# Lost the passion for everything...?



## spazzy (Aug 15, 2004)

Long story short, spent 4.5 years in college and loved every minute of it, not just the extracurriculars  but just the learning in general. Graduated in mid December of 2011 with a cellular/molecular biology degree and minors in chemistry and microbiology. The first two weeks were great, felt awesome to have nothing going on, no pressures, tests or assignments

I moved away from my college town back with my folks to save on cash until I land a job. The next 2-3 weeks or so ive been putting my resumes together and applying for jobs. My motivation has been on the decline during that time, I just dont feel like doing anything, no video games, drinking brewskis with friends, snowboarding or biking. All things I LOVED before.

My long-term (ie 7 year) girlfriend just landed a long-term subbing position in 4th grade, I am very VERY stoked for her but at the same time slightly jealous because her career path is very narrow, I just don't know what I would enjoy doing...

I see threads all the time about hurt riders and the mtbr community sends healing vibes. Anyone care to send some mental healing vibes my way?

Sorry for the long rant I just could use some comradery

Edit: joined a gym and got a good workout in this morning, I feel slightly better


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## trailbrain (Feb 22, 2005)

Stick with it and get on the bike all you can. Believe me once you get down that career path and start gaining more financial responsibilities in life, house, cars, bills, family etc. that ride time starts to shrink. It doesn't go away just shrinks.

Keep looking and enjoy not having to study all the time. Your path is out there.


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## s0ckeyeus (Jun 20, 2008)

At this point, you don't necessarily need a career; you might just need a job. I know I started feeling like a waste of space for a while until I started working. I didn't know what I wanted to do as a career, but I got a decent job that has payed the bills until I discovered what I wanted to do. I'm going to grad school now, so hopefully things work out afterward.

Good luck. The college to real world jump can be hard, but you'll figure it out.


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## Guerdonian (Sep 4, 2008)

Dude totally been there. I have been layed off, and been unemployed a couple times in my career. The adjustment from college to cubicle life was also a rough one. So i totally feel your pain. Here are a couple things that helped me out:

1. Stick to your guns on your hobbies, you will always feel better if your doing something that you can see the results from. Scale Models, Bonzai, Cooking, taxidermy, Justin Biber fan club, anything that keeps you feeling productive.
2. Exercise is key. I went through a tough 3 month period after my layoff, and regular workouts were the only thing that kept me sane. Biking was a life saver.
3. Remind yourself how sh!tty it could be. 
4. Don't set your job expectations to the sky. I got a job at a deli just to feel like i was worth something (though i got rehired at my engineering firm prior to my first day). In the past i worked at a pet shop just to work. This with 6 years of mechanical engineering experience and a degree. I have found personally that my psychie needs some sort of "job" so that i can feel needed, and have self worth.
5. Lastly Ride. Many times i did not want to do anything or go anywhere, and after 5 min on single track i was ecstatic that i forced myself out of the house. I guess this is sort of #2, but has more of that outdoor, one with nature bonus effect.

Good luck buddy, That cloud will move on, and there is a big ol sun behind it.


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## 53119 (Nov 7, 2008)

don't stop riding if you don't have to. it may give you help with clarity and inspiration. you sound insightful enough to get thru the slump. relax, you got this.

meanwhile..here ya go http://www.26in.fr/videos/pista-prest-****-1


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## jacklikesbeans (Feb 18, 2011)

Man was created to be challenged. You remember that feeling when you finished a project and that euphoric feel takes over knowing the you completed something difficult. Your mind craves more challenges. 

Ever notice how when some people retire and do nothing they die soon after?


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## codyh12345 (Sep 15, 2011)

Keep busy... keep applying for jobs (even stuff not quite in your field). I have an electronics engineering degree and I am happily employed as a gaming agent in the casinos. Just because you have a degree in one thing doesn't mean you can't do other things!

Keep truckin... and enjoy your "downtime" between school and work...!


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## GPRider08 (Aug 22, 2008)

Chin up, Spazzy! This isn't an easy job market for anyone. Just do what you can on the job front, and as others have said, if it's really bothering you, think about getting a job for now. At least until you get the career opportunity you want.

As far as things you love to do, I strongly recommend you keep doing them. It sounds like you're in a bit of a funk right now. If you cut yourself off from your passions, you run the risk of just falling further down. You may have to force yourself to do it, but you'll be thankful for it later. So, go ride, play some games, and drink lots of beer with your pals!


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## spazzy (Aug 15, 2004)

Thanks to all for the advice and good vibes. I do have some interviews lined up so I am stoked (and scared/nervous) about that.

I worked out today for the first time in 2 months, it kicked my ass but I am feeling much better


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## dankilling (Feb 24, 2004)

You're not sick.
You're not injured.
You have a place to live and food to eat.
You have an education.
You have a girlfriend.
Sack up and get over yourself. Your life doesn't suck.


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## Tystevens (Nov 2, 2011)

That is what graduate school is for -- fills time (and avoid having to repay student loans) until you figure out what to do! Plus, you get to be back in school again and not the real world!


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## Harold (Dec 23, 2003)

I'm trying to get my master's thesis written and I feel much the same way. I'm very much busy with that, but when I'm not working on it, I don't want to be doing anything.


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## dragbike (Jun 10, 2005)

I'm 44 and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up!! What I do know is I'm a lucky man. Decent job, 2 awesome sons, a wife that bravely fought and so far beaten cancer. Time to bike and ski. 

I think you're going thru the post college "oh no what do I do now" phase. I went thru it too. Ended up ski bumming in Colorado for 2 years. I wasn't quite ready for real adult life when I left college. Instead of fighting it I went to CO for a couple years. 

Ever consider getting your teaching certification? Biology teacher maybe? Pretty good gig lots of time off.

Just be glad you have what you have and figure out what you want next and go for it.


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## Haus Boss (Jun 4, 2010)

If you really enjoyed school, why not continue onto a graduate school or maybe even working towards a PhD? You're obviously not a slacker considering what you accomplished in your undergraduate work!


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## stapes (Oct 23, 2008)

dankilling said:


> You're not sick.
> You're not injured.
> You have a place to live and food to eat.
> You have an education.
> ...


This.

Go ride.


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## Ken in KC (Jan 12, 2004)

dankilling said:


> You're not sick.
> You're not injured.
> You have a place to live and food to eat.
> You have an education.
> ...


^^Yep^^ In 2 words: Grow up and act like an adult


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## mtpisgah (Jan 12, 2004)

Go occupy something/someplace.


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## Haus Boss (Jun 4, 2010)

mtpisgah said:


> Go occupy something/someplace.


North Vancouver would be a good start


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## El Train (Apr 21, 2007)

it's called being depressed. look it up. and go pedal. then go pedal some more. and get a job pronto if you can.


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## spazzy (Aug 15, 2004)

Haus Boss said:


> If you really enjoyed school, why not continue onto a graduate school or maybe even working towards a PhD? You're obviously not a slacker considering what you accomplished in your undergraduate work!


Strongly considered it, leaning more towards a professional school, pharmacy, PA or maybe even med school, I'm just flat broke


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## tg (Feb 1, 2006)

Ride your a$$ off.....it will all work out in the end.I have never come home from a ride and felt like I wasted my time. I work full time but still find time to ride almost every day. I tend to feel bad about myself if I dont ride. Riding =


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## Hutch3637 (Jul 1, 2011)

How about be thankful for what you have! Don't be a negative Nancy and go ride, spend time with the GF, ride her more or ride bikes with her, go to the gym, and apply to as many jobs as you can. There are people on this site that i'm sure have it worst then you so, live it up while you can. :thumbsup:


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## R+P+K (Oct 28, 2009)

dankilling said:


> You're not sick.
> You're not injured.
> You have a place to live and food to eat.
> You have an education.
> ...


Yup, what he said ^^^^^


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## mike1125biking (Jan 23, 2012)

You and thousands of others. Get over it and get a job somewhere. The longer you are out of school and out of work the worse it looks. Flipping burgers is better than flipping out. Shows potential employers you want to work. Keep your body and mind active. Go for a ride, always clears my head


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## knutso (Oct 8, 2008)

When I came outta school, I put the pedal down and learned how to code for web apps. Takes time and has a very steep learning curve but once you have it dialed you can make big $.

