to go mtb riding with my wife and I). Maybe not.

I am finally in a position where I'll be able to compensate her fairly for that bike. I've worked out an agreement with her. I will get her set up with a bike that's better for her uses and fits her better. In exchange, she will give me the retro mtb so I can clean it up. It will not be an equal exchange. Pretty sure the value of what I wind up giving her will be higher than what I get out of the deal. But I'm okay with that. She can consider it a gift. I also plan to set up my neice with a nice balance bike, since she's old enough to learn to use one.

I owe my sister enough to treat her fairly and with respect. And I expect the same in return.


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## knutso (Oct 8, 2008)

I have a real a-hole in my immediate family and he is a dis-barred lawyer....count your lucky stars !


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## Harold (Dec 23, 2003)

knutso said:


> I have a real a-hole in my immediate family and he is a dis-barred lawyer....count your lucky stars !


ouch. gatherings for your family have got to be full of win.

both sides of my family have royal problems. my father has some kinds of issues he probably ought to seek professional help over, but never will. contact for short periods of time keeps me from losing it with him.

my inlaws are highly disfunctional across the board. I have a mentally ill mother-in-law who is difficult to deal with, but I can handle her if she's the only one. the rest of the family is where my major problems arise. they are supposedly not mentally ill, but they're the crazy ones. they are the ones I have the most difficult time tolerating.


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## spsoon (Jul 28, 2008)

Nobody I know would ever pull that crap. Why? Because I would not associate with anyone who would, family or not. Her apparent lack of remorse is just the icing on the cake, and really screams "sociopath" as others have remarked. Sure, it's "only a bike" this time, but what will it be next? Steal your car? Burn down your house?

Whether you decide to persue compensation or just write it off, cut her out of your life. Life's too short.


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## Heist! (Aug 1, 2012)

knutso said:


> I have a real a-hole in my immediate family and he is a dis-barred lawyer....count your lucky stars !


Depending on what side of the profession he worked on, it takes an especially superb kind of scum for a lawyer to get disbarred.


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## KingofWylieTX (Jul 30, 2012)

What you have here is a moral dilemma. It sounds like you want your sister to do the right thing, but she is not yet mature enough to do it. 

First, I hope you realize that in 20 years, this will all be irrelevant. In 20 years, you will both be more focused on family and these are the relationships that will be important as you get older (or she’ll be in jail for other crimes). That being said, you don’t want to carry forward resentment from this unfortunate incident. To do that, there must be some conclusion that makes you feel justified/whole. Let us agree that she is behaving badly. The only thing you can really do to change her behavior in regard to this situation is to call the police and have her arrested. Assuming this occurs, you can probably get an order for her to make restitution. The restitution will be based on the fair market value of the bike. If you do this, then she will resent you for the next 20 years. She just isn’t at a point in her life where she is going to pay you what you think is fair.

I would simply let her know that I had been advised to file a police report for the stolen bike. The bike was stolen. She took it. Therefore, if you went that route, then she would be listed as the known thief (what happened to it after she took it does not matter). Then, I would tell her that I had decided against it, because I would hate for this to hang over her head for the rest of her life (potentially prevent her from getting a good job or succeeding in her career). I would let her know that she breached my trust, and that will be something she will hopefully earn back one day in the future…..but that will be a long time. Right now, it is gone. Now is when I would tell her that I am writing off the bike against the next several years of birthdays and Christmases for her. 

Finally, I would love her just the same. She is your sister, she is not perfect (obviously, right?). Get over it and enjoy not having to buy her a present for the next few years. Do not trust her, do not let her borrow anything, do not let her stay at your place…..until she has grown up and become a responsible person. DO keep her in your life, this is all stupid b.s. behavior by someone that has been coddled too much.

==== This is not advice to seek from strangers. If you want good advice on this, ask someone who knows both of you. They can better weigh what is needed to help her grow up. Your parents or another sibling would be much more appropriate counselors in this situation.


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## Learux (Jun 4, 2012)

$500 way too much, ask her for $250 and call it a day. That bike was not that much to begin with.


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## Highwaystreets (Apr 3, 2006)

i would be livid if my sister stole my bike and then wouldn't replace it.... Yes i understand its a material possession but it shows a general disregard for you based on her actions and this to me is the larger issue. 

I'd make her pay what it was worth and if she says no then i would cut contact with her until she wants to be an adult... She is acting like a child and she needs to be held accountable.


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## knutso (Oct 8, 2008)

NateHawk said:


> ouch. gatherings for your family have got to be full of win.
> 
> both sides of my family have royal problems. my father has some kinds of issues he probably ought to seek professional help over, but never will. contact for short periods of time keeps me from losing it with him.
> 
> my inlaws are highly disfunctional across the board. I have a mentally ill mother-in-law who is difficult to deal with, but I can handle her if she's the only one. the rest of the family is where my major problems arise. they are supposedly not mentally ill, but they're the crazy ones. they are the ones I have the most difficult time tolerating.


Wow you have to deal with some serious crazy !

Family gatherings are at my house and he isn't welcome nor does anyone communicate with him, the stuff he has pulled repeatedly is disgusting ... The last contact we had was when he unleashed 'vipers' on all of us when my father died, costed us 30k legal fees.


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## AZ (Apr 14, 2009)

knutso said:


> Wow you have to deal with some serious crazy
> 
> Family gatherings are at my house and he isn't welcome nor does anyone communicate with him, the stuff he has pulled repeatedly is disgusting ... The last contact we had was when he unleashed 'vipers' on all of us when my father died, costs us 30k legal fees.


For that kind of grief I would find a way for a truck to fall on him. Just sayin.


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## Sandrenseren (Dec 29, 2011)

mr2peak said:


> This isn't some bike that I left at her house, this is my hard tail that I ride when I don't need my heavy turner, and the bike I use for basic transportation in the city because I don't have a car. I use it constantly.


