# Hell Ride 4 My piece of hell



## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

Sorry for taking my dandy old time writing this up. An unplanned overnight stay at the Chicago airport left me a little drained.

One knows very little when they enter the Hellride contest. You know that winning means you get to ride 60-75 miles and climb over 13,000 feet, and that there will be a couple pros stomping the course at the same time you’re dragging your sorry ass behind them. If you finish the ride you win a new Santa Cruz Nomad that you just spent the whole day getting very familiar with riding all over the mountains that loom over the small town of Downieville (which I think should be renamed Uppieville as I barely remember riding down anything). All the other obscure details are in the gray areas, off the borders of the map, and beyond definition. Oh yeah, they did bother to mention that this course should be the hardest ever. Thanks.

I spent the better part of Friday traveling on planes and in cars with my enormous duffel of superfluous items that I thought I might need for the trip. When we finally pulled into Downieville I thought it looked like the facade of Frontier Land at Disney World. We stopped in at Yuba Expeditions to check on the bikes and meet more people than you can shake a people meeting stick at. My bike was waiting for the arrival of the solitary 36 tooth front chainring so I wasn’t able to hop on it right away. Just before suppertime the ring arrived and was mounted quickly so I could bed in the brakes and attempt to dial in the suspension (note that I said “attempt”). I rode the bike around the parking lot, bounced up and down, and decided it was close enough for government work.

We headed across the street for some quality eats and conversation. I put down enough bread and pasta to feed a large Italian family and washed it down with a pitcher of water. Then we all headed back to the shop to put down the traditional night before the Hell Ride shot of liquor. Nothing quite soothes a bloated stomach like a shot of tequila. Urrrrpp. I put down my shot glass and headed back to the room. I’d been up for over twenty hours straight, and I was feeling like ass.

I woke up when my East Coast internal clock started ringing three hours before the start of the ride. I killed some time watching my portable DVD player until everybody started stirring in the “treehouse”. We headed off to a fine breakfast where I enjoyed some eggs cooked in bacon grease covered in salsa and chased down with all the coffee I could scrounge. I only needed to get enough food in my belly for the first loop as we would pass right by the grocery store before we head into the second and final loop. The charred embryo pig meat gut-bomb combo would certainly keep me fueled up for a long time, or not.

I have no idea when we left for the ride exactly, but instead of it being joined by Weir, Sarah, and Rachel I was in a group with Weir and his merry men from WTB and Santa Cruz. Some were just along for the ride and Danno from Santa Cruz was there to serve as my major mechanical support. I was carrying what I needed for basic repairs, but he had spare mechs, hangers, and what-not in his pack to make sure a major malfunction wouldn’t end my day. We headed out of Downieville at a neutral pace, but as we entered the first climb the pace went through the roof. I held onto the back of the pack for awhile, then I rode in their settling dust, and finally they were out of sight. Huh? Not what I expected, but I guess that’s how it was going to go.

I climbed alone for quite awhile until I finally caught back up to one of the merry men, and just like that he popped and went off the back. A little while later I caught up to Danno and another rider, and soon after that they fell out of my rear view mirror and back down the mountain. I continued climbing alone up the loose and steep doubletrack and at most of the intersections a moto rider would point me in the right direction. Occasionally the trail would give me a chance to recover with a short descent, but unfortunately I found out that my parking lot suspension test wasn’t thorough enough. The fork was diving way too deep into it’s travel and packing up while the rear was shooting my ass up in the air. Obviously I was wishing I had spent more time tuning the suspension, but luckily I kept running into Greg from Yuba on his moto, and he would tweak it a little bit here and there to get the bike back in line. I was incredibly thankful as I really didn’t want to do the whole ride with a six inch fork locked out (as I had for the first umpteen miles). I didn’t have a watch, but I figure I climbed for 2/3’s of an eternity until I popped up out above the tree line. It was finally time to go downhill (well mostly downhill).

The downhill is just a blur in my memory bank. Riding over petrified footballs and deep powdery dirt at high rates of speed is pretty much all consuming and hypnotic. I finally realized I had been riding for too many hours fueled only by my greasy breakfast and one gel, so I took a short break to suck back two gels and shake the cobwebs outta my brain. Before I knew it I was back in town at the grocery store buying Gatorade, Coke, Nutter Butter’s, and peanut M&M’s. The Gatorade went in my Camelbak, the Nutter Butter’s went in my pant leg, the M&M’s went in my jersey pocket, and the Coke went straight down my throat. I was good to go out for round two.

Dane from WTB decided to head out with me on the second loop. I was told it was a gravel road climb instead of the crazy loose stuff, but that it was a "little steep" at the beginning. Less than ten minutes in I stopped to "butter my muffin" so to speak. My taint was starting to feel the effects of climbing on the front of the saddle and some TLC was required. Dane rode on ahead, but I caught back up to him and eventually he dropped back out of sight. The road had some steep-ass pitches and in between the gut wrenching sections I pounded my Nutter Butter's. When I went to eat the M&M's the bag was soaking wet with sweat, and it spilled it's vital contents onto the dusty gravel road as I pulled it from my jersey pocket. Being a person of low standards I found that they were still quite tasty after being covered with sweat and dirt, so I pulled over and collected my scattered morsels and had a nice picnic under the hot sun.

The climb continued, but the severity of the pitch decreased eventually. The moto guys were going ahead to make sure I made all the right turns... well almost all the right turns. I came to an unmanned fork in the road, so I pulled out my map so I could make an informed decision. Unfortunately this part of the course wasn't on the map, so I relied on my memory of a misunderstood suggestion. I zigged when I shoulda zagged, and I ended up climbing an extra mountain on a road that dead ended at a lookout tower. Ooops. I turned around and blasted down the mountain knowing the my moto companions would be looking for me. I got back to the missed turn and headed down the road balls-out trying to make up for lost time and vent some frustrations created by my detour.

