# Princess – how to deal?



## chandosherald (Mar 26, 2004)

Ok I understand that people bike for all sorts of reasons, but I really have a problem with one type of female rider. And need some advice on how to deal with her. I ride primarily with guys, including my boyfriend, but recently into our little crew has been introduced a female rider of the most annoying variety, the trail hussy. She plays princess, getting the guys to fix her flats, adjust the height of her seat etc, and fishes for compliments by insisting that she is terrible (when she is in fact quite strong, oh and she knows how to fix a flat I’ve seen her do it). 

Any male rider (or guy in a bike shop), that is not at that very moment having sex with his wife/girlfriend, she latches onto like stink on a monkey. I can’t stand riding with her cause she is one of those women who does not want to be your friend unless you have an endless supply of single guy friends, but all the guys in my crew wanna know why I don’t like her. When I tell them, they think I’m nuts. Ladies, am I nuts? Do any of you know they type of female rider I speak of? I can understand being single and looking for a guy who also likes to ride, but this woman is single handedly responsible for the view that chicks know nothing about bikes. Ugh!


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## Ghisallo (Feb 8, 2004)

*Leave her in your dust...*

...metaphorically speaking.

From what I've heard from other guys and read around here, they dig a girl like you who can handle herself well on the trail. So there will probably be a time when princess may wear out her welcome. On the other hand, perhaps the stroke of the male ego is what these guys appreciate.

Either way, she's probably not worth the effort since there's little you can do about it. Letting the guys know you hate her may even add fuel to the flame and they may assume jealousy.

Hang in there, laugh it off and kick some arse.


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## slowride (Jan 13, 2004)

I know exactly what you mean, and I know exactly how to deal with it.

Please send me her phone number so I can help!


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## Duckman (Jan 12, 2004)

LOL! 

Um...I was thinking along those same lines myself. DAMN ME!


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## mtb_biker (Jan 27, 2004)

they'll eventually grow tired of her aimless fliritng if it goes nowhere  then you'll be back in the spotlight :-D


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## kept man (Jan 13, 2004)

*yuck.*

my wife's close friend and training partner - who i do like for the most part, don't get me wrong - is a princess of said variety. well - close to that, anyway: she rarely comes trail riding with us because she isn't very good ... and she's one of those people who sulks and won't try stuff unless she's sufficiently 'competitive' at it. and then she princess-es it up.

of course, it shows up everywhere; when going dancing, she always sees what my wife is wearing, and then takes it up a notch. if people are tired and grouchy after a long day, she's especially tired and grouchy. what really bothers me is that despite her princessy-ness, she is entirely impatient and intolerant of other people genuinely needing a minute, or a helping hand.

and there are always guys who go for this, and rush to help, etc.. and i think there always will be, as much as that saddens me. but, hopefully there will always be other guys who take offense to the idea that we're supposed to go for that nonsense; who are bothered by the notion that just because some lowest-common-denominator-playing-to-machismo sexuality is marketed our way, we're supposed to rush in all manly and help, or buy that product, or whatever; who take one look at the damsel in distress and say: "that's ridiculous. i'm out here to ride - not be a low-grade hero. change your own damn tire while we finish this loop, then we'll meet up."

sorry if my frustrations are extreme this evening. my wife has been sick all week before her first masters swim meet this weekend, and guess who's suddenly feeling "even sicker" ...?


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## Berkeley Mike (Jan 13, 2004)

*A new kid in town*

I'm not sure what's going on but you are defintley not happy about it. Whether it is a matter of principle or this event just got up[ you nose doesn't really matter. Clearly you are feeling displaced.
It is an awkward thing to be charmed by something new. There is a freshness there which brings out hope and sappiness. It looks like the guys are feeling needed and when one is capable of helping someone who needs help it feels good.
Time will tell if feeling needed turns into feeling used and you can come to your conclusions then. She may fall off the back (taking one of your males hostage) , or learn to be a real mtb'er. Meanwhile try to see this as part of the seasoning of your group. Riding buddies are a wonderful thing to have in your life; even if they do seem foolish sometimes.


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## Van_Island_Rider (Mar 22, 2004)

wow! sounds like someone's jealous, I think maybe your mad that someone new has come in and now you are worried she is taking your spot as the "girl" of the group.


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## DrGlen51 (Mar 4, 2004)

I'm guessing not all the guys take part in helping her and some may only be helping because their buddy stopped and they just want to get everyone going again. As a guy, I hate women like that, but I have some friends that married princesses, they always have headaches or need something done, I don't need it.