I think there are two separate issues here, one being that she borrows your stuff without asking permission and secondly your bike getting nicked.

Having your bike nicked always sucks bigtime, I understand your frustration. However when using the bike as daily transportation it might as well have been stolen while you had parked it somewhere. Assuming she had the bike properly locked to her car I really can't see the big difference between a thief with a wire cutter stealing the bike from the back of her car and a thief with a wire cutter stealing the bike while you're doing your grocery shopping. So the theft, in my opinion, is just **** that happens, and it doesn't really matter if it happens while you are using the bike or while your sister is.. If she just left the bike unlocked, leaning against the bumper of the car, feel free to punch her, but if she left it secured in a responsible way, don't give her a hard time just because a thief spotted the bike on her watch rather than on yours..

Which leaves the issue of her grabbing the bike without permission, I'd give her a proper yelling over that...

She probably knows she screwed up and feel bad about it, so yell at her for borrowing your stuff without your permission, but don't yell at her for being unlucky that a thief came by.

As for the money, if you had insurance, fine.. If you didn't then you were prepared to lose the bike and get nothing..

bunch of garbage


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## motopail (Jul 29, 2008)

Geeze......

Wait till you have kids. Talk about stuff taken without you knowing.


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## Sandrenseren (Dec 29, 2011)

motomuppet said:


> but my sister would never do that, is welcome to any of my stuff if she needs it and would pay me back in a heartbeat if any of my stuff under her care got nicked (and vice versa), but thats just how we roll.


Really? So if you lend your sister your car and it gets stolen while she's at the movies, she owes you a car?

I lend my car out to friends and family. If it gets stolen while I use it, my insurance pays. If it gets stolen while my brother uses it, the insurance pays. If it turns out the car was left unlocked with the keys in the ignition, the insurance doesn't pay due to neglect, but it doesn't matter if I was the last person driving or a friend of mine was. I expect my friends and family to secure the car to the same degree I do when leaving it, whether it gets stolen on my watch or their watch doesn't really matter to me - it's just random bad luck.


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## dickeydoo (May 11, 2007)

Sandrenseren said:


> Really? So if you lend your sister your car and it gets stolen while she's at the movies, she owes you a car?
> 
> *I lend my car *out to friends and family. If it gets stolen while I use it, my insurance pays. If it gets stolen while my brother uses it, the insurance pays. If it turns out the car was left unlocked with the keys in the ignition, the insurance doesn't pay due to neglect, but it doesn't matter if I was the last person driving or a friend of mine was. I expect my friends and family to secure the car to the same degree I do when leaving it, whether it gets stolen on my watch or their watch doesn't really matter to me - it's just random bad luck.


He did'nt lend the bike.


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## spsoon (Jul 28, 2008)

Sandrenseren said:


> She probably knows she screwed up and feel bad about it, so yell at her for borrowing your stuff without your permission, but don't yell at her for being unlucky that a thief came by.


The sister *is the thief*. What happened after she took it is irrelevant. She took it without permission and did not return it. I would even be skeptical that she's telling the truth about it being stolen (again).


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## AZ (Apr 14, 2009)

Sell her into slavery somewhere outside the country to recoup your money. Win/win, you get your money and she is not able to steal your stuff again. Plus she gets a new career, trifecta.


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## 2Slo4U (Jan 12, 2004)

Learux said:


> $500 way too much, ask her for $250 and call it a day. That bike was not that much to begin with.


This^^


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## Sandrenseren (Dec 29, 2011)

spsoon said:


> The sister *is the thief*. What happened after she took it is irrelevant. She took it without permission and did not return it. I would even be skeptical that she's telling the truth about it being stolen (again).


So if your brother goes away for 2 months and you decide to borrow his tent for a weekend of fishing without asking first, that makes you a thief?!? Strange relations to have with a sibling.

My brother has carte blanche to borrow my stuff and vice versa. If he's around I'll ask first. If he's away on vacation I just borrow stuff, knowing very well that he doesn't need it before he's back anyway.We grew up together and used to share stuff all the time, the main reason to ask permission these days is to make sure it's not inconvenient, for example "can I take your fishing rod this weekend or do you have plans yourself?".

you are an idiot, wake up dribbler......

after asking and he says no, idiot


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## spsoon (Jul 28, 2008)

Sandrenseren said:


> Strange relations to have with a sibling.


Stealing from each other is strange relations indeed. You and your brother have obviously given each other prior permission to borrow. In this case I would be inclined to see it your way, except for the fact that she had previously taken his bike after he explicitly declined.


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## John Kuhl (Dec 10, 2007)

If someone steals from me I just won't have anything to do
with them anymore. Once a thief always a thief.


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## dickeydoo (May 11, 2007)

Sandrenseren said:


> So if your brother goes away for 2 months and you decide to borrow his tent for a weekend of fishing without asking first, that makes you a thief?!? Strange relations to have with a sibling.
> 
> My brother has carte blanche to* borrow* my stuff and vice versa. If he's around I'll ask first. If he's away on vacation I just borrow stuff, knowing very well that he doesn't need it before he's back anyway.We grew up together and used to share stuff all the time, the main reason to ask permission these days is to make sure it's not inconvenient, for example "can I take your fishing rod this weekend or do you have plans yourself?".


You keep bringing up borrowing and lending being ok. That may be ok in your case and thats great, but she did not have his ok to take his bike.


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## danielsilva (Aug 13, 2011)

Sandrenseren said:


> So if your brother goes away for 2 months and you decide to borrow his tent for a weekend of fishing without asking first, that makes you a thief?!? Strange relations to have with a sibling.


