# Sexually assaulted on the trail



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

I have been sexually assaulted on the trail, by some guy walking his two german shepards. I know the guy and I can't do anything about it. He is a neighbour, and I even know his address.

At the time I was hiking and not riding. We encounter each other headed in the opposite directions. We stopped to chat and he started reaching for my crouch and even succeeded in touching it a few times. This was inspite of my best efforts to shove him away with both hands repeatedly during the conversation.

This occurred while we were talking casually. I couldn't wait for the conversation to end so I could move on and get away from him.

He used his dog's snout to sexually assault me by proxy, so I can't do anything about it. I just have to put up with this disgusting memory, of this man and his disgusting dog thrusting at my private parts, and me having to fight off these disgusting sexual advances executed through a nasty german shepard. 

Meanwhile, I had to pretend to be playing with the dog and pretend to like the disgusting dog, so both dogs would not get violent and attack me. It was like being sexually attacked at knife point. I was assaulted under threat of sharp teeth, instead of sharp steel. I had to play a role of appeasement, when what I really wanted to do was zap the firggin dog and his owner with about a thousand volts. They have no right to touch my private parts.

I feel like carrying a can of pepper spray and spraying the next dog/owner that tries to go for my crouch. 

I cannot believe the nerve of this guy to act casually and pretending to be nice, while he is sexually assaulting me.

old_dude


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## roadiegonebad (Jan 31, 2004)

at least the dog didn't bite you


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## Masher (May 18, 2004)

Start sniffing the dogs crotch, he'll probably think you are nuts and run away.


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## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

How come you didn't deck the guy? Someone reaches for my privates, I don't care who it is, the pope, grampa, who cares, they're getting beaten. I realize violence isn't fashionable maybe where you live in canada, but maybe you should think about standing up for yourself. Other than that, anyone besides me think this post is a total troll?


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## Jm. (Jan 12, 2004)

1st line of defence is to tell the onwer of the pet to call it off
2nd is to hit/kick it in the muzzle(effective for most dogs)
3rd is to pepper spray it

and if it's attacking, just shoot it.


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## ssmike (Jan 21, 2004)

old_dude said:


> I know the guy and I can't do anything about it. He is a neighbour, and I even know his address.


Nevermind.


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## Cooter. (Apr 14, 2004)

did you at least get to lie trailside when it was all done and smoke cigarettes while snuggled in each other's arms on a bed of soft, moistened pine needles, while the dogs gently caressed your faces with their pink tongues?


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## mr_spin (Jan 12, 2004)

old_dude said:


> I couldn't wait for the conversation to end so I could move on and get away from him.


Someone grabs your privates and instead of decking him, screaming, running, etc., you keep up the conversation? Give me a break.


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## direktor (Mar 21, 2004)

Wait. Are you saying that he sexually assaulted you ONLY "by proxy"?

If not, I sincerely hope that you report it to the police and you get the proper response from them.

But if I'm getting the right idea, you're just really upset that his dogs kept sniffing you, and you're exaggerating the situation a little. In that case, this forum is not a proper place for such a complaint.


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

Edited because Oldguy is a whackjob as evidenced by his post below.


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## bykhed (Feb 20, 2004)

*Methinks he is joking*

Mr. Burns: "Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers - if I came up to your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?"

Smithers: "Umm, if you did it, sir?"


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## robotkiller (Jan 20, 2004)

Several thoughts come to mind...

1) This is a weird joke without a punchline.

2)You are gay.

3) You are incredibly weak.

4) You are a 5 year old boy.

5)Any combination of the above.

If this story is true, which I doubt, then he must have had a damn good reason to think he could grab your junk without repercussion.


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## Locoman (Jan 12, 2004)

I think it's all of the above. 

And it's really not a funny thing to joke about. 

The post screems "Look at me, read my post, see what an idiot I am.".


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## browncow3636 (Feb 22, 2004)

*I saw this in a movie with Cameron Diaz*



old_dude said:


> I have been sexually assaulted on the trail, by some guy walking his two german shepards. I know the guy and I can't do anything about it. He is a neighbour, and I even know his address.
> 
> At the time I was hiking and not riding. We encounter each other headed in the opposite directions. We stopped to chat and he started reaching for my crouch and even succeeded in touching it a few times. This was inspite of my best efforts to shove him away with both hands repeatedly during the conversation.
> 
> ...


PSYCHIATRIST
You know...rest areas (and mt. bike trails in Canada) are homosexual
hang-outs.

TED (Old Dude)
Huh?

PSYCHIATRIST
Highway rest areas (and mt bike trails in Canada)--they're the bathhouses
of the nineties for some gay men.

Ted thinks about this, then glances back at the shrink.

TED (Old Dude)
What are you saying?

PSYCHIATRIST
(checking wristwatch)
Oops, time's up. We'll have to delve into
that next week.

Maybe you typed in the wrong URL when you were posting this message. I'm sure there are gay-porn sites that relate directly to mountain biking. I only pray to God that I never see one, because then I would have to quit the sport.....


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## rideit (Jan 22, 2004)

*lack of reading comprehension is a national problem!*

Wow, and some people are even allowed to vote!


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## Raymo853 (Jan 13, 2004)

You need to file a complaint. It is not something you have to do for yourself but for the safety of those in your community. You can not know who else he has done something similar to in the past or will do so in the future. I know it is embarrassing, will wreck any neighbor relationship you have and embarrass the hell out of you. Usually folks like this guy start at one level and ramp up what they are willing to try and the vulnerability of who they go after next.

You are lucky I do not know your real name and that of this person. I would be calling your local police myself with the story as I read it and a link to your story.


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## trogdor (May 23, 2004)

> This occurred while we were talking casually. I couldn't wait for the conversation to end so I could move on and get away from him.


Atleast you waited till the conversation was over till you walked away. Leaving in the middle would have been plain rude.


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## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

OK people - re-read the post please!

'The Guy' didn't touch him!!!!! For those with vocabulary issues, "by proxy" means he did it through someone else. Who? His dogs.

Old Dude is making light of that uncomfortable experience when a dog rams his snout into your crotch - by calling it a "sexual assault".

Funny - not really. But for those of you ready to alert the local authorities, I think your time would be better spent.

GF


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*I think you missed the point*



mward said:


> How come you didn't deck the guy? Someone reaches for my privates, I don't care who it is, the pope, grampa, who cares, they're getting beaten. I realize violence isn't fashionable maybe where you live in canada, but maybe you should think about standing up for yourself. Other than that, anyone besides me think this post is a total troll?


The touching was done by the dog. It was the dog thrusting it's snout repeatedly at my private parts. Since the dog is under the "control" of the owner, I say I am being sexually assaulted by the owner, by way of the dog, by proxy through the dog.

I could see a dog by nature heading in that direction, they like to shove their noses right up in there by nature, but the owner should be quick to restrain the dog or call it off. This owner did neither, I was left to try to fend the dog off by myself while the a$$hole tried to carry on small talk, like he was being friendly. I actually think he was enjoying some sick sense of power, watching my discomfort and my difficulty in dealling with it. Acting friendly was just a ruse to get his sick kicks.

The sex act is often seen as an expression of power, by one individual over another. This guy was basically using his dogs to assert power over me and letting them assault me to get his sense of power, like some sick rapist enjoying the discomfort of his victim, because it makes him feel powerful.

Walking with two german sheppards on the loose is like walking with two handguns and when one of the dogs comes at you, it is like a gun pointed at you. I think the guy is really some sort of sick creep.

You can't punchout a dog owner with two full grown and nasty greman sheppards running free beside him. You would get mauled. You want to be seriously scarred for life because you need the satisfaction of hitting a guy? That would be like taking a bullet so you can punch the guy who is pointing a gun at you.

That is the problem. It is basically armed sexual assault. The dogs are the armaments and are also sexually assaulting the victim, in this case me. The dog owner controls both dogs and so is responsible for the actions of his dogs.

If a man were to grab a woman's crotch or shove his face in there uninvited, insistantly and repeatedly, he would be tossed in jail. Why is it OK for a dog to do that to a person?

I don't think it is. I think it is disgusting and offensive.

old_dude


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## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

Dude, you are looney-tunes. That's what dogs do, they sniff crotches. It's like a baby crying, the parents don't even hear it but if you're not a parent it's like an air raid siren. The guy probably doesn't even realize the dogs sniffing your crotch bother you, he's so used to it. You have a victim's mentality, and so see these events as victimization, when in fact it's probably something innocuous. Remember Occam's Razor. Do not multiply entities beyond necessity.


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## LeeMan (Feb 9, 2004)

*ha ha*

Dude:

You crack me up. 

Have you been traumatized? Are you afraid to uncross your legs around all dogs
now? Did the dog bring back bad memories? (If you are serious and this really
upset you, I apologize, but some how I can't imagine it bothered you that much
if you finished your conversation before leaving.)

I had a friend in College who taught/encouraged his dog to stick its snout in
the croch of strangers -- it was a great way to meet girls! Of course the dog probably
just like to sniff anything, man, women, or dead possum.


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## robotkiller (Jan 20, 2004)

Not that I really care, but in all fairness, the original post made it sound like the "guy" both touched him personally and by proxy...

"We stopped to chat and he started reaching for my crouch and even succeeded in touching it a few times."

In any event, it's an unusual way to say some dog was sniffing his balls. 



gofarther said:


> OK people - re-read the post please!
> 
> 'The Guy' didn't touch him!!!!! For those with vocabulary issues, "by proxy" means he did it through someone else. Who? His dogs.
> 
> ...


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## direktor (Mar 21, 2004)

old_dude said:


> The touching was done by the dog. It was the dog thrusting it's snout repeatedly at my private parts. Since the dog is under the "control" of the owner, I say I am being sexually assaulted by the owner, by way of the dog, by proxy through the dog.


Aha. So I did get it right.

So while it may be annoying and rude of this guy to not control his dogs, I doubt it qualifies as sexual assault.

Beware that many people are not going to see this incident your way.

Even if it was some sort of bizarre situation where any normal person could see that this guy was getting some sort of jollies by watching his dogs sniff other people, you should be smart enough to know that:

1-This is barely the right forum for this

2-Telegraphing the situation accurately over a posting on a message board is going to be extremely difficult.


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## DLine (May 10, 2004)

*I dunno*

what's funnier - the original post or all of the numbskulls taking you seriously. Entertaining to say the least...


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

old_dude said:


> The touching was done by the dog. It was the dog thrusting it's snout repeatedly at my private parts. Since the dog is under the "control" of the owner, I say I am being sexually assaulted by the owner, by way of the dog, by proxy through the dog.
> 
> I could see a dog by nature heading in that direction, they like to shove their noses right up in there by nature, but the owner should be quick to restrain the dog or call it off. This owner did neither, I was left to try to fend the dog off by myself while the a$$hole tried to carry on small talk, like he was being friendly. I actually think he was enjoying some sick sense of power, watching my discomfort and my difficulty in dealling with it. Acting friendly was just a ruse to get his sick kicks.
> 
> ...


Whoa, you are seriously screwed up. Somebody's dogs sniff your crotch and you don't say anything like please ask them not to do this and you call it sexual assault. You needs some serious help. I don't feel sorry for you, but feel sorry for the guy you ran into having to live so nearby you. I would hate to see what you would call it if a dog humped your leg, rape?????!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW, here is a picture of one of those nasty German Shepards that are what you call walking handguns. BTW, I take my shepard almost everywhere, stores, outdoor restraunts and the response is 99%, can I pet your dog, whether it be kids, adults or old people.


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

old_dude said:


> If a man were to grab a woman's crotch or shove his face in there uninvited, insistantly and repeatedly, he would be tossed in jail. Why is it OK for a dog to do that to a person?
> 
> I don't think it is. I think it is disgusting and offensive.
> 
> old_dude


Okay, your right, call the police and tell them you want to have the dogs charged for sexual assault because they sniffed your crotch. I'm sure the police in your city could use a good laugh. BTW, if you can't answer your question about why a person can't do that a dog can, you really need help.


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## Jm. (Jan 12, 2004)

old_dude said:


> You can't punchout a dog owner with two full grown and nasty greman sheppards running free beside him. You would get mauled. You want to be seriously scarred for life because you need the satisfaction of hitting a guy? That would be like taking a bullet so you can punch the guy who is pointing a gun at you.


Yes you can, after you've shot the dogs. If you can't take care of yourself, perhaps you shouldn't be riding out there?


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## jrm (Jan 12, 2004)

*Who is this guy George Michael?*



old_dude said:


> I have been sexually assaulted on the trail, by some guy walking his two german shepards. I know the guy and I can't do anything about it. He is a neighbour, and I even know his address.
> 
> At the time I was hiking and not riding. We encounter each other headed in the opposite directions. We stopped to chat and he started reaching for my crouch and even succeeded in touching it a few times. This was inspite of my best efforts to shove him away with both hands repeatedly during the conversation.
> 
> ...


All ya gotta do is tap the dog on the nose and they wont do that ever again..


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## Jm. (Jan 12, 2004)

jrm said:


> All ya gotta do is tap the dog on the nose and they wont do that ever again..


yep, very effective.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*Oh! So you think it is funny....*



DLine said:


> what's funnier - the original post or all of the numbskulls taking you seriously. Entertaining to say the least...


I realize that many people accept this behavior in dogs. It is such people that I consider to be complete a$$holes. You get that? You who think this is funny or think it is OK because dogs just do that. I think you are an offensive a$$hole. Got it?

I disagree with you completely and want to influence society to deal with people like you and your dogs. I do not think it is acceptable. That is why I deliberately expressed the behavior as a sexual assault by the owner.

People would sacrifice humans to the gods in the past, and that was alright at the time, and socially acceptable. The rightness or wrongness of a behavior is related to the context and how it is viewed.

This behaviour in dogs is unwanted touching of a very personal part of my body. Try viewing the situation that way.

I am not interested in making allowances for your stupid dog. I have no reason to make such allowances. I do not want some dog shoving its snout in my crotch. It is that simple. Keep you friggin dog out of my crotch.

I find this beahvior in dogs extremely offensive, and do not feel that I should have to be subjected to it, because you feel entitled to let your dogs run around and do whatever they please.

Why is it OK for a dog that I do not know or like, to just come up to me and shove it's nose in my crotch repeatedly and insistantly? Why should my only recourse be to either endure this when I don't want it, or to start a fight with a dog and/or its owner, when I risk serious injury?

There is no benefit to me to accept this assault on my private parts. It is not my pet. There is no upside to your dog for me, that makes me want to accept this behavior as a trade off, taking the good with the bad. I am just getting the offensiveness without any benefit or reason to accept it. You may accept it as just part of owning a dog. I do not own a dog and I do not want to own a dog, and I do not accept it.

Someone said, that's just what dog's do.

Why can't I grab a woman's ass or tits without repercussions? By nature, that is what men are inclined to do. Why does it warrant jail and a criminal record?

Why is it OK for a dog to act in such an offensive manner and get away with it?

Maybe if you are a dog owner, or dog lover and you enjoy or accept a dog playing with your dick, then this seems funny.

I don't particularly like dogs, having been bitten by a number of them in my childhood, something I also resent. I have never owned a dog, and do not feel that I should be required to own one, in order to start liking them. I have no reason to like dogs, and every reason to dislike them. I certainly do not enjoy or accept them playing with my dick. Your owning a dog is not my choice, and I not interested in dealing with or dismissing the downside of your dog ownership. Get it?

Someone asked am I traumatized? Am I afraid? Yes, I fear encountering to this a$$hole and his dogs. I am afraid of what these unrestrained dogs will do. I am afraid they will go for my crotch again and I will end up in an altercation trying to fend them off. I am afraid I will get mauled and be scared for life.

I do not feel that I should have to endure that sort of B.S.

I do not think anyone should be allowed to let there dogs shove their noses in other peoples crotches, for any reason, that being their nature or not.

Keep your figgin disgusting dogs out of my crotch! Got it!

old_dude


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## bricklin69 (Apr 26, 2004)

Old D,

Dude, the dogs were only checking out your license plate (sniffing your parts). Dogs do that for some sorta ingrained sociological reason (where they rank in the herd???). Anyway, be the alpha next time and smack 'em on the nose real fast. They will see you are in no mood to be submissive (the victim or whatever). Here's a little poem (author unknown) for you;

The dogs once held a meeting; they came from near and far.
Some of them came by train, and others by trolley car.

But before they got inside the hall and allowed to take a look,
They had to take their rear ends off and hang them on a hook.

Then in the hall they went at once... the Mother, son and sire.
But hardly were they seated when some "mongrel" hollared "FIRE!"

So out the door they ran all in a bunch... they had not time to look...
And each one took a rear-end, at random, from the hook.

They got their rear-ends all mixed up, which made them awful sore.
To think they didn't have the one they'd always had before.

And that's the reason you will see, when you go down the street,
Each dog will stop to swap a smell with every dog they meet.

And that's the reason why a dog will leave a nice fat bone.
To go and smell a rear-end... 'cause he hopes to find his own!


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## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

old_dude said:


> Keep your figgin disgusting dogs out of my crotch! Got it!
> 
> old_dude


Exactly what you should have said to the guy when it was happening - instead of saving your demented little rant for here!

You are obviously quite adept at voicing your opinion. Be man enough to do it when it counts.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

CDMC said:


> Whoa, you are seriously screwed up. Somebody's dogs sniff your crotch and you don't say anything like please ask them not to do this and you call it sexual assault. You needs some serious help. I don't feel sorry for you, but feel sorry for the guy you ran into having to live so nearby you. I would hate to see what you would call it if a dog humped your leg, rape?????!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> BTW, here is a picture of one of those nasty German Shepards that are what you call walking handguns. BTW, I take my shepard almost everywhere, stores, outdoor restraunts and the response is 99%, can I pet your dog, whether it be kids, adults or old people.


See what happens to that 99% postitive response, if your dog starts shoving its snout up everyone's crotches.

Oh sure, the dog appears very harmless in the picture, because it is with loved ones and is playing. See how it turns nasty with a stranger in a confrontation. I am sure you expect it to protect you and your home. It is not going to do that by being friendly and playful.

Here is what your whole country is afraid of, appearing equally harmless.

Osama Bin Laden.

Clearly appearances can be deceiving. I don't suppose that Bin Laden is much of a threat to those he really loves either.

old_dude


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## Baldone (Jan 13, 2004)

*What a strange situation.*

The original post almost sounds like a joke or is it? Then the 2nd post sounds dead serious. On top of that, half the replies don't sound as if they used any mental energy to even read the original posts!

Yeah I'd be pissed in this situation. No you don't attack a full grown man with two full grown shepards, not even verbally! That fun loving dog can act VERY differently when its owner has anger directed at it.

You probably needed to complain while it was happening. But as you probably didn't realize the situation until after I'd still make a complaint to the police, while they probably won't do anything, he might be doing this to other people.

If it was a joke or anyone who replied to it as if it was a joke, this subject isn't funny. (Realizing that the demographics vary).


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*Oh is that so...*



robotkiller said:


> Several thoughts come to mind...
> 
> 1) This is a weird joke without a punchline.
> 
> ...


So,

1) Either you are a joke

2) You are blind

3) You are a pathetic loser who never learned to read

4) You were born without a brain

old_dude


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## Raymo853 (Jan 13, 2004)

I am confused. I thought he, the man, not the dog, first touched you then he, in your opinion, had the dog harass you.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*=So what does your post say...*



Locoman said:


> I think it's all of the above.
> 
> And it's really not a funny thing to joke about.
> 
> The post screems "Look at me, read my post, see what an idiot I am.".


Your post appears to me, to scream. look at me, I am trying to think, but it's not working, maybe if I had a brain.

old_dude


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*Whatever works for you...*



Masher said:


> Start sniffing the dogs crotch, he'll probably think you are nuts and run away.


If it works for you fine. The idea does not appeal to me.

old_dude


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## ecblanks (May 26, 2004)

*whatever dude*

whatever dude


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*It is not innocuous*



mward said:


> Dude, you are looney-tunes. That's what dogs do, they sniff crotches. It's like a baby crying, the parents don't even hear it but if you're not a parent it's like an air raid siren. The guy probably doesn't even realize the dogs sniffing your crotch bother you, he's so used to it. You have a victim's mentality, and so see these events as victimization, when in fact it's probably something innocuous. Remember Occam's Razor. Do not multiply entities beyond necessity.


I guess if you see it that way, you enjoy a dog playing with your dick.

I don't.

I find it offensive.

Frankly, I think you are looney-tunes for thinking it is acceptable,

old_dude


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## Blue Shorts (Jun 1, 2004)

*So...Which is it?*



old_dude said:


> The touching was done by the dog. It was the dog thrusting it's snout repeatedly at my private parts. Since the dog is under the "control" of the owner, I say I am being sexually assaulted by the owner, by way of the dog, by proxy through the dog.
> 
> I could see a dog by nature heading in that direction, they like to shove their noses right up in there by nature, but the owner should be quick to restrain the dog or call it off. This owner did neither, I was left to try to fend the dog off by myself while the a$$hole tried to carry on small talk, like he was being friendly. I actually think he was enjoying some sick sense of power, watching my discomfort and my difficulty in dealling with it. Acting friendly was just a ruse to get his sick kicks.
> 
> ...


So which is it? In your original post you said that the guy reached out and touched you.....a few times!!! See attached quote:

"At the time I was hiking and not riding. We encounter each other headed in the opposite directions. We stopped to chat and he started reaching for my crouch and even succeeded in touching it a few times. This was inspite of my best efforts to shove him away with both hands repeatedly during the conversation."

Now you post that he touched you "by proxy"......with the dogs.

If it's just the dogs and not him, then just say something to the guy and respond appropriately.

If he really did touch you, then it's assult and I'd call the cops. Actually, I'd probably want to punch his lights out. Given the two toothy dogs.......your only recourse would be to call the cops. You could at least let the slimebag know how you feel about it.....while smiling at the dogs.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

LeeMan said:


> Dude:
> 
> You crack me up.
> 
> ...


I did not finish any conversation. I tried to briefly talk to the guy, expecting him to call off his dog. The whole time I am repeatedly pusing it away. Once, I realized the guy wasn't going to do anything, I dropped the conversation and got away from him and his dogs.

I think your friend is an a$$hole.

old_dude


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## robotkiller (Jan 20, 2004)

You clearly enjoyed this "altercation" in a deep dark place -- you are the only one making the act of a dog sniffing your balls an overt sexual advance.

I have to believe you are serious, simply because you are only making yourself look like an incredible freak.

Next time you see the dog, I suggest you offer your dissertation on the sex act as an expression of power. Very compelling


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*I think you really need help...*



CDMC said:


> Okay, your right, call the police and tell them you want to have the dogs charged for sexual assault because they sniffed your crotch. I'm sure the police in your city could use a good laugh. BTW, if you can't answer your question about why a person can't do that a dog can, you really need help.


