# Has your bike passion ever ruined your relationship w/ sigificant other?



## jeffgothro (Mar 10, 2007)

It has for me...yep, I chose the bike over the girl. She knew how I was when she got with me - I aint changing!

(side note: this was 12 years ago give or take, I'm currently single and very bike happy) :thumbsup:


----------



## Piston pounder (Apr 8, 2012)

My bike passion is slowly killing my relationship!.


----------



## Glide the Clyde (Nov 12, 2009)

"Ruined" might be a bit strong. Things are most definitely "strained" at times.


----------



## pointerDixie214 (Feb 10, 2009)

Wow. My biggest problem with bikes in my relationship is that every time I get a new bike, she wants one too. Totally worth it to share the hobby with my wife though. Although unfortunately with her work lately I think she may have ridden a dozen times in the last year.


----------



## xenon (Apr 16, 2007)

Marriage is all about tolerance. I tolerate her cat, she tolerates my bikes. Fair, isn't it?


----------



## torque29er (Oct 11, 2011)

For me, the riding keeps our relationship strong. I ride all day and night.
No arguments...


----------



## MTBeing (Jan 11, 2012)

My wife (of 15 years) knows that my riding is a passion and doesn't fight it at all. I told her my mistress is aluminum hardtail and she's cool with it.


----------



## thickfog (Oct 29, 2010)

Strained. Trying to get her to ride with me, even road or rail trail, is always a rough time. :-\


----------



## Eric Z (Sep 28, 2008)

i now consider myself very fortunate. my wife loves bikes. it was usually just to get around here and there but last year she wanted a mtb so she got a xcal and loves it. we have a 5-year old and family bike rides are the best.

there are some younger guys on here (and maybe some older ones) who say there's no way they would get married because of the sacrifices, etc they have to make. i guess it all depends on who you marry.


----------



## velophoric (May 1, 2012)

Mrs. V is very tolerant, but I try to make sure and shorten rides once or twice a month on Saturdays, so I can be around the house to help out, or take us on a hike or to a movie. Seems to balance pretty well; though she definitely complains at times, it's rare.

Marriage may not be all about compromise, but it sure is a necessary ingredient.


----------



## cyclelicious (Oct 7, 2008)

I took up road cycling as a stress release and mental escape while going through a relationship break-up. (My ex had other recreational activities other than cycling) 

After 4 years of road riding I met a mtn biker. Although it was a steep but fast learning curve I learned to mtn bike and dh to spend time together. We got hitched 2 years ago.


----------



## FirefighterMTN (Feb 6, 2012)

Ruin? It makes it better! It helps to eliminate stress and keeps me in shape! Shes a runner and has recently taken an interest so we can "compete" together. In the market to get her a much lighter mtb so she can do adventure races with me!


----------



## Ken in KC (Jan 12, 2004)

No. My wife doesn't ride. But wants me to. There are compromises. But that true in any type of relationship. 

I'm a very lucky guy in that I'm married to my best friend. 


Sent from my rotary phone and compiled with a telegraph machine.


----------



## Flying-Monkey (Apr 15, 2012)

I asked the wife, and she said that she dated a guy in college that named his bike, and would bring it in the shower with him...

I'm wondering what kind of passion he had for the bike.


----------



## FirefighterMTN (Feb 6, 2012)

Ken in KC said:


> No. My wife doesn't ride. But wants me to. There are compromises. But that true in any type of relationship.


Very true.

She trains for a marathon with 20 mile runs and I get to go riding 2-3 times a week!


----------



## PapaBlunt (Apr 9, 2012)

It's never really "ruined" any relationships for me, but there's nothing more annoying than telling her you're going for a ride only to get the eye roll.


----------



## Chopliker (Jan 14, 2012)

I would never say my bike has ruined my relationship with my wife, but my wife on the other hand...


----------



## Flying-Monkey (Apr 15, 2012)

Chopliker, so what you're saying is... Bikes don't ruin marriages, wives ruin marriages.