I saw the motorcycle coming around the blind corner before I heard the engine noise over the rushing wind. He was blasting up the road looking for me and I was bombing down. I saw his eyes get real big and we both moved a little (I mean a little) to our respective rights. As we made our way past each other at a combined speed of well over 60MPH my handlebar passed under his. It was as if we were Blue Angels, except I was doing my share of the flying tricks piloting an ultralite aircraft. We both pulled up to a quick stop, and he apologized profusely. I was too pumped full of adrenalin to care about my mortality at the time, and was just glad we were both smiling when it was over.

From that point on I had a small decline in morale. The route took us above the treeline again and along some precarious slopes. These were the "I hope they find the body so my family can have closure" kinda drops, and my fear of heights was making me a little shakey. I was hoping for some relief, but the climb continued on swapping from one side of the mountain, over the ridge, and to the other side. The wind was so powerful that while I was on the right side of the mountain I was actually blown over twice while pushing my bike. By the time I reached the actual summit my hands were shaking and my eyes were bugging out of my head with fear, but at least it was over. Or was it?

I was so shaken up by the unrelenting exposure that I couldn't get my head back in the game. I was all over the trail, and a couple times I had some real "OH ****!" moments. I had to pull over, bang myself in the helmet, and get my head straight. I also dropped the PSI in my front tire way down, and then life got sooooo much better. Oh yeah, the double caffeine espresso Gu probably didn't hurt either. Things started falling into place, and easy street just got more crowded. Smiles and miles to go to the finish.

The last few miles required no effort. My bike and I had finally gotten familiar enough with each other that I was “pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain”. I got on the gas and enjoyed a pain free ride into town not feeling any of the miles I had put behind me in my legs. I wasn’t sure what was expected of me, but I felt like I had put in an honorable effort. I never saw Weir after the first twenty minutes or so, and I rode alone about 95% of the time. It was an incredible ride, and it was a nice private hell.

A big thanks to Santa Cruz for setting this up; the course, the support, the logistics, everything. Even if they took the new bike outta the equation the experience was still so worth it (but seriously, send that bike my way when you get a chance). The folks that told me I was lucky for being selected don't know the half of it. I usually have to pay people a lot of money to organize a painful experience for me. In the end Hell Ride was way more than I had hoped for. The isolation, the heavy bike, the big gear, the ridiculous climbs, the party, the people, the life.

Sweet, perfect suffering on two wheels, the way it should be.

Photos should be up soon on the Santa Cruz site.


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## ionsmuse (Jul 14, 2005)

'Preciate the writeup, pithy as usual. 

I gotta say, is this thing the Mark Weir ego-fest? Is he incapable of waiting for people, or were you two "racing" the whole time?


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## radair (Dec 19, 2002)

Congrats and all that. Doesn't sound like a very social event, but I guess it is titled "Hellride". Hey, at least you got a free bike and a killer trip out of it.


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## Jessep (Dec 1, 2004)

Excellent write up, sounds like good time Rich..


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## *rt* (Jan 15, 2004)

great job Rich!! you are my hero. 

i hit the Cowbell for you on Sat and spent the day (ok, only 6 hrs of the day) chasing ghosts in your honor. race rept will be up soon.

see you at ORAMM? (can't remember if you said you'd be there or not)

rt


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## ScottW (Jan 16, 2004)

Nice write up, sounds very tough. I gotta agree with ionsmuse about Weir. Santa Cruz could just do the event without him, have their support people and reps around to make sure you go the right way. 

Sounds like Weir is there due to contract obligations and couldn't give a flying [email protected] about actually riding with you or anyone else.


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## 29Colossus (Jun 4, 2006)

Congrats! Way to hammer it out.

I would be willing to bet that you are the only one that actually did the entire ride... and then some from the sound of it.

You left without the Nomad?


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## namrita (Jun 1, 2005)

nice!!! love the write-up...sounds like another killer trip. 

will we see a write-up from the girl..sarah?


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## CHUM (Aug 30, 2004)

freakin' stellar write-up....:thumbsup: Glad you enjoyed "Uppieville".....the town does turn back into Downieville once you forego the Hellride course....


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## jrm (Jan 12, 2004)

*what an adventure...*

Many props to you for completing the ride..except for

the bike...and being abandoning...


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## b1umb0y (Feb 28, 2005)

ScottW said:


> Sounds like Weir is there due to contract obligations and couldn't give a flying [email protected] about actually riding with you or anyone else.


First off, congrats Rich!!! Excellent write-up.

I can't help to think that Weir is part of the mystic and lore of the whole journey... It really puts the situation into perspective when you have that contrasting entity, not to mention an added level of psychological 'hell' to deal with.

Ego? Seems like it wouldn't quite be 'hellride' if Weir were there shooting the **** with you the whole ride. Just my take.

Anyway, it all sounds like a great experience even with Weir disappearing in the first few miles. Have fun with the new bike!

bb


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## tinger11 (Jun 23, 2006)

Well done! Great write-up! :thumbsup:


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## GoGoGordo (Jul 16, 2006)

Sounds like Weir is there due to contract obligations and couldn't give a flying [email protected] about actually riding with you or anyone else.[/QUOTE]

Thats our boy!! Representin solo as usual :skep: 
This is all about SC and Mark - right?
Try an convince me otherwise.
G


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## jgsatl (Sep 16, 2006)

so....will the doctors be installing a bionic taint? one that makes the shnj shnj shnj shnj noise when you ride?


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## NoBalance (Feb 23, 2007)

What, no Weir and no girl in sight? And a heavy-ass bike?

I think Santa Cruz owes you one of their LIGHTER bikes, brand new too.


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## Jisch (Jan 12, 2004)

Nice write up, thoroughly enjoyed it, as usual.


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## merlin (Jan 20, 2004)

Nice write up! I was in Downieville on Saturday and heard that the hell ride was taking place. I ran into the ladies but not you guys. I can't believe the route they had you do, and no grannie gear, your a stud!


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## Tappoix (Mar 18, 2004)

great write-up

isn't this like the second or third year in a row that the rider has gotten lost out there? what, are signs or tape flags too easy for this?

congrats


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## feetsnofail (Sep 25, 2006)

awesome write-up! way to go - especially enjoyed the Butthole Surfer ref ... great lyric for a great ride!

