# Women's Shorts Review



## slvander (May 19, 2010)

Wanted to find an honest review of women's shorts...so I decided to post my own review on my blog: http://northsixty.com/2011/womens-bike-shorts-warning-graphic-content/

Decided that since everyone's different, I should put my assessment up here, so that people can add on.

1. Pearl Izumi - P.R.O Short

After looking at the webpage, my review of this short may be a little outdated, as I can see that Pearl Izumi seems to have Lillith Fair-ed their short. The version I have still features a drawstring that gives phenomenal muffin top; and tight elastic bottoms that complete a sausage look. The white stitching going down the middle of the short also does a great job of creating the illusion of a camel toe . The new photos show a women's short that has a broader waist and thigh elastic - which will definitely increase the attractiveness quotient. If I'm going to walk around in spandex, it should be as flattering as possible, because let's be honest - spandex is only flattering if your name is Olivia Newton John and it's 1983.

I'm not fond of the length of these shorts either, they are Catholic school girl size. Which I find creates the most unattractive tan lines and sticks out from underneath my baggy mountain bike shorts.

But, my biggest beef for the Pearl Izumi's is the chamois. It's thick, which both feels and looks like an extra large, super absorbent maxi pad, and it's got a funny texture to it. It's almost as if there's some kind of plastic fibre in it - or another artificially created textile that gives it an unusual stiffness. This is problematic because the starchiness can cause serious labial chafing - and subsequent post-ride burning in the nether region.

2. SheBeest S-Pro

SheBeest only makes women's clothing, giving them an obvious advantage in the bike short challenge. Their shorts have a nice thick waistband which requires no string cinching to keep it in place. This is a fabulous feature if you like bikecationing. I have a hard enough time working up the courage to get in a bikini - the last thing I need is that bright red imprint around my stomach where my bike shorts were dug into my "insulation". They also have thick thigh bands that keep the short in place, without leaving any evidence.

The SheBeest's are shorter than the classic bike short - but not Britney Spears' short (no more than 3 inches below the hoohoo). They sit almost exactly mid-thigh, slightly higher than my average work skirt, which conveniently means no weird tan lines.

The chamois does not feel or look like special space-aged material, but instead fairly plain cotton - according to their website this is: SheLastic Vita di Carbonio which I believe is Italian for "soft vagina blanket". The chamois is also quite thin and smooth, and while it's still a bit maxi pad-like, at least it's just regular absorbant.

The best part about SheBeest - the shemazing way they just add "she" to make sheverything more feminine - it's shetastic really.

3. Assos S5

When I bought these shorts I tweeted: "Just paid $250 for a pair of bike shorts. If my vagina doesn't sing in harmony with my hubs, I've paid too much". I was kidding - but wasn't, $250 is a lot of money to pay for shorts. But, Assos has a pretty smart tag line - Sponsor Yourself. For people like me, who will never be sponsored by anyone else, the idea of being sponsored, even by your own wallet, is appealing.

Like SheBeest, Assos has a fabulous waistband system, that keeps the shorts firmly in place, without a drawstring. They also have similar thigh bands to the SheBeest and are almost the exact same length. So why pay the extra money for them? The secret seems to be in the chamois.

Assos' chamois is thin and dimpled - at first I wondered if I'd accidentally bought "special" Euro bike shorts designed for a different kind of ride. But it turns out these weird dimples, or "waffle pattern" are supposed to increase airflow. It's not just a gimmick - it actually works. At most, these shorts feel like a panty liner - but most of the time, you actually forget they're there. On hot days - like my one mountain bike race, the shorts are noticeably cooler. The only better option is riding bottom half naked - which is frowned upon at most events outside the Yukon.

The best part about Assos - their entire website looks like it was styled by Derek Zoolander - so hawt.

Mrs. North of 60 | Just a girl who lives in the Yukon and loves to ride bikes


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## gabrielle (Jan 2, 2005)

slvander said:


> SheLastic Vita di Carbonio which I believe is Italian for "soft vagina blanket".


:lol:

Thanks for the thorough review...I haven't had much luck finding shorts that agree with me for the past few years. I ended up replacing the chamois in my SheBeest TripleS shorts (the old style, before they changed the fabric & chamois placement). Not a fun job, but the end result was worth it.

gabrielle


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## adventuregirl (Mar 24, 2008)

I needed some new shorts as I had worn out most of mine and found these from Louis Garneau to be very comfy. I did a 7 day trip with about 7-8 hours in the saddle with no issues.

WOMEN ZONE 3K SHORTS :: Louis Garneau

I also have a pair of their tights and knickers.

