# peddaling away drepession and anxiety.



## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

and hopefully eventually loneliness  

I got into biking, mainly for fitness reasons. I was always skinny as a rail as a kid, I could eat anything and it did not matter. as a sophomore in high school I was 6'1" and 140 pounds soaking wet, and what muscle I did have was all in my legs. My junior year I discovered that unlike before, If I worked out I actually would put on muscle. So I started working out, nothing crazy just some push ups and curls and just really basic stuff at home. I never got "huge" but I was very "fit" ... fast forward late twenties ....

I never considered dieting, or watching what I ate, the idea was laughable to me. I had a girlfriend, life was good. Then my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I will never forget what I was doing, where I was and how it made me feel when I got that news. It was very far along and there was nothing to be done. She passed away Christmas eve less than a year later. After that I developed anxiety problems, as well as becoming somewhat of a hypochondriac, every time I got a cold, or was sore, or anything.. I was petrified, I was terrified to go to a doctor for fear I might actually have something. I was told I should "be on something" but the idea of taking pills to feel normal never has set with me, I have friends who are on meds to "level them out" and it seems like I never see them excited or fired up about anything, I cant live that way. I delt with it as best I could, but I worried, a lot.. about anything.. did I miss paying a bill... Opening the mail box would give me a panic attack.. no reason why.. just.. worried there might be some sort of bad news in there. Its really hard to explain it. then my relationship of 7 years (girlfriend, never married) ended in a most spectacular way that very well could have seen me going to jail, (caught her with another guy). 

So add depression into the mix of crap I was already dealing with and I was pretty much a walking wreck.. I sat on my ass a lot, I had no drive to do anything.. WHAM!! 225 pounds... So I was just basically shitty. I was in bad shape, mental wreck, no self esteem what so ever, and on the road to becoming overweight.

Then I turned 30... nuff said.. 

So One morning, I wake up.. and I just think about the fact that im in horrid shape, stressed and paranoid and I have nobody. Something clicked. I knew I had to do something, but what? I decided to try to get back in shape, in the hopes that doing so would also ease my mind. I tried running, and I did lose weight.. but I hated it, and I knew I would never stick with it. I would eventually get sick of it and quit and the weight would come back. I needed something i could actually enjoy. I had not ridden a bike since I got my first car. So I headed to academy and bought a Maxim or something. Then headed to the park, I knew I was on to something. I rode until my legs were just dead.. so half an hour.. But I loved it, I really enjoyed it, and 3 days later when my legs were no longer knots of hell and anguish I went again, but this time I took a pack with my camera in it (I like photography) So I spent the entire evening cruising park trails and taking pictures, It was amazing. before I even got home I was itching to ride more. Of course when I did get home I found out my thighs had staged a full scale revolt and my ass was not going anywhere, I did good to make it up the stairs. 

I rode the academy bike into the ground, got another one.. and just kept at it. every single day I would get home, change, load up the bike and head to the park, ride until dark.

I also noticed not only was I getting in better shape, my anxiety and other gremlins were almost none existent.. I didn't have time to worry about nonsense and crap.. my mind was always on my next ride.

Finally I bought my first "real' bike, a nice trek. Which I put more miles on that my truck.

That was a few months ago, I still ride, every single day, have been riding in total for maybe only 4 months.. I'm now 215 pounds, but Ive gone from a tight fitting 36 waste to a comfy 34, and compared to before its like Im made of wood. And I'm just absolutely shocked how much energy I have now. I cant hit the trails for hours on end, get home, work out and then go for ANOTHER ride around the neighborhood.. and still I cannot wait for the next ride. i ride the local park Monday through Friday and then on the weekend I go somewhere else to ride, the feeling of exploring is like when I was a little kid. 



I just cant get over how amazing it is, that I can do it every single day and not only do I not get bored with it, I get more and more into it, and then I see the results and I get even more jacked about it.

I just wanted to share my experience, I drive my friends nutts talking about it so I figured it would get it out here hehehe


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## Cujo (Jun 10, 2004)

:thumbsup: Awesome.


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

From Yesterday at Palmetto State Park.:thumbsup:

EDIT: excuse the absurd look on my face, I had just landed a small jump so thats why.


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## rhale (Aug 15, 2010)

Awesome. It's amazing how exercise helps our mental state. I'm a Chiropractor and I deal DAILY with patients that complain of depression and anxiety. Best treatment is exercise, 3000mg of Omega's/day, and for some high doses of Niacin can help tremendously. Keep up the good work and good luck!


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

appreciate it. Im not quite where I want to be yet, but the road to get there looks to be a blast.


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## jeffw-13 (Apr 30, 2008)

By all means post up more of your pictures. We love that stuff here.

Like you I started riding because I was looking for a fun way to build up my cardio. Like you, I also found the rides therapeutic, and the sense of exploration scratched me where I itch.


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## INeedGears! (Jul 29, 2010)

Good work! Keep on riding and enjoy the positive changes heading your way


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## nephets0 (Mar 16, 2011)

good job! i decided to get a bike so i can have something fun to do...

its sad cause its 930... and i want to go ride some more...


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## arkon11 (Jul 26, 2009)

Awesome man. I hate to put a damper on the moment, but I suggest you invest in a helmet. A helmet has saved my sorry skull way to many time


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## 2fargon (Jan 22, 2011)

AWESOME! I find riding helps me in the same ways. I'm a recovering drug addict and riding helps me in just about every aspect of my life. I rode once with a buddy about 5 years ago when I first cleaned up and died the entire time. I hated every second of it. I still smoked at the time and I felt it. Well I quit smoking about a year later but still wasn't about to get back on a mountain bike. I then started a new job where I don't move all day like I did working construction and gained about 40 pounds. Last spring I just woke up one day and decided I wanted to trade my dirt bike for a nice mountain bike and it was on from there. I dropped the 40 pounds by the end of the summer and have kept it off. I've dealt with anxiety and depression my whole life and I find it almost impossibe to be anxious or depressed while I'm riding. It truly has changed my life in many ways. Sorry don't mean to thread jack, you just got me going here! Don't stop riding!


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## gallorody (Feb 1, 2004)

Thanks for sharing! I caught the riding bug about ten years ago and this June I'm going on a two week MTBing vacation. It's also helped me through some hard times and made some good times better.


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## annamagpie (Jun 5, 2009)

Melancholy is incompatible with bicycling. ~James E. Starrs


congratulations and keep having fun! and please post your photos!


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## sunset1123 (Apr 28, 2009)

That is truly awesome. Way to get yourself through and out of a tough spot. I can sympathize partly. Where we live, you can count the number of times you see the sun in a month on one hand usually... at least through the winter (and its still snowing here)... so my struggle has been with SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Something about the gloom just sets off the depression. So I ride as much as possible, even in the dark and stupid cold. It helps. I think any exercise is good medicine for the body and mind, but something about the "symmetric cyclic" sports like running, swimming, and cycling seem especially balancing. I'll take a 2 hour ride anytime, anywhere instead of an anti-depressant.

Thank you for your story. Everyone who can overcome their fears and really live life is a true inspiration.


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

Well I don't have many photos of ME, that is tricky for obvious reasons, I just take pics of the places I go.

The last one is from this weekend, I took my camper to lake wood, I tried to spread the bike love as you can see by all the bikes, If you wanted to stay in the camper, you had to bring a bike


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## IJBCape (Jun 14, 2010)

Awesome post man! Good to hear someone's story and relate. I stuffed a lot of riding into the last two days cuz we have rain coming tomorrow. I end up riding alone a ton b/c I work from home and just go whenever I feel like it. So my phone is FULL of pics like that - where I ride hah. I might have to invest in one of those gopro cams.

Take care and ride on.


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

IJBCape said:


> Awesome post man! Good to hear someone's story and relate. I stuffed a lot of riding into the last two days cuz we have rain coming tomorrow. I end up riding alone a ton b/c I work from home and just go whenever I feel like it. So my phone is FULL of pics like that - where I ride hah. I might have to invest in one of those gopro cams.
> 
> Take care and ride on.


Yea a go-pro is defiantly on my list. It might be up against a new bike though in terms of funds allocation. Love my trek to death, but I'm already looking at some higher end stuff, considering I ride every single day and love it so much, it justifies the cost.


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## p0is0n0ak (May 17, 2007)

Love the story , man. I am right there with you.

