# Confession Time: I let my guy carry my bike once



## alaskarider (Aug 31, 2004)

(Actually, make that twice)

Something in Screampint's post below inspired me to confess the fact that, tough as I am (  ), I have twice let my then-BF (now husband) carry my bike for me. And I don't mean something little like handing it up a big rock step--I mean letting him take the bike and carry it after having carried his own and come back to me. 

The first time was trying to connect up an unofficial trail system on the east side of a mountain with an official trail on the west side. After climbing as far as we could on the trails, we ended up hiking the bikes through the woods for more than an hour, and found ourselves needing to traverse a nasty, loose scree slope. I was having trouble staying upright myself (bike shoes are not designed for ankle-breaker scree), much less hoisting my bike, and I was so frustrated that I couldn't do it myself that a tear or two (or three or four...) may have leaked out. He saw my dilemma and came back to help.

The second time was at a steam crossing...well, the first time we had ridden the trail it was a stream crossing. This time, it was a river crossing--probably 50' wide, and mid-thigh deep for me. Again, bike shoes are not designed for crossing wet slippery river rocks. This time, I looked at the river, did some calculations regarding my guy's extra 8" and 50 lbs and the chances of my bike ending up soaked, gaining 5 lbs of water in every conceivable "sealed" component, and handed the bike right over with nary a tear or sniffle. So, I grabbed the camera, got myself across, and snapped a photo of him carrying his bike across for posterity (and future mtbr confessions). At least my friend also had her guy carrying her bike (background).

Anyone else have any non-tough-woman confessions they'd like to make? Anyone?


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## alaskarider (Aug 31, 2004)

I should add--I do feel very lucky that I found a guy who is willing to take his clues from me as to when to help. He's never patronizing about it and he doesn't belittle my abilities, but helps when I ask (or cry!). 

And, I think he does get a bit of an ego boost being my "rescuer" on those rare occasions when it's necessary.


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## Impy (Jan 6, 2004)

I have handed my bike to my guy, or another guy on a couple of occasions that involved scrambling up steep loose surfaces, with death inducing drop offs. I hate heights and it is a challenge for me to cross them even without a bike in tow.

I don't feel bad about that though. What I should be more embarrassed about is asking him to fill up my tires or lube my chain because I am being lazy.


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## connie (Mar 16, 2004)

Impy said:


> I have handed my bike to my guy, or another guy on a couple of occasions that involved scrambling up steep loose surfaces, with death inducing drop offs. I hate heights and it is a challenge for me to cross them even without a bike in tow.
> 
> I don't feel bad about that though. What I should be more embarrassed about is asking him to fill up my tires or lube my chain because I am being lazy.


I've done plenty of "pass the bike" sections through nasty portages. But the guys will often do that too - get one person to the other side and then pass all the bikes across.

And I'm pretty sure there have been occasions where I was injured enough that someone helped me with my bike. They all seem to be a blur for some reason though.... 

My husband also does plenty of bike maintenance. Yesterday I flatted a tubless tire, looked down and had part of the rim dented OUT somehow so that all the air was leaking out. And he took charge of the "manly" job of beating my rim with rocks, small wrenches and other things to try and get it back in place enough to keep air in there... Heh. It's funny too, because while he hates flat tires, he seems to actually like the bike issues that require more "interesting" field solutions. (Well, once we've gotten it figured out anyway. Which often does require some teamwork!)


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## catzilla (Jan 31, 2004)

Last year, we were invited on a ride described as a 3 hour spin that ends with a small road climb.

The 3 hour ride was actually a 9 hour ride, and the small road climb was a 3000 ft. loose gravelly hike-a-bike that lead to a 7 mile fire road climb. 

After pushing my bike up for longer than I could remember, my back, legs, and will had finally given out on me. I couldn't do it any longer. That's when my husband began pushing his bike up, and coming back to help me with mine. I couldn't have done it without him.

A few hours later, after he had re-dislocated his shoulder, ran out of water, and severely bonked, his will and body had given out on him. So, I began pushing my bike up the hill and coming back down to help him with his. He couldn't have done it without me.

Some rides are best done as a team, and some rides are only going to be finished as a team.

P.S. Good topic.

P.P.S. Oh, and I also let the man-stallion open my beers 'cause it's more fun to watch him pop the cap with his ti wedding band than to do it myself.