Kudos - the bike gods will be smiling upon you =)


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## pinkdirt (Jun 28, 2005)

teamdicky said:


> . Being a person of low standards I found that they were still quite tasty after being covered with sweat and dirt, so I pulled over and collected my scattered morsels and had a nice picnic under the hot sun.


Congratulations! Awesome write up and great show of perserverance.
The above line about those dusty m&m's was totally hilarious and it felt like I was right there with you...well maybe with some binoculars and a helicopter, but RIGHT THERE!


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## lidarman (Jan 12, 2004)

Tappoix said:


> great write-up
> 
> isn't this like the second or third year in a row that the rider has gotten lost out there? what, are signs or tape flags too easy for this?
> 
> congrats


Or why can't one of the many people on the ride, hang out and ride with the contestant?


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## motoenth (Mar 31, 2006)

woot woot woot!!


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

Let's see...

Mark did what he did. It's not always what he's done in the past, but I wasn't told that I should expect him to wait. I realized I needed to ride a sane pace and come home with a bike. At the gathering afterwards we all agreed that 99% of the MTB population that can actually hang with Weir already get a paycheck from riding a bike. The dude is freaking strong.

If he had just rode with me and shot the sh!t it would not have been Hell. The feeling of not knowing what to expect around every corner was a huge part of the experience.

Sarah's story will at least show up on the SCB site. Josh from SCB stayed back with her. Danno was supposed to be with me, but he wasn't feeling very good and had to bail. Not really his fault. Sarah did complete the whole course, and she had them remove the granny and just rode with a 34 T ring. 

It would be kinda hard to mark the course. There's already a mess of ribons and stuff in the trees.

There was definitely a social aspect to the whole event. There was plenty of hanging out before/after the ride, and the moto guys did an awesome job keeping me on course and being encouraging.

This event seems to be about so much. It's a big party for everybody involved with a long day in the saddle in the middle of it. Even the moto guys had it tough. That course was way scary on the big machines, and they were out there at it all day.


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## Loki (Oct 15, 2004)

*Man, theres some mark weir hate going on.*

There are always two sides to a coin. I heard that Rich talked major smack (he admits he likes to do that before a race, but not everyone is aware of that). Annoyed the heck out of Mark (and others), and got dropped big time. But I heard that from the Santa Cruz groupies. So I'm taking it with a lot of salt.

Also heard that the girl was very nice and enjoyable to be around when her face wasn't being swallowed by her boyfriend.

ALL OF THIS IS SECONDHAND CRAP. but i feel so compeled to share with everyone on the internets.

But I do want to know. How far did you come in behind Mark? How long where you out on the bike? How did the girl do time wise?

Oh, and congragulations on finishing and winning a new bike.


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## mtbnewguy (Nov 29, 2004)

beaverbiker said:


> It's called the HellRide, not the sit around and wait for the guy in the back Ride.


sure, but hell supposedly has devils there to torment you even further  have the pros ride with the contestants to enhance the experience...


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## b1umb0y (Feb 28, 2005)

This is a neat summary of the ride. It is sickening to see an average overall HR of 127 bpm. 

bb


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## Ryan G. (Aug 13, 2004)

Great writeup!


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## Nat (Dec 30, 2003)

Excellent work (the riding and the writing).


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

Loki said:


> There are always two sides to a coin. I heard that Rich talked major smack (he admits he likes to do that before a race, but not everyone is aware of that). Annoyed the heck out of Mark (and others), and got dropped big time. But I heard that from the Santa Cruz groupies. So I'm taking it with a lot of salt.
> 
> Also heard that the girl was very nice and enjoyable to be around when her face wasn't being swallowed by her boyfriend.
> 
> ...


Well actually if you look at all the threads about Hell Ride you'll see I did the opposite of talking smack. While I do talk smack with my friends here on MTBR I knew Mark was going to hand my ass to me. Whenever someone mentioned a Weir VS Dicky smackdown I was sure to do my best to let everybody know that I knew where I stood. Mark is an incredible rider who makes a living going fast. Sure, in my dreams I woulda killed him, but I also have sex with super models in my dreams.
Sorry, didn't know I annoyed anybody. Especially Mark since we didn't talk much at all over the weekend. Huh. i did ask him some questions about his Stroker brakes. Maybe he doesn't like to talk about brakes in his free time?
I did get dropped big time. I realized that I needed to finish the ride to win the bike. I also realized that I have a 7 day stage race starting this Sunday that I have a couple thousand dollars invested in. Seems silly to blow myself up TRYING to hang on when I knew there was no point. The only people that "dropped" me were Weir and his WTB teammate. There were amazingly strong. Climbed like burnt monkeys they did.
I finished somewhere between 2-3 hours behind Mark. No one was keeping track, and I didn't have a watch, nor did I know what time the ride started. Don't forget that I did do almost an extra 1,000 feet of climbing and had to wait for a moto once and awhile to tell me where to go. I'm not saying I woulda crushed him, but I did waste quite a bit of time farting around. Sorry.
Sarah finished with a decent amount of daylight left after my third beer and a shower. I measure time in beverages and hygiene. That's all I know.


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## presslab (Jan 5, 2007)

Great report, but I must say it sounds a little boring. No crashes? No killer cramps? No seeing the white light? No blood filled socks? The motorcycle near impact was cool though.

I guess I'd like to see some average Joe just totally wiped with cuts and blood on him just barely making it to the finish before passing out.

Maybe if Weir throttled back a bit, just enough to dangle the carrot, so you would push yourself harder than you should, then it could get interesting.


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## Loki (Oct 15, 2004)

teamdicky said:


> Well actually if you look at all the threads about Hell Ride you'll see I did the opposite of talking smack. While I do talk smack with my friends here on MTBR I knew Mark was going to hand my ass to me. Whenever someone mentioned a Weir VS Dicky smackdown I was sure to do my best to let everybody know that I knew where I stood.


I am fully aware of that. I know you didn't talk smack at all before this thing. And I believe everyone that was saying that you would kill Mark, etc., where doing it out of jest, and hope, because we all like Team Dicky.