In my 20s I was a mountainbiking fanatic in great shape: 6' 2" 180lbs 10% body fat. But then, I let life get me down. You know, there was always something else I needed to do. My riding gradually dwindled down to the point where I rode only twice in 2 years. In fact, I didn't ride at all for a full year. As a result, I gained alot of weight, topping out at 285lbs. I was depressed and suffering from anxiety. The worse I felt, the more I ate and drank to compensate, which of course, made me feel even worse; thus, the cycle spun out of control.

On my 35th birthday last year, the worst day of my life, I knew I needed to break the cycle, so I broke out my bike, tuned it up and hit the trail. I lasted about 15 minutes before I died, but weather permitting, I have ridden at least 3-5 times a week. It's been one year now and this morning, I weighed in at 225lbs. Anxiety and depression are now gone and my outlook is positive.

I've got my old passion back. Keep with it and everything will work out.


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

Way to go ja001son. There is no drug better than life itself. Keep up the riding and the funny looks after jumps.


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## ZachTX (Feb 20, 2010)

ja001son said:


> Well I don't have many photos of ME, that is tricky for obvious reasons, I just take pics of the places I go.
> 
> The last one is from this weekend, I took my camper to lake wood, I tried to spread the bike love as you can see by all the bikes, If you wanted to stay in the camper, you had to bring a bike


Those last 2 pics sure looks like powerline hill at walnut creek up in North Austin. Is it?

Ditto, here. Nothing "resets" me like a good ride!


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## rotten1 (Jun 25, 2007)

*Good job!*

I felt CRAPPY well up to Wednesday, Thursday was fantastic and I did much neglected yard work instead of riding, Friday got in a 16 miler, rained Saturday, 22 miler yesterday and my brain and body feel so much better.

2 things:
I rode just like you, got a little burned out on it, so be careful of that. Trail, location and bike variety helps that.
I have broken three helmets in 10 years so put a lid on it. They cost less than breaking your noggin.


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## pointerDixie214 (Feb 10, 2009)

Awesome, awesome post. Very inspiring. 

But as some others said... helmet will allow you to keep posting on here. :thumbsup:


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## Clones123 (Apr 29, 2010)

I bike - and take meds - to help with chronic depression and minor anxiety but my BIG stress reliever has become trail-building. Hack, chop, saw, burn, dig, sweat a lot, bleed a little. It's totally awesome to ride a trail I made myself or to clean a log ramp that I built from logs I cut.

I'm extremely lucky that I've got a neglected green space in my neighborhood. It's narrow in places - only 20-30 yards wide at times- but it's fairly long, about a half-mile. I've spent the last five months carving out a number of bike trails and obstacles that I now ride almost every day (and often at night with a twin-light setup). Great way to get in shape, burn calories and even meet people who stop to talk.

If I wasn't working on my own trails, I'd definitely be looking to participate in some organized trail-building at my local MTB trails - there's usually something going on and always a need for volunteers. I ride there too but loading up for a 20-minute drive to the trail head isn't the same as riding my own trails that I prune and maintain myself.

Just another avenue to consider.


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

ZachTX said:


> Those last 2 pics sure looks like powerline hill at walnut creek up in North Austin. Is it?


Yup! :thumbsup:

I had a friend back in high school, who was into drugs and had all sorts of problems.. weight etc etc well he fell off the face of the earth. Well my cousin who lives in Austin told me, I needed to hook up with this dude she knew, that he biked a lot and could show me around, she gives me his number and low and behold, its the same guy. Except hes thinner than me, clean and in great shape, hes actually going off to some school to get professionally trained for working on bikes, and works at some donate a bike place in his free time. His story is probably way better than mine. But that was amazing, had not seen or heard from him in around a decade. We went to a couple different places in Austin, i had a great time.

EDIT: and yea I'm going to get a helmet soon, I had been putting it off because I really didn't know what I needed or what to look for, that and there is no local place for me to really get one, either have to order it or go out of town which kinda sucks.


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## Clones123 (Apr 29, 2010)

*Helmet recommendations needed *
http://forums.mtbr.com/showthread.php?t=694379


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## troyer2112 (Mar 31, 2008)

Yes Yes Yes!


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## wizzer16 (Sep 9, 2010)

awesome!


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## Shark (Feb 4, 2006)

Cool, glad things are turning around for you!

X3 on the helmet, I only mention because I had one save my noggin last year too.


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## charlesinoc (May 17, 2009)

Awesome story, it's inspiring. Keep up the good work!!!


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

rhale said:


> 3000mg of Omega's/day, and for some high doses of Niacin can help tremendously.


Was meaning to ask you about this, I have fish oil (Omega - 3) 1200MGs/each, is that good? and I went ahead and picked up some Niacin today when I was out.

What dosage would your recommend on the Niacin? I doubt its possible to really take a damaging amount unless you just really go crazy with it, but I don't want to waste it or take too little to do any good.

As I said I'm much much better than before, but it seems often in the mornings I still get some anxiety that lingers till i get the day rolling.


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## Rejor11 (Mar 12, 2011)

Hey guy  That's a good story to read! I am somewhat similar. I deal with a bit of depression at times. At times I feel like I get a bit too lonely and depressed.

Riding helps me deal with that quite easily. I also picked it up to get into better shape. I'm 5'10" and 205lbs currently and I wear 36" jeans with a belt.... I think I have a 34 or 35" waist. I have dense muscle mass, so I look lighter than I am.

Either way, I've been getting into longer trail rides lately. I've been riding about 2 hours every saturday until recently. A couple weekends ago I went to santos trailhead and rode for about 3 hours, and last saturday I went to another trail and rode for a good four hours. It felt great even as my body was hating me. 

Unfortunatly, the closest trail here is in Mayport, which is about a fourty minute drive from where I live, so I can't drive there everyday (although I might start doing that soon). So I crosstrain with a good 30 minute run almost everyday and I also go to the gym after work.


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## eminefes (Sep 11, 2008)

Rejor11 said:


> Hey guy  That's a good story to read! I am somewhat similar. I deal with a bit of depression at times. At times I feel like I get a bit too lonely and depressed.
> 
> Riding helps me deal with that quite easily. I also picked it up to get into better shape. I'm 5'10" and 205lbs currently and I wear 36" jeans with a belt.... I think I have a 34 or 35" waist. I have dense muscle mass, so I look lighter than I am.
> 
> ...


Hanna Park is my closest trail....about 40 minutes for me, too. I also like to go to San Felasco when I don't mind driving for 1.5 hours. Cycling has helped a lot with my depression and anxiety, though it's still a battle I'm fighting.


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## ridelikeafatkid (Mar 26, 2009)

I have never sought professional help for a diagnosis, but if I am inactive for extended periods I find that my personality dramatically changes for the worse. I have been through MANY hobbies trying to find one that "takes the edge off" and the one I keep coming back to is cycling. Road doesn't do it for me as well as mtb, but will work in a pinch!
I am off the bike for 6 weeks due to coming off the bike in a dramaic fashion. The dr. Prescribed Valium along with vicodin and motrin for me while sternum/cartilage/broken ribs heal. While the Valium "takes the edge off" I still find myself too agro. I can't get back on the bike soon enough! WITH a new helmet cuz I broke the old one on the same rock that broke me! 
Great post and "pedal damnit!"


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## Stupendous Man (Jan 12, 2004)

Good on ya brother!

Your story sounds almost identical to mine (except the girlfriend part) Similar body build and everything. I was skinny as a rail and strong as an ox in high school, and never thought I would lose it like I did. But I sure did. Since I started biking (and cut out soft drinks!) I went from almost 250# at my worst, to hovering steady around 180-185. Still 20# more than I was in high school, but at 39 yrs, Im okay with that.


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## Sarguy (Sep 25, 2010)

Excellent story. I can relate. Ditto on the less anxiety and higher level of energy. I might add, although I'm probably jinxing myself, but I no longer get sick. I used to have daily headaches, and popped Vitamin "M" known as Motrin all the time. I haven't had one (headache or motrin) since I started riding again. I dropped 17 lbs early on and I'm maintaining my new weight. I feel great all the time although, I'm constantly muscle sore, but it's a soreness that goes away when I ride.

Great pictures too!