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## catzilla (Jan 31, 2004)

Oh, he also fills up my camelback nearly every ride. Just because.

Of course, I stock his pack with Ibuprofen and calories.


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## alaskarider (Aug 31, 2004)

catzilla said:


> ...P.S. Good topic....


Thanks! I thought it might be fun. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one.



catzilla said:


> ...P.P.S. Oh, and I also let the man-stallion open my beers 'cause it's more fun to watch him pop the cap with his ti wedding band than to do it myself...


I'll have to suggest his wedding ring next time my H is looking for a bottle opener--I hadn't even thought of that use!


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## alaskarider (Aug 31, 2004)

Impy said:


> ...I hate heights and it is a challenge for me to cross them even without a bike in tow...


I second that sentiment! My H and I once hiked up the Portal Trail in Moab--as in, no bikes at all--and I was afraid to walk the scary spot even with sneakers and without my bike. I'd probably have broken down with my bike shoes on.


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## Impy (Jan 6, 2004)

catzilla said:


> Last year, we were invited on a ride described as a 3 hour spin ...


*".....a three hour tour, a three hour touuuuurrrrr...."*


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## Drewdane (Dec 19, 2003)

catzilla said:


> Last year, we were invited on a ride described as a 3 hour spin that ends with a small road climb.
> 
> The 3 hour ride was actually a 9 hour ride, and the small road climb was a 3000 ft. loose gravelly hike-a-bike that lead to a 7 mile fire road climb.


So where did you end up hiding the bodies after you ripped your hosts from limb to limb for pulling that little stunt?



catzilla said:


> P.P.S. Oh, and I also let the man-stallion open my beers 'cause it's more fun to watch him pop the cap with his ti wedding band than to do it myself.


Ooh! I'm gonna have to try that! It sounds almost as cool as popping the top with my eyeteeth (which 9 out of 10 dentists emphatically do not recommend. The 10th specializes in cosmetic dentistry). Maybe then the woman-chickie will finally start referring to me as her "man-stallion".


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## connie (Mar 16, 2004)

Impy said:


> *".....a three hour tour, a three hour touuuuurrrrr...."*


Don't you love those? My first real moto trail ride was with some friends who described the ride as a "fun little loop". It was actually 60 some miles and involved what I now know is rated as one of the most technical Jeep trails around. Yeah, that took all day.


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## badjenny (Mar 13, 2006)

As much as I like to be tough and doing as much as I can on my own, I kinda like it when my guy is all manly and takes my bike for me or pumps up my tire when I get a flat. Kind of a nice shmoooopy feeling. 

It's give and take. I make sure his camelbak is full, with fresh water not the same water he has been re-filling for god knows how long without so much as rinsing it out. Sometimes it means that I sneak it away and rinse and refill when he isn't looking. I take pride in knowing that I may have saved him from a nasty intestinal outburst. He likes to remind me that he made it how many years without me, eating old chicken and drinking dirty water.... I tell him I am adding years to his life so that I can torture him that much longer.


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## alaskarider (Aug 31, 2004)

badjenny said:


> ... I tell him I am adding years to his life so that I can torture him that much longer.


Ooh, I like that one. I'm going to have to add it to my repertoire.

As long as it doesn't mean I have to clean out his nasty camelbak, that is.


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## deanna (Jan 15, 2004)

Well, I've definitely dated all the wrong guys... Obviously. The closest I've come to having a guy carry mine is during a pass-a-bike session across a creek. 

Walking over the slippery log was difficult enough without a bike, wasn't going to happen WITH a bike. So one person went to the far side, one was in the middle on a semi-stable section and we passed each person's bike across, one by one.


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## Impy (Jan 6, 2004)

badjenny said:


> As much as I like to be tough and doing as much as I can on my own, I kinda like it when my guy is all manly and takes my bike for me or pumps up my tire when I get a flat. Kind of a nice shmoooopy feeling.


I totally agree, guys with tools working on stuff - there is something really cute about them!


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## MtbRN (Jun 8, 2006)

Well.... uh.... I did let the BF put my bike up on the bike rack on top of the Land Cruiser. I don't think I have the upper body strength to lift a bike that high. And he offered. Though I think it was more about keeping the truck from getting scratched... 