----------



## mountaindavis (Jun 18, 2010)

The only activity that will ruin a relationship (or marrage) is inactivity. Inactivity with your significant other. It doesn't matter if you pursue biking or any other activity even if it doesn't include your other/spouse--but if you are not including your other/spouse in other activities and paying attention to their needs as well, then you have no business being together. 

Three words of advice from a climber/hiker/biker that has been married for 15 years-- communicate, communicate, communicate. And never blame one of your pursuits for a failed relationship---that is all on you.


----------



## PapaBlunt (Apr 9, 2012)

mountaindavis said:


> And never blame one of your pursuits for a failed relationship---that is all on you.


It takes two to tango, my friend. Sure, we can all make personal changes for the better but I do not believe that the failure of a relationship falls solely on one individual.

I think what people mean by "ruining a relationship" is the inability for some significant others to be receptive to something that doesn't seem fun to them. They don't have to like it, but I have definitely dealt with a few people that don't support my habits - THAT'S the point of this thread.


----------



## Ken in KC (Jan 12, 2004)

mountaindavis said:


> The only activity that will ruin a relationship (or marrage) is inactivity. Inactivity with your significant other. It doesn't matter if you pursue biking or any other activity even if it doesn't include your other/spouse--but if you are not including your other/spouse in other activities and paying attention to their needs as well, then you have no business being together.
> 
> Three words of advice from a climber/hiker/biker that has been married for 15 years-- communicate, communicate, communicate. And never blame one of your pursuits for a failed relationship---that is all on you.


Over arching, blanket statements on an issue as complex as this one are seldom correct. Inactivity is certainly a contributor, but it's not the "only" activity that will ruin a relationship.

Sent from my rotary phone and compiled with a telegraph machine.


----------



## Lenny7 (Sep 1, 2008)

If a bike ruined a relationship, it wasn't much of a relationship to start with.


----------



## Tandem42 (Apr 27, 2012)

One word... "Tandem"


----------



## YOUR HONOR (Jan 30, 2004)

Tandem42 said:


> One word... "Tandem"


Great concept to get the Mrs. or Ms. on the bike. :thumbsup:


----------



## scaryfast (Apr 23, 2004)

I have a symbiotic relationship with my girl. I ride my bike, she rides me


----------



## Flying-Monkey (Apr 15, 2012)

scaryfast said:


> I have a symbiotic relationship with my girl. I ride my bike, she rides me


Mine rides my arse...


----------



## Chopliker (Jan 14, 2012)

Flying-Monkey said:


> Chopliker, so what you're saying is... Bikes don't ruin marriages, wives ruin marriages.


My marriage to my bike!... yes.


----------



## PixieChik (Jul 10, 2010)

It's a bit of an issue with our 27 year marriage. We have two separate problems:

1. I've been gradually getting better and stronger at mtb, and loving it more each year. Now I like to ride faster and farther and on more difficult trails than DH. Sometimes it is like pulling teeth to get him on his bike, though he enjoys it once he's out there.

2. He works long hours and doesn't feel like riding when he gets home, but it bothers him that I'm not home sitting around the house when he's home. I think there is some elemental fear of "losing me" because I am in better shape or spending time with other people, despite my frequent reassurances to the contrary. This problem, to be frank, is annoying and I really don't know how to reassure him that I am in it for the long haul. I wish he had a hobby he was passionate about (other than reading political blogs)!


----------



## jummo (Sep 8, 2005)

My bike doesn't seem jealous of my wife at all.

Although, yesterday when I took my wife out for lunch, the bike did give me that look.

Maybe I'll buy it some new trinket just to be sure.

jummo


----------



## Flying-Monkey (Apr 15, 2012)

jummo said:


> *My bike doesn't seem jealous of my wife at all.*
> 
> Although, yesterday when I took my wife out for lunch, the bike did give me that look.
> 
> ...


My vote for best answer!


----------



## rxer311 (May 20, 2012)

Nope


----------



## charlesinoc (May 17, 2009)

No, but it sure lost my job in 1996 for leaving early to ride my bike.


