# PARENTS ONLY: How do you balance riding with family?



## SWriverstone (Sep 3, 2009)

I'm a dad to two little kids (age 2 and 4). And I'm finding it damn difficult to find time to ride. 

I might be wrong, but I'd be willing to bet that the majority of people on this site aren't parents...because, to put it simply, if some people here have kids, they could never ride as much as they do without (IMO) being a crappy parent and never being around their kids.

Now hold on! Don't go jumping all over me for sounding judgemental! I realize there may be exceptions. But c'mon, if you have kids age 2 and 4, you aren't going to be bringing them on any epic 20-30 mile wilderness rides.

Maybe some people here have highly permissive wives or husbands who are fine sitting at home with the kids while you go off and play all day? Unfortunately, my wife isn't highly permissive—she insists on me spending plenty of quality time with my kids. Which I can't fault her for. (They're only kids once, right?)

So for those in my situation—who are parents of small children in a nuclear family with a spouse—when do you ride? Do you get out at 5am in the morning? Do you ride at night? Do you negotiate deals with your spouse to give you X riding days per month?

And for the record, I'm actually okay (mostly) with simply accepting that I'm in a different stage in life than all the happy-go-lucky singles and childless folks who play, play, play all day.

But I'm still curious to know how other people in my situation manage to find ride time?

Scott


----------



## Fiskare (Sep 5, 2008)

SWriverstone said:


> I'm a dad to two little kids (age 2 and 4). And I'm finding it damn difficult to find time to ride.


I bought a second hand Burley and strapped my boy in the middle seat with a helmet on. I rolled the Burley twice in the next several years of bashing about towing my boy. Great stuff. Now he rides with me and is making me look slow and old.


----------



## SWriverstone (Sep 3, 2009)

Fiskare said:


> I bought a second hand Burley and strapped my boy in the middle seat with a helmet on. I rolled the Burley twice in the next several years of bashing about towing my boy. Great stuff. Now he rides with me and is making me look slow and old.


That's great! But kinda hard for me cuz I have two kids-and both would want to go! (And my wife isn't gonna pull one down the trail...)

Scott


----------



## Rocky Mtn (Jan 19, 2014)

My kids are older now, so it is a little easier as we can go on family rides and what not, but, when they were younger I'd try and go and do my thing early in the morning, so I was back around lunch time.

I'd also try and find some me time when I went to visit my in-laws.

You need to negotiate this time with the wife though as it makes it easier for everyone


----------



## SWriverstone (Sep 3, 2009)

@Rocky Mtn—sounds like you were lucky enough to either not have a job, or work flexible hours (based on "early in the morning...back around lunch time"). I do the 8-5 thing.

Mornings are probably my best option...but only in summer/early fall. Forget it in the winter (unless I want to ride at night w/lights).

Scott


----------



## Boondock77 (Jun 16, 2014)

Have two kiddos, one is almost two the other is 3 months so I can't take the young one yet. 
I have a double trailer that I pull the two year old. Around 6-9 months on the younger one I'll try sliding them both in the trailer. Obviously can't go banging tough rock gardens but pretty smooth single track, dirts roads, pavement are all good. 
He loves it and doesn't seem to mind getting bounced around.

Another idea is one in a trailer and one in a seat behind you that sits up kinda high.... A lot of weight but better than sitting at home.


----------



## Xethur (Dec 6, 2014)

I ride close to home several times a week. I have found that cutting the transit time out really helps. It means I can come home from work and spend 30 to 60 mins riding without asking to much. I did build a small track on my property but that may not be an option for you. I get a day trip about once a month. I also commute when it doesn't add a lot of time to where I'm headed. I ride a 13 mile commute that only requires me to leave 15 mins earlier. And recently I've been using the train tracks to make the commute interesting. It did take some time for the wife to accept my riding, but it is my only hobby and she has come to respect that.

To relate I am married with 4 kids. The kids are 9, 8, and the twins are 5.


----------



## Steve71 (Mar 15, 2004)

I gave up riding when we had kids (wife gave up at 6 months preggo). We saved like mofo's during that time and bought a second house in the mountains. We live there full time now and get a baby sitter to look after the kidos for 12 hours a week. Mostly ride the moto right out the door now, which saves even more time. We can be on top of the continental divide in under 15 mins.

Little kids are needy and take a LOT of work and time. Better to roll with until they grow up a little unless you have parents close by and/or a good babysitter.

Our girls (4 & 6) both ride bikes and motos now, which make fore awesome family vacations down in the desert. 

Good luck and make sure the wife is happy and OK with whatever you decide to do. She is going to need lots of breaks as well.


----------



## Impetus (Aug 10, 2014)

I have two kids, boys- 1 1/2 & 4. I'm also in grad school. 
for me, it's quality over quantity. 
I ride about 2-3 times a month, usually a Sunday morning. I usually try and sandwich it in between dawn and breakfast, so I can do my hobby when it doesn't impact anyone but me and then the rest of the weekend is family time. I'm out the door in the dark and at the trailhead shortly after 5am this time of year, and try to be home by 8:30.
I just try and make it the best ride I can. 2-3 hours of the most enjoyment I can put together on a bike, about every other weekend. Occasionally I'll get an unexpected opportunity to ride mid-week if I have a late morning class and the kids are going to Grandma's daycare anyway, my wife will take them and I'll cram in a 60-90 minute ride before 9am.
Honestly, (without making this thread about me) I'm slowly transitioning out of MTB I think. It's so stressful to plan rides a week or more in advance only to have something out of my control squash my opportunity, or something family-wise 'encourage' me to choose family over riding. I feel like I'd have better luck focusing on my other hobby, running, where I can do it in an hour, or so, not three.
I've recently seriously considered selling my MTB to fund a nice road bike and just enjoy that. I have a kid trailer and the kids like to be pulled around, so I could at least get in many more miles of pedaling.


----------



## junkyardkid (Oct 2, 2014)

Ive got a two year old right now. For me it was about health. I hadnt been on the mountain bike in 10 years. Though i rode beach cruiser around my apartment untill i moved to a house then nothing for four years. I dont want to have a heart attack at 55. So i told the wife this was to extend my life so i could spend it with our daughter. But thats me. Also i dont have to work a lot and take my daughter to work every friday for over a year now so that helps.


----------



## Fiskare (Sep 5, 2008)

SWriverstone said:


> That's great! But kinda hard for me cuz I have two kids-and both would want to go! (And my wife isn't gonna pull one down the trail...)
> 
> Scott


Burleys carry two kids. Or one can sit in the middle for better balance when there is only one kid. Have fun!


----------



## Miker J (Nov 4, 2003)

Less riding time. No way around it.

When my 2 were little, I put them in a Burly and stuck to the logging roads. As they got older, still stuck to the logging roads and always carried a rope/cord and pulled them up the hills to exhaust myself. Even did that with my wife when I use to race.

Did more trail work as I could take the kids with me. They could play in the dirt and in the streams while I sculpted trails.

Got the kids on bikes early on. When the family rode/rides together I tend to take the heaviest/slowest bike I have.

Now that they are old enough to ride with me (if they are in the mood) it is a great time.

Went through the same thing with xc skiing.


----------



## Bikin' Bric (Sep 7, 2003)

I've got two kids now, 1 and 3, and ride less than I did before having them. I do get out 1-2 times per week though. I usually get up early in the AM and get to the trailhead (having 50km of trail 10 min from home is a bonus) at sunrise and ride for 2-3 hours. I'm back just after momma and the kiddies are finishing up breakfast. I also do rides on my CX bike with the kids in the Chariot trailer and ride the rail trails from home (I live in the hub of a rail trail network with paths going north, south, and west out of town). It helps having riding options close to home, if I had to drive an hour away to ride it wouldn't happen as often.


----------



## TheGweed (Jan 30, 2010)

SWriverstone said:


> I might be wrong, but I'd be willing to bet that the majority of people on this site aren't parents...because, to put it simply, if some people here have kids, they could never ride as much as they do without (IMO) being a crappy parent and never being around their kids.
> 
> Now hold on! Don't go jumping all over me for sounding judgemental!
> 
> ...


You say that "in your opinion" people are being crappy parents for something and then don't want to get heat for being judgmental? That's rich.

You're "mostly okay" with people that can play all day? Doesn't sound like it.

I'm so tired of your type that think "my way is the right way, the rest of you be darned, and I can judge you, but don't judge me."

You have no clue how to raise a happy family or how to have a healthy relationship with your spouse.

We have a 16 year old, happy well-adjusted daughter who thinks my wife and I are great parents. And we both think the most of her. You know why? Because we don't regret her. We've always spent tons of quality time with her, yet also spent quality time doing our own thing. We have never put ourselves before her, yet also managed to find time for our own thing...it's not that hard.

Since you advocated for giving opinions without being judged, I will tell you: you sound like a seriously jealous or regretful guy. I hope I'm wrong, but I doubt it.


----------



## Nat (Dec 30, 2003)

My kids are now 10 and 13 so I'm out the other end of the tunnel, but when they were young like your kids I definitely had less time. I think you're a bit out of commission for about a decade. Not that you can't find time to do stuff like riding, you just are limited or make some trade-offs. Even when you do go off to play there always seems to be a touch of parent guilt tugging at you.

Do you have a babysitter? I don't think taking a couple of hours to ride once or twice per week is excessive, but if your wife disagrees then that's between you guys. Personally I think it's good for kids to see that their parents have a life outside of taking care of them. 

Time goes by very quickly so you'll see light at the other end before you know it.


----------



## bankerboy (Oct 17, 2006)

Night lights were invented for this exact reason. After the kids go to bed, you have the entire night to ride whenever you want.


----------



## blkangel (Aug 8, 2014)

My kids are 12 and 10. My son rides with me sometimes but less and less now that he is in football so that takes a lot of his time.

I was out of riding for over 10 years before I picked up riding again regularly in 2013. 

I ride 4 to 6 times a week but my rides are rather short. Generally only gone for an hour to an hour and half when I ride the road bike near the house. And 3 to 4 hours max when I drive somewhere to ride. I also generally ride in the morning on the weekends so I have the rest of the day with the family. 

I also work at home 2 days a week so I can get a quick hour road ride in, shower and eat breakfast before 8:00.

But I understand the issue that the OP has. Most of the good trails are 1.5 to 3 hours away from me and driving 5 or 6 hours round trip and then 1.5 hours or 2 hours of riding is not something I really want to do. I would rather make a weekend of it at that distance but with the family I really don't think it is fair for me to be gone for the whole weekend so I am limited to where I can ride.


----------



## gasmanxj (Sep 29, 2014)

I usually get in 3-5 rides a week, married, have a 40+ hr/wk job, and 15 yr old daughter. I am fortunate things in my life line up to do this but it's also a bit planned by putting emphasis on what is most important and minimizing things that are not. IE: I watch little TV, have a low maintenance house/property, 10 min commute to work, switched up careers to have more free time, etc., that allow me to focus on family and fun. We have plenty of family time and find activities to do together, always have. 

