# Leg shaving and other areas...



## E ! (Jan 15, 2005)

I was wondering. I know some folks that bike shave their legs. However, when you live in the triple digit temps of the summer. Do you also shave or possibly trim your butt hairs?
I think i'm going to cut mine down tonight.


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## MPauB1386 (Jun 16, 2005)

if you need any help give me a call.......


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## SMOKEY (May 19, 2004)

I would imagine that would be a bad Idea. Imagine if you get a bunch of ingrown hairs that get infected in your cornhole region, ioda form packing infected skin pockets is not fun.  

If you give your cheeks a buzz cut, I hear they may grow back even thicker and longer, I guess if you are going for some bob marley dreadlocks on your cheeks go for it.


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## Redmon (Jan 12, 2004)

I like to trim the nose hairs to aid in breathing


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## Bulldozer (Jan 14, 2004)

*Stop!*

STOP! Before you do, read this. You may change your mind. [disclaimer] This is some of the funniest stuff I have ever read.[disclaimer/]

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique.
It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling.

Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with somepaper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn babe. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I
thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poop -molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky poop/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there
and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally
reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks.

As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering poop/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own poop blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks." Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks.

Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. As if that wasn't
enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad.

Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends-DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!


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## striker (Jan 12, 2004)

*too funny*

Man that is funny!

Penn and Teller did a BS about hair, including getting a Brazilian.


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## jrm (Jan 12, 2004)

*Talk about blatant troll bait..*

good one kid...


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## Jessep (Dec 1, 2004)

Holy crap that was funny, . I love the imagry he used in the story.

ok, back to work


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## sstaurus (Jan 18, 2004)

Ahahaha that was gold. Must have put alot of thought into writing that lol.


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## E ! (Jan 15, 2005)

*Thanks man*

That was the reply i was looking for. ROFL/LMAO!


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## Soupboy (Jan 13, 2004)

*The Best Post of '05*

for sure.


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## Anonymous (Mar 3, 2005)

I'm having trouble with the visualization. Could you post a couple of pics?


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## DiRt DeViL (Dec 24, 2003)

Hillarious, second the nomination for best post of the year.


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## Soloracer (Jan 26, 2004)

*Hide your sig, hide your sig*

Patrick,

Hide the signature man, TCS don't need this kind of publicity!

Good one,

Jim

notice no sponsor sig when replying to a poor taste post


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## TommyCalifornia (Jun 6, 2005)

Talking about shaving, what do you do to avoid hair going thru your lycra? Do you trim or shave your genitalia?


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## Bulldozer (Jan 14, 2004)

Soloracer said:


> Patrick,
> 
> Hide the signature man, TCS don't need this kind of publicity!
> 
> ...


Poor taste??? I was trying to save the guy from certain agony. TCS needs more people like me out there saving people from making stupid mistakes.


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## rob68 (Mar 6, 2004)

*burnin' ring of fire*

It sounds like you need some diaper rash creme!-Try it, it will help.


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## zon (Nov 4, 2004)

Classic!! What a crack up!


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## Danimal (Nov 18, 2004)

*Unreal...*

That was some of the funniest whatnot I've ever read. For me...the story climaxed at "...the two pink twins can get vacuum packed together..."

hahaha...*tear rolls down cheek*

-Danimal


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## direktor (Mar 21, 2004)

It was the use of the word "grogan", combined with an AOL/Usenet crack that gave it away.

Bulldozer, you gonna tell everybody that post is an alt.tasteless classic?


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## ranier (Sep 9, 2003)

Friggin' hilarious, I can relate...


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## cjh_mtb (Jul 1, 2005)

I was honestly thinking about doing it too


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## dansjustchillin (Apr 8, 2004)

imagine how bad your crack would itch if you shaved it.


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## Bulldozer (Jan 14, 2004)

direktor said:


> It was the use of the word "grogan", combined with an AOL/Usenet crack that gave it away.
> 
> Bulldozer, you gonna tell everybody that post is an alt.tasteless classic?


Yeah - I hope nobody is thinking that it was me that shaved my ass. I couldn't quote the source because I honestly don't know the origin. I got it off of another board.


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## F.F. MOUNTAIN BIKER (Feb 22, 2005)

*now thats funny*

that jas to be one of the funniest stories i have ever heard. i cant quit crying.


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## F.F. MOUNTAIN BIKER (Feb 22, 2005)

*now thats funny*



sstaurus said:


> Ahahaha that was gold. Must have put alot of thought into writing that lol.


 that has to be one of the funniest stories i have ever heard. i cant quit crying.


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## AL29er (Jan 14, 2004)

Holy cow, that was so damn funny!!

I think I almost projected beer out of my nose and onto the keyboard.