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## skankingbiker (Jan 15, 2010)

ridelikeafatkid said:


> Road doesn't do it for me as well as mtb


Thats cause you can still think of all the crap thats bugging you when riding on the road. On a MTB, "if you think, you're dead."


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## eric1971 (Apr 29, 2004)

Thanks for posting your story. I'm trying to get back in the habit of riding regularly after not riding much the last two years. You have definitly inspired me!


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## Eric Z (Sep 28, 2008)

very very cool story. thanks so much for sharing. sometimes life sucks and it's important to still focus on the positives (they are always there) and move forward. even getting out of the house for a quick walk each day is important.

keep it up!
ez


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## jasevr4 (Feb 23, 2005)

Top work man! People really underestimate how much some exercise can do for their quality of life. Yes, there's some hard work from time to time, but the pay offs are more than worth it!

My mum just rode from Melbourne to Adelaide (Australia) - about 1080km/670miles to raise money for a new cancer research facility.

There are no limits in life - that goes both ways. There are no limits to how lazy, bored and depressed one can be, but there are also no limits as to what amazing things you can achieve, especially with a bicycle!

Live to ride, ride to live! :thumbsup:


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## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

I'm getting very depressed because I can't get out to ride. I love it up here in the Northern Adirondacks, but sometimes it has it's drawbacks.

This has been the worst sping I can remember up here & things are not going too good for me financially.

I've been out of work for nearly 2 years & my 22 yr old son still thinks I'm responsible for his well being regardless of his stupid life choices.

I think I have finally gotten my wife to realize that we need to cut him off or we will sink ourselves. 

Right now W/the truck he destoyed & decided to quit making payments on (I co-signed the loan) & us running out about $75 worth of gass a week (in a 5 speed manual VW Jetta no less) picking up his daughter for HIS visitation, he's costing us almost $600 a month that we don't have.

We love our 2 yr old grand daughter, but he's using that to take advantage of us. He & his live in (8 months pregnant by him W/a 2 year old of her own) GF went out after they got their tax check & bought a $500 TV, a $200 kitchen playset for thier kids & now he says he can't afford to buy a car! Christ, they bought a new car seat & don't even have a car!

He says that he can't afford a car because he doesn't have a job & he's not even getting unemploment but how can he get a job W/O a car?

Now I find out that we owe money on our taxes this year.

All that would be easier to take if it would stop raining & the wind would get down under 15 MPH during the warm part of the day. Riding has been the only way I have been able to keep the depression & anxiety in check myself. It's something that i can do that doesn't cost me $$$$.

God I hope this weather breaks soon before i do.


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## Eric Z (Sep 28, 2008)

XCSKIBUM said:


> I'm getting very depressed because I can't get out to ride. I love it up here in the Northern Adirondacks, but sometimes it has it's drawbacks.
> 
> This has been the worst sping I can remember up here & things are not going too good for me financially.
> 
> ...


wow, sounds tough. i have no advice to give you other than hang in there. i wish you the best and i hope the weather breaks for you so you can at least get some riding in


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## DLd (Feb 15, 2005)

Just wanted to let you know the effect isn't just in your head.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17846259

and the multi-year follow-up:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21148807

A quick quote from the first study: "The efficacy of exercise in patients seems generally comparable with patients receiving antidepressant medication and both tend to be better than the placebo in patients with MDD." MDD=Major Depressive Disorder.

Also, nice pics.


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## todb (Jul 25, 2008)

This is an amazing thread about someone wanting to and actually changing thier life. Keep riding and I will try to start back up again as well.


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

XCSKIBUM said:


> I'm getting very depressed because I can't get out to ride. I love it up here in the Northern Adirondacks, but sometimes it has it's drawbacks.
> 
> This has been the worst sping I can remember up here & things are not going too good for me financially.
> 
> ...


You might want to check out a book called "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud. Its a great book and addresses exactly what you are dealing with, family money issues SUCK, they are tricky to deal with and makes Thanksgiving dinner taste like crap. Its really hard with siblings especially when they have kids on their own. You want to cut them off so they learn, but then feel obligated to your grand kids not to, so you end up just giving them the money, which is like giving a drunk a drink, we had the same issue with one of my sisters. That book deals heavily in those sorts of situations.


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## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

ja001son said:


> You might want to check out a book called "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud. Its a great book and addresses exactly what you are dealing with, family money issues SUCK, they are tricky to deal with and makes Thanksgiving dinner taste like crap. Its really hard with siblings especially when they have kids on their own. You want to cut them off so they learn, but then feel obligated to your grand kids not to, *so you end up just giving them the money, which is like giving a drunk a drink, *we had the same issue with one of my sisters. That book deals heavily in those sorts of situations.


I undrestand that completely & as far as being obligated to my grandkids? How can my grandkids benefit from us loosing our home & going broke @ the same time? My fathers generation taught mine that when you make your bed, you lie in it & there comes a time when your parents are no longer obligated to clean up your messes.

Unfortunately, my wife is 15 years younger than I & it seems that she was never taught as far as teaching those values to her children. Indeed it appears that our son hasn't learned them either. I told my wife that we are not doing our son any favors by stepping in to pick up after him. It is time to make the unpleasant decisions & let him learn the hard way. Both of our kids have worked on her need to be loved by them & have manipulated her to work against me for the last 10 years when I tried to teach them responsibility.

As far as "wanting" to cut them off? Things can't continue as they are or they will ultimately be "cut off" when we are on the street.

Perhaps I should see if I can get that book from the library & have my wife read it.(after I do)


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## scottishyard (Jan 13, 2011)

Awesome post. I too find that riding, whether road or mountain, relieves many of my "issues". It is such a great stress reliever, anxiety reducer that Im not sure why I took years off from it. Even a 30 minute loop, every other day, on the local trails helps me tremendously. It gives me a chance to just clear my mind and take away the distractions of daily life.


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

XCSKIBUM said:


> I undrestand that completely & as far as being obligated to my grandkids? How can my grandkids benefit from us loosing our home & going broke @ the same time? My fathers generation taught mine that when you make your bed, you lie in it & there comes a time when your parents are no longer obligated to clean up your messes.
> 
> Unfortunately, my wife is 15 years younger than I & it seems that she was never taught as far as teaching those values to her children. Indeed it appears that our son hasn't learned them either. I told my wife that we are not doing our son any favors by stepping in to pick up after him. It is time to make the unpleasant decisions & let him learn the hard way. Both of our kids have worked on her need to be loved by them & have manipulated her to work against me for the last 10 years when I tried to teach them responsibility.
> 
> ...


One of the things it suggested which worked pretty well with my sis was to set some goals for her as prerequisites to getting any money, in our case it was paying off her credit card debt, basically my folks told her for every dollar she put towards it, they would chip in the same, that way she got some help, and could actually get the damn thing done, but it made here have some skin in the game and thus promoted some good behavior, instead of just giving her the cash and not making her face the problem at all. win/win in that my folks didn't feel guilty and were also not enabling her bad behavior, and my sis got the help in a way that encouraged to save and take care of her money for once.


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## mudforlunch (Aug 9, 2004)

Good for you dude! Riding keeps me sane, period. Main 4 reasons I ride: 1. I get super aggro and grumpy when I don't exercise or play outside for a few days. 2. I would be about 300 lbs. by now if I didn't do it. 3. The only time I feel graceful is on a bike, period. I hurt myself running, walking, knock **** over, break stuff, everything else, but when I'm on to wheels I can control those two wheels as an extension of myself. I've never been able to dance or swim or run well or do anything wih ay sort of grace, but I can clear a rock garden that would send 99.9% of the population to the emergency room with ease at 25-30mph. 4. It's the one thing I do that NEVER get sick of (well, maybe the occasional mid-season XC race blaghs) and I always keep looking forward to.


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## dust3313 (Sep 15, 2010)

I think the only time I am ever truly happy is when I am riding my bike, close to exhaustion, with absolutely nothing on my mind. You name it, I think about it. What my purpose is in life? I am ever going to find someone that I want to devote my life to? Will I be happy and successful in life? what do other people think about me? Is there an afterlife, or is this it, one and done? Basically my head is full of existential questions that don't have and never will have answers. When I am riding my bike I don't think about anything just keeping the pedals turning and keep on riding to nowhere. No anxiety, no panic attacks, no second guessing myself. It's just me, two wheels, a frame, some shiny bits and a whole lot of nothing but ground to cover.