I agree it can be tougher when kids are younger and you probably aren't going to get out as much but it is a matter of balancing things out. Sometimes that means sacrifices and changes to your life depending on what are the most important things to you and your family.


----------



## Solidstate (Mar 22, 2014)

I ride 2-3 times a week, mostly on single track 5min. from my house. Have a 3 yr old so I know the challenge but I make it happen. I work 8-9 hours a day starting at 6:00am so I'm usually on the trails by 3:30 on a weekday, when the kid is still in preschool. Friday's get of early if possible On the weekends I get out by 7am even in the winter(NorCal)I take the dog 1 or 2 of those times when the rides will be 12 miles or less so that helps the wife out. I'm not a crappy parent, I do love to ride though so I make the rides happen.


----------



## goodmojo (Sep 12, 2011)

Solidstate said:


> I ride 2-3 times a week, mostly on single track 5min. from my house. Have a 3 yr old so I know the challenge but I make it happen. I work 8-9 hours a day starting at 6:00am so I'm usually on the trails by 3:30 on a weekday, when the kid is still in preschool. Friday's get of early if possible On the weekends I get out by 7am even in the winter(NorCal)I take the dog 1 or 2 of those times when the rides will be 12 miles or less so that helps the wife out. I'm not a crappy parent, I do love to ride though so I make the rides happen.


You need to reset expectations with your wife so she understands it is a Priority. She needs to help you to figure out how to make it work.

5-9 hours a week is nothing and didn't make you a bad parent.

The best thing about mtb is that it is very efficient for time vs exercise compared to golf. Plus you can do it with a spare hour or two. I quit a lot of things that require scheduling.

I have 3 kids,7, 2 and 4 weeks. I just rode for 4 hours yesterday. Last week I went kitesurfing 4 days in a row, 3 hours each time.

I watch the kids when she wants to go out anytime nd play with the kids for an hour after work every day which is more than most dad's.

My neighbor has a 3 yo and rides at least 5 days a week, some are short 30 minutes .some are 30 miles. He also does about 6 guy trips a year. Right now he is at crested butte for a week

You just need to make it a priority and your wife needs to recognize it. You will go crazy if you are spending all your time with your family. That is no way to live


SWriverstone said:


> I'm a dad to two little kids (age 2 and 4). And I'm finding it damn difficult to find time to ride.
> 
> I might be wrong, but I'd be willing to bet that the majority of people on this site aren't parents...because, to put it simply, if some people here have kids, they could never ride as much as they do without (IMO) being a crappy parent and never being around their kids.
> 
> ...


----------



## Nat (Dec 30, 2003)

Also, if you're just desperate for exercise but can't find enough time to ride, take up running. You'll get 2-3 times the workout in the same amount of time, and spend less time getting your equipment ready.


----------



## Rocky Mtn (Jan 19, 2014)

SWriverstone said:


> @Rocky Mtn-sounds like you were lucky enough to either not have a job, or work flexible hours (based on "early in the morning...back around lunch time"). I do the 8-5 thing.
> 
> Mornings are probably my best option...but only in summer/early fall. Forget it in the winter (unless I want to ride at night w/lights).
> 
> Scott


Sorry, I should have clarified that I do my ridingon weekends as I have a Monday to Friday 9 to 5 job.

One other thing that helps grease the wheel with the wife, is making sure that I am helpful around the house and take on my share of domestic duties and I als try and give my wife some alone time by taking the kids off her hands occasionally. I also used to try and set things up with the wife in advance so that I was going every other weekend for one day.


----------



## joshhan (Apr 1, 2011)

Three kids (9,6,3). Starting riding a lot 4 years ago. I go MTB when I can but have since picked up road riding to improve my fitness for MTB.

My job is a little over 6 miles away so I ride my bike to work which also helps.

When the kids were younger, we got a trailer. As the oldest got big enough to reach the pedals, I got a tagalong and attached the trailer to that.  The early days of the third kid, the oldest rode the tagalong and the two younger kids rode in the trailer. I don't care how flat it is, dragging all that weight around was a workout! Nowadays, the older two ride their own bikes (at different paces) and I just need to drag the youngest in the trailer.

I think the key is to involve the whole family when you can. Try to get the wife into riding (as I did, at least on the road) and she'll appreciate the exercise and stress relieving aspect of riding your bike.


----------



## Porkchop_Power (Jul 30, 2008)

*9 Month Old Twins + 4 y/o and I ride A lot*

Everything this guy said is correct. I have 9 Month old twin boys and a 4 y/o girl and I ride 4-5 days a week in the warmer parts of the year. I got two big mountain rides in this week already.

Of course some days the rides are pulling the kids on the bike paths. The Double Chariot with the twins and a bunch of crap is 120+ lbs. With some moderate climbs and 20-30 mile rides that is some great training. I pulled the 4 year old over 3000 miles before switching to the twins. She loved it and the twins love it and it is a workout.

Get some good mountain bike rides in after work, switch with the wife for two nights out each if your schedule allows. Take turns on weekends for big rides. Maybe do some small lunch rides if you can. Take some half days or full days off just to ride. Try to have a somewhat flex work schedule if possible. You don't need to spend all your free time with your whole family doing the same thing. I just don't see how people do that and survive.



goodmojo said:


> You need to reset expectations with your wife so she understands it is a Priority. She needs to help you to figure out how to make it work.
> 
> 5-9 hours a week is nothing and didn't make you a bad parent.
> 
> ...


----------



## Adim_X (Mar 3, 2010)

We have one 6 yr old. I ride 10-14 hours week. Still feel like I'm around plenty to keep family life happy. Have full time job plus 1.5 hrs commute each day. I used to be 365 pounds now I'm 220ish..I may get more of a pass due to the struggles I've gone through. I dunno...compared to my friends it feels like either people are scared of wives or my wife is exceptionally cool. occasional I get family ride and pull Lilly around on trailer bike. I dunno, kids dont mean end of life..to me it makes me prioritize and cycling is focus. I have learned it is much easier to road ride then mtb..so now I'm like 75% roadie, but I don't really care riding bikes makes me smile.


----------



## jugdish (Apr 1, 2004)

"without (IMO) being a crappy parent and never being around their kids"

Assume much?
20 miles isn't epic...


----------



## Cotharyus (Jun 21, 2012)

Less riding during the time period you're in is expected, and acceptable. However, some agreement with your wife will help. My kids are 13 and 10 now, and ride with me...sometimes. My wife rides with me sometimes too. But mostly I ride alone. When the kids were younger, we had a close friend whose house they stayed at while my wife and I worked. I went in early in the morning, and got off mid afternoon. I could get home, catch a quick ride, and still pick the kids up by 4 or 4:30. Epic rides were ALWAYS limited to when we visited my family because my brother and I could ride, while our kids (close to the same age) played and our wives got to spend time telling stories about us, or whatever it is that women married to brothers do while they're out raising cain. 

The short version is, this is about balance. In my case, eliminating one altogether is to the determent of the other - cycling has ALWAYS been my reset switch. It's where my stress goes, my anger, my depression - everything negative goes into my rides. When I come back, all is right with the world, even if I return to a screaming disaster, I can deal with the kids and cut my wife loose to do whatever - go shopping without kids, lock herself in a quiet room to read a book - whatever. And look - your 4 year old? You need to get that one on a balance bike. A strider job, without pedals. And ...NO TRAINING WHEELS EVER! They're dangerous and slow down the learning curve. Stider bike, and when they can balance that, they're ready for a bike with pedals, and they can ride it. Period. Done. I promise you your kids will both want to ride like daddy if you involve them. Don't be afraid to do track stands in front of them. Bunny hops. My kids used to think that was hilarious. It was a guaranteed laugh. Daddy bounced his bike! 

Balance. And involve them. You'll be able to pick back up, and hopefully in a few years when your milage really starts to come back, you'll have company on the trail frequently.


----------



## BigHit-Maniac (Apr 13, 2004)

I'm a dad to a 3 year old little girl, and have step children as well. It's f'in hard. Overtime I mention I want to go for a ride the wife moans about me "not helping", yet I work 2 jobs take care of the lawn, and do everything a guy is supposed to do.


----------



## kyle242gt (Nov 12, 2012)

Strange thread. If you can't get away from your wife and kids for a couple hours a couple days a week, I think you may need to address your priorities. I bet your wife spends more time than that at yoga.


----------



## GT5050 (Jan 23, 2008)

kyle242gt said:


> Strange thread. If you can't get away from your wife and kids for a couple hours a couple days a week, I think you may need to address your priorities. I bet your wife spends more time than that at yoga.


Not a strange thread as the work/family/play ratio certainly has the potential to change with small kids.

That said, it is about priorities. I guarantee that those who dabble in MTB quit when they start a family. I call that getting old, and I don't accept that. I've made biking a part of my normal deal, and so it is. I get out early some days, sometimes on a Sunday I ride with my normal group in the morning, or sometimes solo, then I spend the second half of the day in the pool with my family. What works for me is that I do not try to make a rigid schedule to ride, but I do make time to ride. I'm just flexible with it. If we want a Sunday brunch, then I'll ride later. Or skip a day. Point is I don't stress about it, but I make it happen. It makes me a better father and husband, period.

I travel during the week quite a bit too, so it's doubly hard as the inclination is to be around the family every waking moment on the weekend. But the counter to that is the fact that getting a good ride in pays dividends in my ability to make the time with the family quality time.

I also have to actively remember that setting a good example is as or more important as spending every minute with the kid/kids. Within reason of course, you can't deprive your family of quality time either. But me getting out and being active is a good example, and it's rubbing off on my son. He's 5 now and he rides, and we get out for our own trail rides too. He loves it, and he easily clears a 5 mile trail ride without a problem. He's watched me race (I dabble in racing, don't seriously train) and he's told me at the age of four that he can't wait to race when he's an adult and have his kids cheer him on. That is worth its weight in gold.

Also, sometimes we picnic at the MTB park with another family with kids. My wife doesn't ride but us husbands will do a ride with the kids, then we ride without the kids. Then we barbeque and make it a great family day.

So to bring it full circle, my approach is that I'm flexible, I involve my family as much as I can, and I offset time spent away riding with absolutely focused family time when done.


----------



## GT5050 (Jan 23, 2008)

Here's a great read on the subject - not cycling but still relevant:
http://breakingmuscle.com/sports-psychology/prioritizing-your-fitness-isnt-selfish-its-necessary


----------



## targnik (Jan 11, 2014)

Have a wonderful better half that suggested you take up the sport ^^ I ride as much as my/our busy timetable allows - school holidays, I'm either out riding or recovering for next ride + get into night riding, kids gotta sleep 

-------------------------------------
Opinions are like A-holes... everybody 
has one & they're usually full of...??


