# Forgetting things as you get older?



## Happybill68 (Feb 4, 2020)

My wife has a amazing memory, she remembers so much more then me. 

She is concerned that I might have something wrong with me because I don’t seem to remember the things she does. 

It’s either there is something wrong with me physically that I can’t remember things (previous head traumatic injuries) or I’m physiologically blocking stuff from years past. 

Just curious if other people on here have the same issues. 

Thanks bill 


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## Juansan (Dec 30, 2020)

I can't remember.


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## MtnBkrBob (Aug 15, 2007)

yupe


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## DennisT (Dec 29, 2019)

I'm forgetting names more and having more tip-of-the-tongue moments where I can't pull up the right word. But that's different from episodic memory, which is what it sounds like you're talking about.

If your wife has an excellent memory, it may be difficult for her to understand that other people may not have the same level of recall. My wife has an amazing memory for places, people, and events. She can tell you who was at the 2017 Christmas dinner, whose house it was at, and who got drunk and said things. For me, that's relegated to the dim mists of prehistory in a month.

OTOH, she was watching some show and said, "what's that?" about an animal that was being shown. I glanced up, said, "That's an Aye-aye" and went back to what I was doing. She can't understand how I know those kinds of things. Different kind of memory.

So ask yourself if things are actually getting worse or if it's just perception.


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## flgfish (11 mo ago)

DennisT said:


> I'm forgetting names more and having more tip-of-the-tongue moments where I can't pull up the right word. But that's different from episodic memory, which is what it sounds like you're talking about.
> 
> If your wife has an excellent memory, it may be difficult for her to understand that other people may not have the same level of recall. My wife has an amazing memory for places, people, and events. She can tell you who was at the 2017 Christmas dinner, whose house it was at, and who got drunk and said things. For me, that's relegated to the dim mists of prehistory in a month.
> 
> ...


100% me and my wife, and it has always been like that. I think this may be a difference between male and female brains, because it seems like it is similar for everyone I know.


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## baitdragger (Feb 6, 2007)

What did you say?


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## D Bone (Jul 20, 2014)

I'll be 55 in 10 days and I have been wondering the exact same thing as the OP. My grandfather (Dad's Dad) died of Alzheimer's so it is a real concern of mine.

Some of my friends seem to remember things from our crazy youth a lot better than I do. I'm good if it happened in the last 3-10 years though, so hopefully it is just part of the aging process along with several bell ringings along the way.

I guess if I'm wrong, I won't remember it.


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## AKamp (Jan 26, 2004)

Pretty sure my wife uses my bad memory to her advantage. Either she really did tell me something or she is just gaslighting me and I assume she told me something. I don’t know if it is actually getting worse or I have just given up the fight. Either way it is generally pretty trial stuff that really doesn’t matter.


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## plummet (Jul 8, 2005)

I cant remember a number from looking at it to righting it down straight away......

But i can remember the thread pitch angles of bsp and not threads..... 

Why the actual Fark do i remember unimportant details and forget the importance stuff? Bloody old age.


Now should I need to remember when my wife remembers everything?


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## boostin (Apr 21, 2008)

I like to think I'm making room for new memories.


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## Tallboy723 (4 mo ago)

My wife and I always say “Prevagen” when I can’t think of a word or remember something. I really could use some Prevagen but ain’t spending the money. I’ll run upstairs to do or to get something and forget, and have to go back downstairs to remember. I forget stuff all the time. Oh well.


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## flgfish (11 mo ago)

Tallboy723 said:


> My wife and I always say “Prevagen” when I can’t think of a word or remember something. I really could use some Prevagen but ain’t spending the money. I’ll run upstairs to do or to get something and forget, and have to go back downstairs to remember. I forget stuff all the time. Oh well.


I have been ADD like that all my life. Want to get something, go into a room, get distracted by doing something else… it’s a weird sort of anti-superpower. But at least I get stuff done. I just wander a lot in the process. 

I think more men are like this than admit it. Or maybe it’s just my family.


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## Sanchofula (Dec 30, 2007)

Happybill68 said:


> My wife has a amazing memory, she remembers so much more then me.
> 
> She is concerned that I might have something wrong with me because I don’t seem to remember the things she does.
> 
> ...