Dunno but if i "borrowed" something from any of my siblings and lost it somehow, i would definitely assume my responsability since, well, we are adults ?
Never in my life i would do something so low as loose something from someone and then basically tell them "oh well bad luck, deal with it".


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## 29Spec (Jun 26, 2012)

I've read couple of you guys saying, call the police.

Is this an American thing or something? You would call the police on your own sister for $500? 

Only in a America would you sue your own family, call police on your own family...

I think you can resolve this with your sister without getting the police involved.


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## JoeWE (Jun 13, 2012)

If that shiz happened to me and I was getting the runaround, I'd go the low confrontation route. Next time I was at her place, I'd "borrow" something valuable and/or sentimental of hers ... and hawk it at the nearest pawn shop. Two wrongs don't necessarily make a right, but sometimes they make you feel all kinds of better.


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## Loudviking (Oct 23, 2011)

29Spec said:


> I've read couple of you guys saying, call the police.
> 
> Is this an American thing or something? You would call the police on your own sister for $500?
> 
> ...


No, it's called a MORALS thing, and apparently your grasp of this concept
is non-existent. It wasn't hers, it was taken without permission, and it was
stolen while in her possession. Don't know if it has dawned on you, but just
because they are siblings doesn't mean she is not a thief, and has done this
before. Maybe give her a hug, and give her a time-out?:nono:


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## FullyTorque (Jun 13, 2012)

mr2peak said:


> I then went on vacation to the Philippines for 2 months, and on the 16th of July she told me that she had taken my bike, without my permission...
> 
> She stole my bike once before, asked me for permission, I said no and she took it anyway. I told her if she ever did that again I wouldn't be forgiving.
> 
> ...


Just to refresh. She was definately not borrowing. She didn't have permission and didn't ask because she knew from experience that he would say no, so she stole it again.


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## FullyTorque (Jun 13, 2012)

That last part is what really sticks in my craw. She doesnt have the money to pay him back because she wants to build herself a bike. Soooo she has the money but is going to use it to build her own bike and leave him without.


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## arkon11 (Jul 26, 2009)

This is silly for sure. She seems very untrustworthy, but I'd never ever consider calling the police on a family member (unless it was a violence/abuse case), but yeah. It's $500, it sucks, but deal with it. Cut her out of your life, and maybe then she'll realize her wrong.


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## JuanCoglos (May 20, 2012)

Isn't it bike riding weather where any of you live? Jesus, it's not like someone bunny hopped a five year old....


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## 29Spec (Jun 26, 2012)

Loudviking said:


> No, it's called a MORALS thing, and apparently your grasp of this concept
> is non-existent. It wasn't hers, it was taken without permission, and it was
> stolen while in her possession. Don't know if it has dawned on you, but just
> because they are siblings doesn't mean she is not a thief, and has done this
> before. Maybe give her a hug, and give her a time-out?:nono:


I understand it was immoral for her to "borrow" the bike without his permission, that's not my point, if you read my post correctly.

My point is getting the police involved over $500 or less on your sister is not worth it. Yes, maybe, it'll teach her a lesson. But what are you going to do...follow up by pressing charges on her then take her to small claims court? Is it really worth putting that type of stress in a relationship between you and your sister for something that is $500 maybe less. I, personally, don't think so.

I'm not condoning her actions one bit. What she did is immoral, but bringing in the legal system against her is a bit much. I think the sister should repay for the lost bike.

Just my thought, that's all...



JuanCoglos said:


> Isn't it bike riding weather where any of you live? Jesus, it's not like someone bunny hopped a five year old....


Oh man, that was one thread where I actually read each post...lol.


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## iamunchien (Mar 30, 2008)

29Spec said:


> I'm not condoning her actions one bit. What she did is immoral, but bringing in the legal system against her is a bit much. I think the sister should repay for the lost bike.


but if she's not willing to pay, the what other recourse do you have than getting the legal involved?

you don't have to press criminal charges to file a small claims suit. and if you file criminal charges, you don't have to file a small claims suit.


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## 29Spec (Jun 26, 2012)

JuanCoglos said:


> Isn't it bike riding weather where any of you live? Jesus, it's not like someone bunny hopped a five year old....





iamunchien said:


> but if she's not willing to pay, the what other recourse do you have than getting the legal involved?
> 
> you don't have to press criminal charges to file a small claims suit. and if you file criminal charges, you don't have to file a small claims suit.


I understand...

Honestly, I feel like it might just be a difference in culture. I'm Korean and never in a million years would anyone in my family regardless of situation sue or press criminal charges against another family member. I consider myself to be pretty Americanized, but even in Korea, it just wouldn't happen. It just seems "unfamily-like", granted what she did was as well.

What I would do if she is unwilling to fork up the $500 is just deal with it. I think her realizing that she basically stole $500 from her brother is something she's gonna have to live with and also that she has definitely put a strain in the relationship with him. I feel like thats enough for her suffer with.


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## KingofWylieTX (Jul 30, 2012)

29Spec said:


> I think her realizing that she basically stole $500 from her brother is something she's gonna have to live with and also that she has definitely put a strain in the relationship with him. I feel like thats enough for her suffer with.


Bear in mind that she is causing him to suffer more.......strain on the relationship, his sister has stolen from him, loss of trust, AND he is out the bike/money. I don't feel too sorry for her.


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## DavyRay (Apr 13, 2012)

Some parents just have too many kids.

Ain't you lonely, being an only chile?

Nope.


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## Luclin999 (Jul 9, 2012)

Talk to her again. 

Make a recording of this conversation with her admitting that she stole your bike.

Play it for your parents, play it for your mutual friends and let peer pressure force her into doing the right thing. 

If she still doesn't do it then either take her to small claims court and use the tape as evidence for an easy verdict or go to the police and have her charged with a felony.