----------



## inonjoey (Jul 19, 2011)

I have a 10 week old, so very early in the game, but I'm still able to get away for 10-15 hours per week to ride, work 45-50 hrs per week and be with the wife and kiddo. Before our son was born, my wife and I discussed the fact that I needed to ride my bike to maintain my sanity and fitness, just like she needs to go to yoga and ballet to maintain her sanity and fitness. We'll pull for each other. She's definitely already been frustrated at times, as have I, but we let each other know and don't consider taking our individual time away an option. Hopefully, with a lot of work, we'll be able to keep this going. Oh, and I really hope my little guy enjoys riding - would make things much easier and more rewarding.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


----------



## slapheadmofo (Jun 9, 2006)

OP - get a light and ride while the fam sleeps. Opens up way more options schedule-wise.



Cotharyus said:


> ...NO TRAINING WHEELS EVER! They're dangerous and slow down the learning curve.


Sorry, but this is BS...different kids learn things in different ways. 
My little guy at 4-5 years old, no strider, started on training wheels...




























Now at 10, he handles a bike better than the average adult mtber and has a pretty well-stocked BMX trophy case. The benefits of striders and the downsides of training wheels are both overhyped IME; I've seen plenty of kids still shuffling along on striders who are well past the age when my son was hitting stuff a lot of grownups would walk away from.


----------



## KevinGT (Dec 25, 2012)

SWriverstone said:


> I'm a dad to two little kids (age 2 and 4). And I'm finding it damn difficult to find time to ride.
> 
> I might be wrong, but I'd be willing to bet that the majority of people on this site aren't parents...because, to put it simply, if some people here have kids, they could never ride as much as they do without (IMO) being a crappy parent and never being around their kids.
> 
> ...


Frankly, you sound like a whining idiot.

YOU can't get enough balance in your life so those of us who can are crappy parents or have wives who sit at home all day while we play? :nono:

I have four kids. I work 70 hours a week and travel 50% of the time. When I'm not traveling, I have a 70 mile one-way commute.

I ride 2-4 days per week. Some are short, some are longer. My wife is a distance runner and qualified for the Boston Marathon 6 months after our first was born -- doing most of her training pushing him in a Baby Jogger. I raced triathlons while our kids were young. I'd get up at sunrise and get a long ride in while she took care of the kids. At 9AM, we'd swap and she'd get her long run. By 11 AM, we're both home and the kids have had nothing but parent time since they got up. Then we spend the rest of the day with them. It's pretty easy

What I DON'T do is spend all day sitting around watching TV or working on the garden or drinking beer. It only takes a few hours a week to get in great mountain biking shape and most of us, and I'll assume you, waste FAR more than that watching TV.

It's not that hard. In fact, I'd say I'm a better parent than most because ALL of my kids are fit, healthy, and happy due to the example my wife and I set. You, on the other hand, are teaching your kids to be whining victims. Who's the crappy parent?


----------



## tomparker (Mar 1, 2013)

I think this is an excellent question, and the answer really depends on your circumstances, where you live, your relationship with your wife, whether you have other family living nearby, etc.

I live in a small town in Montana, 15 to 30 minute drive to several trailheads, option to ride from the house and get to trails. My kids are now 14 and 19, so I have more flexibility that you do. 

However, my kids were toddlers once also, and those years were the most challenging--I faced a similar conundrum as you are now facing. My solution was:

--I quit my job and became self-employed. This allowed me to set my own schedule, in theory. In reality, the huge time commitment of being an entrepreneur distracted me from the fact that I was not riding my bike, skiing the backcountry, etc. But I did work walking distance from my house so I could see my kids at breakfast and dinner most days. Honestly, those years are a hazy blur now.

--Day care can be a life saver, if it is a good one. Both the kids were in day care, which freed us both up during those hours. In our case, this meant one of us parents was more likely to be happy to handle both kids while the other carved out a couple pre-scheduled hours to go do something, because we did not have the kids 24/7.

--Be organized. Treat your activities as appointments that are just as important as business meetings. Obviously, you need to negotiate and balance this, but thinking through the schedule ahead of time can reduce conflict that comes up when one person wants to spontaneously go ride or hit a yoga class without warning.

--It gets easier. Once the kids are in school and begin to have more activities, you might find yourself freed up. Also, once they are old enough to bike or ski themselves, you can take them with you more. After about 14, they might start doing things more independently of you. That might seem far away now, but it's really not.

Again, what works for you depends on your circumstances and mindset. Good luck, hope you figure it out!


----------



## chris.dwyerperkins (Jul 20, 2015)

First a bit of back ground. I'm 25 with a 1 1/2 year old. I'm also a full time student with a part time job to try and pay the bills.

What I tend to do is the early morning rides. Anywhere from 5-6am I'll be on the trail. This gives me a good 1-2 hrs before the little one wakes up. Most times I'm just getting in the door and walk into the little ones room and get him changed and feed him. Tends to be waking up right as I get home. Then I take my spare "dad and son" time bike and bike him to the daycare. Then after classes I bike him home. Lucky for me, when I look out my collage classroom window I see the daycare across the street 

I also have 2-3 nights a week where I got on a larger group ride. This is scheduled so we can always plan care for him as the days don't change.

One huge thing is that you have to talk about all of this with all party's involved, and you have to force some time to be together with the family.

Here are the bikes I use. 
First is the "dad and son" bike. 









And this is my trail bike. 









Having one bike you can dedicate to you AND the kids is key. This way everyone can be involved in your hobby and it may one day become a hobby they may want to be part of long term!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Cotharyus (Jun 21, 2012)

There's also a podcast about this:

Being Dad Show - Mountain Bike Radio


----------



## MendonCycleSmith (Feb 10, 2005)

Mine's 21 so I'm done with that portion of the situation, yet I'm still left with this nagging habit I picked up when he was maybe 3 or 4. 

3 nights a week, around the time he'd be in bed anyway, and my wife would have had time to see me, eat dinner as a family, and give her some "alone" time while we played together before and after dinner (I'd do bath time and reading before bed time too), I'd load up the bike, the beer, meet a few friends, kick on the lights and own the night for an hour or two. 

Kid's gone, yet I'm still night riding. Frankly, at this point, I actually prefer it, and never need sunblock either......

Once he was old enough, much like the others here, I'd take him with me to a local park, and he's quite a rider now too.


----------



## SWriverstone (Sep 3, 2009)

Great responses all! (I'm the OP and catching up after a couple days.) First to address the couple folks who say I'm a whining idiot loser, I guess I'm just smiling and shaking my head. 

I've got absolutely nothing against MTBers who are single and/or kidless. Nothing at all. I'm just saying that I'm certain there are a ton of those folks here on MTBR—and that their situation in life is radically different than being a parent. Am I envious of them? Sure—but it's not a "gonna stalk you and kill you" envy, just a normal healthy envy.

And to whoever (sort of) implied I sit around and watch TV and drink beer, LMAO! We don't have a TV, and I drink maybe one beer a week. (I probably ought to drink more! LOL) I work my ass off as a marketing director at a major university 50hrs/week on average. The rest of the time I'm either riding with the family (pulling the kids, first in trailers and now on Wee-Hoo's), playing drums in a band, reading, or doing other constructive things around the house. (I'm FAR from a lazy couch bum.)

I do have one disadvantage (that I accept because I love her): my wife is NOT someone who enjoys working out on her own—she just won't do it. Which sucks, because if she did, it would be a simple matter of taking turns watching the kids. But generally, she won't go out and ride unless I do it with her or we ride as a family. 

As I mentioned earlier, we've been pulling the kids in trailers (and now the Wee-Hoo's) for a few years. But at 2 and 4 (almost 3 and 5) I think pulling the kids has got to end. My wife has a hard time with that because she likes the workout (of pulling them) and doesn't like the slow/walking pace of letting the kids ride their own bikes (with training wheels at the moment). But I think we're definitely at the point where it's time to really start pushing hard to get the kids riding for real.

We don't currently have a babysitter, but I'm gonna find one. We're in an especially tough transitional period at the moment because we just relocated cross-country (from West Virginia to Oregon) and have no relatives out west and few friends (we just moved here 4-5 months ago). Life would definitely be better if we could get away from the kids 1-2 times a week for a few hours. (Especially in summer.)

I also completely agree with the people who posted that it's important to set a good example and show your kids that you have a life outside of them. Unfortunately, I'm not sure my wife agrees—like many (but not all) moms, she's a bit of a helicopter mom who has devoted pretty much her whole life to our kids. Not healthy IMO, so I'll work with her on that.

I also realize that kids are especially tough when they're toddlers. Our daughter (4, 5 in November) is FINALLY getting to the point where she can hike long distances (meaning several miles) on her own. We still have to carry our 3-year-old son a lot of the time. (As an aside, I often get grueling workouts hauling my 38-lb son on my back on hikes up mountain peaks...so grueling at his weight I'm about to stop doing it!)

Finally, I think what sometimes happens is that forums like MTBR are typically dominated by people who ride a LOT. As in, every day and all weekend long. Nothing wrong with that at all—it's perfectly normal. These are often the people who advance the sport and make things happen, so good on them! 

And it's perfectly normal—and okay—if you're a busy parent who's lucky to ride once a week, and you feel a bit bummed and/or envious when you're "virtually surrounded" by people who are posting away like mad about this epic ride or that amazing trip or the regular rides they do every weekday.

I don't regret having a family for a second. I love my kids and my wife, and love spending time with them. But I love riding too, and it's okay to want to have my cake and eat it too. And everyone's entitled to whine a little. If you NEVER whine about a thing, I'd say you have some serious issues of your own (like you're either a Puritan, a workaholic, or are constantly running from something...)

Scott


----------



## Fleas (Jan 19, 2006)

I will say, with only one daughter, it's not too hard.

I do ride early if I want a big ride. Usu. only on Sunday. Sometimes I will plan to meet my wife and daughter at someplace far away, be it for breakfast, biking, hiking, swimming, etc., and I will ride and they will drive.
I might get to a big group ride or a camping trip a few times a year (where I usually get my a$$ handed to me by all my buddies who have been riding more consistently - they love it because I did the same to them when their kids were small :lol.

I rode many short, hard rides early this year while my daughter was at track practice. I rode my bike to her meets while they drove.

I ride at night.

We have had a child seat, a trail-a-bike (I have seen a tandem trail-a-bike, and I even saw one he-man with a trail-a-bike with a Burley trailer - not sure how safe that is...), and we have always had a tandem. My daughter is on her 4th bike as she keeps growing.

Make some play dates with other kids. Drop your kids off for a couple few hours and go ride. Of course, you'll have to host from time to time, too.

...and most importantly, I make sure my wife gets equal time as myself. The girls are at a bit of a disadvantage: she wouldn't run at night, or far into the woods alone, which kinda restricts her outings a little, so I try to give her the opportunities that work better for her. I don't really have those same limitations, so I will ride in the dark, rain, snow, etc. and leave the better days/times to her.

Another option is to treat MTBing like a league sport. Designate the same time every week to participate, even if it's just you. I had this luxury for several years until my wife changed jobs. I basically took every Tuesday after work. I would ride from 5pm 'til sometimes 9 or even 10, then stop off for wings and beer on the way home. By the time I got home everyone was in bed. Of course, the wife got her 4 or 5 hours some other time.