----------



## Lenny7 (Sep 1, 2008)

Flying-Monkey said:


> Mine rides my arse...


Uh... you are into some weird stuff.


----------



## Flying-Monkey (Apr 15, 2012)

Lenny7 said:


> Uh... you are into some weird stuff.


I didn't even mention the stirrups...


----------



## Cayenne_Pepa (Dec 18, 2007)

In the beginning of my most recent relationship - I made it perfectly clear to her I am a die-hard cyclist. Her response was, "cool....now lets shop for my bike!" Mind you, she just learned to ride a bike a year ago...after fearing the bike for almost 43 years!


----------



## Josie7 (Feb 27, 2012)

Yes.. after a wonderfully epic day of postholing through snow to find the trail, a girlfriend of mine decided we were not a good match, she was cold and miserable, I was having a blast.. guess we just saw things in a different light.. probably the right choice for both of us though..


----------



## notaknob (Apr 6, 2004)

It's best if your SO understands what you do for recreation, regardless of what it is. Even better if they have the same interest. 

But I'm an idiot and ignore my own advice so don't listen to me.


----------



## spn4125 (Mar 25, 2008)

My girlfriend has actually been nagging me to buy a bike, haha. She was in a bad car accident a few months ago and broke her foot badly. The plan is to get bikes to exercise and help strengthen her foot, and I will also trail ride with friends. Its the only thing out of many that she has actually encouraged me to spend my money on. I already have many expensive hobbies which she rolls her eyes at when I spend money on them.


----------



## 53119 (Nov 7, 2008)

i worked in a shop for 12yrs and it was interesting to see your regulars go thru each season. especially the ones new to the sport with money...new bike new girl. usually 3 mos or so after interbike...like clockwork. it would go this way for atleast a couple of years til they found "the one" then sadly that would take about 2 race seasons to end as well.


----------



## cnsaguy (Mar 28, 2005)

CCMTB said:


> My wife (of 15 years) knows that my riding is a passion and doesn't fight it at all. I told her my mistress is aluminum hardtail and she's cool with it.


Lol. That's what my gf calls my bike.


----------



## big terry (Apr 22, 2012)

eternal bachelor because i wont waste time on women that cant acknowledge my hobbies as a necessary part of "me" time. whatever it happens to be, its a part of me, and if she cant come to grips with it, then its not worth having a relationship with her because it will always be a point of conflict instead of a point of understanding, let alone common ground.

however, i must admit that most of my hobbies, up til MTB, were predominantly "guy" things... but I do see a lot of women riding bikes, and that bodes well.


----------



## golfduke (Mar 20, 2007)

PapaBlunt said:


> It's never really "ruined" any relationships for me, but there's nothing more annoying than telling her you're going for a ride only to get the eye roll.


gah, the 'eyeroll'. I get that too. I'd say that my wife doesn't mind that I ride, but she insists on me checking in and being detailed so she can get ahold of me. She's more worried about me than she is upset about the time commitment. I respect that, and certainly do what I can to make things easier for her.

With that said though, I definitely have to get creative with riding time allotments. A wife and a 3 year old requires lots of time, so most of my rides are slammed either right before or after work for an hour here or there, or they have me at the trailhead at 6am on the weekends while the rest of the family is sleeping haha.


----------



## EllsEpiffer (Apr 25, 2012)

I wouldn't say it's ruining it, but I notice how I'm usually the one pushing to go riding. But that's mainly because we always have a lot going on (both bar managers in busy bars, plus he's the owner operator of his own bicycle repair business, AND he's in a band), and usually have our days off together. When we're talking about what we need to get done the next day, my usual question is, "so, where you wanna ride tomorrow?" He sometimes sighs and starts talking, "if we have time" Waaa waa waaaaah!  But I know it pushes his buttons if i say i ride more than him, so I keep saying it to get him to ride. I just have a problem with sitting still, which is funny because he used to be that way, but now he's turning into the opposite. But I know how the late hours can effect a person, so I get it. We pretty much do everything together unless the other one is working, so I'll take what I can get! So far, i think biking has improved our relationship, but turned me into a fiend for it! haha.


