# My Ride today. Passion removed by jackwagon rider



## JDaniels (Jan 14, 2011)

Dropping in on some smooth out and back single track this morning, I was tooling along when my wife texts me about results of my daughter's dr appt. (Flu has made its presence known this week in my household)

I pull off to the side to respond when a rider comes up behind me. He pulls off as well and we exchange pleasantries. 

He then rides about 15 feet from me, gets off his ride, then proceeds to water the grass if you will.  :madman: :madmax: 

I couldnt believe the chutzpah on this jackwagon! 

I let him pedal off then I went the other way. Beautiful day marred by a thoughtless dude who couldnt ride another 1/4 mile back to the trail head and a restroom.


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## Bryank930 (Jun 12, 2006)

You gotta go, you gotta go I guess.


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## 245044 (Jun 8, 2004)

Doesn't take much to ruin your day, does it?


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## Marko G (Jun 24, 2009)

your right, it disgusts me when humans urinate in forests. I mean, animals are one thing, but humans, c'mon...


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## JDaniels (Jan 14, 2011)

mopartodd said:


> Doesn't take much to ruin your day, does it?


It was quite unexpected. 
We werent properly introduced.


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## jmctav23 (Oct 16, 2010)

it was an invitation man...


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## s0ckeyeus (Jun 20, 2008)

Next time remove your panties before hitting the trail.


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## Jonnyd3487 (Sep 16, 2010)

whats a chutzpah? are you mad because he peed or because his penis is bigger than yours?


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## Mike Aswell (Sep 1, 2009)

I'd be more mad at the person pulled over texting, to be honest. Though your child's health is an understandable concern.


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## Marko G (Jun 24, 2009)

my day is ruined now after hearing the horrors that occur on the trails


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## mattbryant2 (Apr 19, 2005)

Bfd.


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## JDaniels (Jan 14, 2011)

Sometimes, I wonder why I ever started posting here.

******s on the trail and apparently here too.

Dont worry, I wont let the door hit me on the way out.


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## scaryfast (Apr 23, 2004)

so as a result of seeing someone pee on a trail, you've lost your passion for bike riding?


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## scrublover (Dec 30, 2003)

JDaniels said:


> Dropping in on some smooth out and back single track this morning, I was tooling along when my wife texts me about results of my daughter's dr appt. (Flu has made its presence known this week in my household)
> 
> I pull off to the side to respond when a rider comes up behind me. He pulls off as well and we exchange pleasantries.
> 
> ...


If a tree is peed upon in the forest, does anyone whine about it?


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## clarkrw3 (Feb 21, 2011)

sounds to me like you need to get back on your road bike and well....keep riding!! I am sure you have never thought where people pee when backpacking....how about big wall climbing...or I bet all those guys in the peloton pull over and use the restroom. He PEE'D BFD it's a natural thing...in nature!! At least he didn't do it while you were talking :lol: I bet you never pass gas in public either!?


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## Marko G (Jun 24, 2009)

scrublover said:


> If a tree is peed upon in the forest, does anyone whine about it?


yes, JDaniels does:thumbsup:


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## s0ckeyeus (Jun 20, 2008)

I knew a guy on my soccer team in college who took a piss while still in the game. He just whipped it out and kept running down the sideline. Crazy nut.


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## wg (Dec 20, 2003)

clarkrw3 said:


> sounds to me like you need to get back on your road bike and well....keep riding!! I am sure you have never thought where people pee when backpacking....how about big wall climbing...or I bet all those guys in the peloton pull over and use the restroom. He PEE'D BFD it's a natural thing...in nature!! At least he didn't do it while you were talking :lol: I bet you never pass gas in public either!?


A few years back someone posted how they did the peloton pisser. A rather acrobatic feat if you think about the balance required.

To the OP: was he facing you with a grin or facing away just going about his business? There may have been ulterior motives... :lol: :shocked:


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## Duckman (Jan 12, 2004)

I want my 2 minutes back for reading this thread. Gotta be the dumbest post I've seen in a while.


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## JSumner13 (Apr 26, 2006)

Riding requires hydration....Hydration = having to piss. It's all part of the game, dude! Good thing he didn't have the roll of TP out taking a trailside dump


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## dompedro3 (Jan 26, 2004)

*my day was ruined too!*

Went for a ride, smooth singletrack, great weather, not another rider in sight...everything was going well, but soon I got the "call of nature" if you know what I mean. Lucky for me, I often ride this trail, and there is a convenient spot up ahead to throw down my bike and "water the grass".

I come around the corner and there is jackwagon texting on his cell phone, right in the middle of the path (ok, a little off to the side.) I squeezed by him, said "hi" and then decided, what the hell, he's texting, I'm going to take a piss. Screw him.

I was soo angry, I could barely pee, needless to say, damn texter ruined my damn day.


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## Howeler (Sep 23, 2005)

Good thing you didn't see what I left on a trail in Sedona after some really bad Mexi food.


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## jtmartino (Jul 31, 2008)

Duckman said:


> I want my 2 minutes back for reading this thread. Gotta be the dumbest post I've seen in a while.


Me too. I think the OP ruined my day with all his crying.


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## istandalone (Feb 6, 2011)

OP was just angry he didn't meet up with this guy in the restroom. OP is a possible cottager.


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## scrublover (Dec 30, 2003)

Yep, "tooling along" sounds about right.


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## arcticrobot (Apr 22, 2009)

One day I was pedaling up the nice hill and there were two dudes, one of them was leaking. Leaking dude sees me and finishes his stuff hastily and(probably) prematurely. When I reached the top of the hill he is going: "Geesh, I though you are a girl, glad you are not" Me: "In the same situation I would actually prefer a girl, to each his own"


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## Dougie (Aug 29, 2004)

Yay! More roadie panty-bunching in mountain biking!


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## Aaron D (Dec 14, 2005)

dompedro3 said:


> Went for a ride, smooth singletrack, great weather, not another rider in sight...everything was going well, but soon I got the "call of nature" if you know what I mean. Lucky for me, I often ride this trail, and there is a convenient spot up ahead to throw down my bike and "water the grass".
> 
> I come around the corner and there is jackwagon texting on his cell phone, right in the middle of the path (ok, a little off to the side.) I squeezed by him, said "hi" and then decided, what the hell, he's texting, I'm going to take a piss. Screw him.
> 
> I was soo angry, I could barely pee, needless to say, damn texter ruined my damn day.


the thread has been completed.

carry on with your business.


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## roxnroots (Aug 12, 2010)

Pee is organic. :thumbsup: 

Anyone remember the "South Park" episode where Kyle and Cartman's in the pool and all the little kids jump in and turn it golden and they have a fit? I didn't think this applied to mtbrs and singletrack but I guess I'm wrong.


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## Sheepo5669 (May 14, 2010)

I have been waiting for a thread about this! I have been too much of a pansy to start one.

So whats the etiquette for peeing on the trails? (not on the trails, off to the side!(thats where those random puddles come from!))

And dont say you dont do it. I know all of you weight weenies are happily losing those few grams on solo rides.

For the record, i do it privately. I walk off the trail and i pee downhill listening for others. I wouldnt wanna disturb anyones day or anything! Or look like a hobo in new york.

I agree with the o.p. that peeing right infront of a stranger is a little uncalled for. But i wouldnt let it wreck my day.

So whats the deal? Is this frowned upon? Fill me in.

Sheepo


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## istandalone (Feb 6, 2011)

and urine is sterile for christ's sake. not "nasty" like most people think. if i HAD to chose between getting spit on and pissed on (same amount of fluid for arguments sake) i'd take the golden shower.


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## LoneReaction (May 28, 2010)

I used to **** and pee everywhere... had to, outfield during army, they didn't have toilets.

And I'm the kind that cleans public toilet seats before using them. Lol~ Gotta do what you gotta do man!


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## Bro (Dec 20, 2010)

Sheepo5669 said:


> So whats the etiquette for peeing on the trails? (not on the trails, off to the side!(thats where those random puddles come from!))
> 
> So whats the deal? Is this frowned upon? Fill me in.


Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. My best trailside piss was at the top of the mountain on a bright, sunny day. Pulled off the trail, nothing more glorious than pissing over the cliff and into the valley....


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## Shark (Feb 4, 2006)

Wow, good thing he didn't drop a deuce beside you! haha


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## 2clue (Jun 9, 2007)




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## jmctav23 (Oct 16, 2010)

is that a barbed wire tat around his thigh??? fackin tough 'core roadie right there.


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## bamwa (Mar 15, 2010)

Ya buddy I'm just gonna ride a quarter mile back to the trail head for you mr.stranger sir to relieve myself. 

I will grab you some Grey Poupon for you while I'm there.


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## xenon (Apr 16, 2007)

You can't use the word "chutzpah" in this context. It comes from Hebrew, and native Hebrew speakers make no bones about watering the grass (or asphalt for that matter) wherever the mother Nature calls them, no matter who and of what gender is around.


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## Sheepo5669 (May 14, 2010)

> Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. My best trailside piss was at the top of the mountain on a bright, sunny day. Pulled off the trail, nothing more glorious than pissing over the cliff and into the valley....


That sounds majestic!

Sheepo


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## ravewoofer (Dec 24, 2008)

I ride solo, early in the morning. If I've got to take a leak, I just stop on the trail and whiz right over the top tube. I've never even given that a thought. Gosh I hope I haven't made any biker or hiker cry.


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## PoorBehavior (Sep 1, 2005)

scaryfast said:


> so as a result of seeing someone pee on a trail, you've lost your passion for bike riding?


It looks like he lost his passion for us. Probably influenced by the comments that not a single one of us would have been bothered by it. I guess I am a jaded lowlife as well because it would only have bothered me if he had walked across the trail and used the tree right beside me and then I would not have been offended so much as annoyed.


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## ThreeD (Feb 7, 2008)

Marko G said:


> my day is ruined now after hearing the horrors that occur on the trails


That's too funny.


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## Aaron D (Dec 14, 2005)

I got busted letting her rip one time.

I dind't know I was peeing next to another trail and had some female voyeurs come walking up as I was in mid stream. lmao!

lol one of the girls said so thats how they do it ! hahahaha!

I'm glad I didn't ruin there day and I learned to take a second look before whipping it out.


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## Aaron D (Dec 14, 2005)

I have no shame.


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## lumber825 (Sep 4, 2009)

I try to be sure there is no one right by me and go behind a tree if possible. One of my medications makes me pee a lot so when I gotta go I gotta go. Plus the trails I ride don't have Porta Pots in the woods.


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## RBowles (Jun 1, 2010)

I pee in the woods quite a bit. There is no restrooms at my trailhead.

Now that I think of it, I rode upon a bear taking a $hit in the woods, last year. So..... Yes. Bears also $hit in the woods.:thumbsup:


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## screampint (Dec 10, 2001)

Pull off, find a tree... The next rider might be a woman.

That being said, I have encountered guys relieving themselves trailside and changing into/out of their chamois at the trailhead; they tend to be far more embarrassed than I when I happen upon them.


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## LeeL (Jan 12, 2004)

JDaniels said:


> Sometimes, I wonder why I ever started posting here.
> 
> ******s on the trail and apparently here too.
> 
> Dont worry, I wont let the door hit me on the way out.


You say stupid things and are surprised when you're called out on it?

Only March and already a strong candidate for Stupid Topic thread of the year


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## Tim-H (Mar 20, 2010)

I think he was just letting you know it was hi trail. Marking it up before you claimed it.


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## annamagpie (Jun 5, 2009)

I pee outside all the time.
Blow snot outta my nose , farmer-style, all the time.
Hawk a loogie once in awhile.
Fart regularly.

I won't get into the other stuff, seeing as how this ain't the women's lounge.

Hope your day goes better. 

PS My insincere apologies to anyone I may have grossed out


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## lidarman (Jan 12, 2004)

JDaniels said:


> Sometimes, I wonder why I ever started posting here.
> 
> ******s on the trail and apparently here too.
> 
> Dont worry, I wont let the door hit me on the way out.


I Guess JDaniels had a bowl of Wheaties where that dude peed.

Wow, he only made it to 31 posts. That is worse than being the first one kicked off some reality show that never gets aired on tv.



LeeL said:


> You say stupid things and are surprised when you're called out on it?
> 
> Only March and already a strong candidate for Stupid Topic thread of the year


Bummer that the Grimy's died.


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## chrisem (Nov 18, 2006)

erik1245 said:


> Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. My best trailside piss was at the top of the mountain on a bright, sunny day. Pulled off the trail, nothing more glorious than pissing over the cliff and into the valley....


That was you?! You b......d!! I was the one in the valley!


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## gomer hardtale (Jul 2, 2008)

what a gal!!


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## electrik (Oct 22, 2009)




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## CYCLEJCE (Nov 2, 2010)

No way I would have gone down the trail to wizz. I would have said excuse me, turned away from said OP and pissed. Period.


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## Bro (Dec 20, 2010)

chrisem said:


> That was you?! You b......d!! I was the one in the valley!


Sorry dude. It was that or into a bush/on the trail, and apparently you aren't supposed to do that as the deer like the smell as a salt lick. You can imagine the amount of bacteria in there by the time they get to it, though. I figure, over the edge means the wind will spread it out and there won't be enough concentration anywhere to attract weird deer. :thumbsup:


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## e-luder (Mar 25, 2008)

I like a good outdoor piss, with or without spectators.


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

Why would anyone question the need to pee in the bush? One of life's pleasures. In fact, being a guy (pre-prostate disasters), every pee is one of life's great moments. Something to be savoured. The build-up, the release and the incredible pleasure and relief after. Who'd be a girl? Let's face it, adding the bush into the moment eclipses all other issues. Not only that but pee kills weeds here. And you can clean wounds with it. 

One question? I never seem to need a pee when I ride. It is hot here and even if I feel like one I can keep going and my body re-absorbes all moisture. Why do you need to pee on the trail?:smilewinkgrin:


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## s0ckeyeus (Jun 20, 2008)

Finding tampons on the trail is disgusting. I was hiking this past Fall and found a bunch of used feminine products that someone had tossed into the underbrush. It was hanging there all bloody and nasty about a foot from the trail. :barf:


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## dead_dog_canyon (Sep 8, 2010)

clarkrw3 said:


> how about big wall climbing...


