# Who Else's Family NEVER Listens To Them?



## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

In 2001, when I met my wife, she used to think I was some sort of genius. I fixed her car, fixed her bike, put ceiling fans in her apartment...
Fast forward to now. Among MANY other things, this one bugs me the most. My stepdaughter, who is now 28 gained a lot of weight in college. 
After graduating, getting her masters, getting married and becoming a school teacher, she began searching out the method that worked for her losing weight. 
She settled on Spin classes. She's back to her old self. Recently, she's been complaining of hip, leg and back pain. I said to her, with my wife right there with us, I experienced exactly the same thing when I rode a lot and hard. My quads became so strong they were messing up everything else. I began kickboxing classes as a cross train and it made a huge difference. I invited my stepdaughter to try. She and my wife both looked at me like I said rubber baby buggy bumpers and went about their business. 
A week later, a doctor tells her the exact same thing and sends her to physical therapy. Of course it helped. Now they say this doctor is some sort of a miracle worker. 
From here on out, my wisdom is no longer free. In fact, I'm passing it on to my son only. The rest of them can pay doctors and mechanics and whoever else. 
Another thing to think about is a month of kickboxing has got to be cheaper than physical therapy. All of my pains are gone and for a relatively low cost in my opinion.


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## sfgiantsfan (Dec 20, 2010)

What? sorry didn't read it


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## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

sfgiantsfan said:


> What? sorry didn't read it


Yep. That's what it's like.


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## milliesand (Jun 29, 2015)

I was with you until "rubber baby buggy bumpers".


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## Velobike (Jun 23, 2007)

A prophet is without honour in his own country....

Know the problem well. You'll suggest what works, it gets ignored, then some random genius tells them and is lauded to the skies.


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## cmg (Mar 13, 2012)

welcome to the club


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## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

I'm glad it isn't just me.


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## Chainslack (May 1, 2017)

Been there many times . Example 25+ years as auto mechanic 3 years formal training all certifications . My wife driving daughter and me in the the car when my wife asks me what the noise was that her car was making . When I tell her what I thought (knew) was , both her and my daughter said I was wrong and wanted to argue with me . Oh yeahI they know zero about automobiles. I feel you brother


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## chazpat (Sep 23, 2006)

My wife never believes anything I tell her but if one of her friends tell her something, even if it is just them guessing at something they know very little about: FACT.


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## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

I have to say... I haven't been saying much of anything to anyone about anything including ailments, cars or home maintenance. 
I've been happier.

A few weeks ago, my stepson, who has ZERO mechanical ability said he wanted to buy a boat. Not just any boat but one that needed finishing so he could make it his own. I knew that meant he expected me to do it. I told him if he wants a boat so bad go buy a brand new one with a warranty. 
I'm about to be freed up to begin a project I've been waiting a LONG time to get into and his boat is not on my priority list.


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## bachman1961 (Oct 9, 2013)

NYrr496 said:


> In 2001, when I met my wife, she used to think I was some sort of genius. I fixed her car, fixed her bike, put ceiling fans in her apartment...
> Fast forward to now. Among MANY other things, this one bugs me the most. My stepdaughter, who is now 28 gained a lot of weight in college.
> After graduating, getting her masters, getting married and becoming a school teacher, she began searching out the method that worked for her losing weight.
> She settled on Spin classes. She's back to her old self. Recently, she's been complaining of hip, leg and back pain. I said to her, with my wife right there with us, I experienced exactly the same thing when I rode a lot and hard. My quads became so strong they were messing up everything else. I began kickboxing classes as a cross train and it made a huge difference. I invited my stepdaughter to try. She and my wife both looked at me like I said rubber baby buggy bumpers and went about their business.
> ...


It's not atypical that family and even some friends won't take advice even when they ask. For reasons not entirely known to me, the same message delivered by another person can hit them like a fresh idea that's as good as magic.

The only thing I can think of is timing. They must continually mull things over in their own mind, maybe even do some of their own research and then at some point later on, be primed for the next person that comes along and gives the same advice. I think they actually have to believe in it but somehow convince themselves.