----------



## jtmartino (Jul 31, 2008)

pointerDixie214 said:


> Wow. My biggest problem with bikes in my relationship is that every time I get a new bike, she wants one too. Totally worth it to share the hobby with my wife though. Although unfortunately with her work lately I think she may have ridden a dozen times in the last year.


Hell yes! She into beer too? 

I recently bought a bike on craigslist - the guy measured it wrong and it ended up being way too small for me. I bought it anyways. Rather than urge me to re-sell it, my GF said "hey, it'll probably fit me...can we keep it?"

That's love :thumbsup:


----------



## pointerDixie214 (Feb 10, 2009)

jtmartino said:


> Hell yes! She into beer too?
> 
> I recently bought a bike on craigslist - the guy measured it wrong and it ended up being way too small for me. I bought it anyways. Rather than urge me to re-sell it, my GF said "hey, it'll probably fit me...can we keep it?"
> 
> That's love :thumbsup:


Nice!

And yes. Jennifer is my brewing assistance/co-consumer of all beers. 

We were at a work function for me one time and one of the snotty girls I worked with asked Jennifer what kind of wine she likes to drink, while name dropping some brands. Jennifer replied "pretty much any IPA." lol

Also came up later the girls were all talking about where they like to shop. Jennifer said she would kill for a shopping spree at REI and Mr. Goodbike (our old LBS). 

I love my wife. Sounds like your GF is pretty tops too. :thumbsup:


----------



## GPRider08 (Aug 22, 2008)

I will say it's not been an easy point in my relationship, though it has become better. My wife at first found it stupid, mostly because she just doesn't understand the fun in it. After proposing, I decided it was time to get a new bike, and when I went to get one, she went with me. She was thinking about getting a treadmill, but found a bike she liked and we both walked out with one. Her's was the nicer one, of course.
Sadly, that was January of '09, and in February we found out she was pregnant, so she couldn't ride. Her bike was stolen along with mine right before we had our son, and she decided at that point not to replace it. She really has no desire for the offroad stuff. The summer she was pregnant, she greatly disliked me going for rides, but has slowly accepted its about the one fun thing I like to do. Though, she still rolls her eyes when I talk bike and calls me a dumb spandex wearing cyclist. I don't even wear lycra...


----------



## Tails8 (Apr 27, 2010)

When my g/f and I first met she knew that I rode bikes. It's one of those things that I do that she really doesn't understand. Kind of like me not understanding her craft stuff, obsession with purses, shoes, and the like. However we both know we enjoy our individual things in life. Just as long as it doesn't consume us. As much as I'd like to ride every day of the week like I did 10 years ago it's just not feasible if I want to stay in the relationship. Same goes for her if she wants to blow money on those types of items. Heck I even go on rides with her around the neighborhood or down the dirt canal. I don't expect her to jump off mountains with me just as she doesn't expect me to keep up to date on the latest Coach purse accessories.

In another post I mentioned that the g/f have 3 bank accounts. 1 for me, 1 for her, and one for both of us. All the money for the bills goes into the 3rd one. The rest of our money is in our individual accounts for whatever we want. If you're in a relationship it's all about finding a balance. If you can't get to that point there's no need to be in a relationship.. 

Tails


----------



## CajunJamie (Mar 28, 2012)

Biking has improved my relationship. When I first walked into my girlfriend's laundry room, I ran into a Specialized Mountain Bike with a sticker on the front shock that read, "Death Star". Next to it was a road bike. We started riding together a month ago on trails. Damn near every day I ask, "where are we riding today." Her response, "I am so happy you are as passionate about biking as I am."

Cha-ching!


----------



## Shark (Feb 4, 2006)

If it is a healthy relationship, riding a bike & staying in shape should not affect it.

The biggest thing I find is communication, if I want to do a 2 week camp/bike trip, I talk to her about it, make sure there is a specific time that works etc, then all goes well. If there is any complaining about my riding from time to time (not very often), I usually say something like "well, I could sit around drinking beer all day, being lazy, & getting fat, would that be better?"  it's usually followed by "honey, didn't you want to go for a ride today? you should go, it looks nice out!" 

