# Reason why my bike is better than a man. (snark)



## gabrielle (Jan 2, 2005)

I was going to write one of those list things, you know:

"My bike doesn't get jealous if I demo another bike," "My bike doesn't get irritated with me when I stop to look at the flowers," "My bike's tires stay inflated to the correct PSI for a loooooong time," "My bike understands that having just gotten a Brazilian is a valid reason *not* to ride," etc.

But so far the best one I can come up with is:
My bike doesn't idly spend its time speculating on the sexuality of other bikes.


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## Joe Dirt (Nov 20, 2005)

gabrielle said:


> I was going to write one of those list things, you know:
> 
> "My bike doesn't get jealous if I demo another bike," "My bike doesn't get irritated with me when I stop to look at the flowers," "My bike's tires stay inflated to the correct PSI for a loooooong time," "My bike understands that having just gotten a Brazilian is a valid reason *not* to ride," etc.
> 
> ...


You are the funniest chick here.


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

I can have three of them peacefully share the living room and get to choose which one to ride on any given day.

And the ride lasts as long as *I* want.

Plus, they never, EVER, leave the toilet seat up.


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## Dwight Moody (Jan 10, 2004)

gabrielle said:


> I was going to write one of those list things, you know:
> 
> "My bike doesn't get jealous if I demo another bike," "My bike doesn't get irritated with me when I stop to look at the flowers," "My bike's tires stay inflated to the correct PSI for a loooooong time," "My bike understands that having just gotten a Brazilian is a valid reason *not* to ride," etc.
> 
> ...


I'll take your bike over a man any day. After all, it's harder to part out a man over e-bay.


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## oldbroad (Mar 19, 2004)

When I riding my bike, I never once think about the laundry, the kids or what I have to do the next day.


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

This reminds me: About two weeks ago, went for the first warm-weather ride of the season at one of my favorite trails. As usual, did a ride report afterward, which involved a description of the terrific post-ride buzz. 

Nothing unusual, but one of my bike buddies added, "No wonder she's single, no man could satisfy her like a good ride." Words to that effect.

Scary thing is, it's true. After a great ride, my bike even comes home with me


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## CycleMainiac (Jan 12, 2004)

Yall crack me up  

My bikes don't leave dirty clothes and dirty dishes everywhere.


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## verslowrdr (Mar 22, 2004)

Dwight Moody said:


> After all, it's harder to part out a man over e-bay.


Not that it hasn't been at least partially tried....


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## Neen (Sep 27, 2004)

>Nothing unusual, but one of my bike buddies added, "No wonder she's single, no man >could satisfy her like a good ride." Words to that effect.

>Scary thing is, it's true. After a great ride, my bike even comes home with me 
hahahahaha
My bike never tells me I'm riding it wrong!


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## Lucky (Jan 12, 2004)

*Why bikes are better than men*

I can have six of them and it's legal.

You can swap with friends and no one bats an eye.

Getting rid of one you don't like is much cheaper than a divorce.

You CAN change them.

When they get you knocked up, recovery time is usually *way* less than 9 months.

Kathy :^)


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## bitflogger (Jan 12, 2004)

I love my bikes, but my little men - twin boys just 2 - come before them.


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## gabrielle (Jan 2, 2005)

**high five**

I knew y'all wouldn't disappoint me.

How about:
I never have to tell my bike "You're on my hair...You're still on my hair."


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## notrelatedtoted (Mar 3, 2005)

*yeah, but...*

Your bike does not enjoy sunset walks on the beach or romantic, candlelit dinners.

Chances are, you're bike doesn't really listen to you, either. It's just acting, and quietly staring at your, uh, eyes.

  

I just thought you should know.


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## little b (Jan 7, 2004)

*water out the nose!*



oldbroad said:


> When I riding my bike, I never once think about the laundry, the kids or what I have to do the next day.


This one just made water come out of my nose. messy.