The next time she gets a flat, make a plan, tell the guys that want to help they can meet you up the trail, then take the long loop and meet them where the short loop meets it or something. I bet there is a guy or two that comes with you.



chandosherald said:


> Ok I understand that people bike for all sorts of reasons, but I really have a problem with one type of female rider. And need some advice on how to deal with her. I ride primarily with guys, including my boyfriend, but recently into our little crew has been introduced a female rider of the most annoying variety, the trail hussy. She plays princess, getting the guys to fix her flats, adjust the height of her seat etc, and fishes for compliments by insisting that she is terrible (when she is in fact quite strong, oh and she knows how to fix a flat I've seen her do it).
> 
> Any male rider (or guy in a bike shop), that is not at that very moment having sex with his wife/girlfriend, she latches onto like stink on a monkey. I can't stand riding with her cause she is one of those women who does not want to be your friend unless you have an endless supply of single guy friends, but all the guys in my crew wanna know why I don't like her. When I tell them, they think I'm nuts. Ladies, am I nuts? Do any of you know they type of female rider I speak of? I can understand being single and looking for a guy who also likes to ride, but this woman is single handedly responsible for the view that chicks know nothing about bikes. Ugh!


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## Van_Island_Rider (Mar 22, 2004)

DrGlen51 said:


> The next time she gets a flat, make a plan, tell the guys that want to help they can meet you up the trail, then take the long loop and meet them where the short loop meets it or something. I bet there is a guy or two that comes with you.


that's a good idea but there is that chance that their won't be anyone who wants to leave them behind, then she looks like a retard standing there after saying she's going to keep going, or worse she ends up riding by herself while the rest help out the "princess".


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## Impy (Jan 6, 2004)

chandosherald said:


> Ok I understand that people bike for all sorts of reasons, but I really have a problem with one type of female rider.. She plays princess, getting the guys to fix her flats, adjust the height of her seat etc, and fishes for compliments by insisting that she is terrible (when she is in fact quite strong, oh and she knows how to fix a flat I've seen her do it).


I don't know if this drives me any more nutz than guys who "assume" that I need advice on my bike. I personally am sick of guys trying to "be helpful" and come up and adjust things WITHOUT my consent. I have had not less than 5 different guys readjust my quick release (in 5 different positions) WITHOUT asking me if they can, and just give me advice on why their way is the "right" way. Same with advice on tires, cleat position, seat height, stem length, etc. *Grr*. I built up my own bike and dont need advice, and if I do , I will ask my boyfriend who is an awesome mechanic (and doesn't assume I need "help").

Both are annoying.

On a semi related note, once I was on a ride with this chick who had a branch _lightly_ brush her helmet during some singletrack. At the end she took off here helmet and made her friend check her for ticks. (tics, heh). She woudn't shut up about it and was being very fussy and "princessy" about it. "OHMAGAWD OHMAGAWD is there a tick? QUick look! Is there a tick in my hair? OHMAGWD!! I have to check my helmet! OHMAGAWD!" and so on for at least 5 minutes. Gah.


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## JustDoIt (Feb 2, 2004)

Berkeley Mike said:


> I'm not sure what's going on but...Clearly you are feeling displaced.


Yo, Berkeley Mike! This is non-technical. You wouldn't understand 

I've never ridden with women like you describe, Chandosherald. But, I believe you when you say they exist. I can imagine having to fight back a gag reflex every time you witness her princessy behavior... and that of the guys who think only with their little heads... or not at all (i.e. sort of what I hear KeptMan saying).

I like what Ghisallo said.

And slowride made me laugh.


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## JustDoIt (Feb 2, 2004)

Impy said:


> I don't know if this drives me any more nutz than guys who "assume" that I need advice on my bike.


I was on a "mixed ride" once where this guy from the beginning of the ride kept whining about the amount of air in my back tire. I had ridden my bike enough, and had even ridden on this trail that he had never been on. I believed my tire was fine. Yet, he made us all stop until I put more air in my tire. While I was adding a teeny bit of air to my tire, he told me how selfish it would be of me if I got a flat because of low pressure and made everyone wait on me. I held it in... saved it for the climb 

Later, the woman that had invited a couple of these guys, asked me if I'd be interested in riding with such nice guys again. I said no. I put them in the "guys I never want to ride with again" box.


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## Ghisallo (Feb 8, 2004)

"OHMAGAWD OHMAGAWD is there a tick?"

I burst out laughing at this story.

As for unsolicited advice. I only get that when I ride with my older brother.


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## Drewdane (Dec 19, 2003)

*Here's what to do:*

Just start calling her "Princess" on your rides, especially when the guys start jostling for a chance to fix something you know she could handle by herself.

For example:

"Snap to it boys, Princess needs her seat angle changed!"