The best thing is riding with your S.O. if you can make it work....I'm hoping my wife is getting back into it again here shortly.


----------



## wahday (Mar 23, 2012)

What a great thread topic! Yes, riding creates some strain in my relationship. But I also have two kids and the bottom line is there just isn't enough time in the day to do everything you want. So if I get to go spend 3-4 hours riding, that can seem a little unfair to her. Still, I have worked hard to stake out this time for myself (and be sure to make sure she also has time). I tell her its cheaper than therapy and just as effective. Or, I can stay home, not ride, and be a real PITA!

Been riding lately with our son, who is 11, and that's been great. But its not really a workout for me, which my wife seems a little baffled by.

Overall, though, she is very tolerant. Now that our kids are getting a little older, we have been looking into taking an overnight bikepacking trip, so that should spice things up a bit! We used to go backpacking a good deal (our honeymoon was in Denali Nat'l Park) but since kids, it has been a lot harder to manage. Soon they'll both be big enough to carry/ride with their gear and we can get out there for some new adventures. We do a lot of camping, but nothing as adventurous as back or bike packing.

The key for me, like *Shark* said, is lining up ride times in advance and making sure it does not conflict with anything else. It can be hard work, but SOOOO worth it!


----------



## chris9888 (Feb 27, 2011)

A smart wife will want you to keep your bike as mistress.


----------



## angelbeez78 (May 6, 2012)

Yes. Its fallen by the wayside. But then i choose the bike. Lol. He complains all the time that i ride 2 much..i ignore him...its all i talk about. Thats fine. Ive let his stuff n passions be, i guess i didn't rate the return. He is 1 of those do as i say, not as i do. Screw that. Jealousy is what it comes down 2. Im sorry but Im not gonna be ur personal barbie doll w/ no voice or life outside of u. Well he didn't like that too much. Fine by me. If not, what is next? What would i b expected 2 give up or comprise in the pointless endeavor of making him happy. My bike and my riding are part of me. It makes me happy. U dont have 2 like it, but you do have 2 accept it and support me. Its give n take. But then maby im a [email protected]#*h. Lol


----------



## Copperhed51 (Feb 3, 2012)

My girlfriend tries to be very understanding and supportive of my habit. Heck, she has watched me race a few times now too. She does complain sometimes that I don't spend enough time with her, but she doesn't really blame it on the bike. We both have busy schedules and live almost a half hour away from each other. But no, so far the bike has not ruined my relationship. She knew what she was getting into before we were together.


----------



## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

Has your relationship w/ sigificant other passion ever ruined your bike passion?

Fixed it for ya


----------



## Tone's (Nov 12, 2011)

Not my bike passion, but my fishing passion and job has.
Im a saltwater lure fishing guide here in oz, and have been for 20 odd years, and going out all hours of the night and day has cost me two 5 year relationships...
but i dont let this fact bog me down, id chose fishing for kings again, and ive been with my latest lady for 4 years now so i guess that time is coming around again soon hahahaha, nothing stops a man with a mad passion............:thumbsup:


----------



## owtdorz (Apr 26, 2012)

Ruined? Never.
My fiance' likes hiking and I cannot due to knee problems.
She bought my bike for me.
The only stipulation is that I keep Sundays open for her so we can ride our tandem cruiser 20-30 miles and get breakfast along the way.
She's GREAT.
She's the same way with my motorcycle, Jeep and camping stuff.


----------



## Mikecito (Jun 2, 2007)

My wife is Jewish and an accountant, so as long I don't spend any money on biking there's no strain at all!


----------



## terrasmak (Jun 14, 2011)

My wife tolerates/understands/supports the things I do. I think she likes me riding cause I'm only gone for a half day on the weekend vs when I'm out of for the weekend with the race car.


----------



## Funrover (Oct 4, 2006)

CCMTB said:


> My wife (of 15 years) knows that my riding is a passion and doesn't fight it at all. I told her my mistress is aluminum hardtail and she's cool with it.