-F


----------



## moefosho (Apr 30, 2013)

It sounds like you have your priorities straight. 
Intentional time investing in your children will yield a far greater reward than riding a bike. 
It's about finding the right balance.
If needed get up super early before anyone is awake and ride. Ride after the kids go to bed. 
A lot of riders I know have their priorities wrong. Divorces, etc.


----------



## TheGweed (Jan 30, 2010)

SWriverstone said:


> I might be wrong, but I'd be willing to bet that the majority of people on this site aren't parents...because, to put it simply, if some people here have kids, they could never ride as much as they do without (IMO) being a crappy parent and never being around their kids.
> 
> Now hold on! Don't go jumping all over me for sounding judgemental!
> 
> Maybe some people here have highly permissive wives or husbands who are fine sitting at home with the kids while you go off and play all day?


I think this part may have rubbed some people the wrong way. Good luck in your quest.


----------



## MTBeing (Jan 11, 2012)

I have a wife not unlike the OP's but I also like to spend as much time with my kids as possible. I ride at 5:30 in the am on weekdays, usually before anyone wakes up but Saturday AM is MY time. Longer rides, 2-3 hrs long and my wife accepts this. Sunday mornings, no ridey.


----------



## MendonCycleSmith (Feb 10, 2005)

Just to reiterate, night riding, FTW.


----------



## slapheadmofo (Jun 9, 2006)

thegweed said:


> Laugh all you want, but you cannot say the above without being called a whining idiot.


Sounds like somebody that's trying to figure out how to strike a balance to me.
You on the other hand sound like someone who's going out of their way to be a dick.


----------



## KevinGT (Dec 25, 2012)

slapheadmofo said:


> Sounds like somebody that's trying to figure out how to strike a balance to me.
> You on the other hand sound like someone who's going out of their way to be a dick.


Did you miss the part where the OP clearly called anyone who HAS found the balance a "crappy parent?"

How about his other thread where he blamed his lack of speed on his genetic makeup versus being 20 pounds overweight?


----------



## TheGweed (Jan 30, 2010)

slapheadmofo said:


> Sounds like somebody that's trying to figure out how to strike a balance to me.
> You on the other hand sound like someone who's going out of their way to be a dick.


You know what? You're right. I edited my post to more accurately reflect my feelings.


----------



## ElwoodT (Mar 13, 2011)

Your circumstances would be different if your wife supported your habit. There's enough time to be a good dad/husband and ride bikes a couple/few time a week. 
I'm married with two kids btw.


----------



## slapheadmofo (Jun 9, 2006)

KevinGT said:


> Did you miss the part where the OP clearly called anyone who HAS found the balance a "crappy parent?"
> 
> How about his other thread where he blamed his lack of speed on his genetic makeup versus being 20 pounds overweight?


I haven't done any cross-thread stalking of the OP, sorry.
I also have a different take on what the 'crappy parent' comment construes, and my take is probably a lot more in line with the way he meant it than yours. Feel free to get bent about it though if that's what makes you happy.


----------



## voghan (Aug 18, 2014)

You need to make time for yourself. Ride after work: I can take my bike to work and hit a local trail that is close to my office. Ride at night: We rotate who gives baths and puts the kids down for the night so on her nights I'll ride. Ride early: I've been known to set an alarm for 6am on Saturdays so I can get in a 20 mile ride and get back by 10:30. Typically everyone else is sleeping in on the weekends so being gone isn't a big deal. 

Once they get older it will be a lot easier to get in rides. My kids are now older and I will ride during their sports practices. Both you and your wife really need to find time for yourselves and not feel guilty about it. Eventually your kids will be big enough to join you and you'll have a great activity you can all do together.


----------



## micky (Jan 28, 2004)

You have only so much time for things. Work, family, tv/computer, house chores, etc. Something has to give. For me tv at night. kids went to bed, wife collapsed, strapped on lights and went nightriding....oftentimes alone. Rides on weekends were shorter (with older kids and activities, riding can be more challenging), and anything that can be done to help at the house was done (brownie points) for the occasional group rides.

Having a family is a responsibility (one I gladly take), if you want to keep riding, think of alternatives....ride to work, ride at lunch, ride at night or ride in the morning. But something will have to give....and for me, that was parking my butt on a couch to stare at a tv.


----------



## ColinL (Feb 9, 2012)

slapheadmofo said:


> I haven't done any cross-thread stalking of the OP, sorry.


It doesn't take stalking when the OP creates two threads in General within a short timeframe, and they're both kind of... uh... interesting and provocative?


----------



## slapheadmofo (Jun 9, 2006)

If this is a 'provocative' subject to you, you're way too easily provoked.


----------



## ColinL (Feb 9, 2012)

slapheadmofo said:


> If this is a 'provocative' subject to you, you're way too easily provoked.


I think you have me confused for someone else, or perhaps you just really like snappy one-liners.

The first post contains what many read as a judgment of others, offering only two conditions: riding less or being a crappy parent. While it's a fallacy, I happen to think it was a poor choice of words, and that he has created the thread looking for actual suggestions.

I _noticed_ that the OP created two threads, as I'm sure others did. I'm not fixated upon it, or him. Good day. :thumbsup:


----------



## SWriverstone (Sep 3, 2009)

For the record, I shouldn't have said "crappy parent." I can see how that sounds judgmental and harsh. My bad.

A common web problem is people latching onto a few words without viewing them in context. In my thread about slow-twitch, I never once blamed my issues on genetics. I was asking to what extent genetics stacks the deck either for or against you? That's all. In the same thread (multiple times) I freely admitted that yes, I'm 20lbs overweight (at least) and need to lose it. I also said it's hard when you have a high-pressure job and a wife and kids. That's all.

On the other hand, super-fit people who worked their butts off to get fit...and then criticize less fit people as whiners sounds to me a lot like conservatives saying "Nobody in this nation is poor unless they made poor life choices." Which has been proven beyond any shadow of a doubt to be complete bull$****. 

Scott


----------



## scar (Jun 2, 2005)

I agree that you need to make time for yourself. I found that riding before work at 5 am with a few friends worked best for me. I found that if I got up early and got my needs met first thing, then I was much more willing to make the required sacrifices for the family the rest of the day. Trying to get a ride later in the day/evening was just a recipe for not riding. Too easy to make excuses - too tired, to many other things to do, something always seemed to get in the way. Now I only ride at 5 am in the morning as we have the trails to ourselves :thumbsup:




***


----------



## Cinq (Jan 2, 2003)

My boys are almost 9 and 12 now so the often come with me on rides. When they were much younger, I went out riding on Sunday morning with my bike buddies. We have a great forest not far from home which makes it easy to save time on travel to and from the trails. Nowadays, we only have 2 permitted trails but 10 years ago it was less of a problem to take other tracks too.

Kind regards,

Clemens


----------



## Lou Z. Ryder (Sep 9, 2014)

I don't think the value of your hobby to your sanity should be underestimated. Of course you have to make sacrifices as a parent, but you won't be a good parent if you lose your mind. 
I start to get miserable and grouchy if I can't get out and do my thing at least every once in a while, for a little while; and that's not good for me or my family. 
OP, you say and your wife can't take turns watching the kids because she doesn't like to exercise alone, but isn't there be something else she'd like to get away for?
I love it when my wife goes out on weekend nights with her friends, 'cause I get to stay up late with my son, eating ice cream and reading tons of bedtime stories ... And go riding in the morning


----------



## terrasmak (Jun 14, 2011)

My kids are 2 and 3.5 , I ride my roadbike at night in the summer, drag them in the Burly when the weather is nice and make 1/2 days trips to the local trails every couple weeks. 

That is life , till the kids get older, I do what I can with my hobbies.


----------



## jonz (Mar 23, 2009)

My three boys are: almost four, 2 1/2, 5 months. I have an 8-5 job, M-F, with a 1hr commute both ways. My wife is home with the kids all day, 5 days a week, so I'm sensitive to when I'm taking extra time to do my own rides.

-On weekends I do rail trail rides with the older two boys, with one in a Burley trailer and one in an iBert. They could both fit in the Burley, but I think it would be a sh!t-show, and both love the iBert, so they trade-off. I have an old rigid gary fisher hardtail with road slicks that I use exclusively for family rides. Our rides are usually in the 10-15 mile range and often times we'll stop at the park for an hour halfway through the rides. I get the sense that my oldest is starting to lose interest in these rides, unless we are definitely going to the park, and he'd rather be at home riding his own bike. Having started the two older boys in the trailer at 6 months (in car seat,) he'll probably transition out of the rail trail rides soon, and I'll take the younger two instead. (I don't have the capacity for all three unless mom is joining us.) My oldest has logged about 850 miles. 

-Most of my personal rides are late evening rides. Weekday AM rides are not an option because my wife goes to the gym every morning, returning right before I leave for work. I get home from work, play with the kids for awhile, have dinner, give baths, put all three kids to bed at 8pm and immediately head out. I have two decent trail systems within 2 miles of my house that I ride to. No screwing around with the car. As someone else said, eliminating transit time to rides can be a huge factor. There are more epic trail systems 30 minutes from home that I used to ride, they're just going to have to wait a few years until I can come back to them on a regular basis. My rides are usually only in the 1hr to 1.5hr range, twice a week. Occasionally I'll also get out for a weekend ride, it just depends on the circumstances.


----------



## GT5050 (Jan 23, 2008)

SWriverstone said:


> On the other hand, super-fit people who worked their butts off to get fit...and then criticize less fit people as whiners sounds to me a lot like conservatives saying "Nobody in this nation is poor unless they made poor life choices." Which has been proven beyond any shadow of a doubt to be complete bull$****.
> 
> Scott


Dude, really? Trying to debunk unsubstantiated blanket statements with an unsubstantiated blanket statement?

Anyway, actionable steps:
Identify what you do spend time on, then categorize
Non-negotiable (work, etc.)
Negotiable (chores, errands,etc.)
Time vacuums (long Mtbr posts, web surfing, porn, TV, etc)

Try to schedule the negotiable to be more efficient or completed at better times, and try to cut out or minimize the time vacuums.

Usually when one complains about lack of time or money, myself included, it's lack of efficiency that's the problem. More time (or money) often means more wasted.


----------



## droanx (Jun 10, 2012)

I have three kids aged 2-7yo. I also have a wife that has lots of health issues unfortunately. However, I ride 5 days a week. I am very lucky in that I have a work from home job and can drop the kids at school and get an hour or 2 ride in every morning. Weekends are tougher, wake up super early and ride. Basically, I ride when no one is home to notice and on weekends I am home by 10-11a.