If you think a dog playing with your dick is OK, I think you really need help.

As far as calling the police and charging the OWNER with sexual assault, I hope to be able to do that one day. I think the owner has a legal obligation to restrain their dogs from sexual touching with humans. If they do not, I think they should be charged.

You may enjoy sex with a dog. I do not.

old_dude


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## DLine (May 10, 2004)

Dude

I can't believe I'm responding to this.

I don't have a dog. I sort of agree with some of the things you are saying. You have a right to NOT have your crotch sniffed, all common sense aside. But, a dog is a dog. To pretend it should have manners and behave as a PC human being in the year 2004 is pretty ignorant. But whatever. Be pissed, be traumatized, and think I'm an a$$hole. 

Go for a bike ride - it's good therapy.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*For that I am grateful, but...*



roadiegonebad said:


> at least the dog didn't bite you


A woman who has been sexually assaulted can also be told, "At least the guy didn't stab you with his knife." That would be equally comforting.

old_dude


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## .WestCoastHucker. (Jan 14, 2004)

i like to punch sniffing dogs in the nose. i've never been sniffed more than once by any dog


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## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

old_dude said:


> If you think a dog playing with your dick is OK, I think you really need help.
> 
> As far as calling the police and charging the OWNER with sexual assault, I hope to be able to do that one day. I think the owner has a legal obligation to restrain their dogs from sexual touching with humans. If they do not, I think they should be charged.
> 
> ...


You are the only person who has made ANY sexual references in this thread - and I'm inclined to think that by carrying on here, we are somehow satisfying your own perversions.

Kill this thread.

GF


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*I am not interested in the nature of dogs...*



bricklin69 said:


> Old D,
> 
> Dude, the dogs were only checking out your license plate (sniffing your parts). Dogs do that for some sorta ingrained sociological reason (where they rank in the herd???). Anyway, be the alpha next time and smack 'em on the nose real fast. They will see you are in no mood to be submissive (the victim or whatever). Here's a little poem (author unknown) for you;


I do not own a dog. I do not want to make allowances for them, if such allowance requires sexual touching.

Simply put, I do not want anyones friggin dog playing with my dick.

Is that so hard to understand?

I don't care what their nature is. Dogs have lots of offensive behaviour by nature and owners need to control them. Shoving their noses in people's crotches is just one offensive behavior. Chasing cars, barking and growling at passing pedestrians, lunging at people's heels, dumping on the carpet, eating the furniture, and so forth are all behaviors that owners try to control in the dogs.

Sticking their snouts in people's crotches is no more acceptable than taking a dump on the living room carpet. Just because they do it by nature does not make it acceptable. Train them to stop, or keep them under control so they can't do it.

old_dude


----------



## DHbiker (Apr 23, 2004)

old_dude said:


> I feel like carrying a can of pepper spray and spraying the next dog/owner that tries to go for my crouch.


I do carry pepper spray, but it is moreso for cyotoes or other crazy people.


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*I can see why American jails are overflowing...*



Jm. said:


> Yes you can, after you've shot the dogs. If you can't take care of yourself, perhaps you shouldn't be riding out there?


So, I expect you will be in jail soon, if that is how you deal with situations. I may find the dog's behavior and the owner's behavior offensive, but I never even considered killing the dogs or punching out the owner. I wouldn't mind pepper spray or a good stun gun, just to end the offense, but I am not going to punchout anyone or kill his dogs.

We have police to deal with such things.

My concern is that, I don't want to go to the police and be laughed at like you lot are doing.

Kill the dogs he says. Why aren't all you dog appologists jumping all over this guy?

old_dude


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## mr_spin (Jan 12, 2004)

I thought you were a complete quack, but now I realize that you just have serious issues with your genitals! It's not that the dogs were nuzzling them, it's that they nuzzled and sniffed your crotch, and now believe they know something no one else does. Now you're scared that the dogs will tell someone what they found out. 

Hmmm. I wonder what could your secret be? You're really a woman? You have a microscopic penis? You have no penis? You have two penises?

You must hunt down those dogs before they reveal your secret to everyone. There's nothing worse than a crotch-sniffing dog who knows your deepest darkest secret. They'll tell everyone, just to piss you off and humiliate you. Quick, there's no time to waste!


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## Jm. (Jan 12, 2004)

old_dude said:


> So, I expect you will be in jail soon, if that is how you deal with situations. I may find the dog's behavior and the owner's behavior offensive, but I never even considered killing the dogs or punching out the owner. I wouldn't mind pepper spray or a good stun gun, just to end the offense, but I am not going to punchout anyone or kill his dogs.
> 
> We have police to deal with such things.
> 
> ...


Hey, wakeup call YOU are the one that said (assumed) that the dogs would be attacking you. Check out the message that you posted that I quoted.

We live in a free country. We don't have police on every street and trail inersection. Yes, you might have to hit/kick a dog in the snout every once and a while. There aren't any police there to keep dogs from hurting/attacking/molseting people.

I wouldn't shoot a dog for licking my genitalia or whatever, sorry. I'd kick it in the snout. If it attacked me, THEN I'd shoot it. Both of those actions would happen AFTER I warned the owner as well.


----------



## TrailRiddler (Feb 23, 2004)

ok... the overt sexualization of this man/dog encounter is seriously disturbing. The way you're choosing your words to color the situation should throw up some red flags to anyone reading. I'd be more worried about keeping kids away from you than the dogs.


Either that or this is just a cry for attention by a ...


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## smelly (Jan 15, 2004)

Cooter. said:


> did you at least get to lie trailside when it was all done and smoke cigarettes while snuggled in each other's arms on a bed of soft, moistened pine needles, while the dogs gently caressed your faces with their pink tongues?


hahahaha. this is stupid. if that GUY had touched your wiener, i'd say kick his ass. his DOG sniffed your crotch. just about every dog i've ever been in close proximity with has smelled my crotch. it's what they do. if you don't like it, tough sh!t


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

old_dude said:


> If you think a dog playing with your dick is OK, I think you really need help.
> 
> As far as calling the police and charging the OWNER with sexual assault, I hope to be able to do that one day. I think the owner has a legal obligation to restrain their dogs from sexual touching with humans. If they do not, I think they should be charged.
> 
> ...


Did I say anything about having a dog playing with my dick? No. I said that you should call the police and tell them a dog sniffed your crotch and you want the dog arrested, the police need a good laugh now and then. You have serious issues. Dogs do not have sexual interests, genital sniffing and humping are dominance and submissive behavior for dogs.

I am guessing that you are unable to comprehend the difference between dogs sniffing a persons crotch and a person doing so because you are not any smarter than a dog. You really need to either 1) stay in your house away from people, or 2) go see a shrink about your obsessive issues with beastiality and other latent sex issues.

As far as your comparing my dog to Osama Bin Laden, you really make it clear how off the wall you are. Why do you have pictures of Osama around? Are you concerned that he is making sexual advances through his videos?


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Blue Shorts said:


> So which is it? In your original post you said that the guy reached out and touched you.....a few times!!! See attached quote:
> 
> "At the time I was hiking and not riding. We encounter each other headed in the opposite directions. We stopped to chat and he started reaching for my crouch and even succeeded in touching it a few times. This was inspite of my best efforts to shove him away with both hands repeatedly during the conversation."
> 
> ...


In my original post I went on to explain that the assault was done by proxy through the dog. Read it again.

I wrote it the way I did, to first raise a sense of indignation, before explaining that it was the dog. I did this deliberately, because I know that many people accept this behaviour in dogs, and I wanted to get people in an emotional state of mind to rethink this position.

I do not accept the attitude that it is OK for dog's to behave this way. It seems that the only way to get dogs out of my crotch, is to get their owners to recognize the offense, since they are the ones who must control their dogs and keep them out of people's crotches in general.

If enough people recognize the offense, then there will be a consensus of opinion where the police will not laugh when you complain about someone allowing their dog to do such things. Then it will be possible to enforce such restraint through legislation and charges.

In all seriousness, at one time you could probably get away with some sorts of sexual touching of women, that now would lead to assault and/or harassment charges.

I do not want to be sexually harassed by a dog. I want to have legal recourse if some owner allows it. To me this is a very reasonable position.

Frankly, I think the idiot who trained his dog to shove its snout up people's crotches and then allowed it, mentioned in another post, should be in jail.

I feel strongly enough about this issue, to respond to all the posts here in kind. Perhaps, if people cannot understand the logic they can at least get a sense of the anger and determination, that they can cause in someone by allowing such behavior in their dogs.

We have smoking laws now, because people were angry and determined to stop an offence that was once acceptable behavior. Non-smokers never liked smoking and quietly suffered it, until enough of them complained and had a political voice. Then complaining about smoking became much more open and frequent. When someone lights up a cigarette now, they are usually mindful that they could get some negative feedback.

I am providing a dump of negative feedback, just like the non-smokers did. I am a non-dog owner. I want people who own dogs to keep them out of my crotch, just like non-smokers want smokers, to keep the smoke out of their noses and lungs.

It is simply offensive and disgusting. I am not a dog, and I do not want to engage in dog behavior with a dog. If you want to own a dog fine, but don't expect me to accept that it is OK for your dog to start playing with my dick any time it feels inclined.

Border guards are the only people who can stick their finger up your a$$ any time they feel like it. They have legal authority. I have to risk that unfortunate circumstance whenever I cross a border.

Dog's have no legal authority to stick their noses in my crotch. I do not have to accept that.

old_dude


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## namaSSte (Dec 19, 2003)

once I tried to sue WTB since they made a saddle that touched my privates when I rode my bike. didn't work out but the thing is that over the years, I've grown to like it. maybe you just need to be more open minded.


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

old_dude said:


> It is simply offensive and disgusting. I am not a dog, and I do not want to engage in dog behavior with a dog. If you want to own a dog fine, but don't expect me to accept that it is OK for your dog to start playing with my dick any time it feels inclined.
> 
> Border guards are the only people who can stick their finger up your a$$ any time they feel like it. They have legal authority. I have to risk that unfortunate circumstance whenever I cross a border.
> 
> ...


You are really sexually disturbed, now you are talking about having a finger stuck up your a$$.


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## Mr. T (Jun 3, 2004)

Listen here sucka! God gave us 2 hands so we could cover our junk when its being sniffed!!!! Listen to the T foo... cover yo junk!!!!!

Dont do drugs & Stay in school... SUCKA!


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

gofarther said:


> You are the only person who has made ANY sexual references in this thread - and I'm inclined to think that by carrying on here, we are somehow satisfying your own perversions.
> 
> Kill this thread.
> 
> GF


If you think it is OK for a dog to play with you dick, then you are the pervert.

old_dude


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## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

*in this instance it is only sexual if the animal is trying to hump your leg ...*

it is your own mind that sees the dog as sexually assaulting you ...
i have three dogs and all i do when they sniff my crotch is push their muzzels away and say no ...

that is how dogs get to know each other , a good owner will have trained them not to do that ...if you want sympathy your not going to get it the only thing sexual about the whole encounter is your perception ...

being too sensitive is just as much a problem as not having control of your dogs in public ...


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*I do not have a picture around....*



CDMC said:


> Did I say anything about having a dog playing with my dick? No. I said that you should call the police and tell them a dog sniffed your crotch and you want the dog arrested, the police need a good laugh now and then. You have serious issues. Dogs do not have sexual interests, genital sniffing and humping are dominance and submissive behavior for dogs.
> 
> I am guessing that you are unable to comprehend the difference between dogs sniffing a persons crotch and a person doing so because you are not any smarter than a dog. You really need to either 1) stay in your house away from people, or 2) go see a shrink about your obsessive issues with beastiality and other latent sex issues.
> 
> As far as your comparing my dog to Osama Bin Laden, you really make it clear how off the wall you are. Why do you have pictures of Osama around? Are you concerned that he is making sexual advances through his videos?


I don't want or think the dog should be arrested, I think the owner should be arrested. That would be you.

I don't care what the dog's motives are. I don't want it playing with my dick. Do you get it?

Let me put it too you straight.

If you let your dog come up to me and shove his nose up my crotch, I think you are a complete a$$hole. I think you should be arrested.

I do not have a picture of Bin Laden laying around, it took one minute to google one and upload it just for you.

You portrayed your dog as harmless by showing some lame picture, which totally fails to capture the dog's potential to do harm or offend.

I showed you another picture, in kind, to demonstrate how unconvincing your picture is.

old_dude


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## Erok (Jan 2, 2003)

old_dude said:


> A woman who has been sexually assaulted can also be told, "At least the guy didn't stab you with his knife." That would be equally comforting.
> 
> old_dude


Oh come on! You can't possibly be so ignorant as to compare your experience with a dog doing what comes natural to it, to a woman being sexually assaulted!!!??? You have serious issues dude!!!


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## Mr. T (Jun 3, 2004)

SICK OF YO JIBBA JABBA! If you cant protect your 
own junk from some slobberin-a$$-mutt then its 
you who gots tha problem SUCKA-CHUMP-A$$ FOO!

Stay in school!


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

old_dude said:


> I don't want or think the dog should be arrested, I think the owner should be arrested. That would be you.
> 
> I don't care what the dog's motives are. I don't want it playing with my dick. Do you get it?
> 
> old_dude


Now I should be arrested? Last I checked I don't own the two dogs in question and don't live in eastern Canada near you (thank God). As far as a dog playing with your dick, it really sounds like you have a sexual problem. Personally, I have never had a dog play with my dick, but I am not into sex with animals like you. Does your wife know about your fetish with dogs playing with your dick?

Old Wacko's world- Dog sniffing crotch= dog playing with dick= sexual assault.

Next week Old Wacko will be posting how his neighbor sexually assaulted him because he looked at Old Wacko's crotch.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Jm. said:


> Hey, wakeup call YOU are the one that said (assumed) that the dogs would be attacking you. Check out the message that you posted that I quoted.
> 
> We live in a free country. We don't have police on every street and trail inersection. Yes, you might have to hit/kick a dog in the snout every once and a while. There aren't any police there to keep dogs from hurting/attacking/molseting people.
> 
> I wouldn't shoot a dog for licking my genitalia or whatever, sorry. I'd kick it in the snout. If it attacked me, THEN I'd shoot it. Both of those actions would happen AFTER I warned the owner as well.


Nice font. Cool. Really big.

However, I do not travel with a gun, and I do not believe that most people do. I do not even own a gun. This does not seem a viable course of action for me or for most people on the trail.

I would have to go somewhere and acquire a gun and then come back and shoot the dogs at the owner's home, after the fact. This does not fit into your scenario, of defending myself on the spot with a gun. The shooting option becomes an act of revenge, instead of an act of self defense.

Perhaps, you take a gun with you everywhere and think everyone does?

The only defense I have is my bare hands and whatever I can lay my hands on around me. This is a poor defense against too german sheppards. Just one is capable of bringing down a hardened criminal tough guy. That is why they use them for police dogs.

I personally think that if you tried to kick the dog, you would end up mauled by both of them, at least you would with these particular dogs. They are kept outside in a kennel and are not cute house pets.

I am glad to hear you would not kill a dog so readily. You could probably get away with punching the owner under the circumstances.

old_dude


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## Blue Shorts (Jun 1, 2004)

old_dude said:


> In my original post I went on to explain that the assault was done by proxy through the dog. Read it again.
> 
> I wrote it the way I did, to first raise a sense of indignation, before explaining that it was the dog. I did this deliberately, because I know that many people accept this behaviour in dogs, and I wanted to get people in an emotional state of mind to rethink this position.
> 
> old_dude


YOu specifically said (typed) that the guy reached out and touched you. I don't care what you said later in the text........You lied to make us feel indignant.

I now feel indignant. Are you happy? Only I feel that way towards you for lying.

How the heck are we supposed to believe the "by proxy" comment when you lied earlier in the text? I really don't appreciate being lied to.....even if it was to make a point.

Nobody (OK...most people) don't want a dog to poke their noses in their crotches, but there are laws to handle that.

So you lied to us to make a point about how egregious the dogs and owner were? You want to elicit opinions from us by first lying to us to get us mad......then telling us the truth. It doesn't work that way. I don't know about everybody else here, but I am pissed.....at you.

What a farkin waste of time. Just tell the story and let people form their own opinions. Sheesh.


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## trogdor (May 23, 2004)

I like how old_dude NOW in an online form is telling everyone how angry/hurt/voilated he is. But when the incident occurred he didn't have the balls  to tell the owner of the dog to control him. 

Quite projecting your anger on to this forum. If you didn't speak up and tell the owner to control his dog, take some form of action like walking away, you have no one to blame but yourself.


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## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

*Bwaahhaaaahaaahaaahaaa*

love the drama queen pic ...
and you should listen to mister t man, cover you junk ... 

its a coping skill you learn when you hang out with dogs ....

i still remember my old roommate used to instist in walking around the house in his speedos and squated in front of the tv to change the chanel and farted ...well my dog was right behind him and of course what does a dog do when you fart ...oooo what is it ...sticks his nose right in the hole ...  ....the look on my roommates face was HILARIOUS ...he didn't accuse my dog of harrasment he just started wearing pants more ....


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

bykhed said:


> Mr. Burns: "Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers - if I came up to your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?"
> 
> Smithers: "Umm, if you did it, sir?"


That does not mean that dog owners have to be idiots.

If you can train your dog to crap outside, and you can train it for umpteen other behaviors, you can train it to keep it's nose out of my crotch. I don't care if it smells other dogs. A dog needs to recognize that people are not dogs and needs to show some respect. If it can't it should be restrained.

old_dude


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## ChiTown (Mar 8, 2004)

old_dude - get a life. If you don't want to be molested/assualted by dogs, stay away from them altogether. Trying to train a dog not sniff your crotch or another dog's for that matter is like trying to teach a male dog not to lift his leg when he takes a piss. 

Again, if you're so turned off by it, avoid the animal at costs.


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## Shannon-UT (Mar 26, 2004)

old_dude said:


> I have been sexually assaulted on the trail, by some guy walking his two german shepards. I know the guy and I can't do anything about it. He is a neighbour, and I even know his address.
> 
> At the time I was hiking and not riding. We encounter each other headed in the opposite directions. We stopped to chat and he started reaching for my crouch and even succeeded in touching it a few times. This was inspite of my best efforts to shove him away with both hands repeatedly during the conversation.
> 
> ...


I agree the owner should not have allowed his dog to sniff you or say hello to you like that. I am a dog owner and I am training my puppy not to do those annoying things. Dog training is not an exact science, however. Maybe this dog didn't receive any training. Yes, it is a dog's way of saying hello, but the owner should have restrained his dogs.

My question is why did you not say, "Dude, can you hold your dog please?" You would not have been out of line, nor would the dogs have attacked you, since you seemed you were scared of an impending attack. Just say it calmly, not yelling or arms flailing or anything. Instead the owner probably had no idea that it was bothering you since you didn't voice yourself. Sounds like the owner was stupid too for not realizing what was going on either. But you have a voice, use it!

Or you could have cut the conversation short and said you are late for an appt. You could have done ANYTHING but sit there and edure what you call "sexual assault by proxy." Do you think he teaches his dog at home to go for men's dicks, and then get is jollies from it? I seriouly doubt it. He was just a stupid owner with a stupid dog.

It's a totally legitmate reason to be angry about a stupid dog/dog owner, but to somehow link this in a sexual way or to say that the owner had evil sexual empowerment motives is really, really wacky.

To compare dog saying hello with a woman being sexually assaulted are so far from each other, you can't even put them in the same sentence (other than this one)!


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## roadiegonebad (Jan 31, 2004)

Mr. T said:


> SICK OF YO JIBBA JABBA! If you cant protect your
> own junk from some slobberin-a$$-mutt then its
> you who gots tha problem SUCKA-CHUMP-A$$ FOO!
> 
> Stay in school!


*
LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! *


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Raymo853 said:


> I am confused. I thought he, the man, not the dog, first touched you then he, in your opinion, had the dog harass you.


I see how that could happen. I intentionally wrote the first post to suggest that I was directly assaulted by the owner, since I feel that the owner is completely responsible for the dog's actions, when the owner is standing right there and can control the dog. If he chooses not to act, it is as if he were doing it himself, since he is in a postion to stop it, but does not. So, if the dog did it, the owner did it. I wanted to raise a sense of indignation before making it clear that it was the dog, in order to challenge the established mindset of some unthinking individuals who seem to accept this kind of behaviour in dogs.

I guess I did not make it clear enough for some, that it was in fact the dog going for my crotch.

I do not care if dogs do this to each other. I am not a dog. I do not wish to engage in dog like activity with a dog. This is particularly true when it involves a dog playing with my dick.

Some people are trying to tell me that the dog is not thinking sexual thoughts. I do not care what the dog thinks. Who knows what a dog thinks? I consider it sexual when any head goes into my crotch. That is why it is so offensive. It is a dog. It is digusting. They rub my dick with their snout, and the touch itself is sexual, because it stimulates nerves in my sex organ. I do not want any dog doing that.

If you grew up with dogs, then you may accept this behavior. I did not grow up with dogs. I never had a dog and never wanted one. I do not see this as normal behavior. There are millions of people like me who never grew up with dogs. This does not mean we have to change our experience and feelings to align with those who have grown with dogs.

People are telling me I am insane. That is because they have postivie experience in life with dogs. Most of my experiecne with dogs is negative. There sense of sanity is based on some love of dogs or their past love of dogs.

I do not think that dog loving or living with a dog is required experience to claim sanity. a person is not insane simply because he does not have fond feelings for dogs, or because he did not grow up with one.

I have been bitten by them a number of times. I have been chase by them on my bike and in my car. I have been barked and growled at by them, simply because I walked down a public street were I have every right to pass unthreatened. I have had them pi$$ on my plants and kill them. I have had them $hit on my yard. I really have no love for dogs.

I do not have much in the way of any fond or cherished experience with dogs. I have no reason to think that it is alright for them to play with my dick.

Because some people choose to own dogs and do not mind this sort of thing, does not mean that non-dog-owners feel the same way. Smokers don't mind the smoke, but non-smokers don't want to put up with it. Ditto.

If you wish to own a dog you are responsible for it and need to keep from being offensive to others. If you do not, then you are behaving offensively towards others, through your choices.

Dog owners need to respect the experiences and points of view of non-dog-owners. My crotch is my personal territory and I get to choose who or what goes there. If something or someone tries to force themselves into my crotch, I get offended.