What about the brown?

I spent 2 seasons of full time rock climbing in Yosemite. We pooped in brown paper lunch bags and tossed them over the side. You don't want to stink up the ledge you sleeping on! The stench of piss is bad enough. This is one of the reasons I always went in the spring. The snow had washed all the chock, etc. off every thing.

I never heard of any body base climbing getting hit, but could you imagine?


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## electrik (Oct 22, 2009)

s0ckeyeus said:


> Finding tampons on the trail is disgusting. I was hiking this past Fall and found a bunch of used feminine products that someone had tossed into the underbrush. It was hanging there all bloody and nasty about a foot from the trail. :barf:


Now, that is unacceptable.

All tampons and used toilet paper should be at least buried in a cat hole, burnt, or packed out. :madman:


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## highdelll (Oct 3, 2008)

is it better to be pissed off, or pissed on? :idea:


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## lumber825 (Sep 4, 2009)

I tried to pee the graffiti off this building. I figured if it worked all kinds of people would hire me to MTB to their graffiti problem areas. It didn't work.

But look what happened when I peed on this tree.


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## Blksocks (Dec 22, 2009)

I can understand if the guy pisses right out in the open but if he went behind a tree or bush then why care.


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## mstguide (Oct 20, 2008)

*love this*



annamagpie said:


> I pee outside all the time.
> Blow snot outta my nose , farmer-style, all the time.
> Hawk a loogie once in awhile.
> Fart regularly.
> ...


 I love this life in the trails


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## High Side (Apr 16, 2010)

I piss in the woods every chance I get.

matter of fact, when I'm at home and have to piss I go outside when the weather is nice (3 acre wooded lot)


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## Too High (May 11, 2009)

dompedro3 said:


> Went for a ride, smooth singletrack, great weather, not another rider in sight...everything was going well, but soon I got the "call of nature" if you know what I mean. Lucky for me, I often ride this trail, and there is a convenient spot up ahead to throw down my bike and "water the grass".
> 
> I come around the corner and there is jackwagon texting on his cell phone, right in the middle of the path (ok, a little off to the side.) I squeezed by him, said "hi" and then decided, what the hell, he's texting, I'm going to take a piss. Screw him.
> 
> I was soo angry, I could barely pee, needless to say, damn texter ruined my damn day.


bahahahaha!!


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## s0ckeyeus (Jun 20, 2008)

In college, the guys on the second story of my dorm used to piss off their deck. Once winter hit, they stopped going out onto the deck and pissed right out their door. The deck was covered in nasty ice-piss and a few piss-cycles hung down in front of my window.


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## mosesgolf (Feb 22, 2010)

dompedro3 said:


> Went for a ride, smooth singletrack, great weather, not another rider in sight...everything was going well, but soon I got the "call of nature" if you know what I mean. Lucky for me, I often ride this trail, and there is a convenient spot up ahead to throw down my bike and "water the grass".
> 
> I come around the corner and there is jackwagon texting on his cell phone, right in the middle of the path (ok, a little off to the side.) I squeezed by him, said "hi" and then decided, what the hell, he's texting, I'm going to take a piss. Screw him.
> 
> I was soo angry, I could barely pee, needless to say, damn texter ruined my damn day.


You too? Happened to me the other day as well. LMAO


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## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

electrik said:


> Now, that is unacceptable.
> 
> All tampons and used toilet paper should be at least buried in a cat hole, burnt, or packed out. :madman:


Should be packed out... period.

Burying or burning "garbage" in the woods (or meadows, valleys, mountains, plains, rivers) is not acceptable in modern times.


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## electrik (Oct 22, 2009)

bsieb said:


> Should be packed out... period.
> 
> Burying or burning "garbage" in the woods (or meadows, valleys, mountains, plains, rivers) is not acceptable in modern times.


Ideally, but if they don't... I prefer the buried/burned instead of the left hanging from a shrub!


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## MrRogers1935 (Jul 27, 2010)

I find nothing against pissing outside but do try to hold it until I find a restroom (every few miles or so on our local trails). When I do however, I kneel down by the rear deraileur, sorta like I'm fixing it or something and let the dragon loose. Smooth sailing thus far.

Whats a jackwagon?

MrR


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## DanConway (Sep 18, 2010)

dompedro3 said:


> Went for a ride, smooth singletrack, great weather, not another rider in sight...everything was going well, but soon I got the "call of nature" if you know what I mean. Lucky for me, I often ride this trail, and there is a convenient spot up ahead to throw down my bike and "water the grass".
> 
> I come around the corner and there is jackwagon texting on his cell phone, right in the middle of the path (ok, a little off to the side.) I squeezed by him, said "hi" and then decided, what the hell, he's texting, I'm going to take a piss. Screw him.
> 
> I was soo angry, I could barely pee, needless to say, damn texter ruined my damn day.


chillin out at my house right next to some smooth, flowy singletrack today when this jacknob pulls off the trail onto my face to text somebody. right when i'm about to say something, this other dude comes up and starts to "water me" if you will.

totally ruined my day.


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## kapusta (Jan 17, 2004)

I try to take care of my texting while pissing. Saves time.


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## nuclear_powered (Apr 18, 2007)

kapusta said:


> I try to take care of my texting while pissing. Saves time.


Multi-tasking - I like it.


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## ryandoobs (Dec 16, 2010)

jmctav23 said:


> it was an invitation man...


exactly what I was thinking :lol:


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## jonesy66 (Dec 25, 2007)

In our group, some including myself have been known to let it fly while standing over the bike at a rest stop. Don't see the big deal about it. When I first met my wife, she could not believe that people just pee in the woods. Her parents must be related to OP


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## rockNnachos (Jun 26, 2010)

I too peed in the woods. 

I am ashamed.


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## mstguide (Oct 20, 2008)

reading this post is stimulating. Hold on I have to go outside. ---------------------------------------------------. Ah much better now. I love the outdoors.


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## annamagpie (Jun 5, 2009)

I just thought of something. If the pee-er in question was trampling cryptogamic soil in order to relieve himself, I'd have been angry too. But, I would have then tried to educate the pee-er about the fragility of said soil.


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## Itchy The Clown (Feb 22, 2011)

annamagpie said:


> If the pee-er in question was trampling cryptogamic soil in order to relieve himself, I'd have been angry too. But, I would have then tried to educate the pee-er about the fragility of said soil.


The OP is trapped in the sh|thole of the South so any crypto is thousands of miles away.


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## JMac47 (Apr 23, 2004)

*Sounds like maybe.....*

OP's a new rider to the sport and was just surprised by it, not so much the deed. Not like it was one of his buddies on the ride with him. Then it'd be different story I would think. Could be wrong. :skep:

50 pee bashing posts on here. Give me a break.


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## highdelll (Oct 3, 2008)

^^^ - sorry, got nothin to do w/ the "sport"


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## riiz (Jul 8, 2010)

I wish I could pee in the woods, all I got is cacti and bushes, sigh...


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## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

riiz said:


> I wish I could pee in the woods, all I got is cacti and bushes, sigh...


watch those teddy bears, yikes :eekster:


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## LCdaveH (Jan 5, 2005)

*Man Law*

Sometimes, a guy's gotta go.

When outdoors, allow about 30 ft from other guys. (Allow more room if non-mans are present.)

Set up down wind and point yourself away from others.

Do what you gotta do. Do not shout about it. (Cross reference man laws on TMI)

Put things in order and resume your regularly scheduled activities.

Bystanders corollary: Do not get bent by a guy doing what a guy's gotta do.

Man law.

..


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## roxnroots (Aug 12, 2010)

*Do trailbuilders get an exemption?*

Hope the OP wouldn't be offended by trailbuilders peeing in the woods during 4-6 hour build sessions on the weekends maintaining the trails he's riding. We're often a long way from restroom facilities he'd consider appropriate.


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## MendonCycleSmith (Feb 10, 2005)

highdelll said:


> is it better to be pissed off, or pissed on? :idea:


As the saying goes in BC ski circles, I'd rather be off piste than pissed off.


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## mudanzas (Mar 7, 2011)

Shamelessly urinating in front of other people is sick. I’ve met such individuals for a couple of times and I’ve always wanted to slap the bastard. This is disgusting!


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## kapusta (Jan 17, 2004)

OK, as silly as it was for the OP to ***** about someone peeing, I would be a little weirded out if, with all the other places to go (like another 50 feet away), someone I never met before stopped 15 feet away from me in the middle of the woods to piss. Yes, I piss in the woods all the time, yes, I piss 15 feet away from people in the middle of the woods (if they are guys I am riding with, or certain women I know very well). And yes, I have peed in the middle of the woods where people I did not know saw me (including women), but it was not intentional. But what is described in the OP is just a bit off.

It would not have ruined my ride, or even put a damper on it, but I _would _be mentally red-flagging that dude as "_maybe-not-quite-right_".


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## "FFT" (Dec 9, 2010)

mudanzas said:


> Shamelessly urinating in front of other people is sick. I've met such individuals for a couple of times and I've always wanted to slap the bastard. This is disgusting!


Great 1st post, pissing on the fire, so to speak,


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## stubecontinued (Mar 14, 2007)

OP should obviously be on a road bike, safe from gross mountain bikers peeing in nature.


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## mudanzas (Mar 7, 2011)

kapusta said:


> Yes, I piss in the woods all the time, yes, I piss 15 feet away from people in the middle of the woods (if they are guys I am riding with, or certain women I know very well). And yes, I have peed in the middle of the woods where people I did not know saw me (including women), but it was not intentional.


I wish I could slap you!:madmax:


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## 245044 (Jun 8, 2004)

Roadies just pee off the road. 

Just let it rip, wind, rain, passing cars, whatever.


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## mudanzas (Mar 7, 2011)

Exactly! Pee OFF the road.  

How often do women that you know well pee in front of you?
Can you do us/women a favour and hide your ass in the bushes next time?


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## San Marcos (Feb 9, 2011)

No.


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## mudanzas (Mar 7, 2011)

:madman: That was a suggestion, not a question.


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## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

mudanzas said:


> Exactly! Pee OFF the road.
> 
> How often do women that you know well pee in front of you?
> Can you do us/women a favour and hide your ass in the bushes next time?


All the time, squat right next to the dudes. How can you see my ass when I'm pissing? Are you one of those weirdos looking up peoples asses?


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## kapusta (Jan 17, 2004)

mudanzas said:


> I wish I could slap you!:madmax:


I think it is safe to assume you are NOT one of the women I would intentionally pee in sight of:thumbsup:

Of course, if I was doing my best to be discrete and you unexpectedly came up on me while doing so, that's your problem if you can't handle it.


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## kapusta (Jan 17, 2004)

stubecontinued said:


> OP should obviously be on a road bike, safe from gross mountain bikers peeing in nature.


I guess you missed the roadie pic in this thread


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## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

I've known folks who couldn't do their business without a restroom with a flush toilet. Sad how such nonsense cripples folks... you certainly wouldn't want to travel far or wide.


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## kapusta (Jan 17, 2004)

mudanzas said:


> Can you do us/women a favour and hide your ass in the bushes next time?


I don't show my @ss when I pee.


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## neveride (Feb 7, 2004)

wg said:


> A few years back someone posted how they did the peloton pisser. A rather acrobatic feat if you think about the balance required.
> 
> To the OP: was he facing you with a grin or facing away just going about his business? There may have been ulterior motives... :lol: :shocked:


Racing at Mount Snow with a friend of mine years ago, less than a mile off the start line on one of the big fire road climbs, he gets off the bike,and while holding his bike and continuing to run uphill (and keep up with other guys still riding) he pisses on the side of the trail.

Now that was impressive.


----------



## 245044 (Jun 8, 2004)

mudanzas said:


> Exactly! Pee OFF the road.
> 
> How often do women that you know well pee in front of you?
> Can you do us/women a favour and hide your ass in the bushes next time?


  You're just jealous you can't do it.


----------



## ryandoobs (Dec 16, 2010)

LCdaveH said:


> *Man Law*
> 
> When outdoors, allow about 30 ft from other guys. (Allow more room if non-mans are present.)


I think 15ftish if your with your buddies, 30ft+ if its a random person. 
If the guy was turned the other way then whats the big deal? no harm no foul right?

What I have a problem with is that if you get caught urinating in public its considered indecent exposure and you get placed on a sex offender list in my state.


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## claydough001 (Apr 30, 2010)

Just for You!!!!


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## D45yth (Jan 30, 2009)

This is unbelievable! To have your day ruined because you saw somebody pee. Ridiculous. As someone who is outdoors a lot, both with work and with biking. I have to pee outside all the time and have never thought that anybody who should see me would have their day ruined by it!!! I've never batted an eyelid weather it be a friend, work colleague or stranger, male or female, who's answering the call of nature.

DF


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## mykel (Jul 31, 2006)

mudanzas said:


> Exactly! Pee OFF the road.
> 
> *How often do women that you know well pee in front of you?*
> Can you do us/women a favour and hide your ass in the bushes next time?


More often than you would think. My wife and I share a bathroom. As well, we do quite a bit of canoe-tripping out in the bush. You know where the closest "Restroom Facilities" are 25 miles of paddling and 5 miles of portaging away. If on a portage and she has to go, we go off-trail, dig a cat-hole - I stand guard and she does her business. Waste and any paper in the cathole, covered and off we go. The same goes for anybody I take on a trip.

As for on the bike, same as Kapusta and the others, go off-trail, get as much "privacy" as you can reasonably find. Do your business and then get back to the reason your out there - ride yer bike.

michael


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## anthony.delorenzo (Aug 17, 2006)

omg this is horible i am never ridng a bike again


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## tscheezy (Dec 19, 2003)

Please, Lord, let someone pee in his cornflakes and put the previous transgression into perspective?

Amen.






















PS- I just felt that I needed to be part of the dumbest thread ever posted on Passion. For posterity. To say I was there, part of history, and stuff.


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## bamwa (Mar 15, 2010)

yes thank you trailbuilders for your efforts.:thumbsup: I thought urine helped break in trail. Kind of like bmx guys watering down their dirt jumps.


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## banzai132 (Aug 20, 2007)

Marko G said:


> my day is ruined now after hearing the horrors that occur on the trails


LOL!