Sorry if my post rubbed you in the wrong way. I appoligize. I don't like to be mean, at all. Lifes way to short for that, plus mean people just aren't very nice.

I'm glad you had a good time winning a very expensive bike. Good luck in BC, and as always, I'm looking forward to your race reports.

Nate


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## mtbnewguy (Nov 29, 2004)

teamdicky said:


> Let's see...
> 
> Mark did what he did. It's not always what he's done in the past, but I wasn't told that I should expect him to wait. I realized I needed to ride a sane pace and come home with a bike. At the gathering afterwards we all agreed that 99% of the MTB population that can actually hang with Weir already get a paycheck from riding a bike. The dude is freaking strong.
> 
> This event seems to be about so much. It's a big party for everybody involved with a long day in the saddle in the middle of it. Even the moto guys had it tough. That course was way scary on the big machines, and they were out there at it all day.


You speak like a true gentleman. Congratulations and good luck on your next event :thumbsup:

I'm not a gentleman so I'll say this: next year, SCB can just bring a cardboard cut-out of whatever pro they want and just dangle it around so the participants can get their pictures taken with it.


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## SinglePivot (Dec 30, 2003)

Maybe it's me, but this ain't no average joe ride...

-Sp



presslab said:


> Great report, but I must say it sounds a little boring. No crashes? No killer cramps? No seeing the white light? No blood filled socks? The motorcycle near impact was cool though.
> 
> I guess I'd like to see some average Joe just totally wiped with cuts and blood on him just barely making it to the finish before passing out.
> 
> Maybe if Weir throttled back a bit, just enough to dangle the carrot, so you would push yourself harder than you should, then it could get interesting.


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

presslab said:


> Great report, but I must say it sounds a little boring. No crashes? No killer cramps? No seeing the white light? No blood filled socks? The motorcycle near impact was cool though.
> 
> I guess I'd like to see some average Joe just totally wiped with cuts and blood on him just barely making it to the finish before passing out.
> 
> Maybe if Weir throttled back a bit, just enough to dangle the carrot, so you would push yourself harder than you should, then it could get interesting.


A bit of the details were abbreviated. When I wrote it up. I was a wee bit tired. I did leave the bike a few times on the DH's doing making some stupid mistakes. In the back of my head all i could here were the wise words my BC Bike Race partner gave me before I left, "don't you f-ing get hurt, OK?"
My feet don't bleed anymore. The beauty of wool.
Cramps. Mustard is the answer, cramps will never get me again. I downed three packets of Gulden's during the ride.
He could dangle his carrot if he wanted, but when I know somebody's really as good as he is I lose my appetite for carrots.


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## KRob (Jan 13, 2004)

First of all.... awesome write-up. Great ride. 

I think the idea behind the hellride was always to see if a "normal" guy could "keep up" with Mark Weir. Not possible for 99.9% of us, so Santa Cruz is obviously willing to give the bike away to the winner if they at least complete the course within some reasonable time frame while chasing Mark Weir.

Couple questions (and this no way reflects on you Team Dicky): Why do they always pick a 24 hour solo/endurance type xc uber rider for this thing? Is the course so difficult that they are the only ones that could complete it? Seems to me if they were giving away an endurance race type bike that would make sense. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Team Dicky would be more likely to sell it and buy him a new titanium ht/short travel race rig.

Why not let some average man/hardcore trail rider type have a go at it? It would be more applicable to the Nomad and they'd probably have to give a lot fewer bikes away.:thumbsup: 

Also, is the 36 tooth single chainring a mandatory part of the contest? They actually removed what was on there and put on the single 36 tooth ring? Why not just leave a triple or least a double on there like most every other rider who plans on using the Nomad for its intended purpose would do? 

Anyway, great job completing the course Team Dicky. Just a question on your fueling tactics. Is that your normal routine for fueling for an endrance or 24 solo event? Dang. That seems very.... um.... non-scientific.


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

When I really think about how far back I was from Weir I am kinda happy. Considering how many times I stopped and waited for directions, looked at a map I couldn't decipher (the course went off the map), the detour I took, stopping constantly to fiddle with the fork, riding the fork locked out for the 1/4 of the ride or more, adjusting the brakes, raising and lowering my saddle manually (and then correcting it every time I mis-adjusted it) (yes, those gravity droppers everybody else had seem pretty ingenious looking back), moving the saddle back on the rails, not knowing how long any of the climbs would last, talking to the moto guys, talking to a few folks from MTBR that knew what I was out there doing.... that's probably enough right there. No way I woulda stayed with Weir in a million years, but I did spend a fair dinkum of my time messing with sh!t and standing around. When I was up on the exposed ridge I thought I was going to run out of daylight crawling around up there like a baby.

No harm, no foul Loki.


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## wg (Dec 20, 2003)

teamdicky said:


> ...Cramps. Mustard is the answer, cramps will never get me again. I downed three packets of Gulden's during the ride.....


Great write up and congrats on the new ride. So inquiring minds wanna know, what's so special about mustard?


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## b1umb0y (Feb 28, 2005)

Man... this ride sure looks like fun! (Well, as fun as hell can be.)

bb


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## presslab (Jan 5, 2007)

I can see it now: "Pardon me, Weir, would you have any Grey Poupon?"


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

KRob said:


> First of all.... awesome write-up. Great ride.
> 
> I think the idea behind the hellride was always to see if a "normal" guy could "keep up" with Mark Weir. Not possible for 99.9% of us, so Santa Cruz is obviously willing to give the bike away to the winner if they at least complete the course within some reasonable time frame while chasing Mark Weir.
> 
> ...


I think they pick someone that they feel will provide a happy ending to the story. It would be an awfully hard ride for someone who doesn't know how to keep their body moving for long periods of time. I might not have went as fast as I would've at an event like ORAMM, but that's not saying I didn't experience a fair amount of pain and mental abuse. They also want the riders off the course before it gets dark.

The 36 T ring was mandatory for the men. It's what Weir does, so when in Rome...