I think I have every right to be offended.

old_dude


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## kurtdb1 (Apr 12, 2004)

old_dude said:


> I have been sexually assaulted on the trail, by some guy walking his two german shepards. I know the guy and I can't do anything about it. He is a neighbour, and I even know his address.
> 
> At the time I was hiking and not riding. We encounter each other headed in the opposite directions. We stopped to chat and he started reaching for my crouch and even succeeded in touching it a few times. This was inspite of my best efforts to shove him away with both hands repeatedly during the conversation.
> 
> ...


i was practically raped the other day while climbing a very steep trail at our local trail network by a WTB LASER V seat.....ouch....


----------



## Shannon-UT (Mar 26, 2004)

old_dude said:


> I know the guy and I can't do anything about it.
> 
> old_dude


Yes, you can do something about it. You don't have to be a victim, old_dude. Face it, there will always be stupid dogs and stupid dog owners. Try any of these next time (and there will be a next time unless you just sit in your house all day):

Ask the owner to hold his dog
Tap the dog on the nose
Say NO! to the dog (assume the 'alpha dog' role) and lift your knee to block it
Keep on walking/biking and ignore the dog

You could also tell you neighbor that your encounter the other day made you uncomfortable. Tell him you have a fear of dogs (lie, don't mention the sexual assault part) and you did not like the dog near you. Perhaps he should restrain the dog next time.

There. That is far from "_I can't do a thing about it_" mentality.


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

old_dude said:


> This is particularly true when it involves a dog playing with my dick.
> 
> I consider it sexual when any head goes into my crotch. That is why it is so offensive. It is a dog. It is digusting. They rub my dick with their snout, and the touch itself is sexual, because it stimulates nerves in my sex organ. I do not want any dog doing that.
> 
> ...


So again you say several times that the dog was playing with your dick. So if a 5 year old hugs you and their face is in your crotch, you consider that sexual and perverse? Do you call the police and ask to have the 5 year old arrested? Do you ask their parents to not let them hug you since they get to close to your crotch?

In case you have never noticed, many times when young children hug you their faces are very close or rub against your crotch. For 99.9% of us, there is absolutely nothing sexual about it. For you it appears that there would be. Kind of scary.

Given you passive-agressive nature, shown by the fact that you couldn't even ask the owner of the dogs to hold on to his dogs, or say something like " I really don't care for dogs, could you please hold them", but come here claiming you were assaulted, I question your skills to function in society. What do you do if somebody cuts you off? Write a letter to the editor discussing how people who cut you off on the road are asaulting you by being your personal space and should be arrested.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*I was a little distracted at the time...*



gofarther said:


> Exactly what you should have said to the guy when it was happening - instead of saving your demented little rant for here!
> 
> You are obviously quite adept at voicing your opinion. Be man enough to do it when it counts.


I appreciate your sentiment. However, I was rather preoccupied with this guy talking to me and trying to keep the dog out of my crotch at the same time, expecting he would do something. Once I realized he was not going to do anything, I was much more interested in distancing myself from them all.

It was only, once I was clear that I had time to really get angry and feel victimized. Now that I have had some preparation with this experience, you can be sure that if this sort of thing happens again, I will be much more vocal the owner.

The reason I posted here, was that many people have dogs or encounter dogs on the trail. There was another post that I was going to respond to, about some kids who had a bad experience with dogs and a dog owner on the trail, but I started a new thread so as not to hijack that thread.

It is my hope that if any dog owners have read this, they will at least take away the memory with them, and perhaps keep their dogs from doing the same sort of thing to other people.

For those who feel the same way I do, I hope to make them realize they are not alone, and others feel offended when dogs ram a snout up their crotch.

old_dude


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

ChiTown said:


> old_dude - get a life. If you don't want to be molested/assualted by dogs, stay away from them altogether. Trying to train a dog not sniff your crotch or another dog's for that matter is like trying to teach a male dog not to lift his leg when he takes a piss.
> 
> Again, if you're so turned off by it, avoid the animal at costs.


Sorry, dude, I will go where I please, and if your dog offends I will be throwing it back at you. Control your dog or be prepared to answer for it's actions.

I won't be letting another dog shove it's nose in there.

old_dude


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## ssmike (Jan 21, 2004)

Maybe your crotch just smells really good. Like a nice pot roast.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

laotsu42 said:


> it is your own mind that sees the dog as sexually assaulting you ...
> i have three dogs and all i do when they sniff my crotch is push their muzzels away and say no ...
> 
> that is how dogs get to know each other , a good owner will have trained them not to do that ...if you want sympathy your not going to get it the only thing sexual about the whole encounter is your perception ...
> ...


I am not a dog and have no interest in getting to know any. No dog has a right to push itself on me.

As you say a good owner is capable of training the dog not to do this to people, or at least to stop when pushed away.

That is why, I say the owner is responsible right from the start.

Because I have never owned a dog, I do not have a dog approaching to my crotch as an acceptable non-sexual experience. That does not make me wrong, or insane. Dog loving or dog ownership is not a required prerequisite for sanity of valid point of view.

They do not just sniff your crotch, they shove their nose right in and touch it. When a dog shoves its nose in there, it touches you and stimuates nerves on the sexual organ. That is sexual. I do not want any dog doing that to me. I don't care what its motives or thoughts might be.

old_dude


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Mr. T said:


> SICK OF YO JIBBA JABBA! If you cant protect your
> own junk from some slobberin-a$$-mutt then its
> you who gots tha problem SUCKA-CHUMP-A$$ FOO!
> 
> Stay in school!


Yes, I have a problem. Negligent dog owners.

Talk is cheap.

So, mister tough guy, why don't you come here and show me how it is done?

I am sure we can get these two german sheppards to meet up with you.

There are alot of tough talking dudes here, who would not come out so well, me thinks.

old_dude


----------



## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

old_dude said:


> That is why, I say the owner is responsible right from the start.
> 
> old_dude


Then call the friggin' cops you fool! Call the cops and deal with it like a man, or shut the hell up. If you won't help yourself by calling the cops, what the heck do you want from us? Do you really expect sympathy? Never owned a dog? I'll wager that that's not the only never in your life. Do yourself a favor and head on down to your local SPCA, and get yourself a friend. You aren't making any here.

Are you sure you're not a roadie?

Oh, BTW, no response is required, especially where you whine some more.


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

CDMC said:


> Now I should be arrested? Last I checked I don't own the two dogs in question and don't live in eastern Canada near you (thank God). As far as a dog playing with your dick, it really sounds like you have a sexual problem. Personally, I have never had a dog play with my dick, but I am not into sex with animals like you. Does your wife know about your fetish with dogs playing with your dick?
> 
> Old Wacko's world- Dog sniffing crotch= dog playing with dick= sexual assault.
> 
> Next week Old Wacko will be posting how his neighbor sexually assaulted him because he looked at Old Wacko's crotch.


Yes I have a sexual problem. My sexual problem is a$$holes who let there dogs shove there noses in my crotch. I thought, I made that very clear.

I do not let it happen.

I guess you have a reading problem.

I explained quite clearly that I was pushing the dog away to whole time. If I was into it, I would not be venting about it. I guess you are to f'n stupid to understand even the most rudimentary concepts.

Does your wife know you are a mindless idiot?

Next week, I will be doing something more interesting than arguing with some idiot like you, who can't put two thoughts together and so just resorts to insults.

Have some back.

old_dude


----------



## Drewdane (Dec 19, 2003)

LOL!!! This is fast turning into the funniest thread I've ever read!

old_dude, I don't know whether you're serious, a troll, or just a complete and utter wingnut, and I don't really care. Just keep it up - this is f*ckin' HILARIOUS!


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

ssmike said:


> Nevermind.


Consider your post not minded.

old_dude


----------



## andy f (Jan 13, 2004)

old_dude said:


> Yes, I have a problem. Negligent dog owners.
> 
> Talk is cheap.
> 
> ...


Despite your explainations, I still don't understand why you didn't simply ask the dog owner to restrain his animals. You have attributed motives to your neighbor that seem highly unlikely (i.e. he was using his dogs to assert dominance over you). Chances are he's just accustomed to his dogs' behavior and was oblivious to the fact that it bothered you. I'd wager that asking politely would have done the trick.


----------



## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

old_dude said:


> Next week, I will be doing something more interesting than arguing with some idiot like you, who can't put two thoughts together and so just resorts to insults.
> 
> Have some back.
> 
> old_dude


what a suprise you've only been arguing about it for 8 hours straight ...

maybe you should try going for a ride ...might put your mind in a betterframe of mind to examine what exaclty is going on here ...

other wise youre just a troll ...thththththththhthth


----------



## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

old_dude said:


> Yes I have a sexual problem. My sexual problem is a$$holes who let there dogs shove there noses in my crotch. I thought, I made that very clear.
> 
> I do not let it happen.
> 
> old_dude


Make up your mind, first you say the dogs are playing with your dick, and then you say they were shoving their noses in your crotch. You say you didn't let it happen, but yet you didn't say one word to the owner. Instead you carried on a conversation with him and then get home and decide you were assaulted.

As far as me being an idiot, so be it, I am one, but people still pay me $250/hr (thats US money by the way) for my advice. I would guess you can't say the same about yourself.

As far as putting two thoughts together, I am not the one who can't put my hand in front of my crotch and ask the owner to please hold his dogs.

To the others reading this thread, sorry but I am bored and it is fun to watch Old Wacko flounder ever deeper.


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Bikehigh said:


> Then call the friggin' cops you fool! Call the cops and deal with it like a man, or shut the hell up. If you won't help yourself by calling the cops, what the heck do you want from us? Do you really expect sympathy? Never owned a dog? I'll wager that that's not the only never in your life. Do yourself a favor and head on down to your local SPCA, and get yourself a friend. You aren't making any here.
> 
> Are you sure you're not a roadie?
> 
> Oh, BTW, no response is required, especially where you whine some more.


Calling the cops does not make you a man. Your insults are wasted on me. That piece of gibberish is just mindless [email protected]

Yes, I could call the cops, and I would probably get the same kind of BS I am getting here.
Sometimes, you have to start by changing attitudes before calling the cops is feasible.

I am willing to get going on that ground work. You would go to the cops, get laughed at and walk away. Do you think that would make you a man?

I really don't care if I have your symathy, as long as the dog owners get the message.

I will gladly alienate the lot of you, if it will help keep dogs out of my crotch. Anyone who thinks its Ok for dogs to shove their noses in people's crotches is not worth knowing anyway.

I have human friends. Maybe, if you had some you would not need a dog. Do yourself a favor and get a brain.

You want to be insulting, I can play too.

Oh yes. No response is required, especially if your are too stupid to make any sense.

old_dude


----------



## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

Some people are clueless. Others don't have a clue that they don't have a clue. You're one of them. Ta-ta, old_lady.


----------



## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

old_dude said:


> Yes, I could call the cops, and I would probably get the same kind of BS I am getting here.
> 
> Anyone who thinks its Ok for dogs to shove their noses in people's crotches is not worth knowing anyway.
> 
> old_dude


Hint, if you call the cops and they laugh it is probably a sign that you are a whack job.

The second quote is hilarious. I can see you meeting  people and saying "Excuse me but do you think it is okay for dogs to sniff your crotch." Who cares about the answer, the look on their face must be priceless. Have you checked with your (alleged) friends to make sure they feel the same as you about dog crotch sniffing? Are you prepared to tell them they are "not worth knowing" if they don't see a problem with it? I can see it already, Old Whacko's litmus test for politicians "what is your position on crotch sniffing."


----------



## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

Don't feed the troll, guys. This dude has posted elsewhere, usually some idiotic assertion or what starts as an innocuous question and then the whole mtb community reacts in a way that somehow, he didn't see coming!! Amazing. The old_dork is a troll, plain and simple. I've seen his schtick a few times now and it's always the same. Some sort of lame question or idea is put out there, people react, and he acts somehow hurt or defensive that people are not taking his side. He apparently has no life other than people reacting to his posts. He got some sort of vague sexual satisfaction from the dog sniffing his privates, feels guilty about it, and is compensating by claiming he was molested by a dog. Let's all act unsurprised and stop feeding the troll.


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

CDMC said:


> So again you say several times that the dog was playing with your dick. So if a 5 year old hugs you and their face is in your crotch, you consider that sexual and perverse? Do you call the police and ask to have the 5 year old arrested? Do you ask their parents to not let them hug you since they get to close to your crotch?
> 
> In case you have never noticed, many times when young children hug you their faces are very close or rub against your crotch. For 99.9% of us, there is absolutely nothing sexual about it. For you it appears that there would be. Kind of scary.
> 
> Given you passive-agressive nature, shown by the fact that you couldn't even ask the owner of the dogs to hold on to his dogs, or say something like " I really don't care for dogs, could you please hold them", but come here claiming you were assaulted, I question your skills to function in society. What do you do if somebody cuts you off? Write a letter to the editor discussing how people who cut you off on the road are asaulting you by being your personal space and should be arrested.


Interesting you should point out the case of a 5 year old child. The child is a person not a dog. A child hugging a parent is a normal and acceptable behavior. It is part of our child rearing process.

The dog is another species. It also does not accidently touch your private parts, as a child might do during a hug. It is doing it deliberately.

Question all you like. When you have two vicious looking german sheppards in front of you and you have some seemly uncaring owner distracting you with idle chatter, you may not see things quite the same way.

When cutoff, I honk my horn to protest.

That is a far cry from rubbing their nose in my crotch.

I seriously question your ability to understand basic reasoning. Do you understand how a light switch works? The whole on and off concept?

old_dude


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Bikehigh said:


> Some people are clueless. Others don't have a clue that they don't have a clue. You're one of them. Ta-ta, old_lady.


I agree that some people are clueless. i would say your are a prime example.

Ta-dumb, bike-low-IQ

old_dude


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

CDMC said:


> You are really sexually disturbed, now you are talking about having a finger stuck up your a$$.


Actually, I said they can stick a finger up your a$$.

However, I am sure that would not disturb you at all. You would probably enjoy it. Maybe you can get a dog to do your dick at the same time, since you seem to think it is all good.

old_dude


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## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

Hey, I just thought I'd let you all know something. My dog just licked my hand, and I feel all tingly.


----------



## trogdor (May 23, 2004)

> What's your problem? You're an American, sue the idiots for a million dollars. Get a shrink to describe how you have been psychologically damaged for life and how you are now terrfied of dogs, emotionally distraught over your first bike being pissed on, you have nightmares every night, you can't focus on your school work and now any future career is at risk.


That was old_dude's response to some kid who complained that a dog pissed on his bike. Maybe old_dude should take some some of his own advice.


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

laotsu42 said:


> love the drama queen pic ...
> and you should listen to mister t man, cover you junk ...
> 
> its a coping skill you learn when you hang out with dogs ....
> ...


I sense some well intentioned reason here.

Thanks for the tip. Next time, I will do exactly that while having words with the owner.

I never hung out with dogs, and so never developed that sort of coping skill.

Makes sense. My first reaction was to push the dog forcefully away. Problem is I had to keep doing it and it would not give up. I guess that's what is meant by dogged persistance. It even managed to get past my pushing a couple times.

Thanks

old_dude


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

laotsu42 said:


> what a suprise you've only been arguing about it for 8 hours straight ...
> 
> maybe you should try going for a ride ...might put your mind in a betterframe of mind to examine what exaclty is going on here ...
> 
> other wise youre just a troll ...thththththththhthth


Sorry, just because you cannot appreciate my point of veiw does not make me a troll. The only reason I am arguing so persistantly is becasue I feel strongly about the issue.

I have been on this board for quit some time. I did not just show up to cause trouble, just to get some kind of kick out of stirring things up.

I really and truly do not want some dog poking his snout in my crotch. Owners should be responsible enough to train their dogs to restrict that sort of activity to other dogs.

I really have no desire to insult people here. Where I have resorted to insults, it has been is response to insults cast at me. If people don't want to be insulted, then they should refrain from insulting.

It all seems rather childish to me, since I am accustomed to discussion things rationally.

The whole thing seems incredibly straight forward.

If you are a dog owner, you should be aware that some people will not take kindly to having your dog sticking his nose in their crotch. Some people will be greatly offended by this. I am one such person.

If somehow you did not understand this before, then understand it now.

Let me ask this. Would you consider it OK, if your dog went up to the president of the US and shoved his nose in the president's crotch, or perhaps shoved its nose in the pope's crotch. How about the queen of England.

I know I am not one of those dignitaries, but I have dignity too. Such behavior is not welcome, and is in fact offensive to me.

old_dude


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## Dirdir (Jan 23, 2004)

*Feed The Troll!!!!!!*



mward said:


> Don't feed the troll, guys. This dude has posted elsewhere, usually some idiotic assertion or what starts as an innocuous question and then the whole mtb community reacts in a way that somehow, he didn't see coming!! Amazing. The old_dork is a troll, plain and simple. I've seen his schtick a few times now and it's always the same. Some sort of lame question or idea is put out there, people react, and he acts somehow hurt or defensive that people are not taking his side. He apparently has no life other than people reacting to his posts. He got some sort of vague sexual satisfaction from the dog sniffing his privates, feels guilty about it, and is compensating by claiming he was molested by a dog. Let's all act unsurprised and stop feeding the troll.


Why do we have to "stop feeding the troll"? I never understood that. Look at the fun going on here. If anyone does not like it, they do not have to participate. Trolling in no way has any negative impact that I can think of. I say FEED THE TROLL.


----------



## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

Dirdir said:


> Why do we have to "stop feeding the troll"? I never understood that. Look at the fun going on here. If anyone does not like it, they do not have to participate. Trolling in no way has any negative impact that I can think of. I say FEED THE TROLL.


You're probably right, but I bet he's posting on some other board about how he feels molested by the members of mtbr.com...


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## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

*it is okay to tell the owner politely that is is bothering you*

and that is from a dog owner ...
i usually keep my own dog in check but if i am not it is ok to let me know ...if some one dosen't think you are right to be offended then ditch em ...


----------



## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

mward said:


> You're probably right, but I bet he's posting on some other board about how he feels molested by the members of mtbr.com...


----------



## Dirdir (Jan 23, 2004)

*That Could Be Bad*



mward said:


> You're probably right, but I bet he's posting on some other board about how he feels molested by the members of mtbr.com...


True, I guess that could be a bad thing but I still say what is wrong with the troll? I guess it can slow down the site, but that is not enough for me to stop feeding the troll. Maybe I am pro troll because I am one, although the last time I checked with my kids I was an ogre. What is the difference?


----------



## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

old_dude said:


> When a dog shoves its nose in there, it touches you and stimuates nerves on the sexual organ. That is sexual.


you must have a hell of a time in public ... just imagine if you have to scratch your boys on the trail ...you'll be there for at least 5 min's ...you can't hang out with kids either ...they have no sense of what is right or wrong and have no idea what those parts do and will gladly hit you there and laugh ....


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

mward said:


> Don't feed the troll, guys. This dude has posted elsewhere, usually some idiotic assertion or what starts as an innocuous question and then the whole mtb community reacts in a way that somehow, he didn't see coming!! Amazing. The old_dork is a troll, plain and simple. I've seen his schtick a few times now and it's always the same. Some sort of lame question or idea is put out there, people react, and he acts somehow hurt or defensive that people are not taking his side. He apparently has no life other than people reacting to his posts. He got some sort of vague sexual satisfaction from the dog sniffing his privates, feels guilty about it, and is compensating by claiming he was molested by a dog. Let's all act unsurprised and stop feeding the troll.


I have seen your kind of reaction before. I admit that I have had a disagreement on the women's lounge board, regarding clipless pedals. If you care to cite any other case please do so. I have no regrets about that argument or any other. I had a bunch of people insulting me, and mind-reading me at every turn. It was a disgusting display of abusive tactics.

Now I have you with a global label "troll" for me and gunny sacking me. These are all nasty and abusive tactics. Perhaps, if you had some idea about what constitutes reasonable discussion, and what is abusive, you would be better equipped to enter into rational discussion.

Here is a clue. All of the following are offensive and abusive tactics in discussion.

Mind Reading

Consists of interpreting someone elses thoughts, actions, or motives under imagined or real context, when you have no way of actually knowing what the traget's thoughts or responses would be. This is usually some unflattering BS invented by the author, and intended to discredit the target.

It goes something like this, 
------------------------------------------------
You clearly enjoyed this "altercation" in a deep dark place -- you are the only one making the act of a dog sniffing your balls an overt sexual advance.
------------------------------------------------

Global Labelling

Consists of attaching some insulting name to the traget such as "troll" in order to justify your anger or dislike, and to encourage others to feel the same.

It looks something like this,
-------------------------------------------------
a) Don't feed the troll, guys.

b) The old_dork 
-------------------------------------------------

Gunny Sacking

Consists saving recollections of past events you consider unflattering to the target and bringing these things up, even though they are unrelated, in order to discredit the target, in a manner unrelated to the point of discussion.

I looks much like this,

--------------------------------------------------
I've seen his schtick a few times now and it's always the same. 
--------------------------------------------------

I could continue in this but, I did not come here to eductate you on civil and rational discussion. It is quitre clear by the examples I have cited that you are exercising abusive tactics and so may be considered abusive. It told people much the same thing when I was involved in that discussion on the ladies lounge board.

Now quite frankly, I do not need people to agree with my point. I am quite prepared to argue it on a rational basis. If you do not agree fine. At one time smokers would not agree
that their smoke was offensive. That was a consensus opinion. It was wrong, as time proved in the end. A consensus does not make something right. A lynch mob has a concensus. That does not make them right.

I am not required to drop my point of view or cease arguing it because there is a group of people prepared to insult me and use abusive tactics on me.

I have yet to hear anything, that I consider a rational justification for people allowing their dogs to ram their snouts up other people's crotches. Plain and simple.

I have heard much in the way of mind reading, insults, global labels and now gunny sacking. I am unmoved by such behavior, and do not mind returning insults in kind.

Your tactics are transparent to me. So why not drop the [email protected] and discuss this rationally? If you do not have any rational and constructive input, why do you bud out?

old_dude


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

robotkiller said:


> You clearly enjoyed this "altercation" in a deep dark place -- you are the only one making the act of a dog sniffing your balls an overt sexual advance.
> 
> I have to believe you are serious, simply because you are only making yourself look like an incredible freak.
> 
> Next time you see the dog, I suggest you offer your dissertation on the sex act as an expression of power. Very compelling


"You clearly enjoyed this...etc" = mind reading 

"incredible freak" = global label 

Simply transparent abusive tactics. 

If you ever learn to discuss in a civil manner, your input will be welcome. Until then, I suggest you take a ride off a 2000 foot drop and see how your components hold up.

old_dude


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## smelly (Jan 15, 2004)

old_dude said:


> I\
> As far as calling the police and charging the OWNER with sexual assault, I hope to be able to do that one day. I think the owner has a legal obligation to restrain their dogs from sexual touching with humans. If they do not, I think they should be charged.


if you do call the cops about it, can you PLEASE record the conversation? the cops are gonna laugh so hard at you, and i'd love to hear what they have to say.