----------



## gzank6 (Aug 26, 2014)

my wife doesn't insist I spend tons of quality time with my kids... I insist I spend tons of quality time with my kids. heck, i love these little buggers (7 and 3) and try to drag them along every where i go. I've only been MTB for about a year and a half but was a roadie before that. Saturdays have become my riding mornings... yes i get out of the house between 5:30 and 6am. I ride often with a couple of guys, all have kids. I get in 3 to 4 hour rides at that time unless we have some event early that day. I could sneak in sunday but i try not to push it. I'm lucky to live 4-7 miiles to trails, i usually ride to them to get more miles in instaed of driving. I also have a small hill with some trails just undre a mile away. If I get a hour of time.. i'm out the door hitting those trails... sometimes I run those trails. I've taken my bike to work get there an hour early and take a long lunch. There's some nice trails a few miles away, I take a milk jug full of water and rinse off before i head back to work. Now and then my mom watches my boys while i'm working from home (2 days a week) and i usually sneak out to the local trail for an hour.

Its not easy, i commute 1.5 hours each way thankfully i work from home two days a week. I've pulled the kids in a trailer on my road bike, the 7 year old now rides little trails with me while i tug the 3 year old in a bike seat. Soon he'll be big enough for my trail a bike and we'll all hit the trails together. 

I take this guys with me as much as I can and I hate to leave one of them behind. Occassionally I'll just take the older one when the younger is napping and we'll go fishing or riding. I might bargain with the wife and say I need some more time to get a longer ride in and she's cool with it... she knows how much I spend with the boys and with her. Do i wish I could ride more.... sure... but I know in time these guys will be joining me on the trails... and then they'll be busy with their own endeavors and then girls will come and dad will be second fiddle.... so I'm enjoying it while i can.


----------



## Metamorphic (Apr 29, 2011)

That's just a suck kid age for having a life when you're a parent. You just have to get used to the fact that pretty much everything is secondary to micromanaging the kids through the next half dozen years. 

Probably your best bet is to move closer to whichever grandma is more awesome and score a bunch of free baby-sitting. Next best bet is to step up with the taking over the kid care so the wife can have some time off and hope she reciprocates.


----------



## Trail Fever Diaries (Jul 22, 2015)

When I was newly married and the baby was still a year old, I barely had time to ride. I started to suck at riding. It continued until my daughter turned 3, after that though I learned how to adjust and my wife started giving me more leeway on my bike days. I run my own business so in some days, it gets really busy while on some days, it can get pretty chill. I find time to ride my bike at least 30 minutes(high cadence spinning) in a day for a bout 3 times in a week just to keep my cardio and endurance. On some days, I choose not to ride but do something with my wife and daughter for quality time. It doesn't have to be something complex, and can be as simple as playing hide and seek with the little girl or a dine out (with no cellphones/gadgets). On the weekends, I have one day for the family and one day for mountain biking. The important thing is that, one that one day with the family, you have to focus completely on the family. No browsing MTBR, Pinkbike, nothing bike related. If I had another child though, it might change, but in the end, it's all about time management.


----------



## Francis Cebedo (Aug 1, 1996)

This thread needs moar photos. And videos


----------



## gzank6 (Aug 26, 2014)

I forgot... my kids love to hear about my rides. The moment I get back. .. they ask how it was... what did I see... any wildlife. If I took pics and then if I took the gopro they want to see it.


----------



## mtbzarg (Oct 6, 2011)

Interesting thread...

I think it's a matter of priorities for me personally.

I've been married for 20 years now and have 5 kids (ages 8 yrs to 19 yrs now). I'll admit I took a long break from riding. That was by my choice alone. 

My wife didn't grow up on a bicycle like I did. She really didn't have an interest, but always supported me and my desire to go riding. Just like how I support her in her interests/hobbies. It takes effort and coordination between the 2 of us, but it's worth it! 

As my kids were ready I taught them how to ride. When they felt comfortable I then took them out on some beginner trails. Some of my kids (mainly my oldest son) love it. My other son and 2 daughters... not so much  Now my 8 year old just got her first 20" mtb and is chompin at the bit to go riding!

As gzank6 has stated my kids love to see pictures and hear the stories after each ride. I enjoy taking them and let them create their own stories...


----------



## jerschwab (Dec 31, 2013)

ARandomBiker said:


> I have two kids, boys- 1 1/2 & 4. I'm also in grad school.
> for me, it's quality over quantity.
> I ride about 2-3 times a month, usually a Sunday morning. I usually try and sandwich it in between dawn and breakfast, so I can do my hobby when it doesn't impact anyone but me and then the rest of the weekend is family time. I'm out the door in the dark and at the trailhead shortly after 5am this time of year, and try to be home by 8:30.
> I just try and make it the best ride I can. 2-3 hours of the most enjoyment I can put together on a bike, about every other weekend. Occasionally I'll get an unexpected opportunity to ride mid-week if I have a late morning class and the kids are going to Grandma's daycare anyway, my wife will take them and I'll cram in a 60-90 minute ride before 9am.
> ...


I feel for ya man! Keep on keepin' on!


----------



## jerschwab (Dec 31, 2013)

I trained for and rode several endurance mtb races (3-4 hours +) after basically being completely inactive in my life. After a year, I then trained for and ran two 6-7 hour trail ultramarathons (50k trail races) with a 3 (almost 4) year old daughter... just in time before we had our second. Make no mistake, it was a ton of training and it wasn't easy with a family.

I trade off time with my wife and have no problem waking up early or ducking out of work or being totally flexible with how I can get a workout in. I often run/ride at lunch as well and commute to/from work (running and biking). Lots of negotiating and having an understanding wife who at least respects this new passion in my life.

That being said, I have a newborn now and make sure I'm home when it counts. I enjoy the time I have with my kids and try to get them (or at least the 4yr old so far) involved whenever I can. We got a kid carrier for hiking and bike trailer and I'll use them when I can... since I'm more fit than my wife it slows me down and gives me a workout without feeling I need to go hard. I'll hike, run, walk, bike, swim, yoga, explore... whatever just to get something in. With the second one now, I stopped being so worried about races and strict training schedules but somehow can fit in 8-10 hours a week (yeah, I have a lot of flexiblity in my job). I switched from endurance racing to shorter stuff and am PR'ing everything.

I do live vicariously through others that can go hike or ride all day or do weekend trips... but that's fine. I appreciate what I can get and my family most importantly! In free time I plan for those kinds of adventures, so if I get some time at the last minute I can go adventure.

I do run/ride etc. by myself... that kinda sucks but I feel the most freedom and flexibility that way. I can't wait for other people's schedules or spend half of my available time waiting, meeting etc. so I tend to just get out whenever I can and leave right from my front door. 

Anyhow... find ways. There are ways... there's flexibility to be had. You need people that understand, and it certainly helps to involve the family.

I'm passionate about trails. I'm glad to be just exercising after being a fatso lazy ass my whole life. Hell, I got my daughter into geocaching... any way I can to get them out on the trails! I'll do the same with my son now... and my wife too. Hikes, bikes, whatever... I love it all.


----------



## slapheadmofo (Jun 9, 2006)

fc said:


> This thread needs moar photos. And videos


Awesome.

I think if you're lucky enough that your kid gravitates toward riding, like mine ended up doing, in the early years it's wildly important to just get to know your kid and spend a ton of time with them doing all sorts of stuff. To allow a young kid to really ride hard, or do any sort of risky athletic endeavour at a high level for that matter, means being comfortable that they can exercise good judgment and know their limits. I've always struggled with the balance between safety and progression with my son. I know he can ride at a much higher level than I can, so it makes it tough to know where to draw the line. Don't want to hold him back, but don't want to see him get dinged up badly either.


----------



## BennTron (May 23, 2015)

Mate, i hear you. I have a 2 and a 5 year old. I make sure I've got all boxes ticked, so my wife can not object. Meaning, doing as much as is humanly possible around the house, cooking,cleaning organising the family and the like. Then, instead of watching TV, at night, I'm riding. Granted my local trails are a five minute peddle away. But night riding is awesome, less/no people and you really do get into a flow in your tunnel of light! I also commute by bike, so when I'm hitting the trails my fitness is still in check.
Good luck with it.


----------



## jj011185 (Apr 25, 2014)

im just a regular joe, i have 1 kid age 7. I used to do XC rides on weekdays 10kms for 5 days, trail 20kms on weekend. and i work 40hrs a week.

what i do is, i bike to work really early morning (6am) and on my way home i took longer route going home. spend 1hr xc climb going home.

on weekend is a little bit challenging as I have to make sure i get home before 12pm... sometimes i drink a lot of coffee when i get home just to get enough energy to make up the rest of the day and spend time with family on weekends.


----------



## jj011185 (Apr 25, 2014)

OP, there's a lot suggestions you can try from this thread and find a little balance for yourself. working 8-5 you can probably ride early morning, i would prefer early morning rather than late night, (morning person here). bringing your bike to work is a start either you ride them or put them in your car.


----------



## Jim Mac (Jun 29, 2004)

I have 2 kids but they are fairly spaced out - 2 and 8. In that way I was lucky to work with my wife & build in ride time with kid #1. Even so, my rides were shorter & closer to home. 

As kid #1 got more into riding this eventually lead to us both racing BMX at our local track - great way to ride together. As kid #2 came in, we both ended up relying on BMX racing more than any other type of riding - maybe being at the track 3x a week max. Maybe it's easier to justify from my end so that I get a good workout? I also used to race BMX as a kid and DH as an adult, so fast, intense racing is in my blood a bit.

What happened in this equation, however, is that my wife essentially gave up riding for the last 2 years with the little one. We're trying to reconcile that now by finding her some space for her to get out and going on family rides with me towing the 2 year old). 

The lesson for me in all this is that even in my unique situation, compromises had to be made. I'm sure you will have to consider this in your situation as well.


----------



## ghettocruiser (Jun 21, 2008)

Very young kids = Ride out the storm. Most of my riding is in the context of commuting to work or going somewhere. It means no club rides or drive-to-riding-destination, and it often means spending a sunny Saturday morning with the kids at the park, and then heading out for a ride Saturday evening into a steady rain. But it's saddle time.

My kids are now riding faster and further every month. Someday I'll be making *their* rides slower and lamer.


----------



## Walt (Jan 23, 2004)

Live right by trails. And ride at night if needed.

-Walt


----------



## goodmojo (Sep 12, 2011)

Metamorphic said:


> That's just a suck kid age for having a life when you're a parent. You just have to get used to the fact that pretty much everything is secondary to micromanaging the kids through the next half dozen years.
> 
> Probably your best bet is to move closer to whichever grandma is more awesome and score a bunch of free baby-sitting. Next best bet is to step up with the taking over the kid care so the wife can have some time off and hope she reciprocates.


I strongly disagree with this. Never put your own life secondary to your kids. You don't have to, it simply isn't necessary. I have kids 7, 2 and 4 weeks


----------



## ColinL (Feb 9, 2012)

ghettocruiser said:


> My kids are now riding faster and further every month. Someday I'll be making *their* rides slower and lamer.


:thumbsup:

Love it...said the same thing to my brother-in-law when we were riding on vacation in Colorado. "In 2 years my son will be 10 and out here riding with us, and 2 years after that he'll probably gap us, then 2 years after that he will be waiting at the top for us."