All you need is a computer and web access: look into HTML5 CSS3 and Javascript to get started, if you can handle it then go for the gusto in XML, Ruby and RoR, PHP is a very popular option, if you are ready to launch the big new thought go into Silverlight. 

Otherwise, why the heck did you stop riding for a month?

Its Christmas morning and now youre the one buying presents and shoveling snow !
:thumbsup:


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## BeanMan (Jul 6, 2006)

If you aren't enjoying a good beer then it's time to quit for a while. It doesn't make things better when you are depressed. Follow a bunch of the advice above, idleness is not your friend at times like this. Best of Luck.


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## spazzy (Aug 15, 2004)

Just got home from a college hockey game and going out to the bars with my BEST friends, been working out every day and planning on hopping on the bike tomorrow. Mood is totally changed a 180. 2 or more interviews next week.

If I am offered a job Im going to take it and put my head down and fricking work, if I dont like the job in 2 months then Im moving on, lab work may not be for me but pharmacy/PA/med school may be

Thanks for all the good vibes, major inspiration by just reading

To everyone that said grow up/suck it up, its tough, after doing some research I can say with confidence that I was depressed/borderline depressed for 6-8 weeks, definitely not something to take lightly


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## CraigCreekRider (Apr 12, 2007)

spazzy said:


> Just got home from a college hockey game and going out to the bars with my BEST friends, been working out every day and planning on hopping on the bike tomorrow. Mood is totally changed a 180. 2 or more interviews next week.
> 
> If I am offered a job Im going to take it and put my head down and fricking work, if I dont like the job in 2 months then Im moving on, lab work may not be for me but pharmacy/PA/med school may be
> 
> ...


Best of luck, sounds like things are turning around. My first impression was that you are going through a depression. Lucky are those that have not been through one at some point in their life. I really think time and some good things coming your way are what will get you our of that. Its not always as easy as 'pull yourself together" or "keep your head up things aren't that bad". You are going through big life changes and moving back in with your parents, well thats always tough. Getting a job should help, even if its not your career choice for life. Good luck.


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## Sandrenseren (Dec 29, 2011)

First, glad to hear that you've perked up a bit..

Secondly, the current job market is rough, I've been through periods of unemployment too and know the growing disappointment of getting turned down time and time again. However there are only so much you can do to get a job, do all you can and don't feel bad if it doesn't strike home straight away. Get your applications out there, use your network, all that stuff and give it time to make results.

In the mean time make us all jealous of how much time you have to ride. I LOVED having a shitload of spare time last time I was jobless, sure the financial situation sucked and all but once I was done doing what I could do to get a job I really treasured the remaining time. 

What I'm saying is, you can worry 24/7 about your current situation and let the lack of a job get you down or you can make a list of stuff you can do to get a job, do that stuff and then treat the remaining time as time to enjoy yourself because you've already done all you can do for the time being. 

Hunting for a job isn't full time, I personally put in somewhere between 10 and 20 hours a week calling people, writing applications, reading adds and so on. Once that is done, take advantage of having time to spare for riding and other fun stuff and enjoy it!


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## ralph3 (Dec 16, 2007)

Safety first:thumbsup:


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## dankilling (Feb 24, 2004)

spazzy said:


> Just got home from a college hockey game and going out to the bars with my BEST friends, been working out every day and planning on hopping on the bike tomorrow. Mood is totally changed a 180. 2 or more interviews next week.
> 
> If I am offered a job Im going to take it and put my head down and fricking work, if I dont like the job in 2 months then Im moving on, lab work may not be for me but pharmacy/PA/med school may be
> 
> ...


Good for you. Everyone goes through highs and lows their entire life, but if you never learn how to suck it up and get over yourself you will spend far more time on the lows than you do on the highs. You define your reality. Never let it control you.


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## PekrSnot (Feb 17, 2012)

Occupy Bike Park, Utah!


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## d.wagner (Feb 7, 2012)

if it helps, im trying to SELL just about everything of value that I own just to PURCHASE a bike... im still in school and have NO money, just lost the girlfriend, dad has cancer, and check engine light just came on in the jeep for "misfire on cylinder 3" and "catalytic converter efficiency" Life is good still! pick your head up!

EDIT: anyone interested in a O'Brien Cobe 137 wakeboard with Hyperlite Belmont option2 XXL Bindings... comes with Hyperlite jacket, Straightline handle and O'Brian carry bag? everything is in GREAT condition... Lets make a deal! :thumbsup:


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## codyh12345 (Sep 15, 2011)

d.wagner said:


> if it helps, im trying to SELL just about everything of value that I own just to PURCHASE a bike... im still in school and have NO money, just lost the girlfriend, dad has cancer, and check engine light just came on in the jeep for "misfire on cylinder 3" and "catalytic converter efficiency" Life is good still! pick your head up!
> 
> EDIT: anyone interested in a O'Brien Cobe 137 wakeboard with Hyperlite Belmont option2 XXL Bindings... comes with Hyperlite jacket, Straightline handle and O'Brian carry bag? everything is in GREAT condition... Lets make a deal! :thumbsup:


dude go to autozone and have them clear that code for you.... then wait to see if it comes back. Sometimes your vehicle can misfire and throw a CEL but the misfire only happens once.... no worries. Now if it comes back again you may have a problem.


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## rkj__ (Feb 29, 2004)

This thread is of interest to me.

The student chapter of my life is also just about to come to an end. I'm still unsure what the next chapter has in store for me. 

It's good to hear things are improving for you since your original post spazzy. Good luck with the interviews.


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## zebrahum (Jun 29, 2005)

PekrSnot said:


> Occupy Bike Park, Utah!


Which one, they're all covered in snow or wet up in SLC!

OP, about 3 years ago I made a major life change and decided to move from my ski bum/bike mechanic life I had been enjoying for the past 10 years (through college and beyond) and move into a real job. Well, I fell into a pretty nasty depression in the transition to "real life".

You're aware of it, you're taking steps to counteract it, and it sounds as if your mood is improving. Good freaking job! Don't be afraid to get help if you need to, I've lost several years to thinking I could ignore the problem and it would go away so I wouldn't recommend that.

Keep your head up, it's a tough job market but you'll find something eventually. Get a job in the meantime if you need to keep busy, I'm sure your local bike shops will be hiring soon for spring!


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## Cayenne_Pepa (Dec 18, 2007)

Don't allow life to bring you down. You need to make time to ride...unconditionally. Work it into your way of life - it's the outlet your body needs. Get started right away. Even one ride can do yourself wonders. It just snowballs after that....


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## d.wagner (Feb 7, 2012)

codyh12345 said:


> dude go to autozone and have them clear that code for you.... then wait to see if it comes back. Sometimes your vehicle can misfire and throw a CEL but the misfire only happens once.... no worries. Now if it comes back again you may have a problem.


autozone said its against the law to clear it since it threw a Catalytic efficiency code (we have emissions where I have it registered) :madman: its my fault for taking it beyond the pavement... but i figured "its still a JEEP... eh what the hell it'll be fine" :nono:


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## jtrink (Oct 27, 2010)

Whenever I'm feeling or not sure what to do, I play this video. SFW.

Oh, the Places You'll Go at Burning Man! - YouTube


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## Scott O (Aug 5, 2004)

No way you don't get all fired up after watching this one. **** the ****! Warning! PG13 content.


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## Once_Upon_A_Time (Aug 13, 2004)

It's traumatic having to leave the nurturing close knit college community. Imagine leaving close friends behind or worst yet, now scattered all over thousands of miles away. If you're feeling blue, it's understandable. As others have stated, be thankful for what you have and stay focused. Don't neglect those close to you, especially the gf. 

Keep healthy and dig yourself out of this. Focus, Time to find a job! 

You'll be alright! I promise.


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## surftime (Nov 15, 2010)

You now have plenty of time so....