I got really scientific in my later years of 24 hr racing. I was actually depriving myself a little so I would be even more excited about reaching town and the vast supply of junk food. Not exactly smart, but those Nutter Butter's were ambrosia to me.


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

wg said:


> Great write up and congrats on the new ride. So inquiring minds wanna know, what's so special about mustard?


Google cramps and mustard and see.


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## MtotheF (Aug 3, 2005)

*the corporate pawn viewpoint*



KRob said:


> Couple questions (and this no way reflects on you Team Dicky): Why do they always pick a 24 hour solo/endurance type xc uber rider for this thing? Is the course so difficult that they are the only ones that could complete it? Seems to me if they were giving away an endurance race type bike that would make sense. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Team Dicky would be more likely to sell it and buy him a new titanium ht/short travel race rig.
> 
> Why not let some average man/hardcore trail rider type have a go at it? It would be more applicable to the Nomad and they'd probably have to give a lot fewer bikes away.:thumbsup:
> 
> Also, is the 36 tooth single chainring a mandatory part of the contest? They actually removed what was on there and put on the single 36 tooth ring? Why not just leave a triple or least a double on there like most every other rider who plans on using the Nomad for its intended purpose would do?


the hellride is a constantly evolving thing for us. it began as a way to prove that you could ride a vp-free uphill. and then it morphed into the "chase weir around on a nomad" thing it is now. as a marketing exercise, we've come to realize it needs a little modification.

however, the endurance racer angle: there have been 7 total selected riders for the hellride. only two fo them, eddie and rich, could be said to be dedicated endurance racers. we got some flak this year for picking two single speed riders, as well. however, when it comes to choosing people to do this, we tend to search for people we think will not only survive the ride, but survive it with some degree of satisfaction, and survive it without an extensive search and rescue effort after dark. as such, people with some experience going long distance in rough terrain are good to have. and endurance racers know how to do that.

but the average joe thing has merit. to do that, we have to develop some sort of handicap system to make things interesting. ultimately, we want to give the bikes away, but we don't want anyone ti actually die in the process of chasing that new bike. we want people to come to a very unique place, take part in a ride that is damn hard and mighty epic, meet some new people, and hopefully go home with a new bike that they will continue to ride (although i suspect some of the time the bike only serves to remind the new owner of the incredible discomfort recently undergone).

as for the single ring? well, it wouldn't be quite so hellish with a three ring circus, now, would it?


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## 29Colossus (Jun 4, 2006)

teamdicky said:


> When I really think about how far back I was from Weir I am kinda happy. Considering how many times I stopped and waited for directions, looked at a map I couldn't decipher (the course went off the map), the detour I took, stopping constantly to fiddle with the fork, riding the fork locked out for the 1/4 of the ride or more, adjusting the brakes, raising and lowering my saddle manually (and then correcting it every time I mis-adjusted it) (yes, those gravity droppers everybody else had seem pretty ingenious looking back), moving the saddle back on the rails, not knowing how long any of the climbs would last, talking to the moto guys, talking to a few folks from MTBR that knew what I was out there doing.... that's probably enough right there. No way I woulda stayed with Weir in a million years, but I did spend a fair dinkum of my time messing with sh!t and standing around. When I was up on the exposed ridge I thought I was going to run out of daylight crawling around up there like a baby.
> 
> No harm, no foul Loki.


I always thought it would be different I guess...

I figured the ride would start with:

_WAKE UP you MAGGOT! No sleep for the dying! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! You get to that bike maggot and you start spinning you heaping pile of pig slop! SPIN! SPIN! SPIN! What do you think this is, a Jello making lesson. It sure LOOKS like a Jello making session! You weak and pathetic bag of bones. YOU SUCK! You will NEVER complete HALF of this ride! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!_

Towards 5,000 feet of climbing after being dogged the entire way by what seems like the spawned demonseed team of Satan behind you, I figured it would continue sort of like this:

_YOU ARE PATHETIC! Where is Dave? Dave is gone you sad and tired whelp? This is just sad... I am sending someone ahead to tell them is is ALL OVER. Nomad? I don't think so. Might as well give the bike to my dead grandmother! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! Who the hell do you think you are coming here? You don't DESERVE to be here. People just wasting their time on you. YOU ARE NOTHING! LOSER! YOU ARE A LOSER! You can't handle this adversity? This is NOTHING! You are NOTHING! Your pace is SLOW! MAGGOT!_

Towards the end I figured there would be some new round of madness:

_Why do you EVEN ride? SLOW! I can't even pedal this slow! Dave is home! He has been home for 6 hours. You are a FAILURE! Why pedal? I'll just call the minivan to come pick you up. Sad. What a crappy Hell ride this year. Just failure. The biggest hills are yet to come and you are done right now. FINISHED! Look at you... you are GREEN. MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! Pick up the pace. I am sick and tired of this crap. So slow and weak! Someone call the guys to pick this noob up. Just stop pedaling and hand the Nomad over. You don't need it anymore!_

Hehe... I just thought.... you know... Hell and all...


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## Crash_Burn (Oct 8, 2004)

*Make Weir Work Harder*



MtotheF said:


> but the average joe thing has merit. to do that, we have to develop some sort of handicap system to make things interesting. ultimately, we want to give the bikes away, but we don't want anyone ti actually die in the process of chasing that new bike. we want people to come to a very unique place, take part in a ride that is damn hard and mighty epic, meet some new people, and hopefully go home with a new bike that they will continue to ride (although i suspect some of the time the bike only serves to remind the new owner of the incredible discomfort recently undergone).QUOTE]
> 
> Make Mark climb to the top then come back down pick up his rider/riders and spend some time with them. Turning the Hell Ride into a WTB training ride seems a bit off target.
> 
> ...