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## pfunk (Jan 12, 2004)

*hey now, ticks are serious business*

http://forums.mtbr.com/showthread.php?t=455&highlight=tick



Impy said:


> On a semi related note, once I was on a ride with this chick who had a branch _lightly_ brush her helmet during some singletrack. At the end she took off here helmet and made her friend check her for ticks. (tics, heh). She woudn't shut up about it and was being very fussy and "princessy" about it. "OHMAGAWD OHMAGAWD is there a tick? QUick look! Is there a tick in my hair? OHMAGWD!! I have to check my helmet! OHMAGAWD!" and so on for at least 5 minutes. Gah.


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## verslowrdr (Mar 22, 2004)

I vote for taking princess and entourage on a truely epoch ride. I'm talking the brushwacking, "I think that's north so we're still heading in the right direction" kinda thing.

If she's for real she'll be right with it... if not the guys will NEVER invite her back after 5 hours of whining.


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## DrGlen51 (Mar 4, 2004)

*No Problem if you phrase the question well*

People don't mind if you phrase your question as an option. Maybe something like: "Hey, while you guys change the flat does anyone want to ride ahead and schedule a meeting with these guys up the trail somewhere?" If there are no takers drop it, but I bet there are other people with the same thoughts as her and and think they are the only ones thinking the princess is drag.



Van_Island_Rider said:


> that's a good idea but there is that chance that their won't be anyone who wants to leave them behind, then she looks like a retard standing there after saying she's going to keep going, or worse she ends up riding by herself while the rest help out the "princess".


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## Berkeley Mike (Jan 13, 2004)

JustDoIt said:


> Yo, Berkeley Mike! This is non-technical. You wouldn't understand
> 
> Oh my. How clueless of me and lucid of you.


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## connie (Mar 16, 2004)

Here's my solution - next time she's standing there fishing for a guy to fix her flat, adjust her seat, or whatever, jump right in there and cheerfully say "Hey, let me show you how to do that!" Maybe you'll end up fixing her flat, but hopefully it'll shame her into doing it herself next time and break the cycle. (Or at least it should be more blatantly obvious to the guys that she's capable of doing it herself...)

There's probably not much else you can do. Complaining will only get you ridiculous accusations of being jealous, and there will always be guys who are suckers for the helpless girl routine.


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## JustDoIt (Feb 2, 2004)

Berkeley Mike said:


> Oh my. How clueless of me and lucid of you.


I wouldn't say I'm lucid, nor that you're clueless! I was just feeling ornery. Plus, those guys telling her she's just jealous or she'll be back on top soon made me want to... ignore them.

After reading Impy's comment and doing my own rant on unsolicited advice... like I said, I was feeling ornery yesterday... I read Ghisallo's comment about her older brother. Got me thinking...

I have 3 younger brothers and 3 younger sisters. A couple years ago one of them blasted me big time on giving her unsolicited advice. I was shocked. I tried to pay attention to how I interacted with my other sibs. I swear 3 of them contact me expecting to hear me tell them what I think they should do. If I don't give the advice freely, they prompt me for it.

One of my biking buddies... his girlfriend was complaining to me about how she hates the way he's always telling her what she should or shouldn't do. Hmm... I told her that I KNOW I'm always telling HIM what I think he should do!! And that I know he does the same to me. Of course, I don't always do what he says. But, I do expect to hear him tell me his opinion in that fashion. And it never seems to bother me. Funny, how upset I got with that "stranger" biking with us!

Guess some people are more sensitive to it. Maybe it depends on who it's coming from or time of day or...


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## Impy (Jan 6, 2004)

pfunk said:


> http://forums.mtbr.com/showthread.php?t=455&highlight=tick


Hahah that's a funny story! "tickanoid"


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## pimpbot (Dec 31, 2003)

*From my perspective...*

... it seems that you're right, she's wearing band-aids to get attention.

OTOH, don't feel that you need to own her issues. You could undermine her lameness by giving her a friendly, 'Aw, you can do that!', or 'you got it, pedal pedal pedal!'

I keep an innnertube handy with a jingle-bell inside for folks like this. She gets a flat, doesn't carry a tube, I'll hand her my jingle-bell innertube to remind her to come prepared next time. Jinga-jinga-jinga!

And from a guy's perspective, I like ladies who can own their own sh!t. Granted, some folks don't know how to do stuff, but at least they should try and learn. If somebody is not even trying, that is a big turn-off for me.


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## JustDoIt (Feb 2, 2004)

pimpbot said:


> I keep an innnertube handy with a jingle-bell inside for folks like this. She gets a flat, doesn't carry a tube, I'll hand her my jingle-bell innertube to remind her to come prepared next time. Jinga-jinga-jinga!