Saddle comfort can also be very dependent on fit and saddle position as well.


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## RideMore56 (Jun 27, 2011)

Sugoi RS shorts are my fav, the best pad I have ever had. Read the reviews on Sugoi RS seems like everyone loves them.


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## highdelll (Oct 3, 2008)




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## jewels (Mar 17, 2004)

thank you for the wonderfully entertaining reviews!  dunno highdell.... not sure pichers of muffintop, cameltoe and sausage legs are all that. eek! I've been a Pearl Izumi wearer, but gonna try the sugoi shorts next i think.


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## ambyrle (Nov 10, 2011)

slvander said:


> Wanted to find an honest review of women's shorts...so I decided to post my own review on my blog
> 
> Decided that since everyone's different, I should put my assessment up here, so that people can add on.


i have nothing useful to add as far as shorts go. i just had to say that your reviews made me laugh so hard, i fell a little bit in love with you. and i went to the Assos website just because of your description, because God knows i won't be affording $250 shorts in the foreseeable future.

What IS this? A website for ants?! It needs to be at least three times bigger than this!


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## muddbunnies-team (Nov 9, 2011)

"Assos’ chamois is thin and dimpled – at first I wondered if I’d accidentally bought “special” Euro bike shorts designed for a different kind of ride"

Hahahaha, that is awesome. I'm a sugoi fan but I have to check these out now. Also slvander; if you are serious about being spondsored, send me a PM!


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## Patagrande (Jul 26, 2010)

@slvander,

For 250 bucks not only should it sing in tune with your hubs, it should conduct the whole orchestra !

Have you tried Endura stuff, if their Women specific stuff is half as good as their men stuff, it is probably great.


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## LiveFreeThenDie (Mar 21, 2010)

When you find shorts you like, buy two pair. I purchased Performance Ultra shorts two years ago. I'm not super crazy about the mesh material, but the padding size and thickness works for me. I decided it was time to replace my "see through" 15 year old shorts and went to Performance to pick up a pair on sale. Lo and behold, they replaced the chamois and the shorts felt like a diaper. I was so disappointed. After trying on many pairs of shorts and not liking any, I finally snagged a pair of the original Ultras for $40 on the sale rack at Performance and was super happy. Most bike shorts seem to be made to fit women the size of Ally McBeal. Good luck if you weigh more than 150.


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## H0WL (Jan 17, 2007)

I bought the Terry Euro shorts on sale this past year and must say they work for me. I did have to go up a size to avoid the sausage look, since they have a compression fit. These shorts have a just-at-the-knee length, and a fabric band at the legs and waist -- no elastic. Chamois is fine. For us 60+ mtn bikers, a just-at-the-knee length works well. I'd wear capri length most of the year, but it is too damn hot in Texas. 

I had despaired of finding "shorts" with a longer leg and no elastic. These are just right for mountain biking and the road. Have to say I found it a bit humorous that the chamois is a very bright pink. 

I have a pair of the Performance Ultra shorts and love the mesh fabric. However, the (relatively) shorter leg with elastic means that I usually wear them on my commute under a pair of cycle-specific capris. 

The Assos chamois does sound intruiging.


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## H2oChick (Dec 14, 2006)

slvander: great post and interesting description of the various "fits." 

I have a pair of P.I. Elite shorts that I like the fit but when I wear them it feels like my rear is getting a sunburn! My go to shorts are 2+year old Oakleys that I cannot seem to destroy. I know the chamois breaks down but they seem to be more comfortable now that they have compressed a bit. I will probably wind up cutting out the liner and wear the P.I.'s underneath. 
The Shebeest's are nice too; I have the capris which are nice "after ride" pants.


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## bubu13 (Apr 4, 2010)

[email protected], your post had me laughing so hard, mainly because I relate to each experience! 
I'm short and stocky, so most of the bike shorts make it look like I am expressing way too much information about my lower body parts, so I had to make a choice. Do I go for looks or function? I went for function, so my current fave is a Mavic Women's Riviera short (on sale at Jensen USA for 50% off right now), which has a shorter leg, so at least I get that proportion right. However, beware of the camel toe...the fit is snug, so not chaffing, but my rides are not cross country.


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## Kernyl (Dec 21, 2011)

*Ouch! PI shorts*

I've never tried the other shorts you've reviewed, but I echo your sentiments on the PI shorts. I do have the newer ones that have the more flattering waist band, but the chamois on these is exactly as you say. It is so thick I feel like I waddle in them! The first time I took them out for a ride was actually a two hour road ride, I came back with a papercut type cut on my butt. I have cheapo Verge men's shorts that are more comfortable than that!