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## hazdxb (Oct 11, 2008)

I don't pedal away depression but my biking started when I still had anger issues, I just used to hammer all that bottled up anger out on my bike. It made me feel good to be doing something other than creating a mess for myself with my anger. Now I just ride bikes because simply, its fun.


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## Clones123 (Apr 29, 2010)

hazdxb said:


> I don't pedal away depression but my biking started when I still had anger issues, I just used to hammer all that bottled up anger out on my bike.


You can sure work out some serious anger and frustration with an axe and a chainsaw while building up your trails too. I can tell you that first-hand!


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

Clones123 said:


> You can sure work out some serious anger and frustration with an axe and a chainsaw while building up your trails too. I can tell you that first-hand!


usually when you put anger and frustration with axe and chainsaw you end up with jail not trail


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## mdrauh (Nov 25, 2010)

Congrats, man. I've been biking regularly since building my first "real" mtb last year and it's done wonders for me both mentally and physically.


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## dacosta (Jul 23, 2010)

Gratz to you!

Similar story here although no one died, just a lot of set backs. 

Turned 35 years old, 5'6" and 215 lbs... bought a road bike little less than 2 years ago, started commuting to work. Rediscovered my love of mountain biking. Lost 70 lbs and now racing Cat 2 this summer. Feel better than I have in a long time.

Keep it up!

Dan


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## Cayenne_Pepa (Dec 18, 2007)

Keep on riding, brother...it really WORKS. I was a hopeless meth addict for 25 years, because I was manic-depressive. I have been totally clean for 5 years now. Riding took me off all meds after three years clean. My serum brain chemicals are finally back on track, after years of forcing it produce excess Dopamine. I even lost the 80lbs I gained in rehab. Riding is my recovery and my excuse to never depend on another man-made drug ever again.


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## wasp (Apr 4, 2011)

You had a tough time there, I'm really sorry for that, but there is a quote I tell myself when things end up depressing and messy:

"Life is not entitled to give you what you want." Somebody told me that when I was in a bad shape, and I added silently "Life is not entitled to give you what you need.".

When I have bad time I start to plan vacations, like I could flee from my feelings. Of course they follow me like my own shadow, but the good thing is - everytime I manage to get some good thoughts, or to forget for some time what was the mess that made me go on vacation.

Cycling just works as well for me. It's just a good feeling to be on a bike and cycle, it's like "moving forward" and "reaching something" you didn't reach before. Something you can control (at least more than interhuman relationships). At the end of a tour you feel like you reached a top of a mountain, that most people don't see and feel.

I am planning a vacation again - of course with my bike - in Denmark. I want to rent a holiday home there, I found a good offer at www.casamundo.co.uk and I hope it makes me forgetting the mess here. I my lunchbreak I am already checking out visitdenmark.com, to find out the tours I want to make.

Good luck with your cycling, I also hope you find some luck in your life again, as I hope for myself.


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## hazdxb (Oct 11, 2008)

ja001son said:


> usually when you put anger and frustration with axe and chainsaw you end up with jail not trail


HAHAHA! well im glad i made the right choice!


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## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

XCSKIBUM said:


> I'm getting very depressed because I can't get out to ride. I love it up here in the Northern Adirondacks, but sometimes it has it's drawbacks.
> 
> This has been the worst sping I can remember up here & things are not going too good for me financially.
> 
> God I hope this weather breaks soon before i do.


Yesterday was pretty nice, light breezes, tempertures in the low 50s & sunny.

When we went to pick up our granddaughter, I had the bike loaded on the back of the car.

I drove all the way to pick her up so I could get to see her a bit. She's always real happy to see "Pappy & Gammy" so it's a lot of fun when she is loaded into her car seat for the ride. About 5 miles along the return leg, I was dropped off @ an intersection where there is a road I always wanted to ride. (the trails are still too soft/sloppy for riding) I thought I remembered a quaint little diner out on a remote crossroads along that route, so since it was about 12:30 & I was hungry, I was hoping that my memory was correct so I could stop there for lunch.

Sure enough, about 4 miles from my starting point, there it was. "Mom's Schoolhouse Diner". What a neat little place it was tucked in next to the local volunteer fire station @ a remote rural village surrounding an intersection. The aroma of fresh baked cinamon rolls, good, simple, reasonably priced food & as I got up to leave, I had an interesting (long) conversation W/"Mom". The place is only about 25 miles from home so I hope to make a return visit on the bikes W/my wife on her next Sunday off.

After a great lunch, I headed out. About 10 miles from the diner, I stopped by my son's place to visit some W/my granddaughter. I finished up a 43 mile ride that took me on some roads I had never riden before. I bought a 24oz can of Labatt Blue Lite beer @ a convienience store & took a break under a bridge on a beautiful (wild) trout stream along the way.

Sure enough, all the thoughts & anxiety about the tight situation we are in were pushed from my mind as I enjoyed one of the best rides I've had. Yes the problems were still there waiting on me when I got home just before dark, but for several hours, it was just me, the bike & a long ride on a beautiful spring day W/some great scenery.

It looks like another great day outside & I have some errands to run in town as soon as the mail gets here in about 2 hours. It's only 10 miles to town so I'll just leave the car in the driveway & pedal it. I'll take a scenic route home & probably get another 40 miles or so in today.


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## desrcr (Feb 8, 2004)

arkon11 said:


> Awesome man. I hate to put a damper on the moment, but I suggest you invest in a helmet. A helmet has saved my sorry skull way to many time


BUZZKILL


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## mesome (May 3, 2009)

This thread is awesome. :thumbsup: 

I started riding 2 years ago to try and shed the extra 50 or so lbs I was lugging around. Since then I've found I need to go ride as much for the emotional boost as I do for the exercise. By the time I'm done my body may be screaming at me to stop but when all is said and done I feel right as rain. Not only have I ditched most of that extra weight but looking back I'm pretty sure I left behind the onset of depression as well. I plan on keeping this a lifelong passion and I think as long as I have my bike and my trails I'll be ok.


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## prsman27 (Aug 16, 2006)

DLd said:


> Just wanted to let you know the effect isn't just in your head.
> 
> http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17846259
> 
> ...


Good stuff! I heard this in many of my psych classes but haven't seen the research papers specifically. Thanks for those. Also, exercise releases Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF) which promotes axonal growth in neurons (aka, your brain grows).


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## LIFECYCLE (Mar 8, 2006)

This is also the story of my life too.If i could not ride i would get very worried.My ocd started when i was about seven years old and it has followed me around all my life.I was in hospital at twentysix with major anxiety and depression and it has shaped my life up until now at fortytwo.I ride over a hundred miles a week and have done for about five or so months ,i used to smoke but realised the connection with anxiety so packed up about seven years ago which has changed my life but the brain never forgets does it?? mountain biking IS my life.Keep your fancy car and your high paid job,I dont want kids and shy away from relationships ,i dont want stress and aggravation in my life ,i have no debts,no mortgage and divorced six yeras ago thanks to paxil,depression money stress and other things that man seems to think he needs these days??.If i die on my bike then i think thats the way it was supposed to be for me.I dont like the world much anymore and maybe i am really a wild animal at heart that doesnt want to be tamed by this stupid world and its greedy selfish ways.Keep those cranks turning forever.


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## PixieChik (Jul 10, 2010)

Nice! Rear view pic please...preferably in cargo shorts...


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

PixieChik said:


> Nice! Rear view pic please...preferably in cargo shorts...


LOL

Next ride I take my camera on, will try to accommodate :thumbsup:


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## Jazzguitarplayer (Nov 26, 2010)

Great thread! as many others have stated getting out and shredding the trails, Is an awesome way to get your mind off the daily struggles.


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## rideintpa (Nov 22, 2010)

I am going thru a divorce right now. Being with her for 12 years and two kids and no matter what I do the ONLY thing that seems to make me feel better is riding. I will start running this week to see how that goes.


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## cbrossman (Mar 23, 2004)

Sounds like many of us are going through similar feelings, even if they are for different reasons. And it is not surprising, given this forum, that we find riding to be the one of the best _medications_.

Keep up the great work everyone. I feel similarly a lot of the time, and I make myself feel even worse because I don't believe I have any reason to be depressed :nono: That is a real rat hole.

I wish I could provide some unique inspiration for everyone, I can't. 
I wish I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel, I don't.
I wish I could tell you that regular riding will solve everything, it doesn't.