One of these methods WILL get through to her, it just depends on how far things have to go to get the job done.


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## Luclin999 (Jul 9, 2012)

Sandrenseren said:


> So if your brother goes away for 2 months and you decide to borrow his tent for a weekend of fishing without asking first, that makes you a thief?!?


*If you ask first and he explicitly say no?*

Then yes, you are a thief. Period.

The sister asked for the bike, the brother said NO.


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## Tillers_Rule (Sep 11, 2004)

How old is your sister? Post up pics here, that would show her not to steal any more of your bikes


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## Harold (Dec 23, 2003)

29Spec said:


> I understand...
> 
> Honestly, I feel like it might just be a difference in culture. I'm Korean and never in a million years would anyone in my family regardless of situation sue or press criminal charges against another family member. I consider myself to be pretty Americanized, but even in Korea, it just wouldn't happen. It just seems "unfamily-like", granted what she did was as well.
> 
> What I would do if she is unwilling to fork up the $500 is just deal with it. I think her realizing that she basically stole $500 from her brother is something she's gonna have to live with and also that she has definitely put a strain in the relationship with him. I feel like thats enough for her suffer with.


Maybe part is culture and maybe part is that you have not had to deal with sociopaths before. Sociopaths don't care what they put others through. Not saying the OP's sister is or is not, but it is possible she does not care that he is out $500 in recent work, a classic bike he liked, and trust in his sister. All those things together add up to a very high value. If she just doesn't care, he will never get anything out of her and she will likely try to take advantage of her doormat brother more often.

Is it possible that she sold the bike and made up the theft story? Taking it to a shop to be valued is fishy. Very fishy. If she did that, even worse.

The end of it is that she is not even trying to make the situation right on her own. What makes you think that she will be suffering at all over this?

Getting the reast of the family involved as others suggest might put more pressure on her to make it right, but it might not. It will have to be a unanimous effort. If someone refuses to participate or worse, sides with her, thatetgod won't work because it will be validation to her. It would be worth a try and would not preclude other options.

Where I come from, there is a thing called tough love. Sometimes family needs it. I know mine does at times


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## dirtdan (Jun 27, 2011)

I'd hit your parents up for the cash. They were the jerks that raised the self-centered brat of a ***** for a sister... Plus, they probably have more money than she does and are a better source of funds.


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## SpecializedWindsor (Jul 19, 2012)

Wow. I'm glad I don't live with someone like that. 
I'd kick her out and change the locks. 
If she still won't pay your asking price, file a lawsuit. 
She needs to start acting like an adult and stop behaving like a 3 year old.


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## FuzeB (Aug 8, 2012)

Gonna chain my rear wheel up at home, after reading through this post 



NateHawk said:


> 2. take her to Judge Judy, or otherwise file a civil suit against her (small claims court has a max monetary value, IIRC, and I don't know what it is).


Good idea. It's an interesting story, and I hear they pay both parties a few Gs just for being on, regardless of the outcome. :thumbsup:


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## Lickety Split (May 4, 2007)

Get drunk and beat her savagely.
LS


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## FullyTorque (Jun 13, 2012)

Just don't use a stick any thicker than your thumb, that wouldn't be proper.


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## crazy03 (Mar 15, 2011)

I say get some pliers and pull out one of her teeth for every $100 she owes you.....that'll teach her.


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## B-Mac (Oct 2, 2008)

You have every right to either sue your sister or pursue criminal charges. 

My advice: Drop it. She's your sister. But recognize that she's clearly a narcissist and act accordingly in the future (i.e. don't trust here with your stuff).


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## monzie (Aug 5, 2009)

crazy03 said:


> I say get some pliers and pull out one of her teeth for every $100 she owes you.....that'll teach her.


This seems like it has some staying power as far as teaching a lesson goes.


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## spn4125 (Mar 25, 2008)

I am surprised no one has brought the clear answer to this dilemma. When she is finished building her own bike take it as restitution.:thumbsup:

And as a side note I am very glad I am not related to some of you here, geez ruthless.


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## KingofWylieTX (Jul 30, 2012)

spn4125 said:


> I am surprised no one has brought the clear answer to this dilemma. When she is finished building her own bike take it as restitution.:thumbsup:


I bet she would call the police on him and have him charged with theft!!


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## aaronjbryant (May 25, 2012)

The bike does need to be reported stolen, but the thing is, "stolen" means the taker has no intention of returning it or letting you know their identity. It's a question of semantics, but if it's reported stolen, the cops would agree that the op's sister isn't the true thief. If you file a police report, she's not going to jail. She would have to talk to the cops though to explain the situation, and that would probably be enough of a pain in the bum she would probably think twice next time. She'd have to be a crappy thief to tell you she took it.


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## Luclin999 (Jul 9, 2012)

aaronjbryant said:


> The bike does need to be reported stolen, but the thing is, "stolen" means the taker has no intention of returning it or letting you know their identity. It's a question of semantics, but if it's reported stolen, the cops would agree that the op's sister isn't the true thief. If you file a police report, she's not going to jail. She would have to talk to the cops though to explain the situation, and that would probably be enough of a pain in the bum she would probably think twice next time. She'd have to be a crappy thief to tell you she took it.


Actually no.

If she took the bike without his consent then ~she~ can be charged with theft as could the person who "presumably" stole the bike from her.

Both actions are individual crimes concerning the same object.

Just because someone is a member of your family does NOT automatically give them permission to take your property without permission.

Frankly though I suspect that she took the bike then sold it for extra cash at some point along her trip (thus explaining the whole "I took it in for appraisal" line of BS).

To the OP: Report the bike a stolen to the police, have them arrest her and find out where she sold it then have the bike re-claimed as stolen property.