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## banzai132 (Aug 20, 2007)

anthony.delorenzo said:


> omg this is horible i am never ridng a bike again


LOL LOL!


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## byknphil (Oct 10, 2009)

s0ckeyeus said:


> Next time remove your panties before hitting the trail.


Agree


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## electrik (Oct 22, 2009)

ryandoobs said:


> I think 15ftish if your with your buddies, 30ft+ if its a random person.
> If the guy was turned the other way then whats the big deal? no harm no foul right?
> 
> What I have a problem with is that if you get caught urinating in public its considered indecent exposure and you get placed on a sex offender list in my state.


And if somebody sees your junk in a bathroom? Haha, North Americans - so strange. I love the person(women?) almost vomiting at the _idea_ of accidentally catching a glimpse of a urinating man in the middle of the woods. I can tell u that, er, well nevermind! Lets just say god help her if she comes across a bloody tampon hanging from a shrub or a suicide corpse.


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## lumber825 (Sep 4, 2009)

Kinda makes you wonder what Daniel Boone, Lewis and Clarke, etc etc etc did back in the day. People have been peeing in the woods long before we starting biking.


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## s0ckeyeus (Jun 20, 2008)

electrik said:


> Lets just say god help her if she comes across a bloody tampon hanging from a shrub or a suicide corpse.


Or visits a foreign country.


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## NashVis (Jun 19, 2009)

"Hiking is just walking where its OK to pee" Demetri Martin. 
The same is true for MTBing.


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## Aaron D (Dec 14, 2005)

mudanzas said:


> :madman: That was a suggestion, not a question.


please let me know you are in my ride group...

I would hate to offend you.

or by god you see my little wang...

and please give extreme advanced warning before you let the flood gates rip so that I can ride miles down trail before you letter rip.

people jeeze :madman:


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## Haggis (Jan 21, 2004)

No one yet has considered the possibility of a urinary tract infection necessitating the confluence of urinater and texter. 

There's always an explanation for unexplained urination, at least that's what my vet says...


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## NashVis (Jun 19, 2009)

The HIVE-mind has spoken.


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## rebel1916 (Sep 16, 2006)

Anyone ever play Edward 40hands. It's when you duct tape a 40 oz to each hand and the first contestant to finish wins. Needless to say, this makes urination difficult. I have known a number of skirted women to remove their drawers, prior to taping their hands, in order to gain an unfair advantage by being able to relieve themselves mid game. I always just though it showed admirable competitive drive.


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## Sheepo5669 (May 14, 2010)

> Anyone ever play Edward 40hands. It's when you duct tape a 40 oz to each hand and the first contestant to finish wins. Needless to say, this makes urination difficult. I have known a number of skirted women to remove their drawers, prior to taping their hands, in order to gain an unfair advantage by being able to relieve themselves mid game. I always just though it showed admirable competitive drive.


I remove my pants before playing


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## rebel1916 (Sep 16, 2006)

I have known one woman who did that, but I didn't mention her cause I figured she was justt an outlier.


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## Aaron D (Dec 14, 2005)

Sheepo5669 said:


> I remove my pants before playing


I start with it out...


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## taletotell (Mar 3, 2009)

mopartodd said:


> Roadies just pee off the road.
> 
> Just let it rip, wind, rain, passing cars, whatever.


Just not into the wind!


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## taletotell (Mar 3, 2009)

When I was a child my family often took road trips in our 70's dodge van. There were six kids, two parents, and occasionally a dog in the vehicle. If we had stopped for every pee it we never would have gotten anywhere. Instead, we opened the side doors for the boys (I'm pretty sure dad slowed down) and the girls held it. I fondly remember my mom bracing me so I didn't fall out while I bore my junk to the whipping wind and let it fly.
Good times.
I know. It was screwed up, but not any more screwed up than sitting for days between to pubescent older brothers who hadn't figured out deodorant yet.

Peeing outside is one of the few things that connects us to nature. The fact that someone else is nearby doesn't bother me a bit. I don't want to offend, but neither do I want to leave my bike where they could steal it.
Pooping requires more privacy, and occasionally a sock . . .


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## electrik (Oct 22, 2009)

Speaking on urination ideologies...perhaps there is something more complex going on here also?


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## NashVis (Jun 19, 2009)

Sheepo5669 said:


> I remove my pants before playing


Like a boss!


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## taletotell (Mar 3, 2009)

Sounds like good old Freudian anal expulsive vs anal retentive.


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## Hellav8ted (Aug 26, 2009)

I had never heard the word 'jackwagon' before, much less used as a pejorative, so I googled that shi t:










According to the internet, a 'jackwagon', or possibly 'jackwagons' are involved (though I'm not sure how) in this image.


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## Bro (Dec 20, 2010)

Hellav8ted said:


>


The real story behind Snooki's tribal coloring...


----------



## electrik (Oct 22, 2009)

Is that why hey all look orangey yellow on that show, i thought it was spray-on tanning...?


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## Bmateo1 (Dec 7, 2009)

JDaniels said:


> Dropping in on some smooth out and back single track this morning, I was tooling along when my wife texts me about results of my daughter's dr appt. (Flu has made its presence known this week in my household)
> 
> I pull off to the side to respond when a rider comes up behind me. He pulls off as well and we exchange pleasantries.
> 
> ...


*Haiku*
Joyous Day in Woods
Thoughtless Jackwagon, piss near
Chudzpah, Passion Lost


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## Mark_123 (Nov 4, 2009)

Cell phones should be turned off when in the woods.


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## copsey (Jul 11, 2010)

taletotell said:


> When I was a child my family often took road trips in our 70's dodge van. There were six kids, two parents, and occasionally a dog in the vehicle. If we had stopped for every pee it we never would have gotten anywhere. Instead, we opened the side doors for the boys (I'm pretty sure dad slowed down) and the girls held it. I fondly remember my mom bracing me so I didn't fall out while I bore my junk to the whipping wind and let it fly.
> Good times.


We have a Sprinter van with a funnel, two foot hose and a hole in the floor for on the go number one.


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## mikeridesabike (Feb 16, 2009)

Peeing in the woods is one thing, but man, I hate it when I have to go #2. Many years ago, I was kayaking the French Broad River when nature called. I took care of my business and the reached out for the nearest leaf to clean things up. Unfortunately, that turned out to be poison ivy. I was scratching my a$$ like a madman for a week.


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## jtmartino (Jul 31, 2008)

mikeridesabike said:


> Peeing in the woods is one thing, but man, I hate it when I have to go #2. Many years ago, I was kayaking the French Broad River when nature called. I took care of my business and the reached out for the nearest leaf to clean things up. Unfortunately, that turned out to be poison ivy. I was scratching my a$$ like a madman for a week.


The one time I dropped a deuce during a trail ride, I stepped on a sharp stick that impaled itself into the side of my calf. Five years later, I'm pretty sure a piece of the stick is still in there...


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## nemhed (May 2, 2010)

For the record I don't urinate or defecate. This thread is just winning!:thumbsup:


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## tcapri87 (Jan 17, 2009)

JSumner13 said:


> Riding requires hydration....Hydration = having to piss. It's all part of the game, dude! Good thing he didn't have the roll of TP out taking a trailside dump


Whats wrong with that???


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

kapusta said:


> I try to take care of my texting while pissing. Saves time.


Is that really multi-tasking, or is kapusta a girl?


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## skullcap (Nov 4, 2010)

This thread really cracks me up  . (Pun intended.) If that's what the OP was going for then :thumbsup: . If not then, wow, you've led a truly sheltered life. I guess it's good you're gettting out into the world a little bit then, isn't it?


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## s0ckeyeus (Jun 20, 2008)

JDaniels said:


> ...a rider comes up behind me. He pulls off as well and we exchange pleasantries.


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## Duckman (Jan 12, 2004)

Wow. 29 pages and still going strong. 

I have to go pee in the yard now. 

Carry on.


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## powpig2002 (Sep 13, 2009)

try whizzing out the door of a ch-53 leaning out against a gunners belt with the crew chief hanging onto your jacket while hovering over myrtle beach.


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## highdelll (Oct 3, 2008)

powpig2002 said:


> try whizzing out the door of a ch-53 leaning out against a gunners belt with the crew chief hanging onto your jacket while hovering over myrtle beach.


done it - B-o-o-r-i-n-g, next


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## highdelll (Oct 3, 2008)

I'm gonna pee on my neighbors lawn now


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## Bro (Dec 20, 2010)

highdelll said:


> I'm gonna pee on my neighbors lawn now


Hehehe... He doesn't know what I've done to his gas cap.


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

I paused on a really steep climb today. The last rider in our group of 13, yells up to me from the switchback below that I can go on, so I'm "yeh all good, I'm just thinking about some trail options over the other side of the spur." OK she says, "it's just that I'm going to water this tree". I laughed like a jackwagon:ihih:


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## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

Ridnparadise said:


> I paused on a really steep climb today. The last rider in our group of 13, yells up to me from the switchback below that I can go on, so I'm "yeh all good, I'm just thinking about some trail options over the other side of the spur." OK she says, "it's just that I'm going to water this tree". I laughed like a jackwagon:ihih:


What a jillwagon.


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## jeffw-13 (Apr 30, 2008)

What a jackwagon


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## powpig2002 (Sep 13, 2009)

Sucks when you're taller than the trees


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## anthony.delorenzo (Aug 17, 2006)

Posted by a friend on Facebook, but I felt I just had to share it here:


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

anthony.delorenzo said:


> Posted by a friend on Facebook, but I felt I just had to share it here:


That's funny in Benny Hill sort of way.
Not on subject because it was done with lots of footprints rather than yellow "ink", but I once saw a huge sign stamped in the snow - "JESUS IS LORD". The next day it read :"JESUS DRIVES A FORD".


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## Mellow Yellow (Sep 5, 2003)

*Speaking as an mtbr old timer...*

In all my years on this website, very few times have a read through en entire thread that is 3+ pages long. This one has got to be one of the funniest and longest running post ever.:thumbsup: 

We've all had nature call upon us while on the trail, it's no big deal. Just use some comon sense and have some respect for those around you or who might use the trail later by just going well off the trail.

And too JDanniels;
PS dude, you need to relax! You actually stoppoed your ride, not because your child was sick, but because a guy pissed in the woods? Wow, your life must be going quite well if this is the worst thing going on in your world. BTW, did you notice that he was also RIDING?!
PPS: I hope your child is well and feeling better


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## rebel1916 (Sep 16, 2006)

Excellent name for the thread Mellow Yellow.


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## winchboy (May 2, 2006)

Nothing wrong with peeing in the forest, turn your back if suitable cover isn't available and maintain a descrete distance. Just don't blast the dreaded twin stream and get your own shoe, not that I ever have....


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## thebigred67 (Mar 29, 2005)

scrublover said:


> Yep, "tooling along" sounds about right.


Oar maybe "trolling along"? :thumbsup:


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## Scott O (Aug 5, 2004)

Is peeing on a slag heap while shooting an album cover acceptable?


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## Flankerdog (Jun 26, 2007)

s0ckeyeus said:


> I knew a guy on my soccer team in college who took a piss while still in the game. He just whipped it out and kept running down the sideline. Crazy nut.


I used to pee on the pitch prior to every rugby game.

Ritual like.


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## aaabronco (Mar 15, 2011)

I just started mountain biking last week, and officially peed on the side of the trail. it was great


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## Flankerdog (Jun 26, 2007)

wg said:


> A few years back someone posted how they did the peloton pisser. A rather acrobatic feat if you think about the balance required.
> 
> To the OP: was he facing you with a grin or facing away just going about his business? There may have been ulterior motives... :lol: :shocked:


I used to ride with a guy who does alot of triathalons. He described how he would be mid race, feel the urge, and just pull it out of the bottom of his shorts and let it go while still pedalling.

I thought he was full of ***** until one ride I was behind him trying to keep up (he was fast and fit, unlike me, fast and dumb) and noticed a wet line with splatters on the trail. Look up, and sure 'nuff, wizzing while pedaling. I nearly fell over I was laughing so hard.


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## b-kul (Sep 20, 2009)

duh, winning


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## istandalone (Feb 6, 2011)

Flankerdog said:


> I used to ride with a guy who does alot of triathalons. He described how he would be mid race, feel the urge, and just pull it out of the bottom of his shorts and let it go while still pedalling.
> 
> I thought he was full of ***** until one ride I was behind him trying to keep up (he was fast and fit, unlike me, fast and dumb) and noticed a wet line with splatters on the trail. Look up, and sure 'nuff, wizzing while pedaling. I nearly fell over I was laughing so hard.


that's priceless!


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## Supadave (Apr 5, 2008)

ut:


JDaniels said:


> Sometimes, I wonder why I ever started posting here.
> 
> ******s on the trail and apparently here too.
> 
> Dont worry, I wont let the door hit me on the way out.


Seriously? This guy? ut:


----------



## istandalone (Feb 6, 2011)

Supadave said:


> ut:
> 
> Seriously? This guy? ut:


this guy takes this hobby (and forum) way too seriously. we're here to have fun, and if he lets a great/funny thread like this bother him then good riddance!


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## rcp916 (Aug 27, 2010)

I pee all over the place man Sack-up dude! Now if the guy started pulling his pork I could see a problem.:nono:


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## Marcus75 (Jul 29, 2003)

*You got to go! You got to go?*



Marko G said:


> your right, it disgusts me when humans urinate in forests. I mean, animals are one thing, but humans, c'mon...


I though we're part of the Animal kingdom too? I


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## electrik (Oct 22, 2009)

Marcus75 said:


> I though we're part of the Animal kingdom too? I


Not in the southern states.


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## bad_andy (Apr 17, 2009)

What a jackwagon.
Ruined my day.


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## b-kul (Sep 20, 2009)

hahaha. my parents have a nearly identicle picture of me.


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## washedup (Jan 2, 2006)




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## Bro (Dec 20, 2010)

I really like how there are two completely different/identical threads going around right now. This one's about people pissing off trail -- OP got flamed out. And one thread is about dogs crapping on the trail -- the masses are with that OP. :thumbsup:


----------



## scrublover (Dec 30, 2003)




----------



## ProfGumby (Feb 27, 2008)

Duckman said:


> I want my 2 minutes back for reading this thread. Gotta be the dumbest post I've seen in a while.