Oh my! That is so great. I wanna ride with you! 

I went on a ride once with 3 guys. None of them carried an extra tube. 'Said they knew I'd have one! I couldn't believe that all 3 of them were thinking that


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## pimpbot (Dec 31, 2003)

*Sure, if you find yourself...*



JustDoIt said:


> Oh my! That is so great. I wanna ride with you!
> 
> I went on a ride once with 3 guys. None of them carried an extra tube. 'Said they knew I'd have one! I couldn't believe that all 3 of them were thinking that


 ...in the SF bay area, let us know on this board. Impy, JRM, and the Trogs from Modesto are the folks I ride with most often. Sometimes CrAsHaNdY from Marin joins us. that dude is a hoot. Always a good time.

Heh, that's funny. I ride with a guy who only carries a pump. I asked him one day, 'Whatcha gonna do if you get a flat? You got no patches or innertube, man!'


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## JC-Tri-Speed (Jan 5, 2004)

*Be more truthfull?*



Impy said:


> I don't know if this drives me any more nutz than guys who "assume" that I need advice on my bike. I personally am sick of guys trying to "be helpful" and come up and adjust things WITHOUT my consent. I have had not less than 5 different guys readjust my quick release (in 5 different positions) WITHOUT asking me if they can, and just give me advice on why their way is the "right" way. Same with advice on tires, cleat position, seat height, stem length, etc. *Grr*. I built up my own bike and dont need advice, and if I do , I will ask my boyfriend who is an awesome mechanic (and doesn't assume I need "help").
> 
> Both are annoying.
> 
> On a semi related note, once I was on a ride with this chick who had a branch _lightly_ brush her helmet during some singletrack. At the end she took off here helmet and made her friend check her for ticks. (tics, heh). She woudn't shut up about it and was being very fussy and "princessy" about it. "OHMAGAWD OHMAGAWD is there a tick? QUick look! Is there a tick in my hair? OHMAGWD!! I have to check my helmet! OHMAGAWD!" and so on for at least 5 minutes. Gah.


Impy

Why don't you be more awnest with your self and those around you. Speak up if you do not want some guy to mess with your bike. You will gain more resepect from the start and in the end. At this point you makeing your self out to be deseiving two faced Vixen. Now Who is annnoying??

Building a bike and riding one is two different things. Building a car and dridving one is another thing. Building a Plain and Flying one is two differnt things. Building an X-Ray machine and opertating one is another thing. You get my point. I now some Guy's that just ride there bikes but do not work on them at all. The bike shop is where they go, which is fine. I now a Bike Macn that just sales and builds bikes. This person has not acutlly riding a Moutian bike in the Moutians. Building any thing does not mean you know how to use it our set it up for a paticular person.

It is really hard to find Truthfull women thease day's.


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## chandosherald (Mar 26, 2004)

*Wet Sidi*

Now this princess can epic with the best of them. But let me tell you... if you have to cross a river (which happened to our crew recently) she will actually stop and take her shoes of so they won't get wet....They are mountain biking shoes, not heals. Stop worrying about your outfit and cross the stupid river...


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## downhillprincess (Feb 12, 2004)

*Oooohhh...*

....I can relate to this one fer sure! I ride with a girl sometimes who is a friend of a friend and she is the ultimate princess. Guys adore her cuz she is hot and she acts like a moron when we ride. If she can't keep up she blames it on the fact that she isn't wearing the right glasses or helmet or something stupid like that. The boys always invite her along cuz she's cute and a huge flirt, and the few of us girls can't stand her. But, with a little time her true colors have shown thru and some of the boyz have already commented on her "princess" like behavior and how annoying she is. So I say give it time, have faith in your friends to see the "light" sooner or later, and just kick her ass (metaphorically speaking) in the meantime!
...and the only reason there is a "princess" in my name is cuz that is what my pops calls me...so it is in honor of my dad!


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## titusguy (Jan 14, 2004)

*chandosherald?*



chandosherald said:


> Now this princess can epic with the best of them. But let me tell you... if you have to cross a river (which happened to our crew recently) she will actually stop and take her shoes of so they won't get wet....They are mountain biking shoes, not heals. Stop worrying about your outfit and cross the stupid river...