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## Dude (Jan 12, 2004)

*Thought I would help*

*Snarking By The Ladies of the WL:*

1) My bike doesn't get jealous if I demo another bike
2) My bike doesn't get irritated with me when I stop to look at the flowers
3) My bike's tires stay inflated to the correct PSI for a loooooong time
4) My bike understands that having just gotten a Brazilian is a valid reason *not* to ride
5) My bike doesn't idly spend its time speculating on the sexuality of other bikes.
6) I can have three of them peacefully share the living room and get to choose which one to ride on any given day.
7) And the ride lasts as long as *I* want.
8) Plus, they never, EVER, leave the toilet seat up.
9) My bike doesn't mind if I have PMS
10) My bike doesn't wake me up in the middle of the night for a ride.
11) My bike doesn't snore or fart
12) My bike doesn't mind if I cut a ride short because I'm tired
13) My bike is always ready when "I" am
14) My bike doesn't mind if I miss a day of shaving
15) When I riding my bike, I never once think about the laundry, the kids or what I have to do the next day
16) "No wonder she's single, no man could satisfy her like a good ride."
17) Scary thing is, it's true. After a great ride, my bike even comes home with me
18) My bikes don't leave dirty clothes and dirty dishes everywhere
19) After all, it's harder to part out a man over e-bay..Not that it hasn't been at least partially tried....
20) My bike never tells me I'm riding it wrong!
21) I can have six of them and it's legal.
22) You can swap with friends and no one bats an eye.
23) Getting rid of one you don't like is much cheaper than a divorce.
24) You CAN change them.
25) When they get you knocked up, recovery time is usually *way* less than 9 months.
26) I never have to tell my bike "You're on my hair...You're still on my hair
27) I never have to fight with my bike over the remote control either
28) Your bike does not enjoy sunset walks on the beach or romantic, candlelit dinners.
29) Chances are, you're bike doesn't really listen to you, either. It's just acting, and quietly staring at your, uh, eyes.


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## Dwight Moody (Jan 10, 2004)

notrelatedtoted said:


> Chances are, you're bike doesn't really listen to you, either. It's just acting, and quietly staring at your, uh, eyes.


The tricky part is keeping enough of your mind on the words to know when to make polite noises.

Bikes are better than men (or women) because when you're just sitting there thinking about your bike instead of whatever else is going on, the bike doesn't get all pissed off.


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## Fiona (Aug 21, 2005)

Dwight Moody said:


> I'll take your bike over a man any day. After all, it's harder to part out a man over e-bay.


You forgot the inverse. It's easier to upgrade a bike to NEWER, BETTER parts.

How about my bike doesn't get jealous of me caressing other bikes or drooling fondly at the newest designs. My bike doesn't mind if I act unlady-like, actually it encourages this behavior.

Fiona


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

My bike doesn't need to watch Pro Bull Riding on ESPN...


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## gabrielle (Jan 2, 2005)

Neen said:


> My bike never tells me I'm riding it wrong!


HAH!! So right.

gabrielle "a little more to the left, please!"


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

My bikes aren't obsessed with cars or baseball, nor do they spend a fortune on porn collections.

They never get pissed off if I change my mind about wanting to ride.

They never scare my roommate by knocking on the door at 5:30am, totally wasted.

They don't veer off the trail in pursuit of hotter bikes.

They make me a better person in many ways, and I get out of them what I put into them. Hmmm........maybe I *should* marry a bike.


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## dirtdiva (Apr 1, 2006)

When something's wrong with my bike, I can fix it. On the other hand, you can't always fix what's wrong with a man.


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## oldbroad (Mar 19, 2004)

My bike has a sense of humor.
My bike is secure enough in it's bikehood to take some good natured ribbing and not get bent out of shape.


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## Wherebob (Mar 29, 2006)

gabrielle said:


> I was going to write one of those list things, you know:
> 
> "My bike doesn't get jealous if I demo another bike," "My bike doesn't get irritated with me when I stop to look at the flowers," "My bike's tires stay inflated to the correct PSI for a loooooong time," "My bike understands that having just gotten a Brazilian is a valid reason *not* to ride," etc.
> 
> ...


Thats pretty good, gave me a good chuckle!


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## Locool (Feb 25, 2006)

I believe the biker chicks victoriuos, while taking all the podium spots, as well as the top ten. Good work, to say nothing about the creativity.