You're not looking hard enough....


----------



## dr.mediocre (Sep 22, 2006)




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## Seanbike (Mar 23, 2004)

Let it flow. If you gotta drop a deuce though find a little privacy and make sure you have something to wipe. Opening a couple clif bars to recycle the wrappers while trying to keep the prairie dog in it's home for another minute is not fun and also a less than ideal material for said purpose.


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## sooner518 (Aug 1, 2007)

Isnt pissing in the woods part of the allure of going into the woods in the first place? You're walking around, the weather is nice, lots of trees and fresh air, and hey! I gotta take a piss. And when youre in the woods, you just do it. None of this walking to the bathroom or washing your hands crap.

This thread is amazing. well done guys.

And yes, this is the same guy in both pics. 


















Different guy. (why do i take so many peeing pics?)


----------



## GFAthens (Sep 10, 2009)

Seriously JDaniels? I would expect this kind of thread out of some women, but isn't it just a part of male culture to like peeing outside.

I pee in my backyard almost as much as I do in my toilet. Peeing outside is awesome.

Unless he was facing you and seemed like he may be aiming at you, I don't see any reason to take offense.

But don't let this thread turn you off of the forum! It's all in good fun man.


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## GFAthens (Sep 10, 2009)

Bmateo1 said:


> *Haiku*
> Joyous Day in Woods
> Thoughtless Jackwagon, piss near
> Chudzpah, Passion Lost


Ripping this off for my signiture, let me know if you have any objections!


----------



## Mellow Yellow (Sep 5, 2003)

This thread just keeps getting better!


----------



## scrublover (Dec 30, 2003)

Mellow Yellow said:


> This thread just keeps getting better!


Especially since the OP hasn't posted in what, about two weeks?


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## Bro (Dec 20, 2010)

scrublover said:


> Especially since the OP hasn't posted in what, about two weeks?


I think OP genuinely did leave! Now what's he to do with his time?


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

I'm sure he will find something to do with his Jackwagon:blush: :blush: :yikes: :band: :band: :rockon: :rockon: :band: :band: :drumroll: :drumroll: :drumroll:


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## Cedar Branch Biker (Jul 28, 2010)

Could be a case of an enlarged prostate combined with a bicycle seat pounding it. Is there really such a thing as a "comfortable" bike seat? Of course, the conditions MTB's ride in probably makes any seat uncomfortable.


----------



## Space Robot (Sep 13, 2008)

*You want your hat back?*

This reminds me of the time I was hiking to a waterfall, pretty far out. No one around so when I get there, I step away a bit to relieve myself on a rock. Just before, I had noticed a hat on the ground and picked it up. Finders keepers, right? So, while checking out my new hat in one hand, holding my junk in the other, I let it fly.

To my horror, I turn around and there is a woman on the other side of the creek staring at me. Kinda one of those man-hating, mullet-wearing type of women if you know what I mean.

And yep, that was her hat...


----------



## Shark (Feb 4, 2006)

Maybe they need to follow BC's idea's.....save everyone from the horrors of peeing in nature.


----------



## big knobs (Mar 31, 2006)

Is it ok to fart in the great out of doors???


----------



## wickedone31 (Jul 18, 2010)




----------



## Mellow Yellow (Sep 5, 2003)

*OK, what I want to know is...*



wickedone31 said:


>


why did the guy in the red shirt just stand there?!


----------



## Sandman69 (Mar 17, 2011)




----------



## mikeridesabike (Feb 16, 2009)

I like to pee off of my back deck as long as it's after dark. Saves on the water bill.


----------



## geo025 (Dec 20, 2010)

JDaniels said:


> Dropping in on some smooth out and back single track this morning, I was tooling along when my wife texts me about results of my daughter's dr appt. (Flu has made its presence known this week in my household)
> 
> I pull off to the side to respond when a rider comes up behind me. He pulls off as well and we exchange pleasantries.
> 
> ...


Totally agree JD, it's just not on someone pissing on your grass, Godamit! 
 :madman: :madmax:

....did you manage to salvage any of it ?


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

Mellow Yellow said:


> why did the guy in the red shirt just stand there?!


He got the close-up:thumbsup:


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## Let's Ride (Dec 3, 2007)

I once asked a Jewish friend what a schmuck was.

He said a schmuck is a guy who would get out of the shower (mid-shower) to pee in the toilet. 

JD seems to fit the bill.


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## nemhed (May 2, 2010)

Let's Ride said:


> I once asked a Jewish friend what a schmuck was.
> 
> He said a schmuck is a guy who would get out of the shower (mid-shower) to pee in the toilet.
> 
> JD seems to fit the bill.


Okay, now we're starting(?) to drift. At a former job, we had a long discussion about whether it was okay to pee in the shower. The group(all men) was split with about 75% not having a problem with peeing in the shower, 25% saying it is a disgusting practice. I don't know what any of it means.


----------



## Flankerdog (Jun 26, 2007)

Spring Break back in the college days, I was taking a nap on the beach (ok I was passed out, it was spring break!), woke up still groggy and turned around a took a piss.

Right in front of some lady who apparantly didn't like the idea. She told the cops, who subsequently arrested me and took me in.

Before they booked me, we started shooting the **** and evidently I made freinds. They laughed at me, told me not to do it again, and let me go.

Man law.


----------



## Blueliner (Apr 5, 2010)

Regarding the OP...I would not have been offended, just would have regarded it is weird (assuming he is a stranger) now if he was a friend and he started fixing me a sandwich that would be gross.

I have a couple of neighbors who drink heavily, they get hammered in their garages, we are in a new neighborhood, houses packed together...they will go outside of the garage around to the side of the house (in plain view) and pee on the side of the house...thats too much for some (however amusing for me) One time they were at a BBQ at our place and they were smashed, one of them went around the side of my house and began peeing against the side of my house...piss running down the walk way, my wife walks around the corner and gets an eyefull of this...funny sh*t!!, she had me hosing down the side of the house and path with a garden hose....to this day I always bust their nuts about it....both guys are former infantry.

Blueliner


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## Mellow Yellow (Sep 5, 2003)

Flankerdog said:


> Man law.


LOL @ "Man Law":thumbsup:


----------



## Mellow Yellow (Sep 5, 2003)

*Hmmm... Funny things is...*



JDaniels said:


> Sometimes, I wonder why I ever started posting here.
> 
> ******s on the trail and apparently here too.
> 
> Dont worry, I wont let the door hit me on the way out.


I just saw that JDaniels has logged on as recently as two days ago; which means that he's still around and lurking!

JD, in all seriousness, don't take the things that are said on this post so seriously and so much to heart. Once you actually meet some of these people in person, you would see that most of them are all really nice folks. I've had the pleasure of meeting allot of MTBR folks over the years and not one has been a dissapointment in person.

As for flames go, this thread (as funny as it is) isn't anywhere near as harsh as some that I've seen in the past. Passion has had threads that were so filled with hate, anger and general nastiness that some folks have had their I.P. addresses blocked from ever logging on to MTBR. In fact, I'm 99% sure that one person even got fired from their job for flaming folks while using their work PC.

So, as much as you didn't appreciate someone taking a piss not too far away from where you were standing, take a breath and recognize that everyone has an opinion and ways of doing things, even if you don't agree with them. Take a deep breath, and just let it go; then get out on your bike and just ride!


----------



## 245044 (Jun 8, 2004)

GFAthens said:


> Seriously JDaniels? I would expect this kind of thread out of some women, but isn't it just a part of male culture to like peeing outside.
> 
> *I pee in my backyard almost as much as I do in my toilet. Peeing outside is awesome.*Unless he was facing you and seemed like he may be aiming at you, I don't see any reason to take offense.
> 
> But don't let this thread turn you off of the forum! It's all in good fun man.


Gets a little interesting when you get caught by the women nextdoor too.  I think she was more embarrassed than I was.


----------



## B-Mac (Oct 2, 2008)

Riding a trail locally last summer, I came upon the awful realization that a deuce was knocking (pounding violently, really) at the door. 

Having no other options, Abandoned the bike and ran into the woods. 

The task completed, I fished for my bag of TP & realized with horror that I'd lent it to a buddy who had failed to return the unused portion. 

I completed the remaining 5 miles of trail with only one sock. Got my ankle pretty good a few times too.


----------



## Annadel72 (Feb 4, 2011)

If you are not a child and I am on a ride I will pee in front of you, ill turn my back and all though.


----------



## Scott O (Aug 5, 2004)

ok, on a serious note, would this guy be considered a jackwagon rider....?

COLUMBUS, Ohio, March 20 (UPI) — An Ohio man’s drinking problem has landed him in jail, but not for alcohol abuse, officials said. Alan David Passion, 59, allegedly has a fetish for drinking urine and he has been ordered to spend 30 days in jail and five years under house arrest for a recent bathroom-related crime, The Columbus Dispatch reported. “I’m not certain jail time is going to do the trick for him,” said Columbus Assistant City Prosecutor Joseph E. Schmotsky. “It seems like what Mr. Passion really wants to do is just do the jail time and then get out and do it again.” The judge also banned Patton from using public restrooms.


----------



## Rocket66 (Jul 30, 2010)

Hmmmm maybe an outhouse every 500m on them there trials is the answer..


----------



## KarateChicken (Dec 11, 2005)

Bizzaro JD


----------



## Mr. Blonde (May 18, 2008)

What have we learned from this thread?

99% of mountain bikers would be cool with you rolling up, introducing yourself, turning a shoulder, and taking a piss. I think we all understand there's an awkward line you cross somewhere in that scenario but picturing this going down makes me laugh. Makes me want to try a social experiment. Walk up to random people and see how close to them you can piss without being called a jackwagon.


----------



## GFAthens (Sep 10, 2009)

Hahaha. Good Social experiment Idea. I think it would be somewhat rare for you to actually be called "Jackwagon". Hopefully not though, this thread has given us all a great new insult to use, and hopefully, it's use will spread.

Next time someone cuts me off in traffic when I'm on my bike, I WILL yell "Watch where you're going you JACKWAGON"


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## HikerToo (Jan 18, 2008)

Sorry, I disagree with many of you. Even though I've been peeing in the woods all my life ( almost 50 now),. It would be rude to pee in front of a stranger if they are not part of your group. If possible it's best to be more discreet and find your own space, there is alot of space and usually many trees around to help.


----------



## Mellow Yellow (Sep 5, 2003)

*From The Online Slang Dictionary*

Definition of jackwagon
jackwagon
noun

an insult. Likely coined specifically for the Geico commercial quoted in the following citation.

Therapist: Maybe we should chug on over to mamby-pamby land where maybe we can find some confidence for you, you jackwagon.

-- Geico commercial, 2010

See more words meaning: uncool person, jerk, ******* (general insults - list of)

by WalterGR, Sacramento, CA, USA, Jul 03 2010 (Edit definition)
A useless piece of equipment, usually military, used to refer to a mule-drawn freight wagon which had been pieced together from dicarded or substandard parts, and subject to frequent breakdowns. Jackwagons typically were good for only one or two uses, then abandoned or discarded along roadsides and in ditches, and were often re-cannibalized to create new jackwagons.

by The Sterd, Oct 21 2010 (Edit definition)


----------



## GrannyMSG (Mar 22, 2011)

One thing I learned in this thread: I can pee in the woods and not feel guility about it lol


----------



## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

Marko G said:


> your right, it disgusts me when humans urinate in forests. I mean, animals are one thing, but humans, c'mon...


OMG are you a tree hugger or what?


----------



## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

B-Mac said:


> Riding a trail locally last summer, I came upon the awful realization that a deuce was knocking (pounding violently, really) at the door.
> 
> Having no other options, Abandoned the bike and ran into the woods.
> 
> ...


I carry a bandana when XC skiing & biking. The main reason for this is to wipe sweat off my brow in warm weather & wipe my nose in cold.

I have, on accasion, pressed the bandana into "other service" in emergencies. Usually, 1/2of the bandana will suffice for such emergencies leaving the other half for the original intent or another "emergncy".


----------



## winchboy (May 2, 2006)

I learned what a jackwagom is.


----------



## mbmb65 (Jan 13, 2004)

XCSKIBUM said:


> I carry a bandana when XC skiing & biking. The main reason for this is to wipe sweat off my brow in warm weather & wipe my nose in cold.
> 
> I have, on accasion, pressed the bandana into "other service" in emergencies. Usually, 1/2of the bandana will suffice for such emergencies leaving the other half for the original intent or another "emergncy".


OMG! Are you a survivalist or what?


----------



## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

mbmb65 said:


> OMG! Are you a survivalist or what?


No, but but don't be frightened if you meet me on the trails in the Adirondacks in September.

I took this picture of my bike when I was taking a $HIT while bear hunting.

.


----------



## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

winchboy said:


> I learned what a jackwagom is.


Now all you need to learn is how to spell it


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## Itchiee (Sep 17, 2010)

Well, this bush looked like I should pee on it. Why are you peeing on it? 
This your bush? You have a special bond with this bush? 
You the king of the forest?


----------



## Marko G (Jun 24, 2009)

XCSKIBUM said:


> OMG are you a tree hugger or what?


i didnt think my sarcasm was THAT difficult to detect... however, ill try to make it a little more obvious next time:thumbsup:


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## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

Marko G said:


> i didnt think my sarcasm was THAT difficult to detect... however, ill try to make it a little more obvious next time:thumbsup:


Perhaps your response came too soon after the OP's hand wringinmg plea in the 1st post..

Now that I re-read your post, the sarchasm is more obvious but you pulled it off so well, it threw me.

Actually, that should be taken as a compliment as the best sarchasm should look to be a serious coment on the original subject.

Indeed, well done! :thumbsup: .


----------



## Mellow Yellow (Sep 5, 2003)

10,800 views to this point; this thread will live forever!

I'm going to try to go for a ride this weekend just so I can pee in the woods! LOL!


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## Bro (Dec 20, 2010)

Man, I gotta pee right now....

Think I would be allowed to pee on a tree at school too?


----------



## highdelll (Oct 3, 2008)

Mellow Yellow said:


> 10,800 views to this point; this thread will live forever!