I would love to try out those Assos. Maybe when I win the lottery.


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## speckledtrout (Jul 29, 2007)

I normally buy my shorts when they go on sale but I went ahead and spent the 80 clams for a pair of Specialized's mid-level lycra shorts. I'm a big fan of their Body Geometry line of stuff. I love their cycling shoes and I find their women specific saddles to be the most comfortable ones out there for me.

I finally put them on the other day and I swear to God, it felt like there was cardboard where the chamois was supposed to be. Not thick cardboard, mind you. More like the thin cardboard inserts you put in a big envelope when you're mailing photos you don't want bent. It was nuts! I was freaking out while walking around the house and wondering how the hell I was gonna be able to ride a bike with cardboard between my legs. 

Here's the weirder part. I got on my bike and totally forgot I had them on. They had the perfect amount of cushion and any stiffness and cardboardy feeling I felt while walking around was non-existent once seated on the bike and pedaling! Crazy.


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## S_Trek (May 3, 2010)

highdelll said:


>


Morning Ladies


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## Aunt Judy (Jan 2, 2012)

I'm tough to fit as I'm very petite but not thin. If I don't get an XS, chamois in every single pair of shorts feels like I'm wearing diaper that sits down real low. But some XS shorts give me a sausage thigh & scream thick thighs. I've tried on tons of different brands/styles. I ended up preferring Pearl Izumi Symphony shorts - flattering wide waistband, chamois works well, shorts somewhat suck in my thighs & no sausage thigh. Downside is I"ve gotten holes during some crashes, but since I was hard to fit, I'm willing to live with that. First time had seamstress sew hole, but material had gotten weak near area so got another hole. So I buy a few pair at a time.


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## RamEmNoodle29 (May 19, 2012)

I'm looking at this Sugoi shorts and they look a little thin up top...muffin top is not a problem here? Has anyone tried the Pearl Izumi Sugar Shorts?


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## MtbRN (Jun 8, 2006)

RamEmNoodle29 said:


> I'm looking at this Sugoi shorts and they look a little thin up top...muffin top is not a problem here? Has anyone tried the Pearl Izumi Sugar Shorts?


I don't know how YOU roll  but I usually wear a jersey as well as shorts. So unless you are going with a look that exposes a lot of midriff, why would you worry about a "muffin top"? Seriously, shorts are about comfort more than style when I am looking at a 25 mile mountain bike ride.

I like the Sugoi shorts right now, but if I wear them too many rides in a row I start getting tender spots. So need to switch out to another brand every few rides to rotate the sore spots. No one brand seems perfect for me.


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## RamEmNoodle29 (May 19, 2012)

MtbRN said:


> I don't know how YOU roll  but I usually wear a jersey as well as shorts. So unless you are going with a look that exposes a lot of midriff, why would you worry about a "muffin top"? Seriously, shorts are about comfort more than style when I am looking at a 25 mile mountain bike ride.
> 
> I like the Sugoi shorts right now, but if I wear them too many rides in a row I start getting tender spots. So need to switch out to another brand every few rides to rotate the sore spots. No one brand seems perfect for me.


Haha, ok ok, true story, I'm wearing a jersey and not nakers. It's more of a comfort issue, when they dig into my waste it gets pretty uncomfortable, especially once the sweating begins. I was just wondering if these Sugoi shorts dig into your sides, I've been looking at getting a pair.


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## connie (Mar 16, 2004)

RamEmNoodle29 said:


> Haha, ok ok, true story, I'm wearing a jersey and not nakers. It's more of a comfort issue, when they dig into my waste it gets pretty uncomfortable, especially once the sweating begins. I was just wondering if these Sugoi shorts dig into your sides, I've been looking at getting a pair.


If that's an issue for you, get the bibs. I only wear bibs for road riding because on long rides it's so much more comfortable to not have any pressure on your waist. I have the RSE bibs and love them.


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## bikerchick120 (May 30, 2012)

I know Luckychic.com is having a blowout sale this week on cute vespertine reflective gear!


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## MtbRN (Jun 8, 2006)

RamEmNoodle29 said:


> It's more of a comfort issue, when they dig into my waste it gets pretty uncomfortable, especially once the sweating begins. I was just wondering if these Sugoi shorts dig into your sides, I've been looking at getting a pair.


They have a drawstring that lets you adjust how snug they are on top. No wide-band elastic at the waist. Tell you the truth, I never paid any attention to the waistband, I am all about the padding.
The Sugoi's I am riding in are the "Evolution". With a green chamois.


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