Read a few *Napoleon Hill* books

check him out on Wiki for a short history - but you have to read his books. You will have a new outlook on life


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## Jaybo (Mar 5, 2008)

I agree with the poster above! Sounds like depression. If it doesn't let up soon go talk to your doctor about it. Books, riding, etc won't help long-term.


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## NicoleB (Jul 21, 2011)

you know, even with a good life, people can become depressed. its not like you have to be homeless, diseased, and a quadraplegic to "deserve" to be depressed. it just happens, and it sucks. Its like saying you dont know what its like to feel hungry because somebdoy in africa is REALLY hungry. So dont listen to people giving d|ckish responses. 

however, do listen to the people telling you to ride more


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## PekrSnot (Feb 17, 2012)

Seasonal Affective Disorder comes to mind. Shorter number of daylight hours, more time indoors, and cloudy weather. I try to get as much sunlight as I can in the winter months.


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## Dr Feelygood ! (Jun 16, 2006)

Good Vibes Sent :thumbsup:


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## Cayenne_Pepa (Dec 18, 2007)

OP, put your Chem background to good use and restore your normal levels of Seratonin and Dopamine. Riding your bike is well-known to increase these "feel-good" brain chemicals. The hard part is getting started.


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## abegold (Jan 30, 2004)

Since you loved school a teacher could be your future.


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## spazzy (Aug 15, 2004)

Little update, I had another interview today, it went pretty well but after learning more about the job I can say its not for me. It was an animal study technician at a drug research facility. I would be fine working with the smaller animals but I couldn't euthanize a dog, especially a beagle.

Another interview on thursday for a more microbiology based position, very stoked on that!

Just talking to someone (ik its lame) but even over the interwebs made me feel better, and having some support is great

One of the worst was being uprooted and leaving my friends behind, knowing they are in school/partying it up/studying without me


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## wedge (Jun 24, 2006)

NicoleB28 said:


> you know, even with a good life, people can become depressed. its not like you have to be homeless, diseased, and a quadraplegic to "deserve" to be depressed. it just happens, and it sucks. Its like saying you dont know what its like to feel hungry because somebdoy in africa is REALLY hungry. So dont listen to people giving d|ckish responses.
> 
> however, do listen to the people telling you to ride more


+ 1000!

I was going to type pretty much the same answer.

I'll just ad that it's not uncommon to feel depressed after achieving a long term goal that took so much of your life and energy. Ever heard of post partem depression? pretty similar.
I was in the same boat as you when I finished high school. A week of sightseeing and partying in Barcelona, followed by 4 month in the army cured that.

Try a new challenge: pick up ballroom dancing (your GF should like it!), guitar playing, sign up for an ultra-endurance event and train hard for it, start lifting weights and set yourself a goal to attain, learn chinese, welding, etc. you get the idea.

choose something you are interested in, but not familiar with yet. It has to be challenging but within reach (ask your GF about Vygotsky's "proximal development zone").

Good luck!


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## CMUrider (Feb 25, 2005)

Been there. Get something new for whatever sport you would be doing now. You don't even need to spend money, post up and find a new riding partner. Retired people are great because they can ride in the AM and leave you more energized for job hunting later.

Also, go on an all day epic solo ride. Something with lots of singletrack and lots of dirt roads. A mix of times of focusing on the riding, and focusing on just being calm out somewhere.


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## Sourloter (Sep 21, 2011)

spazzy said:


> Long story short, spent 4.5 years in college and loved every minute of it, not just the extracurriculars  but just the learning in general. Graduated in mid December of 2011 with a cellular/molecular biology degree and minors in chemistry and microbiology. The first two weeks were great, felt awesome to have nothing going on, no pressures, tests or assignments
> 
> I moved away from my college town back with my folks to save on cash until I land a job. The next 2-3 weeks or so ive been putting my resumes together and applying for jobs. My motivation has been on the decline during that time, I just dont feel like doing anything, no video games, drinking brewskis with friends, snowboarding or biking. All things I LOVED before.
> 
> ...


Your life has just begun mate, don't rush to get a carreer. Enjoy every minute of your new life and bike as much as you can. As other guys said, your bike time will shrink once you find a job.


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## menatwork_mn123 (Feb 3, 2011)

Watch the movie "Yes Man" - Jim Carrey

This may motivate you to do some thing rather than feeling down all the times ;-)

Yes Man Clip - IMDb


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## ricky916 (Jun 7, 2011)

Buy a new ride, that will give ya motivation to ride it more.


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## SkaredShtles (May 13, 2007)

Head West, young man...


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## s0ckeyeus (Jun 20, 2008)

ricky916 said:


> Buy a new ride, that will give ya motivation to ride it more.


Uhh...he doesn't have a job. A new bike is probably one of the last things he needs.


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## drinkwat (Mar 17, 2008)

The transition to the real world is brutal at best. Usually, someone spends the first 18 years of his/her life gearing up for college as though if you go to college you end up with the white picket fence, 2.3 children, and a honky dory life. But in reality, no one prepares you for what to expect after college. Therapy.... that sh*t will help with the existential angst. Seriously, its rad.


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## RidinLou (Sep 5, 2011)

Got your degree.

KEWL

NOW

Put on your big boy pants and join the real world.


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## She&I (Jan 4, 2010)

spazzy, I feel for ya, man. From what I've observed, the transition from academia onward has never been tougher than in recent years. Best wishes for nailing something down, and for being as selective as you can get away with.

Depression, of course, is a real phenomenon and not simple moping under your control. I encourage you to take it with all seriousness and seek medical attention if you feel it's becoming an issue. It's easy for someone who is not afflicted to say HTFU. I've seen depression and where it can lead—it can be life threatening.

Happy trails, slugger. Go get 'em. :thumbsup:

Mike


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## -Chainslap- (Apr 9, 2009)

I'm in a similar position as the OP. Although I'm finishing my last semester of school currently and I have also worked my entire college career (7 years! Lol...). Originally as a pizza delivery dude but since 2010 as a GIS monkey at the USGS. It's been a great gig for someone of my level but already the office drudgery gets old. I honestly miss slingin pies... It allowed me to get out and talk to random people and not be stuck in a windowless cubicle for 8 hours...

I'm not even sure where I'm going with this but I wouldn't worry so much about getting out and starting a career, family, etc if that's not what you want. Get a job as a server or pizza boy. I've had some damn good times as a delivering pizzas...and remember 4/20 is the national holiday of pizza joints, haha...


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## HelloMyNameIsSean (Sep 14, 2011)

-Chainslap- said:


> I'm in a similar position as the OP. Although I'm finishing my last semester of school currently and I have also worked my entire college career (7 years! Lol...). Originally as a pizza delivery dude but since 2010 as a GIS monkey at the USGS. It's been a great gig for someone of my level but already the office drudgery gets old. I honestly miss slingin pies... It allowed me to get out and talk to random people and not be stuck in a windowless cubicle for 8 hours...
> 
> I'm not even sure where I'm going with this but I wouldn't worry so much about getting out and starting a career, family, etc if that's not what you want. Get a job as a server or pizza boy. I've had some damn good times as a delivering pizzas...and remember 4/20 is the national holiday of pizza joints, haha...


It sounds like you picked the wrong career d00d. I'm 23, I took 2, 2.5 years off from school right out of high school. Finally decided to go back and I should be finishing next semester. I was working delivering as well and I know what you mean about getting to meet and talk to random and weird people all day.

Did you ever think about getting into personal training? It will take your love for fitness and people and bring it into one job. I'm in the process of getting certified, and I'm hoping to be a MTB/Snowboard (according to season) instructor by day, gym trainer by night.

It's just something to think about, money really isn't everything. It took me a while to un-wrap my head around what my parents, friends and high school teachers have drilled into my head.


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## -Chainslap- (Apr 9, 2009)

HelloMyNameIsSean said:


> It sounds like you picked the wrong career d00d. I'm 23, I took 2, 2.5 years off from school right out of high school. Finally decided to go back and I should be finishing next semester. I was working delivering as well and I know what you mean about getting to meet and talk to random and weird people all day.
> 
> Did you ever think about getting into personal training? It will take your love for fitness and people and bring it into one job. I'm in the process of getting certified, and I'm hoping to be a MTB/Snowboard (according to season) instructor by day, gym trainer by night.
> 
> It's just something to think about, money really isn't everything. It took me a while to un-wrap my head around what my parents, friends and high school teachers have drilled into my head.