All I can say is I'm just too old and stubborn to give up, so I keep trying. I hope everyone else keeps trying.


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## GrannyMSG (Mar 22, 2011)

thanks for sharing your story. I just started riding my self. 3 weeks ago i could barely ride the 10.5 mile and 6.5 mile loop near my house and work, now I am riding them with ease, wanting to go further, and have lost 10 pounds. I am 6'2 220lbs. I also have stopped taking my heartburn medicine i have been perscribed too for the last 8 years! super excited to get out of work in 15 minutes and go riding!


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## taletotell (Mar 3, 2009)

Great story man. I wish I could get out to escape my blues. I love my daughters, but they are too little to ride yet and, while we go for walks, it is more like tending goats than walking.
The wife is finishing school and I'm the stay at home dad 12hrs a day 5 days a week, work on weekends, and a once a week (if I'm lucky) escape to the trails. I'm trying not to get down, but lately everything bad seems worse.
Your story reminds me that things get good again. I'm glad riding is your drug. Don't let it take completely over. It is probably what you need right now, but don't forget to be socially healthy too. Maybe a local riding group could make sure you get some human time.

Keep on rocking the trails and takin pics.


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

This weekend was the first in a while where riding was not the central activity, took a friend of mine and his wife out on the lake for his birthday, had a great time. But today after work, its back on the bike.


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## _oky_ (Mar 12, 2009)

Pedal is a therapy for me. I´m from Spain taht is the country with the highest levels of young disemployment and I am trapped in this situation with tuenty five years old. I´m worried about my situation. The only way to disconnect it´s my bike.


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## taletotell (Mar 3, 2009)

Buena suerte en conseguir trabajo. España parece muy jodido, mas, la gente aprende sobrevivir, no?


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## _oky_ (Mar 12, 2009)

Thanks, I will need luck. People here are suffering lot of economic problems and young people in general (my friends and me as example) are worried. Lots of "closed doors" to get a job :S No much industry, only turism or to becoming a public govern worker but It´s the most difficult period for that, lot of people are trying for few govern offers.

Cycling is my heaven at this time.


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## Harold (Dec 23, 2003)

Great passion thread. More pics?

I've always found exercise to be a great mood enhancer. Not only that, but it even helped me clear allergy fog. That, and riding a bike is just a great feeling no matter how you're riding.


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## RickE24 (Mar 16, 2011)

Great story, sorry to hear about the bad times, but I think we all go through them.Glad that riding your bike makes you feel so much better and takes away the depression and anxiety. I myself like to take photography and can't wait to hit some trails and take pictures. When I was a kid, I would ride my bike for hours, I would dissappear and ride to different places, so that's the reason I am looking forward to purchasing a bike and relieving some stress and depression myself.


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## Puzman (Apr 1, 2004)

rideintpa said:


> I am going thru a divorce right now. Being with her for 12 years and two kids and no matter what I do the ONLY thing that seems to make me feel better is riding. I will start running this week to see how that goes.


Me too. My marriage is ending after six years, a mutual decision but that doesn't make it any easier. No kids with her (my daughter is from a previous marriage), but my financial situation is going to be pretty shaky for awhile. I have been keeping the stress level down, the weight off, and the blues away through riding, running, climbing, my dog, my friends, and beer. Hang in there 'bro.


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## J. Fragera (Apr 16, 2008)

I hate to be one with a cutesy quotation to live by, but I do have one that has stuck with me for a lot of years from George Bernard Shaw...

_This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy._

Needless to say MTB'ing is one of my mighty purposes. It keeps me sane, healthy, and giddy as a child for more. It's good to hear from you and the other riders some encouragement and positivity coming out of some tough situations.

Thanks for your post, man.


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## sebszyszka (Aug 1, 2010)

Wow, what a coincidence that I found this thread.

Mom was diagnosed with bladder cancer in 2007, and after treatment she found out she had breast cancer as well. All is well with her, but six months ago I found out I had testicular cancer.

Yesterday got a new fork for my Privateer. Today I find this thread. I'm gonna make this a damn good summer.

-Seb
http://sebastianszyszka.com


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## Clones123 (Apr 29, 2010)

If you're depressed and feeling anxious, do *NOT* attempt to mount a standard folding tire on a UST rim using only a floor pump. I found out last night that trying this can leave one feeling more depressed and anxious PLUS feeling tired, sweaty and defeated. LOL.


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## Ted_R (Feb 21, 2011)

OP,

What a wonderful post you have given us.

I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Thank You ! 

:thumbsup:


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## Sun Burn (Feb 11, 2007)

Great post man. My story is very similar to yours as well. 

I too caught my significant other with another guy and it led to a divorce, losing my house and my job. I had extremely bad anxiety and depression and the only time I felt good was when I was on my bike because it let me forget everything but the ride.

All of those feelings are gone now but the passion for fitness is still here. It's amazing what a good ride can do for you!


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## mummer43 (Jan 28, 2004)

Nice post. I quit my job a few years ago to go back to school and I sold my bike and all my gear just before I started. It's something I wish I hadn't done because being able to ride would really help with my stress level right now. My field is very stressful and I can't wait til I'm done school and can buy a bike again. Selling toys you already own is stupid.. I learned that the hard way.


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## HTR4EVR (Jun 15, 2007)

*Great story...*



ja001son said:


> I just wanted to share my experience, I drive my friends nutts talking about it so I figured it would get it out here hehehe


I feel the same some times... More ride, no depression...


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## Ridin'Dirty (Jun 4, 2004)

Excellent OP and others! Way to take control of the ride. Hope you enjoy it thoroughly. We are all blessed although it can be easy to miss sometimes. 

My next ride is for you sir.


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## Sharpix (Jun 27, 2009)

Whatever we're talking here, is about MTB taking ourselves to balance. Great topic here!
My story is, i just wanted to took out all the stupidity, booze, girls that didn't fill my spirit, hollowness and such. Then one of my ex girfriends who i'd been for 2 years, showed me what love should be, all care, all transparent, all pure. What a hard experience to learn at that age to recognize we all are looking for love, but sometimes looking for it in places or people that is just wrong.

I broke with her because a business problem with my man and hers, and then started to find my way. Left the "friends" that were only parties, booze and girl players (me included), started my own business on which i've been findind my strenght by pushing stupidly hard every day, and one ****1ng day after being full of all the pressure it makes from doing wrong with me and other people, i just decided to switch. Started running, didn't like it. A friend was into MTB, a full suspension bike was bought, almost new half price, and the first trail was ASTONISHING. I ended up tired, ****ed, screaming for air, but that day was the one that brought me into this day.

MTB every week, swimming twice a week, and enjoying the trails, up and downs, technical sections like a 4 year old starting to have the firsts bike rolls without falling!

But, i've found, exercise is not about biking, its about balance yourself, its to climb the toughest hills while conquering the will to be better, to unfold the hunger to go further, in trails and in life. All this serves to this purpose. The writing of life, a better life.

I like to find people who just want to take away all the sh1t from life to live unchained. Just like going downhill clearing that section you couldn't before.....


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## HTR4EVR (Jun 15, 2007)

Sharpix said:


> I like to find people who just want to take away all the sh1t from life to live unchained. Just like going downhill clearing that section you couldn't before.....


Amen brother...


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## shoryuken (Mar 24, 2008)

ja001son said:


> From Yesterday at Palmetto State Park.:thumbsup:
> 
> EDIT: excuse the absurd look on my face, I had just landed a small jump so thats why.


Fedor?


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## Hopping_Rocks (Aug 23, 2008)

I'm going through the same issues that a lot of you guys are going through. I have have had depression and anxiety at various times in my life since childhood (which I blame on being bullied constantly in school and having great trouble making friends). 

A few weeks ago I found the term "social anxiety disorder" online, and started seeing a new therapist for it last week. When I learned about SAD I was like "holy **** that describes me perfectly". I realized that I gotta make some changes. The ultimate goal is to finally (at age 24) get a girlfriend.

My anxiety is effecting my new job (started there 2 months ago). I get distracted by all of the crap going on in my head and "pretend to work" instead of actually working.

Anyway, biking makes it all of the bad thoughts go away. I can't wait for some new parts to arrive in the mail so I can rebuild my bike and get riding again.