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## CHUM (Aug 30, 2004)

Crash_Burn said:


> ...P.S. I've entered all four years hoping to get "in", please tell us average Joe's we don't have a chance and maybe we shouldn't be entering "the contest" in the first place. Seems like a waste of time for me and you...


i'm an average joe...and i got in the final 15......just send in a completely ridiculous pic of yourself and take a few minutes to compose what you write.......and just so ya know...i sent a pic of myself singlespeeding nekkid...why they didn't just yell at me to go away i'll never know.....

edit: i belive it also helps if they know that an entrant can actually have a slim chance at completing the ride.....if you've only done a 25 mile 5K day ya ain't gonna finish somethin' like this


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## lidarman (Jan 12, 2004)

CHUM said:


> edit: i belive it also helps if they know that an entrant can actually have a slim chance at completing the ride.....if you've only done a 25 mile 5K day ya ain't gonna finish somethin' like this


S.C. definitely wants you to finish. I mean part of the point is that you can do all that climbing on a big bike...it makes the bike look bad and S.C. look bad if the person doesn't finish the ride.


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## Crash_Burn (Oct 8, 2004)

I did read the fine print that they look for the right person and I'm definitely crying over spilled milk here, I just want a free Nomad damit!

Good to hear you made top 15

FWIW - The first year I actually called S.C. about tagging along, to my surprise they said yes.


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## scorpionwoman (Jul 7, 2006)

You, my boy, are an awesome athlete. Congrats on your physical prowess and mental toughness.


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## Ryan G. (Aug 13, 2004)

Average joe my ASS!!!

Everyone who has attempted a 24 solo, no problem on 50 mile 11K coe days please raise their hand!

Sorry Chumy think you are above average Joe....


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## CHUM (Aug 30, 2004)

baycat said:


> Average joe my ASS!!!...


thanks  ...but compared to *teamdicky* i am verrrry average......Rich did a RAWKIN' job finishing the route in around 10.5 hours.....at altitude....on a full boinger (that prolly weighs 10 more lbs than his regular rig)...that wasn't spec'd specifically for him....all on the harsh trails of D-Ville.....it says alot about his pain tolerance (he's a freak)....and that a Nomad truly is a "do-it-all" rig...:thumbsup:


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## 545cu4ch (Aug 11, 2005)

29Colossus said:


> I always thought it would be different I guess...
> 
> I figured the ride would start with:
> 
> ...


Nah, thats not enough suffering. I imagined that every Hell Ride rider had its own Biker Fox escort :yesnod:









Now THAT is worse than a flesh reaking, fire breathing, infernal spawn of satan....


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## MattP. (Oct 3, 2005)

Excellent write up! Did you walk away with a bike?


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## Shwaa (Jan 13, 2004)

Ok wait, you say you didnt see Weir after the first 20 minutes or so. Is that including after the ride was over as well??? 

That would be kind of strange. What happened POST-ride?


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## Evel Knievel (Mar 28, 2004)

Need your thoughts on how the Nomad rode. Also what kind of time could you pull on you own 29 SS rig? 

 What comes of the prize bike? Keeping it for , ..?


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## brado1 (Oct 5, 2004)

scorpionwoman said:


> You, my boy, are an awesome athlete. Congrats on your physical prowess and mental toughness.


and quite the fashion statement too 










congrats Rich, hey did you get Wier's camera? to leave him some of your ass shots! That'd be sweet :thumbsup:


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## cherrybomber (Mar 25, 2004)

MtotheF said:


> the hellride is a constantly evolving thing for us. it began as a way to prove that you could ride a vp-free uphill. and then it morphed into the "chase weir around on a nomad" thing it is now. as a marketing exercise, we've come to realize it needs a little modification.
> 
> however, the endurance racer angle: there have been 7 total selected riders for the hellride. only two fo them, eddie and rich, could be said to be dedicated endurance racers. we got some flak this year for picking two single speed riders, as well. however, when it comes to choosing people to do this, we tend to search for people we think will not only survive the ride, but survive it with some degree of satisfaction, and survive it without an extensive search and rescue effort after dark. as such, people with some experience going long distance in rough terrain are good to have. and endurance racers know how to do that.
> 
> ...


hey MtotheF!

I think you what you guys are doing is great.

cant please everyone ey?

but hey.. it works, we're all dreaming about owning a nomad..


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## cherrybomber (Mar 25, 2004)

Hey TeamDicky!

you rock big time (just stating the obvious). :thumbsup: 


still waiting for you go to fixie on your next big multi-stage race 

keep your write-ups coming!


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## bones (Dec 19, 2003)

Weir-d thread.

congrats on the hell-ride and a great write-up!

Just to clarify, or at least add an opinion. Having ridden with Mark a number of times err...started and then met in town  and partied in vegas with him.
He's not at all how he's being assumed to be in this thread. He's a good guy, friendly, not the celeb-type. Still the only guy I've seen drink a Modelo doing a wheelie all the way to the Yuba River swimming hole.

the Santa Cruz Hell-Ride is just that. Mark's hired to make it hard. He does that well, which is why he's hired to do it.

congrats again Team-Dicky, and you were a stud doing the trans rockies on your SS, this little contest is merely a drop.

b.


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## Stumpy_Steve (Aug 18, 2006)

I'm still waiting for the day I can meet Weir... Hell, he's even my icon!


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

MattP. said:


> Excellent write up! Did you walk away with a bike?


Nope, they're shipping it out as it would've been complicated sending it home on the plane.


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

Shwaa said:


> Ok wait, you say you didnt see Weir after the first 20 minutes or so. Is that including after the ride was over as well???
> 
> That would be kind of strange. What happened POST-ride?


No, 20 minutes during the ride, but there were beers well into the night. There were tons of interesting people hanging at the shop (till they shut it down).


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

Evel Knievel said:


> Need your thoughts on how the Nomad rode. Also what kind of time could you pull on you own 29 SS rig?
> 
> What comes of the prize bike? Keeping it for , ..?


Once it was dialed in a little better it rode well for a suspension bike. I realize that with the manuals i my hands and a little time I could have it riding much better (and some time to adjust to it).

I think I woulda been slightly faster on my SS, but mostly because I wouldn't have stopped so often to mess with it, and I am already used to the way it handles. Not to mention the climbs woulda been faster. BUT I'm pretty sure my hands and arms woulda got pretty beat up from the DH's.