Yeah, I'm actually planning on leaving after graduation and hitting the road, either in my truck or by motorcycle. And I have a friend that's moving to NZ about the same time so I might have to go down there and live on his couch, lol...

Haven't really ever thought about personal training...got me thinking some now though.

I'll also mention that I was diagnosed with dysthymia a few years back and one of the best things I did was start riding mountain bikes in 2009 and getting in shape. Spent way too many a year sitting on my ass playing COD not accomplishing shite. Thus the 5 years at community college with a 2.5 GPA...Now up to 3.8 after transferring to university and getting my act together.

And I have also come to the conclusion that I would rather make less doing something I loved, than vice versa...


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## HelloMyNameIsSean (Sep 14, 2011)

I won't go into detail, but those two years I took off from school were not my best years. I'm lucky to be alive, lots of drugs and alcohol, somehow pulled myself out of it and started getting into shape. I was always athletic up until middle school and than everything fell off, my dad pushed to hard for me to play sports I hated. But I've come back around to it again. 

The way the economy is, it looks like we're F*cked no matter what, might as well just be happy.


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## spazzy (Aug 15, 2004)

Little update:

Had an interview last Tuesday, I thought it went really well...apparently it did, they called me back even before I got home wanting a second interview and letting me tour the lab.


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## dgw2jr (Aug 17, 2011)

spazzy said:


> Little update:
> 
> Had an interview last Tuesday, I thought it went really well...apparently it did, they called me back even before I got home wanting a second interview and letting me tour the lab.


Excellent!

Your previous comment about talking to people being lame was unwarranted. Humans are social creatures and we wouldn't be where we are today if we all clammed up and never talked to each other about our problems. When you tell someone you're having a hard time, you're talking to somebody who has probably been there.

There's the moms (it's all gonna be ok) and the dads (its all gonna be ok if you stop whining and get to work!) and while some may sound too optimistic or d|ckish, ya kinda need a balance of both to help you see the light.

Now, my personal recommendation is that you acquire a fatbike stat!


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## Once_Upon_A_Time (Aug 13, 2004)

spazzy said:


> Little update:
> 
> Had an interview last Tuesday, I thought it went really well...apparently it did, they called me back even before I got home wanting a second interview and letting me tour the lab.


:thumbsup:


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## wintersolstice (Feb 26, 2012)

Glad to see things are looking up!

I know I certainly get bummed for a bit whenever I accomplish a 'major life goal', right after the euphoria wears off comes the "well, now what?" phase.

No matter what, though, gotta get out and ride. Lack of exercise can make you moody.


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## Once_Upon_A_Time (Aug 13, 2004)

HelloMyNameIsSean said:


> I won't go into detail, but those two years I took off from school were not my best years. I'm lucky to be alive, lots of drugs and alcohol, somehow pulled myself out of it and started getting into shape. I was always athletic up until middle school and than everything fell off, my dad pushed to hard for me to play sports I hated. But I've come back around to it again.
> 
> The way the economy is, it looks like we're F*cked no matter what, might as well just be happy.


Hang in there...


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## spazzy (Aug 15, 2004)

Thread update:

The place I have been interviewing with offered me a position, the pay is ok, but on the lower end for entry level lab positions and the hours suck...but its a job. I'm accepting it but I still will be shopping around. I also feel in a year or three I will be heading back to school for some form of higher education


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## quattrokid73 (Feb 16, 2007)

You're not alone. 

I'm going through a similar part in my life. It's never as simple as "sucking it up". But at the same time, it is as simple as "sucking it up". I just graduated from school, have been living at home, and am getting my portfolio together to start interviewing for jobs. 

I thought it would be wonderful to get some relaxing time at home after 6 years of college. It was, for a while, until my younger brother went back to school. Now I deal with my parents fighting constantly, a break up with a girlfriend of two years, and the death of a close friend. And to boot, a new girl who things were progressing really well with, has dropped off the face of the earth. 

Needless to say, I feel pretty empty some days. But I've found the best way to get my spirits up is to take small steps. I am starting to learn that the key to happiness is small goals. It's good to know what my big goals are for 5 years from now, 10 years from now, etc. But happiness for me lies in setting small short term goals that I know I can accomplish. It keeps me moving forward, chin up. 

The hardest thing for me to deal with is the ladies. I take that stuff very personally. Sometimes nice guys do finish last. I try to let myself know that all I can do is my best. And if it doesn't work out, it wasn't the relationship I wanted anyway. But in the funk that I'm in, sometimes it's just a companion I want. So...back to hobbies and friends. If I need the support of others, I can get it by being involved in my hobbies and with my friends. 

I am an optimist, and I believe there is a purpose to our lives, but sometimes thrown rocks do hurt and they do knock you down.


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## bigcrs (Oct 27, 2008)

Not too sure if it's been mentioned, one word TRAVEL. It's the best education money can buy. In my experience it's amazing how far a single $ will go. It'll chance your perspective on everything you thought you knew. Grab a backpack, travel light. It's the closest thing to freedom.


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## andyb_aka_shredward (Feb 14, 2010)

Sounds like you're turning stuff around and feeling better. That's awesome. You were really smart to be open about and share what you were going through. But I'm especially glad you're waving off those people who say "Suck it up. Grow up. Things aren't that bad. Blah blah blah." I know people are just trying to help, but this is such a dangerous, hostile and ignorant attitude and can be really counterproductive advice to give someone that you really don't know. It just ends up shaming someone who could have chemical stuff going on that no amount of "sucking it up" is going to help. I don't know what people expect people suffering from depression to do upon hearing this advice. "Suck it up? Wow, I never thought of that! I'll do that. Thanks.) As others have said, it sounds like you're depressed, which can actually be triggered by stuff deeper than your current situation, like genetics. I have a great, pretty high-paying career with a great wife and come from a fantastic family that was full of love, stability and support. But about 12 years when I was in my late 20s, out of nowhere. BAM. Anxiety and depression. I eventually got it very under control with medication (after therapy wasn't doing totally doing the trick for me personally) for a long time. Then about six months ago it hit me again...hard. Sucking it up, powering through and sticking to the routines in my life was crucial to not totally sinking into the abyss and losing control (especially vital was staying active athletically via lifting weights and, most importantly, getting out there and riding. It doesn't get much more important than physical activity when dealing with depression), but I didn't get any real relief from some pretty awful, and at times damn scary, symptoms until I went back into therapy and switched meds (anti-depresants can lose effectiveness over time). 

I hope your current improvement continues and this was just an anomaly, but please look after yourself, man. My advice as someone whose been there and back (but will probably never be "free and clear"), even when you get this new job, try to find a therapist you like and trust. It may take going to one or two to find the right fit, but don't take this stuff lightly. And I would never say, "and get on meds" since I don't know you or your situation and you may not need them at all, so don't take this as a recommendation, but I will say there's no shame in it.


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## surftime (Nov 15, 2010)

Seriously take my advice that I mentioned above
Read some Napoleon Hill books and maybe some Brian Tracy books for more up to date philosophy on how to think

I know you will hear it all the time to just read this book - but seriously Napoleon Hill laid out a new philosophy on how succeed and how to change the way you think. Read his first book "think and grow rich" and you will learn more practical information than you did from your college degree (of which we both have the same degree - you mentioned you had a MicroBiology degree right?)


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## quattrokid73 (Feb 16, 2007)

I agree with the above poster. Depression and anxiety are in my blood. While I don't feel like a depressed person, I can certainly see these genes manifesting themselves in my disposition. About two years ago it was so bad that I did see a therapist and get on some medication. It really helped. And like the above poster said, things were rolling smoothly until just recently. That's how it goes. 

