# Dangling ball-sack...



## Crankout (Jun 16, 2010)

As we age, the sack droops and interferes with our rides; gets all gnarled up in the chamois. 

Fleeting thoughts of somehow tethering it up into a ball, or pursuing some kind of Michael Jackson-esque surgery come to mind as I'm hours into a ride. Constantly digging into my spandex to re-arrange gets tiresome.

Anyone else?


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## Cleared2land (Aug 31, 2012)

Perhaps you just need a Banana Hammock?


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## davec113 (May 31, 2006)

I've always had these issues due to my XL "reach"... You just gotta find a chammy that works for you, and allows things to settle into place out of the way.

I just got a Bn3th chammy, but only had the chance to try it out once so far, I liked it. Will put more time on it and see...









NORTH SHORE CHAMOIS : BLACK


Built-in chamois underwear featuring BN3TH MyPakage™ Pouch Technology. Support and comfort on the mountain, road, in a spin class, or a Peloton ride!




www.bn3th.com





I also got an Assos chammy, which has substantial padding up front and seems to hold things in place pretty well. Also comes with small but seemingly effective hip pads.


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## plummet (Jul 8, 2005)

Wear a budgy smuggler.


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## .WestCoastHucker. (Jan 14, 2004)

awesome strap...


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## davec113 (May 31, 2006)

Or... Gorilla Glue for a more permanent solution.


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## EABiker (Jun 24, 2004)

I just made a small fender-like contraption above the chainrings to keep things out.


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## WHALENARD (Feb 21, 2010)

Both crankoneout and dangling ball sack are great porn handles. I'm a fan of your work. 

Sent from my Pixel 4a (5G) using Tapatalk


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## Ogre (Feb 17, 2005)

davec113 said:


> Or... Gorilla Glue for a more permanent solution.


Seems Gorilla Glue the trendy new thing and is trying to edge out the old classic, but since the R in MTBR stands for "Retired" or "Retread", I'm going to stick with the classic here and suggest Duct Tape.


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## KobayashiMaru (Apr 25, 2020)

I was blessed with endowment, both twig and berries, that can and will dip into the water sitting on the throne if I'm not watching things. I sometimes realize I've been cursed, but I'll spare everyone the contexts past the obvious that lead me to feel that way...

I just have to wear snug fitting synthetic boxer briefs under my chamois cycling shorts. I know you're not supposed to, but there is entirely too much migration during a ride if I don't, and I often happen upon young ladies and children on my trails. I don't want to offend anyone with my very visible hog, or be known as the guy on the trail that's always playing with himself if someone sees me making adjustments over and over again.


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## .WestCoastHucker. (Jan 14, 2004)

proper flexin..


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## targnik (Jan 11, 2014)

Ride when it's cold out...

Those puppies will crawl up inside where it's warm.

Problem solved.

Alternate solution...

Unic?? 

Sent from my HD1900 using Tapatalk


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## WHALENARD (Feb 21, 2010)

KobayashiMaru said:


> I was blessed with endowment, both twig and berries, that can and will dip into the water sitting on the throne if I'm not watching things. I sometimes realize I've been cursed, but I'll spare everyone the contexts past the obvious that lead me to feel that way...
> 
> I just have to wear snug fitting synthetic boxer briefs under my chamois cycling shorts. I know you're not supposed to, but there is entirely too much migration during a ride if I don't, and I often happen upon young ladies and children on my trails. I don't want to offend anyone with my very visible hog, or be known as the guy on the trail that's always playing with himself if someone sees me making adjustments over and over again.


Do you like sword fights?

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## Ogre (Feb 17, 2005)

targnik said:


> Ride when it's cold out...
> 
> Those puppies will crawl up inside where it's warm.


Ice pack them? Seems like that wouldn't last too long.


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## Sir kayakalot (Jul 23, 2017)

WHALENARD said:


> Do you like sword fights?
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 4a (5G) using Tapatalk


Is that an invitation?


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## WHALENARD (Feb 21, 2010)

Sir kayakalot said:


> Is that an invitation?







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## KobayashiMaru (Apr 25, 2020)

WHALENARD said:


> Do you like sword fights?


It depends on the context in which you are asking.

Conan The Barbarian is one of my favorite movies. I have 5 steel bikes in my stable, and the scene when Thulsa Doom explains the riddle of steel is my favorite scene.

I could recite the entire movie The Princess Bride from memory at one point in my life. The Crazy 88, O-Ren, and The Bride were awesome in Kill Bill. Rob Roy had a pretty good finale. I don't much care for the Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon-ish movies where combatants go flying through the air in a supernatural way though, but Big Trouble in Little China is a classic. Hari-Kari: Death of a Samuri is a great, gripping movie. The kids and I enjoy watching Forged In Fire together.

I shot on the rifle team in high school, and was always annoyed that fencing wasn't a more mainstream option. I've always been on the fringe, which is why I like riding bikes so much.


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## Ogre (Feb 17, 2005)

WHALENARD said:


> Sent from my Pixel 4a (5G) using Tapatalk


You'd think a guy named "WhaleNard" would have something more to bring to this discussion.


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## Crankout (Jun 16, 2010)

KobayashiMaru said:


> It depends on the context in which you are asking.
> 
> Conan The Barbarian is one of my favorite movies. I have 5 steel bikes in my stable, and the scene when Thulsa Doom explains the riddle of steel is my favorite scene.
> 
> ...


I ask this with the utmost respect and not to be a d*ck...are you autistic by any chance? You're writing brings that to mind, and in my field of work I have years of experience with autistic folks.


