# Sticky  Community Question: Dad Jokes



## MTBRadmin (Jun 26, 2018)

Hello everyone!

We’ve all heard them. We’ve probably told a few ourselves. That’s right - the infamously corny and usually safe-for-work dad joke.

With Father’s day just around the bend, we thought it would be fittingly corny and fun for us to share our best (and worst) dad jokes with one another.

Whether you have a few somewhat actually funny dad jokes packed away for a special day or you delight in seeing eyes roll when you spout ridiculous witticisms, we’d love to hear them. The more clever or silly, the better.

Oh, and let’s keep it clean. We get some dads (and dad jokes) are less presentable than others. No offense meant to any unkempt dads out there. 

Thank you for being part of this community, for being kind, and for sharing.

~VS Community Management Team


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## Steel-Onions (Sep 3, 2021)

To prove that a dog really is 'mans best friend', lock your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour, go back and open it up, which one is pleased to see you?


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## JKA (Jul 26, 2006)

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two tired.


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## Sparticus (Dec 28, 1999)

Did you hear about the attractive peanut walking along the boulevard? 

She was a salted.


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## Nat (Dec 30, 2003)

I’ve been getting lots of ads for funeral services. That’s about the last thing that I need…


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## Mac_89 (Mar 24, 2021)

I went trick or treating with one of my mates when we were really young. We got back to his house and laid out the spoils on the kitchen table. His Dad comes through and goes "nice haul lads, but I've got a few Twix up my sleeve", proceeds to dump a load of mini Twix bars on the table which were hidden inside his shirt sleeves and then runs out of the kitchen laughing hysterically. Still cracks me up remembering it 😆


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## Nat (Dec 30, 2003)

I like pickles. I like pickles a LOT. They're kind of a big dill.


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## OrangeBeast (May 10, 2020)

Our laser printer at home is named Bob Marley. It just keeps on jammin!


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## 834905 (Mar 8, 2018)

My kid asked me if I could explain a solar eclipse to him. I told him no son.


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## Sparticus (Dec 28, 1999)

SingleSpeedSteven said:


> My kid asked me if I could explain a solar eclipse to him. I told him no son.


Show him this:








=sParty


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## 6thElement (Jul 17, 2006)




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## AKamp (Jan 26, 2004)

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur, a lickalotapus


Oh wait, keep it clean

Why did whinny the Pooh get married? He finally found his honey.


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## dietz31684 (Mar 30, 2010)

You see the cow stampede? It was udder chaos.


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## netaron (12 mo ago)

That's enough. 😁


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## Mike Aswell (Sep 1, 2009)

Did you hear about the Mexican magician....he counted uno, dos, and then disappeared without a tres.


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## Sparticus (Dec 28, 1999)

Mucho groaning over here!!!


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## cvbrewer (Sep 9, 2020)

An neutron enters a bar where an proton is tending bar and orders a beer. 

Neutron: How much do I owe you? 
Proton: For you, no charge.
Neutron: Are you sure?
Proton: I’m positive


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## mack_turtle (Jan 6, 2009)

Can you believe they're still together? After everything that's come between them?

_long delay_

I'm talking about _your buttcheeks_.


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## mostlyeels (Apr 9, 2020)

A man is sitting in his car in the driveway. He puts the gear lever into reverse and says "ahhh, this takes me back!"


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## powdertrax (Oct 10, 2014)

Three blondes walk into a bar and the bartender asked the first woman “what would you like to drink ?”
She says “I‘ll take a BL and he replies what’s a BL, Bud Light dah”.
Then he asked the second woman what she’d like and she replies “ML in which the bartender says Miller Light right ?” And she replies dah. 
Then the bartender asked the third girl what she’d like to drink and she says “I’ll take a 13” a 13 what is that said the bartender ? 7 and 7 dah


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## chazpat (Sep 23, 2006)

Poop jokes aren't my favorite but they're a solid number two.

Karma Café - now serving just deserts

I dreamt that I knighted an electric fish last night. It was sir eel!

I just can't handle automatic doors.

Plastic Surgery Anonymous meeting tonight - hope we don't see any new faces


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## Whiterabbitt (May 16, 2020)

_* licks my pen *

* copies some lines *

* turns the notebook page *_


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## SteveF (Mar 5, 2004)

This was literally my dad's joke-I think he made it up though I wouldn't be surprised if others had thought of it too. He'd look up at the sky with his arms spread in a "WTF" gesture and say "Why me, Lord." Then he'd look down with a scolding finger wag and say in a deep, godly voice, "Because, Duane-you piss me off."


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## AKamp (Jan 26, 2004)

What did Baby Corn say to Momma corn??? Where is Pop Corn?


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## cyclelicious (Oct 7, 2008)




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## bigpedaler (Jan 29, 2007)

So I'm a YouTube thief.....

My wife asked me, "Have you seen the dog bowl?"

I said," I didn't know he could."


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## Marty01 (Oct 2, 2010)

what green and has many legs...
...
...
...
...
its a blade of grass.. i lied about the legs


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## milehi (Nov 2, 1997)

How do you get a fat girl into bed?

Piece of cake.


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## Whiterabbitt (May 16, 2020)

milehi said:


> How do you get a fat girl into bed?
> 
> Piece of cake.


i’m going to snuggle up next to my (slim but self conscience) wife tonight in bed, hold her real close and snug, then whisper that joke and see how long I can hold on.



I bet at least 8 seconds.


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## cmg (Mar 13, 2012)

There are a lot of great inventions out there, but Whiteboards are just remarkable!


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## milehi (Nov 2, 1997)

Whiterabbitt said:


> i’m going to snuggle up next to my (slim but self conscience) wife tonight in bed, hold her real close and snug, then whisper that joke and see how long I can hold on.
> 
> 
> 
> I bet at least 8 seconds.


That was your last post.


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## walkerwalker (Jul 17, 2020)

DAD: Have you ever smelled moth balls? 
KID: Yes. 
DAD: Tell me, how do you get their little legs apart?


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