The trick is to not rest on old techniques and realize that wellbeing is an ongoing process. Exercise helps a ton. It is one of the best techniques for building wellbeing because exertion releases Seratonin. Don't be afraid to talk to close friends about your feelings. When I was feeling really shitty the other day, I had an hour long conversation with a good bud and fellow rider of mine. I felt much better afterwards, because not only did I have his support, but formulating my thoughts into words is cathartic and helps straighten one's mind out.


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## tcapri87 (Jan 17, 2009)

graduate school maybe...
keep riding


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## Dion (Oct 22, 2009)

I have a younger friend going through some "life" issues, exactly what you're talking about. He did everything he was "supposed" to do - college + degree = go find work. A couple of weeks ago we spent, like, 2 hours on the phone hashing this stuff out, and last night we chatted more about it. He was also talking about how he has some friends that are making it big time, and others that are already starting families... and then he feels like he's in limbo-land. He's depressed about how things aren't "clicking" and he's feeling demotivated, as well.

To me, *mid-20's SUCK*! I hated my mid-20's and I was so out of touch with everything. I was living at home after finishing school and working in a gym and a bar bouncer on the weekends. When I finally got a job, it still sucked because I wasn't making as much money as my friends who were in trade careers. Some of my friends were already getting married and having kids.

I remember being depressed, unmotivated and lost. Complete limbo.

Things started to come into focus in my early 30's and now I feel like I'm the man I'm supposed to be. With a solid career and business, I really feel like I have a handle on things and able to manage myself and the ones around me. Raising a family is what is more important to me.

Don't fret. For a lot of us, this feeling you're having was very common after college. Just take it day by day and avoid negativity and negative people (had a few of these roaming around my life back then). Life doesn't get any easier, you just get better at managing it.


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## ksechler (Nov 8, 2004)

It's called depression Spazzy. We all go through it from time to time. The important thing is to keep a positive outlook and keep moving forward with your life. Even if you have to force yourself off the couch do it. As has been said:

You're not sick.
You're not injured.
You have a place to live and food to eat.
You have an education.
You have a girlfriend.
Sack up and get over yourself. Your life doesn't suck.


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## frntrngcactus (Mar 1, 2005)

You have the rest of your life to work, relax. Stop and smell the roses, you accomplished a great achievement by graduating college, in a few years you will look back and wish you had some down time. Enjoy.


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## socalMX (Oct 31, 2009)

I agree with some! There are MILLIONS of people in this world suffering! Its time to allow your balls to drop off! EVERYONE goes through these moments and your true character will soon show up! Either get over it and start enjoying life again, OR continue down this path and fall deeper watching things dissapear from your life like the girl! You will end up all alone a bitter old man! Doesnt the first option sound better!!! Sounds like you need a reallity check more than a pep talk! I grew up a white kid in a gang infested suburb of Los Angeles! Survived the mayhem and now im a super happy 39 year old that surfs, snowboards, races quad MX and MTB!!! Man up and good luck!!!


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## andyb_aka_shredward (Feb 14, 2010)

ksechler said:


> It's called depression Spazzy. We all go through it from time to time. The important thing is to keep a positive outlook and keep moving forward with your life. Even if you have to force yourself off the couch do it. As has been said:
> 
> You're not sick.
> You're not injured.
> ...


Because of first hand experiences, I gotta take objection to giving this kind of advice to someone you don't really know anything about...someone who may have real clinical depression/anxiety (they usually go hand in hand) which can be the result of genetics and other serious issue. Yes, there are external triggers that one must work hard to deal with, but that's just one of many parts of dealing with depression/anxiety. I'm not diagnosing Spazzy here, because I don't know him or his internal experiences beyond what he's (bravely) shared in his posting. I'm speaking in general terms here. I just get really tired of the no-two-ways-about it "just suck it up" advice that gets thrown around by people who, though well meaning, apparently don't have a clue about what real clinical depression/anxiety is all about. It just shames people who could be suffering from serious sh*t. I'll repeat, I don't really know what's going on with Spazzy, but do you think Spazzy hasn't thought of just sucking it up already? He seems like an intelligent, educated person from a good background. He stated already that he's fully aware that he's got a lof of good things going on his life and realizes it's silly for him to feel this way...yet he still does! Read into that.

A while back I would have been one of the ignorant (and I don't use that word in a hostile way, but by definition) people who would have thought one gets out of depression/anxiety by just sucking it up and realizing that your life's not that bad. But then, unfortunately, in my late 20s my family's genes caught up with me and I started dealing with it first hand, and I can tell you, a perceived lack of quality of life has very little to do with it. I've got a great life and a loving family, and I'm fully aware of that. But your brain, when just slightly off on a chemical level, doesn't really give a sh*t. I also learned first hand that the symptoms of anxiety and depression has little to do with the everyday experiences with the common emotions of feeling down and/or nervous about things. I think that's what steers people toward the "suck it up" advice: they think, hey, everyone feels down and nervous sometimes, you just stop feeling sorry for yourself and you'll be okay. This notion is completely erroneous. When chemicals in the brain aren't going where they're supposed to be going, it goes way beyond just emotions and goes into the realm of symptoms and experiences. Panic attacks and anxiety are truly horrifying. I always likened it to a negative mushroom trip. You're feeling out of control of your brain and thoughts, but there's little you can do about it. No amount of "sucking it up" is going to help (though I have learned over time and with experience to talk myself down, it's not me just reminding myself that life's not that bad). When people suffering from depression slip out of the routines of their life, it's not because "they just don't feel like" going to work and dealing with life. (Who the hell doesn't feel like that from time to time...or often? Yet we do it anyway because we're in our right mind). People who drop out of life do so because they are so consumed with these symptoms, frightened and putting all their energy into just holding onto their sanity that they simply don't have the mental capacity to do work. After years of having things under control with medication, I recently had a pretty serious boute out of nowhere when my medication stopped working (I did some intense therapy to deal with external factors and switched meds and am doing well again). Fortunately I always managed to power through and was able to do my work (I'm an advertising creative and writer), but it was extremely difficult. And not just in emotional terms, but practical. There were times when I felt so out of it that it was difficult to write stuff that under normal circumstances I could have written half asleep. As you can imagine, It's f*cking frightening to not be able to do things that are normally simple, and it has nothing to do with just feeling blue and distracted by everyday problems. Why do you think people go to the extreme length of ending their life? It's because they're living in an out of control hell.

I know I've gone on and on, and I'm sure some may be rolling their eyes and still don't get it, but because of my firsthand experience and education, it's something I'm passionate about. Please take it from an intelligent, very practical, down to earth (read: I'm not a drama queen looking for attention because daddy didn't love me) person who has a kick ass life, but still had issues: telling someone who may be suffering from serious mental conditions to just "suck it up" is like telling someone with a compound fracture to just put a band-aid on it. Yeah, we've all had friends we've had to verbally smack around for being overly-whiney pussies about stuff we all deal with in life (I think we've all been one of them plenty of times), but if things are going beyond the norm, rethink your advice.


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## GPRider08 (Aug 22, 2008)

Andy, thank you so much for sharing your story and personal views. Depression truly is a misunderstood hell to endure for the afflicted person, as well as those around them. Fortunately, it sounds like Spazzy is doing better, so it may just have been a case of the blues. With that said, if you're just trying to convince yourself or us, Spazzy, or the these feelings come back or get worse, you really need to go see someone. The advice on here is not entirely sound. For a serious issue like this, the help of a professional would be your best bet. If you aren't sure what's going on with you, there are some warning signs to consider. Again, I'm not a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination, but these seem to really make since.

First, when was the last time you felt happy, or anything at all? I don't mean little moments that brought a slight smile, I mean times when you really thought "Damn, this is a good day." If you can't recall a time in recent memory when you felt nothing but sad or irritable, or when you felt anything at all, that's not good. A numb or hopeless feeling is common with depression.

Are you irritable? If you find yourself snapping over small things that didn't bother you, or just generally being nasty for no good reason, that's a potential sign.

How capable are you at focusing? If you're, say, sitting in the garage wrenching on your bike, do you just wind up spacing out for periods of time? If you are constantly distracted and unable to complete tasks, that's a possible sign. At least, if you aren't normally ADD.