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## Sharpix (Jun 27, 2009)

Hey Hopping_rocks, may i suggest you something?
FInd yourself, WORK ON YOUR SELF STEEM, never put as a ultimate goal to get a girlfriend, that don't depends on you solely.

By building self steem (thinking and feeling yourself positive, having a good self image) will lead to better relationships because of your "clear" mind. You'll feel more calm and decided, without the urgency to 'score', and the people, friends and girls stuff will get better and better.

Don't plan much, but actually DO, freaking DO the things and what you want to be. Love yourself, that;s what you need, thats why you are anxious, you don't feel comfortable with yourself and your mind is just trying to fight your internal stuff. take a NLP Neuro linguistics programming course. Work on your internals, and everything will start to get better as you get better.  (I did that)


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## Cayenne_Pepa (Dec 18, 2007)

Thats right, getting that "inner game" down is critical to defeating Anxiety and Depression. For me, riding gave me the body and mind hardcore drugs couldn't. My relationships with people now are more positive, only because I no longer harbor any worries about what they think of me...it's ALL ABOUT what I think of me!


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## Hopping_Rocks (Aug 23, 2008)

Zachariah said:


> worries about what they think of me...


That's pretty much what social anxiey disorder is basically, it's my biggest problem. I'm pretty happy with myself most of the time (in good shape, own a car, college degree, good job) but the anxiety hurts my ability to have relationships and make friends.


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## Timeless (Mar 23, 2007)

I will say I like reading threads like this. Makes me feel good that I am not the only person who struggles with depression and anxiety.
Now I went on meds to help get mine under control because it was really bad and the anger part of it was getting out hand and that just to the edge off a little. 
After Christmas I started lifting weights with my brother and that help but then got back into biking after being off of it for a year and I will say like you I found it really helps getting back on the bike and I feel better afterward. Maybe a little bruised and cut up but feel better.

Thank you for posting this thread.


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## Crosstown Stew (Aug 16, 2008)

Hopping Rocks I feel you man. I've fought social anxiety, depression, and add since I was in middle school and I'm 29 now. Only release I could ever find that balanced me out through college was sports, D1 Pole Vaulter, and after college I found riding and racing and it's been my release for the last several years. 

Still deal with social anxiety but meeting people you have a common interest in, like cycling, always makes it easier. The way I got better with mine was by trying to talk to complete strangers at first, once a week, then 2-3 times a week, then everyday. Most of the time you'll never see them again anyway and you never know, you could just make someones day. Best of luck man.


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

Zachariah said:


> Thats right, getting that "inner game" down is critical to defeating Anxiety and Depression. For me, riding gave me the body and mind hardcore drugs couldn't. My relationships with people now are more positive, only because I no longer harbor any worries about what they think of me...it's ALL ABOUT what I think of me!


Hell yes! Ive started to learn this as well, having self confidence not only effects Yourself, but it radiates out, and plays a big part of how people perceive You, I guess its human nature, but the "vibe" a person who is self confident gives out is totally different than someone who is unsure and nervous, and people pick up on that and it makes a huge difference how You get received by a group. So just try to enter every room feeling like a fighter jet made of biceps and You will be set!


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## dw22107 (Jan 30, 2008)

*Depression*

Due to current economic conditions the stress less has elevated to extreme. Riding and backcountry snowboarding are cheap and mostly free. These have been my only releases. Racing, social activities and social interaction have been difficult for the past 2 years due to low self esteem enhanced by the current economic situation. Good luck to all of those under similar circumstances.


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## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

dw22107 said:


> Due to current economic conditions the stress less has elevated to extreme. Riding and backcountry snowboarding are cheap and mostly free. These have been my only releases. Racing, social activities and social interaction have been difficult for the past 2 years due to low self esteem enhanced by the current economic situation. Good luck to all of those under similar circumstances.


Man, can I relate to that.

I've been unemployed for nearly 2 years W/2 years of intermitant layoffs before that.

For me it's back country XC skiing in the winter followed by MTBing in the spring/summer/fall.

Last year it was a nearly seamless transition from the skis to the bike. This year? :madman:

The never ending rain is getting to be depressing in itself. 

I also sail my 16' folding kayak sloop rig in the summer. It's cheap & very relaxing.


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## Adam_B. (Apr 7, 2011)

What a great thread. I started riding last spring in an attempt to escape from people and stress. Due to multiple deployments to Iraq I suffer from mild PTSD, anxiety and depression. Treatment for these issues while still in the Army has a certain stigma that comes with it so I stopped seeking help. My condition started to really affect my relationship with my wife and daughter. I bought a mountain bike and started to ride. It helped for about a year. In may 2010 my second daughter was born. From the first day we knew that something was wrong. We took her to the doctor multiple times the first month but they didn't think anything was wrong with her. When she was 1 month old while I was at a training exercise in louisiana my wife took her to the ER. She was flown to a hospital that could treat her. She almost died that night and spent the next month in the hospital. It turns out she has a rare kidney disorder called congenital nephrotic syndrome. Since then my wife and I have spent more time in hospitals than at our own house. All the while I've been battling with the Army because my unit is deployed and these people don't give a **** about what's going on with my family so they are always trying to deploy me on top of treating me like **** like I'm some sort of deployment dodger. I ride as often as I can to balance out all the BS that's going on my life. I love the sport and will always continue to ride as long as my body will let me.


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## Alkan (Apr 27, 2011)

These stories are incredible.

mtbnoobadam, that sucks man. I wish things were just a bit simpler and more personal with bureaucratic things like that. And I hope for the best for your daughter.

ja001son, I'm hoping I have a similar experience with biking that you did. I've not had nearly as much to deal with as you did, but I've had troubles with school (I'm hoping mountain biking will give me the deeper attitude change to turn that around) and I recently realized that I really want to riding on the trails, especially after blasting through a trail by my house. It's a lot of fun flying over obstacles, going fast and flying through nature. Exercise is like an added bonus of it. I hope I get in the same type of shape you got into.


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## idbrian (May 10, 2006)

I bike away anxiety as well. 

My big problem is that i live in the Northeast and haven't found a hobby that i can do after work during the winter months. I can't ride in freezing temps, i don't enjoy it and it mires my thoughts on biking in general. So i avoid it.


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## sacredrides (Apr 11, 2008)

*Thanks for sharing your story!*

Inspiring, and I hope it gets more people out on their mountain bikes more often!


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## _oky_ (Mar 12, 2009)

Oh my good. Spain is getting on for 5.000.000 disemplyment people... The stadistics say that just today.
Very hard times for young people here. Spain is economically and politically a disaster. I´m trying to escape of depression...


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## Big Mo (Dec 17, 2008)

Good for you J!! always get back up buddy!


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## livinlite (Apr 25, 2008)

Hopping_Rocks said:


> That's pretty much what social anxiey disorder is basically, it's my biggest problem. I'm pretty happy with myself most of the time (in good shape, own a car, college degree, good job) but the anxiety hurts my ability to have relationships and make friends.


This: http://aflourishinglife.com/2011/04/you-are-whole/

Excellent thread here. My caution, having been through this, is to use the positive times when things are going well (mentally, socially, physically) to develop the strength and personal understanding to know that beyond all else, you are okay. Everything is as it is. That you enjoy riding, but that you don't have to ride to be okay. If you get free like that, then you will always be okay. You won't be relying on some external event to make you feel alright internally.

Because if you allow yourself to just coast when things are fine and assume life will always be like that...then you won't be ready for the inevitable future when things slip out of your control and a new difficulty comes in. Enjoy the relief that riding gives, but please don't stop there. If you do, riding becomes just another numbing agent...it's a healthy one, but it can play the same role as sex, drugs, eating...it can be that thing that you run to to make yourself feel okay, which can never fully satisfy because its some thing out beyond you, not some thing that knows inside you that everything is already okay.

So two thumbs up on where you've landed. Enjoy it. :thumbsup:

Then take stock and go deeper. Find that calm strength within that knows you are good enough, smart enough, whole and complete, just as you are, just as you've always been. Then you'll be able to enjoy riding just for the act of riding, not because you NEED it for any one reason.