If you let her get away with this then you can probably expect her to steal from you again, possibly by pulling an identity theft scam using your personal information at some point further down the road.


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## Tystevens (Nov 2, 2011)

29Spec said:


> I've read couple of you guys saying, call the police.
> 
> Is this an American thing or something? You would call the police on your own sister for $500?
> 
> ...


No, it isn't an "American Thing," way to paint with a broad brush! It is the view of a few posters on this thread. Others of us 'Mericans would say don't bother, it's just $500, its your sister, deal with it in-house, or take it as a lesson learned.


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## Tystevens (Nov 2, 2011)

AZ.MTNS said:


> Sell her into slavery somewhere outside the country to recoup your money. Win/win, you get your money and she is not able to steal your stuff again. Plus she gets a new career, trifecta.


Finally, the right answer!


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## SpecializedWindsor (Jul 19, 2012)

29Spec said:


> I understand...
> 
> Honestly, I feel like it might just be a difference in culture. I'm Korean and never in a million years would anyone in my family regardless of situation sue or press criminal charges against another family member. I consider myself to be pretty Americanized, but even in Korea, it just wouldn't happen. It just seems "unfamily-like", granted what she did was as well.
> 
> What I would do if she is unwilling to fork up the $500 is just deal with it. I think her realizing that she basically stole $500 from her brother is something she's gonna have to live with and also that she has definitely put a strain in the relationship with him. I feel like thats enough for her suffer with.


So, what would you do if she stole another bike from him? It can't go on like that, and she's never going to understand the consequences of her actions that way. Firstly, she's old enough at 22 to be responsible for her actions. And this was the SECOND TIME she snatched a bike from him! She DOES NOT care about her actions. 
I wouldn't necessarily agree with other members that she has sociopathic behavior - for that, I would need more info - but it appears that she's a spoiled brat, which would make it the parents' fault for not raising her correctly. 
It's un-family-like to let something like this "pass".


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## Trees138 (Mar 4, 2012)

My sister would pay me. I would make sure of it.

The part that really irritates me is what BigT called out. She can't pay you back because she's buying a bike.

No joke, I'd drop it, wait for her to get the bike, then back over it until it was bits in front of her. 


I don't take kindly to being disrespected, esp by those that should treat you the best. It takes a special kind of **** to say that she can't pay you because she's buying a bike for herself. I have no respect for that attitude, from anyone, including family.


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## Tone's (Nov 12, 2011)

I would tie your sister up, chuck her in the back of your car, track down your local pimp, get her out of the car, give her to the pimp n get her to work her stealing little ass off until you have got your money back, and give him at least a 70% cut just to teach her a lesson and keep in contact with him for the next time she pulls the same **** on you :thumbsup:


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## Germany_chris (Sep 14, 2009)

mr2peak said:


> I want to know how you guys would handle this, and what you think is fair given the situation.
> 
> This is the bike: http://forums.mtbr.com/kona/my-explosif-re-build-766144.html
> 
> ...


It's your sister and a few hundred $, it's just not worth the pain blood really is thicker than water or money.


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## monzie (Aug 5, 2009)

^^Until you dilute it with ******** and *******ry; like stealing a bike, getting it stolen then refusing to pay what is fair/owed. Especially if you did this to a relative.


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## BIGABIGD (Jul 24, 2012)

I view this whole incident like I'd view lending a relative $400 and realizing one day that you're never gonna get it back. ... Whatever..lifes too short. Move on. There plenty of nice bikes out there... Go get one.


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## Germany_chris (Sep 14, 2009)

monzie said:


> ^^Until you dilute it with ******** and *******ry; like stealing a bike, getting it stolen then refusing to pay what is fair/owed. Especially if you did this to a relative.


Doesn't change a thing..


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## Methodical (Jul 14, 2012)

Judge Judy.

Seriously though I'd make her pay me even if a little bit per month. My brother did the same thing with my 1st ever road bike (Schwinn Traveler) and all I ever got from him was $50 (I paid $200 back in '82 I think), but over the years I got it back by getting him to buy things and then say deduct it from what you owe me. After that incident I began locking my bike at night. Family can be your worst enemies at time.


Also, the title shoudl read "Sister stole.....

Just One Man's Opinion.


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## monzie (Aug 5, 2009)

Germany_chris said:


> Doesn't change a thing..


Wish I were related to you.


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## billb3rd (Aug 9, 2012)

Sounds like it's time for judge Judy!!!!!!!!!!


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## AZ (Apr 14, 2009)

billb3rd said:


> Sounds like it's time for judge Judy!!!!!!!!!!


Nope, Judge Dredd. Biatch should be prosecuted with extreme prejudice.


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## wv_bob (Sep 12, 2005)

Trees138 said:


> My sister would pay me. I would make sure of it.
> 
> The part that really irritates me is what BigT called out. She can't pay you back because she's buying a bike.
> 
> No joke, I'd drop it, wait for her to get the bike, then back over it until it was bits in front of her.


There's your solution, simple, easy, makes the point.


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## d365 (Jun 13, 2006)

Money is just money. It means nothing in the end. Your sister is young and irresponsible in many ways. She owes you a big apology and a hug. Forgive her and move on. Hopefully, she will grow up, and you will share good times. That's what's important.


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## Trees138 (Mar 4, 2012)

the whole point of the family is that they help you grow up in the person you need to be. if he lets her off on this all she would learn is that it is okay to life cheat and steal. family isn't there just to make you feel better, family is also to help you be better.

Jmo.


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## 95silverstallion (Aug 2, 2012)

Ok...I havent read anyone else's repsonse but I say help her choose parts for her new build using parts that you like. Then take the bike from her and call it even.