You can choose to ignore it and let it be so the other party gets the WIN or simply tell them at that point later on;
"You know, that exact advice just few days ago didn't even spark a conversation, I guess you just weren't quite ready to move forward at the time."

It may be best to leave it alone though !


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## cmg (Mar 13, 2012)

bachman1961 said:


> " I guess you just weren't quite ready to move forward at the time."
> 
> It may be best to leave it alone though !


Here, hold my beer while I tell the missus she wasnt ready to move forward yet


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## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

cmg71 said:


> Here, hold my beer while I tell the missus she wasnt ready to move forward yet


Haha! Yep.


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## Aglo (Dec 16, 2014)

cmg71 said:


> Here, hold my beer while I tell the missus she wasnt ready to move forward yet


That made me laugh so hard.
I even visualized you giving the beer to your buddy while going to talk to your missus, but with the intensity as if you were going to fight a bear...


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## leeboh (Aug 5, 2011)

That's a guy/girl thing. Marriage as well. Good luck.


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## Mr Pig (Jun 25, 2008)

Velobike said:


> A prophet is without honour in his own country....


Yeah, this.

Years ago a friend of mine asked me if I would have a talk with his teenage son. He said 'I might as well be talking like the teacher in Charley Brown' which I thought was quite funny. It's true, your kids think you're an idiot. It's very frustrating when you have to watch them feck up then look all bemused about it when you told them what would happen beforehand.

My wife is the same. Bottom line is that people just hate being told they are wrong. Some are worse than others, my wife is pretty bad. If she makes a meal and you say:

"That was great, really good, but maybe just a pinch too much...salt or whatever'

Whoosh! Straight to thirty-thousand feet!

'That's it! You can make your own dinner from now on!!' stomp-stomp crash-crash.

I am not kidding. It's pitiful :0(


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## DIRTJUNKIE (Oct 18, 2000)

NYrr496 said:


> In 2001, when I met my wife, she used to think I was some sort of genius. I fixed her car, fixed her bike, put ceiling fans in her apartment...
> Fast forward to now. Among MANY other things, this one bugs me the most. My stepdaughter, who is now 28 gained a lot of weight in college.
> After graduating, getting her masters, getting married and becoming a school teacher, she began searching out the method that worked for her losing weight.
> She settled on Spin classes. She's back to her old self. Recently, she's been complaining of hip, leg and back pain. I said to her, with my wife right there with us, I experienced exactly the same thing when I rode a lot and hard. My quads became so strong they were messing up everything else. I began kickboxing classes as a cross train and it made a huge difference. I invited my stepdaughter to try. She and my wife both looked at me like I said rubber baby buggy bumpers and went about their business.
> ...


That was pretty funny. Sorry I don't have much time for a proper response right now, maybe later.


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## fishboy316 (Jan 10, 2014)

I just don't get why they even ask the question. They already know what you say is wrong! I raised 3 daughters and am raising a granddaughter. I know what you mean!!!


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## bachman1961 (Oct 9, 2013)

leeboh said:


> That's a guy/girl thing. Marriage as well. Good luck.


lol

Coming up to 34 years of 'couple-ship' before the end of month. 
Just because I think of the crafty comeback once in a while, (gotta confess) doesn't mean I'd actually pull that one off myself.

When I seen the "hold my beer" comment, I pictured the swollen eye and bruising on the side of his face. hehe


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## Velobike (Jun 23, 2007)

Mr Pig said:


> ...My wife is the same. Bottom line is that people just hate being told they are wrong. Some are worse than others, my wife is pretty bad. If she makes a meal and you say:
> 
> "That was great, really good, but maybe just a pinch too much...salt or whatever'
> 
> Whoosh! Straight to thirty-thousand feet!...


In the early days of our marriage my wife was an awful cook but I wasn't allowed near the kitchen. When I was asked how it was going I'd say "I'm eating like the gods".

My wife was really pleased with this praise until she discovered I was meaning burnt offerings. Took about 10 years to come out of orbit, but I'm still not allowed near cooking duties.

Still a sensitive subject.