How about every patient I see that’s over sixty five 🤣

Things to consider:
Functional memory vs remote memory
Distraction v depression v delirium v dementia
Family hx
Health and history of poor health choices (smoking, diet, alcohol, head injury)
Your spouse worrying about your memory issues more than you worry about it 😆

I see maybe a dozen folks a month with this complaint and perhaps one in ten have some cognitive impairment.

Changes in memory do not equal dementia.

Changes in Functional or Working memory are what I look for, ie can’t remember how to use the stove, get lost driving on roads familiar to them, etc …

If you’re really worried, go get an assessment, a psychiatric provider is a good bet, neurologist is an overkill, even a primary care provider can give you a mini mental exam.


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## ZX11 (Dec 24, 2020)

Can't remember an event when your memory is jogged by a hint? That would seem problematic.

I do plan on going to store for plywood and mole killer. At the store I select plywood and can not remember what the other thing is. I go home with just the plywood.


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## Adodero (Jul 16, 2009)

The dementia patients in my family had this weird combination of remarkable memory and reasoning while still unable to function, it is very strange. They all had significant changes in personality, behavior, and habits, some more dramatic than others, over the course of their illness. My mom going back almost a decade. 

My mom (FTD) became incredibly paranoid, obsessed with eating certain things, borderline alcoholic, and extremely negative or downride rude, which she never was before. It was a complete change in her personality. She could mostly still function and remembered the most bizarre things that most of us had forgotten, even until she died, but dementia for her was marked with behavior changes. In the months leading to her passing, she was still remembering what medicines she had to take. 

Both grandparents had Alzheimers and it was somewhat similar, although leaned more towards things like forgetting how to do really simple tasks, going for a drive and ending up somewhere with no clue how you got there, forgetting who people were, etc. By the time they were forgetting things in front of them, like a grocery list, they were long gone already. 

Everyone is different but I think the idea you are forgetting things your wife said is probably not an indicator, although it never hurts to ask your doctor or someone qualified to actually evaluate you. If those around you are seeing behavioral changes, at least for me, that's when I'd be more concerned, but everyone is different and every case seems different, the only way to be sure is to ask someone who can evaluate you in person.


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## DennisT (Dec 29, 2019)

Sanchofula said:


> Changes in Functional or Working memory are what I look for, ie can’t remember how to use the stove, get lost driving on roads familiar to them, etc …


I think the standard explanation is: If you can't remember where you left your keys, no biggie. If you can't remember how they're used, biggie.


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## milehi (Nov 2, 1997)

My grandpa was having trouble remembering things and his doc recommended vitamin B and it worked. He's 99 and can is totally cognizant.


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## Rev Bubba (Jan 16, 2004)

My wife of 44 years remembers everything I did wrong for the past 44 years but forgets that I am hard of hearing and even with hearing aids, I need to have her looking at me for me to understand what she is saying a lot of the time.


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## kpdemello (May 3, 2010)

If there's a question, go get a cognitive test. Even if there is nothing wrong, it will serve as a baseline that you can measure against in the future if the question ever comes up again.


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## rob214 (Apr 18, 2019)

I can't remember why I started reading this post..........


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## LVLBTY (Jul 15, 2020)

Thank god google remembers my passwords or I'd never be able to log into anything.


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## kpdemello (May 3, 2010)

I have a password vault app that is essential in today's world. My database contains well over 100 passwords to various web sites and accounts. It's ridiculous.


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## Sanchofula (Dec 30, 2007)

Rev Bubba said:


> My wife of 44 years remembers everything I did wrong for the past 44 years but forgets that I am hard of hearing and even with hearing aids, I need to have her looking at me for me to understand what she is saying a lot of the time.


My wife has a great memory, if I act the total fool and piss her off; which is pretty hard work, she forgets about it the next day.

I call this ^ her super power 🤣


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## dysfunction (Aug 15, 2009)

I've recently watched two people develop dementia, it was the complete change of personality that was the most obvious. FTD, man, that was just really a weird thing to watch. Weird things happen when you lose executive function. Since I already have ADHD, and therefore a few of these issues, I get it. This **** scares the hell, but Ben's correct.. there's a huge difference, and I just keep reminding myself that.


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## Adodero (Jul 16, 2009)

dysfunction said:


> FTD, man, that was just really a weird thing to watch. Weird things happen when you lose executive function.