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## Crankout (Jun 16, 2010)

Thanks for the varied replies! I'll investigate different chamois options. I've been know to double up on chamois' to form a tight seal, as it were.


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## Harold (Dec 23, 2003)

pretty sure there's a surgical solution to this


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## WHALENARD (Feb 21, 2010)

Ogre said:


> You'd think a guy named "WhaleNard" would have something more to bring to this discussion.


Lol!...definitely deserve that one.

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## WHALENARD (Feb 21, 2010)

Harold said:


> pretty sure there's a surgical solution to this


The Heavens Gate procedure.

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## diamondback1x9 (Dec 21, 2020)

Arkansas Vasectomy


After having their 10th child, an Arkansas couple decided that that was
enough.
So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife
didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there
was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The
doctor told the man that he was to go home, get a cherry bomb, put it
in a can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Arky said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how
putting a cherry bomb in a can next to my ear is going to help me."

So the couple drove to Missouri to get a second opinion. The doctor
was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he
noticed they were from Arkansas. This doctor also told the man to go
home and get a cherry bomb, place it in a tin can, hold it next to his
ear and count to 10.

Figuring that both doctors couldn't be wrong, the
man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a can. He held the can
up to his ear and began to count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5...", at which point
he paused, placed the can between his legs and resumed counting on his
other hand.


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## KobayashiMaru (Apr 25, 2020)

Crankout said:


> are you autistic by any chance?


It's possible. I haven't been diagnosed. My family likes to joke that I am because I can't stand noise. A repetitive noise that's just incessantly annoying... my wife won't even notice it and the kids won't even realize they're making it, but it will drive me up a wall. If there are multiple sound streams, I can't focus in on any single one. I'm extremely literal. I'm very detail-oriented and have an incredibly analytical mind. It makes me seem as if I have no empathy, and people think I'm a cold, unfeeling ass sometimes.

I've been told these things are hallmarks of being autistic. If I am, I'm guessing I'm extremely high functioning. I have four college degrees, one of which is a doctorate, but four degrees and a few dollars will get you a cup of coffee... I drive an 18-wheeler for a living.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by my writing style, but I like to write, and I appreciate people who will read what someone has written. A lot of people today have no patience for things longer than a sentence, and really don't care for punctuation or proper grammar.

If you read letters written by people in the past, like during the Civil War, or perhaps from dignitaries like Benjamin Franklin to heads of state in other countries... The way they wrote was incredible. It was very much different than anything most people will put up with these days, that's for sure. So much of the conveniences we have because of technology have really watered down our capacity to read and write.

This forum seems to be regularly visited by people who enjoy writing and have the patience to read, even if it's from someone they're bothered by.

It's funny you ask that about that particular response. I really looked at it for a while and wondered if I should post it, but the phrase "sword fights", just brought up a lot a visions of great scenes in really good movies. I was bored and sitting around with not much else I was able to do, so why not?

While sometimes getting off topic can be annoying, the pinball careening of subjects in a thread can open avenues for more conversation. It's not like the original discussion was incredibly serious to start off with, although, in all honesty, I'm completely serious about my troubles with what I mentioned. I was glad when you started a post about it, because I've been wondering if there is anything I can do to help myself and have wanted to post about it for some weeks now.


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## Crankout (Jun 16, 2010)

KobayashiMaru said:


> It's possible. I haven't been diagnosed. My family likes to joke that I am because I can't stand noise. A repetitive noise that's just incessantly annoying... my wife won't even notice it and the kids won't even realize they're making it, but it will drive me up a wall. If there are multiple sound streams, I can't focus in on any single one. I'm extremely literal. I'm very detail-oriented and have an incredibly analytical mind. It makes me seem as if I have no empathy, and people think I'm a cold, unfeeling ass sometimes.
> 
> I've been told these things are hallmarks of being autistic. If I am, I'm guessing I'm extremely high functioning. I have four college degrees, one of which is a doctorate, but four degrees and a few dollars will get you a cup of coffee... I drive an 18-wheeler for a living.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the candid reply. Again, I asked out of respect and curiosity, not to offend.

Years ago we had a member who was on the spectrum and was very open about it. It came across in the content of his posts and dialogue.


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## Crankout (Jun 16, 2010)

Harold said:


> pretty sure there's a surgical solution to this


It's funny, I have wondered the same! Kind of like a nip and tuck to the scrot.


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## Arm&Hammer (Dec 19, 2020)

You are wearing bibs, right?


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## Harold (Dec 23, 2003)

Crankout said:


> It's funny, I have wondered the same! Kind of like a nip and tuck to the scrot.


if you want to call it that, sure


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## Crankout (Jun 16, 2010)

Harold said:


> if you want to call it that, sure


I absolutely would like to. Can I trademark the term?


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## Harold (Dec 23, 2003)

Crankout said:


> I absolutely would like to. Can I trademark the term?


you might be able to trademark it. might make the procedure more palatable to more guys


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## Crankout (Jun 16, 2010)

Harold said:


> you might be able to trademark it. might make the procedure more palatable to more guys


Let's deem it the 'scrot-tuck'. I'll have dibs and report back in a week.


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## cmg (Mar 13, 2012)

KobayashiMaru said:


> It depends on the context in which you are asking.
> 
> Conan The Barbarian is one of my favorite movies. I have 5 steel bikes in my stable, and the scene when Thulsa Doom explains the riddle of steel is my favorite scene.
> 
> ...


Highlander......


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