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## monzie (Aug 5, 2009)

I think we're all forgetting that she's twenty ****in two. At 22 I was living on my own, paying my own way and had been for a while. I was also set in my ways and knew right from wrong and not to be a piece of **** to people--especially fam. She's not going to glean anything new from a stern talking that she will likely use. Take her pockets and her ride and cut ties to the ****.


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## Whason (Sep 15, 2008)

Pictures. I say post pictures like that other guy did 

IMO family is family. Its like a sister taking your car without asking and wrecking it. It happens. Unless she needs an intervention I think its forgiveable.


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## #Cyclelife (Jul 21, 2009)

I see it both ways. She HAS to be held responsible for her actions but on the other hand, she is your sister and that's far more important than a bike (but not a 3k$ bike LOL). Maybe find a way to express how much your sis means to you in conversation but also remind her of the consequences involved in her actions and to maybe meet you half way in your asking price. Make sure it's in that order so you can defuse any possible negative back lash. Just a thought..kill her with kindness and make her feel guilty LOL. Good luck!


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## Mark42 (Jul 29, 2012)

Not sure what to say. Some people walk around wiping their butt and then making a sandwich with the same unwashed hand. Know people like that? 

Then there are others who just toss thousands into a bike, then run it over backing out of their driveway. Morons one and all. Know what I mean? 

So you spent a lot of money on parts to upgrade a frame. Then your sister looses it. 

Don't know what to tell you other than you didn't spend enough money and start with a more expensive frame to make this a "worry about" thread. 

Nice build, btw. But you should have bought better, more expensive parts. If you did, you never would have put the bike in a situation where it could have been taken by your sister. 

Know what I mean?


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## crazy03 (Mar 15, 2011)

Mark42;9579297 Know what I mean?[/QUOTE said:


>


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## armoredsaint (Aug 8, 2012)

Lickety Split said:


> Get drunk and beat her savagely.
> LS


lol


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## SpecializedWindsor (Jul 19, 2012)

Mark42 said:


> Not sure what to say. Some people walk around wiping their butt and then making a sandwich with the same unwashed hand. Know people like that?
> 
> Then there are others who just toss thousands into a bike, then run it over backing out of their driveway. Morons one and all. Know what I mean?
> 
> ...


What?...:shocked:
You have got to be kidding me. Do you really think that she wouldn't have stolen his bike had he put more money into the build? You are completely ignoring the fact that this was the SECOND time she stole a bike from him. 
Yeesh.
:nono:
You know what I mean???


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## 29Spec (Jun 26, 2012)

Mark42 said:


> Not sure what to say. Some people walk around wiping their butt and then making a sandwich with the same unwashed hand. Know people like that?
> 
> Then there are others who just toss thousands into a bike, then run it over backing out of their driveway. Morons one and all. Know what I mean?
> 
> ...


Awful logic...


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## Tone's (Nov 12, 2011)

Mark42 said:


> Not sure what to say. Some people walk around wiping their butt and then making a sandwich with the same unwashed hand. Know people like that?
> 
> Then there are others who just toss thousands into a bike, then run it over backing out of their driveway. Morons one and all. Know what I mean?
> 
> ...


LOL Mark, are you Irish ................:skep:


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## Glide the Clyde (Nov 12, 2009)

d365 said:


> Money is just money. It means nothing in the end. Your sister is young and irresponsible in many ways. She owes you a big apology and a hug. Forgive her and move on. Hopefully, she will grow up, and you will share good times. That's what's important.


I just threw up in my mouth a little.

I sure don't understand why so many here think forgiveness, love, family relationships, and all that, should be without consequences. I love my kids, hug them, and I forgive them when they do things that are selfish, negatively affect me, bring about negative consequences, but love doesn't mean I bail them out or try to make things completely painless for them. There are lessons that would never come to light if I did that. They fall, they get up, and I help them where I can in a healthy way that honors my boundaries and their best long-term interest.

Your sister needs accountability, simple as that. She needs to make reparations. She may choose not to and you can forgive her but it doesn't mean that there won't be something broken in your relationship, that trust will never be an issue.


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## SAGiant (Jul 4, 2012)

jmmorath said:


> I'd say since she took it without permission and it got stolen during that time, she is completely liable for either your asking price or a directly comparable replacement bike.
> 
> If you had given her permission, it may be a different story.
> 
> ...


I agree with this, but add, make a police report if she doesn't agree to replace it the very next time you two speak, then press charges on her

Using Tapatalk 3


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## alexplantman (May 1, 2006)

Such a minor problem..and you bring it on here? Go complain to mommy and daddy; let them resolve it..

This sounds like the sh)t you see on TV with the ******** living in motor homes on Jerry Springer , Judge Judy, etc.. lol...


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## swingset (Oct 14, 2010)

d365 said:


> Money is just money. It means nothing in the end. Your sister is young and irresponsible in many ways. She owes you a big apology and a hug. Forgive her and move on. Hopefully, she will grow up, and you will share good times. That's what's important.


Yeah, a big hug and saying sorry will make her grow up.

NOT.


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## dickeydoo (May 11, 2007)

I have a sister that is now over 50 years old and has been doing this **** for years to various family members. I knew not to trust her a very long time ago. Sitting around the camp fire holding hands and singing *** Bay Yah with them won't help. 

The sister said she had it appraised for what 350$ ? Thats what she was paid for the bike when she sold it. :nono:


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## Whason (Sep 15, 2008)

The sister said she had it appraised for what 350$ ? Thats what she was paid for the bike when she sold it. :nono:[/QUOTE]

That is a good point. Who is to say she didn't sell it. Why would she take it to a store to get it appraised?

No response from the original poster? No pictures? This thread sux


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## Chiodos Bros (Aug 14, 2012)

Yeah, I agree with what most people have said here. You should probably try to get something like $400 now and some more later once she gets a couple paychecks.


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## el donkey (Jun 22, 2012)

Chop off a hand!