----------



## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

old_dude said:


> Your tactics are transparent to me. So why not drop the [email protected] and discuss this rationally? If you do not have any rational and constructive input, why do you bud out?
> 
> old_dude


 your gung fu has no effect on me ...haha ....

what ever ...


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## smelly (Jan 15, 2004)

holy crap. 61 people viewing this thread. this thread is hilarious


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Shannon-UT said:


> I agree the owner should not have allowed his dog to sniff you or say hello to you like that. I am a dog owner and I am training my puppy not to do those annoying things. Dog training is not an exact science, however. Maybe this dog didn't receive any training. Yes, it is a dog's way of saying hello, but the owner should have restrained his dogs.
> 
> My question is why did you not say, "Dude, can you hold your dog please?" You would not have been out of line, nor would the dogs have attacked you, since you seemed you were scared of an impending attack. Just say it calmly, not yelling or arms flailing or anything. Instead the owner probably had no idea that it was bothering you since you didn't voice yourself. Sounds like the owner was stupid too for not realizing what was going on either. But you have a voice, use it!
> 
> ...


Thanks, for what appears to me, to be some rational and civil discussion.

I expected the dog owner to do something. When he did not, I did cut the talk off and get away. It was the interval before I realized that he was not going to do anything, and I had not yet decided to get out of there, that I find upsetting.

In retrospect, I regret not saying something to him, as well, and if I encounter him again under similar circumstances, I will.

As far as his attitude goes, I am cetainly guessing at his motives, but am going by what I have seen.

I have met him a number of times. He keeps his dogs outside in a chainlink kennel, even in the winter. I have seen him on the trails before, and he never expresses any affection towards the dogs. He carries a whistle and his communication with the dogs consists of blowing his whistle and barking orders. He never has them on a leash. The only time he actually blows his whistle and calls them, is when he wants to move on. Otherwise he lets them do whatever they want. Anytime someone comes near the dogs charge up and seem aggressive. He does nothing to stop them and seems to enjoy the apprehension that the dogs are causing.

I may be wrong, but I figure this guy is short and he is compensating by using his dogs as some sort of expression of physical power. He does not seem to actually like the dogs, he just seems to like commanding them, and having them at his beck and call. he seems to like having people intimidated by them, and so by his presence, because they are with him and controlled by him.

As far as the sexual aspect goes, I really don't care what the dogs motives are. I care about the result, which is that I have a dog trying to ram his nose into my crotch unrelentingly.

My crotch is my private territory, which I share with my wife. No dog has any business in there. If a dog is going after my sex organ, I consider that either threatening or sexual in nature. Since, the dog did not seem like it was about to bite me there, that leaves sexual, since it's out to touch and smell. I will not adopt a dogs view of the world and consider this non-sexual. I am not a dog. I am a person with a person's view. That person is not a dog person. I have no reason to consider such behavior as anything but sexual in my experience. I do not feel compelled to change that attitude or my world view because people tell me that they have learned dog and are willing to start interacting with dogs on the dog's level. I feel no compulsion to interact with the dog on its level.

I do not want a dog touching and smelling my sex organ. I believe I have every right be offended by such behavior.

When the owner does nothing to stop the dog, then I believe the dog has the owners approval. This makes me question what he is getting out of this. Considering what I have already told you, I feel justified in sugesting that this guy is on some sort of power trip. I find the guy creepy, to say the least.

old_dude


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## trogdor (May 23, 2004)

I'm going to "mind read" as you put it.

The reason you posted this thread and the horrible topic was because you wanted sympathy. By saying your were assulated you are saying I'm a victim. And you were looking for pity from the people here because you probably read other threads were people support the biker who was attacked or ran in to a dog. Rather everyone basically flamed you for taking something that means nothing other than a dog checking you out and tried to turn it in to a horrible crime. It didn't happen get over it.

If you wanted a discussion on why this sort of thing should happens you should have titled your thread as such. Like "Encounter with a dog today", or "Why do dogs sniff your crotch?" or, something like that. Not that you were sexually assualted. Rather you were looking for attention, be it negative or positive by putting something outlandish as a title you knew everyone was going to look at. 

Sexual assualt is a horrible crime and for you to say what happened to you was a sexual assualt is an insult to every victim of the crime and you should be ashamed.


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## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

old_dude said:


> Sorry, just because you cannot appreciate my point of veiw does not make me a troll. The only reason I am arguing so persistantly is becasue I feel strongly about the issue.
> 
> Let me ask this. Would you consider it OK, if your dog went up to the president of the US and shoved his nose in the president's crotch, or perhaps shoved its nose in the pope's crotch. How about the queen of England.
> 
> ...


i grew up around dogs and it came easy to deflect their inquisitive nature ...its easy ...realy 
like mr t said cover your junk foo ...
that being said ...i understand that having a dogs nose in your crotch is unpleasant but the reason that every one is jumping on you is that you have over reacted if you had simply said " could you get you dog out of my crotch i am not sure if he's freindly and might bite me if i attempted to do so" i'm sure that the owner would comply ...but to not say anything and then starting a fight about it and lick your wounds on the internet about it for 10 hours now is just silly the only reason i am still reading this is i have been baby sitting but this thread has been a great source of amusement ....  ...whats your excuse ...

and if my dog sniffed the W's crotch i'd fall over laughing if it wasn't for the fact i'd probably have to pull W off the back side of my dog after ...to the dog there is nothing sexual about it, it is just saying high ...any way dogs don't allways listen ...it has nothing to do with dignity ...


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## robotkiller (Jan 20, 2004)

"My crotch is my private territory, which I share with my wife."

classic.

Honestly, I'm feeling sorry for you -- for your own sake, stop replying -- you make it worse with lines like this.


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## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

trogdor said:


> Sexual assualt is a horrible crime and for you to say what happened to you was a sexual assualt is an insult to every victim of the crime and you should be ashamed.


bravo ...well said ...


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## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

smelly said:


> holy crap. 61 people viewing this thread. this thread is hilarious


if only we could get the gang from the dh board to jump in a little more then it'll be a real circus ...

i haven't laughed this hard for a while ...


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## kept man (Jan 13, 2004)

Does everyone always see their own name first on the list of people viewing a thread? I've always wondered, and this twilight zone seems as good a place as any to ask ...


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## siochain (Jan 15, 2004)

*How do we know for sure that ...*

_Old Dude_ wasn't playin' with the dogs dick? I also live in Canada, and heard that an RCMP det responded to a call from a German Shepherd who was shaken after a similar assault. Hmmm, I dunno man. Maybe you are really the Old _Dirty_ Dude.
HeHeHe ... we all gotta lighten up a little.  
Hey .. my nuts! Just kiddin' HeHe


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## SILVERHUFFY (Jan 13, 2004)

I hate cold dog nose on my dick.
I found that if I pepperspray my balls the dogs won't "play" with them as much.( I heard tobasco sauce on the taint works also)
A friend of mine rubs brussel sprouts and baking soda on his sack-& he never gets sexually assaulted by dogs.
might be worth a try!


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## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

kept man said:


> Does everyone always see their own name first on the list of people viewing a thread? I've always wondered, and this twilight zone seems as good a place as any to ask ...


yep i see mine first at the bottom as well ...


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## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

SILVERHUFFY said:


> I hate cold dog nose on my dick.
> I found that if I pepperspray my balls the dogs won't "play" with them as much.( I heard tobasco sauce on the taint works also)
> A friend of mine rubs brussel sprouts and baking soda on his sack-& he never gets sexually assaulted by dogs.
> might be worth a try!


i've heard that bitter apple works as well ...
or you could use tiger balm ...


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## VaNRS2 (Dec 29, 2003)

*wow*

Very interesting thread but maybe if you washed your balls they would ot sniff as much   All kidding aside you should have just said something or pushed the dog away. It obviously did not bother you enough to be "rude" to him by interrupting. Either way I am glad I read this it was a good laugh


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## drsam (Jan 12, 2004)

*Dude, get real!*

Are you serious?

You say you couldn't wait for the conversation to end so you could move away. Why did you wait? A conversation requires the willing participation of both parties. Unless he had a gun to your head, you could have moved away immediately.

If you were really that shook up you could have said "Hey mister, could you get your dog's snout out of my crotch?"

I think you are being a drama-queen style wannabe victim.

Get real


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## stinkydub (Apr 26, 2004)

*Isn't this related to another thread?*

So, what does everyone one listen to on their MP3 when a dog sniffs your package?


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## lifelover (Jan 23, 2004)

*The Big O?*

Are you considering it a Sexual assualt just because you came home with sticky shorts?


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## SILVERHUFFY (Jan 13, 2004)

stinkydub said:


> So, what does everyone one listen to on their MP3 when a dog sniffs your package?


"take my breath away" from the top-gun sound track 
or anything from Air Supply...


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## TheSherpa (Jan 15, 2004)

laotsu42 said:


> if only we could get the gang from the dh board to jump in a little more then it'll be a real circus ...
> 
> i haven't laughed this hard for a while ...


Yea i agree, F*ck the DH board this is sooooo funny. Oh, and i think old_dude has had some past sexual experiences with dogs and his so called "wife" (who wears the wig?) found out and now is afraid of all dogs. Cooter. needs more say in this thread as does everyone else. I say we keep it going and make it 10pages long!!!!!!!!!

Old_dude get a life.

-TS


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## seldon (May 30, 2004)

[email protected],

I think you should get a larger chinstrap, it might help to repel the dogs.  

Also, next time a dog sniffs your crotch, why not turn away? It works purty damn well.

Weren't you on your bike?


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## Darkan (Mar 20, 2004)

*yaaaa!*



old_dude said:


> Let me ask this. Would you consider it OK, if your dog went up to the president of the US and shoved his nose in the president's crotch, or perhaps shoved its nose in the pope's crotch. How about the queen of England.
> 
> old_dude


Hey! Are you trying to turn me on?


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## gobike (Jan 30, 2004)

*Congrat's*

For starting the stupidest thread in MTBR's message board history...

Not only is it stupid, your sarcasm and ill attempt at humor is even dumb.

This may be the dumbest paragraph I've ever read. Even my wife got a good laugh out of it:

"My crotch is my private territory, which I share with my wife. No dog has any business in there. If a dog is going after my sex organ, I consider that either threatening or sexual in nature. Since, the dog did not seem like it was about to bite me there, that leaves sexual, since it's out to touch and smell. I will not adopt a dogs view of the world and consider this non-sexual. I am not a dog. I am a person with a person's view. That person is not a dog person. I have no reason to consider such behavior as anything but sexual in my experience. I do not feel compelled to change that attitude or my world view because people tell me that they have learned dog and are willing to start interacting with dogs on the dog's level. I feel no compulsion to interact with the dog on its level"

I must thank you for the next paragraph, as I now have a great signature!

"I do not want a dog touching and smelling my sex organ. I believe I have every right be offended by such behavior"


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## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

"Anytime someone comes near the dogs charge up and seem aggressive. He does nothing to stop them and seems to enjoy the apprehension that the dogs are causing."

that quote says to me that you are not angry about the sniffing as you are about the way he controls his dogs ...and i wouldn't fault you for that ...

my roommates daughter has a german shepard and i am one of the few people that it will listen too but in public he's never off the leash exept at the park to play and even then he is well trained and socialized ...never bothers any one and if he goes up to some one who is holding out a hand he usualy drops a slimmy tennis ball in it and play barks ...

you have to be very aware with dogs like rotwilers and german shepards ...they are very intelligent and very dominant ...from your discriptions he is an irresponsible owner and if you call animal control about it they will probably make hime take obedience courses or make him leash the beasts ....

a breed like a german shepard should never be alowed to run around like that ...

but i think from the sound of it what really offended you about the whole affair is the way the dogs were allowed to behave and a dog should not be that out of control but that goes back to you should have said somthing ....and if he dosen't listen then call animal control and say you asked him nicely ....people around my neighbor hood all own pit bulls and roties and they Never keep them in their yards ...i keep pepper spray with me at all times and if that dosen't work i can allways knock them sh!tless with my helmet ...but i usualy yell as i go past that if the dog is out tomorow that it will be gone ...and the dog is usually in the yard the next evening ....

call animal control ...they might make him restrain the dogs ...


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## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

TheSherpa said:


> Yea i agree, F*ck the DH board this is sooooo funny. Oh, and i think old_dude has had some past sexual experiences with dogs and his so called "wife" (who wears the wig?) found out and now is afraid of all dogs. Cooter. needs more say in this thread as does everyone else. I say we keep it going and make it 10pages long!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Old_dude get a life.
> 
> -TS


yeah zedro whc cooter and the rest would shred the poor dude ...

maybe he might be a nice guy in reality but he is trolling ...i mean 15 hours geez but it was funny so i watched in between baby sitting and helping with the addition to our house ...


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## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

SILVERHUFFY said:


> "take my breath away" from the top-gun sound track
> or anything from Air Supply...


BWAAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAAA

 

or maybe some motown ...


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## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

lifelover said:


> Are you considering it a Sexual assualt just because you came home with sticky shorts?


oops ...ouch ...


and the winner for best response to this post is lifelover LOL


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## mudpuppy (Feb 7, 2004)

Well, this is about the saddest thing I have EVER read. It is in a dogs nature to sniff another animal or person, its kinda like how we shake hands. Now if you wanna get really creeped out....just think where else he stuck his nose that day....and now its all over your crotch. Sucks to be you. Man, you really need to lighten up, its a dog. I agree that the owner should have had control, but so should you. You have as much control in that situation as the owner did. Stop the conversation and tell the owner to control his dogs, or push the dogs away, and if they do not go away a slight rap on the nose with the knuckle does wonders, their noses are very sensitive. But what really got me about this post was the sexual assault, really....you gotta be shittin me. To play the victim because YOU did not have control of the situation is crazy. And as trogdor said, this is a disgrace to every person that have ever legitimately been sexually assaulted. In those situations they had no control, you on the other hand could have stopped the conversation, and been up front with the owner of the dogs. You were not being attacked, you are a grown man, and to claim sexual harassment by proxy is one of the outright.....oh words fail me right now......STUPIDEST things I have ever heard. You can reply calling me names and that I don't get it....but I do, I have had it done, by VERY large dogs. You are being ignorant.


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## scrublover (Dec 30, 2003)

Bikehigh said:


> Hey, I just thought I'd let you all know something. My dog just licked my hand, and I feel all tingly.


aw sh!t; i just snorted my coffee through my nose reading this one.....

ahem. carry one.

this. is very amusing.

the clipless thread on the womens board was equally entertaining. in regard to watching old_fart flail about with spurious logic.


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## scrublover (Dec 30, 2003)

[........... I was rather preoccupied with this guy talking to me and trying to keep the dog out of my crotch at the same time, expecting he would do something.]

Wow! Are you able to walk and chew gum at the same time? You make yourself sound as if you are unable to wipe your own ass.

FWIW, I don't care for dogs doing this either........but I'm not going to whine about it on a net forum. I find it much easier to push the dogs away. Never had a problem with doing so, even with very large and aggressive dogs.


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## Ricko (Jan 14, 2004)

*As Jeff Foxworthy would say...*



old_dude said:


> I have been sexually assaulted on the trail, by some guy walking his two german shepards. I know the guy and I can't do anything about it. He is a neighbour, and I even know his address.
> 
> At the time I was hiking and not riding. We encounter each other headed in the opposite directions. We stopped to chat and he started reaching for my crouch and even succeeded in touching it a few times. This was inspite of my best efforts to shove him away with both hands repeatedly during the conversation.
> 
> ...


"Here's your sign"

Geez man, assert yourself! A firm NO...while backing away from the dogs should send the message. If the dogs owner doesnt catch on you might have to be more direct with a "get your fukkin' dogs away from me man".


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## fred3 (Jan 12, 2004)

It's a dog for heavens sake. If you didn't want him to do it then you should have told the guy. How pathetic calling being sniffed by a dog a sexual assault.


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## tl1 (Dec 21, 2003)

*Impressive trolling attention-starved old dude!*

140 replies so far. Keep up the good trolling work.


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## What&son (Jan 13, 2004)

*Is this taken from Diken´s Club Pickwick papers or what?*

Very good , really


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## TroutBum (Feb 16, 2004)

...for the love of god & all that is good....

...PLEASE STOP!!!!!

I cannot believe I just wasted 10 minutes scrolling through this nonsense


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## MVRIDER (Jan 15, 2004)

Sneak pic. of old dude running like hell after rover had his way with him.


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## Zonic Man (Dec 19, 2003)

Holy crap you're a nut job.

Seek help.


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## bmateo (Jan 13, 2004)

old_dude said:


> Simply put, I do not want anyones friggin dog playing with my dick.
> old_dude


My question: What was your "dick" doing out in the first place?

You have every right to not accept this behavior, and certainly don't have to be subjected to it, but I am sorry, if you sat there and took it then you have no right to whine either.

All you had to do is tell they guy politely that he should restrain his dogs and he is making you extremely uncomfortable. Either he honors your request and problem solved, or he does not, and then you are justified to deal with it how you see fit. Until you address it respectfully, you should STFU.

(I'm a dog lover AND I agree with your general stance, all psychosis and perversions on your part aside, but you can't expect the whole world to see things through your eyes. Right, wrong or indifferent there are people out there who believe that dogs are man's best friend, and don't see this as an assult.)

Mainly because you are such a damn freak, this post is indeed funny. I'm sorry to say.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

trogdor said:


> I'm going to "mind read" as you put it.
> 
> The reason you posted this thread and the horrible topic was because you wanted sympathy. By saying your were assulated you are saying I'm a victim. And you were looking for pity from the people here because you probably read other threads were people support the biker who was attacked or ran in to a dog. Rather everyone basically flamed you for taking something that means nothing other than a dog checking you out and tried to turn it in to a horrible crime. It didn't happen get over it.
> 
> ...


If a man grabs a woman's crotch, that is sexual assault. I do not see how that is any worse than a dog shoving it's snout into my crotch. I think that dog owners who allow their dogs to do such things should be ashamed.

Further, your mind reading is wrong. That is why mind reading is not an acceptable practice. You are crediting me with some intentions that I did have and then lecturing me on what exists only in your own mind. That is the problem with mind reading.

An acceptable alternative would be to ask me why I posted in the first place and then respond to what I have to say.

I am trying to convey a message that dog owners are responsible for their dogs and the actions of their dogs. There are many people in society that do not own dogs, and do not want the own dogs. These people are not required to learn how to handle dogs and deal with dogs directly. It is up to the owner to control the dog, and prevent confrontations between their dog and other people, where the other people are left to their own resources to deal with the dog. Some people, do not want to deal directly with a dog, and do not want to be left to confront a dog on it's terms.

These situations typically require some dominance or friend/foe identification B.S. Many people do not want to get involved in dominance or friend/foe B.S. with a dog. I feel perfectly justified in objecting to dog owners who put me in that position due to neglect of their responsibility.

Further, even if the dog is not threatening, it's behavior can be offensive.

I do not want some dog shoving it's snout in my crotch, jumping up on me, slobbering on me, or prodding me to pat it. I want it to leave me alone and go about it's business.

I do not want some dog coming up to me and acting threatening, unless I display behavior patterns that it enjoys with it's owner, and so I seem like a friend.

I do not want to have to pretend to a dog, that I like it and want to play with it, so it won't bite me. I do not feel I should have to prostitute myself to a dog.

I expect the owner of the dog to control the animal and prevent such occurances. I do not want to be left to deal with someone's dog on it's terms.

Let us make a small analogy. Let us substitute alligators for dogs. If I choose to have an alligator as a pet, I am sure people will not want it charging up to them suddenly, getting in there faces, in a threatening manner, demanding of them that they act friendly or suffer the consequences. I am sure people would not want an alligator shoving its snout into their crotch, or slobbering on them.

Perhaps, you would like someone's pet tarantulla climbing all over you? What if someone decides that a scorpion is a part of the family and expects you to allow it crawl on you?

Many people see dogs as these loavable wonderful creatures. Not everyone feels the same way. If you bring a dog, you have to recongnize this, and act responsibly. A dog that is harmelss and friendly to family and friends, can seem gentle and harmless, but can be very vicious and threatening to everyone else.

I cannot count the number of times some dog owner has acted incredulous when confronted about theirs dog's vicuous behavior. I have heard it time and again. My dog wouldn't hurt a fly. My dog is gentle and friendly. The fact is, that just about any dog can be vicious to strange people. Those strange people do not want a threatening dog confronting them.

I have some friends who have dogs. They are very well behaved with me, and they typically are satisfied with smelling my hand to identify me, and they will usually hang out, doing their own thing, without bothering me. These owners are responsible and have well trained and well mannered dogs.

Even so, I still end up having to pretend to like the dog, when I could care less about it, put up with the odd dog slobber, or give in and pat the thing, because it won't stop bugging me until I do.

I am willing to tolerate this, since they are my friends' dogs, and they consider them a part of their families. They tolerate my cat, which basically doesn't bother anybody anyway, and I tolerate their dogs, to a point. I am sure none of them have any emotional attachment to my cat, and do not really feel compelled to act freindly with it. They are usually grateful that it keeps to itself, and ignore it.

I am not willing to tolerate any dog shoving its snout in my crotch. I don't care whose dog it is. Even if it is a friend's dog.

I have yet to suffer a dog trying to hump my leg, and a grateful for that. I would prefer to never have to endure such a disgusting experience.

If you are a dog owner, it is up to you to prevent all such situations. It is not up to other people to deal with your dog directly. It is your dog and your choice to bring it into a setting filled with people. If you did not bring the dog, then no one would have to deal with it. It is up to you to take responsibility for your actions and control your dog. The dog is not an autonomous member of society, with which others must deal directly. I expect to deal with you and for you to control your dog.

I consider a dog going into my crotch to be a sexual assault, quite simply because, I am not a dog, and I do not have a dog's view of things. I am not a dog owner or dog lover, and I have no intention of trying to take a dog's point of view. I will continue to uphold a human perspective, that my crotch and sex organ are personal and that space is not to be unduly violated by any person or animal.

Since you have read my explanation of how I view a dog owner's responsibility, you can then see that I feel the dog owner is responsible for the dog's actions. Anything offensive or threatening that a dog does, in my estimation, is done by the owner, since the owner has failed to control the animal or has approved of it's beahvior.

Consequently, when a dog sticks its nose in my crotch I feel justified in charging the owner with sexual assault.

It is not like the dog must do this. Like I said, I have friends who have dogs that do not do this. If they try, the owner will call them off right away and scold the dog. These are responsible dog owners.

If an owner does not control his dog and allows it to act in such an offensive manner, it is my contention that he is guilty of the offense perpetrated by their dog.