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## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

Here's another great one. One day, a few years ago, I come home and my wife bought an Electra beach cruiser. Single speed, coaster brake, weighs about 42 pounds. 
I said why'd you buy that?? She replied I don't need you to buy a bike. I said ok. Enjoy it. I think she rode it once. It's in the basement all dusty. 
I've been trying to decide what to do with it. Too bad it's small for me. I'd love to rat rod it.


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## Sanchofula (Dec 30, 2007)

I give advice for a living, yet very few peoplr are "able" to take my advice to heart. 

Asking for advice is much easier than putting the advice into practice.

Remember, it's not about the giver.

That said, a good delivery can make a difference.

It's heartening when someone acts on my advice, but I rarely expect such success because the person asking for advice is doing so because they are already struggling with making a choice.


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## mileslong (Aug 20, 2016)

It sounds to me like you planted the seed, the Dr. just gave it some water... and it bloomed.

If asked, I share the things I've learned because it makes me feel good.


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## burtronix (Jun 5, 2006)

NYrr496 said:


> In 2001, when I met my wife, she used to think I was some sort of genius. I fixed her car, fixed her bike, put ceiling fans in her apartment...
> Fast forward to now. Among MANY other things, this one bugs me the most. My stepdaughter, who is now 28 gained a lot of weight in college.
> After graduating, getting her masters, getting married and becoming a school teacher, she began searching out the method that worked for her losing weight.
> She settled on Spin classes. She's back to her old self. Recently, she's been complaining of hip, leg and back pain. I said to her, with my wife right there with us, I experienced exactly the same thing when I rode a lot and hard. My quads became so strong they were messing up everything else. I began kickboxing classes as a cross train and it made a huge difference. I invited my stepdaughter to try. She and my wife both looked at me like I said rubber baby buggy bumpers and went about their business.
> ...


 You didn't charge enough. Raise your consulting fee to the pain point & they'll feel like your advice is too expensive to ignore. That's why she listened to the expensive doctor & not you.

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk


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## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

burtronix said:


> You didn't charge enough. Raise your consulting fee to the pain point & they'll feel like your advice is too expensive to ignore. That's why she listened to the expensive doctor & not you.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk


That is an excellent idea.


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## cmg (Mar 13, 2012)

Ive come to the conclusion that family are cats.....stay with me here

Im home alone at the moment, wife and kids are on holidays, last night Im sitting on the couch watching TV with the cat, so Im talking to him and hes looking at me like he gets it, so I continue on with the one sided conversation, and while im talking he just gets up and walks away , thats when I realised he wasnt listening to me :nonod:, 

this is how I came to the conclusion above, it might also have been the beer though


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## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

cmg71 said:


> Ive come to the conclusion that family are cats.....stay with me here
> 
> Im home alone at the moment, wife and kids are on holidays, last night Im sitting on the couch watching TV with the cat, so Im talking to him and hes looking at me like he gets it, so I continue on with the one sided conversation, and while im talking he just gets up and walks away , thats when I realised he wasnt listening to me :nonod:,
> 
> this is how I came to the conclusion above, it might also have been the beer though


I'm totally with ya.


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## Albee (Jul 21, 2004)

cmg71 said:


> Ive come to the conclusion that family are cats.....stay with me here
> 
> Im home alone at the moment, wife and kids are on holidays, last night Im sitting on the couch watching TV with the cat, so Im talking to him and hes looking at me like he gets it, so I continue on with the one sided conversation, and while im talking he just gets up and walks away , thats when I realised he wasnt listening to me :nonod:,
> 
> this is how I came to the conclusion above, it might also have been the beer though


A dog would have stayed with you all the while, your words like beautiful music to its ears.....just sayin'


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## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

My dog is awesome.