Early morning riding as a parent of an infant or toddler is not that bad. I've had a few moments with batteries dying and then riding around in the dark, and if you ride tubeless you'll have very few flats.


----------



## Wames (Feb 1, 2008)

Like all good marriages, COMMUNICATE!!!

I have a 9yo step son but when I met my wife, he was 4. Of course during the dating stage I rode whenever but once we married the schedule was rough to find time. He doesn't do anything outside, he hates anything that makes him breath hard or sweat so no-go in riding with him. We had him 80% of the time because she was still hashing things out with her ex. The past couple years we finally went to a 50/50 time split so riding is much easier. 

Coming from a woman (yes, I am a woman married to another woman) trade your time with your wife to have time to ride. Don't make the mistake of expecting her to make that time for you cause even if she does do that for you, she will resent the hell out of it later so don't get in the habit of taking advantage. Communicate with her, set a schedule of time for you to ride and for her to do whatever she wants, ride, read, sleep, whatever. When its your time to hang with the kiddos encourage her to go and have fun. If you rode after work, help bath the kids, put them to bed, etc. Also, on a weekend day, take one of the kiddos with you to pull along. Adds to workout and she gets to spend time alone with one of the kids.

I have to make my wife leave sometimes, like throw her out the house. She feels guilty about leaving him but she needs the time off. He needs the time away from her and we all need a break to do something that feeds up as a person. In the end, it will make you a better dad, husband and I think it sets a great example to your children that taking care of your self is important.


----------



## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

(wife and mother stepping in here, mom to two now adult kids)

There are a lot of good suggestions here. Personally I can't relate to the "get permission from the wife" or "whether she'll let me out" comments as my 30+year marriage doesn't work that way. Communicate, compromise, respect, take turns. We work as a team until all the work is done, or we have a mutual agreement to blow things off like yard work and go camping. 

I'm the mountain biker, my hubby has whitewater passion. Try coordinating that with two little kids. Communicate, compromise, respect, take turns. I'd do a lot of week day riding and then drive shuttle/watch the kids on the weekends when he was boating. We'd buckle down and do chores together so we both could get out and play. It's totally do able.


----------



## ask (Aug 18, 2009)

*Early mornings and kid trailers...*

My wife works shift work, tons of OT, and many/most weekends. We have 2 boys (4 and 8) and full schedules. Ride / family / work balance is tough. I get in rides where I can. Most of my rides are early morning, quick up and down spins. I get in weekend group rides when I can, but they are few and far between. I often ride with the boys. We have a couple trailers, and several kid sized bikes. We ride, hangout, eat, explore mudding creeks, checkout the animals, and get as dirty as possible.

I also have a pretty rad wife that doesn't mind our garage being full of bikes, family trips to Tahoe/Downieville, and kicks me out at dawn to go ride. That helps too.


----------



## Mountainking7 (Nov 8, 2014)

bankerboy said:


> Night lights were invented for this exact reason. After the kids go to bed, you have the entire night to ride whenever you want.


Great tgread. Reading it now. I've been in the ssme boat of the OP for the last 6 years. 2 kids aged 6 and 2 and a half. 
I can only squeeze one ride week for 1-2 hours. 3 hours once in a while if I'm lucky. Nowhere near what I want. 3 rides week and one of at least 4 hours! In summer, I try to plan the rides very early morning. Else, its a case of getting everything done (groceries, cooking, taking children out etc) before going for a ride.

I've been gradually warning up to the idea of night rides. Been gearing up since the start of the year for adequate lighting and proper clothing. Just ordered the final piece of the jigsaw today... A tail lamp. So in about 2 months, once it is symmer, 2 night short rides involving high intensity and repeats/intervals...


----------



## Daved1 (Jul 22, 2015)

When the kids were younger I had a seat on the front and a trailgator on the rear. I was limited to tow paths and old railway lines but at least I got out. 
Now the kids are older I get out for aleast 1 evening and try to get out Sunday mornings with the occasional weekend away now catching up on 10 years of lost fitness


----------



## wagonguy1989 (Jun 19, 2015)

Wames said:


> Like all good marriages, COMMUNICATE!!!
> 
> I have a 9yo step son but when I met my wife, he was 4. Of course during the dating stage I rode whenever but once we married the schedule was rough to find time. He doesn't do anything outside, he hates anything that makes him breath hard or sweat so no-go in riding with him. We had him 80% of the time because she was still hashing things out with her ex. The past couple years we finally went to a 50/50 time split so riding is much easier.
> 
> ...


i like your POV, if you treat the wife right (spend some time with kids, give her some extra "lovin") then low and behold, SHE will make time for YOU to ride... or ride together... i have a 3yr old, and one coming... i get a lot of riding commuting to work and back LOL, but when i want to ride for fun, i just ask, and recieve lol...

i guess im luck to have a very understanding wifey... (she bought me my fatbike for fathers day)

simple fact is... time is time... just prioritize and you will find it, even if that means 4-5 hours of sleep so you can go ride


----------



## Grease Monk3y (Jul 2, 2013)

Hey SWriverston,

I'm married and have 3 energetic boys, 7, 5 and 3 

I actually got back into the sport after a ~ 12+ year hiatus. 

You know who pushed me? It was my wife, who also wants me to spend lots of time with the boys as well. She really wanted me to get some exercise and have a "hobby" outside work. 

That was 3 years ago... I usually ride Friday mornings (I work Sunday's- Thursday's so Friday = Sunday for me) and head out between 5:30 - 6:30 and do a 25-40 km ride on my local trails. We're usually back by somewhere between 9:30 - 10:30/11:00 depending. I'll also occasionally go for a ride on my local bike path just to stay fit later at night during the work week. And yes I barely sleep, work a lot so that I can play.

I try to take my boys for rides on the bike path in the hope that one day I'll be hitting my local trails with them 

I guess I'm really lucky that it was my wife who pushed me to get back into biking.


----------



## Trackho (Sep 23, 2011)

SWriverstone said:


> @Rocky Mtn-sounds like you were lucky enough to either not have a job, or work flexible hours (based on "early in the morning...back around lunch time"). I do the 8-5 thing.
> 
> Mornings are probably my best option...but only in summer/early fall. Forget it in the winter (unless I want to ride at night w/lights).
> 
> Scott


You answered your own question, I wake up at. 5:30am 3x a week. My girls are 7&9 been doing it for 5 years. Yep it's cold and dark in the winter- get a good light and man-up

I usually get a 3 hr window on the weekend to do longer rides


----------



## slapheadmofo (Jun 9, 2006)

Mountainking7 said:


> Been gearing up since the start of the year for adequate lighting and proper clothing.


You don't need anything different than what you already have besides a light. No need to put 8 months of prep-time into it.


----------



## Mountainking7 (Nov 8, 2014)

slapheadmofo said:


> You don't need anything different than what you already have besides a light. No need to put 8 months of prep-time into it.


Lol. I take my time to buy my stuff . For example, took me quite a while to get sorted on my front lighting and it was the Fenix BC30 for which I organised a group buy here. Then I got proper reflective clothing. Winter came by then so I just ordered my backlight. Now got to wait for better weathe to ride!


----------



## db440 (Jul 1, 2014)

I've certainly had to cut down time for other activities to facilitate my biking time and being the parent of a 2 year old (I have a 19 year old too), but as others have said here, it's about priorities. I would certainly ride more if my situation were different, but I get out 2-4 times a week, and my partner is very supportive. It helps that she likes to run and work out too, so we can cover for each other.

Of course you want to spend quality time with your children, and it is invaluable and irreplaceable. I also agree strongly with those here who say you need not sacrifice yourself for the sake of your children. Mtn. biking is an important part of my existence at this point in life, for a few reasons, and it makes me a happier and healthier person to do it regularly. Having that understanding of my needs and being able to be a good example is important as a parent, in my opinion. My little girl is also very excited to talk to me about my riding, and will soon be pedaling herself around too. 

I also try to keep my life simple, my expenses down, and not to work all the time. It can be difficult to create the lifestyle you want in this money-centric society, but it can certainly happen, especially if you are able/willing to work with it.


----------



## Sarah Ireland (Jun 13, 2015)

I am a mountain biking mom. It is hard I feel guilty when I go on a long ride with only my dog. I have a 6 year old and we go on as many family bike rides as we can. I take her on easy trails or on bike paths. We have fun.

For me I have started the mountain bike training early. I want her bike skills to grow so I can get her on the trail with me soon. I am not pushing her but I am giving that nudge. 

I only get to do one long ride once a week if I am lucky. So I ride my bike to work a lot now. Part of my commute is threw a meadow. It keeps me in biking shape and I save a lot on gas. 

My advise is get your kids into biking asap. You don't have to do crazy hard trails all the time. If my daughter is with me having fun I will ride boring easy stuff all day long. She is getting and better and better every year.


----------



## Spectre (Jan 23, 2004)

It is amazing how quickly kids can get good at riding if they get out on trails often. I am lucky enough to be close to trails. Last year, when my younger son was 9 that he was moving along on singletrack at a pretty brisk pace.


----------



## KjellDaSensei (Jul 23, 2015)

I am in the same situation as the OP, with two children aged 2 and 4. 

Most days I take my bike out as soon as they're tucked in and asleep. Some days, my wife does the whole nightly routine with both the children, so I can go out a little earlier.

Of course, it helps a lot that I live so far north that the sun doesn't set at all during the summer, so we can ride all night while it's still light out. I live in Tromsø, Norway - look it up, it's beautiful.

I also live just a 3 minute ride from a network of gravel roads and trails that offer plenty of decent riding if you don't want to drive off for the more epic rides. That helps too.


----------



## yzedf (Apr 22, 2014)

I'm a stay at home dad. I ride 3-6x a week because I have an amazing wife. It helps that we live 5 minutes from a very dense trail system where I can do a nice 2-4hr ride and cover some ground or just do a brutal tough 6 mile ride in under an hour (local XC race course).


----------



## ProEdgeBiker (Jun 24, 2004)

My riding has gone down by 75% since my little one came 2.5yrs ago. 
Thankfully since she was tiny we would put her in the Burley. Now for her is like a treat to go on a ride whether to the park or to a restaurant. Looking forward to when we can ride together.

__
http://instagr.am/p/2OmSQjnSth/


----------



## PricklyPete (Sep 30, 2009)

I have twins who are almost 15 months and a third child arriving in Dec.

Plain and simple, I ride less. I have had to run more for exercise (kick ass park two blocks away).

That being said, I still prioritize riding a lot. I've done the following:

1) I go in early and leave work no later than 3. I can get an ok ride in (~10 miles) and be home by 5:30. I try to do this 1-2 times a week.

2) I get up at 4:30 on Saturday and try to get a good 25 miler in. Usually home no later than 10am depending on how far into the mountains I go.

3) I bought a condo in the mountains. It has a pool. I can go on decent rides in the mornings and often one in the afternoon while my wife enjoys the pool with or without the kids.