If it's yellow, let it mellow


----------



## Bro (Dec 20, 2010)

highdelll said:


> If it's yellow, let it mellow


"If it's brown, flush it down."


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## Shark (Feb 4, 2006)

Last ride I peed in the woods at least 3 times. It was epic.


----------



## killerdj72 (Dec 7, 2009)

Come on... that extra liter off pee in you, can make you fell bad...
You got to release it...

If you are not in front of kids or women, then what the problem? 
Jealous maybe?


----------



## fourring (Feb 17, 2009)

My Wife told me to Pee on her Flowers so the Deer wouldnt eat them. So I did before my morning ride, with my back to the neighbors to be polite, I didnt have to go in the woods then, that would be wierd.


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## dubtrialsin (Nov 4, 2010)

a local trail system in south florida has issues with hikers on the bike trails where we cant go on hiking trails.
one ride i took a fairly new bypass of a sandy section close to a hiking trail.
i was rippin pretty good and felt my leg get wet. thinking it was fresh morning dew coverd palm fraum i reached down to wipe off the wetness and pulled back a glove covered in a 
freekin hikers morning coffee and donut squirts. morning doo it was. 
####ing gross.


----------



## annamagpie (Jun 5, 2009)

*Jackwagon wanna-be*

Went for a ride today with a jackwagon wanna-be. He waited til I was down the trail before he wizzed.


----------



## ilostmypassword (Dec 9, 2006)

I've met a few "toilet police" and WTF? I mean its biodegradable and nature. if nature calls.....nature calls! get over it!

when did our beloved sport become so full of metro sexual whingers? MAN UP!


----------



## highdelll (Oct 3, 2008)

Shark said:


> ... It was epic.


watch it buddy :nono:


----------



## dirt farmer (Mar 28, 2005)

If there's a lot of traffic on the trail where you ride/pee, then perhaps you're riding on the wrong trail, my friends.

Solitude is bliss. Solitude with a good p1ss is even more bliss.


----------



## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

Long live p1ss bliss. I mean that, I'm getting old.


----------



## steiny (Jul 8, 2004)

*JD, was this the guy?*

...


----------



## steiny (Jul 8, 2004)

*^^^ Oops, my bad*

Sorry, I misread the thread title. I thought you were talking about a japwagon driver.

Carry on.


----------



## PAmtbiker (Feb 2, 2005)

This is a truely brilliant post...

Long live trailside pissing!

Edit: ^^^ I want a car with those accessories...


----------



## nachomc (Apr 26, 2006)

I will be peeing in the forest tomorrow.

VIVE LE URINATION!


----------



## longhaultrucker (Jan 24, 2007)

JDaniels said:


> Dropping in on some smooth out and back single track this morning, I was tooling along when my wife texts me about results of my daughter's dr appt. (Flu has made its presence known this week in my household)
> 
> I pull off to the side to respond when a rider comes up behind me. He pulls off as well and we exchange pleasantries.
> 
> ...


What the heck do you do in a public restroom where there are like,half dozen or so urinals lined up...hold it in,hoping to get a "clean shot" of no one else in there?  I feel dumber for reading that (his post,the rest made me laugh...that all incompassing "I know,right?" laugh :thumbsup: )


----------



## Cobretti (May 23, 2005)

As long as the guy didn't turn around and show you his *penus*, I don't think there was anything to get too upset about. Myself, I'm what's known as *pee shy*, so I'll go off into the woods a little ways if others are around. This can help prevent being interrupted *mid-tinkle*, which I find to be awkward.


----------



## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

Cobretti said:


> As long as the guy didn't turn around and show you his *penus*, I don't think there was anything to get too upset about. Myself, I'm what's known as *pee shy*, so I'll go off into the woods a little ways if others are around. This can help prevent being interrupted *mid-tinkle*, which I find to be awkward.


First rodeo for actually writing the p word? Google unfamiliar subjects... just saying.


----------



## thorkild (Jul 22, 2008)

Awesome thread. One of my criteria for picking a place to live is that I can pee in the backyard in the day.


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## pippinr (Mar 22, 2011)

I'll never be a jackwagon. I get stage fright.:nonod:


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## dubtrialsin (Nov 4, 2010)

thorkild said:


> One of my criteria for picking a place to live is that I can pee in the backyard in the day.


haha
awesome.


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## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

thorkild said:


> One of my criteria for picking a place to live is that I can pee in the backyard in the day.


Me too.

Here's my back yard.


----------



## aaabronco (Mar 15, 2011)

Hey theirs always your Camelbak :thumbsup:


----------



## debtfree1 (Nov 3, 2010)

*Not a very good flounce*



JDaniels said:


> Sometimes, I wonder why I ever started posting here.
> 
> ******s on the trail and apparently here too.
> 
> Dont worry, I wont let the door hit me on the way out.


A proper flounce needs to be more dramatic.

Something more in the lines of, *Moderates please ban my tortured superior intellectual soul I can no longer in good conscious converse with these coarse hillbillies. *:madmax: :madmax: :madmax: :madmax:


----------



## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

debtfree1 said:


> A proper flounce needs to be more dramatic.
> 
> Something more in the lines of, *Moderates please ban my tortured superior intellectual soul I can no longer in good conscious converse with these coarse hillbillies. *:madmax: :madmax: :madmax: :madmax:


Please don't interrupt. Cobretti is already stage shy and after checking that avatar I am becoming faintly more intrigued by the minute......


----------



## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

XCSKIBUM said:


> Me too.
> 
> Here's my back yard.


Have you even started to think about the damage you and your pooch are doing there. Next thing you'll be riding your bike there and then, well then there goes the environment, you, you nature killer.


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## rebel1916 (Sep 16, 2006)

XCSKIBUM said:


> Me too.
> 
> Here's my back yard.


What river is that?


----------



## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

rebel1916 said:


> What river is that?


That's the St Regis River about 13 miles (by road) from it's confluence W/the St Lawrence River & the Canadian border.


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## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

Ridnparadise said:


> Have you even started to think about the damage you and your pooch are doing there. Next thing you'll be riding your bike there and then, well then there goes the environment, you, you nature killer.


We're nature killers alright. Max is a very able accomplice too!


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## rebel1916 (Sep 16, 2006)

XCSKIBUM said:


> That's the St Regis River about 13 miles (by road) from it's confluence W/the St Lawrence River & the Canadian border.


Please tell me you kayak!

That is a beautiful back yard. Looks like the hunting is pretty good up there in the north country too.


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## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

rebel1916 said:


> Please tell me you kayak!


Yes I kayak, but mine is the large (folding) expedition type. That river is not very navigable except when it is high in the spring. It never varies more than about 3' in that spot & in the summer, it is only about 6" deep there.






























I also have a "sloop" rig for it & it is a pretty capable sailboat albeit not that fast.
































rebel1916 said:


> That is a beautiful back yard. Looks like the hunting is pretty good up there in the north country too.


For about 5 years I tried to run a small scale licensed commercial shooting preserve on my place. I raised between 100 & 150 pheasants a year. I could not generate enough volume to make it viable.

The deer hunting on my 106 acres is pretty good though.

2004 - 4 point 4 1/2 years old 219# dressed weight









2005 - 8 point 3 1/2 years old 168# dressed weight









2009 - 8 point 3 1/2 years old 142# dressed weight









I live about 45 miles from the heart of the Northern Adirondacks. I ran across a large Black Bear while riding in that area last summer. I was finding so much bear poop on the trails, (yes a bear does $HIT in the woods) I took up bear hunting W/my mountain bike as an access vehicle. I never saw a bear while hunting, but I found some promising signs & will be giving it another try this September.

BTW, I was about 285# in those pix. I'm considerably less these days after putting 4000 miles on the bikes since last March.


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## rebel1916 (Sep 16, 2006)

Nice man, The DEC released the bear hunt numbers and the harvest was down considerably from previous years. That kind of surprised me, cause (at least down here) opening weekend was real warm, I would've thought they would be moving around big time. 
I hear there are some badass whitewater sections of the St. Regis up there...


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## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

rebel1916 said:


> I hear there are some badass whitewater sections of the St. Regis up there...


Yes, just below the town of St Regis Falls there are several miles of Class 4. I flyfish that area in the pocket water.

What part of the "Empire State" are you from?


----------



## rebel1916 (Sep 16, 2006)

Well I'm "from" Jersey, I live in Orange county, I was hunting in Roscoe, and I do most of my whitewater in West by God Virginia. I sure like it up by you, but it stays a mite cold for a little to much of the year...


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## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

rebel1916 said:


> Well I'm "from" Jersey, I live in Orange county, I was hunting in Roscoe, and I do most of my whitewater in West by God Virginia. I sure like it up by you, but it stays a mite cold for a little to much of the year...


It stays sloppy in the woods a long time too. Not muddy sloppy, but spongey, soggy peat bog sloppy.

Right now, I'm running the roads on my Specialized "Crosstrail Sport" hybrid.

I tried to take shortcut on a railroad bed trail yesterday & even that was a bit soft from the frost heaving the gravel & thawing. Those will be in shape in a few weeks & by mid May, the backwoods trails will be getting ridable.

Unfortunately, we lost the snow early too so the XC skiing went to he11 too soon.


----------



## D.I.S.C.O (Apr 15, 2009)

XCSKIBUM said:


> It stays sloppy in the woods a long time too. Not muddy sloppy, but spongey, soggy peat bog sloppy.
> 
> Right now, I'm running the raods on my Specialized "Crosstrail Sport" hybrid.
> 
> ...


I just drove by Moira today. I didn't there are bike trails in the area. Where do you ride?


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## NorKal (Jan 13, 2005)

rebel1916 said:


> What river is that?


It's the YELLOW river. Somehow this thread derailed into a hunting thread. We need to start talking about pee again people!


----------



## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

D.I.S.C.O said:


> I just drove by Moira today. I didn't there are bike trails in the area. Where do you ride?


I live about 10 miles from Moira.

There's an abondoned RR grade that runs almost continuously from Moira to Norwood. There are only 2 short sections where you have to detour. Just east of North Lawrence & again near Brasher Falls where the trestle over the St Regis River was removed. It's flat (as are all RR grades) but there are some water crossings & some washed out sections to add some interesting challenges.

It's probably about 3 hours riding the RR grade from Moira to Norwood. I'ts a pretty cool ride, I see a lot of wildlife as the RR grade trail runs through some pretty remote areas. LOTS of swamps & flows. Deer, wild turkeys, waterfowl, grouse, beavers, etc.

Also there are many trails in the Brasher State Forest as well as another RR grade that runs from Moira to Helena. The local snowmobile clubs & ATV riders keep the trails open. I XC ski a lot of the trails in the winter although I usually stay off the RR grades as they are too boring on skis.



NorKal said:


> It's the YELLOW river. Somehow this thread derailed into a hunting thread. We need to start talking about pee again people!


You can pee anywhere you want on the RR grades & trails up here on the tundra.


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## dirt farmer (Mar 28, 2005)

XCSKIBUM said:


> Me too.
> 
> Here's my back yard.


That river looks a bit "steamy", almost as if it's.... full... of... HOT.... PISS!


----------



## annamagpie (Jun 5, 2009)

NorKal said:


> It's the YELLOW river. Somehow this thread derailed into a hunting thread. We need to start talking about pee again people!


I quite agree


----------



## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

dirt farmer said:


> That river looks a bit "steamy", almost as if it's.... full... of... HOT.... PISS!


Yeah, I just drained my lizard into it. Man I really had to go after all those beers!

It was barely a trickle before I took a wizz.


----------



## blue72beetle (Aug 31, 2009)

The steam begins to rise
It slowly effervesces
Leaves are crinkling
Under sweet caresses

I cherish this moment of natural bliss
Nothing is missing
When I'm pissin' outside
Pissin' outside
You don't know what you're missin'
Till you start pissin' outside

Pissin' outside
Pissin' outside
You don't know what you're missin'
Till you start pissin' outside

You know a rock, a bush, a shrubbery, a tree
You can go anywhere you please
There are so many things that you can christen
So make it like your mission and just start

Pissin' outside
Pissin' outside
You don't know what you're missin'
Till you start pissin' outside

You know my favorite place is in the virgin snow
You find a fresh canvas and let it flow
Sign your name and watch it glisten
Unless you're in Alaska
Then your task is to go faster
Cause it freezes and you have to walk backwards while you're

Pissin' outside
Pissin' outside
You don't know what you're missin'
Till you start pissin' outside

Pissin' outside
Pissin' outside
You don't know what you're missin'
Till you start pissin' outside

Because the grass is always greener
When you water with your wiener outside

-Pissin' Outside, By Billy Jonas


----------



## highdelll (Oct 3, 2008)




----------



## Bro (Dec 20, 2010)

highdelll said:


>


Excuse my language, but what the friday does that have to do with anything?? :eekster:


----------



## highdelll (Oct 3, 2008)

erik1245 said:


> Excuse my language, but what the friday does that have to do with anything?? :eekster:


Sunday comes after Saturday...duh??


----------



## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

This thread is descending beyond the terminal velocity of piss off a big rock. Gentlemen and ladies, set some limits. Say :nono: to Friday :skep:


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## anthony.delorenzo (Aug 17, 2006)

It gives me great joy that this thread is still going strong. 

Here's a pic from last year: How's this for a place to drop a deuce while riding?


----------



## Mellow Yellow (Sep 5, 2003)

aaabronco said:


> Hey theirs always your Camelbak :thumbsup:


:thumbsup:  that's hysterical! LOL!!


----------



## Bro (Dec 20, 2010)

highdelll said:


> Sunday comes after Saturday...duck??


No it doesn't, it's six days before. Anyone can tell you that. You, sir, must be one of those darned crazy unicyclists I keep hearing about. rft:


----------



## Bro (Dec 20, 2010)

anthony.delorenzo said:


> It gives me great joy that this thread is still going strong.
> 
> Here's a pic from last year: How's this for a place to drop a deuce while riding?


Dude forgot his glasses. He ain't dropping a deuce, he's pondering his crazy, glasses-less existence.


----------



## annamagpie (Jun 5, 2009)

erik1245 said:


> Dude forgot his glasses. He ain't dropping a deuce, he's pondering his crazy, glasses-less existence.


this is just too funny!