 :: Brenne Brown, the power of vulnerability.

http://drdansiegel.com/home/ :: Dr. Dan Siegle. Neuroscience behind how we create meaning out of experience. I highly recommend his "Neurobiology of We" CD talk if you can get it from your library.

http://moreintelligentlife.com/story/david-foster-wallace-in-his-own-words :: David Foster Wallace's "This is Water". More on how the choice is ours. And bitterly-sweet given that he killed himself in 2008, unable to take his own advice...he never got to the heart of his issues and realized that he was whole and perfect just as he was. Eventually the coping didn't work.


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## otis24 (Apr 1, 2004)

Yup, I love the my life sucked then I found mountain biking threads!
I used to be miserable, smoke a pack of cigarettes a day and drank like a fish. My friend went to pick up his bike from a shop for some work he done on it. I went along for a ride. I was kind of drunk and bought a mountain bike. It was a Giant Yukon, fully ridgid. Within a few months I put a Rock Shox Jett and Welgo Clipless pedals on it. Within a year I'd ridden into the ground and found a Specialized S-Works hard tail frame and put a Judy Fork on it and started Racing. 

Long story short, I still drink (not nearly as much), but I quit smoking and I'm no where near miserable. Mountain biking opened me up to backpacking, rock climbing, mountaineering and a successful career as a chef. I believe that mountain biking enabled me to find balance. Sometimes I go with out riding for a month and it's okay. When I get back on the bike it feels really good. I'm looking forward to riding well into old age.


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## davec113 (May 31, 2006)

I'll have to go back and read the entire thread, but just wanted to make a couple points for the OP.

Stress, anxiety and depression can be caused by either a trauma or genetic brain chemistry. I have issues with both, I have had trauma and am Bipolar II.

Trauma can be worked with, there are psychotherapists that specialize in helping people get over traumatic incidents, and their methods are very effective. Genetic issues are harder to deal with but improvements can be made, Omega-3 fatty acids are a good start.

Either way though, studying philosophy and contemplation help a lot too... learning meditation techniques and understanding how the mind works is key. I think you need to take responsibility for your current condition and empower yourself to change it. Happiness is not a result of external circumstances, it is entirely internal.


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## livinlite (Apr 25, 2008)

davec113 said:


> I'll have to go back and read the entire thread, but just wanted to make a couple points for the OP.
> 
> Stress, anxiety and depression can be caused by either a trauma or genetic brain chemistry. I have issues with both, I have had trauma and am Bipolar II.
> 
> ...


Very well put...and not suprisingly so since you are _the most interesting man in the world_ :thumbsup: Great avatar.


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## Znarf (Nov 12, 2005)

Great stuff!

It is great to hear about people who are positive. But it is even better to hear about people who were in a bad situation and managed to destroy that cage and found a way back to happyness and peace.

Keep it up and enjoy every day.

Really good to share these experiences, for you and also for someone who might read this and take energy and motivation from it!

Greetings and keep on riding
Znarf


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## Sarguy (Sep 25, 2010)

davec113 said:


> Happiness is not a result of external circumstances, it is entirely internal.


Ugh, you mean winning the lottery won't make me happy? Now I'm depressed. :nonod:


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## raganwald (Mar 1, 2011)

Two articles folks might find interesting:

First, from NYT, Hazy Recall as a Signal Foretelling Depression.

Second, my own quasi-review of Martin Seligman's book "Learned Optimism."


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## davec113 (May 31, 2006)

Sarguy said:


> Ugh, you mean winning the lottery won't make me happy? Now I'm depressed. :nonod:


LOL, sorry 

I read a Buddhist quote:

_All suffering without exception comes from wishing for one's own happiness..._


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## rideintpa (Nov 22, 2010)

I am doing my first 5k next month....So yes this and running does a mind good


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## Hopping_Rocks (Aug 23, 2008)

Went for my first ride of the year today, feel great now.


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## BWWpat (Feb 7, 2011)

You cannot conquer anything until you have conquered your self.


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## livinlite (Apr 25, 2008)

BWWpat said:


> You cannot conquer anything until you have conquered your self.


And who is this "you" that would conquer "your" self ??

Oh the eternal paradox of duality 

A little vigorous self-inquiry can clear up quite a bit.

In addition to all the links I referenced above, I recommend:

"Standing as Awareness" by Greg Goode

and

"Opening the Hand of Thought" by Kosho Uchiyama Roshi

and

"That Light that I Am" by JC Amberchele

Note: If you're in a world of hurting, you may need to work through this stuff with a therapist at the same time you are going deeply into the work of peeling away the layers of your understanding of existence. You need to be contemplating this stuff from a relatively stable and equanimous place...and you need to be able to know when it's time to set that stuff down, go for a ride, and bliss out a bit. YMMV...but if you do this work, and put the effort in, chances are you'll come out on the other side with an adjusted reality that leads to a very different way of interacting with the world...where pain still exists...just not so much personally-identified suffering.


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## davec113 (May 31, 2006)

livinlite said:


> This: http://aflourishinglife.com/2011/04/you-are-whole/
> 
> Excellent thread here. My caution, having been through this, is to use the positive times when things are going well (mentally, socially, physically) to develop the strength and personal understanding to know that beyond all else, you are okay. Everything is as it is. That you enjoy riding, but that you don't have to ride to be okay. If you get free like that, then you will always be okay. You won't be relying on some external event to make you feel alright internally.
> 
> ...


Good post and thanks for the links!

Another good book to check out is "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle:

http://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577311523

People make the mistake of identifying with their thoughts and feelings, thinking that is their true self. However, all the thoughts that cause anxiety and depression are a result of perceptions of yourself as an individual... the "ego". Unfortunately, everyone's perceptions of themselves as an individual are flawed, a result of ignorance that comes from not understanding ourselves... our true self is completely separate from the ego. The ego is simply a mental construct, and in many cultures is depicted as a demon that the spiritual "warrior" does battle with. Through habit and years of feeding, the ego is very powerful and obscures our perceptions... like mixing dirt with clean water forms a mud puddle. However, the basic nature of water is clean and clear, and filtering it can turn a mud puddle back into pure water. In the same way, we can recognize our ego, and begin to "filter" it's distorting effects on our perceptions, allowing us to see the world in a more positive way.


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## livinlite (Apr 25, 2008)

davec113 said:


> Good post and thanks for the links!
> 
> Another good book to check out is "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle:
> 
> ...


Great book for putting cracks in the wall of the everyday facade we take to be reality...but if you find your self looking for more and want to go deeper, check out some of those others I linked to below.

Tolle is a great introduction, but many read his stuff and go "okay, so...what now? how do I practice this?" There are others who are a little better at guiding you through the process of reconfiguring the way you relate to the world...but you've gotta develop the interest in even considering another way of relating and Tolle is great at introducing that idea.

Check out some of his talks available at most libraries or on YouTube.


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

UPDATE: Ok so over a year has passed.



Still at it, have been doing lots of kayaking in the summer months, but still hammering away on the bike 4 days or more a week. My Trek 4300 disc is still hanging in there and actually has never had a problem, but I just picked up a Rockhopper 29er so I'm selling the Trek. 

I'm 32 and pretty sure I'm in the best shape of my life. Holding steady at 190#

My father passed away a few months ago, which was very difficult. Knocked me on my heels to be sure. I'm suffering a lot of the same anxiety ive been combating from before. But this time its justified, and I'm not alone, I met an amazing girl who both kayaks and mountain bikes, and is every bit as goofy as I am. She has helped me more than anything, because this time around, I'm not fighting alone. 

Picture from recent Kayaking trip.


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## Sun Burn (Feb 11, 2007)

Really sorry to hear about your dad but good for you for sticking to riding and fitness and not caving in to your anxiety. Congrats on that girl too man. Keep crushing it out there!


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## design-engine (Aug 12, 2012)

my x girlfriend is a psychoanalyst and psychiatrist. They talk you thru your problems and/or proscribe drugs to help one cope. I asked her one day... "have you ever proscribed a bicycle to someone" or a motorcycle? It's so freeken hard to be depressed when you have the wind forcing your smile. She said no. We dont date anymore 

ja001son
Life always gets better doesn't it. I suppose true depression will be when Im too old and feable to keep up with those young whipper snappers on the slopes when Im 90

... but my dad still rides mx and just bought a chest protector because they told him at the MX track that he had to have one to race. he is 79


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## bad mechanic (Jun 21, 2006)

ja001son said:


> ...but I just picked up a Rockhopper 29er so I'm selling the Trek.