Now, while I do not expect any sympathy. I find it surprising that there is little agreement, by others, on this issue.

Now I will speculate on some mind reading, but not trageted at any single individual, or designed to offend any individual.

My guess is that I am getting mostly responses from dog owners and/or dog lovers, who seem to feel that I must adopt a dog's point of view, and learn to handle dogs, because they like dogs, and do not want to consider the point of view of other people, who don't care much about dogs. I am inclinde to think this, since one person told me basically to shut up and go get a dog.

The message becomes, "I am unwilling to consider the point of view of other people who are not dog people, but I expect those same people to consider the point of view of an animal, my dog, and indeed interact directly with the dog on it's terms."

I contend that this position is indefensible, and irresponsible.

These people seem unwilling to make the effort to control and train their dogs to behave, or they do not seem to feel that dog owners need to do this. Perhaps, that seems like too much work. Perhaps, they want to have some creature worshipping them like a god, and do not want to take the responsibility that goes with it.

There was some advice about "cover your junk" with hands.

Unfortnately, this brings to mind one of the Iraqi prison abuse pictures, of a standing naked prisoner, covering his "junk" with both hands, while being confronted by some soldiers armed with two german sheppards.

So, this advice does not make me feel very comforted. This advice puts me in the position of that prisoner, not naked, but unarmed, and confronted by dogs, covering my "junk". At least the dogs in the prison were on a leash.

There was one dog trainer who explained that she trains dogs to stay out of people's crotches. Thank god! That seems to me to be very responsible and sensible.

old_dude


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

TrailRiddler said:


> ok... the overt sexualization of this man/dog encounter is seriously disturbing. The way you're choosing your words to color the situation should throw up some red flags to anyone reading. I'd be more worried about keeping kids away from you than the dogs.
> 
> Either that or this is just a cry for attention by a ...


Ahh! So you admit to being disturbed.

old_dude


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## What&son (Jan 13, 2004)

*I´m sure you couldn´t work here...*

could you?


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Blue Shorts said:


> YOu specifically said (typed) that the guy reached out and touched you. I don't care what you said later in the text........You lied to make us feel indignant.
> 
> I now feel indignant. Are you happy? Only I feel that way towards you for lying.
> 
> ...


You are angry, because I manipulated your emotional response. Understandable. Your objection is duly noted.

However, it was my intention to manipulate your emotional response, so I cannot say that it was accidental. I have seen many posts here with tites that are very misleading, so I cannot be accused of doing something that is not common on these boards.

Did you get angry, when the "More Girls in Spandex" post showed only distant shadows on a big rock? That post lied too.

It is quite common for post titles to be sensational and even some of the preliminary text, only to turn out differently in the end. I am just playing by the same rules Dude.

old_dude


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## smiley (Jan 22, 2004)

*lol*

Try taking a shower before the walk,

The dog is smellin somethin....

evrything happens for a reason...

or as Nelson would say

HA HA


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## Mr. T (Jun 3, 2004)

old_dude said:


> Yes, I have a problem. Negligent dog owners.
> 
> Talk is cheap.
> 
> ...


Damn old chump, you talk tough for a punk who jus let a dog siff up all in his $hit.
Too bad mah Van is getting a new red strip painted on it, cuz it sounds like you need a big slap wif one-a mah gold chains foo!

Sounds to the T like you wuz so scared of them dogs that you were fraid to even cover your balls. I say you jus a chump ass panzie. Hell, prolly didnt even have nothin to protect, $hit looks to the T like you got no ball any way.

Sucka!

Stay off them drugs kids, listen to yo parents!!!!

OH DAMN! The T almost forgot...

STAY IN SCHOOL!!!!


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## trogdor (May 23, 2004)

old_dude I read your post in the women's forum about your wife (God love her) and this one is following in the exact same pattern. You post something hoping that people will agree with you, when they don't you jump on the defensive and only dig a deeper hole. 


My advice would to be to grow up and stop playing the victim cause nothing happened to you. Next time a dog tries to be friendly, let it sniff your hand, or maybe you should let it sniff your crotch, atleast if it attacks it will do the world a favor and prevent your genes from spreading.

Personally I think you got aroused from the dog sniffing and now when you try to make sweet sweet love to your wife, you think about the dog and turn in to a mr. softy


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## Mr. T (Jun 3, 2004)

trogdor said:


> softy


YEAH SUCKA!


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

Hello, Police, my name is Old_Dude and I want to file a couple of complaints. First, I want you to arrest my neighbor because his dog sniffed my crotch. Second, there are these guys on MTBR that are reading my mind and I want you to make them stop. Hello, are you there? Hello? Hey honey, is the phone working okay? Every time I call all I hear is hysterical laughter on the other end.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*Thanks...*



laotsu42 said:


> and that is from a dog owner ...
> i usually keep my own dog in check but if i am not it is ok to let me know ...if some one dosen't think you are right to be offended then ditch em ...


I now regret that I did not object verbally to the owner. My wife said the same thing. Why didn't you just say something to the guy? You are both right, as is everyone who said the same thing.

The whole situation was just so weird. People always call their dogs to heel when they see you approach. This was a new experience for me. I am not accustomed to someone leaving me to my own devices to deal with their strange and vicious looking dogs.

When one started to get physical, I was not ready to deal with it.

I expect to see this guy and his dogs again, and will be better prepared to deal with it next time.

old_dude


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## TJ. (Jan 12, 2004)

*Greasy porkchop loin lotion for sale.*

I have a case of greasy porkchop loin lotion for sale. For some reason at the alternative lifestyle convention last spring it didn't sell. I also have BBQ chamois cream if you are interested. Maybe I'll try e-bay on the loin lotion sales.

TJ.
www.gvii.net/hundtoft


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

laotsu42 said:


> you must have a hell of a time in public ... just imagine if you have to scratch your boys on the trail ...you'll be there for at least 5 min's ...you can't hang out with kids either ...they have no sense of what is right or wrong and have no idea what
> those parts do and will gladly hit you there and laugh ....


If I scratch my own boys, they are not being violated. There is no unwelcome touching.

If you are implying something else, go practice what you are preaching.

I would not compare children to dogs.

In any case, I do not hang out with young kids. That would be Michael Jackson. I hang with my adult friends, but their kids are often around.

I deliberately avoid being alone with, or touching other people's young kids. I also avoid being touched by them. If they come at me, I dodge.

The kids learn quickly that we will only communicate verbally. No touching. They seem alright with that limitation, which suites me fine.

My friend's young daughter once asked me to show her my bedroom. Forget that. I called my wife and her mother over, and asked them to take care of it. I leave no opportunities for unfounded accusations or ugly suspicions. It seems the sensible thing to do.

old_dude


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## stinkydub (Apr 26, 2004)

*Amazing*

 Day old thread
158 replies (159 now)
3,429 views
Old_Dude, I hope you can maintain this stamina with your wife...


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

old_dude said:


> I deliberately avoid being alone with, or touching other people's young kids. I also avoid being touched by them. If they come at me, I dodge.
> 
> The kids learn quickly that we will only communicate verbally. No touching. They seem alright with that limitation, which suites me fine.
> 
> ...


Boy you really could make a shrink rich. You remind me of that quote from Tin Cup, "Don't you know he hates children and dogs." I hope for societies sake that you don' have any children. Considering your issues, does your wife have to ask before she can approach or touch you?


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## mtbykr (Feb 4, 2004)

*Mr T is my hero!*

Mr T is my hero!

anyway:

Old-Dude this is obviously a desperate cry for attention--it looks to me like you were just looking for a lame way to bring up a controvercial subject (who knows mabey you were a victim in the past -- (with a human mind you!) and just needed to talk about it.---ok i'm done playing frasier now) The other day my daughter (who is 18 months old and 19lbs) ran up to someone and put her hands and started tapping them on the person so that they would pick her up. Now because of her height she got this person in the crotch--so with your diluted mindset i should look out because if that was you,both her and myself (she's my daughter and i control and train her) would be looking at sexual assault charges.

a good riding friend of mine is a dog trainer (mostly german sheperds) and has placed in the national's and world's with sheutzen (spelling is way off) Shepards are amoung the smartest dogs in the world -- and next time if you don't want it to happen, then don't stop to talk to the guy and act as if everything is ok!

do yourself a favor and get some real help--besides this isn't the place!


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## wg (Dec 20, 2003)

"Here's your sign"

Perfect.
Thanks to all of you for one of the most bizarre and hilarious threads in a long time. Had people walking past my office wondering what all the suppressed laughter was about. Nearly wiped out my screen with coffee.
Need to fill another cup so I can keep reading


Werner


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## Locoman (Jan 12, 2004)

YOU HAVE TO READ THIS. .................. Actually you don't. Just wanted to add to the meaningless posts.


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## tl1 (Dec 21, 2003)

Now THAT was funny!


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## Dirdir (Jan 23, 2004)

*Please*



old_dude said:
 

> In any case, I do not hang out with young kids. That would be Michael Jackson. I hang with my adult friends, but their kids are often around.
> 
> I deliberately avoid being alone with, or touching other people's young kids. I also avoid being touched by them. If they come at me, I dodge.
> 
> ...


Please don't have children and lock your crotch away in the basement when you encounter anything breathing.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

bmateo said:


> My question: What was your "dick" doing out in the first place?
> 
> You have every right to not accept this behavior, and certainly don't have to be subjected to it, but I am sorry, if you sat there and took it then you have no right to whine either.
> 
> ...


Well my dick was not out. I don't think I should even have to say that, but if you are under that impression, then I need to set you straight.

Further, I did not just take it. I spent a few seconds shoving a dogs snout away from my crotch repeatedly, expecting this guy to call off his dog. I am accustomed to responsible dog owners who do call off their dogs, before you even get up to them.

Once, I realized he wasn't going to call off his dog, I quickly made my exit.

In retrospect, I regret not saying something to the guy about his dogs. I was on unfamiliar territory, fending off a dog while this guy distracted me with small talk. In fact, I started the small talk, when his dogs came at me. I expected the guy to call his dogs off, once he acknowledged me. He just started talking back and left the dogs to have at me.

I did not really know how to react to the situation. I will be better prepared next time. Next time, I will not start by saying, "Hello". The next time I will start by asking, "Will you please control your dogs?"

However, you are right, I should have said something to him.

Unlike you, I am not a dog lover or a dog owner, and I do not share your view of the world. I do not know dog handling methods, or dog behavior. I do not feel that I have to learn these things. I feel it is up to the dog owner to deal with their dog. I do not feel that I should be expected to deal with a strange dog by myself, while the dog owner stands and watches.

I do not care what behavior dogs go through in greeting each other. I am not a dog. I do not feel that I should be made to endure or fend off some dog ritual. My sex organ is my personal territory and a dog has not business anyhwere near it. In my world view any unwelcome touching of my sex organ is sexual abuse. I make no allowances for dog rituals.

You are accusing me of perversion, because I do not want a dog to have at my crotch, and consider it a sexual assault.

If you are willling to allow a dog to shove its snout into your crotch, in my view, you are the pervert.

My claim seems much better founded. You are the one who is willing to accept some animal probing you private parts. I am into hetero-human only, amongst consenting adults.

On the one hand you are telling me, that as a dog owner I cannot expect you to see things through my eyes, but you expect me to start seeing things through your eyes.

If you try to see things through my eyes, all you have to do is keep your dog under control, because shoving it's snout into peoples crotches can be very offensive to some people. That seems very reasonable to me.

If I see things through your eyes, I am then required to allow a dog to have at my crotch?

Dude! Think about it. I don't want to see things through your eyes, if that is the result.

How about I keep a pet snake, and you can let it slither all over your crotch, because I tell you that is how it says hello and gets to know you.

old_dude


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## Cooter. (Apr 14, 2004)

A question, were you overly sheltered and protected as a child? Homeschooled in a puritan home maybe? Here's what you need to do. Next time you're out on a hike/bike ride, simply wear crotchless leather zip up panties and smear your balls with peanut butter, then zip them up. After that, put on a pastel yellow ballet tutu with strapless shoulders and nipple tassles, top this off with a viking helmet, dayglo green thigh high panty hose and SPD compatible Wizard of Oz ruby shoes. The next time you see the felonious pervert owner, and cock gobbling dog, walk up to them, unzip your leather panties and bend over and start licking the peanut butter off. When you're done, stand up, and taunt the dog that he didn't get to terrorize you this time, then advance towards the owner and calmly explain to him that you're going to call the police because obviously the dog hurt your feelings this time because the wouldn't come near you and help you with the task of licking your sticky sack off


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## bmateo (Jan 13, 2004)

old_dude said:


> ...
> 
> Unlike you, I am not a dog lover or a dog owner, and I do not share your view of the world. I do not know dog handling methods, or dog behavior. I do not feel that I have to learn these things. I feel it is up to the dog owner to deal with their dog. I do not feel that I should be expected to deal with a strange dog by myself, while the dog owner stands and watches.
> 
> ...


First, I am only even replying because this has become the sole entertainment of my workday....

1. You do not read. I did not share my view of the world with you, so you don't know what the fck your talking about....

2. I agreed with you, and said you are justified to not accept that behavior (and then gave what I thought to be constructive tips on how to handle it next time, which you seemed to agree with0

3. I did view the world through your eyes, and offered a definite compashion (sp?) for your situation (after taking a slam on you with the dick comment, I have to admit....). I did NOT say you had to accept other peoples world, but I will reitterate that you have to understand that there are different schools of thought out there than yours. NO, you should not willingly accept dog nose in the crotch, but if you think that because YOU think it is not OK that nobody else in the world will ever put you in that postion you are wrong my friend. Just like we all have ideas of how people should control their children, yet we hopefully don't drive ourselves nuts when others are too controlling, or not controlling enough.

Why do I care enough to even repy (other than the entertainment factor)? Because it is close minded people like you that are screwing our world up. That's why. I don't care if you are talking about dogs, politics, religion, or monkey sex, the fact is that the world is (and I thank God!!!!) full of all kinds of different people. Some I like, some I don't, but I get through this crazy life just a little better knowing that they're out there in all shapes and forms, and it is not my job to take the world on by myself, and IT IS IN MY BEST INTEREST TO WORK THE BALANCE OF SPEAKING UP FOR MYSELF AND LOOKING OUT FOR WHAT IS BEST FOR ME AGAINST THE FACT THAT I MUST TREAT EVERY OTHER HUMAN WITH RESPECT.

That is all people are trying to say, no matter what side of ANY issue you are on, people that can't empithize with others make this world a harsher place.

Thank you old dude for helping me to realize how lucky I am!


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

Trust us, we don't want to see the world through your eyes.


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## Shannon-UT (Mar 26, 2004)

You can only speculate what the dog owner was thinking (i.e. trying to distract you with small talk while his dogs sexually assaulted you as some kind of power trip to make up for his short stature). But you will never really know why his dogs weren't restrained. I wouldn't try to analyze it too much or even assume too much either. Mr. Dog Owner could be an pervert, but we weren't there and we don't know him and we aren't in his head.

How do you know he's not talking about you, his crazy biking neighbor dude that likes pushing his dogs around? That's what happens when people assume.

You DO however, know what to do the next time something like this happens, like you have mentioned previously.

You'll just get blue in the face trying to persuade the public how dog sniffing equals sexual assault. You can't change the public's understanding of dog nature, and the public can't change your view.

Perhaps you did turn on a light bulb (in a very weird way and perhaps your main motive for this post) some dog owners' minds to pay attention to how their dogs interact with others. I will be more conscious to on the trail with my puppy, for I know there are some people out there that may pepper spray  me if little Gina gets to happy to see someone! 

I do admit that it's kind of weird that you dogde little children coming at you for fear of them touching you in a non-appropriate way, yet you *don't * compare children and dogs (both trained/in control by other humans), but *do * compare dogs sniffing other mammals (not just men) with men grabbing women's crotches; and wonder why one is understood (I mean undestood by many, not tolerated or acceptable) and the other is not.

Excuse me, I'm going home to let my puppy out for a potty break...


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## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

That one did me in. I'm actually crying I'm laughing so hard.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

trogdor said:


> old_dude I read your post in the women's forum about your wife (God love her) and this one is following in the exact same pattern. You post something hoping that people will agree with you, when they don't you jump on the defensive and only dig a deeper hole.
> 
> My advice would to be to grow up and stop playing the victim cause nothing happened to you. Next time a dog tries to be friendly, let it sniff your hand, or maybe you should let it sniff your crotch, atleast if it attacks it will do the world a favor and prevent your genes from spreading.
> 
> Personally I think you got aroused from the dog sniffing and now when you try to make sweet sweet love to your wife, you think about the dog and turn in to a mr. softy


Yes it is following the same pattern of ignorant people, responding with abusive [email protected] to a reasonable concern.

Almost every post I read here in response, is full of insults and abusive [email protected] That includes the one you wrote.

I am not playing any victim flickup. I am dealing with the lot of you all at once, blow for blow. All you have to do is right your pathetic mindless drivel, and run for cover you perverted twerp.

The fact is, I am dealing with a bunch of people who think an animal in their crotch in OK, and I am being told that I am a pervert because I don't want an animal in my crotch.

It is pretty clear to me that anyone who accepts an animal in their crotch is the obvious pervert. I am not interested in sharing your beastial perversion.

I don't mind a dog sniffing my hand. My crotch is off limits to dogs.

My advice to you is to see a shrink and find out why you like dogs in your crotch. I think you are coming out of the closet and letting everyone know you are into beastiality.

You want to toss insults and abusive crap, I can play too.

old_dude


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## Tdiddy (Apr 28, 2004)

I will never think of the words "Doggie Style" the same again.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

*So are you the real Mr T.*



Mr. T said:


> YEAH SUCKA!


Or some pathethic loser, who has no personality and has to steal someone elses, SUCKA?

old_dude


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## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*God, I can't believe I am perpetuating this mess*

but here goes.

Where in all this is your responsability? Could you not step two feet in any direction (assuming the mutts were on a leash)? If not, there is no harm or disrespect in using your hand/knee or whatever to divert the dogs from your junk.
I have a friend whos Golden Retreiver heads for my James almost every time he sees me, It's a dog thing. I politely yet firmly divert his advances and think nothing of it. Does it give me a boner?, no. Do I consider it sexual advances via proxy?, It's a dog for Christ's sake. c'mom. 
In all due respect, you have issues.

Lastly, WTF does any of this have to do with mountain biking?


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## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

Personally, I think dog owners should follow the lead of my avatar. Put your dog's head in a bubble - that way, these sort of atrocities don't happen.

Come on 200 replies!!!! Almost there!


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## trogdor (May 23, 2004)

After reading your post my inital plan was to respond in the same immature manner in which you responded to me. Then I was reminded of a quote.

"Never argue with a moron, they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience."


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Dirdir said:


> Please don't have children and lock your crotch away in the basement when you encounter anything breathing.


Well what do you say to something so warm and friendly as that? Boy you really know how to make someone feel good. I should just take your well thought out advice to heart.

Get stuffed a$$hole.

old_dude


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## Cooter. (Apr 14, 2004)

old_dude said:


> Get stuffed a$$hole.
> 
> old_dude


*AHEM*

I think you're the one with the "stuffed a$$hole" there buddy, why would anyone want to get the way you are?


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## Dr.Faustus (Jan 9, 2004)

*T.f.f.*

Too [email protected] Funny!


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## COmtbiker12 (Jan 12, 2004)

old_dude said:


> Well my dick was not out. I don't think I should even have to say that, but if you are under that impression, then I need to set you straight.
> 
> Further, I did not just take it. I spent a few seconds shoving a dogs snout away from my crotch repeatedly, expecting this guy to call off his dog. I am accustomed to responsible dog owners who do call off their dogs, before you even get up to them.
> 
> ...


Wow...this is a long thread, lol. Old_dude, while I can see where you think that this would be offensive and invasive you should also look at it through another perspective. Dogs are not humans, they do not have similar cultures and values like we do. If you think about it, what is it other than culture over time that has us wear clothes and all that stuff? Perhaps for a dog it is customary to sniff that area to greet other dogs. Therefore, how can you blame the dog owner or even the dog for sexual assault when the dog was really doing what it does based off of instincts? Yeayea, the dog owner could have trained him not to but the fact is just because the dog sniffs you a bit doesnt mean he's trying to bite your balls off or anything like that. I personally would just knock the dog's muzzle so it would stop. If that didnt work I would confront the owner. The fact is, you took this situation as you were the victim of a violent act when really it was probably a big misunderstanding. You should have atleast asked the owner if he could have done something. Because afterall, the dogs probably didnt realize it was offensive to you and werent trying to get jollies off of sniffing you. And the owner probably didnt realize you were having a problem with it as he was having a conversation with you and probably wasnt thinking about what his dogs were doing.


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## forkboy (Apr 20, 2004)

*The same thing happened to me...*

I was at home watching a porno the other night, and before I knew it, my hand was sexually assaulting me!

I tried to get away, but it kept following me everywhere I went. I couldn't get more than three feet away from it!


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## Dr.Faustus (Jan 9, 2004)

*Be Afraid.*

Be Very Afraid!


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## catzilla (Jan 31, 2004)

Between that picture and the entirety of this thread, I think I'm gonna have to go get me some Extra Crunchy Peter Pan and a German Shepard...


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## ions (Jun 8, 2004)

L M F A O!!!!!!

Sexual assault! 

/me gasps uncontrollabley for air during a massive fit of hysterical laughter!

Geez, were you just unpacked out of a box?! 

LOOOOOOL!

You come across as either a looney or a person who hates dogs that's willing to heap the biggest pile in order to rationalize your fear/mistrust of dogs. I'm gonna go pet my GSD, she may lick my arm so I'm gonna dial 9 & 1 on the phone and that way I can quickly dial 1 again and call the police if she does and report this disgusting assault immediately. LMFAO!


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## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*A dog humped my leg once*

when I was a kid. I am such a whore. Anybody know a good counselor?


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Shannon-UT said:


> You can only speculate what the dog owner was thinking (i.e. trying to distract you with small talk while his dogs sexually assaulted you as some kind of power trip to make up for his short stature). But you will never really know why his dogs weren't restrained. I wouldn't try to analyze it too much or even assume too much either. Mr. Dog Owner could be an pervert, but we weren't there and we don't know him and we aren't in his head.
> 
> How do you know he's not talking about you, his crazy biking neighbor dude that likes pushing his dogs around? That's what happens when people assume.
> 
> ...


Well, I am glad that you intend to control your dog. Most people do. In my experience most people call their dog to heel, whenever they see someone else approaching, and may even connect a leash, if the dog lacks self control, until that person has passed. It is unfortunate that some dog owners are not as responsible. Perhaps if everyone could show such responsibility leash laws would be unnecessary.