Do you have a total loss in your desire to do anything at all, such as hobbies, see friends or family? It sounds like you did at one point, and this is a major sign, which is why I don't think you should have been dismissed as just having the blues.

Do you have suicidal thoughts? A big one, and if you do, seek help now!!

Sleep? Do you sleep much more than normal, or not enough at all? Do you always feel tired, even if you slept for a long period of time?

Eating. Do you eat much less than normal, or are you now eating constantly when you at one time didn't feel the need to do so?

I, too, have suffered from depression, though mine was a result of a series of negative events. I a couple of months' time, my cousin, whom I considered more of a brother, died in a car accident, I lost my job, my GF of three years, who had talked about marrying when we got out of college dumped me for her ex out of the blue, a good friend drowned, and both of my dogs died. I was having a hard time finding a new job and wound up selling plasma for money. I was at a point where I stopped leaving my parents' house, I slept until about 2 PM every day (not a norm for me), even if I went to bed at 10 or 11. I stopped looking for a job, stopped talking to friends, and though I was never suicidal, I felt if I died, not a soul in the world would really care. I didn't realize it then, but now I see I needed help. Fortunately, I came out of it on my own after a few months. I've been good since.

However, I now am starting to see it from the outside, as my wife has some of the signs of depression. What's even more scary is hers isn't related to environmental factors, either, as we have a pretty good life and family. Her family has a history of it, but we had thought she avoided it. Fortunately, after lashing out at our son twice in a couple of days for no good reason and feeling horrible about it, she's decided she needs to talk to the doctor when she sees him next week, and try to get a reference to a psychologist. I guess I've turned this into a depression PSA, but this is a truly serious and frightening disease. It also helps me get my fears off my chest a little without telling anyone I know because not a person in my circle of friends or family can keep a secret.


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## sooner518 (Aug 1, 2007)

To OP, I've totally been there. Finished college. GF broke up with me because I was graduating before she was and probably moving away. Moved out of state and felt horrible for months. Had zero friends in the new city (Chicago) aside from my roommate. 

I resorted to applying to Starbucks and ice cream store. Finally got offered ajob at Starbucks. Literally the day before I started there, I got offered a real job. The job transferred me to a new city (Denver) where I was able to live with my best friend and had a couple other friends around who got me indoctrinated into the new city. 

I moved to Chicago in September after graduating. Got the job in November. Moved to Denver in April and probably didnt get to feeling content and happy until May or June. It can take a long time and I know lots of my friends from college have had some sort of post-college depression. Exercise a lot, force yourself out of your comfort zone when it comes to hanging out with people and doing new things. 

Now, 7 years later, I ended up working that job for 3 years, moved to Texas to get back together with that same girlfriend, got married to her, went back to grad school, finished that, and have a better job in a new city. and I bought myself an awesome bike with my new job's signing bonus 


And people telling the OP to "just sack up": get over yourself. Everyone has their own difficulties in life. You're no different from anyone else. Just because his difficulties are different from yours doesn't make his invalid.


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## andyb_aka_shredward (Feb 14, 2010)

GPRider08 said:


> Andy, thank you so much for sharing your story and personal views. Depression truly is a misunderstood hell to endure for the afflicted person, as well as those around them. Fortunately, it sounds like Spazzy is doing better, so it may just have been a case of the blues. With that said, if you're just trying to convince yourself or us, Spazzy, or the these feelings come back or get worse, you really need to go see someone...


Thanks for the back-up, man. Because of my personal experience, I've become kind of a walking PSA as well. I know that a lot of people have a level of shame from these kind of issues, and that's their business, but I've never been one of them. I may even over-share. Ha. But I've found, even though my issues have never been externally apparent, that letting letting people close to me what's going on is therapeutic. I've also always considered myself a good person to try to clear up misconceptions about mental problems because I'm a pretty normal dude who is making a nice living and have a really sweet life. Sure, I have some issues like everyone else, which played a role in triggering my problems, but I think I'm proof that this sh*t can rock anyone. I'm not your stereotypical goth moping around because of a nightmare childhood.

Andy
mtshredward.com


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## SJKevin (Nov 30, 2011)

Went through the same thing 8 years ago and to a lessor extent when I finished grad school a year ago. It's easy to get caught up in whatever big event is on the horizon. Personally, starting my first real job broke me out the rut but looking at it in retrospect, those days when you have graduation gift money and no real responsibility can be a great opportunity to do some things you may never have the time or freedom to do again. 8 years later I have a wife a newborn and a good career but there are limits on what I can do and where I can go (without being divorced/unemployed). It sounds cliche but everyday is a gift and you're not guaranteed another. Make the most of it.


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## spazzy (Aug 15, 2004)

Hey guys, thanks to all who posted and gave advice!

Update: Well last weekend I was offered a position, I was unsure if i would like it or not, but i took it anyway just to have a job. Well...I hated it, it was the worst job ive ever had, it just wasnt working out for me. I was miserable on friday I told them it wasnt working out for me. I am currently job searching again.


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## ksechler (Nov 8, 2004)

*You should take your own advice*

You really unloaded on me pretty good there. Funny because you are berating me for making assumptions about Spazzy's life while making assumptions about what my experiences are and how well qualified I am to offer that advice.

I know what depression is and I know what anxiety attacks are. I know what clonazepam is. I know about counseling. I know what it is like to need drugs to sleep. Have you ever sat accross from your four young children and told them their mom was dying? I have.

I never told anyone to suck it up. I believe the gist of the message was to try to focus on the positive things in your life.



andyb_aka_shredward said:


> Because of first hand experiences, I gotta take objection to giving this kind of advice to someone you don't really know anything about...someone who may have real clinical depression/anxiety (they usually go hand in hand) which can be the result of genetics and other serious issue. Yes, there are external triggers that one must work hard to deal with, but that's just one of many parts of dealing with depression/anxiety. I'm not diagnosing Spazzy here, because I don't know him or his internal experiences beyond what he's (bravely) shared in his posting. I'm speaking in general terms here. I just get really tired of the no-two-ways-about it "just suck it up" advice that gets thrown around by people who, though well meaning, apparently don't have a clue about what real clinical depression/anxiety is all about. It just shames people who could be suffering from serious sh*t. I'll repeat, I don't really know what's going on with Spazzy, but do you think Spazzy hasn't thought of just sucking it up already? He seems like an intelligent, educated person from a good background. He stated already that he's fully aware that he's got a lof of good things going on his life and realizes it's silly for him to feel this way...yet he still does! Read into that.
> 
> A while back I would have been one of the ignorant (and I don't use that word in a hostile way, but by definition) people who would have thought one gets out of depression/anxiety by just sucking it up and realizing that your life's not that bad. But then, unfortunately, in my late 20s my family's genes caught up with me and I started dealing with it first hand, and I can tell you, a perceived lack of quality of life has very little to do with it. I've got a great life and a loving family, and I'm fully aware of that. But your brain, when just slightly off on a chemical level, doesn't really give a sh*t. I also learned first hand that the symptoms of anxiety and depression has little to do with the everyday experiences with the common emotions of feeling down and/or nervous about things. I think that's what steers people toward the "suck it up" advice: they think, hey, everyone feels down and nervous sometimes, you just stop feeling sorry for yourself and you'll be okay. This notion is completely erroneous. When chemicals in the brain aren't going where they're supposed to be going, it goes way beyond just emotions and goes into the realm of symptoms and experiences. Panic attacks and anxiety are truly horrifying. I always likened it to a negative mushroom trip. You're feeling out of control of your brain and thoughts, but there's little you can do about it. No amount of "sucking it up" is going to help (though I have learned over time and with experience to talk myself down, it's not me just reminding myself that life's not that bad). When people suffering from depression slip out of the routines of their life, it's not because "they just don't feel like" going to work and dealing with life. (Who the hell doesn't feel like that from time to time...or often? Yet we do it anyway because we're in our right mind). People who drop out of life do so because they are so consumed with these symptoms, frightened and putting all their energy into just holding onto their sanity that they simply don't have the mental capacity to do work. After years of having things under control with medication, I recently had a pretty serious boute out of nowhere when my medication stopped working (I did some intense therapy to deal with external factors and switched meds and am doing well again). Fortunately I always managed to power through and was able to do my work (I'm an advertising creative and writer), but it was extremely difficult. And not just in emotional terms, but practical. There were times when I felt so out of it that it was difficult to write stuff that under normal circumstances I could have written half asleep. As you can imagine, It's f*cking frightening to not be able to do things that are normally simple, and it has nothing to do with just feeling blue and distracted by everyday problems. Why do you think people go to the extreme length of ending their life? It's because they're living in an out of control hell.
> 
> I know I've gone on and on, and I'm sure some may be rolling their eyes and still don't get it, but because of my firsthand experience and education, it's something I'm passionate about. Please take it from an intelligent, very practical, down to earth (read: I'm not a drama queen looking for attention because daddy didn't love me) person who has a kick ass life, but still had issues: telling someone who may be suffering from serious mental conditions to just "suck it up" is like telling someone with a compound fracture to just put a band-aid on it. Yeah, we've all had friends we've had to verbally smack around for being overly-whiney pussies about stuff we all deal with in life (I think we've all been one of them plenty of times), but if things are going beyond the norm, rethink your advice.