Don't sell it! Hold onto it and convert it into a single speed.



ja001son said:


> I met an amazing girl who both kayaks and mountain bikes, and is every bit as goofy as I am.


PICTURES!!!!!


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## gnewcomer (Jul 2, 2011)

ja001son said:


> UPDATE: Ok so over a year has passed.
> 
> Still at it, have been doing lots of kayaking in the summer months, but still hammering away on the bike 4 days or more a week. My Trek 4300 disc is still hanging in there and actually has never had a problem, but I just picked up a Rockhopper 29er so I'm selling the Trek.
> 
> ...


Love to read updates like this. That's awesome Jason. The passing of Parents is is always the hardest but it is comforting to know their with ya in spirit man. (c;

gnewcomer aka OldMtnGoat


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## Phread (Aug 25, 2012)

ja001son said:


> and hopefully eventually loneliness
> 
> I got into biking, mainly for fitness reasons. I was always skinny as a rail as a kid, I could eat anything and it did not matter. as a sophomore in high school I was 6'1" and 140 pounds soaking wet, and what muscle I did have was all in my legs. My junior year I discovered that unlike before, If I worked out I actually would put on muscle. So I started working out, nothing crazy just some push ups and curls and just really basic stuff at home. I never got "huge" but I was very "fit" ... fast forward late twenties ....
> 
> ...


You keep on going my brother biker. I (like you) have found biking of any kind (off-road, on-road) to be great medicine for both the head and body.

Nice that there is an alternative to chemistry to make you feel good!


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## PisgahMtBAdventures (Aug 20, 2012)

Riding a bike truly is wonderful therapy. I took a 10 year break from biking and have gotten into it again and I am having more fun now than I ever did 20 years ago. I am exploring the mental aspect of riding more and that is helping my life in all areas. When I am out on the bike all worries melt away and it is just you, nature and the bike. I am enjoying the social aspect of biking as well, now that I ride weekly with my local bike club. I have made lasting friendships that I truly feel are real and we help keep each other motivated. Keep up the riding and exploring. I shared a few links to my blog that talk about the mental aspect of riding. Feel free to read and share if you like. There are other topics as well. Take care.

Finding Flow in Pisgah | Voice of the Blue Ridge

Breaking Down the Limits | Voice of the Blue Ridge


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

Cough.. my new bike, I needed someone to hold it up for me.. umm, the heels were her idea..

And yea, she rides too, and kayaks, together almost 6 months now.


And the green paint... thats a hotel room, not my house, we stayed in Houston 2 days and hit Memorial park,


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## bad mechanic (Jun 21, 2006)

I salute you sir.


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## rluper (Oct 25, 2011)

good story. I keep my sanity through mountain biking. It is a necessity in my life. ltr!


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## ja001son (Feb 27, 2011)

UPDATE:

Well its been 4 years since my last post.

I've moved, gotten married, bought a house, gone through a few bikes... I had to take a break from biking for a while after suffering a dislocated shoulder and torn meniscus in my knee.


I've been back riding 2 to 3 days a week for a month now, mostly in Cameron Park in Waco, Big Cedar in Dallas and Dana Peak park in Kileen.

My wife also rides, and I've dragged all my friends into it as well as a co-worker.

I have so very much to thank mountain biking for, it really helped me when I needed help the most.


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## bad mechanic (Jun 21, 2006)

It's nice to see you finally got a helmet!

Congratulations on getting married and the house.

Married the same girl who biked/kayaked or different girl?


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## Irongrave (Mar 16, 2012)

This thread needs to stay on the top. Congratulations ja001son.

I have a mantra I tend to live by these days "dirty bike, clean soul" there is something about getting out and riding that take your mind off the worries of the day and just focus on what is on the trail in front of you.


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## Erock503 (Oct 20, 2014)

Congrats man, good to hear life gets better. Lots of interesting info in this thread. Going through a divorce myself right now, and about the only time I feel good these days is after a bike ride.


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## DIRTJUNKIE (Oct 18, 2000)

Congrats. and as said there's some great stories in this thread. We all go through tough times in our lives. It's picking yourself up and dusting yourself then moving forward that counts. If mountain biking is that little motivator that gets you through those tough times, great.


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## Awshucks (Apr 14, 2013)

Interesting to read your story and to see you're local. I ride Dana Peak often. It's very under rated. Glad you got out of the dark places. Stay up!

Sent from my LGLS991 using Tapatalk


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## ...Mark... (Feb 17, 2016)

Awshucks said:


> Interesting to read your story and to see your local. I ride Dana Peak often. It's very under rated. Glad you got out of the dark places. Stay up!
> 
> Sent from my LGLS991 using Tapatalk


I'm guessing his wife is helping him "stay up" in more ways than one. Lol

Awesome story. Whenever I was stressed going back to high school I ran. Now I ride. The physical exertion/exhaustion just seems to help. It also gives you time to either think about your issues or provide you with an escape and not think at all.

There've been a few articles recently about nature therapy. It's real.


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## l'oiseau (May 5, 2015)

My anxiety is MUCH less when I exercise regularly. And it can't be gym exercise, that just isn't the same - I've tried.

Mountain biking is one of the best though... mainly because it's so much fun it doesn't feel like exercise.

Keep at it


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## jcd46 (Jul 25, 2012)

Bikes Rule!  Great story and congratulations.


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## Curveball (Aug 10, 2015)

Oh boy, this thread is the very definition of Passion!

So very cool. Thanks for sharing.


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## cyclelicious (Oct 7, 2008)

Exposure to nature has been shown repeatedly to reduce stress and boost well-being.

The Health Benefits of Trees - The Atlantic

Study Finds That Green Spaces at Schools Boost Cognitive Performance in Kids - The Atlantic

Stay well ja001son


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## Fuzzle (Mar 31, 2015)

A little risk taking such as in MTB or even going to the the extreme such as rock climbing which i've have yet do do is the best solution. It helps one focus on the moment and you forget about your worries because you are focusing on riding that chunky section of single track. Anxiety is like being scared of the lion in the room but there is no lion...get what i mean. I've found many diversions to help. We focus on how bad we feel with depression/anxiety so ruminating and fighting it only make it worse.


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## Picard (Apr 5, 2005)

I have serious depression too. Mtb does help take away my anxiety but it comes back in rainy days when I can't ride 

Sent from my SM-N900W8 using Tapatalk


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## bad mechanic (Jun 21, 2006)

Fuzzle said:


> Anxiety is like being scared of the lion in the room but there is no lion...get what i mean.


For me anxiety is more like being scared of a lion coming into the living room...even though I live in USA suburbia.


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## Picard (Apr 5, 2005)

I have dread feeling of dieing of heart attack 

Sent from my SM-N900W8 using Tapatalk


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## beastmaster (Sep 19, 2012)

While I have a road bike, riding it on the mean streets isn't what anywhere as beneficial to my mental health as riding in the mountains on my MTB. No comparison between riding single track and road at all.

The benefit of exercise is stress management. (of course being really fit is a plus!)

So when I brought my bike into the shop to have the dust seals replaced on the fork (about an hour job), imagine my horror when I went back into my LBS the next morning to discover my fork completely disassembled and in a million pieces! WTF!! My mechanic thought I wanted a complete overhaul and not just the seals replaced. OK, but then they didn't have all the correct tools to do the job. They got them (BTI is located in Santa Fe-and so am I-and that is where one gets all this stuff). But then he couldn't get the compression nob not move with the lockout adjustment when it is changing positions. (Plus he muffed up the crown too) So now the whole fork has to go to BTI to either be repaired or replaced. WTF!

It is a brand new 2016 Rockshox Pike RTC3 (on a brand new '16 Trek Fuel EX 9.9). The maintenance schedule is to replace the dust seals every 50-100 hours and a complete overhaul every 200 hours. I generally send my suspension off every winter for overhauls regardless of hours (I ride way more than 200 hours a year). I have never had a problem doing it this way. I just keep the seals and oil changed regularly.

I don't know when I will be getting the bike back now. F*CK!!!

So back to the point. No exercise means no stress reduction, which means I am going to have to ride that damn road bike on those mean streets! F*CK!!!


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## Yalerider (Feb 14, 2017)

Wow nice story. I am 57 and just started biking a few months ago. Biking and weight loss has helped me a lot and have a lot less anxiety and depression. My wife is happy I found something so Ibthink that is why I just got a second bike


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