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## aBicycle (Jun 13, 2012)

95 GT Rebound said:


> I see it both ways. She HAS to be held responsible for her actions but on the other hand, she is your sister and that's far more important than a bike (but not a 3k$ bike LOL). Maybe find a way to express how much your sis means to you in conversation but also remind her of the consequences involved in her actions and to maybe meet you half way in your asking price. Make sure it's in that order so you can defuse any possible negative back lash. Just a thought..kill her with kindness and make her feel guilty LOL. Good luck!


She's a sociopath. She doesn't care how he feels.


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## fatcat (Mar 11, 2006)

Your sister may be on crack or some other type of drug/alcohol. Lying is a prime
example of addicts, you can trust them as far as you can throw 'em. 

If she's not on drugs, though she can lie to you and say she isn't as well, then
write it off, its an old bike anyways. My younger sister dropped my '72 Fender 
Telecaster and the neck snapped off, it was worth more than $500 but I got over it.
She never game me a dime to repair it.

But make this certain, you can now call her a b!tch anytime you want.


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## Tone's (Nov 12, 2011)

fatcat said:


> Your sister may be on crack or some other type of drug/alcohol. Lying is a prime
> example of addicts, you can trust them as far as you can throw 'em.
> 
> If she's not on drugs, though she can lie to you and say she isn't as well, then
> ...


Fat cat, your sister had an accident with your fender, thats a totally different story, the chick we are talking about stole her bros bike says it was flogged n she doesnt want to fix the problem, there is no similarities between yours n his story at all, cheers
imo, she probably has the money from selling the bike 2 one of her mates on her ''road trip' to pay for the trip, drugs, the mate she sold it to is probably the same person that appraised the bike for 350 bucks, id chop her bloody hands of then give her to a pimp to raise the money back.........


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## SpecializedWindsor (Jul 19, 2012)

aBicycle said:


> She's a sociopath. She doesn't care how he feels.


That doesn't make her a sociopath. There are many other things to consider before one can make that claim. 
But you are right in that she doesn't give a [email protected] about how this whole incident makes him feel.


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## jugdish (Apr 1, 2004)

6 pages and no one has asked if she's hot?


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## Silentfoe (May 9, 2008)

jugdish said:


> 6 pages and no one has asked if she's hot?


I have an incredible imagination and I've been playing this scenario out in my head all morning. Yes, she's totally hot!


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## bigpedaler (Jan 29, 2007)

Sandrenseren said:


> So if your brother goes away for 2 months and you decide to borrow his tent for a weekend of fishing without asking first, that makes you a thief?!? Strange relations to have with a sibling.
> 
> My brother has carte blanche to borrow my stuff and vice versa. If he's around I'll ask first. If he's away on vacation I just borrow stuff, knowing very well that he doesn't need it before he's back anyway.We grew up together and used to share stuff all the time, the main reason to ask permission these days is to make sure it's not inconvenient, for example "can I take your fishing rod this weekend or do you have plans yourself?".
> 
> ...


You're the one with strange relationships; you have decided, within your own family, that mutual respect is unnecessary.

I have extended family living with me; I am so close with my sister's husband that we consider each other BROTHERS; he's my brother for REAL, more so than my own blood brothers. (NO ONE has been there for him like I have, either, HE told me that....) Anything we have, the other is welcome to...if we ASK. RESPECT requires that you ASK first.

OP's sister didn't ask, helped herself to something that had value to him. Not just $$ value, but HISTORY. That's not something you trifle with! Sister decided that what she wanted at that moment was more important than ANY consideration of her brother and his life. I HAD a wife who did that with tools that I bought SPECIFICALLY to go to a tech school; didn't get to go, and we divorced bitterly (34-y-o, acted about 8, hated it when I pointed that out).


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## Heist! (Aug 1, 2012)

This thread is still going?! 
Look my friend, this is the way you handle the situation. Guaranteed she'll never touch another thing of yours ever again, will become quite compliant, and enthused to make full monetary restitution.

http://forums.mtbr.com/9594942-post6.html


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## d77 (Aug 14, 2012)

Take whatever amount of money she's offering you. She's your sister, it's not worth fighting over. People saying to call the cops on your sister are just nuts.


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## FullyTorque (Jun 13, 2012)

*It's still going....*

I don't know bout how they do things there, but here in Alabama if yer sister stole yer bicycle it'd be grounds for divorce.


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## d77 (Aug 14, 2012)

FullyTorque said:


> I don't know bout how they do things there, but here in Alabama if yer sister stole yer bicycle it'd be grounds for divorce.


:smilewinkgrin::smilewinkgrin:


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## mr2peak (May 25, 2009)

Heist! said:


> You're missing the point, Blurr.
> It's not an argument over money - it's an argument over morals, principles, and trust.


This is the best single post in this entire thread. It's why I started this thread. It's not about the money, it's about the ethics of dealing with this crappy situation. ETHICS. THE BEST, MOST FAIR WAY TO MAKE IT RIGHT!

And talking of such, I may have to take her to small claims court. The way that she has been treating me, cutting off lines of communication, buying a new bike for herself (yes, she is building herself a new bike), shows that she doesn't care about me at all. I have nothing to loose relationship wise by taking her to court, it's already gone. Hopefully she will grow and learn from this mistake, as I am.


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## Tone's (Nov 12, 2011)

mr2peak said:


> This is the best single post in this entire thread. It's why I started this thread. It's not about the money, it's about the ethics of dealing with this crappy situation. ETHICS. THE BEST, MOST FAIR WAY TO MAKE IT RIGHT!
> 
> And talking of such, I may have to take her to small claims court. The way that she has been treating me, cutting off lines of communication, buying a new bike for herself (yes, she is building herself a new bike), shows that she doesn't care about me at all. I have nothing to loose relationship wise by taking her to court, it's already gone. Hopefully she will grow and learn from this mistake, as I am.