----------



## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

erik1245 said:


> Dude forgot his glasses. He ain't dropping a deuce, he's pondering his crazy, glasses-less existence.


and just realized he shat his pants. A big view can do that to ya...


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## ozz (May 30, 2006)

Whenever I see another biker on the side of a trail I always pee on a nearby bush to mark my territory. Then I look at him and say "Are you a freakin' tree-hugger? IS THIS YOUR SPECIAL BUSH?!?....nice pubes...."

learned it from a movie.

 www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7a32nAPxBs


----------



## eat_dirt (May 26, 2008)

anthony.delorenzo said:


> How's this for a place to drop a deuce while riding?


scenic.


----------



## dubtrialsin (Nov 4, 2010)

deucin on a mtn top.
freekin awesome.


----------



## Shark (Feb 4, 2006)

ozz said:


> Whenever I see another biker on the side of a trail I always pee on a nearby bush to mark my territory. Then I look at him and say "Are you a freakin' tree-hugger? IS THIS YOUR SPECIAL BUSH?!?....nice pubes...."
> 
> learned it from a movie.
> 
> www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7a32nAPxBs


I think we know why the OP was so ticked off......this is exactly what happened!

haha...OPee.


----------



## dubtrialsin (Nov 4, 2010)

Shark said:


> haha...OPee.


screw the bushes i just went in my pants!
haha


----------



## bloodpuddle (Jun 15, 2007)

I just had to mark my territory on this thread too.


----------



## Kalamath (Mar 23, 2010)

OP didn't seem like he was freaked out, or any of the other things he was accused of. What's sad is all the people who feel the need to flame the guy instead of simply disagreeing with him. So he didn't like the fact someone dropped drawer 15 feet from him...big deal. It wouldn't have bothered me but we're not all the same. To each their own, and if JD didn't like it, that's OK too.

ps. That sloop rig for the kayak is seriously cool. I like! Versatile setup there.


----------



## Qatarbhoy (Jun 13, 2008)

> I pull off ...when a rider comes up behind me. He pulls off as well and we exchange pleasantries.


"exchanged pleasantries" = c0de...


----------



## s0ckeyeus (Jun 20, 2008)

Qatarbhoy said:


> "exchanged pleasantries" = c0de...


Lemme guess. 69er.


----------



## edubfromktown (Sep 7, 2010)

I came to a 3-way stop sign one day (as in broad daylight) and a guy was right next to the sign taking a leak facing toward the intersection like owned the place. I though hmmm, that's bawlz; calling him a jackwagon never crossed my mind.


----------



## Qatarbhoy (Jun 13, 2008)

I have shat in the desert. Very few trees to hide behind round here so your timing has to be just right.


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

Qatarbhoy said:


> I have shat in the desert. Very few trees to hide behind round here so your timing has to be just right.


Isn't that how aliens get ya?


----------



## Qatarbhoy (Jun 13, 2008)

> Isn't that how aliens get ya?


You'll have to draw me a diagram to show me how that works.

I was keen to take a slash in the desert today after all this discussion, but with temps over 90F I needed the hydration after all.


----------



## Pimpride (Nov 14, 2005)

*Code?*



Qatarbhoy said:


> "exchanged pleasantries" = c0de...


Thought that exchanging pleasantries was code for a "Man Hug"


----------



## dirt farmer (Mar 28, 2005)

I was in my local Safeway supermarket about two months ago, when this homeless derelict was walking up an aisle with his "dingle dangle" hanging out of his fly, whilst he was pissing. 

I screamed at the freak to stop, and then promptly alerted the customer service desk for a clean up on aisle two.

True story.


----------



## Blueliner (Apr 5, 2010)

Supermarket! Stay away from the bulk section.
Once I saw this mentally handicapped guy picking stuff out of the bins and eating it...you know grazing, a week later I saw the same guy peeing against a wall in the same area. It made me wonder if he knows enough to wash up after.


----------



## crazy03 (Mar 15, 2011)

One time when I was stationed in washington dc, me and 2 other marines had just finished a long night of drinking and on the ride home in a taxi I had the brilliant idea of just whipping it out a pissing on the floor in the back seat. Needless to say I got caught and the 3 of us got kicked out of the taxi. Fun times.


----------



## sean salach (Sep 15, 2007)

dirt farmer said:


> I was in my local Safeway supermarket about two months ago, when this homeless derelict was walking up an aisle with his "dingle dangle" hanging out of his fly, whilst he was pissing.
> 
> I screamed at the freak to stop, and then promptly alerted the customer service desk for a clean up on aisle two.
> 
> True story.


That guy rules!! I would have given him a high five, $20 and a case of Night Train.


----------



## rebel1916 (Sep 16, 2006)

crazy03 said:


> One time when I was stationed in washington dc, me and 2 other marines had just finished a long night of drinking and on the ride home in a taxi I had the brilliant idea of just whipping it out a pissing on the floor in the back seat. Needless to say I got caught and the 3 of us got kicked out of the taxi. Fun times.


Haha, I used to ride the bus with a kid who would regularly pee on it. It was hilarious.


----------



## crazy03 (Mar 15, 2011)

rebel1916 said:


> Haha, I used to ride the bus with a kid who would regularly pee on it. It was hilarious.


Yes, urinating in public is always a blast :cornut: . Hope you kept your distance from the little guy.


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## rebel1916 (Sep 16, 2006)

Oh yeah, stay upstream.


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## maxforce (Mar 8, 2011)

Peeing in the bushes and peeing in public are very different. If someone pees infront of someone else they are weird and should be forced into some psychiatric help.


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

maxforce said:


> Peeing in the bushes and peeing in public are very different. If someone pees infront of someone else they are weird and should be forced into some psychiatric help.


Well, you sound like the force to make it happen sunshine


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## Sheepo5669 (May 14, 2010)

8==0>~~~~~


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## s0ckeyeus (Jun 20, 2008)

Sheepo5669 said:


> 8==0>~~~~~


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## anthony.delorenzo (Aug 17, 2006)

300th post! This is the thread that just keeps on giving. 

Long live the Jackwagon!


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## Aaron D (Dec 14, 2005)




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## michaeltrent41 (Apr 29, 2011)

Sitting in my cubicle when its 86 degrees outside with few clowds is just a bit easier reading this thread ... 2 hours 7 minutes to go til Friday's ride and imbibe!!


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

If you move here it was Friday's ride yesterday! Not a Jackwagon in sight, but tracks were seen


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## bicycletech (Nov 2, 2005)

OMG what is the big deal, it not like he peed on your ride.


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## Yippee_Ki_YayMF (Jan 30, 2011)

I can't believe this thread is still going


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## dickeydoo (May 11, 2007)

XCSKIBUM said:


> Me too.
> 
> Here's my back yard.


Your dog is probably thinking to himself that you are a Jackwagon, and that you Mr. Human should be using your bathroom not his.


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## elcoolio1 (Mar 5, 2011)

Very eduacational thread, I have learned the proper distance for peeing, the definition of "jackwagon" and that pee is sterile. I had no idea about any of these before---lol
This is also the first post ever that I have read the whole thing


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

That's a Golden Shower Trophy for the OP then:rockon: :drumroll: :band: :band: :devil: :blush:


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## jkad (Dec 29, 2005)

this is a


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## rydbyk (Oct 13, 2009)

I don't haz pee you haz pee


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## brentos (May 19, 2006)

rebel1916 said:


> Anyone ever play Edward 40hands. It's when you duct tape a 40 oz to each hand and the first contestant to finish wins. Needless to say, this makes urination difficult. I have known a number of skirted women to remove their drawers, prior to taping their hands, in order to gain an unfair advantage by being able to relieve themselves mid game. I always just though it showed admirable competitive drive.


Yeah, played once. We were done in 20 minutes and at the grocery store (beers taped to hands) to buy another round before we had to pee.


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## Nadric (Apr 12, 2011)

Not all trails have a magical outhouse conveniently located, but mine does.


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## Bro (Dec 20, 2010)

Nadric said:


> Not all trails have a magical outhouse conveniently located, but mine does.


So does mine....


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## Aaron D (Dec 14, 2005)

click here :thumbsup:


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## wbmason55 (May 30, 2010)




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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

Nadric said:


> Not all trails have a magical outhouse conveniently located, but mine does.


Hey Nadric, you look like you do clockwise laps of your facilities. And maybe cut the corner once in a while?


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## rebel1916 (Sep 16, 2006)

brentos said:


> Yeah, played once. We were done in 20 minutes and at the grocery store (beers taped to hands) to buy another round before we had to pee.


Lies, gypsy lies!


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## longfinkillie (Jan 28, 2011)

daves4mtb said:


> I think it is safe to say that the original poster is not Bear Grylls.


That. Was. Epic:thumbsup:


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## XCSKIBUM (Mar 15, 2010)

longfinkillie said:


> That. Was. Epic:thumbsup:


Don't forget the poo juice!


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## longfinkillie (Jan 28, 2011)

That. Was. Septic:thumbsup:


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## savagemann (Jan 14, 2008)

At least he introduced himself BEFORE he pee'd.
I would have been kind of grossed out if he pulled up, pee'd, then tried to shake my hand.....= )


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## speedmetal (Feb 28, 2007)

Every time I go for a ride, I try to take a nice pee. There's nothing more relaxing than taking a leak in the wild. Of course, when there is a chance of hikers coming around, I try to move away from the trail and find a bush to water. And no, I don't care about shaking anybody's hand after, either! (maybe hand sanitizer is in order?)


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

Quick late PM ride today. 4 guys, one girl. One of us guys is pissing at a 3 way intersection 10m from the entrance to the trail system while the girl climbs over the style. Before we started! No-one even commented. Maybe everyone noticed, but no-one gave a flying%......


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## dwnhlldav (Feb 2, 2006)

When my dog was a puppy and would wake me up at 5 to go outside, just about the time I was opening the door, I'd have to go so I joined her outside. That's when I learned that people pee kills grass. There was a bald spot outside our front door that was all me. I miss living in the country.


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## speedmetal (Feb 28, 2007)

dwnhlldav said:


> When my dog was a puppy and would wake me up at 5 to go outside, just about the time I was opening the door, I'd have to go so I joined her outside. That's when I learned that people pee kills grass. There was a bald spot outside our front door that was all me. I miss living in the country.


LOL!:thumbsup:
Yep, peeing outside the house was a favorite of mine when I was younger. With a large, fenced yard, if I woke up at 3am and wanted to go take a leak, I could just open the door and wander around in the dark. Great memories! maybe that's why I became a night owl...


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## Adam_B. (Apr 7, 2011)

Hopefully for the OP's sake he never ends up in a country like Iraq. This chair was designed to sh*t in a bag called a wag bag so it could be burned. It was originally out in the open since we didn't have anything but our vehicles with us at the time. It's definately a wierd experience taking a dump in a bag out in the open desert.:blush:


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

Could you fit that wag bag rig in your Camelback for longer or multi-day rides?


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## Adam_B. (Apr 7, 2011)

Ridnparadise said:


> Could you fit that wag bag rig in your Camelback for longer or multi-day rides?


you could probably fit a couple. Its a package about the size of a sandwich sized ziplock bag. Inside the package is a ziplock bag, a smallish trashbag with what seemed like kitty litter in it, a little tp, and a wet wipe. You could actually probably get wag bags at a military surplus store. They seem to have everything else so I don't see why they wouldn't have them.


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## longfinkillie (Jan 28, 2011)

My ride today. Passion removed by *wag bag* rider

Best thread ever.


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## elcoolio1 (Mar 5, 2011)

lol I had a conversation with 3 guys at the trail head while they peed today. Its all good as long as they point away from my bike


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## Adam_B. (Apr 7, 2011)

daves4mtb said:


> Do you guys leave them on Iraqi doorsteps when you burn them? I


Nah, considering they wipe their a$$ with their bare hand and have raw sewage ditches right outside their houses I don't think that a neatly bagged turd would bother them much


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## ArmySlowRdr (Dec 19, 2003)

lol i was in comfort the year (04) I was in Kirkuk...but I had to take a cr*p in the desert at NTC once with no portajohn in site--nuttin but d convoy lol never after that in the army did i decide to drink several quarts of energy drink right before rolling for the field.



mtbnoobadam said:


> Nah, considering they wipe their a$$ with their bare hand and have raw sewage ditches right outside their houses I don't think that a neatly bagged turd would bother them much


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridnparadise 
Could you fit that wag bag rig in your Camelback for longer or multi-day rides?
you could probably fit a couple. Its a package about the size of a sandwich sized ziplock bag. Inside the package is a ziplock bag, a smallish trashbag with what seemed like kitty litter in it, a little tp, and a wet wipe. You could actually probably get wag bags at a military surplus store. They seem to have everything else so I don't see why they wouldn't have them.

I actually meant the whole, tent, seat, the works, but never mind that, I like the turn this thread has taken.


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## chiplikestoridehisbike (Aug 8, 2007)

The original poster may want to consider promoting this:

http://www.bumperdumper.com/bumper2.htm

If more people used this product fewer people would go on the trail. A bike attachment would be awesome though.


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## elcoolio1 (Mar 5, 2011)

You could rig up something with a plastic bag, duct tape and a coat hanger under your top tube. With a little skill it would work in transit.


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## bingemtbr (Apr 1, 2004)

Bear Grylls....good gawd...that was too much. Not as bad as the infamous 2 girls 1 cup thing but wow...

Slightly on / off topic; some unnamed "people-who-should-know-better" catheterize (bladder catheter) themselves for the Indy 500 every year. Big race fans; love to drink, and don't want to wait in line and miss the race. The catheterization "tradition" started 20+ years ago when they snuck a funnel and garden hose into the stands...the hose kinda went "wherever", comedy ensued as did ejection from the event. Btw, they are all physicians...buncha jackwagon Indy fans...


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## Mellow Yellow (Sep 5, 2003)

Many years of working in night clubs and bars has left me with countless sightings of men and women answering nature's call in parking lots in between cars. Most of them were not too descreet about it either.


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## TwoNin9r (Jan 26, 2011)




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## highdelll (Oct 3, 2008)

Mellow Yellow said:


> Many years of working in night clubs and bars has left me with countless sightings of men and women answering nature's call in parking lots in between cars. Most of them were not too descreet about it either.