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## gpsser (Jan 5, 2004)

formica said:


> My bike doesn't need to watch Pro Bull Riding on ESPN...


Ummm.... my wife NEEDS to....


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## gpsser (Jan 5, 2004)

Matilda, my wife and I just about busted up laughing at your user name. When she managed a restraunt a long time ago, the people that worked for her used to call her that.


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## Ogre (Feb 17, 2005)

*Wrong*

I briefly considered posting a counter thread in the Passion Forum (there is no "Men's Lounge"), however now there is no way.

Women are welcome on any ride I'm on. The more the merrier!


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## gabrielle (Jan 2, 2005)

oldbroad said:


> My bike is secure enough in it's bikehood to take some good natured ribbing and not get bent out of shape.


heh...you said "bikehood"...

gabrielle (not really sure *why* that's funny, it just *is*)


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## standard235 (Jul 23, 2005)

Wooowwww...


I got my ass kicked on some XC trail around here trying to find the local DH course when I was fresh and new. Got my ass WHOOPED by a chick on a Surly 1X1 Rigid with Time Atac clipless pedals.


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## pacman (Jan 16, 2004)

0gre said:


> Women are welcome on any ride I'm on. The more the merrier!


I gotta second the motion. Even Xena(?) who enjoys dropping a guy is welcome.  
Just yesterday I was here.


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## aveski2000 (Sep 10, 2004)

My bike doesn't mind when I ride one of the other bikes in the quiver, even if it's the road bike.
BTW, my riding partner all winter, and one of the two women on the team I'm getting together for The 24 Hours of Great Glen has endurance to put me to shame. One problem though, she's always apologizing for being slow, even when she's in front of me.


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## AndrewTO (Mar 30, 2005)

BUWHWHWHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Oh man, I just fell off my chair again. HAHAHAH! GREAT stuff here. So much of it.

When I die I wanna "come back" as a bike so I can make some woman (women, if I were sold?) THAT happy.


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## CycleMainiac (Jan 12, 2004)

AndrewTO said:


> BUWHWHWHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Oh man, I just fell off my chair again. HAHAHAH! GREAT stuff here. So much of it.
> 
> When I die I wanna "come back" as a bike so I can make some woman (women, if I were sold?) THAT happy.


    AndrewTO gets it


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## Fiona (Aug 21, 2005)

Thank you for all the great posts. My husband and I have been throwing ones back in forth for days now. "My bike doesn't mind if I fart in the middle of a ride" and "My bike doesn't mind if I stop for a snack" have been the best so far. This could be the best thread for rainy days ever. 

Fiona


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## Ogre (Feb 17, 2005)

*Umm...*

Yes, I'm guilty of being a guy who likes women. Most of the ones I ride with are excellent riders, are good company, can probably ride your as$ into the ground, and tend to improve the scenery on any ride.


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

CycleMainiac said:



> AndrewTO gets it


somebody bake that man a PIE!


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## gabrielle (Jan 2, 2005)

formica said:


> somebody bake that man a PIE!


(I am soooo hearing that Cartman quote right now.)

Strawberry-rhubarb, comin' right up!

gabrielle


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## AndrewTO (Mar 30, 2005)

gabrielle said:


> (I am soooo hearing that Cartman quote right now.)
> 
> Strawberry-rhubarb, comin' right up!
> 
> gabrielle


Mmmmmm, strawberry-rhubarb. Aarhgrhgrhgrhrghgr.

How'd you know????????? Damn, Gabrielle, you really MUST be a princess. I bow in your presence.


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## Fiona (Aug 21, 2005)

*Better make that two.*



AndrewTO said:


> Mmmmmm, strawberry-rhubarb. Aarhgrhgrhgrhrghgr.
> 
> How'd you know????????? Damn, Gabrielle, you really MUST be a princess. I bow in your presence.


Sounds like he'll be rolling around in the first one. Now that you've got me hungry... I think I'll go bake some cookies now.