Now he has a nice Volvo station wagon, and I can reach just fine (-:


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## screampint (Dec 10, 2001)

*Okay, I didn't mean to...*

make anyone feel less gnarly or burly than I...

I have to admit, that I have received help from the opposite sex when riding. But I think you knew what I meant in the original post.

My biggest help was when I dislocated and broke my elbow, Tony, a close friend of my hubby, went back to get the truck and drove me down the 4x4 road and to the ER. My man-stallion hasn't been around for those type of injuries, but he's helped with two c-sections, I think that's pretty noble for someone who can't stand watching people on tv get immunization shots.

I've also gladly received help from the NoahColorado (his mtbr name), other wise known as SWB (Skinny White Boy), during a group ride with a deep river crossing.

Scene of the elbow crime (however not the same day):










Upstream from the deep stream crossing (different trail, same creek):


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

badjenny said:


> As much as I like to be tough and doing as much as I can on my own, I kinda like it when my guy is all manly and takes my bike for me or pumps up my tire when I get a flat. Kind of a nice shmoooopy feeling.


heh,this reminds of one of my favorite quotes. it's from the collection of short stories by Pam Houston called Cowboys are my Weakness. I can't put my hands on my copy this instant, but it is something along the lines of ..."_I have a college education and should know better but I still love it when he calls me baby..._"


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## alaskarider (Aug 31, 2004)

screampint said:


> ...But I think you knew what I meant in the original post....


Absolutely...or at least I think I did, and I think it was a really good point for discussion. But I still thought this might be a fun spin-off topic.

And, it really is all about attitude. Helping when we want help (and especially when we ask for it, or when we tell them we think they're hot when they wield a tire iron) is completely different than when they assume we need it and talk down to us about it. It's even worse when we begin to believe we can't get by without their help.


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## connie (Mar 16, 2004)

alaskarider said:


> Absolutely...or at least I think I did, and I think it was a really good point for discussion. But I still thought this might be a fun spin-off topic.
> 
> And, it really is all about attitude. Helping when we want help (and especially when we ask for it, or when we tell them we think they're hot when they wield a tire iron) is completely different than when they assume we need it and talk down to us about it. It's even worse when we begin to believe we can't get by without their help.


No I thought the other thread was great too. There's a big difference between that situation and lendng a hand among friends/spouses/etc., or reciprocal assistance, or "hey, if you change that flat tire, I'll go fill the camelbacks."

I've ridden with a guy who wouldn't let his wife change a flat tire because "she'd just mess up the bike and break stuff". We were out on our own one day and she got a flat and didn't want me to change it - she was going to walk miles to where her husband was to go get him so he could fix it because he'd be angry, and I might mess up the bike by fixing the flat. I couldn't convince her that I know how to do that. "He said it's an expensive bike and no one is allowed to do maintenance on it but him". :madman:

If it turns you and your man on to have him be your rescuer, that's great. But making no attempt at self sufficiency (whether it's the man's idea or the woman's idea) is lame.


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## alaskarider (Aug 31, 2004)

connie said:


> ..."He said it's an expensive bike and no one is allowed to do maintenance on it but him"...


Wow. Just wow.

I bet he was fun to get along with in general.


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## EJP (Apr 30, 2007)

*Other people's roof racks....*

I have several male friends/riding buddies. I inevitably struggle with unfamiliar roof racks, and they pretty much end up just putting my bike up for me. I've known my friend David for over four years and I certainly could have learned to operate his rack by now. I just hand him my bike, instead. This summer I rode a lot with my friend Dan and at first, I had him put my bike up because my wrist was injured (and I had really aggravated it trying to wrestle my bike into another guy friend's rack). Now I'm just lazy! Oh, and I like it when they drive to the trailhead. On the other hand, I can fix a flat as well if not better than most of them .

It's all about the team effort.


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## MtbRN (Jun 8, 2006)

connie said:


> I've ridden with a guy who wouldn't let his wife change a flat tire because "she'd just mess up the bike and break stuff". "He said it's an expensive bike and no one is allowed to do maintenance on it but him". :madman:
> 
> If it turns you and your man on to have him be your rescuer, that's great. But making no attempt at self sufficiency (whether it's the man's idea or the woman's idea) is lame.


As has been said before... wow...

So he'd rather take the chance that she might be stranded out on a trail somewhere without the skills to fix her bike, rather than take the time to show her how to fix a flat?