I do question your motives. It seems sad to me that you only do this, because you are afraid you will get pepper sprayed, instead of genuine concern for the rights and sensibilities of others.

I do not dodge CHILDREN when they come at me, for fear of them touching me in an inapproriate way. I dodge OTHER PEOPLE's CHILDREN coming at me, to keep them from touching me at all. I attempt to keep things on a strictly verbal level and totally avoid any physical touching, for fear of some idiot trying to accuse me of child abuse, at some later date.

I began this practice, when I coached my kids' soccer teams.

I have no compulsion to touch little childen or have them touch me. Verbal communication is just fine. I understand them. They understand me. We get along quite well.

old_dude


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## jbmoocow (Dec 30, 2003)

*Anyone notice old-doofus' b-day is apr 1?*

Don't know if that means he's pulling our leg or if he's pre-dispositioned to being a fool, but listening to him b!tch and moan like he just got thrown off the SPCA Bang Bus sure is entertaining. 
Hey, old man, next time you find yourself being lured into an unwelcome menage a trois (headache, period, etc.) with your canine lovers, try regaling them with your thesis on clips vs. clipless (sorry, _mini-clips_). That should guarantee that every living thing within 50 yds will run for its life or play dead, hoping that you'll eventually crawl back under your rock. If that doesn't work, petition the Pres. or the Queen to ban all hikers who bring four-legged, sexually deprived weapons of mass destruction with them on the trail so that overbearing, sexually repressed ninnies can have the trail all to themselves, thereby avoiding any user conflicts with anybody or anything that might pierce the plastic bubble you live in.


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

CDMC said:


> Hello, Police, my name is Old_Dude and I want to file a couple of complaints. First, I want you to arrest my neighbor because his dog sniffed my crotch. Second, there are these guys on MTBR that are reading my mind and I want you to make them stop. Hello, are you there? Hello? Hey honey, is the phone working okay? Every time I call all I hear is hysterical laughter on the other end.


Hello, 1-900-dogs. My handle name is CDMC. Do you have a nice attractive Irish Setter today? I really need a nice attractive Irish Setter, with long flowing tresses. I need it to get it's nose right up in my crotch, and rub around really good. It is the only way I can get my rocks off.

Yes CDMC, I have my Irish Setter right here with me. He is running to you now, he is saving his nose in your crotch. Oh baby!


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## Shannon-UT (Mar 26, 2004)

old_dude said:


> Well, I am glad that you intend to control your dog. Most people do. In my experience most people call their dog to heel, whenever they see someone else approaching, and may even connect a leash, if the dog lacks self control, until that person has passed. It is unfortunate that some dog owners are not as responsible. Perhaps if everyone could show such responsibility leash laws would be unnecessary.
> 
> I do question your motives. It seems sad to me that you only do this, because you are afraid you will get pepper sprayed, instead of genuine concern for the rights and sensibilities of others.
> 
> ...


I want to own a well behaved dog, old_dude. I don't like jittery out of control dogs. To avoid being pepper sprayed is not my only reason for wanting to control my dog! It just never crossed my mind that my cute little puppy possibly could anger someone in the world so much to this extent like this. So you don't have to be sad for me and my motives.

You dogde other people's children as you said in #159, to have them avoid touching you at all, wouldn't that include inappropriately too?


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

CDMC said:


> Hello, Police, my name is Old_Dude and I want to file a couple of complaints. First, I want you to arrest my neighbor because his dog sniffed my crotch. Second, there are these guys on MTBR that are reading my mind and I want you to make them stop. Hello, are you there? Hello? Hey honey, is the phone working okay? Every time I call all I hear is hysterical laughter on the other end.


Hello 1-900-dogs. My name is CDMC. I need a really cute Irish Setter with long flowing tresses today. I need it to shove its nose right up in my crotch and rub around real good. It is the only way I can get my rocks off.


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## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

old_dude said:


> Hello, 1-900-dogs. My handle name is CDMC. Do you have a nice attractive Irish Setter today? I really need a nice attractive Irish Setter, with long flowing tresses. I need it to get it's nose right up in my crotch, and rub around really good. It is the only way I can get my rocks off.
> 
> Yes CDMC, I have my Irish Setter right here with me. He is running to you now, he is saving his nose in your crotch. Oh baby!


You quote all these little rules, and then engage in them yourself.

Funny, didn't he accuse people of mind reading earlier? I love how he quotes all his little rules for discussion from his wankery self-help books as if somehow they're a valid criticism of what's going on. You said us bringing up your earlier behavior was gunny sacking, I think was the term, when in fact it was just illustration of a pattern of behavior that people need to be made aware of. If a dog makes a habit of sniffing crotches you may want to warn the weak men that their crotches will be sniffed, and save them the trouble of posting it to mtbrand crying about it.

You're what a good friend of mine would call a soft man. You've bought into the whole demasculinization of men concept that the 60s brought us and so lack any real manhood yourself. Your only value as a person exists as a warning to others. I have this feeling that you're also determined to have the last word because somehow in your warped little view of the world, you think you're right. You'll continue posting defense of your idiotic assertions, ad nauseum, forever and ever, amen.

Dogs sniff crotches, it's not attack or sexual, the only two choices you could figure out, it's communication. That's how dogs identify eachother. It's fine that you don't want your crotch sniffed, but it's not sexual. Your continued insistence that it is indicates some repressed sexual feelings on the matter. And unlike you, I didn't get my training in psychology from some self-help book or watching Dr. Phil, I went to school for it, so save your annoying little armchair analysis for your wife and the other wankers in your life who don't know any better.


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## TrailRiddler (Feb 23, 2004)

*Have You Seen This Dog?*

*WANTED​**Have you seen this dog?*​







*CRIMES*
3 Counts of first degree crotch sniffing.
2 Counts of misdemeanor leg humping.
15 Counts of public pooping.
And generally just being a "Bad Dog"

*WARNING*
The assailant is considered to be dangerous and extremely slobbery! The assailant will usually trick victims into approaching by rolling over and "presenting tummy", after which, when the victim approaches, the assailaint will aggressively "crotch sniff" the victim untill satisfied. EXERCISE EXTREME CAUTION. Proper defense when attacked include the nose tap, "bacon bits", or baby talk in a high pitched voice.​


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

trogdor said:


> After reading your post my inital plan was to respond in the same immature manner in which you responded to me. Then I was reminded of a quote.
> 
> "Never argue with a moron, they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience."


Well let's see.

You are so frigg'n stupid that even when you try to be rational and civil you can't help being an abusive a$$hole.

First you call me immature. Then you call me a moron.

I would like to point out that anyone here who responds in a civil manner has been getting a civil response. I have only been abusive and insulting to those, who chose to be abusive and insulting to me first. So , if you want to talk about responding in an immature manner, I think you would be well advised to look at your own posts first, idiot.

Even now, if you can find a way to discuss in a civil manner you will get a civil response. It is all the same to me. I can exchange insults and abuse with you for as long as you care to continue.

You are only gettng back what you are giving out. And that goes for everyone.

I am quite prepared to be very civil. In fact I am accustomed to civil and rational discussion. This exchanging insults and abuse it very new to me.

It seems that some people here are only capable of communicatin in that manner.

So, I guess I am trying to speak your language.

old_dude


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## mudpuppy (Feb 7, 2004)

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..................................................

Thats great.......


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## bluronthetrails (Apr 25, 2004)

*look Old-Dude*

This thread seems to have moved onto some sort of ultra-tangental arguments far from the solution for the problem...

Old-Dude, I believe it is a correct inference from your posts that you did NOT enjoy the crotch-sniffing which you believe to be sexual assault committed by the dog owner by proxy of his big bad junk sniffing German shephards.....ok, now:

If I were in your shoes I'd go to the dog owner and politely tell him that he be far more aware of his dogs' actions in the future so as to avoid more money-loving victims of his dogs' sexual assaults who muight sue him.....tell him how you feel....it just might be the case that the owner actually had no idea what effect the dogs were having on you.....so go ahead and speak to him...If it gets to the point that the owner doesn't give a shiz what you think, then go to animal-control services and report the dog owner for negligence in control of his dogs in public....


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Cooter. said:


> *AHEM*
> 
> I think you're the one with the "stuffed a$$hole" there buddy, why would anyone want to get the way you are?


Well if you were actually capable of thinking, that might mean something.

The way I am is quite fine. I am not into beastiality like you, who wants dogs to rub your "junk".

----------------------------------------------------
Once again, I will point out that all insults and abuse posted by me are in response to abuse and insults I have received. That includes you. If you don't like me insulting you, don't insult me, stupid.

I am quite prepared to be civil, with anyone who responds in a civil manner. As long as you feel inclined to be abusive and insulting, I can send it back.

old_dude


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## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

old_dude said:


> Well if you were actually capable of thinking, that might mean something.
> 
> The way I am is quite fine. I am not into beastiality like you, who wants dogs to rub your "junk".
> 
> old_dude


Dude - since you have been so good to point out faulty arguments & reasoning here, let me make sure I've got this straight -

If anyone diagrees with / questions your position on this, it must mean they are inclined to beastiality, and have hidden desires along that line. Right?

Well - that's just sheer brilliance.

Did I get the 200th reply?

GF


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## catzilla (Jan 31, 2004)

old_dude said:


> If you don't like me insulting you, don't insult me, stupid.


Whatever, boogerhead.


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## catzilla (Jan 31, 2004)

gofarther said:


> Did I get the 200th reply?


Nope.

Your Avatar.








Is your dog wagging it's tale, or is it trying to sexually assault me by proxy of the internet?


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## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*Damn!!!!!!!!*

I wanted to be 200


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## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

catzilla said:


> Nope.
> 
> Your Avatar.
> 
> ...


Please note the assault-preventing bubble.

I'm a responsible dog owner.


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## wg (Dec 20, 2003)

*I thought happened more recently than that.....*










Just struck me as funny.

Werner


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## trogdor (May 23, 2004)

Shot of old_dude's early childhood


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## AZClydesdale (Jan 12, 2004)

*quickie suggestion:*

If you are unable to escape from a K-9 sexually assault, imagine a 'safe' mental place until the dog is finished. Also, the more you can 'help the dog along' at this point the quicker your ordeal will be over. Good luck



old_dude said:


> ...I have a dog trying to ram his nose into my crotch unrelentingly. My crotch is my private territory, which I share with my wife. No dog has any business in there. If a dog is going after my sex organ, I consider that either threatening or sexual in nature. Since, the dog did not seem like it was about to bite me there, that leaves sexual, since it's out to touch and smell.


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

My dog just got done reading this thread and he said that he understands why those German Shepards don't like old_dude. He's a complete wacko. 

P.S. My dog said to give you this picture of him to help you sleep at night. BTW, he is trained to not sniff crotches, but to bite the dick's off of people like you that stick their crotch in his face.


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## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

CDMC said:


> My dog just got done reading this thread and he said that he understands why those German Shepards don't like old_dude. He's a complete wacko.
> 
> P.S. My dog said to give you this picture of him to help you sleep at night. BTW, he is trained to not sniff crotches, but to bite the dick's off of people like you that stick their crotch in his face.


Cute dog.


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

He's a sweethart, but believes very strongly in personal property rights.


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## Mr. T (Jun 3, 2004)

mtbykr said:


> Mr T is my hero!
> 
> anyway:
> 
> ...


The T Loves his fans... and the kids!


----------



## wg (Dec 20, 2003)

Nice bone there!
My big golden was also quite protective over his whenever he was gnawing it it. (I trained him out of that phase).

Werner


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## Mr. T (Jun 3, 2004)

Cooter. said:


> A question, were you overly sheltered and protected as a child? Homeschooled in a puritan home maybe? Here's what you need to do. Next time you're out on a hike/bike ride, simply wear crotchless leather zip up panties and smear your balls with peanut butter, then zip them up. After that, put on a pastel yellow ballet tutu with strapless shoulders and nipple tassles, top this off with a viking helmet, dayglo green thigh high panty hose and SPD compatible Wizard of Oz ruby shoes. The next time you see the felonious pervert owner, and cock gobbling dog, walk up to them, unzip your leather panties and bend over and start licking the peanut butter off. When you're done, stand up, and taunt the dog that he didn't get to terrorize you this time, then advance towards the owner and calmly explain to him that you're going to call the police because obviously the dog hurt your feelings this time because the wouldn't come near you and help you with the task of licking your sticky sack off


Damn that wuz nasty tha T might hafta throw up. Thanks alot sucka!
Still, Old Chump should take yo advice just cuz, it so crazy it just might work!

YEAH FOO!


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## toad (Jan 29, 2004)

Dude, your soooo old, and crotchety (he he). Relax some, maybe you secretly have feelings for these dogs you are uncomfortable with . . . canine-phobe? By the way, I can't believe your serious, at first I thought your thread was an atempt at some kinda wierd humor. -t


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## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

Hey, my dog just came up to me and wagged her tail! What a b:tch!!! 

Hey, I can't use the word *****! What the **** is up with that? How am I supposed to talk about my dog now?


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## george_da_trog (Jul 1, 2003)

I don't know what the big deal is. When the wife's away all I need is my dog and a jar of peanut butter.

george


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## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

Bikehigh said:


> Hey, my dog just came up to me and wagged her tail! What a b:tch!!!


Just look at her. Trouble with a capital T! She's obviously got nothing but sex on her mind.


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## dirttorpedo (Jan 13, 2004)

*What is sexual assault?*

Personally I hold that a persistent dog snout in the crotch is offensive and that any owner who does not attempt to control their pet should it have this unfortunate tendency is inconsiderate at a minumum - but is it "sexual assualt"? I thought it might be interesting to look at what is generally considered "Sexual Assault" out there in the big old world and compare it to the poster's statement. I googled sexual assault + definition and here are two I came up with - both US examples. The first is a policy statement and the other a summary of state law.

According to Texas A&M University Student Rules, sexual assault/rape is defined as:

&#8230; the oral, anal, or vaginal penetration by a sexual organ of another or anal/vaginal penetration by any means against the victim's will or without his/her consent. An individual who is mentally incapacitated , unconscious, or unaware that the sexual assault is occurring is considered unable to give consent. The type of force employed may involve physical violence or force, coercion, intentional impairment of an individual's ability to appraise the situation through the administering of any substance, or threat of harm to the victim (Rule 24.3.4.1).

The following offers definitions of the varying degrees of sexual assault.

I also found this one which states that "According to New York State statutes, sexual assault is defined in various degrees. However, the basic summary is as follows:

Rape is the perpetuation of an act of sexual intercourse with a person against her will and consent, whether her will is overcome by force or fear resulting from the threat of force, or by drugs administered without consent or when, because of mental deficiency she is incapable of giving consent or when she is below the arbitrary age of consent.

In other words, the term "rape" is used when penetration is involved, even slight penetration, and even if no ejaculation occurs. Also note that the threat of force is sufficient - many women report fearing for their lives even when their attacker is not carrying a weapon.

New York State law does recognize that a married woman can be raped by her husband. Marriage does not necessarily imply consent.

Rape in the first degree is defined as above, and the age of consent is eleven (11).

Rape in the second degree is not defined by consent. Rather, when one person is over 18 and the other is less than 14 years of age, the State defined any sexual intercourse between them as rape.

Rape in the third degree is similarly defined. Here, one person is over 21 and the other is less than 17 years of age.

Sexual Abuse is also defined in three degrees, according to the same system as rape. However, the difference is that penetration is not required. Rather, all that is required is "sexual contact" - touching of intimate or sexual parts, either directly or through clothing.

Therefore, sexual abuse in the first degree is roughly defined as sexual contact by force or threat of force, or when the individual is incapable of consenting due to mental deficiency, or when the individual is below age 11.

Sodomy is the third major term, and is also defined in three degrees. This term is used when the assault involves penetration to areas other than the vagina (e.g. rectum).

Based on the latter summary of New York law the poster's experience at worse could be characterized as "sexual abuse". Can a dog sexually abuse a person? Interesting question. Is a dog owner guilty of sexual abuse if the dog makes sexual contact. Does the the dog(s) constitute force? It would make for an intersting episode of "Law and Order".


----------



## SueB (Mar 16, 2004)

*I have a dog*

she's all fluffy. I just wanted to get in on all this fun. Wow, this has been one of the best reads ever....ROFLMAO


----------



## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

dirttorpedoI thought it might be interesting to look at what is generally considered "Sexual Assault" out there in the big old world and compare it to the poster's statement.[/QUOTE said:


> Dude, this is not a serious topic, don't make it one. BTW, it doesn't meet the definition of sexual abuse, even in new york, little problem with mens rea.


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## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

I don't think it was an assault, The dog was just copping a feel.


----------



## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

CDMC said:


> dirttorpedoI thought it might be interesting to look at what is generally considered "Sexual Assault" out there in the big old world and compare it to the poster's statement.[/QUOTE said:
> 
> 
> > Dude, this is not a serious topic, don't make it one. BTW, it doesn't meet the definition of sexual abuse, even in new york, little problem with mens rea.
> ...


----------



## ejb (Jun 9, 2004)

That's why they call them man's best friend.


----------



## undystain (Jun 10, 2004)

old_dude said:


> I have been sexually assaulted on the trail, by some guy walking his two german shepards. I know the guy and I can't do anything about it. He is a neighbour, and I even know his address.
> 
> At the time I was hiking and not riding. We encounter each other headed in the opposite directions. We stopped to chat and he started reaching for my crouch and even succeeded in touching it a few times. This was inspite of my best efforts to shove him away with both hands repeatedly during the conversation.
> 
> ...


I can sympathize with you to a degree having been bitten by several dogs whilst cycling. I've read this thread and a lot of the responses. What I am curiuos to know is:
Have you contacted the owner of the dogs and voiced your concerns
have you contacted the authorities
have you contacted your lawyer

What I am wondering is what you have done about the situation other than ***** about it on the internet. Thank you for your time.


----------



## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

*Lol*



 Cooter. said:


> A question, were you overly sheltered and protected as a child? Homeschooled in a puritan home maybe? Here's what you need to do. Next time you're out on a hike/bike ride, simply wear crotchless leather zip up panties and smear your balls with peanut butter, then zip them up. After that, put on a pastel yellow ballet tutu with strapless shoulders and nipple tassles, top this off with a viking helmet, dayglo green thigh high panty hose and SPD compatible Wizard of Oz ruby shoes. The next time you see the felonious pervert owner, and cock gobbling dog, walk up to them, unzip your leather panties and bend over and start licking the peanut butter off. When you're done, stand up, and taunt the dog that he didn't get to terrorize you this time, then advance towards the owner and calmly explain to him that you're going to call the police because obviously the dog hurt your feelings this time because the wouldn't come near you and help you with the task of licking your sticky sack off


i laughed so hard ...hehe ...that is one of the best responses yet ...
i was hopping you would jump in on this and i wasn't dissapointed ...go cooter ...


----------



## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

undystain said:


> I can sympathize with you to a degree having been bitten by several dogs whilst cycling. I've read this thread and a lot of the responses. What I am curiuos to know is:
> Have you contacted the owner of the dogs and voiced your concerns
> have you contacted the authorities
> have you contacted your lawyer
> ...


Mrs. Old_Dude? Is that you?


----------



## TheSherpa (Jan 15, 2004)

undystain said:


> I can sympathize with you to a degree having been bitten by several dogs whilst cycling. I've read this thread and a lot of the responses. What I am curiuos to know is:
> Have you contacted the owner of the dogs and voiced your concerns
> have you contacted the authorities
> have you contacted your lawyer
> ...


Trolls are coming out of the walls for this thread  . And anyone who takes this olddude seriously probably needs psychiatric help as well.

-TS


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## TheSherpa (Jan 15, 2004)

Bikehigh said:


> Mrs. Old_Dude? Is that you?


Check his I.P. address

-TS


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## undystain (Jun 10, 2004)

old dude is clearly not cool enough to be from north van n00bs.


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## Darkan (Mar 20, 2004)

*Not Again!!!*

So there I was...just riding along and minding my own business, and along comes another rider with a dog.

Oh man! ...Just the way that dog was learing at me was creepy. It went way beyond friendly eye contact. The dog was clearly undressing me with it's eyes, and you KNOW that given the chance, he would have rammed his snout right into my crotch. Sicko!

It was male dog...so I guess that would make him gay. Not that it matters, since at this point, we know that ALL dogs are perverts.

I feel so violated. I don't know what I will do if another dog ever looks at me again. Maybe start a new post.


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## undystain (Jun 10, 2004)

mudpuppy frequently nuzzles his head in my "crouch"


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## Duzitall (Feb 4, 2004)

230 posts, I have tears in my eyes.

Thanks old-dud you're flipping halarious. What a great thread you invented. Some of you other guys are funnier than shlt too!

Chris

P.S. the wifes on vacation, can I borrow the dog?


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## mudpuppy (Feb 7, 2004)

Your "Crouch".....LOL. ****.......all this time I thought it was your crotch...damn, gotta say though....could you wash your balls....they are getting a bit stinky. Thanks.


----------



## Gnarlygig (Jan 27, 2004)

*This is sounding strangely similar to the guy's story about...*

...waking up (after napping trailside or something) and being attacked by 2 fat gay guys, one wearing a Porche T shirt.

All I can say is, maybe there's a need for a Gary Springerish shock forum for these posts, complete with obese, shirt tossing, illiterates throwing tantrums caught on video!


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## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

dirttorpedo said:


> victim (Rule 24.3.4.1).
> 
> Rape in the first degree is defined as above, and the age of consent is eleven (11).
> 
> ...


What if the dog was under age?

Old Dude may be guilty of statutory dog rape.


----------



## mergs (Feb 14, 2004)

Sorry for the double post, but hey, we're approaching a record here for longest thread, eh?


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## mergs (Feb 14, 2004)

I'm still waiting for the punch line. Or is there one?


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## bmateo (Jan 13, 2004)

Darkwing Duck said:


> What if the dog was under age?
> 
> Old Dude may be guilty of statutory dog rape.


I hate to get Old Dude's back, but in this case, if the dog was at least 3 years old, it would be 21 in dog years.

I did once see a suspect doberman at a nudie-bar. I figured her to be around 1.5 years, which is only 10.5 in dog years. I guess it was alright, as she had that bikini that Dobermans usually wear.....

Shoot, if the dog was like 10, then ODD_Dude would be guilty of having a "mature" fetish.

This thread is worse than a train wreck. As much as everyone hates it, nobody can look the other way


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## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

bmateo said:


> This thread is worse than a train wreck. As much as everyone hates it, nobody can look the other way


Morbid curiousity, same reason Springer is so succesful.


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## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

Just got in. Is this thread still alive??? That's ridiculous. I refuse to contribute any further.

......

.......