4) If this year is any indication, my wife will be heading East with the kids for 3-4 weeks to spend time with family. So far this has been a week and a half in March, 3 weeks in July and another week in September. This is when I plan my Moab/Fruita, Crested Butte, Salida, or more Steamboat condo time.

5) my wife is very aware of how important MTB is to me.

6) My wife doesn't work and is a fulltime mom. This actually doesn't give me as much time as you might think as it is a fulltime job and my wife is very anxious for me to get home so I can help and she can get other things done. Still, I think it is an advantage as I believe it makes our life less busy.

Kids are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I cherish them. I spend way more time with my kids than either my dad or my wife's dad ever did... and we feel we both had great parents.


----------



## Spectre (Jan 23, 2004)

Adding onto my post above, IF your kids get into riding, the equation actually flips when they get to a certain age. So we are headed to Bend, OR for a soccer tournament in several weeks. My older son age 13 is playing, but my younger son age 10 is not (though his soccer team has a tournament the previous week).

I realize that my younger son is going to be sitting around for 4 days and suggest to my wife that we bring his bike so he and I can get some rides in early in the morning in Bend. Knowing that it is helpful for my younger son to get some exercise, my wife thought this was a GREAT idea.

So I get to do something fun with my son, he burns off some energy before sitting around for the rest of the day watching his brother's soccer games, and I get one ride a day in a cool new place. It doesn't hurt that playing center midfielder on his soccer team has really built up my son's (actually same position for both sons) endurance. Oh, we're also going backpacking this weekend. One of the most fun and easiest things to do with kids.

So, play your cards right. Encourage but DON'T push your kids into riding and in several years, you might have a riding buddy (as well as a good excuse to get cool bike stuff for your kid). I am experimenting with air forks right now and am considering building up a pair of 24" Stan's Crest/DT 350 wheels for my younger son's new Cleary 24 that is coming in Sept to test out the performance improvement from lighter wheels and being able to run tubeless on a kids bike.


----------



## avatar4281 (Nov 6, 2012)

I ride with my kids 2 and 5. The 5 year old is pretty fast, and the 2 year old is still riding his Strider. I also customized the older ones Cannondale 14" with rear brake and bmx hubs to get rid of those stupid coaster brakes. 

You might ask, "But it's not real riding with them?" Well, I just learned trials! You can go really slow on the sidewalk next to your house and have it be as technical as you want! 

Generally though, I work part time at a bike shop and never get to go riding with the guys because I just can't take the time.


----------



## avatar4281 (Nov 6, 2012)

Spectre said:


> Encourage but DON'T push your kids into riding and in several years, you might have a riding buddy


I totally agree. I always want to ride my bike, but they don't, so we do other things as well.

Seriously, try trials! On the trials forums there are lots of dads who just got into it because it is fun to muck around on your bike while your little kids are learning to ride.


----------



## Guest (Jul 26, 2015)

Trailer, tailgater, tandem, small mtb, med mtb, large mtb, x-large mtb, repeat. My 15 year old is 6'4" and 180# so hopefully he's on his last bike on my dime.


----------



## Rae6503 (Jun 30, 2009)

My husband and I both ride. This year we both raced. He puts a lot of his training time in by commuting 17mi to work each way. We'll literally take turns on days we are both off (I go in the morning, he'll leave when I get home). Kids sleep a lot, go early, go late, etc. If your spouse doesn't ride, make sure to trade time anyway so resentment doesn't build up. How much ride and family time do you need? 1 long-ish weekend ride, maybe 1-2 evenings or mornings, should leave plenty of time for the kids, do fun things that make the family time really memorable (trips to the pool, museum, parks, etc), sitting around watching T.V. isn't really quality time anyway.


----------



## padrefan1982 (Mar 2, 2005)

Much of everything I'm sure has been said already, but my experience: (I have 2-year twin girls)

If needed, help your wife understand that biking's a passion for you. My wife actually is really good about letting me get out and ride. She knows this is my outlet and 'thing,' so she gets that me riding is better for everybody in the family.

Babysitters. I'm blessed as a teacher to have former students would LOVE to babysit for me, so I'm able to find sitters pretty frequently (and cheap/free) on a regular basis for me to ride, or wife to come along and ride when/as she likes.

Adjusting expectations--the ability to jump out for 25 mile epics is limited, so I've looked for dirt WHERE and WHEN I can find it. It may not be always sweet single track, but finding multiuse dirt trails behind my school to ride has been nice. I can get out for 45-60 mins after school's out and pick up the girls on the way home, for instance.

Getting the girls on balance bikes--since its summer, my girls are rocking their balance bikes all the time! Its not 'real riding' but they are always clamoring for daddy to come ride with them. Again, I'm not on single track, but its time on the bike, with the family. As a bonus, I feel like I'm training up a new generation of bikers to go out with dad on real trail in the future.

Location, location, location... not possible for all, but thinking about where you live. Wife and I are looking to move in the near future and part of the reason is to be closer to actual trails to cut travel time in half (opening up time for riding) Such we move, I'm also gonna spend some $$ on lights to ride at night when I can.

Just my 2 cents--


----------



## Brewtality (Jul 25, 2007)

My daughters are 9 & 11. The 11 yr old has taken up competitive travel softball as a lefty pitcher with a wicked screwball. Most of our free time is taken up with softball tournaments, team practices, trainer sessions, team activities, etc. Mountain biking? Not on the agenda anytime soon. 

When you have kids, it's all about what they want to do, not what you want to do. The bikes and the trails will still be there when they leave your home. Until then, you do everything you can to encourage and develop their interests.


----------



## MendonCycleSmith (Feb 10, 2005)

Brewtality said:


> When you have kids, it's all about what they want to do, not what you want to do.


Hmm....

While I'd agree, force feeding your interests to them regardless of their feelings is not a good call? Letting them take all the lead all the time, often ends up with obnoxious 13 year olds who refuse to eat anything but grilled cheese and only on Wonder bread.

My kid (21 now) rides, not as much as me, but still commutes by bike and hits the trail now and then, thanks to me. Listens to all sorts of great music (though sadly, hip hop too), thanks to both his parents, etc.

Exposing your kids to as many different whatevers as possible, makes well rounded, fully developed citizens of the world. They may balk at some, but before you know it, they love Lebanese food and are better at fly fishing than you!


----------



## NYrr496 (Sep 10, 2008)

I do my night rides and my Sunday morning rides with my friends, all of which have kids. 
My youngest is ten and is beginning to ride well enough that he can start going on bigger rides. 
I keep him from trails that are dangerous, like plummeting toward railroad tracks, so if I have a ride in mind and he wants to go, sometimes I have to alter the ride a little.


----------



## herrhaus (May 29, 2009)

I've got 4 chillins (12 down to 3). I've chose to be home now more than I have in the past...and instead of going for 2+ hour rides, I try to get only an hour (or less) rides in from the house (which means more road riding for me unfortunately). My kids have all gravitated towards the bike due to my influence. So, I try to ride with them as often as I can...and not push them to long rides and make it "un-fun".


----------



## cassa89 (Jun 30, 2014)

Early mornings before they're up and nights when they're in bed mostly for me. My little guys are 3 and 8, and my wife and I both work full time. I don't ride near as much as I like, but I also enjoy my time with the family.


----------



## bigflamingtaco (Oct 26, 2013)

My boys go on epic rides with me, I just tailor the epicness to their abilities. Muscle time is handled commuting to and from work. Not sure how getting some trail time is an issue, we MTB, road bike, kayak, canoe, white water, ski, hike, etc every year, and the boys are also in the BSA. Time management is probably key. Our DVR is loaded with stuff we never get around to watching. Be flexible, ready for drop-of-the-hat decisions to ride.

If you have to ask permission to ride, you're doing it wrong. I only check to see if there is a conflict in our plans.

Cheers.


----------



## Fleas (Jan 19, 2006)

This thread has snowballed pretty well.

Here's the final post to end the thread:











-F


----------



## MendonCycleSmith (Feb 10, 2005)

Fleas said:


> Here's the final post to end the thread:


I'll see you, and raise you....


----------



## ifouiripilay (Nov 11, 2005)

Work schedules, school, homework, and kid sports makes riding hard. I usually get 0-2 times to ride in a month sometimes requiring to pay a sitter. Each family has different obligations and support systems. Since my brother moved away I have no free sitter. Sometimes my ride time is to the park with all the kids(. 3/5/8) by myself. 
It's hard, I wish I can ride more but I'm happy when I do get a chance.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

Some of you people are just getting silly now. How about how this family did it








2 Bikes. 2 Toddlers. 1 Epic Family Adventure. | Murrs Across America


----------



## Miker J (Nov 4, 2003)

MendonCycleSmith said:


> Hmm....
> 
> While I'd agree, force feeding your interests to them regardless of their feelings is not a good call? Letting them take all the lead all the time, often ends up with obnoxious 13 year olds who refuse to eat anything but grilled cheese and only on Wonder bread.
> 
> ...


Agreed.

Ha! Grilled cheese and Wonder bread!!! Very true.

I just learned of the term"Helicopter Mom".

Athletics are something for the whole family. Compromise on both the parents and children's part is important.

My wife and I have FT jobs and 2 young kids, with no family support to sit. We do almost everything together. The kids will compromise and go on a ride with us, and push it hard, even when they feel lazy - if in exchange, for example, we then end the day with a swim in the river with the old truck tubes and rope swing and a can of soda/pop.


----------



## blockphi (Mar 26, 2012)

SWriverstone said:


> I'm a dad to two little kids (age 2 and 4). And I'm finding it damn difficult to find time to ride.
> 
> I might be wrong, but I'd be willing to bet that the majority of people on this site aren't parents...because, to put it simply, if some people here have kids, they could never ride as much as they do without (IMO) being a crappy parent and never being around their kids.
> 
> ...


When I was in a similar stage in life - three children between the ages of 1 and 5 I was not a cyclist, but a runner. Kids at that age sleep a lot. I would do my daily runs when they went to bed for the night and long runs on the weekends before they got up in the morning.

Now that they are older and I am a cyclist, I ride when they are busy with sports practice, early in the morning, late at night, or I try to coax them to come along with me.

I think it comes down much more to motivation. If it is something that you are passionate about, you'll find a way to fit it into the confines of your life.


----------



## MendonCycleSmith (Feb 10, 2005)

Miker J said:


> Athletics are something for the whole family. Compromise on both the parents and children's part is important.


Bribery will get you everywhere.

Hiking his first, above tree line peak, late winter, age ~8.

Every blessed turn in the trail, are we there yet, I'm tired, I wanna go back to the car, this is stupid, we should have gone into town and shopped instead, etc......

Broke out the Hershey chocolate 1/4 lb block, and tell him, one chunk, 10 minutes, no whining.

"Okay". He had a watch too, so sure enough, 10 minutes, "Daaad, are we there yet?", repeat bribe.

Finally got him up, blue bird day, temps in the mid 30's, several feet of snow. He spent an hour just wandering around, jumping off every boulder into it's accompanying drift.