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## andyb_aka_shredward (Feb 14, 2010)

ksechler said:


> You really unloaded on me pretty good there. Funny because you are berating me for making assumptions about Spazzy's life while making assumptions about what my experiences are and how well qualified I am to offer that advice.
> 
> I know what depression is and I know what anxiety attacks are. I know what clonazepam is. I know about counseling. I know what it is like to need drugs to sleep. Have you ever sat accross from your four young children and told them their mom was dying? I have.
> 
> I never told anyone to suck it up. I believe the gist of the message was to try to focus on the positive things in your life.


I'm not sure how you think I unloaded on you personally. I was making no assumptions about you personally or your experience. What I took exception to is the lack of allowance for the fact that there are cases where there is much more to getting through depression than realizing that life isn't that bad. You've made this absence even more puzzling given the fact that you do have experience in this area.

That being said, as I re-read your original posting, I admit I read more of a "suck it up dude" attitude than I should have. I projected my disappointment from the number of these kinds of responses in this thread onto your response, which I shouldn't have done (The fact that you quoted from one of these more careless postings did not help). For that I apologize. Your posting took the brunt of my frustration when your posting was hardly the most caviler and flip. It was poor timing and quoting on my part.

However, (and please don't take this as a lack of sympathy) I must note that I find it extremely unfair to use your own tragic experience with your wife and children as a weapon in an attempt to lessen the validity of my own experiences in comparison to yours. No, I can not claim to have ever dealt with such a horrific situation, or anything close to it. But in this particular circumstance I don't think that's relevant. And what if I had experienced such things, or worse? Are you looking to have a tragedy-off with me to prove how qualified you are? Such details were unnecessary in making your point.

I apologize that I misread your tone. I think we've both made our point and it should be clear that both of our hearts are in the right place, so I'll not engage in any further back and forth on the matter.


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## Punta Lobos (Sep 29, 2007)

Dude, as long as you are not in the Nam, then the rest of your life is gravy. That is a line from Platoon. Watch that movie and then read the book Matterhorn. After you watch Platoon and read this book, you will realize that your life is great. You are not slogging it out in Afghanistan and being shot at by azzholes in 3rd world countries. Life is great. You have potential and can do whatever you want. 

Sounds like you are burned out from school etc and need to regroup. Also, living back at home can be very unhealthy for a person your age who has been away at school living free and clear. Also, get your thyroid checked. If your thryroid is not working right it can make you depressed and thryroid problems are very common and easy to fix. Get some sunlight as well and you might perk up. Probably the worst thing you can do is hang out at the parents house for too long. Being bored can be terrible for you and you can go down the tubes fast. 

Despite what the Democrats want to tell you, the economy sucks, so perhaps you should go travel for a couple months when your girl has her summer break from teaching. You are in such a unique place in life where you have a ton of freedom, you should really take advantage of it. This time in your life where you have free time and a lot of directions to go will not come around again as you get older.

good luck.


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## Punta Lobos (Sep 29, 2007)

Life sucks until you realize how good you actually have it.


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## AndrwSwitch (Nov 8, 2007)

My mid-20s were both very awesome and very difficult.

You've spent your childhood and adolescence having goals and structure provided for you.

All of a sudden, you're free. Probably any number of people who you are used to having tell you what you're doing, either implicitly or explicitly, are asking you what you want to do.

Kinda scary.

I did a bunch of things after college. Not including starting the career path I'm on now.

For a while, I was feeling a bit self conscious about it. Other people from my high school graduating class (1999) have careers now. Some have children. I'm sure some already have divorces. I'm back in school. Worse yet, to now I've been surrounded by undergrads. At least a lot of other people my age are doing the same thing...

But actually, I did a bunch of cool stuff. Not all of it was particularly important, but it was varied, some of it was fun, some of it was stuff I never want to do again, and since I did a fair amount of stagecraft, I got to see a side of theater, event production, and a couple of cities that's hidden from most people.

I could have been in some cubicle. I may still end up in some cubicle, at least for a while. But I feel like I'm approaching a lot of things older, more assertive and more disciplined. Getting a do-over on some of my undergraduate education (I'm now working on a MS, having a BA left me with a lot of prerequisites) has been a real eye-opener in what I've learned.

Definitely get a job. If nothing else, it gives you the independence and self-determination of being able to pay for stuff, and the structure of having something to do every day.

Think about getting a shrink, if you can pay for it. I did, and it was actually a very useful thing for me.

And don't worry too much about the future... it's malleable, unless you get struck by lightning. Then you either don't care or end up talking about the experience on the Discovery Channel. In which case your future is still malleable.

I think there's something to be said for staying at least tangentially within your field. At the same time, a BS is a surprisingly interchangeable degree with every other BS. It means you're capable of quantifying something and pulling meaning out of numbers. Just like a BA means you're capable of collecting unemployment. spouting ******** pushing road cases critical thinking. So if you end up doing something else, that's cool too. Adult life goes in surprising directions, and people whose circumstances don't limit them too much usually find their way into the right combination of something they're good at and something that's engaging.


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## spazzy (Aug 15, 2004)

Time for a thread update...

Thanks to everyone that gave me some inspiration/good vibes/advice.

About a month or 6 weeks ago I applied for a pharmacy tech position thinking pharmacy school was a possibility. Well I ended up getting the job and beating out several more experienced candidates, probably because its a unique environment that I can niche into. Its a small, non chain pharmacy in the heart of downtown Madison.

I'm not loving every second of my new career but I dont want to gouge my eyes out everyday either, it definitely pays the bills and I am learning, it helps that I am working hand in hand with pharmacists treated as equals. Often being consulted with on weird chemistry/biology questions that come up.

I came to some conclusions that I do need more education to be happy and have it narrowed down between Pharmacy, Physicians Assistant or Med schools. Now I just need some experience in each category. I am doing some job shadowing and volunteering to go along with my pharmacy experience.

Mentally I am feeling much much better.

Now only if mother nature wouldn't rain on my days off, so I could get out and ride


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## Eric Z (Sep 28, 2008)

good to hear, spaz. glad you landed a gig you enjoy. the fields you're looking at are good ones. hope you don't have to go so much in debt to get there- that's never fun!

good luck!
ez


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## Blurr (Dec 7, 2009)

Idle mind is a devils work shop.

Get a job, stay active, and life always looks better.


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## AndrwSwitch (Nov 8, 2007)

Well, that's why they call it work. It sounds like some aspects are challenging and rewarding; for me that's what makes a good job.

For me, pharmacy, physician assistant or med. school would be an easy choice. I want to be the boss, and sometimes I'm a workaholic. So med. school. But it's a much longer period of additional education.

My brother, who's working extraordinarily hard at being a neurosurgery resident right now, would describe pharmacy and physician assistant as lifestyle professions. They don't necessarily work a bajillion hours a week, they get to use their vacation days, and they make a good money. Some kinds of doctors go home after forty hours too, do procedures, and don't have much liability to worry about. Like dermatologists (per my brother again.)