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## connie (Mar 16, 2004)

MtbRN said:


> As has been said before... wow...
> 
> So he'd rather take the chance that she might be stranded out on a trail somewhere without the skills to fix her bike, rather than take the time to show her how to fix a flat?


One of those things where I couldn't understand from his perspective for the reason above, or from her perspective in just going "oh, you're right, I'm too dumb to learn to fix a flat tire." :skep:

Not surprisingly, she's pretty much given up riding. Go figure.


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## Berkeley Mike (Jan 13, 2004)

*An innate ability to assist.*

One of the most remarkable and least appreciated skills people have is the innate ability to assist. This is entirely different than someone's need to help. Lord save me from the person who thrusts themselves into a process and only ends up fouling things up because they really didn't understand what was being done. "But I was only trying to help!" Save me. Or just shoot me now. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions," Samuel Johnson et al.

What this facility requires is a broad understanding of a process to a goal, a sense of an interrupted flow, anticipation, timing, and seamless co-operation in a pre-existing context. There are those of use who have this "naturally," though there is nothing "natural" about it. It requires training over years to learn to dovetail like this to a point that it looks natural.

One of the things that makes this facility useful is knowing when to extend it. Sometimes the best thing to do is just shut up and sit on your hands and let things fail or succeed at whatever pace avails itself. There are occasions in a process where the need for help is apparent, one steps in, applies a thrid hand at the right moment, steps back, and the process continues to flow. There are other times when the same apprehension of need arises but someone wants to do it their way or just "do it myself."

There are other times when someone askes for help but when extended one is told "you don't do it right." And yet others when ones amazing lack of insight into unspoken wishes, desires, or needs begets a withering glare of disappointment.

Helping is not an easy thing.


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## connie (Mar 16, 2004)

Berkeley Mike said:


> One of the most remarkable and least appreciated skills people have is the innate ability to assist. This is entirely different than someone's need to help. Lord save me from the person who thrusts themselves into a process and only ends up fouling things up because they really didn't understand what was being done. "But I was only trying to help!" Save me. Or just shoot me now. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions," Samuel Johnson et al.
> 
> What this facility requires is a broad understanding of a process to a goal, a sense of an interrupted flow, anticipation, timing, and seamless co-operation in a pre-existing context. There are those of use who have this "naturally," though there is nothing "natural" about it. It requires training over years to learn to dovetail like this to a point that it looks natural.
> 
> ...


I absolutely agree. It's not always easy to read. And most of us who love mountain biking have that spirit where we like to struggle through things on our own. We're an independent breed. But you can't do everything on your own, and that helping hand can range from convenient to life-saving to... annoying because you didn't need it and it was a distraction from your effort or an insult to your pride.

When you have a friend and riding buddy who knows you and really understands when to assist and when to leave you alone - it's a precious thing!


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## screampint (Dec 10, 2001)

connie said:


> When you have a friend and riding buddy who knows you and really understands when to assist and when to leave you alone - it's a precious thing!


Ah, yes! And the same problem with a different set of circumstances can create different needs. I'm so grateful that most of the people I ride with can "read" me well enough to know when I "need" (or want) that help and when to just sit and chat while I fix it myself. I try to read them as well, and it seems my circle does well together. When a new member is welcomed there is re-adjustment, but altogether, I think we are too laid back to push too much one way or the other.


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## tradygirl (May 21, 2007)

Riding with the husband is so much different than riding with friends. I'm a lot more likely to wuss out if I'm just with my husband. For instance, I let him talk me into doing the Jackson's Hole/Amasa Back loop a few years back. When we got to the Jackson's Ladder portage, I was a good sport for a while but soon enough I started swearing and whining until eventually he carried my bike for a short section. If anyone else would have been there, there's NO WAY I would have been such a whiner.

The dymanics of a riding group are very interesting. Just changing one or two people can completely affect the way people ride and react to each other.


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## Dwight Moody (Jan 10, 2004)

While my partner can't mountain bike because of her balance problem, she does help out a lot. For example, when I get back from a ride, I declare "Woman, I have returned." upon entering the room. At that point she gently removes my muddy garments and escorts my to the tub, where she bathes me and anoints me with scented oils. Then, while I relax on MTBR, she does basically the same thing for my bike, but the oils don't smell as good.