...and you weren't a 'Hard-Ass' about it and that's how you got your Screen-Name :thumbsup:


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## pathogen (Aug 16, 2008)

*Cracking down on jackwagons!*

Looks like the OP's movement is gaining speed..



> Olympic Park visitors urged not to pee near trails
> AP
> 
> - 46 mins ago
> ...


source: http://old.news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110708/ap_on_fe_st/us_urine_mountain_goats


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## elcoolio1 (Mar 5, 2011)

Pee does things to people (and goats) changes them from your best friend to a growling monster that you hardly even recognize.

Don't do pee kids


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## electrik (Oct 22, 2009)

Mellow Yellow said:


> Many years of working in night clubs and bars has left me with countless sightings of men and women answering nature's call in parking lots in between cars. Most of them were not too descreet about it either.


Such an tragic story, you might have ptsd from all that urine based trauma.

Do you ever have flash-backs when nature calls?


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## ozz (May 30, 2006)

pathogen said:


> Quote:
> Olympic Park visitors urged not to pee near trails
> AP
> 
> ...


Sounds like one pissed off goat.


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## Blurr (Dec 7, 2009)

Visit SE Asia and you get to see people squating in gutters.

And in Britain in public is not a problem, shy is not an option.


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

Heard from someone who went to Expo in China last year that because of poor attendance numbers, each day the government would bus in people from the country to make Expo look busy. He said there would be buses 100 deep and 30 wide parked in a lot a little away from the exhibition. The transportees all wore trousers with big flaps and dropped whatever excrement they chose wherever they stood or squatted. Not pretty or fragrant and not on dirt, so never to be of use the the environment (or goats).


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## dynomight (Apr 25, 2011)

This epic thread is getting my first post. You guys are freaking hilarious. I wonder if the OP pees in the shower?


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## Justin Credible (May 10, 2011)

thread FAIL


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## errorunknown (Jul 9, 2011)

I don't see why would get upset unless it made your dong feel small


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## CodyMCP (Mar 24, 2011)

Justin Credible said:


> thread *WIN*


Fixed.


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## Bikebarian (Jun 12, 2011)

Pope **** in the woods..


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## Cobretti (May 23, 2005)

daves4mtb said:


> What is so bad about a little urine? I mean, heck, these days, the astronauts drink it!
> 
> http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/07/nasa-osmotic-water-bag/
> 
> urine! It's not just for Bear Grylls anymore!:thumbsup:


I'm trying to quit.


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## brianpalser (Sep 29, 2009)

Got out of the truck to get ready to ride and an SUV pulls up beside me and a dude opens the door, steps out, and starts pissing using the door to hide his junk. Funny part was he went to put his shoes on to ride and he had grabbed one roadie shoe and one mtb shoe. I got up in his face and said "SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR REMOVING MY PASSION YOU JACKWAGON".

I then drove off and cried a little.


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## Blurr (Dec 7, 2009)

brianpalser said:


> Got out of the truck to get ready to ride and an SUV pulls up beside me and a dude opens the door, steps out, and starts pissing using the door to hide his junk. Funny part was he went to put his shoes on to ride and he had grabbed one roadie shoe and one mtb shoe. I got up in his face and said "SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR REMOVING MY PASSION YOU JACKWAGON".
> 
> I then drove off and cried a little.


You got bullied in school didnt you?>


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## interlude27 (Aug 18, 2008)

Scott O said:


> ok, on a serious note, would this guy be considered a jackwagon rider....?
> 
> COLUMBUS, Ohio, March 20 (UPI) - An Ohio man's drinking problem has landed him in jail, but not for alcohol abuse, officials said. Alan David Passion, 59, allegedly has a fetish for drinking urine and he has been ordered to spend 30 days in jail and five years under house arrest for a recent bathroom-related crime, The Columbus Dispatch reported. "I'm not certain jail time is going to do the trick for him," said Columbus Assistant City Prosecutor Joseph E. Schmotsky. "It seems like what Mr. Passion really wants to do is just do the jail time and then get out and do it again." The judge also banned Patton from using public restrooms.


I shat bricks when I saw that! One man's piss is another man's...drink


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## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

interlude27 said:


> I shat bricks when I saw that! One man's piss is another man's...drink


Hope you shat those bricks off the trail and out of sight of God, man, and animal. :eekster:


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## interlude27 (Aug 18, 2008)

bsieb said:


> Hope you shat those bricks off the trail and out of sight of God, man, and animal. :eekster:


Well I'm pretty sure I was sitting at my computer when I first heard about that. (on a side note...can yall see my avatar?)


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## PretendGentleman (May 24, 2011)

Marko G said:


> your right, it disgusts me when humans urinate in forests. I mean, animals are one thing, but humans, c'mon...


it disgusts me to think about humans urinating in clean drinking water. putting the nitrogen back into the land makes a lot more sense.

Now too many people urinating/defecating into a landscape can have negative ecosystem effects, so one must be wise about where one returns nutrients to the soil.

check out the humanure handbook if you're interested in this line of reasoning! www.humanurehandbook.com


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## ozz (May 30, 2006)

According to Urban Dictionary the OP is the jackwagon:

1. jackwagon - a crybaby loser p*ssy-type who needs to grow some cajones and start acting like a man. 
_Billy: "Dude, I can't get Ronnie to play tackle football with us 'cause he's too afraid of getting hit."
Jimmy: "It doesn't surprise me, he's always been a freakin' jackwagon anyway."_

R. Lee Ermey gives us an example of proper usage:


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

_According to Urban Dictionary the OP is the jackwagon:

1. jackwagon - a crybaby loser p*ssy-type who needs to grow some cajones and start acting like a man. 
Billy: "Dude, I can't get Ronnie to play tackle football with us 'cause he's too afraid of getting hit."
Jimmy: "It doesn't surprise me, he's always been a freakin' jackwagon anyway."

R. Lee Ermey gives us an example of proper usage:_





Just what this thread needs most, good solid facts. I'm mopping tears.


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## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

PretendGentleman said:


> it disgusts me to think about humans urinating in clean drinking water. putting the nitrogen back into the land makes a lot more sense.
> 
> Now too many people urinating/defecating into a landscape can have negative ecosystem effects, so one must be wise about where one returns nutrients to the soil.
> 
> check out the humanure handbook if you're interested in this line of reasoning! www.humanurehandbook.com


Hey, I ordered that book a couple days ago... designing a twin bin composter system for a house I'm in the process of building. The Norwegians seem to be ahead of the curve in this respect, they have high rise apartment buildings that use composting toilet systems. Turning up our collective nose in disgust and letting someone else deal with human waste is short sighted and increasingly expensive. Indeed, many of the legacy systems in place (individual and municipal) are ticking time bombs, making large scale municipal RO water treatment necessary. It is still common for human waste to be discharged directly into bodies of water which supply drinking water downstream. Crapping in drinking water is a nasty habit, but as many posters to this thread have indicated, changing learned habits is difficult. One should not be proud of the inability to deal with human waste.


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

bsieb said:


> One should not be proud of the inability to deal with human waste.


Does that mean that because I shovel heaps of it every day at work, I am doing my part?


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## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

Ridnparadise said:


> Does that mean that because I shovel heaps of it every day at work, I am doing my part?


Of course... you should be very proud. :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::skep:


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## PretendGentleman (May 24, 2011)

bsieb said:


> Hey, I ordered that book a couple days ago... designing a twin bin composter system for a house I'm in the process of building. The Norwegians seem to be ahead of the curve in this respect, they have high rise apartment buildings that use composting toilet systems. Turning up our collective nose in disgust and letting someone else deal with human waste is short sighted and increasingly expensive. Indeed, many of the legacy systems in place (individual and municipal) are ticking time bombs, making large scale municipal RO water treatment necessary. It is still common for human waste to be discharged directly into bodies of water which supply drinking water downstream. Crapping in drinking water is a nasty habit, but as many posters to this thread have indicated, changing learned habits is difficult. One should not be proud of the inability to deal with human waste.


the book is amazing. I read it because I was interested in learning more about composting, but I hope to someday compost my own waste, though I'd have to be living somewhere with a decent bit of land.

Its frightening to consider the effects of waste treatment plant effluent on people downstream. With these types of problems, free markets fail to encourage optimal behavior. Just like how the guy who chooses to commute by bicycle rather than car provides more benefits to others than to himself, the one who manages her own waste does so out of a sense of duty/altruism or whatever it takes, but its not selfishness! To have this sort of behavior on a large scale would require some serious legislation that news pundits would grind to bits. Afterall, look at how people justify ending energy efficient light bulb programs.

hyperbolized quote from a right wing-ed texan: "I have every right to dump as much waste into America's or the World's water bodies and atmosphere as I please. This is a free country, gawdamit! That is of course unless you want to be free from my pollutants, heh heh heh."


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## Mellow Yellow (Sep 5, 2003)

*The OP...*



dynomight said:


> This epic thread is getting my first post. You guys are freaking hilarious. I wonder if the OP pees in the shower?


probably doesn't even pee!


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## SilkMoneyLove (Nov 1, 2010)

*actually*

"waste treatment plant effluent "
Modern day Wastewater Treatment is highly regulated and the effluent returned is higher quality (meaning, closer to drinking water) than the "freshwater" bodies they are returning it to. The industry is actually very interesting and the use of different microbes in different stages is basically the same as composting but on a much bigger scale. Also, a properly set up wastewater treatment facility uses very little electricity. The use of screw pumps to elevate the waste water and agitators in the pools along with the electronic monitoring and sampling system are the only electric users, unless they are using a UV system to kill bacterea, and then everything flows downhill through the plant (once separated from the solids). The solids are often sold as fertilizer.

Yes, I pee in the woods. I pee in the shower too, but only when I am drunk (for some reason). I clean the shower (and all bathrooms) in my house, so I get to do what I want. If my wife wants me to stop peeing in the shower (first she would have to catch me doing it) I would tell her that when she cleans the bathroom, I'll stop


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## longfinkillie (Jan 28, 2011)

^of all the men in the world, we thank thee SilkMonkeyLove. A rep point for saying the things we couldn't express ourselves:thumbsup:


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## SilkMoneyLove (Nov 1, 2010)

I suppose it could be said that I know my sh1t ;-)


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## speedmetal (Feb 28, 2007)

I just went for a ride up the canyon by the University of Utah, and when I was above everything (and everybody else), and since I ride alone, what better place to take a leak? 

And Yes, It Was Glorious!:thumbsup:


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## Eamonn Wright (May 15, 2011)

I haven't read all the responses. but I have a few questions for the OP

Was the "jackwagon" facing you and grinning?
Was he as stiff as your hardtail bike?
Was he shaking it off extremely quickly, so much so it made a "fapfapfap" type sound?

If none of the above apply, and your passion was lost, see your doctor for some testosterone therapy.
Good luck!


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

SilkMoneyLove said:


> "waste treatment plant effluent "
> 
> Yes, I pee in the woods. I pee in the shower too, but only when I am drunk (for some reason). I clean the shower (and all bathrooms) in my house, so I get to do what I want. If my wife wants me to stop peeing in the shower (first she would have to catch me doing it) I would tell her that when she cleans the bathroom, I'll stop


longfinkillie: If you think this is a benchmark for men, then you are a girl.


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## SilkMoneyLove (Nov 1, 2010)

Is it unmanly to clean a bathroom? I don't get it. Is your bathroom self cleaning?


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## PretendGentleman (May 24, 2011)

SilkMoneyLove said:


> "waste treatment plant effluent "
> Modern day Wastewater Treatment is highly regulated and the effluent returned is higher quality (meaning, closer to drinking water) than the "freshwater" bodies they are returning it to. The industry is actually very interesting and the use of different microbes in different stages is basically the same as composting but on a much bigger scale. Also, a properly set up wastewater treatment facility uses very little electricity. The use of screw pumps to elevate the waste water and agitators in the pools along with the electronic monitoring and sampling system are the only electric users, unless they are using a UV system to kill bacterea, and then everything flows downhill through the plant (once separated from the solids). The solids are often sold as fertilizer.


waste treatment plants vary quite a bit in terms of how clean the water is and how efficient they are. I'm not an expert, but I do study water quality issues, and no waste treatment plants considers all of the many chemicals that are potentially of concern to human health.

One issue, for example, poorly addressed in waste treatment plants is the fate of metabolized medicines. birth control related hormonally active metabolites are an example of a chemical group not addressed by many waste treatment plants. Clearly people are very concerned about long term exposure to detectable quantities of estrogen-like chemicals.

Another example of waste treatment plants coming up short has been highlighted by the disposal of hydro-fracking residuals. Waste treatment plants have been found to accept and process these wastes even though they don't even look at the "clean" water except for a relatively short list of contaminants.

Also if you live in a small town, your waste treatment plant has potentially very low standards, so good luck with what you drink and good luck with where your sewage goes after you flush it.

The comparison to "freshwater" is interesting, but with pharmaceutical metabolites showing up in large and relatively remote water bodies its clear we don't have much water that can be called fresh without the quotation marks. How our institutions define clean illustrates the extent to which we have no idea which chemicals are important to avoid or measure and how poor our understanding is of the fate of any water.

Finally, the energy efficiency of waste-water treatment plants is a difficult question to look at, as one must look at the entire water system's energy budget(and energy efficiency is irrelevant to human welfare in complete markets). If by flushing with drinking water we dramatically increase our water use, requiring enormous investments in infrastructure, we can properly consider those costs only by including energy used in construction, transportation and treatment before use and transportation and treatment after use. Fortunately rainfall allows for the entire system to be downhill(theoretically), but I know of at least one town that uses pumps to keep their reservoir full in low rain fall years. We must also consider the opportunity costs of water and the system, for example, water flowing downhill for waste transport could have instead generated electricity, provided recreation, and supported ecosystems that benefit humans.


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## Mellow Yellow (Sep 5, 2003)

Oh the many weird turns this thread has taken; LOL!


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## spsoon (Jul 28, 2008)

Funny thread 

One time I was driving back into town after a ride and I had to pee. Thought I could make it home but of course ran into a big traffic jam. Like a jackwagon, I had to get out of the car and pee next to the stopped traffic. I was just glad I didn't get arrested :thumbsup:


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## electrik (Oct 22, 2009)

Check out these jackwagons...