Not that I think you should go back to school yet. I think way too many people rush it; I'm glad I didn't. But maybe take some standardized tests now, while things are fresher in your mind. Your scores will keep until you decide if you're going to do something with them. They're not that expensive in the grand scheme of things.


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## Skeptastic (Mar 31, 2012)

s0ckeyeus said:


> At this point, you don't necessarily need a career; you might just need a job. I know I started feeling like a waste of space for a while until I started working. I didn't know what I wanted to do as a career, but I got a decent job that has payed the bills until I discovered what I wanted to do. I'm going to grad school now, so hopefully things work out afterward.
> 
> Good luck. The college to real world jump can be hard, but you'll figure it out.


This is precisely my experience. After a Bachelor's, you kind of just have to land a job and experience the working world. Once you do that for some time, you'll likely have some dissatisfaction with what you're doing, or at least wonder if you're potential is being limited. Still, you might love what you do, and find you're completely happy with what you do.

I start graduate school in June, and earned my Bachelor's in 2006. As you can likely deduce, it took me years to decide to further my formal education credentials. I got sick of average-at-best jobs, while also enjoying a career in music, but am now looking forward to preparing for a career in a field that I'm passionate about. I still do music, but I've discovered other passions as well, and one can never ignore those!

As far as losing interest in biking (as well as other previously-enjoyed activities), it could be that you've come to associate those activities with your collegiate experience and now that it's ended, they don't feel quite the same. As far as biking, specifically, I say just get back on that bike and go! I hadn't ridden a bike in over 16 years until 3 weeks ago though, so my perspective on riding is different than some others. I'm thrilled with biking right now, and spend a lot of my waking moments thinking about and planning my next bike purchase. I am as far from uninterested in bike riding as one can possibly be, haha.

Really though, you'll sort it all out over time, I'm sure. You're transitioning, and it's weird. My first two jobs after graduating from the university paid $9/hr and $8.65/hr, respectively. It was eye-opening, to say the very least, and the overall process of going from student to working man helped me grow some extra hair on my chest, so-to-speak. You'll grow and benefit from the experience, no matter how trying or confusing it is at the present time. Best of fortune to you in all of your pursuits! You're in a position envied by many, globally. Be proud, enjoy it, and let it come to you, but remain ambitious and never let anything steal your joy, most importantly.


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## miatagal96 (Jul 5, 2005)

Congratulations on your job Spazzy. I don't know many people who loved their first job. I didn't love my first job after college either but it allowed me to get my feet under me and get a little savings base and buy a car. It also helped me figure out more what I liked and didn't like and it gave me some good experience. 

Concentrate on doing things you love in your spare time.


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## Ska (Jan 12, 2004)

spazzy said:


> Time for a thread update...
> 
> Thanks to everyone that gave me some inspiration/good vibes/advice.
> 
> ...


I've read a bunch of the responses (not all) and I just wanted to add a couple of things.

I initially felt that lull you spoke of after graduation (the first time) but that faded after a while.

Initially (after my first run way back when) I graduated and became a Cartographer/GIS Mapping Specialist. Absolutely LOVED my work. I loved it so much that I helped my boss build the mapping end of his business up tenfold. I was aggressive and passionate. We landed tons of work and I was very busy.

I ran the mapping department and enjoyed getting up in the morning. It was a DREAM. Greatest job (to me) on earth. Then, after a while, my boss was getting used to the money and spending far more time on the golf course as opposed to in the office dealing with some of his clients and issues in the legal department which was also being run there at the time. Long story short, I was picking up the slack in the mapping end and spending more time at the office than at home. I slept MANY nights on my leather couch in my office.

Riding? Not a chance. Depressed? Getting there.

After a while, I started feeling kinda sick (due to stress from trying to meet deadlines and aggressive (not that I blame them) clients). Ulcers were not far off. I was definitely burning out......getting sick.

One night I sat down in front of my wife and told her I was thinking of going back to school. We were planning on starting a family so it was a HUGE move. Being the cool girl she is, she was all for it (clearly seeing/living my misery at the time) noticing that I wasn't the same person anymore.

We put everything on hold for 4 years while I studied chemical production. 4 years. My daughter would be 10 now and my son 7 had we not made that decision. It had to be done though. It was a good move.

Happy now and glad I made the move. I still very much miss my old passion that is cartography (and especially the problem solving side of GIS mapping) and haven't produced any maps since I left that job but I can see myself going back to it as a hobby some day. I miss it that much.

My point is, if you're not happy, move on no matter what. Tough to make the initial move (because change can suck) but it usually ends in your favor. At least it has in my experience.

Still recently, feeling stagnant in my current job I decided to put in for a lateral move to another area within the company. A year and a half later I got the call and moved over. Very happy I did it. Learning all the time and it's been GREAT!

Only downside now is that I have more government certification exams to pass.

Tough to study when kids are crawling all over you wanting to play.

Time to ride? YES. I make time. Great way to escape, unwind, think and workout.

Bikes.............greatest invention in history.

Feeling down? Avoid some of the "suck it up" comments. The bike might not seem appealing when you're down but, often, if you pick yourself up enough to get rolling, it pulls you right out of that slump. The trick is to just get rolling.

Personally I a have never had to but If you need help............find it. There are many places and people around you. Depression is real. Be careful with it if you suffer from it.

Congrats on the new job and congrats for being one who doesn't like a stagnant mind.


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## HelloMyNameIsSean (Sep 14, 2011)

ksechler said:


> It's called depression Spazzy. We all go through it from time to time. The important thing is to keep a positive outlook and keep moving forward with your life. Even if you have to force yourself off the couch do it. As has been said:
> 
> You're not sick.
> You're not injured.
> ...


This is useless - Depression is real, and much different than the little ruts we all get into. Depression is a constant sinking feeling that you get sucked deeper and deeper into, unlike the ruts that work them self out.


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## HelloMyNameIsSean (Sep 14, 2011)

spazzy said:


> Time for a thread update...
> 
> Thanks to everyone that gave me some inspiration/good vibes/advice.
> 
> ...


Glad to hear your doing well :thumbsup:

But I would get ready to ride in the rain. Two summers ago, I think it rained every single day I had off, or at least it felt like it.


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## modifier (May 11, 2007)

To the OP. Glad things are looking up to you. 

Even though it's hard to realize when you're in a funk, unless you are clinically depressed, it really does seem to be all about concentrating on the positive things you can do and ignoring the things you can't change that get you bummed out.

If you think being 20 something is hard just wait until your 50s roll around.  If you don't have it all figured out by then, either in reality or at least in your mind, that's when the shite hits the fan. No more excuses because of lack of experience left in your pocket by that point.

Bikes are always there for you. Unlike people you can "fix" them. Riding in the woods is the most therapeutic thing I have ever experienced and about the only thing I have never gotten bored with.


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## aikane (Mar 21, 2012)

To the OP,
Go out and ride in the rain. Find some mud and tear it up. Ride til every ounce of fabric on your body, including your shoes, is soaked through. When you are cold and miserable, go home and take a hot shower, put on some warm clothes, and have some soup. At this point realize how much better you feel, warm inside and out. Life is the same way, everyday has the potential for improvement. It's what YOU make of it. 











And don't forget to clean your bike.:madman:


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## spazzy (Aug 15, 2004)

Digging this up from the GRAAAVEE

Update: Ended up staying with my current Pharm Tech job, loving it. I applied to Pharmacy School and got in. I start in the fall!

With a year of clinical experience under my belt I can say I was depressed and probably should have been on some form of meds (ssri, snri, tri-cyclic) instead of self medicating with booze. But things have definitely gotten way better. I am saving up for school and I am putting together a new bike (see post in the general section)

A big thank you to all that commented and read my ups and downs. Your support was appreciated more than you can comprehend!


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## beautytravel (May 9, 2013)

i graduated June,2011.The college life is beautiful and smoothly,we don't need to worry about our work,life stress and our future.But now i have been graduated 2 years,I think this life is not what i want.


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