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## cmg (Mar 13, 2012)

I know, 
he's been dead 7 yrs though , Jack Russel Terrier died at 15yrs old, miss that little bastard like nothing else

swore ld never get another dog, they are just too cool, and dont live long enough, meh cats l dont give two hoots about


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## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

cmg71 said:


> I know,
> he's been dead 7 yrs though , Jack Russel Terrier died at 15yrs old, miss that little bastard like nothing else
> 
> swore ld never get another dog, they are just too cool, and dont live long enough, meh cats l dont give two hoots about


I used to think just like you. I had a pit shepherd mix that I loved more than most people. When he died, no other dog was good enough so I didn't get another one. 
Since him, I finally got a yellow lab who had to be put down from bone cancer and a spectacular pointer/ boxer mix that was the most spectacular mtb trail dog ever. She bolted out into traffic and got killed by a car. For the first time ever, immediately after her death, I got Mason, the collie shepherd mix in the picture above. 
I had never gotten a dog as soon as losing another before but he was a rescue and needed a home. He ended up being a fantastic boy. Can't imagine not having him. 
Point being, if I continued to never want another dog, I'd never know the great dogs that I got to experience having.


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## Velobike (Jun 23, 2007)

Dogs, how appropriate to this thread. The only one in the family who pays attention when I speak. 

Here's mine, a Great Dane/Wolfhound cross, and yes she's very big. Useless as a traildog though - scared of the bike!


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## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

What a beauty


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## MSU Alum (Aug 8, 2009)

I guess a thread titled,
"Who else's family EVER listens to them" would be met with the sound of crickets.


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## cmg (Mar 13, 2012)

Probably male crickets, not getting listened to...


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## MtbRN (Jun 8, 2006)

cmg71 said:


> Probably male crickets, not getting listened to...


Which means they are unlikely to have a family.


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## Curveball (Aug 10, 2015)

My son had terrible cornering technique and I gave him repeated advice about foot placement and such which was seemingly ignored. 

This last summer he started doing what I told him and increased his speed a lot. 

Now I can't keep up with him.


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## JACKL (Sep 18, 2011)

I tried telling my daughter that it's not a good idea to drive down the road with her left foot up on the driver's seat, leaning over like she's lounging, with one hand casually holding the wheel. She gave a little amused laugh and said "It's fine Dad, don't worry about it", as if I'm a silly old man, worried about such trivial things...I said yeah it's fine, right up until the second something goes wrong...then you may not even have time to say "oh s-".


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## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

JACKL said:


> I tried telling my daughter that it's not a good idea to drive down the road with her left foot up on the driver's seat, leaning over like she's lounging, with one hand casually holding the wheel. She gave a little amused laugh and said "It's fine Dad, don't worry about it", as if I'm a silly old man, worried about such trivial things...I said yeah it's fine, right up until the second something goes wrong...then you may not even have time to say "oh s-".


Years ago, my brother used to date a chick that used to drive like that. 
Once, she was angry at him for going with me to a card game and she roared up our street, spun the car out and did a perfect Blues Brothers parking job right in front of the house... All with her foot on the seat and one hand on the wheel. Still one of the craziest things I've ever seen.


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## Golddr2000 (May 4, 2004)

They sound like my teenage children! My wife and I tell them something and they say we are clueless. The coach or girlfriends father says the exact thing and they are great. 

Sent from my SM-G935P using Tapatalk


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## santabooze (Oct 14, 2010)

Everyman has had this argument for a thousand years... don’t sweat it they’ll get it when you are gone.... didn’t you? 

And whenever asked give them your advice, and they have the choice to take it or not. 

Life.. go ride your bike and don’t sweat it.


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## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

santabooze said:


> Life.. go ride your bike and don't sweat it.


Yep.


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## DIRTJUNKIE (Oct 18, 2000)

JACKL said:


> I tried telling my daughter that it's not a good idea to drive down the road with her left foot up on the driver's seat, leaning over like she's lounging, with one hand casually holding the wheel. She gave a little amused laugh and said "It's fine Dad, don't worry about it", as if I'm a silly old man, worried about such trivial things...I said yeah it's fine, right up until the second something goes wrong...then you may not even have time to say "oh s-".


Saw a young college girl just yesterday driving like that. Pretty common among today's young girls. Very little reaction time and maneuverability way.



NYrr496 said:


> Years ago, my brother used to date a chick that used to drive like that.
> Once, she was angry at him for going with me to a card game and she roared up our street, spun the car out and did a perfect Blues Brothers parking job right in front of the house... All with her foot on the seat and one hand on the wheel. Still one of the craziest things I've ever seen.


Pretty funny.


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