Ah screw it. "Hey look - it's a


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## Tracerboy (Oct 13, 2002)

*so was i...*

every time i sit on my saddle, it touches my balls and sometimes my pee pee.
i hate it, but put up with it because it knows where i live...we're actually neighbors.


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## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*If John Holmes had a Dog*

He'd look something like this:


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## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*Here's one caught in the act*

From the upcoming (no pun intended) movie "Dogs Gone Wild, Spring Break"


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## striker (Jan 12, 2004)

*Old_dude, you are not alone*

There is actually a website for this stuff

http://www.baddogs.com/bdc/viewstory.cfm?storyid=3127
http://www.baddogs.com/bdc/viewstory.cfm?storyid=3127

Seems Old_dude could be on to something here?

If the owner of the dog was a girl, would things be different? Would you be panting and asking for the leash instead of feeling violated?


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## TheSherpa (Jan 15, 2004)

Must KEEEEEEEEP thread going.

-TS


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## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*As you wish,*

Maybe old dude is on to a social ill that hasn't been exploited yet:


----------



## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

TheSherpa said:


> Must KEEEEEEEEP thread going.
> 
> -TS


Charging 300 - CLEAR!!!!!


----------



## sumguy1 (Jan 13, 2004)

*Ok. Im going to admit something here...*

I actually like it when dogs do this. I will go so far as to spread my legs a little when a curious dog is near. And when I am lucky enough to have an amorous dog hump my leg, well, I'm in heaven.

Are there more like me out there??!!!!


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## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

sumguy1 said:


> I actually like it when dogs do this. I will go so far as to spread my legs a little when a curious dog is near. And when I am lucky enough to have an amorous dog hump my leg, well, I'm in heaven.
> 
> Are there more like me out there??!!!!


No - sicko.

Commence flaming.


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## bluronthetrails (Apr 25, 2004)

*Wow*

You guys have set the record for most posts (mine is #248 i believe) on a thread!!!!!! Lets go for 300 everyone! Oh gosh I think I'm going sarcastic again...ok on a serious note, I think that maybe Old Dude has figured out what the wants to do now....


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

gofarther said:


> Dude - since you have been so good to point out faulty arguments & reasoning here, let me make sure I've got this straight -
> 
> If anyone diagrees with / questions your position on this, it must mean they are inclined to beastiality, and have hidden desires along that line. Right?
> 
> ...


Wrong.

The fact is that I really have no desire to insult anyone. I had a previous similar experience with an abusive and insulting group, on the women's lounge, and I tried to ignore the insults and abuse, that they cast at me continuously, and discuss the issue in a civil manner. It did not help. In the end I made a final post with some insults for the lot and swore never to return. At that point, I turned over a new leaf, and I figure that if anyone is going to insult me. They are fair game.

I hand out insults and abuse only to those who are insulting and abusing me. Rational arguments, devoid of insults and abuse, warrant a rational and civil response, also devoid of insults and abuse. They get it.

If someone seems to be rational for much of their post, but embeds insult and abuse, the gloves are off. I really don't care how rational you think you are being. In the end the insult and abuse are the message.

I respond, with insults and abuse, on a post by post basis. Previous posts are not considered. If people do not like it, then they should learn to treat others in the same manner they expect to be treated. They only have themselve to blame. You cannot expect to take shots at someone freely. If you start a fight, be prepared to receive payback.

If someone is going to start calling me a pervert, tell me I enjoy a dog rubbing my dick, or questioning my sexual behavior with children, call me old_lady, old_dork, etc, or say "right on" to someone else who posts insults and abuse. I figure they are fair game for any insult I care to throw at them, and they deserve it. No free shots my friend. I shoot back.

My point is very simple, for anyone who wants to engage in a loving relationship with the animal of their choice, it is their business. I really don't care.

However, I do not want to be involved in a threesome, because we chance to meet in public.

These people can keep their love partner to themselves, and keep them away from my crotch. If they don't, I consider that sexual assault.

I do not care if it is a monkey, a snake, a sheep, a dog or whatever, the message is the same.

I do not see why I should excuse offensive behavior, because it is an animal. I am an animal, and no one is going to excuse such behavior, if I do it. If I go up and shove my face in a woman's crotch she will likely call the police. I do not think the police are going to say forget about it, if I tell them, "Wait a minute, I am just an animal and I was just trying to smell what she has going on down there."

I have been trained to restrain myself. If I fail to restrain myself, I will be restrained by those in charge of restraining human animals. If the human animal is an adult, we look to the police to enforce restraint. If the human animal is a child, we look to the parents or guardian to enforce restraint.

Animals must be taught to restrain themselves, and if they do not, or cannot be trained, they must be restrained by their owner.

Anyone who owns and trains an animal, then brings it into a public place is responsible for that animal and its behavior. It is their responsibility to keep it under control and to prevent it from being destructive and/or offensive.

Other people cannot be expected to handle somone else's animal. I would not have a clue of how to handle most animals and deal with their spectrum of unknown behavior.

Dog's are a popular animal, and some dog lovers seem to think that everyone is equipped to deal directly with, and wants to interact with, their animal. This is not the case. There are many people who don't. I would say the most people do not want a dog jumping on them, or slobbering on them.

I would also suggest that most do not really want a dog shoving its snout up their crotches and rooting around in there, for as long as it cares to. These things do not always just sniff. At least some of the time, they ram their snout right in their and rub it around repeatedly until forced out. I do not think that is acceptable. In fact, I believe it is sexual abuse when it is unwanted contact.

The dog may be performing some behavior that the owner deems acceptable, but that does not make it acceptable to everyone. Many people have never owned a dog and/or do not want to own a dog.

I do not own a bull either. How would you feel if someone is a bull lover and brings a bull into a public park? Do you think it is OK for that bull to do whatever it pleases, unsupervised? Do you want to be left on your own devices to deal with a bull that is confronting you? How about a lion or tiger? Do you want a bull charging at you, shoving its nose in your crotch, and rooting around until force to get out?

If I am visiting someone at their own home, I still expect my person to be respected. Entering someone's home does not make you a free target. When a woman enters somone's home, that does not give the homeowner the freedom to engage in unwanted touching. I expect the same kind of respect.

Further, some animal owners appear to feel that the animal's freedom to run and act freely is more important that the rights of other people. They seem to feel that their animal can go around and offend, scare, and/or destroy at will, because they are so in love with the animal, that they do not care what it does to others and/or their property. They're judgment is clouded by this love for their animal, and they dismiss the transgressions as minor and in consequential. They may even deny an animals transgression when confronted. "My dog would never do that. He is such a nice and well behaved dog."

In such cases, the system of the animal owner controlling their animal breaks down. We then need receptive human authorities, police, to charge such people with the offenses committed by their animal.

These people have no right to get their jollies in a manner that inflicts grief on others. If they want to enjoy a loving relationship with their animal, they cannot be allowed to do so in manner that rampages through the lives of other people.

People who are not prepared to accept the responsiblity, that goes with animal ownership, should not own animals.

A well trained and good natured dog with proper self restraint may run free and offend no one. This does not mean that any dog can be left to run free under the same circumstances. A dog that lacks that training, good nature, and self restraint must be controlled.

This seems simple enough to me. I do not see how I warrant a steady barrage of abuse and insults, because I hold this position.

old_dude


----------



## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

*The gloves are off?*

What that really means is that you'll type up another half page of fuel for us to use against you. Not that I want you to, but you really should learn when to shut the hell up. But please, continue. You obviously enjoy making a fool of yourself.

We're moving on to new heights here, and I can only imagine the fun that's yet to come.


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*#250*

Sex in the workplace


----------



## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

You've missed my point.

The problem I have is that you are unwilling to accept that someone may not share your viewpoint - even when they do so in a logical, civil, manner.

I for one do not believe that a dog sniffing your crotch constitutes sexual assault by proxy.

When others on this thread have expressed a similar sentiment, you have responded along the lines of:

that must mean you like having a dog play with your dick.

Wrong. It means they disagree with your assessment of the situation.

If you are unwilling to accept that people will disagree with you, I wouldn't suggest discussing things in public forums.

GF


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## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*Dang!*

Missed #250


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*Coming soon*

to a crotch near you


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

old_dude said:


> Wrong.
> I had a previous similar experience with an abusive and insulting group, on the women's lounge, and I tried to ignore the insults and abuse, that they cast at me continuously
> old_dude


Mommy, Mommy, the girls keep beating me up. OMG, you are such a pu*sy.


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Bikehigh said:


> What that really means is that you'll type up another half page of fuel for us to use against you. Not that I want you to, but you really should learn when to shut the hell up. But please, continue. You obviously enjoy making a fool of yourself.
> 
> We're moving on to new heights here, and I can only imagine the fun that's yet to come.


If that is the best answer you can muster, then I suggest that you learn to shut the hell up. You are only demonstrating your inability to contribute anything constructive.

You have not made one rational argument on the topic. You have not pointed out any error in my logic.

All you are doing is demonstrating meaningless attitude.

old_dude


----------



## Locoman (Jan 12, 2004)

*Give me a break Troll..*



old_dude said:


> Your post appears to me, to scream. look at me, I am trying to think, but it's not working, maybe if I had a brain.
> 
> old_dude


Give me a break Troll. Your response is sooo pitiful. To give you some credit, your original post that started this thread is masterful Troll work.

Keep on Trolling, probably the most attention you've received in a long time.


----------



## stinkydub (Apr 26, 2004)

*Let's keep it up*

I want it to continue just so I can see more "Dogs Gone Bad Photos". Please post more


----------



## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

old_dude said:


> You have not made one rational argument on the topic. You have not pointed out any error in my logic.


Your logic is perfect. The premises you're basing your logic on though are complete crap. You can have a valid but untrue argument if your premises are false. Validity only lies in the structure of the logic, not on the truth of the premises. The premise that a dog sniffing your privates is sexual harrasment is false. It's predicated on the idea that the owner derives some sort of satisfaction from it (mind reading)(false). OR it is predicated on the idea that dogs derive sexual satisfaction from it (false). You're attributing something to the neighbor that may or may not be true, you have no idea. The owner may just be dumb, or inconsiderate, or some other idea that you failed to discover. However, dogs sniffing your crotch is normal behavior for a dog with an inconsiderate owner.

You're a giant flaming panty waist, you know that? You can be completely right and people are still going to make fun of you because you come off as such a titanic dweeb in the way you write stuff. You may think you're as eloquent as Dickens but in reality every time you type you just reaffirm for the rest of the mtbr community that you're a nancy-boy with no spine. The next time your neighbor lets his dogs sniff your crotch, tell him you don't like it, and please please post on here about it so we can laugh our collective butts off.


----------



## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

stinkydub said:


> I want it to continue just so I can see more "Dogs Gone Bad Photos". Please post more


You think a dog sniffing your privates is bad? This guy was just calling someone and a cat ate his car. I hate it when that happens. And punched out by a kangaroo, that's gotta suck. Guess the kanga hates hasselblad cameras.


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## Bikehigh (Jan 14, 2004)

old_dude said:


> If that is the best answer you can muster, then I suggest that you learn to shut the hell up. You are only demonstrating your inability to contribute anything constructive.
> 
> You have not made one rational argument on the topic. You have not pointed out any error in my logic.
> 
> ...


Why on Earth would I make any attempt to treat this as a serious debate, when you obviously only started this topic so you could be made fun of. Why would I argue with a moron? Surely you know the reaction your idiocy will generate, and yet you toss it at the fan anyway. This is not the first time you've gotten a reaction like this, in fact I'll wager you've been getting reactions like those on this topic your entire life. This is how you get attention. You enjoy it. Don't get me worng, I do believe you legitmately posted looking to start a meaningfull conversation, but like countless times before in your life, you failed to think it through. I mean, nobody would seriously post such a load of crap if they'd actually thought things through. The only explanation, is that your need for attention, even negative attention, overrides what little common sense you have, and so I'm happy to give you what you came looking for without knowing it. Abuse. Who but a moron would do this to themselves time after time, and actually expect a different result? Again I won't argue with a moron, and I don't even know why I'm posting this, because I'm sure you won't be able to comprehend what I'm saying as relating to you and your situation. You obviously take yourself way too seriously, and I dread the thought that you might actully choose to speak on behalf of mountian bikers as a whole, as in your ban hikers topic.

Didn't you at least like the picture I posted of my dog? Isn't she cute?


----------



## DH40 (Jan 14, 2004)

OWNED!


Nice one old_dude!

very amusing


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

mward said:


> You quote all these little rules, and then engage in them yourself.
> 
> Funny, didn't he accuse people of mind reading earlier? I love how he quotes all his little rules for discussion from his wankery self-help books as if somehow they're a valid criticism of what's going on. You said us bringing up your earlier behavior was gunny sacking, I think was the term, when in fact it was just illustration of a pattern of behavior that people need to be made aware of. If a dog makes a habit of sniffing crotches you may want to warn the weak men that their crotches will be sniffed, and save them the trouble of posting it to mtbrand crying about it.
> 
> ...


If you punch someone they may tell you that punching them is offensive. That does not preclude them from punching back. At one time I would try to ignore the [email protected], and would try to set a good example. However, I found that this accomplishes nothing. I end up being offended, and the offender walks. Not this time.

I suggest that you may want to warn witless dog owners, that they may be assauted in return, by people acting in self defense. I personally am considering getting a can of pepper spray to deal with such situations. If dogs are not trained to control themselves and owners are unwilling to do so, then they may expect others to act in self defense.

You are what I would call a mindless idiot incapable of of grasping any simple concept of social responsibility and respect for others. You must be posting from jail?

You continue to ignore the salient point. I have restated repeatedly. If you wish to continue the discussion you must address that point, otherwise you are just posting the same drivel over and over ad nausiam. You have nothing of value to say.

That point is:

A dog is just one type of animal that people may own. People, who do not own animals are not required to learn their behavior and do not concern themselves with their behavior, and how to control and interact with them.

I do not own a horse, a snake, a bull, a monkey, a lion, a alligator, an so on. I have no interest in their behavior or how to manage them. I do not care how a horse sees the world and what it's motivations are. I do not care why a cow smells something.

If you wish to bring an animal in to a stituation with other people, you cannot expect those people to change their perspective to suit your animal ownership. It is up to you train your animal to get along with people, not to train people to get along with your animal.

People may accept or reject training as they see fit. Learning about dog behavior and how to manage dogs, is not a requirement for people.

If you want to bring an animal into contact with humans, you are expected to teach the animal self control and if that does not work you are expected to control that animal yourself, and keep it from offending others and doing damage, not on the terms that the animal sees offense or the animal sees damage, but on the terms that the victim sees offense and damage.

Because you are an animal owner and have developed some warped sense of what constitutes offensive behavior, due to your long term association with said animal, does not mean that I am required to do so.

I am not a dog. I am not a dog owner. I am not willing to accept, what I see as offensive
because you tell me it is OK, the dog does not mean it that way.

You are attempting to train me to accept your animal. No thanks. Train your animal to control itself, or you control it. I am not interested in being trained by you.

Dogs do not just sniff. You are dismissing this offensive behavior in an undue manner. A sniff is a brief whiff that ends in an instant, and only involves the dog's sense of smell. A dog will shove its shout right into someone's crotch and keep it there, not for an instant but for a prolonged period during which it will root around with its nose, the whole time rubbing aganst that person's thighs and sex organs. That is not just a sniff. It does not involve just the dog's sense of smell. It involves the person's sense of touch, which is not prevented by clothing. You can still feel it. In addition, this can go on until the dog is forcefully removed, and then it will struggle to get its nose back in there.

That is what we are talking about. Don't give me this just a sniff bull$****.

People have their own behavior and their own sense of dignity. They are not required to adjust their sense of dignity because others chose to bring an animal into the mix.

That is the point you need to address if you wish to convince me that I am wrong.

Instead of addressing the issue, you are attacking me personally instead, hoping I will go away and take the issue with me. This makes you a complete mindless a$$hole. Jerkoff.

old_dude


----------



## pblogic (May 31, 2004)

old_dude said:


> Well what do you say to something so warm and friendly as that? Boy you really know how to make someone feel good. I should just take your well thought out advice to heart.
> 
> Get stuffed a$$hole.
> 
> old_dude


If you are serious about this, and you arent trolling, then stop being a victim and call the police. I have no sympathy for people who wont fight back.


----------



## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

*Just keep posting....*

Just keep posting,
Just keep posting,

What do we do? We post, post, post.


----------



## Al. (Apr 14, 2004)

insert your own caption here:


----------



## bridgerboy (Jan 22, 2004)

*One time.......*

at band camp...I


----------



## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

old_dude said:


> I suggest that you may want to warn witless dog owners, that they may be assauted in return, by people acting in self defense. I personally am considering getting a can of pepper spray to deal with such situations. If dogs are not trained to control themselves and owners are unwilling to do so, then they may expect others to act in self defense.
> 
> You are what I would call a mindless idiot incapable of of grasping any simple concept of social responsibility and respect for others. You must be posting from jail?
> 
> old_dude


So now you are going to get pepper spray and spray the dogs because you are to much of a ***** to simply ask someone to hold their dog!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guess what, your ass will be in jail. You think you were violated by a dog smelling your stinky balls, wait until bubba gets done with you. Are you going to spray the owner also? In most places that qualifies you for felony assault. You have no self defense claim.

BTW, just be prepared because when as soon as you pull out that spray and start spraying, the owner is going to beat the **** out of you. Don't think for a second that because his eyes are stinging that he won't be able to grab you.

Hello Canada, there is a village that has lost its idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*Say hello to my*

little friend.


----------



## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

You are OVERREACTING. It's a dog. Our society has dogs in it, being sniffed by the occasionally is part of living in it. If you don't like it, go live on an island somewhere where there are no dogs. This idea that everyone must work so nobody is offended is stupid. You're one person in a sea of people who don't mind. Yes, you have to change. Sorry, that's just how it is. You're brainwashed by this whole idea of politically correct behavior into thinking you have the right to not be offended, well, too bad. You don't. I hope you pepper spray someone whose dog sniffs you and you get tossed in jail, or the tar beat out of you. Nobody in our society is going to consider assault with pepper spray to be justified by having your crotch sniffed. The very fact that you suggest it shows you're unbalanced and disconnected from reality.

As an aside, I was scrolling up and caught "one time, at band camp" and the pic of the guy with the dog's butt in his face on the same page and spit all over my screen. That, I think, are the best 2 responses yet. LOL!!


----------



## trogdor (May 23, 2004)

Conversation in the old_dude house:

old_dude_son: Dad, how come you've been sitting at the computer for 3 days.

old_dude: Well son, in order for me to stand up I need something called a backbone, and ever since that dog sniffed my crotch, well it seems like my backbone just turned to dust and I can't stand up for myself anymore.

old_dude_son: Wait, a dog sniffed your crotch and you didn't say anything to the owner!?!?! Dad, you need to grow some balls. 

old_dude: Son, your mom had the removed back in 1988, she was tired of me fighting with people when they said I didn't have any balls. She carries them around in her purse

old_dude_son: Damn dad, you're a pathetic little *****. And it smells like you soiled your depends.

old_dude: Please no references to dogs. And can you get the baby wipes and my pacificer.


----------



## mbrmegan (Apr 7, 2004)

*excellent pics1*



mward said:


> You think a dog sniffing your privates is bad? This guy was just calling someone and a cat ate his car. I hate it when that happens. And punched out by a kangaroo, that's gotta suck. Guess the kanga hates hasselblad cameras.


I like the pictures!


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

mward said:


> Your logic is perfect. The premises you're basing your logic on though are complete crap. You can have a valid but untrue argument if your premises are false. Validity only lies in the structure of the logic, not on the truth of the premises. The premise that a dog sniffing your privates is sexual harrasment is false. It's predicated on the idea that the owner derives some sort of satisfaction from it (mind reading)(false). OR it is predicated on the idea that dogs derive sexual satisfaction from it (false). You're attributing something to the neighbor that may or may not be true, you have no idea. The owner may just be dumb, or inconsiderate, or some other idea that you failed to discover. However, dogs sniffing your crotch is normal behavior for a dog with an inconsiderate owner.
> 
> You're a giant flaming panty waist, you know that? You can be completely right and people are still going to make fun of you because you come off as such a titanic dweeb in the way you write stuff. You may think you're as eloquent as Dickens but in reality every time you type you just reaffirm for the rest of the mtbr community that you're a nancy-boy with no spine. The next time your neighbor lets his dogs sniff your crotch, tell him you don't like it, and please please post on here about it so we can laugh our collective butts off.


First, let's make it clear what I am talking about.

Dogs do not just sniff. You are dismissing this offensive behavior in an undue manner. A sniff is a brief whiff that ends in an instant, and only involves the dog's sense of smell. A dog will shove its shout right into someone's crotch and keep it there, not for an instant but for a prolonged period during which it will root around with its nose, the whole time rubbing against that person's thighs and sex organs. That is not just a sniff. It does not involve just the dog's sense of smell. It involves the person's sense of touch, which is not prevented by clothing. You can still feel it. In addition, this can go on until the dog is forcefully removed, and then it will struggle to get its nose back in there.

That is what we are talking about. Don't give me this just a sniff bull$****.

You contention that this is all OK makes you a freaking dog's lover. I bet you like it.

Now to your post:

Well you started off OK, addressing the argument, but you could not resist being a snivelling ***** in the end.

I would contend that your premise is wrong. You are describing the offense in terms of the offender, not from the perspective of the victim.

That does not fly stupid.

If I think it is OK to steal, that does not make it OK.

Because, your sense of right and wrong is warped by long term association with an animal, does not mean that I must also adopt you warped view.

It is the responsibility of an animal owner, to train the animal self control in the presence of people and not to try to train people to accept the animal's world view.

old_dude


----------



## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

sniv·el ( P ) Pronunciation Key (snvl)
To sniffle. 
To complain or whine tearfully. 

Only one person around here snivelling, and it ain't me.


----------



## MikeG (Oct 1, 2002)

*You might find this product helpfull ...*

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----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

toad said:


> Dude, your soooo old, and crotchety (he he). Relax some, maybe you secretly have feelings for these dogs you are uncomfortable with . . . canine-phobe? By the way, I can't believe your serious, at first I thought your thread was an atempt at some kinda wierd humor. -t


Let us be clear about what I am addressing, since you treat it so lightly.

Dogs do not just sniff. You are dismissing this offensive behavior in an undue manner. A sniff is a brief whiff that ends in an instant, and only involves the dog's sense of smell. A dog will shove its shout right into someone's crotch and keep it there, not for an instant but for a prolonged period during which it will root around with its nose, the whole time rubbing against that person's thighs and sex organs. That is not just a sniff. It does not involve just the dog's sense of smell. If involves the person's sense of touch, which is not prevented by clothing. You can still feel it. In addition, this can go on until the dog is forcefully removed, and then it will struggle to get its nose back in there.