Well mate im sorry this is still going for you and to make matters worse she is now building her own bike, your not alone this **** happens in plenty of families all over the world, it looks like most of the sensible posters in this thread were right, sister or no sister this is about morals n values not so much about the money, its sad its come to thinking about taking her to the small court but you will have to file a police report before this or they will chuck it outa court, i would go to the cops and file a stolen report and see if they will go and question her that might spark her into action before taking her to court, cheers mate..


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## Pimpride (Nov 14, 2005)

How about get over it. Lil' sis wants to ride. I say, let her ride!


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## Tone's (Nov 12, 2011)

Pimpride said:


> How about get over it. Lil' sis wants to ride. I say, let her ride!


great attitude lol, how bout lil sis thats 22 years old learns some morals n values instead of treating her brother like **** and freeloading off him, its not like she is 15, she is an adult that stole her brothers bike and sold it, swapped it or got it stolen, now she is building her own and is treating her bro with no respect, its poor form no matter how you look at it..


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## justin_amador (Dec 2, 2009)

Maybe all the people saying that Money's just Money and that family's more important can all chip in a few bucks for the OP and get him a new bike? $20 here, $50 there. He'll have the $500 in no time. And then his family can be all healed up and happy, since that's what's important.


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## mr2peak (May 25, 2009)

justin_amador said:


> Maybe all the people saying that Money's just Money and that family's more important can all chip in a few bucks for the OP and get him a new bike? $20 here, $50 there. He'll have the $500 in no time. And then his family can be all healed up and happy, since that's what's important.


As much as I'd love my new MTBR bike, covered in forum members' names, it wouldn't really solve the problem-

I'd still be pissed that she didn't own up and take responsibility.
And she'd learn absolutely nothing.. Other than mountain bikers on a forum are way better persons than she is, and she can count on others to bail her out.

That said, if you all want to buy me a bike, I'll be poring out the first sip of every beer I drink for the next 10 years in your names!

But honestly, there are better charities out there


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## mr2peak (May 25, 2009)

Also, my whole family has read this thread now. Some of you can feel proud for your contributions! Others, well, I'm not gonna beat my sister with a stick larger than my thumb  

I sent my sister the link as well when I first started the thread (gave her a chance to voice out), but I doubt she made it past the first page.


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## abegold (Jan 30, 2004)

My brother borrowed my bike when I was a kid and it got stolen. I got nothing. Somehow the police found it, then it got stolen while locked up as I watched a movie. I learned thin cable for locking a bike is a very bad idea, young.
Then he borrowed my first car and smashed it up, my dad fixed it. I was without one for 2 weeks.
A close friend borrowed my road bike, got it damaged by a car and then stolen, I got nothing.
IF YOU GET ANY COMPENSATION, CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY.
After you start spending thousands on bikes it won't seem that important.


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## sanjuro (Sep 29, 2004)

Most non-riders have no idea the value of bikes. They own handmedowns or $50 bikes, and they may not realize that your machine is worth a lot of dough.

Not that it is any excuse to let even a beater bike get stolen.


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## Pimpride (Nov 14, 2005)

Ok, let me re-phrase it. Lil' sis is gonna ride no matter what you got to say about it. All we can do is make sure she's doing it safely with the proper tools and instruction.


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## mr2peak (May 25, 2009)

abegold said:


> After you start spending thousands on bikes it won't seem that important.


My current other bike is a 2009 Turner 5 Spot.. I'm terrified that she might touch that next.


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## Glide the Clyde (Nov 12, 2009)

Pimpride said:


> Lil' sis is gonna ride no matter what you got to say about it. All we can do is make sure she's doing it safely with the proper tools and instruction.


WTF are you talking about and what does this have to do with the original topic/question? And, whoTF cares if she gets the proper tools and instruction?


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## STT GUY (May 19, 2009)

This could save you thousands...... Take her to small claims court (you'll win) and then you wont ever have to send here a birthday card, graduation, wedding gift, house warmng gift, baby shower gift, etc....etc.....because she'll hate you forever. 

Or......... take what she offers, call it even and tell her that if she ever takes anything of yours again without your express permission you will file charges. She'll be pissed but you'll both get over it.


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## Joel RW (Nov 26, 2011)

This is like the episode of judge judy i never watched.


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## 2wheelsnotfour (Aug 18, 2010)

You absolutely need to take her to court if at all possible. That girl needs and deserves a lesson. It is not about the money. Its the principle of the thing. She clearly lacks a moral compass and is self centered. Its possible a lesson might prevent her from doing something even more severe which lands her in jail for a long time in the future.

I'm curious as heck what your parents think of this situation. What are they saying? Have they really read the responses here?

I have some pathetic family members who I absolutely do not trust. I make sure they know zero about my affairs. If I were you, I would change your locks. Make sure she doesn't have any easy access to your stuff. Make sure no one else in your family would allow her access to your stuff intentionally or unintentionally. For example, if your parents have a key to your place, could she steel that key? Lastly, start being secretive about what you allow her to know about your affairs. For example, don't let her know you bought anything recently like a stereo, bike, or anything. Start distancing yourself. She's trouble.


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## Okultis (Dec 8, 2011)

She acts like a sociopath. Ask money back, its your call how much bike is worth. But she will not pay you i guess. Normal person dont fight and pays bills. She maybe even sell a bike. Best thing to do is to know this type of person and to be on alert for frauds. Lock your staff.


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## jetty32 (Aug 28, 2012)

bummer, go buy another buy, case closed.


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## monzie (Aug 5, 2009)

Not sure if it will make anyone else's blood boil again but, here's the bike she stole.


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