Fiona


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## gabrielle (Jan 2, 2005)

Fiona said:


> "My bike doesn't mind if I stop for a snack"


Oh man, this one is sooooo on my list.

gabrielle

(What was that saying..."the perfect guy goes all night and then turns into a pizza"?)


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## gabrielle (Jan 2, 2005)

Fiona said:


> Sounds like he'll be rolling around in the first one.


I'm having this mental image from that movie "American Pie". 

gabrielle


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## gabrielle (Jan 2, 2005)

AndrewTO said:


> Mmmmmm, strawberry-rhubarb. Aarhgrhgrhgrhrghgr.
> 
> How'd you know?????????


It's just fate. This is the first year my rhubarb patch is harvestable. 

gabrielle


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## lucky bunny (Mar 31, 2006)

My bike is the perfect size for me. 
My bike doesn't mind being a little dirty.
My bike is always ready to go.


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## Fiona (Aug 21, 2005)

gabrielle said:


> I'm having this mental image from that movie "American Pie".
> 
> gabrielle


Now you get it!!!

Fiona


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## Trail_Mynx (Mar 6, 2006)

This thread ROCKS!

I have a few more...

My bike doesn't complain about being tired when I want to ride again a few hours later.

The only rack my bike is concerned about is the one on the back of my car.


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

My bike doesn't tell me not to spend money on it.


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## annamagpie (Jun 5, 2009)

wow!! this is funny--so glad this thread was resurected!

my bike lets me go where i want , when i want.
my bike likes to get dirty! (maybe someone said that already)


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## ICAsh (Sep 24, 2009)

double post, whoops.


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## ICAsh (Sep 24, 2009)

My bike doesn't worry I'm not satisfied after a ride even though it's clearly marked as "size small"

....nor does it get a complex about being "smaller than my friends' bikes"



This thread is freaking hilarious


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## Fiona (Aug 21, 2005)

My bike doesn't mind if I ride a new bike with bigger tires. 

Question: What does it mean if you name your bikes and one is def. a female?  

Fiona


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## annamagpie (Jun 5, 2009)

hmmm....my hardtail is female, Artemis, and my full suspension is gender -neutral , Thunder Runner (got me out of a baaaaaaaaad storm, hence the moniker).

I dunno what it means!


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## gabrielle (Jan 2, 2005)

ICAsh said:


> My bike doesn't worry I'm not satisfied after a ride even though it's clearly marked as "size small"


:lol:


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## loveaz (Oct 15, 2009)

My bike doesn't mind when I ride fast and hard, just to get home to have a brewski.

Actually, either does my husband 

I have the best of BOTH worlds!!


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## 1993gsxr907 (Sep 12, 2010)

gabrielle said:


> I was going to write one of those list things, you know:
> 
> "My bike doesn't get jealous if I demo another bike," "My bike doesn't get irritated with me when I stop to look at the flowers," "My bike's tires stay inflated to the correct PSI for a loooooong time," "My bike understands that having just gotten a Brazilian is a valid reason *not* to ride," etc.
> 
> ...


Hope your _BIKE_ will take care of you when you're sick...:nono:


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## stumblemumble (Mar 31, 2006)

I thought this was hilarious. Definitely needs to be revitalized and cross posted into Passion. Apologies for intruding, too funny.


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## miatagal96 (Jul 5, 2005)

Where are you girls finding these bikes???

Mine totally get jealous! The constant bickering I have to put up with about who gets house privileges vs who has to stay in the garage, who just got their chain cleaned, whose handlebars just got stolen for the "new bi$ch bike", who'se the wimp bike who gets to ride chair lifts, etc. The carbon bikes hate the steel and aluminum bikes and vice versa.


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## CycleMainiac (Jan 12, 2004)

miatagal96 said:


> Where are you girls finding these bikes???
> 
> Mine totally get jealous! The constant bickering I have to put up with about who gets house privileges vs who has to stay in the garage, who just got their chain cleaned, whose handlebars just got stolen for the "new bi$ch bike", who'se the wimp bike who gets to ride chair lifts, etc. The carbon bikes hate the steel and aluminum bikes and vice versa.


I bow to thee! A new high! LMAF


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