Keeping the bike? For awhile. Got some things I wanna jump off of.


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

brado1 said:


> and quite the fashion statement too
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The only camera belonged to the pro dude. He didn't seem like the kinda guy to leave his camera sitting around for drunk people to play with.


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

bones said:


> Weir-d thread.
> 
> congrats on the hell-ride and a great write-up!
> 
> ...


He seemed like a pretty neat guy. I'm always envious of guys who can ride as a pro, but ride what they want without a bunch of boundaries. Too many riders are focused on just one type of riding nowadays. A few of us were talking about the good old days of weekend festivals with multiple events where riders had to use the same bike. He's got skills, and he gets paid to use them. 
Isn't that what we all want?


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## Eddie O (Aug 20, 2004)

.... at least I hung with Mark & Dan O until the final descent.....you big wuss.

Eddie O


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

Eddie O said:


> .... at least I hung with Mark & Dan O until the final descent.....you big wuss.
> 
> Eddie O


Yeah, but they w..a...i..t...e...d......u....p.......f..o..r.....y..o...u.
or so I was told. This year Mark just wasn't up for waiting on anybody and decided to just lay it down from the gun.


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## MtnBikerDan (Aug 9, 2005)

beaverbiker said:


> It's called the HellRide, not the sit around and wait for the guy in the back Ride.


Word!!!

It really puts the perspective to the benchmark - I'm always off the back and puking on my shoes.... but then as time goes by...... I'm still off the back and pukin' on my shoes. But I had a heart attack in 2004 at 38, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Some people are just machines...... Weir being one of them. This Beaverbiker character too... I've seen both pinning it.... scary fast.....

Nice write up - good to hear you had some quality sufferin', which is what the hellride is all about.

Greg for mayor of D'ville


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

Eddie O said:


> .... at least I hung with Mark & Dan O until the final descent.....you big wuss.
> 
> Eddie O


Oh yeah,
from eddieodea.com

"Nice first impression huh? I get dropped on the first climb and barely a mile in. "

"I led out as we left the tiny town, but as soon as the road turned up I took my more familiar place at the back&#8230;way back."

"Eventually I came across an arrow and an "H" made of sticks, which I assumed were for me. This would be my last sign of Mark, DanO and Rachel until I made it back to Downieville."

Sounds like you got an easy route. Gravel road to the top of the first climb?? Jeesh. Did they think they invited two women? (that sounded sexist, oops)


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## CHUM (Aug 30, 2004)

ummmm....stoopid question......what colour is your new nomad?

edit: popped a period (".") inbetween "stoopid" & "question"......i gotta learn how to type.....ugh


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

CHUM said:


> ummmm....stoopid.question......what colour is your new nomad?


anno black. Very nice. It what i woulda chose if I had a choice.


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## Dwight Moody (Jan 10, 2004)

teamdicky said:


> Got some things I wanna jump off of.


Now there's a motto for living.


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## TXneedmountain (Feb 14, 2007)

excellent write up sounds very awesome. I have no clue what it would be like to ride that many miles with that much elevation change. So basically you are a hauss!( go here if unsure of what a hauss is and use definition #1 http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hauss


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## MarkMass (Sep 10, 2006)

Great write-up, Rich!

I've read some of your blog and got a taste of the smack-talk on the boards and, dude, you're a hilarious writer! If you dial-back on the competitive riding, you could probably transition into writing full-time real easy. Weir might seemingly be freakishly inhuman on a bike, but I'd rather be a super-human rider whose also a kick-ass writer! :thumbsup: 

Keep it up!


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## LyNx (Oct 26, 2004)

Hey TD, you didn't happen to ask if they had anything 29er up their sleeves did you? Maybe hold off sending you the Nomad for anything 29er they're working on? Might see you next year @ TR.


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

LyNx said:


> Hey TD, you didn't happen to ask if they had anything 29er up their sleeves did you? Maybe hold off sending you the Nomad for anything 29er they're working on? Might see you next year @ TR.


Whenever I mentioned 29'ers (offhand) there seemed to be little reaction. I didn't really want to bother them as I doubt they have a rigid steel or ti 29'er coming down the pike. 
TR next year? Maybe. I don't know what to do next year. Wouldn't mind chasing the 5 yr TR belt buckle...


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## extrmtao (Mar 27, 2006)

Mr Team Dicky,

Horrible horrible job keeping up and that write-up. . . Just awfull, next time please put some Passion into it if you are going to post it up here. I mean you guys didn't even ride anything with "white" or "rim" in it.

When you get the Nomad, please hook some panniers up to it and go try and complete a man's race.

Crap, now I have stooped just as low as you and I sound sexist too, see what you have done?

Peace


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## Snake Muesl (Apr 17, 2005)

Great, I just spent more time than intended reading this entire thread. Captivating it is. 
I can't believe I wasted my time "applying" for the honor last year. What was I thinking?
I need to crawl back into my hole and flog myself.


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## okie_calvin (Jan 31, 2004)

teamdicky said:


> Yeah, but they w..a...i..t...e...d......u....p.......f..o..r.....y..o...u.
> or so I was told. This year Mark just wasn't up for waiting on anybody and decided to just lay it down from the gun.


 Do you think that by chance Mr. Weir read some of the posts 'round these parts that said you were gonna paint his A$$? Sounds like the ol' newspaper motivation they talk about in football to me.


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## Evel Knievel (Mar 28, 2004)

teamdicky said:


> Once it was dialed in a little better it rode well for a suspension bike. I realize that with the manuals i my hands and a little time I could have it riding much better (and some time to adjust to it).
> 
> I think I woulda been slightly faster on my SS, but mostly because I wouldn't have stopped so often to mess with it, and I am already used to the way it handles. Not to mention the climbs woulda been faster. BUT I'm pretty sure my hands and arms woulda got pretty beat up from the DH's.
> 
> Keeping the bike? For awhile. Got some things I wanna jump off of.


 Awesome ! Have fun landing soft.

Thanks for the write up.