Yea, that was rough. She was diagnosed late, she died a year after her diagnosis, as I understood it most people are diagnosed several years prior but also several years in. She definitely had some pretty major changes in behavior over the last 10 years or so. 

Pretty terrifying for me too, I've had facial trauma/concussion due to a riding accident and I know it has a genetic component. I considered getting screened but the results are so unreliable I'm not sure it would mean much. She had a poor diet, drank a ton of soda, never exercised, and had untreated sleep apnea. I'm hoping my differences in lifestyle prevent or at least delay it.


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## Crankout (Jun 16, 2010)

Mid-50's here and I do get the brain farts for rather innocuous things, such as the typical -walk-into-the-the-room to get something and then have to wait a second to recall my intended item that I planned to retrieve. 

If anything, I find myself more distracted by internal thoughts and other things that I need to do, etc. I then go off, impulsively, to attend to these things and then lose my train of thought. Typical stuff for our age. Everyone I know that is our age can relate.

It's bigger things that are more important or relevant that, if forgotten on a routine basis, may be disconcerting. For instance, driving somewhere and feeling completely lost. Not recalling the day, year, President, etc. 

There are some baseline measures to assess potential cognitive impairment.


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## keen (Jan 13, 2004)

When I was younger I had SML - selective memory loss. Now that I am older I have CRS - can't remember shi*.


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## wayold (Nov 25, 2017)

I used to have a really good memory - like photographic, quiz-show kind of memory. I noticed that start to fade in my early 40s and now I forget words and names all the time. Numbers and passwords took a lot longer, but I also started to space on them by my 60s. Mom and Dad were pretty coherent into their 90s so I'm hoping this is all just a long slow rollout into the sunset.


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## Radium (Jan 11, 2019)

Chronic clinical depression can really impact memory, and produce a dementia-like effect overall. 
Sometimes treating the depression results in a significant improvement in the old memory department.
Or so I'm told...


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## dysfunction (Aug 15, 2009)

Well, if you're old enough.. so can a UTI.


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## celswick (Mar 5, 2020)

My wife accuses me of being forgetful, but really I think I’m probably just zoned out or daydreaming sometimes. 

Luckily for me, she still remembers everything I’ve done wrong over the past 30 or so years, and is more than happy to remind me daily. 


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## abeckstead (Feb 29, 2012)

Clicked to respond... already forgot what I was going to say. Fukkin RIP


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## natas1321 (Nov 4, 2017)

I've been forgetting stuff since day one. 

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## Iranian-Mechanic (May 6, 2004)

I think besides old age.....having a device in your pocket that eliminates your need to remember anything instead just look upon them whenever you need to ........... also eliminate your need to even think about things and just search them on the web............thus your memory and your thinking dont need to work that much anymore..........so they get weaker & weaker as time goes by......
I personnaly think besides physical training and exercise.................we need to execise our mental abilities too in different fields like memory & problem solving and Etc.....


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## Crankout (Jun 16, 2010)

dysfunction said:


> Well, if you're old enough.. so can a UTI.


Yup! Used to happen to my dad all the time in his nursing home years.


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## NC_Foothills_Rider (11 mo ago)

I remember almost everything except where I put that damned 10 mm socket.


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## Crankout (Jun 16, 2010)

Iranian-Mechanic said:


> I think besides old age.....having a device in your pocket that eliminates your need to remember anything instead just look upon them whenever you need to ........... also eliminate your need to even think about things and just search them on the web............thus your memory and your thinking dont need to work that much anymore..........so they get weaker & weaker as time goes by......
> I personnaly think besides physical training and exercise.................we need to execise our mental abilities too in different fields like memory & problem solving and Etc.....


You bring up a good point. I do mental exercises every now and again when I'm feeling off-task or stupid. 

It might be recalling names of neighbors and their kids (we live a big 'hood and know many folks around here), or something rather random but intentional like that.


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## cyclelicious (Oct 7, 2008)

It's just as important to exercise your brain as your body. Think of it like brain aerobics. Read, study, do things like puzzles, engage in meaningful conversations, learn something new, etc etc. regularly.

Keep in mind that older people are slow on memory tests because they have more mental data to search for the answer. For example if you are trying to remember a name of a person from your past, it's better to take your time (use those little tricks to stimulate your memory banks) and arrive at the answer yourself. It's excellent stimulation for your brain because you've fired up all those brain cells by digging deep and will train you to stay sharper longer.