Awesome! My wife is the same way. During summer we ride a fwe times together but it is my passion and she understands, and actually supports. Are there times it causes a few hiccups, sure. But I still get to play often.


----------



## mhecker81 (Apr 26, 2011)

She's coming around
Our three kids have slowed our progression of biking together, but she is starting to do that more now, but she is very understanding that it is bad for my psychological well being to be stagnant and therefore encourages me to go. Last week I got her to try MTB'ng at a park/lake that had a 4 mile, fairly easy singletrack section. She rode while me w/kids then vice versa. We are already planning a camping biking weekend for when the kiddos are with grandma this summer. 
She also loves sampling new, different beers with me.

She is a great woman and setting a good example for our kids, a great mom!!!


----------



## terrasmak (Jun 14, 2011)

mhecker81 said:


> She's coming around
> Our three kids have slowed our progression of biking together, but she is starting to do that more now, but she is very understanding that it is bad for my psychological well being to be stagnant and therefore encourages me to go. Last week I got her to try MTB'ng at a park/lake that had a 4 mile, fairly easy singletrack section. She rode while me w/kids then vice versa. We are already planning a camping biking weekend for when the kiddos are with grandma this summer.
> She also loves sampling new, different beers with me.
> 
> She is a great woman and setting a good example for our kids, a great mom!!!


I can't wait to ride with the kid/kids, it's good my wife is just learning and will stay back a bit. Right now with her knee surgery and a 5 month old, it's solo trips for me. 7 more months and I get the little one a strider for her birthday.


----------



## jummo (Sep 8, 2005)

My bike is still pretty pissed about me taking the wife out for lunch instead of going riding the other day.

So I went ahead and got it some new handlebars.

If that doesn't work, I may try a Ti boltkit.

We all know bikes can't resist carbon fiber or titanium widgets.

There will be peace in the valley for me someday.

jummo


----------



## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

Tone's L'axeman said:


> Not my bike passion, but my fishing passion and job has.
> Im a saltwater lure fishing guide here in oz, and have been for 20 odd years, and going out all hours of the night and day has cost me two 5 year relationships...
> but i dont let this fact bog me down, id chose fishing for kings again, and ive been with my latest lady for 4 years now so i guess that time is coming around again soon hahahaha, nothing stops a man with a mad passion............:thumbsup:


Riding and kingies - Narooma to Bateman's Bay, or Coff's maybe?? Nice combo

And girls that love a stinky fishy dirty guy. Makes me want to move wherever it is.


----------



## Rock (Jan 13, 2004)

Ruined? No. Becoming a harbinger of it's demise? Yes.

Mrs. R #1 found it hard to believe that I could ever find anything I loved doing away from her. She began to find faults with other things. So after 24 years she ended things.

Mrs. R #2 first met me and has only known me as a rider. She knows it's part of me and is happy that I have it. No problems at all (other than $$ every once in a while, but that's different and I completely understand it).

Rock


----------



## 3blackbikes (May 4, 2011)

chris9888 said:


> A smart wife will want you to keep your bike as mistress.


:thumbsup: That's right on the money!

...as for me, being the wife, my husband when we were dating learned real quick that standing around for 2-3 hours at the start/finish line of a race wasn't too fun. I dragged him all over the place before he finally got a bike of his own and started racing with me. Now our weekend trips are alot more enjoyable with us both comparing notes on the course, and stories and critiques of the race itself.

However, the compromise comes when we just ride together. I've been riding/racing for 10 years, and am now racing pro women, while he just upgraded to Cat 2. I have to still learn to bite my tongue and be patient waiting for him on the trails or it will start an argument!! I just hope if I roll my eyes enough he will just let me do my own rides during the week, and he does his thing, and then we're both happy.

P.S. He did draw the line, though, when I tried to ride my mountain bike down the aisle at our wedding. I gave in, but insisted that my mountain bike was displayed at the reception, because it is definitely my "other" true love.


----------