Probably getting it allover their handlebars!


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## Anonymous (Mar 3, 2005)

Let me get this straight. Your wife took your daughter to the doctor for the _FLU_????

And you wonder why insurance, and health care costs are high. :madman:


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## SilkMoneyLove (Nov 1, 2010)

> One issue, for example, poorly addressed in waste treatment plants is the fate of metabolized medicines...


All very good points to think about. These are much larger issues than just how we do water treatment. Any solutions that you can think of that would work on a large scale and be economically viable? We have these legacy systems in place and while they can be updated, there is should be some "clean slate" thinking on the problems we face now and problems we will face with a growing and aging population.

Anonymous - Depending on what daycare you are in, if your child is sick with certain symptoms, you have to take them to the doctor before they will let you drop them back off. So, yes, insurance and health care costs are out of control because the system is set up that way. We even had to get my daughter's dentist to sign a form before she could start Kindergarten in our school district. So, I have to jump through hoops, meanwhile the religious nutjobs can just claim it is against their religion and sign their kids up. What a system huh?

BTW and back on topic, my daughter pees in the woods too ;-)


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## Blurr (Dec 7, 2009)

PretendGentleman said:


> waste treatment plants vary quite a bit in terms of how clean the water is and how efficient they are. I'm not an expert, but I do study water quality issues, and no waste treatment plants considers all of the many chemicals that are potentially of concern to human health.
> 
> One issue, for example, poorly addressed in waste treatment plants is the fate of metabolized medicines. birth control related hormonally active metabolites are an example of a chemical group not addressed by many waste treatment plants. Clearly people are very concerned about long term exposure to detectable quantities of estrogen-like chemicals.
> 
> ...


Good post, happens I am a small portion of that industry, the problems we are creating for ourselves via far to medications and even from estrogen is going to haunt us dearly in the not so distant future.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6436617/ns/nightly_news/t/male-fish-becoming-female/

http://www.rense.com/general86/estro.htm

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=estrogen-in-waterways



> Let me get this straight. Your wife took your daughter to the doctor for the FLU????
> 
> And you wonder why insurance, and health care costs are high


The absolute ignorance of people in relation to what the medical profession can or cannot do is astounding to say the least. It is interesting that people do not question airport security yet 180,000 people are killed each year via medical mistakes, the equivilent of two airliners going down each day, go figure.


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## elcoolio1 (Mar 5, 2011)

I wish the OP would come back just for one more post, to say what he thinks about these waste managment systems


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## SilkMoneyLove (Nov 1, 2010)

*Hey*

We aren't the only ones to talk about this sh1t.

A Human-Waste Gold Mine: Bill Gates Looks to Reinvent the Toilet

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,2082509,00.html


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## Blueliner (Apr 5, 2010)

SilkMoneyLove said:


> Is it unmanly to clean a bathroom? I don't get it. Is your bathroom self cleaning?


Definately not...

I clean ours (all three)
Clean out cat litter box
Pick up man sized dog turds in back yard and on walks (dog is deceased now)

Make emergency tampon runs for wife at 10pm to walmart....without buying anything else.

I will show you how unmanly I am by peeing where ever necessary, whenever necessary with extreme prejudice.

Keep the faith Silkmoneylove

Blueliner


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## BeanMan (Jul 6, 2006)

There's no substitute for living at the headwaters. Everyone else is just downstream no matter how good their water treatment plant is. 

In random well water testing that I have participated in one of the most commonly found chemicals, or metabolites of chemicals, is Triclosan. Triclosan is the active ingredient in antimcrobial soaps. So, my passion is removed by Jackwagon germophobes helping to create superbugs.


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## LCdaveH (Jan 5, 2005)

SilkMoneyLove said:


> We aren't the only ones to talk about this sh1t.
> 
> A Human-Waste Gold Mine: Bill Gates Looks to Reinvent the Toilet
> 
> http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,2082509,00.html


If one is a vegan, can he use his poo like cow manure out in the yard?

..


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## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

LCdaveH said:


> If one is a vegan, can he use his poo like cow manure out in the yard?
> 
> ..


Best to compost it first, that sterilizes it. You can still pass on diseases by contact with raw humanure. Same is true of cow manure, by the way, you don't put it on your field or garden raw unless you are going to till it into the soil prior to planting.


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## s0ckeyeus (Jun 20, 2008)

This past weekend I went camping at some walk-in sites. Two families had apparently brought their own port-a-potties. I thought that was a bit ridiculous. I'd rather piss in the woods.


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## xycarp (Apr 9, 2011)

I am really saddened by the ridiculous replies from the community to the original posters complaint. I can see why seeing some "jackwaggon" taking a wiz in the trail would upset her. I don't get why everyone is acting like it's no big deal.


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## Sean831 (May 22, 2011)

are you kidding? did he proceed to pee on your bike and you in the process, or are you just that uptight?

although i do agree, its a little rude


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## Ridnparadise (Dec 14, 2007)

xycarp said:


> I am really saddened by the ridiculous replies from the community to the original posters complaint. I can see why seeing some "jackwaggon" taking a wiz in the trail would upset her. I don't get why everyone is acting like it's no big deal.


This is a joke yes? You think "HER" wife was on the phone to her? By the way, isn't this the era of equality. Should it matter if he is a girl? :idea: Oh wait, that's the point of the entire thread. My bad :ciappa:


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## dead_dog_canyon (Sep 8, 2010)

bsieb said:


> Best to compost it first, that sterilizes it. You can still pass on diseases by contact with raw humanure.
> Same is true of cow manure, by the way, you don't put it on your field or garden raw unless you are going to till it into the soil prior to planting.


Not around here. You put the manure in a spreader fresh from the cows and fling away.

The spreaders look like this:


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## PretendGentleman (May 24, 2011)

SilkMoneyLove said:


> All very good points to think about. These are much larger issues than just how we do water treatment. Any solutions that you can think of that would work on a large scale and be economically viable? We have these legacy systems in place and while they can be updated, there is should be some "clean slate" thinking on the problems we face now and problems we will face with a growing and aging population.


A very simple solution to wasteful water use would be to raise the price of water. Water pricing is totally crazy and often poorly thought out. water pricing varies tremendously depending on where you live. Some places use flat rate, some increasing rate, some decreasing. Essentially none of the prices communicate water scarcity, consequently private decision making does not lead to an efficient quantity of water use.

The major concern with raising the price of water is that low-income households will have trouble paying for the more expensive water. A solution is to give them a refund at the beginning of the year to reflect their increased expenses from the higher priced water. If they choose to reduce consumption, the refund is effectively a subsidy and they get to use it to buy other stuff. If they don't reduce consumption, then they're no worse off than before the price hike.

unfortunately its difficult to know how people respond to price changes or how much water use is the correct amount.


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## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

dead_dog_canyon said:


> Not around here. You put the manure in a spreader fresh from the cows and fling away.
> 
> The spreaders look like this:


I've spread a lot of manure in my farm days, but never on growing crops. What crops are you spreading manure on while they are growing? Bet you destroy a lot of it riding through it with a tractor and manure spreader. Your terminology suggests you are not a farmer... :skep:


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## dead_dog_canyon (Sep 8, 2010)

bsieb said:


> I've spread a lot of manure in my farm days, but never on growing crops. What crops are you spreading manure on while they are growing? Bet you destroy a lot of it riding through it with a tractor and manure spreader. Your terminology suggests you are not a farmer... :skep:


Why has the internet gotten to the point where you have to 'prove' everything&#8230;..

Farmer - nope - mech engineer working in aerospace&#8230;
I do live on 12 acres in N. NV with surface water rights since 87'. (River water used for flood irrigation.) Hobby rancher I guess.....

There are no "crops" here, only hay&#8230; something like 30,000 acers of hay in the valley. We have a 90 day frost-to-frost growing season. They do grow seed garlic and onions in the alfalfa fields when it is time to rotate them. Good money if they pick your field. The root crops pull the nitrogen from the alfalfa out.

Internet photos of the valley:


























I have two fields: 
One is grass / alfalfa for hay the other is pretty much straight grass grazing. I don't own any equipment. Too small. There are two ranches near me that the have 400 plus acres operations and they do 'custom farming'. 1 has dairy cows, IE: source of manure. I simply water the fields and leave the seed drilling, manure spreading, cutting, baling, etc, to one of them. I do have a turd drag to break up the piles from my grazers in the spring. It is the standard configuration for around here - a piece of pipe with some chain link fence and chains that you pull around. I get on average 40 tons of hay out the deal and it doesn't even pay the property taxes but I have a nice big green lawn for someone living in a high desert&#8230;










So&#8230; You grow crops?


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## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

dead_dog_canyon said:


> So&#8230; You grow crops?


Nope. I was born on a mid-western family farm though, and worked as farm labor for many years. A couple dozen dairy cows, a small feedlot for the steers, couple dozen pigs, chickens, grew corn, soybeans, alfalfa. I have cleaned a lot of stalls, spread a lot of shlt, milked a lot of cows, but would never go back... not even as a hobby farmer. I love the mountains of northwestern New Mexico now, don't even have a garden unless you count a meadow of wildflowers in my backyard. 

Nice looking spread, your golf course looks killer. You wouldn't seriously spread fresh manure on that lush pasture while your horse was using it would you?


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## mojojojoaf (Sep 9, 2008)

Is it true Poison Oak and Poison Ivy oils can run back up your pee stream? I mean it seems plausible, no really, think about it.


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## bsieb (Aug 23, 2003)

mojojojoaf said:


> Is it true Poison Oak and Poison Ivy oils can run back up your pee stream? I mean it seems plausible, no really, think about it.


Thanks for opening the window...  (whew)


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## GatorB (Jan 9, 2010)

I had an encounter with a Jackwagon Sunday morning. I came flying around a corner and there was a rider sitting in the middle of the trail with his head down looking at his ipod. Red bandana tied up like 2pak for a helmet, new tattoos and dressed like he shops a Pacsun. I had to break hard and almost lost it. I yelled "hey, rider, hey". I could hear his music so I know he could not here me so I bumped his back tire hard. I guess it startled and pissed him off because at the trail head he gave me a little attitude and he yelled "whoooooooo" as close as he could to my head as he passed by. Then he went over opened up all the doors on his van, loaded his bike up and sat there listing to death metal so loud we had to raise our voices just to talk to each other. He sat there for about 15 minutes then left. 
:madman: You could tell he was just ginormous Jackwagon.


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## elcoolio1 (Mar 5, 2011)

I was riding at 3300 m above sea level (about 11000 feet) yesterday. Part of avoiding altitude sickness is that you have to drink large amounts of water, usually about 3 liters a day if you are just sitting around. This means that someone actually riding all day need 4 or 5 liters. Guess what happens when people drink that much? MASSIVE P1SSING!!! Between the 15 of us we probably managed to sustain the surrounding forest's H2O needs for the rest of the summer


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## bamwa (Mar 15, 2010)

that sounds like an ol fashioned jack wagon train! circle up cowpokes, here comes the ******!


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## lucifer1306217 (Jul 29, 2011)

Nothing wrong with peeing in the forest, turn your back if suitable cover isn't available and maintain a descrete distance. Just don't blast the dreaded twin stream and get your own shoe, not that I ever have....


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## Yippee_Ki_YayMF (Jan 30, 2011)

lucifer1306217 said:


> Nothing wrong with peeing in the forest, turn your back if suitable cover isn't available and maintain a descrete distance. Just don't blast the dreaded twin stream and get your own shoe, not that I ever have....


Welcome to the forums........... and what a thread to start on!!


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## Dallasrebar (Jul 30, 2011)

people are people. hahahh


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## Berkeley Mike (Jan 13, 2004)

Is there a Cliff's Notes version of this thread?


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## bad_andy (Apr 17, 2009)

Had to share.
This is a sandwich (surprisingly good) at the best sandwich shop in Golden, CO - D'Deli.










Can't really read the warning line at the bottom, but it warns that the sandwich is NOT intended for mamby pambies.


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## washedup (Jan 2, 2006)

Had to visit this thread again as its planting season and there's some great info here.


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## Sheepo5669 (May 14, 2010)

So glad this thread was revived. Thanks to this thread, I use the term "Jackwagon" to this day.


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## jcd46 (Jul 25, 2012)

Great laughs at the beginning of the thread! It actually made my day!


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## Fremenrider (Mar 22, 2013)

The best thing about this thread is the word Jackwaggon-I love it! Right up there with Asshat. I had a 3 hour ride yesterday & i just couldn't get that word out of my head.


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## Repack Rider (Oct 22, 2005)

Reminds me of my first day of Army Basic Training, February 16, 1966. In the barracks latrine there were eight commodes in a row, two feet apart, no dividers. You could all hold hands if you wanted. Several expressed the sentiment that a dump under those conditions was impossible. The port wouldn't open with everybody looking.

Staff Sergeant James T. Curry sez, "Give it a couple of days, you might be surprised what you can learn (or unlearn)."

These eight commodes serviced about fifty guys, so people used them at different times. Two weeks into training, it's part of the social structure, the same guys, on the same commodes, every morning about the same time, mostly talking about the same stuff, everyone smoking a cigarette.

That's why they called it the Regular Army.

sssss...RIMSHOT


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## SlowPokePete (Mar 27, 2006)

Fremenrider said:


> The best thing about this thread is the word Jackwaggon


Kinda makes me laugh, too...

SPP


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## SlowPokePete (Mar 27, 2006)

Repack Rider said:


> Reminds me of my first day of Army Basic Training, February 16, 1966. In the barracks latrine there were eight commodes in a row, two feet apart, no dividers. You could all hold hands if you wanted. Several expressed the sentiment that a dump under those conditions was impossible. The port wouldn't open with everybody looking.
> 
> Staff Sergeant James T. Curry sez, "Give it a couple of days, you might be surprised what you can learn (or unlearn)."
> 
> ...


That kinda made me laugh, too...

SPP


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## Motorider228 (Mar 30, 2013)

Repack Rider said:


> Staff Sergeant James T. Curry sez, "Give it a couple of days, you might be surprised what you can learn (or unlearn)."


HA! Kind of like the guys that take care of their "natural urges" while living in a tent down range with 15+ other guys in the same tent.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk


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