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## Ebo (Dec 30, 2003)

I talked with him for a while 4 years ago at the Mtbr gathering in Dville. Huge party at the Pizza joint. I was half ripped and had no idea who he was at the time. Very cool, down to earth guy who loved to ride. Although it would seem better if he hung with the Hell Ride winner, I don't know the details or history so choose not to comment. I do know that hanging out with the Yuba crew at the end of the day (or during) is always a super time. Another vote for Greg W. for Mayor of Downieville. Awesome job Team Dickey.....


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## aword4you (Jul 25, 2005)

Loki said:


> Also heard that the girl was very nice and enjoyable to be around when her face wasn't being swallowed by her boyfriend.


ahahahaha!!!

Sorry, did I just do that outloud? :skep:


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## Francis Cebedo (Aug 1, 1996)

Hellsya.

Good job teamdicky!

fc


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## MtotheF (Aug 3, 2005)

*better late than never, right?*

so, we got home, dusted off, went back to freaking out about all the usual work stuff, and only just now got all the rider reports in and the photos up on the SCB site. might be a pic or two worth looking at in here.

http://www.santacruzbicycles.com/hr4/hr2007.php

finally, huge thanks to rich and sarah for being troopers, to weir and rachel for being the pain rendering freaks that they are, to the crew at Yuba Expeditions, and to the Sierra Buttes Trail Stewardship. and thanks to everyone who entered, we hope you step up to the plate again next year!


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## seenvic (Sep 9, 2003)

*you've come a long way*

Brother, you have come a long way from that cat I met some years ago at the Long Cane Massacre Ride. If I recall, your car broke down some 20ish miles out of town, and your crew rode into town in the dark.

Good write up.


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## lidarman (Jan 12, 2004)

MtotheF said:


> finally, huge thanks to rich and sarah for being troopers, to weir and rachel for being the pain rendering freaks that they are, to the crew at Yuba Expeditions, and to the Sierra Buttes Trail Stewardship. and thanks to everyone who entered, we hope you step up to the plate again next year!


Looks like the ride was about Rachel....She is loving the camera.


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

seenvic said:


> Brother, you have come a long way from that cat I met some years ago at the Long Cane Massacre Ride. If I recall, your car broke down some 20ish miles out of town, and your crew rode into town in the dark.
> 
> Good write up.


Good memory, but just close. We actually rode 50 miles on FS bikes with loaded packs starting at 11:00pm. Our lights died on the way in, and we slept in the dirt (barely) the night before the first day of the Massacre. That event pretty much pushed Eric W and I into the deep end of the pool for sure.

Long Cane Part Deux around the corner??? I have a much more reliable car now...


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## LyNx (Oct 26, 2004)

Hey TD, just got a ? for ya..............What do you think about the fact that you're basically being called a "sand bagger" by Weir and SC?


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## teamdicky (Jan 12, 2004)

LyNx said:


> Hey TD, just got a ? for ya..............What do you think about the fact that you're basically being called a "sand bagger" by Weir and SC?


They were cool with it. I told them that the timing of the ride was really bad for me. I had been planning the BC Bike Race since November or so of last year. I had over $2000 invested in the race, and a partner depending on me so I wasn't gonna throw it all away chasing someone I knew I couldn't hang with at the end of the day. I thought Weir was very tactful in his report, and I think he somewhat respected my dilemma. Had I not gotten lost I guess I coulda saved half an hour or more, plus all the time I spent fiddling with my bike, tuning the suspension, fiddling with my seatpost height and the brakes, and waiting on someone to point me in the right direction. Maybe, and it's a big maybe I might have been closer to half hour to one hour back if I gave it everything I had and dialed the bike in before the start....
BUT coulda, shoulda, woulda, whatever?? I think everybody involved had a good time in their own way in the end.


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## Crash_Burn (Oct 8, 2004)

*Down and Upville*



teamdicky said:


> I thought Weir was very tactful in his report, and I think he somewhat respected my dilemma. Had I not gotten lost I guess I coulda saved half an hour or more, plus all the time I spent fiddling with my bike, tuning the suspension, fiddling with my seatpost height and the brakes, and waiting on someone to point me in the right direction.


It's so ironic that your talents as a rider may have pushed a wedge between the lead outs and you.

I wonder if SC is throwing down the gauntlet on Weir saying "were going to bring some riders to the fray and you reputation is on the line" pure speculation mind you.

The deal is Weir may have been the best person to help you set up the Nomad suspension, yet he felt the need to blast out of the gate.

In TDF fashion he should have waited for his rider until equal footing was gained then it's all out war baby.

I've ridden a couple of VPP bikes and they are not the easiest bike to set up, not necessarily hard just depending how much chain torque your comfortable with you need to get the pressure just right.

Supposedly Steve Peat is helping SC come up with a new leverage ratio that he is comfortable with on their DH sled maybe it will migrate to the Nomad that's anyone's guess.


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## seenvic (Sep 9, 2003)

teamdicky said:


> Good memory, but just close. We actually rode 50 miles on FS bikes with loaded packs starting at 11:00pm. Our lights died on the way in, and we slept in the dirt (barely) the night before the first day of the Massacre. That event pretty much pushed Eric W and I into the deep end of the pool for sure.
> 
> Long Cane Part Deux around the corner??? I have a much more reliable car now...


Sorry for the tardy reply.

We do LCMR about once or twice a year. Just some locals, but you and Eric W would be welcome. Seems no one has the energy for the "event" LCMR.

Eric and I have run into one another a time or two since then.

We have ALOT more trail now, almost all the start that was gravel back in 1999 is now singletrack. It was then too, we just didn't know that the old horse trails were so good (at times).

Perhaps I'll see you at ORAMM.


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## Christine (Feb 11, 2004)

Thank you for the thoroughly entertaining write-up that helped kill at least 30min here in my very quiet cubicle. 

True "Hell" would be not riding at all. Now I'm itching to go for a ride.......eh what else is new.


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## Hollis (Dec 19, 2003)

*Hey!*

I saw that big burly Mtn Biker Mark Weir on HGTV! :thumbsup:

Not that there is anything wrong with watching the home & garden channel :blush:


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