Brave man you are placing a razor in that region.


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## mattbikeboy (Jun 8, 2004)

As I was riding along on the road (without leg warmers or tights) I noticed how hairy my legs are. One thing led to another and I dug up this classic post to email to my ride buddies. It's getting to be that time of year and I wouldn't want anyone to get into trouble with their first shave of the season.  

mbb


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## rushtrack (Sep 7, 2006)

*Wait!*

I happen to be a butt hair shaving expert. Yes...it can be painful if you do it incorrectly, BUT! if you use the appropriate techniques it can be a golden experience. Consider the femmes....they shave alot in alot of different places....they dont complain...and many of them dont get rash or sweaty...so try this..

*use a ladies bic or venus razor.....much easier on the neither region then the mens stuff...
*dont do it dry...use...if you must shaving cream or do it in the shower with soap..
*the after care is the most important part...get an aftershave gel....like oldspice...it will sooth it and keep the cheeks happy...
*you may need to apply aftershave (gel=imperative) more than once.
* use tucks pads liberally...this will keep them tough but moist

the whole point is to get your cheeks to a point where they are tough enough to handle it...:thumbsup:

did I go to far?


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## venus1 (Aug 4, 2006)

*Can you say, "Poser"?*

It's all part of trying to look like "a competitor". Whether it is in body building or biking. That is unless you are Lance Armstrong.


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## Hardtails Are Better (May 4, 2005)

Holy post ressurection.


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## venus1 (Aug 4, 2006)

Did I mention that back hair is just plain gross? So is furry upper arm hair & massive belly hair. If you have it, contour it.


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## formica (Jul 4, 2004)

he was probably inspired to write that by the all time classic for girls, "what happened when I tried to wax myself at home" that circulates by email now and then.

~f.


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## aword4you (Jul 25, 2005)

Funny post, I think I missed that the first time around.

Formica - I just read that over on RBR yesterday. Was absolutely hilarious. 

Two different viewpoints


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## PhysicsGuy (Oct 18, 2005)

This link would be appropriate for this thread. Although it might not be the safest for work. http://www.shaveeverywhere.com

I thought I was gonna die from laughing so hard the first time I saw it.


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## Psycho Mike (Apr 2, 2006)

Oh Man! I just about fell off my chair 2x with the crack shave post and the PhysicsGuy link.


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## E ! (Jan 15, 2005)

*U yah !*



rushtrack said:


> I happen to be a butt hair shaving expert. Yes...it can be painful if you do it incorrectly, BUT! if you use the appropriate techniques it can be a golden experience. Consider the femmes....they shave alot in alot of different places....they dont complain...and many of them dont get rash or sweaty...so try this..
> 
> *use a ladies bic or venus razor.....much easier on the neither region then the mens stuff...
> *dont do it dry...use...if you must shaving cream or do it in the shower with soap..
> ...


You are reaching.
Anyway, what is a tucks pad?


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## Big Karma (Mar 9, 2005)

*No need to shave*

My butt went bald in my 30s, so I do a comb-over with hair from my back.

Chicks dig it. :thumbsup:


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## cocheese (Jan 12, 2004)

I don't care who you are. That shaiza is funny!

To add to the story, I have alopecia which means that all of my hair is falling out. I've lost all of it on my head, chest, back, and other areas. Literally the only place I still have it is in my arse crack!!!!!!!!!!! That stuff down there must be impervious to anything. I seriously look like a mannequin with but-hair. I haven't taken to shaving it and after this post I think I'll just leave it alone. It will fall out one of these days...


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## Burtonrider250 (Aug 31, 2006)

lmfao, way to funny. I can relate to that.


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## stevefo (Nov 25, 2006)

ROLF!!!!!!  I have not laughed that hard in years:shocked: That had me laughing for hours.


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## ZoSoSwiM (Dec 2, 2005)

Wow and ouch...


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## [CrazyRick_11] (May 14, 2006)

hahaha, that story is too funny!!!!! All the best with the "brillo-ass"


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## Horus (Oct 21, 2006)

As an aside, I'd like to point out that no hair grows back thicker/longer etc...

Hair is not alive. It's dead cells. It's pushed out from little factories called follicles about quarter inch under your skin. Cutting the end off of it at any length doesn't tell your skin to suddenly create new follicles between existing ones, nor does it tell it to beef up the cross-sectional thickness of the hair, nor does it instantly trigger changes in your DNA to grow it longer next time around.

When hair is original, it's usually tapered at the end. When you shave, you cut that tapered section off. This is why it seems like new hair is coming in thicker. It's the same old hair, it's just at your current thickness. The sharp edges left from the blade leave sharp cuts on each hair, which makes it feel scratchy, and since the hair is now very short and stout consisting of only the length below the skin, which is reinforced on all sides by your skin, making it seem stiffer. The more it grows out again the more flexible it becomes.