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## Brodiegrrl (Jan 12, 2004)

I have NO problem letting Lee carry or fix my bike etc. 

no problem. 

I'll even let him open a door for me! Carry the groceries! anything!


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## sparrow (Dec 30, 2003)

My Stoker and I ride off road on a tandem, so being the heavier (well, fat) and allegedly stronger rider (all that fat means I had to grow stronger legs to carry it around), it falls on me to carry the tandem (all 48 pounds of it) when the need arises. No biggie, she pushes, I pull, and we get that sucker around.

We had the occasion to cross the Little Missouri River on the Mah Dah Hey trail one late October. Cold week, low 40s and windy the entire time, overnight lows in the 20s. Day three, we had to portage across waist deep water, over 200 feet wide. No force to it, just a wide, still river. I carried the bike across, then went back for the Stoker. She'd freeze to death with another 2.5 days of riding and camping to go, and in that cold, no need for both of us to be cold and wet. I offered, she accepted. Seems a non issue, but I may be pushy?! The other wives/girlfriends in the trip waded it out. Cold cold day.


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## jeff (Jan 13, 2004)

*She wont even let me open a door for her...*

Let alone help with the bike. Even though I built it and screwed up the ebb set up she went at it with very limited wrench experience and dialed it within 10 minutes. Now that`s hot.
God I love that girl!


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## kmoodymz3 (Feb 8, 2006)

alaskarider said:


> Absolutely...or at least I think I did, and I think it was a really good point for discussion. But I still thought this might be a fun spin-off topic.
> 
> And, it really is all about attitude. Helping when we want help (and especially when we ask for it, or when we tell them we think they're hot when they wield a tire iron) is completely different than when they assume we need it and talk down to us about it. It's even worse when we begin to believe we can't get by without their help.


Ok I have to confess, I'll put my bike onto the stand to do maintenance, and as soon as I ask a "how do I" question my husband takes over. This works great, I know how to do it but he has not figured it out yet

I hope he isn't reading this...


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## ibikergal (Sep 4, 2006)

I have been in situations where I have needed or just wanted help from my SO or from some other guy friend that I was riding with, and I have been in situations where I was there to help out a guy or a gal friend!! Both are all part of the experience of riding with friend and enjoying the sport.  

I really like to be able to help out when I can, I know how to fix a flat and can usually do it quite quickly. There was one time when I came across a young guy that was in need of mechanical assistance. There was another guy there at the time and when the young guy asked if we had tools it appeared I was the one with the tools. He asked for pliers but I didn't have them and I asked what the mater was, his small chain ring had broken and was rubbing on the frame so he could not spin the crank. I told him he could remove the chain ring, which he didn't seem to know how to do so I removed the bolts (he only had 2 out of the 5 holding it on) and then grabbing the chain ring and bending it apart. By this time more of my friends had arrived to watch me help get him back on his way. The young man was very appreciative and it made me feel good to be able to help. :thumbsup:


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## frapgrrrl (Nov 13, 2007)

My hubby always puts the bikes in and out of the truck. I am not sure if I could lift mine or not, I guess it is just his job, my job is making sure we have our helmets, gloves ect. But when i went endo and busted my lip for some strange reason I would not let him walk my bike to the trail head I had to do it myself. He offered to but I refused. All the maintence and stuff like that is also his job. And I don't feel any bit of guilt, I think he enjoys it, or at least it doesn't bother him enough to say anything.


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## SSurlygirl (Mar 4, 2007)

*I let a guy carry my bike during a race...*

Before you scream that I should've been disqualified, I was already in last place and just trying to finish. It was before I concentrated on racing, and this was the one race that I focused on. I was racing on a singlespeed in a gear harder than I had ever ridden before. With about five miles to go, I mentally gave up. I was emotionaly, mentally and physically drained. I stopped at the bottom of a climb that even some of the geared guys were walking up. I must have looked defeated because a guy from the class that had started after us, jumped off his bike, hoisted it over his shoulder, grabbed my bike with his other hand and ran up the hill. I really didn't have much choice but to follow. He handed my bike back, hopped on his and was gone. I never even got to say "thanks."

I went back this year and did the race again. This year I not only climbed that hill, but I did it in a gear that was even harder than before. And I didn't come in last either!


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