I'm the boyfriend mentioned in the original post. Someone had mentined, that we would get tired of it. Well, we did. And also, when Chando (who the hell is that?) first mentioned all the issue all of us wrote it off as *****y, jealous, crazy, menstrual, whatever. (you know stupid guy stuff)
Well, the seed was planted so I started paying attention. OMG, it's horrible. She is a good climber, but will say things like "I want to climb, to practice, because I suck at it). Then we (like suckers) say "no, no, you're great." (stroke, stroke).
How about this: Moab, last fall. After ride beers are happening. She grabs a beer and has no opener. She asks where the nearest one is. "In my camelback, on the alien, in the car."
The car is 40 feet away from the tent. "oh nevermind" she says with a heavy sigh. One of my crew (a guy) jumps up and helps her. Sucker.
So since paying attention I've gotten more annoyed every ride, I am so done with her. 
I would like to publicly apologize to Chando (who?) and promise to never fix her flat.


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## JustDoIt (Feb 2, 2004)

*You asking for trouble, Pimpbot?*

Maybe leave Impy (or Ms Trog?) out of it. Cuz think about it...

If both Impy and I were on the same ride, then I wouldn't be the only woman. Nor would Impy be the only woman riding with a bunch of guys. It wouldn't take long for the estrogen to kick in. Especially since we've never ridden together before. One of us would get jealous. Or maybe both of us!! Omigawd! Then there'd be a cat fight. I've already heard Impy is NOT an "awnest" woman. She'll probably cut her nails, not file them before the ride, and wear short fingered gloves. At some point, the two of us girls would be riding together in the back of the pack. Talking girl-talk. Impy will fake like there's something wrong with her bike. I'll naively stop and say, "Do you have everything you need? Should I call the boyz to help you?" or something like that. Then the true Impy will come out. (See her new avatar.) She'll scratch me to death. Leave me bleeding on the side of the trail. 'Say it must've been that mountain lion. Say she tried to save me, but, oh well. So, I dunno...


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## Impy (Jan 6, 2004)

JC-Tri-Speed said:


> Impy
> 
> Why don't you be more awnest with your self and those around you.
> 
> Building a bike and riding one is two different things. Building a car and dridving one is another thing. ... Building any thing does not mean you know how to use it our set it up for a paticular person.


Maybe you are right, maybe I'm too polite to say "get your hands off my bike". However , my point was as a woman I notice this happens a lot more to me than to male riders. It's not THAT big a deal, for crying out loud, I just thought that other women here might relate. Don't take it personally.

By the way I hardly think that the direction that my quick release points is equivalent to the sophisticated mechanics that goes into building and running a car.


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## The Weasel (Dec 22, 2003)

Great thread! As a guy I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, but I gotta say, I'm still waiting for the cat fight to break out!
As a result I will definitely keep my eyes open to this behavior (whenever i ride with girls)


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## Impy (Jan 6, 2004)

JustDoIt said:


> Maybe leave Impy (or Ms Trog?) out of it. Cuz think about it...
> 
> If both Impy and I were on the same ride, then I wouldn't be the only woman. Nor would Impy be the only woman riding with a bunch of guys. It wouldn't take long for the estrogen to kick in. Especially since we've never ridden together before. One of us would get jealous. Or maybe both of us!! Omigawd! Then there'd be a cat fight. I've already heard Impy is NOT an "awnest" woman. She'll probably cut her nails, not file them before the ride, and wear short fingered gloves. At some point, the two of us girls would be riding together in the back of the pack. Talking girl-talk. Impy will fake like there's something wrong with her bike. I'll naively stop and say, "Do you have everything you need? Should I call the boyz to help you?" or something like that. Then the true Impy will come out. (See her new avatar.) She'll scratch me to death. Leave me bleeding on the side of the trail. 'Say it must've been that mountain lion. Say she tried to save me, but, oh well. So, I dunno...


You forgot to mention that I'll be wearing my skort and eating a deviled ham sandwich. I'll only resort to the scratching if I can't instill "tickanoia"* first.

*registered trademark of pfunk


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## screampint (Dec 10, 2001)

LOL...

Just wait till one of you comes to_ my_ town...

Actually, that's not a bad idea... How about the First Annual MTBR Cat Fight!? We can all wear tiaras and white riding gloves.

I'll have to consult with the local Glitter Girls...


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## laotsu42 (Jan 5, 2004)

yeargh ...  

i had a girl friend who's best freind was that way ...she even tried to get inbetween us 
i generaly just treat them as equals untill they ask me to over extend myself on thier behalf and rudly shock them by not only not complying but asking blatantly why they cannot do it themselves ...

changing tires is the big one ...it is so easy unless you are afraid of breaking a nail ...
and if thier scared of that i imagine that alot of cycling would not be pleasant for them 

what i found amusing was that she though she was the best looking girl in the group ...
the guys all thought she was a *****y pain in the ass and not a good woman to try to get involved with ...


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