Shaving an area you've had hair on your whole life reveals skin that is not used to much physical contact. Your hair typically keeps things like clothing and tongues (or whatever) from directly contacting your skin. Shave, and suddenly your skin is inundated with stimulation. This adds to why stubble feels so uncomfortable. If you keep on shaving, your skin quickly gets used to physical contact and you don't feel so sensitive after a short while.

Every time shaving comes up, superstition and old wives tales continue to persist.


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## seabirdman (Jan 5, 2007)

Horus said:


> As an aside, I'd like to point out that no hair grows back thicker/longer etc...
> 
> Hair is not alive. It's dead cells. It's pushed out from little factories called follicles about quarter inch under your skin. Cutting the end off of it at any length doesn't tell your skin to suddenly create new follicles between existing ones, nor does it tell it to beef up the cross-sectional thickness of the hair, nor does it instantly trigger changes in your DNA to grow it longer next time around.
> 
> ...


I "think" I got much of this excellent dissertation - but could you circle back to the tongue part and expand on that?


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## ZoSoSwiM (Dec 2, 2005)

Horus said:


> As an aside, I'd like to point out that no hair grows back thicker/longer etc...
> 
> Hair is not alive. It's dead cells. It's pushed out from little factories called follicles about quarter inch under your skin. Cutting the end off of it at any length doesn't tell your skin to suddenly create new follicles between existing ones, nor does it tell it to beef up the cross-sectional thickness of the hair, nor does it instantly trigger changes in your DNA to grow it longer next time around.
> 
> ...


 As a swimmer and a swim coach this topic comes up at the end of the season and fittingly it just came up last week as we prepared for championships. EVERYone has their own ideas on shaving and it's always interesting to hear what people have to say. From everything I've read and heard, to the conversations I've had the real reason to shave for swimmers is for the sensation. Not the decrease in resistance.

Like mentioned before when you shave you remove the barrier between your skin and everything else. This "fresh" virgin skin is highly sensitive and when a swimmer jumps into the water the first time without any hair/dead skin they feel really fast regardless of their speed. This in turn tells the brain they're fast which provides unconscious motivation and helps you go faster. The decrease in resistance because of no hair is so low I doubt it accounts for more than .002 seconds in most races.

anyhow..

I always laugh when people say.. you shave your whole body! You're going to be a hairy beast now!!!! Seriously... what era are we living in? Blunt hair looks thicker common sense. Want to feel an interesting feeling? Try shaving you pits and see how it go
es.. you'll get a whole new respect for the ladies!


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## jarrod7219 (Jul 23, 2006)

looks like I might be the first here to have actually purchased, and used the BodyGroom. Works well for me, and I would recommend it.


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## skiahh (Dec 26, 2003)

Jessep said:


> *Holy crap* that was funny,


Pun intended??


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## E ! (Jan 15, 2005)

*The bodygroom?*

What is this device you speak of? Will it work for manscaping?
LOL, a year and a half later and the thread is still alive.


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## bigpedaler (Jan 29, 2007)

ok, an old relic, and the revival is all over the place!

uh, yeah -- i shave some areas, trim some others. legs, arms, occasionally chest/belly...they get the razor. i'm reminded of a time when i was a kid, trying on my first pair of REAL jeans; they seemed to just stroke my legs. now, shaved legs get that w/ anything i wear! arms are more because of the little ones than anything else -- they like to climb all over me and wrestle; i HATE getting hair pulled!! the torso treatment started when chest hair started to catch in the t-shirts.
i've since discovered that during the hotter times of the year, it's a LOT more comfortable to be w/o the extra fur. gone so far now that my balding pate is kept to about 3-5 day whisker length. thought about shaving it, too, but there's just too many gayboys out there w/ domes cleared. (guilt by association, y'know!)


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## mb-matt (Aug 8, 2006)

Oh my sweet lord is that funny. You may have saved a live with that story. It brought serious tears to my eyes.


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## Sisco_28601 (Mar 16, 2007)

*New technologies*

I wonder if the author of that story thought of Laser hair removal... :thumbsup:

That would really suck for the guy at the clinic! :madman:


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## AzTracer (Feb 15, 2007)

Ok so you guys shave your legs during the summer to keep cool?


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## rather*be*riding (Apr 4, 2007)

Wow...I'm just glad I don't have this "problem" Like I don't already have enough body hair to remove That story was pretty sick. I will never forget the curly ass hair of the guy I lost my virginity too...I almost jumped off the bed and ran far far away. I was shocked to see guys grew hair there EW! :nono:


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## KeepTheRubberSideDown (Dec 1, 2006)

That is hillarious. Thanks for the advice.


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