That is what we are talking about.

If you think that is OK, then I expect that you are a dog's lover and actually enjoy it.

old_dude


----------



## Dektol (Mar 2, 2004)

*old dude's birthdate*

Has any body checked the old dude's stated birthday on his profile?


----------



## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

He's not even writing new rebuttals anymore. Just pasting the same old crap. It's like a tide commercial, except with a huge dork and cock-sniffing dog instead. Over and over and over.


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Cooter. said:


> A question, were you overly sheltered and protected as a child? Homeschooled in a puritan home maybe? Here's what you need to do. Next time you're out on a hike/bike ride, simply wear crotchless leather zip up panties and smear your balls with peanut butter, then zip them up. After that, put on a pastel yellow ballet tutu with strapless shoulders and nipple tassles, top this off with a viking helmet, dayglo green thigh high panty hose and SPD compatible Wizard of Oz ruby shoes. The next time you see the felonious pervert owner, and cock gobbling dog, walk up to them, unzip your leather panties and bend over and start licking the peanut butter off. When you're done, stand up, and taunt the dog that he didn't get to terrorize you this time, then advance towards the owner and calmly explain to him that you're going to call the police because obviously the dog hurt your feelings this time because the wouldn't come near you and help you with the task of licking your sticky sack off


Let us be clear on what I am discussing.

Dogs do not just sniff. You are dismissing this offensive behavior in an undue manner. A sniff is a brief whiff that ends in an instant, and only involves the dog's sense of smell. A dog will shove its shout right into someone's crotch and keep it there, not for an instant but for a prolonged period during which it will root around with its nose, the whole time rubbing against that person's thighs and sex organs. That is not just a sniff. It does not involve just the dog's sense of smell. It involves the person's sense of touch, which is not prevented by clothing. You can still feel it. In addition, this can go on until the dog is forcefully removed, and then it will struggle to get its nose back in there.

That is what we are talking about.

Now to your perverted snivelling wimpy gay post, which comes from a loser with the same qualities.

Question. How often do you engage in sex with dogs? Did your parents tie you to the bed so the dog could have at you?

Here's what you need to do. Find a really big dog, dress in a nice lacey baby doll, lay on the ground, put your head under it and suck it's dick.

Next you should find a really big horse and suck it's dick.

Then go and tell all your friends what you did. Tell them how you like sex with animals.

old_dude


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*Gotta watch out for the sheep*

People give dogs the bad rap, where do you think they learned their stuff?


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

mward said:


> sniv·el ( P ) Pronunciation Key (snvl)
> To sniffle.
> To complain or whine tearfully.
> 
> Only one person around here snivelling, and it ain't me.


Well I could perform the same kind of analysis of your meaningless insults, but what is the point. I did not come here to be diverted. I am not interested in changing the topic and arguing the merrits of various insults.

You make insults I insult you back. Your insults do not actully apply to my circumstances, why should mine have to apply to yours?

The point is that you are attacking me personally instead of dealing with the topic in a civil and rational manner.

You attack me. I attack you, and so on, and so on, and so on...

The fact is that you have nothing to contribute but mindless personal offensive BS.

At the end of the day all you have is attitude, and that attitude is worthless.

old_dude


----------



## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

Don't forget my complete collection of Darkwing Duck Comic Books. Those are not worthless! I still have those at the end of the day!


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*Eewwww*



old_dude
Here's what you need to do. Find a really big dog said:


> That's nasty


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

trogdor said:


> Conversation in the old_dude house:
> 
> old_dude_son: Dad, how come you've been sitting at the computer for 3 days.
> 
> ...


Let us be clear on what I am discussing.

Dogs do not just sniff. You are dismissing this offensive behavior in an undue manner. A sniff is a brief whiff that ends in an instant, and only involves the dog's sense of smell. A dog will shove its shout right into someone's crotch and keep it there, not for an instant but for a prolonged period during which it will root around with its nose, the whole time rubbing against that person's thighs and sex organs. That is not just a sniff. It does not involve just the dog's sense of smell. It involves the person's sense of touch, which is not prevented by clothing. You can still feel it. In addition, this can go on until the dog is forcefully removed, and then it will struggle to get its nose back in there.

That is what we are talking about.

You continued insistance on insulting me and not addressing the issue, indicates that you approve and indeed enjoy such behavior. That makes you a dog's lover.

Conversation in the trogdor hovel:

Son, when you finshes screwing your sister, your mom has fished getting screwed by the dog, so it is your turn. Let me know when you are finished because I'm next.

By the way, your cousin is pregnant. Anyone know whose it is and if it is human?

old_dude


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*I bet we can get 300 by 4:00*

Getting to know you


----------



## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

old_dude said:


> indicates that you approve and indeed enjoy such behavior. That make you a dog's lover.
> 
> Conversation in the trogdor hovel:
> 
> ...


After reading your last 2 posts, I am now completely convinced that you need help.

I think you have repressed sexual urges that you feel guilty and shameful about, and this forum has allowed you to talk about them indirectly by projecting your own urges onto others.

You've been able to talk about sex with dogs, incest, and more - all while standing behind a facade of disgust.

Well guess what? I'm calling you on it.

Re-read what you wrote above. No one in their right mind writes that kind of thing.

If you really are in Canada - stay the hell away from me.


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

mward said:


> Don't forget my complete collection of Darkwing Duck Comic Books. Those are not worthless! I still have those at the end of the day!


At last, someone recognizes fine literature for what it's worth. You sir, have exceptional taste.


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

I smell stinky crotch, c'mon give it to me, you know you want to.


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

gofarther said:


> You've missed my point.
> 
> The problem I have is that you are unwilling to accept that someone may not share your viewpoint - even when they do so in a logical, civil, manner.
> 
> ...


One more time.

Let us be clear on what I am discussing.

Dogs do not just sniff. You are dismissing this offensive behavior in an undue manner. A sniff is a brief whiff that ends in an instant, and only involves the dog's sense of smell. A dog will shove its shout right into someone's crotch and keep it there, not for an instant but for a prolonged period during which it will root around with its nose, the whole time rubbing against that person's thighs and sex organs. That is not just a sniff. It does not involve just the dog's sense of smell. It involves the person's sense of touch, which is not prevented by clothing. You can still feel it. In addition, this can go on until the dog is forcefully removed, and then it will struggle to get its nose back in there.

That is what we are talking about.

My insults have only been in response to insults. People may try to express an honest opinion. I have no quams about accepting sincere civil input. Anyone who has responded in a civil and rational manner devoid of insult and abuse has received a civil and rational response. I suggest you go and examine all the posts if you do not believe me.

The fact is that this discussion has been mostly populated by ignorant and offensive individuals, who are incapable of civil and rational input, and for whom their first recourse is personal attack. Even if they manage to muster some sense of reason they still cannot do so without adding in the personal attacks.

When the input is accompanied by personal attack, insult and abuse. I return the same. You don't get a free shot, because it is accompanied by an opinion.

Try expressing the opinion without the abusive [email protected]

I really have no desire to insult anyone, other than to respond to their insults in kind.

If you cannot post without accepting, that your personal attacks will be countered with equally offensive personal attacks. Then I suggest that you refrain from posting in public forums.

old_dude


----------



## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

Darkwing Duck said:


> At last, someone recognizes fine literature for what it's worth. You sir, have exceptional taste.


Thank you, ever so much.

Doing my part to hit 300 before 4 pm CST.


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

Momma!


----------



## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh, and I'm a cat owner, actually.


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*Yo Quiero*

stinky crotch mi amor


----------



## DrGlen51 (Mar 4, 2004)

gofarther said:


> OK people - re-read the post please!
> 
> 'The Guy' didn't touch him!!!!! For those with vocabulary issues, "by proxy" means he did it through someone else. Who? His dogs.
> 
> ...


The first part of his paragraph says the guy reached out and touched his crocth, twice. So he said the guy toulched him. Then later he brings up the by proxy thing. The post is not very clear. Then he claims to let the dogs put their snouts in his crotch while he continues to stand there.

It doesn't ring true to me or the guy is a lousy communicator. If it's just about the dogs all you need to do is keep turning sideways. If that doesn't work back up from the guy and the leashed dogs. If that doesn't work speak up!

Franklly I think the guy has some kind of compulsive thing about not liking dogs.


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*Wtf*

are you laughing at?


----------



## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

*Ray Charles has died*

Dang did you guys hear? I just heard the news. That sucks. I bet ol' Ray wasn't afraid of dogs.


----------



## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

Must!


----------



## mward (Apr 7, 2004)

hit 300!


----------



## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

DrGlen51 said:


> The first part of his paragraph says the guy reached out and touched his crocth, twice. So he said the guy toulched him. Then later he brings up the by proxy thing. The post is not very clear. Then he claims to let the dogs put their snouts in his crotch while he continues to stand there.
> 
> It doesn't ring true to me or the guy is a lousy communicator. If it's just about the dogs all you need to do is keep turning sideways. If that doesn't work back up from the guy and the leashed dogs. If that doesn't work speak up!
> 
> Franklly I think the guy has some kind of compulsive thing about not liking dogs.


Welcome Doctor.

You're about 2 days, and 200 posts behind. When you catch up, feel free to chime in again.

Cheers.

GF


----------



## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

*300*

:d :d :d


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

Does Mr T have a Dog?


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

CDMC said:


> Boy you really could make a shrink rich. You remind me of that quote from Tin Cup, "Don't you know he hates children and dogs." I hope for societies sake that you don' have any children. Considering your issues, does your wife have to ask before she can approach or touch you?


So, all you have is more personal attacks.

I am having a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. I might as well be talking to a dog, for all the comprehension and reasoning you are displaying.

Maybe that is the problem. Maybe you have have hung out with dogs so long that you have become one mentally, and even see the world through a dog's eyes.

Now there is some real fertile ground for a shrink. He could probably right a textbook on you.

Let us be clear on what I am discussing.

Dogs do not just sniff. You are dismissing this offensive behavior in an undue manner. A sniff is a brief whiff that ends in an instant, and only involves the dog's sense of smell. A dog will shove its shout right into someone's crotch and keep it there, not for an instant but for a prolonged period during which it will root around with its nose, the whole time rubbing against that person's thighs and sex organs. That is not just a sniff. It does not involve just the dog's sense of smell. It involves the person's sense of touch, which is not prevented by clothing. You can still feel it. In addition, this can go on until the dog is forcefully removed, and then it will struggle to get its nose back in there.

That is what we are talking about.

So you approve of this, do you? You allow dogs to do this to you? Do you actually push the dog away, or do you wait until it decides it is finished? Do you shove its nose back in just to make sure you get every moment of pleasure?

old_dude


----------



## gofarther (Mar 2, 2004)

old_dude said:


> I am having a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
> 
> old_dude


No -

You came to a battle of wits unarmed.


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*Damn*



mward said:


> Dang did you guys hear? I just heard the news. That sucks. I bet ol' Ray wasn't afraid of dogs.


He was ok. My wife turned me on to his music a while back.


----------



## jbmoocow (Dec 30, 2003)

*Dang! Why didn't someone wake me up!*



old_dude said:


> I hand out insults and abuse only to those who are insulting and abusing me.
> 
> Am I too late for the abuse? I didn't get any yesterday. That's not fair.
> 
> ...


----------



## bmateo (Jan 13, 2004)

*Ray Charles*



mward said:


> Dang did you guys hear? I just heard the news. That sucks. I bet ol' Ray wasn't afraid of dogs.


That does suck, I just went over to CNN to read about it, and I came accross this story about communicating with dogs:
http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/06/10/dog.language.ap/index.html

This thread has totally wacked out my perspective, I almost fell over when they started comparing communicating with dogs and communicating with Children...

To Dog one: "Sit" 
To Dog Two: "Roll Over" 
To Son: "Son, bring me the remote and get your nose outta my ballz..."


----------



## bmateo (Jan 13, 2004)

old_dude said:


> I am having a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. I might as well be talking to a dog, for all the comprehension and reasoning you are displaying.
> 
> old_dude


Read the article, it might help:

http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/06/10/dog.language.ap/index.html


----------



## DrGlen51 (Mar 4, 2004)

TROLL!



old_dude said:


> The touching was done by the dog. It was the dog thrusting it's snout repeatedly at my private parts. Since the dog is under the "control" of the owner, I say I am being sexually assaulted by the owner, by way of the dog, by proxy through the dog.
> 
> I could see a dog by nature heading in that direction, they like to shove their noses right up in there by nature, but the owner should be quick to restrain the dog or call it off. This owner did neither, I was left to try to fend the dog off by myself while the a$$hole tried to carry on small talk, like he was being friendly. I actually think he was enjoying some sick sense of power, watching my discomfort and my difficulty in dealling with it. Acting friendly was just a ruse to get his sick kicks.
> 
> ...


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

andy f said:


> Despite your explainations, I still don't understand why you didn't simply ask the dog owner to restrain his animals. You have attributed motives to your neighbor that seem highly unlikely (i.e. he was using his dogs to assert dominance over you). Chances are he's just accustomed to his dogs' behavior and was oblivious to the fact that it bothered you. I'd wager that asking politely would have done the trick.


Yes. You are quite right. I should have said something to him, and the next time I encounter him and his dogs, I will.

I don't know what dog owners are like elsewhere, but the dog owners around here are for the most part quite responsible. If they see you coming, they call their dog to heel and may hold the dog's collar or attach a leash if the dog does not show self restraint.

I expected as much from this guy. I even said hello to the guy to get him to acknowledge my presence, in case somehow he was lost in thought and did not see me. That did not help. I can only say that I was unprepared to fend off his dog, listen to him talk and try to come up with some rational analysis and response, all at the same time. Once, I realized he was not going to call off his dog, I made a quick exit.

I was quite angry and upset afterwards, and it took me some time to sort through what had happened and understand what specifially was different about this encounter, compared to other encounters with dogs and their owners.

The critical difference was that his dogs had no self restraint, and he did not step in to control them. He left me to my own devices to deal with two threatening german sheppards.

Now that I have a clear definition of the issue, I can give him clear and rational verbal feedback.

Yes, I did attribute some nasty qualities to this guy. I could well be wrong. I will find out more, when I encounter him again and challenge his behavior. His responses should give me a better idea of what he is up to.

old_dude


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

C'mere you little bastard, I'll teach you to stick your nose in my crotch and fondle my boys. Gimme my F#%king pants back you son of a ....wait that won't work... you Fking mongrel!!!


----------



## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

old_dude said:


> Now that I have a clear definition of the issue, I can give him clear and rational verbal feedback.
> 
> old_dude


 Now this if the funniest thing you have said.


----------



## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

Last thing your boys see before being violated


----------



## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

CDMC said:


> Hint, if you call the cops and they laugh it is probably a sign that you are a whack job.
> 
> The second quote is hilarious. I can see you meeting people and saying "Excuse me but do you think it is okay for dogs to sniff your crotch." Who cares about the answer, the look on their face must be priceless. Have you checked with your (alleged) friends to make sure they feel the same as you about dog crotch sniffing? Are you prepared to tell them they are "not worth knowing" if they don't see a problem with it? I can see it already, Old Whacko's litmus test for politicians "what is your position on crotch sniffing."


Dogs do not just sniff. You are dismissing this offensive behavior in an undue manner. A sniff is a brief whiff that ends in an instant, and only involves the dog's sense of smell. A dog will shove its shout right into someone's crotch and keep it there, not for an instant but for a prolonged period during which it will root around with its nose, the whole time rubbing against that person's thighs and sex organs. That is not just a sniff. It does not involve just the dog's sense of smell. It involves the person's sense of touch, which is not prevented by clothing. You can still feel it. In addition, this can go on until the dog is forcefully removed, and then it will struggle to get its nose back in there.

That is what we are talking about. Don't give me this just a sniff bull$****.

My friends do not allow their dogs to do this. They have trained their dogs to be well mannered. If their dog forgets itself and attempts to do this, they quickly control their dog. These people a quite sensible and have a reasonable understanding of the offensive nature of this kind of dog behavior.

I can see it now. Canine Mouth on Dick Craver (CMDC) visits the Pope and his dog rams his nose into the Pope's crotch. As he and his dog are being hauled off, he whines, "What did I do wrong?"

old_dude


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

gofarther said:


> No -
> 
> You came to a battle of wits unarmed.


Do I hear an echo in here. Must be your hollow head.

old_dude


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

Darkwing Duck said:


> Momma!


I can see why this happened.

old_dude


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## jbmoocow (Dec 30, 2003)

Are you cut/pasting yourself? 
Just when I thought you couldn't sink to a lower level of psycho-pathetic....
Geez, you're not even trying



old_dude said:


> Dogs do not just sniff. You are dismissing this offensive behavior in an undue manner. A sniff is a brief whiff that ends in an instant, and only involves the dog's sense of smell. A dog will shove its shout right into someone's crotch and keep it there, not for an instant but for a prolonged period during which it will root around with its nose, the whole time rubbing against that person's thighs and sex organs.........


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## Darkwing Duck (Jan 12, 2004)

*Damn the cold nose and full steam ahead*

400 or bust!


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## Cooter. (Apr 14, 2004)

old_dude said:


> I do not own a horse, a snake, a bull, a monkey, a lion, a alligator, an so on.
> 
> old_dude


do you own a three toed sloth? Or a rabid zimbabwean hairless yak perhaps? I know, I know, you have a pet grasshopper. That explains it


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## jbmoocow (Dec 30, 2003)

Are you going to try and tell us now that your wife was there taking pictures?



old_dude said:


> I can see why this happened.
> 
> old_dude[/QUOTE
> 
> ...


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## old_dude (Jan 27, 2004)

bmateo said:


> Read the article, it might help:
> 
> http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/06/10/dog.language.ap/index.html


Cool. Thanks for the reference.

I guess I was wrong, when I said I might as well be talking to a dog. A dog would be smarter than that guy.

old_dude


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

old_dude said:


> I can see it now. Canine Mouth on Dick Craver (CMDC) visits the Pope and his dog rams his nose into the Pope's crotch. As he and his dog are being hauled off, he whines, "What did I do wrong?"
> 
> old_dude


You had to bring religion in you dumb fu*k, didn't you.

Unlike your pathetic inbred waste of oxygen self, I am a rich Jew. I wouldn't spend my time going to see the pope as he is no different than any other stranger to me.

You are obviously a very poor catholic as you don't grasp the idea of "to err is human, to forgive is devine." Even your warped hypothetical situation were to happen, the pope would have the intelligence to realize that a dog is one of God's creatures and in doing what it naturally does that it should not be punished.

You should go to your church and beg God for forgiveness for being such a dumb ass. Better yet, go to the holy water, stick your head under and leave it there. You are such a ***** victim, you start an arguement and when people don't agree with your warped views, you call them abusive, mind readers, etc..

The funny thing is your above post finally showed your true colors. Your a Jesus freak. I had the thought you were, as you do the same thing as the born again Christian's do when they preach on college campuses. Throw out a crazy idea, and then call everyone who doesn't agree with them minions of satan, sinners, or tell them they will go to hell. You do the same thing, but with what your try to label progressive thinking.

This really explains your latent issues with your crotch, dick, sex and the inability to differenciate between sexual and non sexual issues. You are obviously so sexual represed that you cannot be around children because you fear you will act on your sexual thoughts. You feel like you have sinned when a dog sniffs your crotch because it stimulates your dick. By saying your dick acts on its own, you are showing what a state of denial you are in. You references to your wife and you about sex show the typical religious zelot issues about sex. You probably never got laid before you were married, never have gone down on a woman, or had a blow job. I bet you feel guilty when you masturbate also and tell everyone what a sin it is. Don't try to say you don't and never had masturbated, because it is a lie. Have you every given your wife an orgasm or have you failed in life there also.

Whether you realize it or not, I have your number far better than you have your own.


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## Cooter. (Apr 14, 2004)

`````


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## drsam (Jan 12, 2004)

*that's just wrong!*



Al. said:


> insert your own caption here:


Sick and wrong!!


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## .WestCoastHucker. (Jan 14, 2004)

CDMC said:


> .............Unlike your pathetic inbred waste of oxygen self, I am a rich Jew.............................


shut up you stupid ****!


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

.WestCoastHucker. said:


> shut up you stupid ****!


FU to. I may be a **** but am far from stupid.

Hey I figured out how to get this thread over 500 posts.

Tony Ellsworth

That should do it. Just in case:

My Truth Broke


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## .WestCoastHucker. (Jan 14, 2004)

CDMC said:


> FU to*o* . I may be a **** but am far from stupid.


well, not that far....


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## Cary (Dec 29, 2003)

.WestCoastHucker. said:


> well, not that far....


You know the sad part is I looked at that and said to myself, there should be two o's in that to, but decided not to waste the time fixing it. Now quit fu*k*ng with me so I can focus on the old guy!!!!


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## .WestCoastHucker. (Jan 14, 2004)

CDMC said:


> You know the sad part is I looked at that and said to myself, there should be two o's in that to, but decided not to waste the time fixing it. Now quit fu*k*ng with me so I can focus on the old guy!!!!


ok, back to the old_prude


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## Got Bike? (Apr 20, 2004)

*Wow*

This has all been really fun. But it's hailing outside, HEAVILY, and I haven't ridden in that kinda weather yet. Wouldn't pass up the chance. Hey, Old_Dude; my sympathies, truly... no sarcasm, no jokes or insults,... you have my sincere sympathies. Hey everybody else; my sympathies, truly... no sarcasm, no jokes or insults,... you have my sincere sympathies.


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## trogdor (May 23, 2004)

[









nuff said.


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## SueB (Mar 16, 2004)

drsam said:


> Sick and wrong!!


But amazingly funny!


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## wg (Dec 20, 2003)

Is the dog feeling sexually assaulted?
Looks rather content.


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## pho (Apr 15, 2004)

*This thread needs some more insults...*

Let me tell you something, you primitive madmen (sorry - mad-persons),
it's fun to be severely primitive, but religious people are all malignant
imbeciles. I can't believe how "as stupid as a disease" you are.

Only a wanker like you would say that unnatural people don't marry
neo-facist people because they can't tell them apart from the mentally
retardeds. Feminist people are uneducated, but Elvis is a cool dude,
right? I'll bet you think that cardboard cut-outs are superficial.

Wasn't it Alaric the Visigoth who said that Nietzsche is primitive
and sadistic? I can't believe how uneducated you are. Ban venereal
diseases! Reagan was intellectual. You make me bored.


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## .WestCoastHucker. (Jan 14, 2004)

pho said:


> Let me tell you something, you primitive madmen (sorry - mad-persons),
> it's fun to be severely primitive, but religious people are all malignant
> imbeciles. I can't believe how "as stupid as a disease" you are.
> 
> ...


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