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## Sanchofula (Dec 30, 2007)

NC_Foothills_Rider said:


> I remember almost everything except where I put that damned 10 mm socket.


... which is why you end up with three or four of the most common size; you keep losing them and buy more only to find the lost ones later 

I got a bunch of 10mm and 12 mm, wanna buy some?


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## plummet (Jul 8, 2005)

I forget that I've posted in a thread to then go to give the same advice to discover that I've already given it...... 

Sometimes I'm reading someone's advice on a thread thinking this is solid advice, to then look at the user to see whose giving that advice and it's me........


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## plummet (Jul 8, 2005)

plummet said:


> I forget that I've posted in a thread to then go to give the same advice to discover that I've already given it......
> 
> Sometimes I'm reading someone's advice on a thread thinking this is solid advice, to then look at the user to see whose giving that advice and it's me........


Sometimes I give the advice twice in a thread even though I've already given it.... 

Sometimes I..... sorry I forgot what i was going to post.


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## Sanchofula (Dec 30, 2007)

plummet said:


> I forget that I've posted in a thread to then go to give the same advice to discover that I've already given it......
> 
> Sometimes I'm reading someone's advice on a thread thinking this is solid advice, to then look at the user to see whose giving that advice and it's me........


The best advice is often your own 👍


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## _CJ (May 1, 2014)

Best part of being forgetful?

Putting jerks on your ignore list, and then forgetting why. It's like they never even existed.


.


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## ZX11 (Dec 24, 2020)

_CJ said:


> Best part of being forgetful?
> 
> Putting jerks on your ignore list, and then forgetting why. It's like they never even existed.
> 
> .


But then neither mom nor I know why her texts aren't getting through.


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## paulhaynie2 (2 mo ago)

If you can remember your having a problem remembering, you don't have a problem.


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## paulhaynie2 (2 mo ago)

As we get older there is a lot more crap in the file cabinet


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## Bike Whisperer (Aug 7, 2012)

Happybill68 said:


> My wife has a amazing memory, she remembers so much more then me.
> 
> She is concerned that I might have something wrong with me because I don’t seem to remember the things she does.
> 
> ...


Bill,
I have been progressively having short term memory issues but one thing that I have read may be contributing to this is how many times (or often) you have been put under general anesthesia for surgeries. I had some major health issues back in 2011-2014 that resulted in three major surgeries. That left me with some lasting effects on my memory for years. Just recently I had a gall bladder issue that resulted in being put under general anesthesia twice in a 24 hour period and my brain has been in a serious fog since.

-Aaron


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## Tall BMX'r (Jan 11, 2021)

This just reminded me that my wife told me to put the towels in the dryer..... Thanks!


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## Sanchofula (Dec 30, 2007)

Bike Whisperer said:


> Bill,
> I have been progressively having short term memory issues but one thing that I have read may be contributing to this is how many times (or often) you have been put under general anesthesia for surgeries. I had some major health issues back in 2011-2014 that resulted in three major surgeries. That left me with some lasting effects on my memory for years. Just recently I had a gall bladder issue that resulted in being put under general anesthesia twice in a 24 hour period and my brain has been in a serious fog since.
> 
> -Aaron


Skip the surgery and your memory will cease to exist 

I doubt you have any persistent memory issues from anesthesia, esp after years ... as we get older it takes longer to recover from anesthesia, but to have long term impacts anesthesia it would have to be "brain damage", which is not that likely.

Here's a nice article from the NIH:









Lasting effects of general anesthetics on the brain in the young and elderly: “mixed picture” of neurotoxicity, neuroprotection and cognitive impairment


General anesthetics are commonly used in major surgery. To achieve the depth of anesthesia for surgery, patients are being subjected to a variety of general anesthetics, alone or in combination. It has been long held an illusory concept that the general ...




www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov




.

There are a ton of anecdotal reports on the internet, but real evidence is limited, because it's hard to measure pre and post memory, and because it's hard to know if the changes resulted from the surgical procedure, the anesthesia, medications post surgery, inflammation, natural age related changes, etc..

Clearly any surgery is risky, so keep that in mind when you are deciding on elective surgery in your golden years.


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## cyclelicious (Oct 7, 2008)




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