Yammered the whole way down about how we should have stayed longer, when were we going to do it again, etc.

Kid pounded out close to 100 miles in less than a week with 60 lbs on his back at Philmont a few years later like it was his job. Still wants to be a staff member there once he's out of college.

Yeah, we should have turned around as soon as he started asserting his will!


----------



## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

Miker J said:


> Agreed.
> 
> I just learned of the term "Helicopter Mom".


seriously?


----------



## TwoTone (Jul 5, 2011)

Didn't read whole thread, but to me sounds like OP is measuring good parenting and relationship with the wrong stick.

Happy people make better parents than unhappy people that spend more time with their kids. My friends wife is constantly nagging him to call me to go ride. She knows he loves riding and it makes him happy so she pushes him to do it.

You have to have a crappy marriage if your wife is so unwilling to let you do something for yourself every so often and by default that makes the two of you crappier parents than those of us that ride, are happy and have understanding wives.

How that's, remember its not being judgmental.


----------



## -Todd- (Jun 13, 2011)

Brewtality said:


> When you have kids, it's all about what they want to do, not what you want to do. The bikes and the trails will still be there when they leave your home. Until then, you do everything you can to encourage and develop their interests.


I kinda disagree with this... We've got two kids that understand that EVERYBODY gets to have fun. It's not all about them, it's about all of us. #1 gets to play baseball and #2 gets to play soccer. Mama gets to do her running training, Dad gets to ride his bike. The idea that it's all about the kids does nothing to prepare them for the reality that there is compromise required to live a balanced life.

I see those kids who have every wish granted and fear for their future partners. I see their parents signing divorce papers and arguing about the division of assets because of the resentment and anger that develops while they are sacrificing their mental well being catering to children all the time.

Our kids get it and they know that in order for everyone to be happy and well adjusted, we all gotta have our fun. Family fun in the mix keeps everyone entertained...

I certainly don't want to be outta gas when these kids are fast enough to keep up to me! Sitting around watching kinds sports 5 nights a week or foregoing my training won't keep me ready for the future.


----------



## goodmojo (Sep 12, 2011)

Brewtality said:


> My daughters are 9 & 11. The 11 yr old has taken up competitive travel softball as a lefty pitcher with a wicked screwball. Most of our free time is taken up with softball tournaments, team practices, trainer sessions, team activities, etc. Mountain biking? Not on the agenda anytime soon.
> 
> When you have kids, it's all about what they want to do, not what you want to do. The bikes and the trails will still be there when they leave your home. Until then, you do everything you can to encourage and develop their interests.


I strongly disagree,I and several friends take the philosophy of doing what we want and the kids tag along. It works great.

The world dies not revolve around the kids.


----------



## blockphi (Mar 26, 2012)

goodmojo said:


> I strongly disagree,I and several friends take the philosophy of doing what we want and the kids tag along. It works great.
> 
> The world dies not revolve around the kids.


I agree with this overall. However, I'd argue that there needs to be a balance there. Encourage the kids to do their thing and support that, but also take the time for yourself to do the things you love. How powerful of an example is that for the kids? It is important that having kids does not cause you to completely lose who you are and if you do the things you love you'll be happier overall, thus a better parent.


----------



## Terp (Jul 25, 2013)

Some good stuff in here. I'm brand new to this situation and don't profess to have much useful to say but anyway...

So far my wife hasn't made a stink about me wanting to ride when the opportunity arises. The rides are shorter but to make the most of it I've been doing laps on my favorite segments instead of a longer ride through the whole park. Also the local dirt jump park has been invaluable for quick relief (30 min is a good enough fix there). 

My plan for the strider years is to pick up a trials bike and really learn low/zero speed maneuvers which should keep pace right along with the kid(s). A buddy said it took over a year to learn the wheelie-hop-kick-jump so its seems trials can keep things interesting.


----------



## goodmojo (Sep 12, 2011)

Ill add that even when they are riding the strider around the cul de sac you can be practicing track stands, side hops up and down curbs, manuals and wheelies. 

These will make you a much better rider.


----------



## leeboh (Aug 5, 2011)

Ahhh, the work/family/guy playtime balance. Everyone needs there own time. Even adults. My kids are older now but we worked it out just fine. I still commute by bike, takes 20 minutes longer than by car. My trails are 100 yds from my house. 1-2 hours early on a weekend worked just fine. Get the kids bikes, great for all that pent up energy. Drop them off at my moms, 15 minutes away. Got soccer? Both ride to the game. 3 miles away. Parents were amazed that we rode " all" that way. Balance and compromise.


----------



## mackdhagen (Jun 17, 2011)

goodmojo said:


> I strongly disagree,I and several friends take the philosophy of doing what we want and the kids tag along. It works great.
> 
> The world dies not revolve around the kids.


good Mojo put it well. My parents got me into things that i was not really into and now kind of dig it. 
I've tried to get my kids into riding and they are pretty reluctant but still young (7, 5 and 2). I just hope they see my training and racing and they'll catch the bug.
BTW i manage 10-14 hrs a week training, race road, MTB and Cross, with the 3 kids, full time jobby and finishing up my MBA..not getting much sleep, my training is not all quality, but getting it done.
To the OP...keep it up!


----------



## pcasso87 (Oct 17, 2014)

We just had our baby girl 2 weeks ago so i will explain our riding situation. Before she got pregnant we would ride together as a couple and even though she started slow she was able to catch me right before she got pregnant. Now with the little one and both of us into mountain biking it is becoming a bit more complicated. I have a group of 6 friends that we normally go on rides 4 men and 2 females not including my wife. The girls sometimes ride by themselves and one of them is a single mom with 2 kids 12yo and a 15yo so she can leave them by themselves now when she goes on rides. My wife is still recovering from her C-Section and is anxious to get back on the saddle when possible. It will be hard for us to go on rides together for a while so we made a plan where she would ride by her self, with the other 2 girls, or the group (Guys and Girls) 3 times a week and i would take care of the baby. I also get to ride 3 times a week either by my self or with the group. She is breast feeding so she will leave me milk to bottle feed when she goes on a ride. Any ways just wanted to share our experience.


----------



## cassa89 (Jun 30, 2014)

Congrats to all new parents! As much as we wish for more time to do other things, I think those little ones are the best things that have ever happened to us. 

Back on topic - I just got in from one of my standard rides. 7 miles, left at 6:15 AM, back by 7:00. Not ideal, but still a nice way to start the day. They get me by.


----------



## hey_poolboy (Jul 16, 2012)

My girls are 9 & 11. My wife is training for her first half marathon and I still have 3 races left on my schedule. Kids do judo, and the wife and I get our training in whenever we have time. I normally end up doing early morning rides and occasionally get in an evening ride. I'm getting only 8-10 hours of saddle time / week, but we're all having fun pursuing our goals.


----------



## wagonguy1989 (Jun 19, 2015)

i simply think its important to get the kids OUT, get them off the electronics and what not, i know this generation is all about the phones,pads,computers etc, but once a kid realizes theres a whole world right outside their door, its a game changer...

once my daughter gets a normal bike, its on and cracking! LOL, now just gotta wait for the #2 to come out and get old enuff for riding (hes a boy, so hes learning a bit earlier)


----------



## Gorn1120 (Jul 18, 2015)

For the most part, I just put MTB on the back burner. My son is 4 months old on Monday.

I like to get out and be active when the rest of the family is napping on the couch for 2 hours on a Sunday; I'm getting my other half a bike as well, so I'll probably end up investing in a baby trailer. I don't have a crazy urge to ride technical trails, so I incur significantly less frustration than you.

------------------

Yes, wagonguy! A lot of cartoons these days actually contribute to ADHD, so they need some time outside to chillax and appreciate nature.



wagonguy1989 said:


> i simply think its important to get the kids OUT, get them off the electronics and what not, i know this generation is all about the phones,pads,computers etc, but once a kid realizes theres a whole world right outside their door, its a game changer...
> 
> once my daughter gets a normal bike, its on and cracking! LOL, now just gotta wait for the #2 to come out and get old enuff for riding (hes a boy, so hes learning a bit earlier)


----------



## backinmysaddle (Jul 27, 2011)

I also windsurf in the summer, it's worse than mountain biking in terms of time commitment of getting to the windy spot, rigging up, etc., so has really dwindled away as a hobby now that I have 3 kids. I finally took 2 of my kids out to watch me sail last week and discovered that when they wanted me to pack up and go home I could say "if you let me go once more, I'll save that up and when you're riding on the pump track you can cash it in and make me stay for more time." Needless to say, the idea resonated and I sailed out and back many more times and they now know they can keep me at the pump track for a couple extra hours in the future. We now have a bit of bank of "one more times" that we're keeping track of. Little tricks like this that help you allocate time to yourself, but let your kids know they get to claim some time too. It seems to work with them and makes me feel a bit less guilt about going off to do something myself, whether biking or sailing.


----------



## wagonguy1989 (Jun 19, 2015)

Gorn1120 said:


> For the most part, I just put MTB on the back burner. My son is 4 months old on Monday.
> 
> I like to get out and be active when the rest of the family is napping on the couch for 2 hours on a Sunday; I'm getting my other half a bike as well, so I'll probably end up investing in a baby trailer. I don't have a crazy urge to ride technical trails, so I incur significantly less frustration than you.
> 
> ...


i agree too, the technical stuff will be every once ina while when im by meself, but i will also be investing in a trailer because the wife is actually growing an interest in biking (wooohoooo!!!) but she will be more of a cruise lightly when its not so darn hot outside kinda gal... so the trailer will be no problem with the 3yr old and baby!

i just dont want my children to be lazy and stuck on anything that isnt good for them...


----------



## Bigmatt125 (Aug 24, 2015)

junkyardkid said:


> Ive got a two year old right now. For me it was about health. I hadnt been on the mountain bike in 10 years. Though i rode beach cruiser around my apartment untill i moved to a house then nothing for four years. I dont want to have a heart attack at 55. So i told the wife this was to extend my life so i could spend it with our daughter. But thats me. Also i dont have to work a lot and take my daughter to work every friday for over a year now so that helps.


I feel the same way. My daughter is two. I feel guilty when I ride without her, but I also think that, as a father, I have a responsibility to keep myself fit and healthy. I worry about having having heart attack in my 50's too. My little girl will only tolerate about 20-30 minutes in the Burley before she wants to get out and play. We usually ride 20 minutes out on a paved rail trail, play, then ride back. To get any exercise I have to ride longer and more aggressively than bringing her permits. To balance time at home and time exercising, I've been running a lot more. I can get in a pretty intense run in 40-60 minutes without having to take my bike to the trail head. Also, she likes to be pushed in the Bob stroller. Those runs are about 30 minutes. Pushing the stroller is definitely more difficult.


----------



## targnik (Jan 11, 2014)

Keeping healthy should be for you and your partner ^^ plus for your future grandkids ;-) once kids are old enough, get em out on rides... they'll love it nb, ice cream encouragement maybe required

Sent from my Kin[G]_Pad ™


----------

